#and i hate admitting this because the only solution is sobriety and that fucking terrifies me more than anything
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#i hate myself i hate being an alcoholic#it's ruining my life and i fucking hate it but i can't stop#it just keeps getting worse#and i hate admitting this because the only solution is sobriety and that fucking terrifies me more than anything#but i can't keep doing this#i dont know what to do#i keep telling myself im going to take at least a 2 week break.#and then end up with so many plans#i know i could not drink but it feels impossible#i know thats pathetic as hell i don't know how to explain it#everyone makes not drinking sound so easy i dont understand#why is it so hard#my body is falling apart i wish it would just die#i hate myself#tw alcohol#alcoholic#alcoholism
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