#and i must say. going back to tumblr and being able to talk as long as i want in the tags is such a breath of fresh air actually

[likeumeanit9497]

metal | m.s. |

matt sturniolo x fem!reader

summary: y/n got a few new piercings, and when her best friend matt asks to see them, she can't say no

warnings: smut; unprotected p in v (bad); oral (fem receiving); masturbation (m/f); phone sex; dirty talk; 18+

notes: hiii guys. i feel like tumblr's flakiest writer ever coming back on here every few weeks with a one-shot and telling u all im gonna be more consistent but then just not being consistent at all. i just started a new college program and it is taking up so (!!!!) much of my time, so ive been barely able to put any time towards writing for funsies. soooo it might take me a couple weeks to put out one shots (sad) while im in this program, but i swear im doing the best i can. i appreciate u all so so so so much, but matt girls this one is for u <33

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

With a sigh of relief, I crawled into bed. It was late, and I was exhausted after a long day of dealing with family shit. The only thing that got me through my day listening to my dead-beat father come up with yet another excuse on why he no-showed at my birthday dinner was the promise that, at the end of the day, I would be able to curl up in bed and forget all of my problems. Now that time had come, and I couldn’t wait to turn on some trashy reality TV show and lose myself in their cushioned world for a little while.

Just as I started the show, I felt my phone vibrate beside me. For just a moment I was filled with dread — thinking that I would be once again pulled back into the drama that was my father — but once I saw the name at the top of my screen, I felt my body relax. Matt was calling.

Matt was my best friend, and he had been for years. Him and I met on the first day of school freshman year, and immediately became inseparable. He was the only person in my life who I ever felt comfortable around enough to truly open up to about my problems. There really wasn’t much in my life that he didn’t know, so of course I had told him last night that I was going to see my father, and of course that was why he was calling. Annoyingly, I felt a smile creep up on my face. I hated that I loved how involved he got with my problems; as if they were his own. I would never admit this to anyone, but it really helped because it made me feel less alone.

“Hey you.” I greeted him after accepting the call. “Hey Y/n.” His voice sounded familiar in my ear, and already it calmed the sea of bad thoughts crashing in my mind. “How did today go?” He asked, keeping his tone light. I knew though that if I could see his face, there would be faint lines of concern etched in his forehead. I sighed. “Exactly like I knew it would. He gave me an insincere apology and weak excuse the way he always does.” Matt stayed silent on the other side of the call, allowing me the time to tell him as much as I wanted. His soft breathing through the speaker, however, comforted me and let me know that he was listening.

“He smelled like a distillery and couldn’t stop slurring his words, yet he was still trying to tell me that he hadn’t drank all week.” I heard my voice weaken, and I hated that I felt a lump forming in my throat over the situation. I hated that I cared, and I definitely didn’t want anyone to know that I did; even Matt. But of course, he knew anyways. I heard an empathetic sigh through the phone. “I’m sorry, Y/n.” I rolled my eyes, doing everything I could to keep the tears from falling. “It’s whatever. It’s not like I’m really losing much, but I did tell him that I’m done for good.” I forced my words to come out smooth, like I didn’t care. And I didn’t, not really.

“That must have been really hard, Y/n. I’m really sorry.” Matt’s words were sincere, and they caused the lump in my throat to grow even bigger. I forced out a laugh to keep my other emotions at bay. “Don’t be sorry. It’s better this way. Maybe now I can finally have peace in my crazy life.” There was silence on the line, and I knew it was because Matt wanted me to go deeper about my feelings, but I couldn’t handle much more tonight.

“Anyways,” I started, blinking away my tears and plastering a corny smile on my face as if Matt could even see it, “How have you been? We haven’t talked much over the past week.” At the change of subject, Matt picked up on my disinterest in the topic of my father, and like the best friend he is, transitioned into our new topic smoothly. “I’ve been good, been working a lot but it’s been on exciting things. What have you been up to? You know, besides today?” I chuckled softly.

“Honestly not much besides work. My boss has been really stressed out since the end of last quarter so I’ve been coming into the office early and staying well past five every day.” I paused, staring up at my ceiling trying to think if there was anything exciting I could tell Matt. Suddenly, I remembered that there actually was something that I had done that was more interesting than just working late all week. “Oh! I also got some new piercings last week.” It was Matt’s turn to chuckle.

“Y/n, how the fuck did you fit more piercings on your body?” I laughed. He was right, both of my ears were filled with every piercing imaginable, and I also had my nose, tongue, and belly button pierced. I had already told him that I would never get anymore facial piercings, and I certainly didn’t have much room on my ears to get more, so I understood his confusion entirely. “Do you want to guess where they are?” I teased, feeling relieved to have something to talk about that didn’t make be absolutely miserable for once. “Sure,” I heard what sounded like a blanket rubbing against the speaker, and I assumed that Matt was now getting comfortable in bed, also seemingly enjoying the light-hearted conversation, “But can I get some hints?”

“Sure,” I replied, “You can ask me three questions.” I heard him smile through the phone. “Okay…” There was a pause as he came up with his first question. “How many did you get?” Without hesitation, I was able to respond. “I got three.” There was another pause, and then. “Are two of them a part of a pair?” I laughed at Matt’s not-so-subtle guess. I had told him months ago that I had been wanting to get a certain pair of piercings for a while, and I knew he was thinking of that exact conversation. “Yes they are.” I replied, and there was a dramatic gasp on the line. “Ouch, you actually got your nipples pierced?” His voice was laced with playful concern, and something else. Intrigue?

“Okay okay, you got two out of the three. One more question left.” I encouraged him. If he was shocked about my nipple piercings, I couldn’t wait to hear his reaction to the third. He was silent again for a moment, surely confused by the third piercing. Nipple piercings weren’t that outlandish for me, and he knew that, but this last one is sure to blow his mind. “Oh god, I don’t know. Is it another body piercing?” His tone sounded so helpless, and I knew he really didn’t have a clue. “It is, yes.” I did my best to contain my laughter at this point, not wanting to give it away.

“Is it a second belly button piercing?” The guess was weak, and by the tone of his voice he knew it. “Nope.” I replied, biting my nails in anticipation. He was once again silent on the phone, and I knew he was officially running out of ideas. After a moment, I decided to give him one last hint. “Think lower.”

A new silence poured from the phone. Before, there was the silence of deep thought. Now, there was a heavier silence that let me know he finally put it together in his head. Below your belly button, there aren’t many places you can get pierced. He knew that just as much as I did. But I didn’t know if his silence meant he was just shocked, or if he was genuinely disappointed in me. For the first time since becoming friends with Matt, I felt nervous that maybe I had gone too far.

“You’re serious?” He asked, finally breaking his silence, and I couldn’t help but release a short, nervous laugh. “Yeah. Why? Did I just delve too far into the daddy-issues stereotype?” I tried to keep my tone humorous, but inside I was actually worried that was true. Did he think I was weird now? Or did the fact that I had a piece of metal pierced atop my bundle of nerves immediately turn me into some dirty whore in his eyes?

“No! Jesus, no Y/n.” His rushed words put a pause on my spiralling thoughts, and I felt myself relax slightly. “It’s just,” In that moment, I wished that I could see his face. At least then I would have better odds of being able to read him instead of just waiting helplessly on the other side of the phone. He was struggling to find the words he wanted to say, and in my mind that meant he was getting ready to give me some sort of lecture. It wasn’t something that he was in the habit of doing, but I had also never done anything as shocking as this before. I began to prepare myself for this lecture, and come up with explanations and excuses for what I had done, when his hesitant words stopped me in my tracks.

“Can I see them?”

I stared at my phone for a second, unsure if I was just hearing things. “You want to see them?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking, for clarification’s sake. I was shocked. Even with how close Matt and I are, we had never ever seen each other naked. In fact, there had been no physical intimacy between us other than platonic cuddles every once in a while. I would be lying, though, if I denied ever having moments of weakness. There had been times, when we would have sleepovers after tough days and the heat of Matt’s comforting body pressed against me, where I had wanted to throw all logic aside and press my lips to his. But I never would have done it. Matt wasn’t exactly known for his boldness, and I feared that my bad habit of being spontaneous would absolutely destroy our friendship. But now, he had me questioning all of that.

“I’m curious.” He replied, his tone nonchalant. I still couldn’t tell if he was being serious, and I felt like a deer in headlights. Just as I was about to tell him to stop fucking around, my screen lit up with a Facetime call from Matt. My stomach did a flip. “You gonna pick up?” His voice made me jump, but I cleared my throat and hit accept.

Suddenly, Matt’s face filled my screen. He was in his bed, the only light in his room seeming to come from a faint source; likely his computer screen. His face was so familiar, and the smile he sent me so comforting, that I immediately felt more at ease than I felt before. “Hey.” He said gently, and I laughed at the ridiculousness of this moment. “Hey” I replied before shifting my position in bed nervously. “So you were serious?” I asked awkwardly, and he nodded. “If you’re okay with it, obviously.” I took a deep breath. I was okay with it, of course, but it was just so out of the norm for us that I felt shell shocked.

“I’ll show you nipples first.” I said, sitting up in my bed before grabbing the bottom hem of my oversized t-shirt. I positioned my phone in front of my still-clothed chest, and watched his face on the screen. He laid naturally in bed, acting as if nothing was out of the ordinary, but the way his dilated blue eyes were glued to the screen I could tell that he was feeling the same kind of anticipation that I was. Slowly, I finally lifted my shirt up over my chest; allowing him a full view of my new piercings.

I intentionally left the shirt up to block my own vision, because I couldn’t handle watching him stare at my tits for the first time. In the dark, all I heard was silence for what felt like forever, and I got worried that I had somehow lost him. Cautiously, I pulled my t-shirt away from my eyes, and glanced at him on the screen. He was staring intently; I could see his eyes move from one tit to the other every few seconds, and there was a slight grin across his face. “Wow.” He said finally, still taking them in. “Those are sick piercings.” I stifled a laugh at the fact that he was still trying to act like it was all just about the piercings, and that there weren’t two tits attached to the metal. “Thanks.” I replied, a small chuckle still evident in my voice.

I allowed him a few more seconds of shameless staring before speaking again. “You ready for the third?” I watched as he blinked a few times and took a deep breath. “I can’t wait.” He replied, causing my stomach to do another flip. I brought the phone back up to my face as I laid back down, smiling at him nervously as I pulled my comforter off my lower body. I was only wearing a pair of panties, so I already felt shy when I positioned my phone in between my legs. I used the front camera still, hoping that it would allow him a better view, but hated that you could still see the lower part of my face.

Matt hadn’t moved in his bed since I looked at him last. In fact, it almost looked like his image was frozen. His eyes were still glued to the screen, and he seemed to be barely blinking; as if he was scared that if he did, he would miss it entirely. “Okay, ready?” I asked, using the hand that wasn’t holding the phone steady to grab onto the side of my panties. Even in the almost-dark of his room, I could see him gulp before nodding his head. “Ready.” He replied.

Slowly, I hooked a finger under my panties, and pulled them to the side. In the blink of an eye, all of me had been revealed to Matt through a screen inches away from my core. My eyes veered back and forth from myself in the phone and Matt’s expression. I could see the shiny metal glitter against my pink clit, and watched as Matt visibly struggled to keep his composure. Neither of us spoke for a moment, and I felt myself begin to tremble under his shameless stare. I grew nervous, then, that my body would begin to give away how suddenly aroused I became under his eyes. My core was flooding with heat, and I knew that I was beginning to grow slick with my wetness.

“Does it hurt?” He finally spoke, but his voice had changed drastically since I had last heard it. It had dropped nearly a whole octave, and there was a sort of breathlessness to it that was foreign to me. It was the voice of arousal, and that knowledge was enough to drive me crazy. “N-no, it doesn’t,” I replied, using all the strength in me to not squeeze my legs together to relieve some of the pressure flooding my core. “It’s been a week, and these sorts of piercings heal really quick surprisingly. I can touch it and everything.” My last sentence fell from my mouth thoughtlessly, and I immediately felt my cheeks grow hot at my accidental boldness. That didn’t last long, though, because Matt’s next words pulled all that heat right back to where it was before.

“So touch it then.”

It was like all the sense was knocked out of me from his words. I would have thought that my instinct would have been to laugh and roll my eyes before telling Matt to knock it off, but the seriousness of his tone, the sharp blue of his piercing eyes, and gruffness of his voice caused my brain to shut off. Immediately, my hand traveled to my bud, where I began to slowly play with the metal. Although I had been telling the truth when I told Matt that it was fully healed, I hadn’t yet touched myself in this way since getting it pierced, and the new sensation immediately sent pleasurable shock waves through my body. As I began to slowly rub my clit, the metal added a new level of pressure to the nerves that — combined with the adrenaline that came from doing this in front of my best friend for the first time — caused me to throw my head back against my pillows.

“Tell me how it feels.” Matt’s deep voice filled the space around me in a way that made me feel even more erotic, and I released a soft moan. “I-It feels good.” I replied breathlessly, my fingers beginning to move quicker as I squeezed my eyes shut in pleasure. “Better than before?” His question came out slightly choppy, and through the phone speaker I heard the rhythmic shuffling of his comforter. “Y-yes. Much better.” I managed to reply, the thought of what he was doing to himself on the other side of the screen pushing me closer to the edge.

“Look at me.” He commanded, and without hesitation I lifted my head up; looking at him through the screen. He could only see the lower half of my face, but I could see all of his. As I continued toying with myself, I watched him through fluttering eyelashes. Although his face had not changed much — besides the darkening of his pupils and the faint accumulation of sweat on his brow — the repetitive movement of his bicep at the corner of the screen told me everything that I needed to know. “You look so good.” He complimented me, his voice low and gravelly. I moaned in response, rolling my hips slowly as I began to grow antsy with a need that I knew I couldn’t fulfill myself.

The pleasure was growing like a balloon deep inside of me, but my own fingers weren’t enough to reach it. Not now; not when I have a beautiful man that I trust more than anyone else watching me with that dangerously erotic gaze. Just like Matt knows everything about me, I know everything about him. And so I know that, in this moment, he wants the same thing that I do. That’s why I didn’t feel any unease or hesitation when I drew my fingers away from my clit, ran them achingly slow along the rest of my heat, and spoke.

“Please come over Matt.”

It was a request that I had made to him countless times. Those times I was usually close to tears after a long day of dealing with the shitty cards I had been handed in the family department. I needed him then, like I need him now. In those times he never ever hesitated, and this time was no different. In one swift motion, I watched through the screen as Matt lifted himself out of his bed, threw on a t-shirt, and grabbed his keys off the bedside table. “I’ll be there in ten.” Just like my request, his response was the same as always. As I told him to drive safe before hanging up the call, I felt my body vibrate in a way it never had before. I pulled my hand out of my panties and waited in desperate anticipation for the familiar sound of his car pulling into my driveway.

𓆩☆𓆪

Matt arrived at my place in eight minutes, and as soon as I saw his headlights through my window, I sprung out of bed and raced to the door. There was no nervousness, no reluctancy, no questioning whether or not we were making a big mistake; all I knew was that I needed his hands on my burning skin desperately.

I flung the door open before he even had a chance to knock, but Matt didn’t hesitate before pulling me into him and engulfing my mouth with his own. Although we had never kissed before, it wasn’t shock that I felt in that moment; it was the melting satisfaction of familiarity. I practically collapsed in his arms as his mouth moved against mine as if they were two pieces of a puzzle, and relished in the feeling of his hands travelling wildly across my aching body at last.

As he held me gently against the wall, I felt his hardened member press against my core, and I shuddered in pleasurable frustration. In that moment, I could have lost all self control — pulled his pants and boxers down in one movement and slipped his cock into my aching core right then and there — if he hadn’t grabbed onto my ass and lifted me off of the ground. Without removing his lips from mine, he carried me past my entrance way and all the way into my dark bedroom as if he had memorized every square inch of my place.

As he continued to kiss me with hungry desire, he paradoxically draped my body gently against my bed. Leaning over me, his mouth refused to leave mine and his tongue begged me for entrance. I obliged, and our tongues swirled together with comfort; as if they were old friends. The sound of our heavy breathing filled my head, and I ran my hands along his body; allowing myself to feel him in a way I never had before. Each part of him felt familiar — his back, his arms, his stomach — but each new part of him I touched set off sparks of electricity under my fingertips. This was real, and this was good.

It was only after I began toying with the waistband of his pants, and he the hem of my shirt, that our lips separated and we really looked at each other since the moment he arrived. Both of our chests were heaving as we tried to catch our breath, and I gazed up at his darkened eyes for what felt like forever, until a soft smile crept onto his swollen lips. “Hi.” He said, and I released a short laugh realizing that this was the first word either one of us had said to the other since hanging up the Facetime call. “Hey.” I replied, a smile matching his now etched onto my face.

“Can I take this off?” He tugged on the bottom of my t-shirt, and I nodded. “Please.” I replied, feeling no shame in my clear desperation. Matt obliged, pulling the shirt up over my head and exposing the tits he had seen on Facetime not long before. There was a pause, and for the first time since we started all this I felt briefly insecure. That is, until I looked up to his face and saw his jaw physically dropped in awe. He looked like he had fallen into some sort of trance, and mindlessly brought his two gentle hands toward my hardened, pierced nipples. He ran a soft thumb against each piercing, and I hissed at the deliciously taunting sensation.

“Do these ones hurt at all?” His voice was soft, almost a whisper, but his eyes never left my chest. “These ones do a little, yeah.” I replied, to which his eyes finally fluttered up to my face with slight concern. “But it’s really not that bad.” I added, reassuring him out of fear that he might suddenly not want to continue. This seemed to help, as his eyes made their way back to my chest before his body suddenly began tilting forward. He leaned above my chest, really only centimetres away, and I watched as he placed two small, unbelievably gentle kisses against each hardened nipple. The ecstasy I felt in that moment caused me to release a soft moan, and goosebumps spread across my skin like wildfire, and I suddenly realized that I needed him more than ever.

As if reading my mind, his mouth then began moving slowly down my writhing body. He took his time on my sternum, then the skin below my belly button, then my hip bones, and I felt like I could explode. My hands flew to his hair and I subconsciously tugged at its base in decadent frustration. And then slowly, so, so, slowly, Matt began dragging my soaked panties down my legs. I felt like I could crumble under his gaze, but his eyes never left my newly exposed core. Blinking ever so slowly, he dropped to his knees and grabbed my shaky legs to part them. Once he did, I watched as he groaned softly at what he saw.

I knew without having to look that I was literally dripping from arousal, and that hunch was confirmed when Matt took one finger and dragged it along my slit; collecting the overabundance of fluid. He didn’t even take his eyes off of my centre, he just brought his wet finger to his mouth and wrapped his lips around it; so transfixed by what he saw in front of him that he didn’t even care to make a scene of tasting me for the first time. I had never felt more glorious than I did in that moment, and it was so overwhelming that I could have came just from sight alone.

Slowly, Matt’s mouth inched closer and closer to my clit, before he carefully wrapped his lips around it. Upon the first contact of his warm tongue playing with the cool metal of my piercing, I was hit with a powerful wave of pleasure that shook my whole body. As he picked up speed, swirling and sucking my bundle of nerves, I couldn’t control the sounds that fell from my lips. Moans of pleasure, pain, and anticipation filled the room, and they only seemed to draw similar ones from Matt.

Matt slid two fingers into me with ease, and began pumping them in and out in rhythm with the movements of his tongue. His fingers were curled up to just the place I needed them to be, and I felt what was left of my sanity begin to crumble as I approached an orgasm. The orgasm that I had been desperately needing since our Facetime call. It’s impending presence had taken control of my mind for what felt like forever, and now it was finally threatening to take control of my entire body. Yet, still, I needed more.

Quickly, before the first waves could crash, I pulled Matt’s face away. Immediately, his blissed-out expression quickly changed to one of concern, but before he had the chance to speak, my desperate voice filled the room. “Please Matt, I want to cum with you.” His features softened before understanding flashed in his eyes. Without saying a word, he stood up and began unzipping his pants. I waited in anticipation, watching with hungry eyes as his painfully hard member sprung free from his boxers. Once he had fully discarded his clothes, he leaned down and kissed me so deeply that I saw stars. His mouth tasted like me, and I couldn’t help but slip my tongue past his lips; intoxicated by the combination of me and him on my tastebuds.

I felt his naked member press against my core and I shuddered from pure lust. I was so engulfed in the intensity that I was afraid I would fall into pieces as soon as he slid into me. Breaking the kiss, Matt straightened himself out and grabbed my legs before placing them on either side of his waist. The two pieces of us that needed each other the most right now were just inches from one another. My eyes fell between my legs, and I watched in euphoric awe as Matt grabbed his swollen member, lined it up with my centre, and slowly pushed into me. His movements were so torturously, deliciously slow, my eyes rolled and my head fell back onto the mattress.

On each slow roll of his hips, his cock slammed into my g-spot and made my vision go spotty. I held onto his flexed shoulders like I was drowning and they were my life raft, and I released harsh guttural moans each time my walls stretched; welcoming him graciously. “Fuck, you feel so good.” Matt’s raspy voice fluttered my stomach, and I opened my eyes to come face-to-face with him. He was staring down at my contorted face with a look filled with nothing but pleasure and adoration. His flushed cheeks and dark pink lips gave him a look that bordered on innocent, but there was a certain hint of hard focus in the depths of his ocean eyes that told me he was feeling as good as I was.

Each time he thrusted into me, the soft crest of his pelvis brushed ever so lightly against my new piercing; granting me a new form of pleasure that I had never experienced before. I had been told by other people that the piercing can be intense during sex, but I had underestimated just how intense it would be. I had no sense of control as Matt’s cock continued to drive into me, and I couldn’t help but vocalize how he was making me feel.

“J-just like that Matt, fuck!”

“Your c-cock fills me s-so go-od!”

“H-harder, please baby!”

At my last statement, Matt showed he was listening by suddenly slamming into me harder and faster than I had ever felt before. He grabbed my legs and wrapped them tightly around his waist, and as I arched my back in pleasure he draped one of his arms around it and used the other to hold my jaw; brushing it lightly with his thumb to ensure me that his gentleness had not completely disappeared. His breathing quickly grew more and more rapid, and deep grunts fell from his mouth every few seconds.

I was hit with shockwaves of pleasure upon each of his thrusts, and I knew that my orgasm was closer than ever. I dug my nails into his back and tightened my legs around him in a desperate and subconscious attempt at getting as close as possible to him, and it was clear that there was no stopping the orgasm that was bubbling inside of me. “G-gonna cum Matt.” I squeaked out, rolling my hips up slightly deepen his thrusts even more. “Good girl, want me to cum with you?” His words were in my ear, and even the dampness that his mouth made against my skin added to my unraveling euphoria. Beyond the point of being able to speak correctly, I simply nodded my head frantically.

As I did, Matt released the deep moan that pushed me over the edge. My orgasm took control of every cell in my body, and I cried out in overwhelming pleasure as it tore me to shreds. I felt my body stiffen so much that I was practically lifting off of the bed, and my walls pulsed intensely as I squirted violently all over Matt. Just then, I felt Matt’s body stiffen above me, and his movements became a whisper as he cursed into my ear. “Oh fuck, fuck, fuck.” His moans rang in my ear with each of his weak thrusts, and I felt his twitching cock paint my walls white as he came undone in unison with me.

Eventually, his body stilled completely, and he rested above me as we both caught our breaths and came down from our highs. His cock slipped out of me, and I immediately felt cold and empty in its absence. After a few moments, Matt lifted his head from my shoulder and gazed at me with a soft smile on his face.

“Damn.”

“I know.”

”I mean, that was-”

“I know.”

We continued to stare at each other, both with matching smiles on our faces, until I dissolved into childish giggles.

“What?” Matt asked, unable to keep himself from laughing as well. “What?” He asked again, nudging my shoulder gently as I giggled. “I mean come on,” I continued to laugh, “That was crazy. Don’t you think it was crazy?” I looked at him, starting to feel the first hints of regret now that it was over and we had to go back to being friends. “I don’t think it was crazy.” He replied simply, before bringing his lips back to mine. This kiss was different than the other ones we shared tonight, though. There was no hunger, no lust. There was just love.

He pulled away after only a few moments, and I looked back at him with what I was sure was confusion all over my face. “I have never felt less crazy in my life than I’ve felt tonight.” Matt continued, and I felt my stomach flutter, “Tonight, everything finally feels right.” I felt a bashful smile form on my lips. I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel the exact same way. “So,” I started, unsure of how to maneuver this, “What now?” Matt got up.

“Well,” He began, grabbing his discarded t-shirt and using it to gently clean me up, “It’s late and you’ve had a long day, so I think we should get some sleep.” I propped myself up on my shoulders and watched as he began to clean himself next. “And then when we wake up tomorrow, we’ll go get some breakfast and talk about what we both want.” He walked into my adjacent bathroom and started the shower, the way he has done a thousand times before, before walking back to where I was and helping me off the bed.

Once I was on my feet, he placed another gentle kiss against my lips, and I felt my insides melt at the comfort of his touch. “But if I’m being completely honest, which you know I always am, I think we both already know we want the same thing.” I looked up at him through nervous eyelashes, and had to chew my bottom lip to stifle the massive smile that was threatening to take over my mouth. Matt had no problem showing his huge smile, and he tilted his head quizzically in my silence. “Am I right?” He asked, and instead of responding with words, I leaned up and placed a kiss of my own on his lips.

─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─

[tarotofhope]

PAC: ♡ Channelled Love Songs from your Current/Future Romantic Partner ♡

(Please Read My Pinned post *IMPORTANT NOTE* before selecting a Pile)

Pick an Image by meditating and selecting the image you feel called to. You can be attracted towards more than 1 image. If you are not able to select maybe this reading isn't for you.

(You can find all the songs mentioned in the Piles on SPOTIFY. Unfortunately Tumblr only allows 10 audio links per post🥲)

Pile 1

Songs - Aaya Jado Da by Asees Kaur

Screen Time by Epik High ft. Hoshi

Don't Forget To Breathe by Aaryan Shah

Welcome to your reading, Pile 1. First of all, lot of green ink occured in your pile. Your partner seems very caring, nurturing and protective of you. They might be a very caring and loving person themselves, very protective of their belongings and loved ones. They like to have a quick check on you(like not in a toxic or negative way). They want to know you better and your little quirks. They genuinely care about your well being. They might be very cautious, structured, organised individual, a fitness freak as well. They seem kind of very picky, they don't open up to just anybody, they might have very few close friends. They're mostly not interested in flings and one-night stands. They take relationships seriously so they'll only jump into it when they see some real value in it. This person is like a 'husband/wife material' person or atleast a long term partner. This also seems like a long distance relationship to me or getting into a relationship after a series of personal hardships when you've become very mature either age-wise or experience-wise.

So, that's all I got for you, my dear Pile 1.

Hope you're with this person or find this person soon 😉

Hope, light, love and peace to you..🌸🌼🌻

Pile 2

Songs - Talk About Love by Callum Beattie

Seven- Clean Version by Jungkook

Tenu Khabar Nahi by Arijit Singh

Welcome to your reading, Pile 2. Have you guys currently been in separation or broken up with your partner? This could be a recent past energy as well. See, now this also looks like an ex's energy(I don't like to go into this topic because it creates unnecessary confusion but it appeared in the reading so I had to) and whether ex or not, if you strictly don't want this person back into your life, you must then very well know that you've ended up for good and you don't need to allow this person back or this pile totally isn't for you, you should select another pile. One thing is prominent though, one of you has done something bad to the another person..and that was the main reason for your guys' separation. I'm nobody to judge you guys, you know yourselves better. Well, whoever this person is, they want to reconcile with you or you're currently reconciling already. It could be a different case for everyone choosing this pile. It could be so that this person or both of you might still have feelings for each other. This person wants to make things better or do things right. There is a promise of not making the same mistakes again. This person is asking for another chance. Now, you need to decide for yourselves, what's good for you and what's not. It's totally up to you.

That's all I see in the cards for you, my dear Pile 2.

Hope, light, love and peace to you..🌸🌼🌻

Pile 3

Songs - Tera Mera Hai Pyar Amar by Ahmed Jahanzeb

I'm Gonna Love You by D.O. ft. Wonstein

Can't Help Falling In Love by Elvis Presley

Welcome to your reading, Pile 3. This person looks so in love. But more so, this person is very sure of you, there feelings are very intense, too. As they are saying, that it's so easy to fall in love with you, either it's a love at first sight situation or there is a certain clarity about choosing you/about wanting to continue further with you. Nothing can change their mind about you. They are giving me strong future spouse energy because they just want to take you away as soon as possible. So, they'll be very assertive in their approach towards you in the courtship period itself. I also think that they'll be the first one to approach you if you've not met this person already. They'll make sure that you know they are not just fooling around, that you're in for a very long ride. They'll also want to make sure that you too, feel the same way for them before going very far because they want it all or nothing. They'll definitely try to win your heart over, Pile 3.

That's all I got for you, dear Pile 3.

Hope, light, love and peace to you..🌼🌸🌻

Pile 4

Songs - Young And Beautiful by Lana Del Rey

Every Second by Baekhyun from EXO (Record of

Youth OST- 3)

Aadat Se Majboor by Benny Dayal

Welcome to your reading, Pile 4. This person might be a heart-throb. Popular person energy(for their work or looks). Everybody swoons over them. Their energy is quite charming and charismatic. They are bold, fun loving and outgoing, life of the party kind of person. You both might be quite the opposite of each other. They will be very confident in their approach. They might just be nervous about how to woo you because you are different from others and they don't want to make any mistake. They don't want to look like a creep. If you've already met this person or in a relationship, you know. They are someone who'll totally make a fool out of themselves to make you laugh. They love to see you smile and laugh but also, you don't laugh a lot, it seems. There seems to be a lot of people who are sexually attracted to them, but they choose you because you are special to them, you're not like the others according to them. They might've got their heart broken a couple times earlier due to which they're afraid of losing you but that's not going to be the case because they're sure of one thing that you're very firm in your decisions, rock solid and you won't run away when life gets bad. You guys are going to be like a power couple, each helping the other person where they are lacking, each completing the other.

So, that's all I got for you, my dear Pile 4.

Hope, light, love and peace to you..🌻🌼🌸

Pile 5

Pile 5

Songs - Lover by Taylor Swift

Spider By Hoshi

Tere Mast Mast Do Nain by Rahat Fateh Ali Khan

Welcome to your reading, Pile 5. Your person seems very Venusian(very lovey-dovey, full of charm, likes fine art) and Neptunian(very dreamy) to me, a hopeless romantic even. Some of you might also be attracted to Pile 4, because this pile has got some similar vibes. They are magnetic, could also be popular for something that they do, something that only they create. They have a good taste in music as well, could be a musician or they like to play musical instruments. Dancing and singing could be their hobby or talent. They are also someone who knows flirting like the back of their hand. It comes naturally to them, sometimes they don't even know that they're flirting. They might also like good food and fine-dining, might also love to cook. You might not like this person in the beginning because you think they're a flirt and they don't look serious, but you'll eventually start liking them because they're not what they seem from the outside. It is giving me the vibes of 'One fell in love first, but the other one fell harder.' Their heart is so pure and innocent. They'll woo you with their heart, Pile 5. You seem like a tough nut to crack to them, someone who's hard to get. I also think you've got pretty eyes and a resting b**** face. They love it. There's going to be a playful banter between you guys. Everything will be worth it in the end.

So, that's all I've got for you, my dear Pile 5.

Hope, light, love and peace to you..🌻🌼🌸

Thank you so much for being here. I post PAC readings every Tuesday and Friday. Do love and support by reblogging, liking or following.

———————————♡ ♡ ♡———————————

[ceilidho]

This is in no way of hating but i want to know why do you enjoy writing noncon/rape? When I first downloaded tumblr which was couple of months ago i was surprised by the amount of noncon fics here. I eventually came to enjoy them which makes me question myself. Whenever i read a noncon fic and enjoy it i feel like im betraying women who actually went through those traumatic events. Plus I actually don't really like dark romance books? I love cod dead dove and that is mainly because i really love the characters and the authors are so talented. I rambled so much and i hope you don't get this in the wrong way i don't mean to hate AT ALL i love the stuff you write. Maybe i shouldn't think too much and let myself enjoy what im reading lol

first of all, no worries! i wasn't sure about your tone/intentions at first, but by the end i was totally fine with the question.

i actually don't mind talking about this stuff - i just sometimes avoid it on main because i prefer chatting about it privately.

second, i'm no psychologist or sociologist, so i probably won't be able to give you the most satisfactory answer, but i think there are a lot of different reasons. i can only name a few. one thing i should mention right off the bat is that rape fantasies are very normal (and this is true whether you're a survivor of SA or not) and writing/reading fiction can be a safe way to process those thoughts/feelings.

one of prevailing reasons is, of course, that many survivors of SA use noncon/dubcon literature/art as a way of processing their experiences and taking ownership of their trauma.

and look, people are going to go back and forth on this point (i've seen it all before - many people refuse to believe that engaging with noncon lit/art is helpful, and in fairness, it's NOT helpful for everyone because every person is different), but at the end of the day, if a survivor tells you "writing/reading this was helpful in my recovery" then that's that!

additionally, for many women and non-binary folk (i can only speak as a cis woman, but i'm sure this is a shared lived experience across many different people), we're also taught from a very young age to suppress our sexual desires / that being open about our sexuality is morally reprehensible and shameful. and a lot of people carry that shame for years, impacting them well into adulthood. so dubcon/noncon fantasies can be a way of being able to enjoy sexual scenarios where you don't have to be the initiator, thus taking away some of the emotional weight and shame.

plus, at the end of the day (and im sure many people will disagree with this take, it's something that i'm still figuring out myself), there is a kind of weird underlying consent implicit in dark fics. like, you might be reading a fic or novel that's ostensibly noncon, but you're also actively seeking out that literature (hopefully it's not just sprung on you - i do very much agree with tagging to the fullest extent and my lukewarm take is that I think all books, even traditionally published ones, should come with content/trigger warnings too).

there are a medley of reasons why someone might write or read dark fiction/dark romance. again, i'm just one person and i can only speak from my own experience!

i think at the end of the day, the important thing to realize is that fiction is fake, and as long as the writer appropriately tags their work and ensures that the audience is aware of what they're getting into when they start reading, they're not coercing the reader into something they aren't prepared for.

and it's totally fine if you have limits (like, you can read and enjoy dubcon, but not noncon) or can't engage with the material at all, but it's also unfair to say that it reflects someone's real life values - the same way that we don't say that the people who enjoy crime fiction must love murder.

and the last thing i want to say because this got a bit out of hand lol, is that, yes, for some people dark fiction is genuinely harmful, whether or not they're a survivor. it's not for everyone and that's completely fine and i'm aware of that, which is why i agree that you should tag as much as possible (even if you feel like you're overdoing it sometimes), but someone else's discomfort doesn't give them the right to tell you how to process your own emotions/experiences/desires/etc.

as long as no one's getting hurt, there's no issue as far as i'm concerned. and sorry but, no one's getting hurt by reading a fic or a novel unless the author didn't give proper content warnings - if you "forgot" to read the tags or read anyway DESPITE being warned, im sorry but that's life.

[endereies]

Junction - Matt Sturniolo

Contains: arguing, yelling, angst, kind of happy ending??

Word Count: 1780

Author's Notes: i gotta stop posting and disappearing for a while, school has been a pain in my ass. thank fuck i only have a week left. I havent abandoned my matt series, i only obtained writers block instead. I promise another chapter will be out soon. ANYWAY, tumblr needs more angst so i must deliver. :)

“Matt. You have to see where I’m coming from..” 

You had been arguing with Matt for the better part of two hours. Small fragments of pent-up opinions finally formed a full set that was being thrown back at you.  

“I don’t have that much time to throw in your face whenever you need it.” His voice was slightly raspy as he choked out words at you constantly. You weren’t sure if this was the first time he said these phrases, or the seventh. But it was getting to you. 

“You think that’s what I want. I don’t want time! I want you. But you aren’t here anymore.” Tears had brimmed and fallen your eyes long ago and now stained your cheeks with the pure begging from your tone. 

“You think this is easy? I want to be near you, but I have to film, to edit, to create. I’m so sorry I’m too busy for an extra five minutes with you.” At this point you were both exasperated. Empty. And worn out by each other. Your arms were crossed in a self-comfort stance but his were in self-defence, refusing to let up. 

“Matt. You have a schedule, but you spend so much extra time and it’s wearing us both thin! Surely you see that..” As much as you were pulling at your hair, he was pulling at your heart. Tugging on each string as his facial expressions softened. 

Neither of you wanted to stretch this out as much as you did. Several hours had gone by and you both hadn’t been able to access your points without the other interrupting. Pleading internally began, begging to speak to one other.  

Having two stubborn people force their views was always a hard situation to be in. Two passionate people always adding to a fire created something that wasn’t worn down for days. It gnawed at you both endlessly.  

After nearly two weeks of this same argument, it was hard to talk about anything new. The points kept repeating themselves as language grew vile. 

“All I see is you being needy and it’s overwhelming me so much. Don’t you see.” 

You stood stunned at his tone of voice, the words he used and the pure spite behind it all. The silence wrapped around you both, creating an instant tension that was sharp and stabbed you. Your chest felt heavy with the weight of burdening someone you care so much about. It wasn’t simple words being aimlessly thrown to stand by your choices. It was hatred that had slipped though. 

Were you really that needy. To the point that it was overbearing? Arrogant? Despotic? You didn’t know. 

You only wanted to spend time with him. The memory of an old DVD that was clutched in your hand, crashed on the floor with an open case. 

Your expression faltered quickly, lacking any patience that you had left. 

“Right..well. I’ll stay out of your way then” Even saying those words hurt you more than it should’ve because all you wanted to do was be around him. But if he felt like you had to back off, you were going to choose any option that may lead to resolving this. Neither of you wanted to back down, but neither of you also wanted to lose the other and so you caved. 

It wasn’t long after those words were muttered that you left, returning to the front room. It hurt when you saw the DVD player unloaded with the abandoned disc. You switched the box back to the normal programmes and clicked into the YouTube app. You shoved on a random commentary video that you had seen before. It was the quickest things you thought of to change your mood.  

Matt had gone in the other direction, upstairs to his own bedroom to lounge in his chair and play Fortnite. He had been obsessed with the new chapters and ever since his audience requested runs of it. He wasn’t going to turn that down as a distraction. 

- 

It had been a few hours of your YouTube series, and you were starting to get agitated. Every small argument from it made you flinch as your mind flashed back to the past two weeks between you and Matt. Call-backs of loud voices caused those remnants of hurt to spark inside your mind. That was when you had to turn it off.  

When the screen changed to black, your head did too, void of most thoughts. A strong exhale escapes your lips when you push yourself off the sofa. Your sweats slid up your legs and your shirt was a little twisted.  

Yet, the only thing that mattered to you was rest, especially once you saw how dark the sky was. You sought out the stars in the sky, but many clouds covered the brightest ones.  

Hesitation filled your body with each step towards the edge of the stairs, not as much due to the lack of energy as it was to nerves. Nerves that got worse each time you thought about passing Matt’s room. You knew you had to go there in order to get blankets, you just hoped to go unnoticed.  

In full honesty, you couldn’t ever bring yourself to make many first moves with Matt, no matter the circumstances, and this was no exception.  

It was like you were a child again, sneaking through the house when you know you should be asleep. Trouble wasn’t going to land in your lap, internally you knew that. If only your mind did.  

You were just paranoid that you’d be caught in conversation with him. Every ‘conversation’ between the pair if you had ended in some sort of a remark, if not a fight. 

Your body edged its way to the door of Matts room, and you were thankful to find his headset on. Without a stream watching. 

Curses fell from his lips as he fought off other players, and you just wanted to avoid that noise. One night. That’s all you wanted. You didn't want to be in his way again. 

A burden. 

With your arms full of a thick blanket, close to a duvet, you carried it through the door. The pillows that lined the couch, sufficed for your head as you laid them below your neck.  

This wasn’t as comfy as being in a bed, yet, knowing that Matt would soon follow seemed a bit more intimidating. The past two weeks had been hell for the both of you and with you both wearing thing, so did your patience. 

The duvet gave you some comfort against the chills of the night, but something was missing, as much as you didn’t want to admit it.  

You knew. 

- 

“UGH FUCKS SAKE” Matt threw his controller onto his desk and watched as it clattered across his things before falling to land just by your foot. He let an exasperated sigh slip past his lips while he rubbed his face. His headset had slowly become more knocked off with every movement of his neck. With a lack of care to fix it, he threw that the same way as his controller. Each games grew to be challenging to complete and get past a place of #50. 

He let the headphones fall to his neck and hang as he laid his head in his hands. The atmosphere was tense, and the air seemed colder than normal.  

With the game dimming in volume, he realised how quiet the house was. No fans were turned on, no quiet mumbling of your voice singing a song, no show in the background. 

Nothing. 

It was unlike you to not have any sound playing around the house and it made him question if you were even home. Neither choice seemed good. 

He pushed his weight away from his desk and stood up. The hours of playing were only a distraction from the argument and now it had started to seep back into his thoughts. As much as he hated to admit it, he had been such a dick today. The balance between two passionate people had shifted to hurtful words towards the other.  

In full honesty, you never overwhelmed him and now he was missing how you both felt two weeks ago. It felt cold and lacked remorse. He had fucked up.  

Once Matt collected his thoughts his body begrudgingly moved along the wooden floors. He needed to find you and talk to you.  

You heard Matt’s footsteps through the ceiling with each creaking floorboard he stepped on. The covers immediately went up to your face and you turned your body on the sofa.  

You sling an arm over your face when the light above you flicks on, your eyes used to the dark night. 

“Are you awake..?” his voice was timid, unlike the spiteful tones from a few hours ago. 

He stammers a bit before sighing heavily, not knowing how to relieve the situation. 

The shine in your eyes was barely visible against the minimal light from the moon. 

Even if you didn’t respond to him, he knew you were awake as you moved away from the bright light. 

You internally expect him to turn around and return to his own bed, but he only etched closer, examining my body. 

The light above is suddenly shielded by his shadow and the cushions around you move as he lays himself alongside you. Before you even register anything, he snakes an arm around your waist. 

Your throat tightened when he nudged his face into the crevasse of your neck. 

“Matt..?” you rotate your head and notice his exhausted expression that was etched in his eyes. Your heart clenched as he lay next to you, wondering if you were the reason for his distress or guilt. 

A quiet hum escapes his lips, vibrating against your skin. 

“I know.. can we just leave it for a night. I miss you.” 

You felt your stomach turn with one too many emotions for you to process. His words uttered a silent apology 

“Is this hurting you as much as it is me?” Matt takes in a sharp exhale once the damage of the past two weeks sits between you. Silent but deadly. 

“I mean maybe we shoul-” His lips pepper a few kisses to your cheek before silencing you with a kiss to your own lips. 

“I know..I’ve been thinking it too..but all I ask is if we can forget this for just one night.” A pause settles between us. 

“Can we just remember each other one more time?” 

You weakly sigh and turn yourself one last time to face him, your eyes slowly brimming with tears. 

“Okay, Matt. One night..” 

@melliflws @axolotllover225 @yuhayeee @st7rnioioss @sturn-bugz @bueckerslover @worldlxvlys @raysmayhem-72 @patscorner @y0urm4m @bernardsbendystraws @junnniiieee07 @luverboychris @sleepysturnss @jnkvivi

[mitamicah]

Gig repport: Allas Sea Pool, Helsinki July 5 2024

Here follows my experiences with Käärijä at Allas Sea Pool, Helsinki on July 5 2024.

Having a bit longer to the venue than with Backas two days prior I went out around 7 and met up with @jaarijani and @pianist-chan at the queue. I was genuinely surprised to learn how many people had made personalized bracelets for me including @n3ongold3n that made ‘greatful’ and ‘the bojan’ (hopefully I remember right :'3) plus Anna (a finnish fan that doesn’t have tumblr) that had made a bracelet saying sunflower ‘auringonkukka’ inspired by the original version of Cha Cha Cha and because I “shine like a sunflower”. I sticked one of my Allas stickers on the bridge next to the venue and later learned that @omppupiiras had put cornpea Kä next to it, although sadly I’ve been told that cornpea Käärijä is gone now. It was also so cool seeing my own art being printed as stickers by @krishoney <333

@hika-chachachan joined our group going to breakfast and we got to play some Uno at the café. (We later learned that had we stayed at the venue we’d seen Häärijä do random stuff behind the gate).

Back in the queue I started regretting having left my sign at home (I had made a sign asking Jere to write ‘Are You’ for a tattoo to match the one I have from Bojan, but I’d left the sign in Denmark since I’d experienced it gave me nothing but trouble when brought it to Böle). Then I noticed some empty pizza boxes so I asked the kääryle next to them if I could borrow the lid and they were more than happy to give it to me when I told them the occasion. Not long after having made my spontaneous new sign was finished, me and @teal-skull went to get some food from the market in front of Allas, where I again got reindeer this time in form of a hotdog (I was too curious).

Jesse had been very active around the queue jumping back and forth over the fence and just before 5 I noticed him standing a bit behind doing his job. I tried to sneakily gift him one of my last stickers yet the moment I had decided to try a security person called for us to form the line so instead of being subtle I ended up skipping to Jesse, giving him a smile and a nod and skipping back in line without another word.

We (me, Skull and Cass) ended up getting second row just in the middle of the stage. Waiting for the concert to start Cass commented that she heard Trafik! Everywhere so we went to Joost’s tiktok where he is known to randomly share his music sometimes out of the blue and a snippet of the song had been released to IG music. That together with Joker Out randomly confirming that Šta Bih Ja (a song we’ve waited and craved since march) would be released next week – made us over the moon excited.

Jessica was right behind us so given I had a bit better of a spot I offered to film Huhhahhei for her with her GoPro. Not far after Käärijä was done performing that song he started “Are You”ing the crowd so I immediately threw my sign in the air an he noticed and jokingly said he’d write it on my ass later. The set today was also amazing, yet it was hard to compete with Backas for me. I must admit that getting Fantastista (a song I never believed I’d be lucky to hear live) was a treat tho.

After the gig I decided to make it my goal to bring my tattoo journey to a homerun looking for Jesse or Häärijä to get my autograph book to Jere (since he had technically been promising me the tattoo now). Yet both times I was able to spot Jesse I wasn’t fast enough – one of those times I had to choose between being rude to @icbimakb that went to talk and to offer stickers or let Jesse go and I chose the latter. At the merch table I was very alert and obviously nervous which Anna (the person that gave me the sunflower bracelet) noticed. They offered to talk with security since they had experience in the tv industry so they knew how to handle security – also they could speak Finnish much better than I can. I gave Anna my book, pen and sign right before the other security started to rush us out, so for a moment I feared I’d lost my book (that already held Bojan’s Are You and cute Backas messages inside) for good. Right before we were tossed out, Anna came back with a signed book, and the people next to me thought I was going to faint (I went into semi shock). Having to calm down me and Anna said goodbye to the others and placed ourselves in front of the fence outside Allas so we were accidentally present when Jere, Häärijä, Jesse and the bodyguard came out waving goodbye at the crowd (my voice was so destroyed all I could do was cheer at him with a sound that wasn’t unlike the chicken at the end of Kot Kot). Anna and I then went together to the central station just talking (amongst other things we agreed to meet up Tuesday since Anna had a Cha Cha Cha beer can she wanted to gift me).

Trinkets from Allas v

My quickly made sign + Jere's handwriting

Official Häärijä shirt

Auringokukka bracelet from Anna (not on tumblr)

Bojere card from Elmi (not on tumblr)

Dalton sticker (not sure who so please let me know if it was you :'D)

Sticker collection from @icbimakb <3

Barry, Koppi Tulles, Rock Rock and Paidaton Riehuja bracelets (not sure who so please let me know if it was you :'D)

Piña Colada and Glöggi bracelets from @hika-chachachan

Toiset Samanleiset sticker from lov.illust (not sure about your tumblr url if you have one)

Hojan, Häärijä and Bojere bracelets (not sure who so please let me know if it was you :'D)

Pokemon card (not sure who so please let me know if it was you :'D)

Kris, Bojan (both my art - printed with permission) and Joker Out sticker by @krishoney

Are You and Are We bracelets from @carpblu

Greatful and The Bojan bracelets from @n3ongold3n (again let me know if this is wrong :'D)

[groenendaelfic]

Verbier and Sex Workers

aka the Twinks? Bears? Asians? Latinos? line is not cute (says I)

One thing I love so much about this fandom is that we can all watch the same show on repeat, and still have completely different and equally valid interpretations of canon.

Case in point my recent fic about Erik’s death not being an accident. I never for a single second considered that, and I am still firmly team Erik likes being Crown Prince and is a bit of a fuckboy, but then I saw and eyeopening post here on Tumblr and rewatched the scenes and now I can see where they’re coming from even if I don’t agree? And that is great.

Something similar happened after I posted my most recent chapter of As Long as We Have Each Other (yes it’s back!) featuring jealous!Simon and talks of Verbier, after which quite a few lovely, lovely commenters pointed out that they never considered my interpretation of the Verbier talk before, and so I thought I might share a bit more about it here for those interested.

Anyway, in the show the scene starts with Wille asking Nils about dating advice, to which Nils replies that Wille is overthinking things followed by an invitation to come to Verbier with him where he'll throw some great parties.

So well so good.

Then however comes the (in)famous What are you into? Twinks? Bears? Asians? Latinos? line and a reassurance that they'll be discreet.

That's not Nils asking Wille if he should try and hook him up with one of his twink, bear, Asian or Latino friends so that he can date one of them instead.

That's him telling Wille that no matter what he's into, it can be arranged, without bringing up some hardcore stuff which might scare him away.

Nils doesn't actually think Wille might be into bears, he's just being, hey, you want a twinky Latino? You can get that in Switzerland, but also any other type of guy you might desire and they'll do whatever you want without causing problems or a scandal.

Sure Nils is going to invite other wealthy, closeted friends around his age to hang out and bond with, not unlike a secret club. In fact he very much wants Wille to start hanging with someone that's his league, but they aren't going to hook up with each other, nor would they be looking for a relationship or love, as that would only complicate things, hence Nils going all You're thinking too much. Stop making it difficult. when Wille brings up serious relationships.

something something sexualizing queer relationships something something internalized homophobia

I do think he wants Wille to be as happy as can be and means well, but he also can't see any of them breaking the status quo. His advice is settle down with a suitable girl if you really must, and bang prostitutes abroad who've signed an NDA and know better than to ever blab to satisfy your sexual needs. That's how it's always been done and that's how it'll always be, and anything else will only cause problems.

Also hiring sex workers in Switzerland is very easy and uncomplicated, be it at a brothel, as an escort or for a private party, the only hindrance being cost, but it's not like that's a factor here.

But Wille is sixteen!

Well yeah, but they'd be going to Switzerland, where the age of consent is sixteen. (So in fact was the age of prostitution until about ten years ago, but they thankfully raised that to eighteen, and while there was talk of raising the age for hiring sex workers a few years ago, as far as I know nothing much ever came of it.)

So yeah, Nils wouldn't be doing anything illegal if he invited a sixteen year old to one of his sex parties in Verbier and let him get drunk as long as Wille stuck to beer or wine or something similar because the drinking age is sixteen as well (18 for harder stuff).

I don't blame anyone who wants to see their talk differently, but I don't think I'll ever be able to see it as anything other than sad (for Nils) and horrifying (for Wille being presented this as his only reasonable future).

Especially if you watch Wilhelm's expression there at the end?

Wille knows exactly what Nils is talking about.

He knows there'll be sex workers present if he goes to Verbier with Nils without Nils having to state that explicitly, because in their circles men having their sexual needs seen to by sex workers and mistresses is something that's always been the norm, no matter the nature of said needs, as long as they do so discretely.

Wille doesn't want that, he wants love and he wants Simon, but he also craves physical touch and intimacy, and if sex workers in Verbier are the only option? Well ... it's something he can consider if he wants to.

I'm not saying he would have gone. I'm pretty much undecided when it comes to that, or at least to him going that particular year, who knows about the future had he not gotten back together with Simon, I'm just saying he understood what was on offer and didn't immediately vehemently say no.

(he said I don't think Mom would be very pleased if it got out)

(Source: my grandmother is Swiss and I still have lots of relatives there I visit regularly, including a cousin who worked in a hotel in Davos for well over a decade and who was there for all the drama that ensued when 16yo sex workers were suddenly no longer legal bleurgh, also like, the news etc)

[xannador]

Have you considered going to Pillowfort?

Long answer down below:

I have been to the Sheezys, the Buzzlys, the Mastodons, etc. These platforms all saw a surge of new activity whenever big sites did something unpopular. But they always quickly died because of mismanagement or users going back to their old haunts due to lack of activity or digital Stockholm syndrome.

From what I have personally seen, a website that was purely created as an alternative to another has little chance of taking off. It it's going to work, it needs to be developed naturally and must fill a different niche. I mean look at Zuckerberg's Threads; died as fast as it blew up. Will Pillowford be any different?

The only alternative that I found with potential was the fediverse (mastodon) because of its decentralized nature. So people could make their own rules. If Jack Dorsey's new dating app Bluesky gets integrated into this system, it might have a chance. Although decentralized communities will be faced with unique challenges of their own (egos being one of the biggest, I think).

Trying to build a new platform right now might be a waste of time anyway because AI is going to completely reshape the Internet as we know it. This new technology is going to send shockwaves across the world akin to those caused by the invention of the Internet itself over 40 years ago. I'm sure most people here are aware of the damage it is doing to artists and writers. You have also likely seen the other insidious applications. Social media is being bombarded with a flood of fake war footage/other AI-generated disinformation. If you posted a video of your own voice online, criminals can feed it into an AI to replicate it and contact your bank in an attempt to get your financial info. You can make anyone who has recorded themselves say and do whatever you want. Children are using AI to make revenge porn of their classmates as a new form of bullying. Politicians are saying things they never said in their lives. Google searches are being poisoned by people who use AI to data scrape news sites to generate nonsensical articles and clickbait. Soon video evidence will no longer be used in court because we won't be able to tell real footage from deep fakes.

50% of the Internet's traffic is now bots. In some cases, websites and forums have been reduced to nothing more than different chatbots talking to each other, with no humans in sight.

I don't think we have to count on government intervention to solve this problem. The Western world could ban all AI tomorrow and other countries that are under no obligation to follow our laws or just don't care would continue to use it to poison the Internet. Pandora's box is open, and there's no closing it now.

Yet I cannot stand an Internet where I post a drawing or comic and the only interactions I get are from bots that are so convincing that I won't be able to tell the difference between them and real people anymore. When all that remains of art platforms are waterfalls of AI sludge where my work is drowned out by a virtually infinite amount of pictures that are generated in a fraction of a second. While I had to spend +40 hours for a visually inferior result.

If that is what I can expect to look forward to, I might as well delete what remains of my Internet presence today. I don't know what to do and I don't know where to go. This is a depressing post. I wish, after the countless hours I spent looking into this problem, I would be able to offer a solution.

All I know for sure is that artists should not remain on "Art/Creative" platforms that deliberately steal their work to feed it to their own AI or sell their data to companies that will. I left Artstation and DeviantArt for those reasons and I want to do the same with Tumblr. It's one thing when social media like Xitter, Tik Tok or Instagram do it, because I expect nothing less from the filth that runs those. But creative platforms have the obligation to, if not protect, at least not sell out their users.

But good luck convincing the entire collective of Tumblr, Artstation, and DeviantArt to leave. Especially when there is no good alternative. The Internet has never been more centralized into a handful of platforms, yet also never been more lonely and scattered. I miss the sense of community we artists used to have.

The truth is that there is nowhere left to run. Because everywhere is the same. You can try using Glaze or Nightshade to protect your work. But I don't know if I trust either of them. I don't trust anything that offers solutions that are 'too good to be true'. And even if take those preemptive measures, what is to stop the tech bros from updating their scrapers to work around Glaze and steal your work anyway? I will admit I don't entirely understand how the technology works so I don't know if this is a legitimate concern. But I'm just wondering if this is going to become some kind of digital arms race between tech bros and artists? Because that is a battle where the artists lose.

[alexanderlightweight]

Hi! Your pinned post (... That's what it's called right?) says if you don't get a prompt on a Wednesday they still count (and I would have waited until next Wednesday to send mine but to be fully honest I have memory issues and will have forgotten I even wanted to send a prompt in two days).

I read your stuff about Ragnor meeting Alec in the sentient shadows verse (which is excellent, by the way) and I loved it so so so much it was incredible so basically my prompt is : bby Alec (in whatever verse you want!) meeting various downworlders and utterly charming them by just being himself (and being oblivious that he's making half the downworld platonically fall in love with him hahaha).

Have a good day ! Days. Week. A good month even!

He’s that’s what it called! I did end up changing that a bit ago because of how many prompts I’m getting but I still take the prompts especially when people don’t know! And tumblr edits are weird, they don’t always show up for people right away.

I hope you like where I went with this prompt! And enjoy!

—

Raphael freezes, because someone is watching him, or something is.

“You’re really pretty.” A soft, childish voice says and Raphael’s unbeating heart forcibly flutters, just so it can stop beating again.

Raphael looks down and to his left and there’s a small child watching him from the shadows.

“You should not be here, mijo.” Raphael murmurs and he doesn’t step closer, instead he inhales and he winces.

Angel blood.

“You need to leave.” Raphael hisses and he shows his fangs, for once hoping that this child will be just as indoctrinated against vampires. That he will be terrified and run.

Instead Raphael gets a genuine, half-startled smile.

“I want fangs.” The child mutters and he pouts, expression exaggerated as he tries to jut out just his canines. He tries to hiss and instead he just makes a sound like a raspberry and Raphael didn’t realize child soldiers could be cute.

It’s a sobering thought.

“Mijo.” Raphael tries, because being mean didn’t work. “It’s not safe here, okay? My leader hates nephilim and loves angel blood.

“Your leader?” The child asks, precocious and daring and not even a little afraid as he walks a little closer. He’s still mostly in the shadows and Raphael half hopes he’ll be a ghost or something and that Raphael’s hallucinating the scent of angel blood.

“Yes, my clan head. We all must listen to her, no one under her authority can protect you from her.” And Raphael has had very few decent experiences with nephilim interference, he'll trust himself far more.

“If she’s bad, why can’t you remove her from authority?”

“We need a reason and proof, little cherub.” Raphael admits, unsure why he’s being so talkative but he figures it’s the fact that the nephilim is a child. A curious, brave, foolish little boy. Perhaps similar to how Raphael himself once was… a very long time ago.

“Does she hurt you?” There’s a moment and a darkness to the soft voice of the child. “It’s not okay if she hurts you. Do you want me to hurt her back, I can make sure she doesn’t hurt you again?”

Raphael stares because when he first saw and smelled a nephilim child, this is not where he thought his day would go.

“Ay, Dios mio.” Raphael murmurs and then he winces when the child perks up and repeats his offer… in Spanish.

“No. No.” Raphael says in English and then Spanish and then in half a dozen different languages until his eye is twitching. Thankfully, it does work but then Raphael is being met with a protective little scowl, one that looks unimpressed.

“You cannot help me, or anyone in my clan.”

“But I’m a shadowhunter, it’s my job to help.” It would sound almost naive, if there weren’t already a small weapon strapped to his thigh. But Raphael knows better, that this small nephilim will not be able to help and he will grow up far more jaded.

“I’m a vampire. You have no reason to interfere in my clan’s dealings.” Raphael reminds him, because it’s important to make that clear. Even if the child is wanting to ignore the laws in order to help him from some strange misguided sense of protection.

“So I need a reason to help you?” The little, unsettling cherub frowns but it looks more like a pout. Raphael is reminded of the children he used to help watch over and he ignores the pain. There’s a glint of calculation and then a tiny, feral smirk. Far too jaded for such a young child and Raphae recognizes the marks of nephilim born better now.

For none of their babes are ever raised truly as children.

“If we get married I could help you.”

“Excuse me?” Raphael asks, wondering if the sun has suddenly comeup.

“You’re really, really pretty. And mother said I’ll need to get married someday anyways. You’re a vampire, you could wait for me since you’re immortal and then I can marry you and help you.”

A minute later Raphael is watching the child — who still hasn’t introduced himself beyond Raphael’s future husband apparently — sketch out what are basically strategy plans.

They’re crude but usable and coherent, all the parts except where a very small half-cherub is trying to marry Raphael.

“Mijo—“ Raphael sighs, “I’m not going to marry you.”

“My mother is really pretty.” The child says with a shrug, “and I’m going to be pretty deadly when I get older. I’ve heard that’s a good combination.”

Raphael curses as quietly as possible — is still overhead and understood — and then he looks down.

A hand is politely tugging on his jacket.

“Is that not enough?”

“Not for me.” Raphael says gently, “all hearts yearn for different things. Mine does not wish for a partner like that.”

“Oh.” There’s a wrinkle of a small nose and then a sigh, “that makes sense. I think you’re the prettiest person I’ve ever seen but they reminded me that we haven’t seen many people.”

Raphael takes that as the platinum lining it is. He’s not sure who ‘they’ are, but for all he knows, invisible friends happen across races.

“So you’ll leave?”

“I’ll leave.” The kid smiles up at him and then his foot scuffs over the dirt in the pothole he was using to draw. “I still like you though. If you ever need help, you can ask for us. If the shadows ever hunt you, then ask for me. Alec Trueblood, Raphael Santiago.”

The kid steps back and smiles, a little hand wave even as Raphael startles.

While he finally has a name… Raphael never offered his own.

Raphael takes a step back, his instincts suddenly screaming and he realizes that he felt nothing around the child. They’re gone, as if they were never there in the first place and Raphael swallows venom as it floods his mouth.

It’s as if the child registered as neither predator nor prey.

Raphae swallows and slides into the shadows and mouths the name, ‘Alec Trueblood’. He doubts he’ll ever have a need, but the child did offer and Raphael will remember it.

Just to be safe.

—

Alec: wow, so pretty. Must marry so can protect

Shadows: there is a big ocean with a much prettier fish that is better for you

Raphael: im allergic to fish. Anything besides blood really but especially relationships

(Apparently in the books canon, baby Alec has a crush on Raphael)

[writing-intheundercroft]

When We're Older || Love

AO3 Link

Word Count: 8,176

Chapter Rating: Explicit (warning: smut, PIV sex, NSFW, MDNI)

A/N: Did a quick poll last week so I'm posting full chapters on tumblr now and will start updating old chapters! Big Theo chapter with some sweet Seb smut in the back half :) as always, thank you to my beta @happyaccidentsonly 🤍

October 1890

It was a sunny Sunday afternoon. Theo could have easily spent the beautiful autumn day with any of her new friends, but she chose to spend every Sunday afternoon with Professor Fig, tucked away in his office. She sat in a giant wingback chair, feet perched beneath her, as he graded essays at his desk. A gramophone in the corner of the room played music, and she had her transfiguration textbook open on her lap. The two worked in a comfortable silence, only stopping whenever Theo had a question or Professor Fig had a funny anecdote.

This afternoon was different; a question gnawed at Theo’s heart.

“Professor, do you know the Sallow twins?” Theo asked, tapping her fingers against the book.

Professor Fig tilted his head, still pouring over a roll of parchment. “The Sallows…ah, yes. Those twins in Slytherin.” He turned to her, pulling his reading glasses off his face. “I’ve heard you’ve become fast friends with the boy, Sebastian.”

Theo nodded, pulling her feet tighter underneath herself. “Yes, we’ve become very close since the start of term. Professor Weasley asked him to take me to Hogsmeade the day of the troll attack.”

“Good thing you had a skilled duelist on your side.” Fig tutted. “I’ve heard he’s a force to be reckoned with. Terrible troublemaker too. Poor Madame Scribner spends most of her evenings with him in detention.” he laughed. “He’s expressed interest in magical theory; I reckon the two of you will be fighting to be top of my class next year.”

Theo smiled. “Yes, I’m quite fond of him. But I was wondering if you ever met Anne, his sister.”

Fig sighed. “No, I haven’t. Poor thing–I heard that curse is still wreaking havoc on her.”

Theo picked at the edges of her book. “I meant to ask you; have you looked into her curse at all? Being the Magical Theory professor, I’m sure they must have consulted you on what’s ailing her.”

Fig nodded, setting down his quill. “I have reviewed her case from Nurse Blainey and the notes from St. Mungo’s, but goblin magic is quite complex, and far beyond any of our understanding. On top of that, her uncle is quite reluctant to have her undergo further testing and examination. The stress of it all wears down on her, and makes the pain worse.” He tilted his head. “I wonder how Anne is faring nowadays.”

“She’s alright.” Theo quipped. Professor Fig gave her an inquisitive look, and her cheeks reddened. “Sebastian invited me on his most recent trip home to Feldcroft,” she admitted. “I was able to meet her there.”

Fig gave her a sly grin. “Should I be worried that a young man invited you home to meet his sister?”

“Professor!” Theo gaped.

Fig held up his hands, laughing. “I only ask, I’ve heard Sebastian is considered quite handsome. I am clued in to all the gossip around the castle, you know. Quite a few young ladies have talked about how close the two of you are…” he trailed off.

“Ew, no!” Theo gagged. “Sebastian is like a brother to me; we’re friends, that’s all.”

Fig gave her a rather curious look. “Theo, I know I’m not your father–”

“Which is a good thing,” Theo reminded him. “You know more than he ever would care to know about me. Especially if you care to know about the boys in my life.”

Fig sighed, shaking his head. “I was going to say, I’m not your father, but if you ever feel like you need someone to talk to, especially about boys–”

“I’m going to stop you there,” Theo snorted, holding her hand up. “I’m fine . Won’t be needing any advice for a very, very long time.”

Fig chuckled. “Thank Merlin for that. I fear advice for teenage romance is outside of my skill set.” He folded his hands together, pursing his lips. “Anyways, you ask about his sister–I know he’s rather determined to figure out a cure for her.”

“He is,” Theo echoed. I’d like to help him, she wanted to say, but Professor Fig wouldn’t be pleased that she’d told Sebastian about her ancient magic. For some reason, Theo had trusted the brunette boy with her deepest secret–something about his warm brown eyes made her feel like he would understand.

“Magical theory teaches us that love is one of the strongest catalysts for magic,” Professor Fig explained. “It’s unexplainable, indescribable. But there have been cases where love itself has cured, protected, revived, of all things…what love can do will amaze you.”

“Just love?” Theo raised her eyebrows. “That’s all?”

“That’s all,” Professor Fig chuckled. He stood, walking over to his bookshelf. Fig tapped his fingers on the spines of several books, stopping at one with a red cover. Taking it off the shelf, he passed it over to Theo.

“ Mysteries of Emotion in Magical Theory ,” Theo read off the cover. She looked up at Professor Fig, who had his usual twinkle in his eye.

“Some light reading to prepare for next year,” he smiled down at her, patting her shoulder. “And I know you worry about your friend and his sister, I’m sure he’ll find a way. Love has a funny way of healing all wounds, don’t you think?”

May 1891

“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” Imelda asked, frowning down at Theo. The rest of the girls were standing at the base of the staircase a few feet away; Violet was impatiently tapping her wrist watch, glaring at the two of them.

Theo shook her head, curling her feet up underneath her on the couch. “I’m okay, I promise. You guys go have fun.” she urged her friend. The girls were going out to Hogsmeade to celebrate Grace’s birthday, but Theo didn’t feel up to celebrating. It had only been a week since her battle with Ranrok, and she knew she’d only ruin Grace’s fun with her moping.

“I can stay,” Imelda reminded her, her voice soft and very much unlike her. “We can study for our OWLs together.”

Theo snorted. “Imelda, you must think the situation is quite dire to offer studying on a Friday night.”

Imelda rolled her eyes. “I’m only worried about you, that’s all.”

“Go,” Theo waved her off. “I’ll be here when you all get back. Merlin knows I’ll have to help hold back Grace’s hair once you all return.”

Imelda gave her a cheeky grin, promising to bring back one of Sirona’s giant chocolate chip cookies for her. Theo watched her roommates depart up the spiral stairs, and once the common room doors shut, she breathed a sigh of relief.

It had been seven days of people primping and fussing over her–first, the professors, hovering over her to make sure she didn’t fall apart in the middle of the hallways. Then it was her peers, all clamoring to understand what exactly had happened underneath the school, and why the strange new fifth year had been there. Finally, it was the ministry, aurors speaking to her like a child, asking how Eleazar Fig had died, and what had happened to both Ranrok and Rookwood.

Frankly, it was all exhausting. She was thankful that Weasley and Ronen had collected her classwork for the week, and that Ominis had done a good enough job of fighting off the peanut gallery, all having their own opinions on the newly dubbed “Hero of Hogwarts”.

Once she was sure the coast was clear, Theo got up, leaving the dorms. She cast a disillusionment charm, walking to the only place in the school that gave her comfort.

She tiptoed from the dungeons to the defense against the dark arts wing, all the way up to the third floor. Without a sound, she slipped into Professor Fig’s classroom and up to his office. Theo fell into her chair in the corner of the room, waving her wand at the gramophone to start playing Fig’s favorite song. She imagined it was the start of the school year again, and they were sitting in his classroom grading papers. In her mind, Professor Fig was alive, sitting at his desk waiting for her to ask him a question.

“Theo?”

She whipped her head to the door, about to yell at the intruder, but her face softened when she saw Sebastian poking his head in. His hair was messy, a cowlick poking up at the back. He too was in his pajamas; lately it seemed that he rarely left his bed or the Undercroft, unless it was for class or dinner. Things had been tense between him and Ominis, and she herself had hardly spoken to him after Fig’s memorial service. She’d wanted to give him time to process the news about Rookwood cursing Anne, but Sebastian had kept to himself for weeks.

“Hi,” she greeted him; it came out as a croak. “What are you doing here?”

Sebastian shut the door behind him, padding over to her in his felt slippers. “I came to see if you were okay,” he murmured. “I overheard Ominis talking with Imelda; they said you’d skipped dinner, and that you weren’t going out with the girls tonight.”

Theo shook her head. “No, I didn’t feel like it.”

Sebastian knelt down in front of her. “I grabbed you a pasty from the kitchen.” he said, pulling out a napkin from his robe pocket. “I figured you might be hungry.”

“How did you know I’d be in here?” Theo asked, her voice shaky.

Sebastian shrugged. “You loved Professor Fig.” His brown eyes met hers. Theo had seen so many things in them over the past few months–anger, envy, despair. And in the month since Solomon’s death and Anne’s departure, she’d seen regret, sadness, and longing. But tonight, as Sebastian looked up at her, she only saw fondness. Only Sebastian would trek all the way to the kitchens to bring her dinner; only Sebastian would know she’d be hiding in Professor Fig’s office.

Lower lip trembling, Theo tumbled from the chair and into Sebastian’s arms. The pasty fell to the floor as Sebastian wrapped his arms around her in an embrace, tucking her into his body.

“I really, really miss him,” Theo’s voice cracked as she buried his face into his shoulder. He smelled warm, like cedar cologne and vanilla cauldron cakes he’d probably nicked from the kitchen.

“I know,” he murmured against her hair as she sobbed. “I know.” He rocked her back and forth, letting her cry against him. Theo’s fingers curled into the collar of his pajama shirt, pulling him close.

Sebastian was the only person who could understand her, Theo thought. True kindred spirits.

September 1891

“You can’t go back from this,” Percival warned her. “Not unless you find another vessel, and given the current state of your relationship with goblinkind, I doubt you’ll find someone to make a repository nearly as strong. It could kill you.”

Theo stood in the map chamber, her hands clasped behind her back as she spoke to the Keepers. All four stood at their portraits, staring down at her in awe as she explained herself.

“I know,” Theo said sternly. “But this power…it’s a mistake to keep it underneath the school. I can feel it at all times, it’s too strong. Someone will always try to take it for themselves, so I want it to die with me.”

“You’re not just doing it for that reason,” San Bakar glared at her. “Your emotions blind you. You think that you’re being noble, but you’re doing it for what you think is love.”

It was love , Theo thought to herself. She’d spent all summer pouring over the book that Professor Fig had gifted her. She’d done even more research, combing through every magical theory textbook she could get her hands on. Theo had done the work, exhausted all options, and she knew she had to open the repository. Besides her main reasoning (she truly did believe it was too dangerous to keep a shoddily patched together repository underneath the castle where all of Britain’s young wizarding talent lived), she had another motivation.

She loved Sebastian. The bond they’d created over the last year was stronger than any friendship she’d ever had in her short life. And by extension, she had to love Anne. She knew Anne felt indifferent towards her, perhaps hated her. But the twins were two halves of a whole, and if Anne died, Sebastian would never be the same.

Only Rookwood and Niamh looked at her with any sort of sympathy.

“Perhaps the girl is right, Percival. It is too dangerous to keep it below Hogwarts.” Rookwood advised. “If history has taught us anything, unbridled power in the wrong hands will be the downfall of wizardkind.”

“She’s a child!” Bakar argued. “Duped by puppy love!”

“It isn’t like that,” Theo said simply. “I know it. I know it in my heart.”

“You believe your love is strong enough to protect you from the effects of this magic, but there’s no way to prove it.” Niamh said softly. “You understand that, don’t you, Theodora?”

Theo nodded. “I do.” she rocked back and forth on her feet. “And I’m willing to accept the consequences.”

Niamh looked at her curiously. “You understand that pain needs to go somewhere. It cannot be contained, at least not safely, as you’ve witnessed. And you’re willing to accept the pain of others out of love?”

“I love this school,” Theo confessed. “I love my friends. I love magic. I love what this strange power has given me. And if it means I live with Isidora’s mistakes in me forever, then so be it.”

“Nor shadow without light,” Niamh reminded her.

“Nor shadow without light.” Theo repeated.

“You do this at your own risk,” Rackham warned her again. “We cannot help you past this.”

Theo smiled up at the Keepers as she descended down the stairs. “See you on the other side,” she declared, walking into the cavern.

When she returned, eyes glowing red, the portraits of the four Keepers were empty. With the magic of the repository surging through her, Theo was beyond their understanding. It seemed they had nothing left to teach her. Perhaps they’d appear again, Theo thought. When another like her came around.

Hopefully, she wouldn’t be a cautionary tale they told the next one.

The next task at hand was a little harder, trying to work without her two best friends realizing her motivations. Sebastian had a tedious but regular schedule, and any time he wasn’t at work he was either by her side or face down on his bed. Theo would’ve thought Ominis would be easier to dupe, but despite his blindness, had a keen awareness of his surroundings.

She had spent two weeks sneaking into the boys’ dormitory daily, rifling through Ominis’s desk for any hint of Anne. She’d almost given up, until she found a scrap of paper hidden under a pile of books.

Keenbridge. Half past noon, Saturday

The script was suspiciously close to Sebastian’s, but slightly neater. It had to be Anne.

That Saturday, Theo followed Ominis from her broom, flying a fair distance above the blond as he traveled to Keenbridge. She watched as he waited, and felt a lump in her throat as she saw Anne Sallow approach him in the hamlet square. Landing her broom to get a closer look, Theo had to hold in her gasp. Anne’s eyes were sullen, big purple dark circles dominating her tired face. She looked thin and frail, as if a hard gust of wind would knock her down. Theo observed the two of them, sitting down to lunch at the hamlet’s pub; Ominis looked worried the entire time as Anne dismissed him. She’d hardly touched her food, only nibbling at bread dipped in soup.

Ominis stayed with her for hours, until Anne assured him she was okay. Once the blond disappeared into the floo flames, Theo reversed her disillusionment charm, making Anne jump.

“Don’t run,” Theo pleaded.

“What are you doing here?” Anne barked. “Did you follow Ominis?”

“I did,” Theo said simply, folding her hands in front of her. “I needed to find you. I know how to help you now. Will you let me?”

Anne looked conflicted at first–but with Theo’s urging, hours of explanation, and a promise that Sebastian wouldn’t know, she let her try out her newly acquired powers.

August 1892

Theo sat in bed, her now tattered copy of Mysteries of Emotion in Magical Theory sitting on her lap.

“Get dressed,” Sebastian urged, walking past the bed for the fifth time. He was wearing trousers, flicking through the wardrobe to find a clean shirt.

“What’s the point, you’re just going to take them off me in an hour anyways,” Theo sighed, flipping the page. The clothes she’d been wearing that morning were strewn around the bedroom.

Sebastian was blushing, but he tried to give her a stern look. “Ominis will be here any moment, and you’re laying in bed naked.”

Theo pouted, and Sebastian walked over to the bed, sitting on the edge. The mattress dipped beneath his weight. “What’s wrong?” he murmured, putting a hand on her waist.

“I just wish we had more time, just the two of us,” Theo whispered. It was Friday, and Theo was due to depart on Tuesday morning. Her stay in Feldcroft so far had been pure bliss, despite the hiccup in having to explain her surge in power to Sebastian. Besides that, the couple had been playing house–fixing up the garden, tending to repairs, reading in bed next to each other until they inevitably began kissing. Theo relished the feeling of sleeping naked next to Sebastian, pretending it was their everyday life. In a few weeks, they’d be back at Hogwarts, where it was impossible to find privacy. And after experiencing the joy of making love, Theo wasn’t sure how she’d survive the year without doing it constantly.

Sebastian gave her an earnest look, his hand trailing from her waist up to cup her breast. Theo bit down as he ran his thumb over her nipple, squeezing her with the palm of his hand. He suddenly withdrew, getting up from the bed. “Get dressed,” he warned her.

Theo narrowed her eyes at him when he tossed her trousers and shirt onto the bed. “Tease,” she grumbled.

“You love me,” Sebastian said coyly.

“Unfortunately, I do.” Theo sighed, rolling out of bed. Despite her grumbling, she couldn’t hide the smile on her face. Things really had turned out for the best, she thought to herself. Theo had worried that expanding their relationship past friendship would change things, affect how she controlled her magic. Much to her surprise, loving him romantically had just expanded her heart, and she’d never felt more in control than ever.

Besides the slip of her power in the bedroom, of course–but Sebastian hadn’t said anything else, and they’d done it plenty of times since.

The two of them started on their chores for the day. Sebastian had been trying to teach Theo how to cook, so Theo worked on the massive pile of burnt dishes in the sink. Sebastian stripped the sheets, hanging the freshly washed ones out on the line to dry. They then moved outdoors, working on bringing Anne’s little garden back to life. They’d just finished replanting a few of the rose bushes, when a loud pop cracked in the air.

“Oops,” Ominis gasped, falling backwards onto the fledgling bushes. “Sorry, I'm still getting used to this.”

“Ominis,” Sebastian roared. “The bloody roses!”

Theo grasped Ominis’s forearm, pulling him up. “Ominis,” she sang, her greeting much kinder. She pulled their best friend into a tight embrace, while Sebastian fussed over the plants.

“I’m sorry,” Ominis laughed. “I’m rubbish at apparition. Barely passed the exam.”

“I don’t know how they could give a blind man a license to apparate,” Sebastian rolled his eyes, throwing an arm around him. “You could’ve used the floo, you know. Would’ve saved me a few sickles on the new plants.”

Ominis rolled his milky blue eyes. “I’ll pay you back, don’t be so stingy.” He wrinkled his nose. “Can we go indoors, or have you two not cleaned out your little love nest? Is it even safe to share a roof with you two?”

Sebastian shoved Ominis back into the plants as the blind boy snickered.

The trio went inside; Theo and Sebastian had pieced together a birthday dinner for Ominis, who politely ate their attempt at a meal. He unboxed their presents to him (muggle books in braille from Theo, and a fresh batch of his favorite dictation quills from Sebastian) and the three tucked into a birthday cake made by Sirona, paired with a bottle of scotch. Ominis endured their pokes about his summer correspondence with Poppy, while he told them all about his sister’s wedding and the many mothers who’d tried to push their daughters onto him. Sebastian roared with laughter at Ominis’s painful description of an afternoon tea with Constance Dagworth that had ended with him being splattered in clotted cream.

The night wore on, with the three of them draining the bottle; Theo yawned as the boys talked on and on.

“Here’s to us, finally adults,” Ominis announced, raising his glass. “And next summer, we’ll be off in the world doing Merlin knows what–but for one last summer, I’d like to remember us as we are.”

“Broke, eating off chipped plates?” Sebastian joked. He slung his arm around Theo, drawing her close. She could smell his cedary cologne, mixed with sweat from the summer heat.

“Together,” Ominis corrected him. “Together, the three of us.”

Theo looked at her two favorite boys, her chest feeling heavy. It wasn’t pain, or anger that caused the pang in her heart as she watched Sebastian and Ominis teasing one another, or a physical malady. It was love–pure, unbridled love for the two people who understood her best. Her eyes felt droopy, and before long, she fell asleep against Sebastian’s shoulder.

The next time Theo opened her eyes, she was laid in the bed. Sebastian must’ve carried her, undressing her and tucking her under the thin sheets. The moonlight shined into the makeshift bedroom, and she would’ve sat up, had it not been for the voices behind the curtain, echoing in from the kitchen.

“I don’t know what it means,” Sebastian said. His voice sounded shaky, uncertain, and wholly unlike him.

“She said she went back?” Ominis asked, his voice quiet and concerned. “She…she broke the repository?”

Theo laid in the bed, eyes pressed shut as she listened to them talk.

“It explains so much. Her eyes…remember when she battered up Astoria Crickett? It was an accident, that’s certain, but she couldn’t control it. And when I found her in the vivarium that day, her magic was flickering red, like I’d never seen before.” Sebastian rambled. “There have been a few other occasions…like her birthday party, when she was yelling at me. I thought her eyes were red from the alcohol, but it must have been the magic.”

“I mean, she seems okay, Sebastian. She must have some control over it–she absorbed everything Ranrok and Rookwood were after, and she’s still here.”

“You didn’t see it,” Sebastian claimed. “Her eyes, before she fell asleep–they were red like fire, Ominis.”

Theo shifted uncomfortably. She hadn’t realized the surge of emotions had flashed in her eyes. She thought she’d gotten rather good at concealing it after all of her research, but she had been feeling so much that week. The first night with Sebastian, sharing a home with him, getting to spend time with Ominis–it had all made her so happy, her heart felt as if it were about to burst.

“We have to trust her, Sebastian.” Ominis muttered. “We don’t know ancient magic like she does. She’s the only one–we need to have faith in her, that she did the right thing.”

Sebastian hesitated. “I don’t know, Ominis. I don’t know if I can.”

Theo flipped over, facing the wall as she tried to tune them out. There was a lump in her throat as she thought of Sebastian’s voice, and the uncertainty behind it.

When she woke the next morning, Sebastian was sleeping next to her, as if the conversation in the kitchen had never happened.

“What do you want to do today?” Sebastian asked, stroking her hair. It was raining, limiting them to indoor activities. Sebastian certainly wasn’t complaining, and neither was Theo; the two of them were still in bed, well past noon.

Ominis had left the evening prior, hesitantly admitting he was off to visit Anne before the summer ended. Theo hadn’t missed the way Sebastian’s eye twitched, or that he’d needed to take a lengthy walk alone afterwards. He’d been quiet after dinner, the two of them falling asleep while reading their books next to each other in bed.

“Lay in bed with you forever,” Theo announced, pressing her cheek against his bare chest. “I can’t believe the week is over,” she grumbled.

Sebastian wrapped his arms tighter around her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. They laid together in silence for a few more moments, until he cleared his throat.

“I was thinking,” he hummed. “About what you’d said. About your magic.”

Theo turned her head, propping her chin up on his chest. “What about it?” she asked softly.

Sebastian wasn’t looking at her; he stared ahead, blankly at the wall. “I was thinking about something I’d read in the restricted section a while back. Substitutes for goblin metal, or spells that could imbibe enough power into regular silver. It wouldn’t make it nearly as powerful, but I don’t think it could hurt to look into it again.”

“What for?” Theo bit down on her lower lip, knowing in her heart where Sebastian was going.

“For the magic,” Sebastian huffed. “We need to figure out how to get it out of you.”

“Sebastian, stop.” Theo sat up, gently resting a hand on Sebastian’s chest. “Stop.”

“I know you and Ominis made me promise not to look into the dark arts again,” Sebastian trailed off, ignoring her, “But I distinctly remember a spell in Secrets of the Darkest Arts talking about transferring protective properties–”

“Sebastian,” Theo gasped. “Absolutely not.”

He finally looked at her in the eyes, a frown set deeply upon his face. “Theo, you could be in danger. You don’t know what prolonged exposure to that magic could do to you–”

“I’m not asking you to help me,” Theo huffed. “I made a decision, I did something, that’s the end of it. I’m fine, Sebastian. I wouldn’t be sitting here with you if I wasn’t, would I?”

Sebastian rose, sliding off the bed to pace back and forth. “Theo, I’m the one who put it in your head to learn Isidora’s magic, but I didn’t ask you to absorb it,” he ranted. “It’s my fault. You did this, and now I have to help you fix it.”

Theo pulled her knees to her chest, her cotton nightgown catching against her knees. “Seb, I’m not asking you to fix me.” she said firmly. “Leave it alone.”

“No!” he bellowed. “Why don’t you understand?” he stood in place, his hands pressed into tight fists. “I can’t let you!”

“Let me?” She scoffed. “Who says you have any control over me?” Theo felt anger bubbling in her throat. “You don’t have a say in this, Seb. Guess I understand how Anne felt, after all.” she snarled. The second the words tumbled out of her mouth, she regretted them. Her hands flew up to her lips, covering them.

Sebastian stared at her, mouth agape. “That was cruel, Theo.” he said sharply. “That wasn’t you. How would Professor Fig feel if he knew what you’ve done?”

“You don’t get to talk about him like that,” Theo scowled, sliding off the bed to face him. “You don’t know him.”

“And you don’t get to use Anne against me,” Sebastian snapped, his freckled face twisted in anger. “You don’t know her either.”

He was wrong, Theo thought, clenching her jaw. She knew Anne–she knew a side of Anne Sebastian would never get to know. Theo had spent nearly the past year meeting with Anne monthly, healing her as much as she could. Theo was absorbing her physical pain in short spurts, now a human receptacle for Isidora Morganach’s power, and the only thing protecting her from harm was love.

A love, that at that very moment, was being put through its first test.

“Sebastian,” Theo’s voice faltered. “I don’t want to fight with you. I love you.”

Sebastian’s eyes were glistening; he fell to his knees in front of her, pressing his face against her stomach. “Theo, I’ve already lost everything else I love in this world. I can’t lose you too.” he whimpered. “Please, let me help you.”

Theo looked down at him, stroking his hair. She didn’t need his help–she didn’t want it. But she also couldn’t bear the sadness in his eyes, or the way his lips were trembling.

“Okay,” she said softly. “But no dark magic.” He opened his mouth to argue, but she gave him a stern look.

“Professor Fig had some ideas,” Theo lied. “About how Magical Theory could help me with my ancient magic. Perhaps we can start there.”

Sebastian pursed his lips; she could almost sense the wheels turning in his mind. He had always been interested in magical theory, and she remembered how Professor Fig had called Sebastian a force to be reckoned with. He’d been determined to help Anne, and Theo knew he’d stop at nothing to aid her.

“No dark magic,” He echoed. “Fine.”

Theo leaned down, pressing her trembling lips against his. She feared Sebastian’s one track mind was already casting off his other responsibilities, focusing only on her. How could she possibly explain that the solution was just love? There was no logic, no firm study to explain what was going on inside of Theo, and Sebastian had already fallen down the slippery slope once before.

“I’m sorry,” Sebastian sighed, pressing a kiss to her stomach. He looked up at her, his sweet brown eyes filled with regret. “Can we go back to bed?”

It was their last day together before term started, and Theo didn’t want to waste it pondering how she could throw Sebastian off from his new quest. So, she tugged him up to his feet, tangling her hands in his hair.

“Let’s go back to bed.”

September 1898

“You blithering idiots,” Theo rolled her eyes, putting her hands on her hips.

They were back in Ominis and Sebastian’s shared flat; both men sat on the small loveseat. Sebastian was holding a wet rag to the scrape on his arm, while Ominis sipped on a wiggenweld. The two looked disheveled, shirts and waistcoats torn after wrestling one another in the front drive of Caulfield Manor. Leander and the Hobhouses departed quickly once the boys hit the ground, and Theo had riskily apparated the pair back to the flat once she’d ensured no muggles were around to see them disappear. Upon their return, she’d forced the boys into the couch, pulling out the singular wiggenweld vial she kept stowed on her. It was her day off; she hadn’t been expecting to need more than one healing potion on hand.

“You didn’t have to punch me,” Sebastian grumbled, pressing the rag down harder.

“I had to make it look convincing,” Ominis argued. His lip had been split, but the wiggenweld was working its magic to thread his skin back together. “How did you not know?”

“How did you not mention it once I got home?” Sebastian barked. “I maybe would’ve opened with, ‘good to see you, hope you don’t mind I’m pretending to have cuckolded you to all of society’?” he said sarcastically.

“First of all, she’s not your wife yet,” Ominis pointed out. “So technically, even if I did start courting her, I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Can you two stop arguing?” Theo pinched the bridge of her nose. “Sebastian, we both wrote you letters, telling you all about the plan. You didn’t receive either of them?”

“I didn’t, I swear!” Sebastian yelped, wrinkling his nose. “Can someone pass me a wiggenweld already?”

“They’re still brewing,” Theo said impatiently, glancing over to the kitchen. “You never miss our letters, I don’t know what happened.”

Sebastian opened his mouth to argue, then shut it quickly. She could see the blush rising on his cheeks as he adjusted his jaw. Even after being apart for three years, Theo knew exactly when Sebastian was deep in thought, the cogs turning in his head.

“What?” she demanded. “What is it?”

“Er, there was a week we didn’t get any letters in July.” Sebastian said sheepishly. “A manticore destroyed the postal carriage.”

“We wrote to you in July,” Ominis groaned. “After my birthday and Leander’s engagement party.”

“Oh.” Sebastian quipped. “Guess that makes sense then.”

The trio stared at each other for a full minute, taking in the full situation. It was Ominis who broke the silence first, a groan turning into a chuckle. Theo began giggling, and then Sebastian doubled over with laughter. Before long, the three were clutching their stomachs, tears at their eyes.

“You tackled me,” Ominis laughed. “You arse.”

“You suckerpunched me!” Sebastian cackled. “I didn’t know you had it in you.”

“Merlin, you should’ve seen the look on Duncan’s face.” Theo gasped, holding a hand to her waist to steady herself. “Leander couldn’t have gotten them out of there fast enough.”

Ominis winced, kicking off his shoes. “I swear there’s gravel in my shoes.” The blond fell back against the settee, a smile plastered on his face. “Should I cancel the dinner, then?”

“Dinner?” Sebastian perked up, wincing as he clutched the rag to his scrape.

“I planned a welcome dinner,” Ominis explained. “Invited all our friends to greet you now that you’re back. Thought it would be nice after you saw Theo to see everyone else.”

Theo felt a lump in her throat as she looked at her boys; they were together again, and her heart felt as if it was going to explode. She turned around, eyes shut tightly with a hand over her chest, to calm herself.

Home. Sebastian was home. And Ominis, the sweetest boy she’d ever known, had tried to surprise them by getting their friends all together again. She kept her eyes shut, running her fingers over the silver chain around her neck to bring her back to earth.

“I think the wiggenweld should be done,” Theo said, opening her eyes once she’d calmed down. Striding over to the kitchen, she scooped some of the green liquid into a vial. Her fingers trembled as she carried it back into the living room, handing it to Sebastian. Their fingers touched as she passed it, his eyes flitting up to meet hers at the exchange.

“I’ll reschedule,” Ominis said, standing from the settee. “I think you two need some proper time to…catch up.” he smirked.

“Thanks Om,” Sebastian said breathlessly. He too stood, setting the vial down on the side table. “I feel much better now.” his voice was soft, hand trailing down to touch Theo’s. She bit down on her lip when his long fingers tangled with hers. Just feeling him, his skin on hers after three years apart, was enough to drive her mad.

“You two behave,” Ominis yelled lazily. “I’ll be going out in a bit–I certainly hope you won’t be here when I get back.”

Once Ominis’s bedroom door had shut, Theo’s head snapped up to Sebastian. He grinned down at her; even after all the time that had passed, he still had a boyish grin.

“Show me your house?” Sebastian said shyly. “I…I saw your dressing room, but I’d like to see the whole place.”

Theo wasted no time grabbing his hand, tugging him towards the gilded mirror that held a passageway to her dressing room. She could hear Sebastian chuckling, but she knew he was just as eager to follow her. They passed through the liquid glass, stumbling into Theo’s messy dressing room.

“If I had known you were coming home, I would’ve cleaned.” Theo admitted, leaning against her dressing table.

Sebastian leaned against one of her wardrobes, feeling a gown between his fingertips. “But it wouldn’t be you,” he smiled. “This…the messy dressing room, boots on the floor, it’s you. Just like I remember you.” He walked towards her, closing the distance between them. Theo felt her chest rise up and down as she looked up at her Sebastian, whose gaze was fixed on her neck.

“Is that what I think it is?” he asked quietly.

Theo nodded, pulling the chain out from underneath her chemise. The chain fell against the fabric of her dress, a ring falling against her bodice. Sebastian quickly pulled it into his fingers, examining it–a thick gold band with an emerald center, diamonds clustered around it.

“I’ve worn it every day,” Theo confessed. “Every day since you left.”

Sebastian let out a guttural groan, leaning forward to press his lips against hers. Theo threw her arms around his neck, pulling him in tight. She whimpered into his lips as he pulled the pins out of her hair, letting it fall loose.

“I missed you so damn much,” Sebastian gasped against her mouth.

“Show me,” Theo demanded.

The pair bounced off the dressing table (likely knocking over quite a few of her jewelry boxes, but that was fine) and knocked into the changing screen. Sebastian laughed against her mouth as it fell to the floor.

“You’re going to destroy my dressing room,” Theo complained, her mouth falling open as Sebastian pressed hot kisses against the column of her throat.

“I’ll destroy this whole damn house,” Sebastian growled. “To get you naked.”

She grinned, tangling her hands in his hair as she kissed him. Sebastian was trying his best to tug her blue blouse out of her skirts, eventually resorting to ripping it. She shivered, thinking about how strong he’d become.

“This is a new dress,” she gasped against his mouth.

“I’ll buy you a new one,” he huffed. “I can do that now.” His eyes darkened, and his hands tore at the buttons fastening her skirt. The pretty thin fabric tore easily in his hands, falling to the floor. Sebastian started to work on the laces of her corset, his lips sucking marks into her neck.

Two could play at that game, Theo thought. She ripped the buttons of his waistcoat, and tugged his dirt stained shirt. She could feel the hard planes of his chest beneath the fabric; he’d always been solid, but Sebastian had become chiseled during his years away from London. Theo stripped the shirt from his body, eyes raking over his freckled chest and tanned defined abs.

“I…I’m not going to be gentle,” Sebastian warned, his voice strained as he finally finished unlacing her corset. It fell to the side, and he gripped her breast, shutting his eyes as he felt the weight of her in his palm. “It’s been too long.”

Theo cupped his straining arousal through his trousers. “I know,” she murmured, pressing a kiss to his chest. “We have the rest of our lives to be gentle, don’t we?”

“Fuck, Theo,” Sebastian rasped. He pulled her up, tugging her over to the chaise. She bounced as she landed, laughing as Sebastian tore through her petticoats. The laugh turned into a gasp as two fingers slid into her core without warning.

“So wet already,” Sebastian grinned down at her, his brunette hair falling against his forehead. He shifted himself up, tugging his trousers down past his hips. Theo couldn’t stop staring at him as he stroked his length, preparing himself. “Are you ready for me?”

As if it were natural instinct, Theo’s legs opened for him, her hands pulling the remnants of her petticoats out of the way for him. He leaned into her, pressing the weeping tip against her core. Despite the heat of the moment, Sebastian hesitated, sweet brown eyes staring into hers for permission.

“Have been, for the past three years,” she sighed.

Sebastian moaned as he pressed into her; there was no softness, just urgency as he buried himself in her. Theo let out a cry, wrapping her legs around his waist as he started rutting into her. It had been so long since their last encounter, the last time they’d made love–but Sebastian felt perfect inside her. Nothing had changed; he still felt just as good, just as full as she’d remembered.

“I missed you so much,” Sebastian grunted, forehead pressed against her breasts. “I missed you, I missed fucking you, I missed all of you.” Theo’s head fell back against the chaise as he pressed his lips against her nipple, biting softly as he drove himself into her. Without a second thought, she pushed him upwards. Sebastian knew her better than anyone, and exactly what she’d wanted. He fell back against the cushions, letting Theo crawl onto his lap. The look on his face as she sank onto his length was rewarding.

“Tell me you thought of me,” Theo gasped, hands raking up and down his chest as she ground her hips against him. “How often?”

“Every damn day,” Sebastian groaned, gripping her hips. “I never stopped.”

“You love me,” Theo reminded him, her hand trailing up to his throat. She pressed lightly, picking up speed.

“I do love you. I’ve loved you for so long,” Sebastian gritted his teeth, eyes shut as he relished the feeling of her.

“I’m never letting you out of my sight again,” Theo moaned. One of Sebastian’s hands went from her hips to her hair, tugging it lightly. “You’re mine. Mine, mine, mine .” She fell against his chest, pressing kisses against his face as she claimed him.

Sebastian rolled them over, pressing Theo back into the chaise. His beautiful brown eyes stared into hers as his thrusts started to stutter.

“I’m yours,” he whimpered. “Always have been, always will.” He pressed his forehead against hers, letting out a breathy laugh. “I’m going to–gods, I’m so close–”

“Wait, you can’t,” Theo gasped. “I’m not…I don’t have any potions…”

“Should I stop?” Sebastian hesitated.

“Don’t stop,” Theo bit her lip. “Finish wherever.”

“Are–are you sure?” Sebastian choked.

“I want you to,” Theo smiled up at him. She let out a gasp when he suddenly pulled out, and again when she felt his warm release against her stomach. Sebastian collapsed against her, not caring about the mess, and pressed kisses against her jaw.

“M’sorry.” he groaned. “Got carried away.”

“This is why you should’ve told me you were coming home,” Theo tugged on his hair, forcing him to look up at her. No matter how old they got, Sebastian still had the same boyish grin he’d had since their years at Hogwarts. “I would’ve been prepared.”

“I knew I should've told you,” Sebastian propped himself up. “I should’ve known I would bungle it.” His hands flew up to the chain around her neck, fingering the little golden ring at the end. “I can’t wait for you to wear this,” he said softly. “For real, this time.”

“You’ll have to ask again,” Theo grinned. “I quite enjoy it when you do.”

“Third time's the charm, I suppose.” Sebastian bit down on his lip as he let go of the ring, his hands trailing back down her body. They disappeared underneath her torn petticoats, and Theo shuddered when he pressed against her core.

“What are you doing?” she gasped.

He tilted his head at her, smiling devilishly. “You didn’t finish,” he said. “I remember your body, Theodora Caulfield. I remember everything about you.” Sebastian’s voice became a hushed whisper as he tugged her body, lowering his face to press kisses against her knee. “I remember you.”

Theo smiled, letting her arms fall above her head as Sebastian dove in between her thighs.

“We should go to the bedroom,” Theo said softly.

She and Sebastian had spent hours in her dressing room, making a proper mess. Her changing screen was still on the ground, the contents of her desk and dressing table strewn across the floor. One of the wardrobes was flung open, clothes spilling out. Both Theo and Sebastian were completely naked, what little remained of their clothing left in shreds on the floor. They’d spent the rest of the afternoon, well into evening properly reacquainting one another with their bodies, and destroying Theo’s dressing room while they were at it.

“Just a few more moments,” Sebastian whispered into her hair, tugging her in tighter. “What a way to welcome me home.”

“Probably a good thing Om canceled dinner,” Theo chuckled as she ran her fingers up and down his back. “We would’ve been a mess.”

“Y’know, besides the whole pretending to court my woman thing, Ominis is the most loyal friend I’ve ever had.” Sebastian claimed.

“Not me?” Theo pouted.

Sebastian propped his chin up on her chest. “You and I haven’t been just friends in a very, very long time.” He jested, his hand tracing a line down her stomach. “First thing tomorrow, I’m taking you to buy a new dress. Secondly, we’re going to the potions shop. Or maybe we should reverse that order…”

She snorted. “Seb, you don’t have to, I have plenty of clothes.”

He sat up; the lower half of his body had been haphazardly covered with one of Theo’s cloaks, ripped from the closet to be a makeshift blanket. “I’m serious, Theo.” Sebastian cooed. “I can take care of you now. Come on, let’s get to bed.”

Theo swallowed thickly as Sebastian stood, gently helping her up. She felt woozy on her feet, so he supported her into the bathroom. Wands long discarded, somewhere in the mess of her dressing room, Sebastian drew them a bath. Even though he’d never been in her house before, he somehow knew where she kept everything–the lavender bath salts, which reminded her of the night they first kissed in the prefect’s pool, and the clip to keep up her hair, which she always left on the floor next to the tub. They slid into the tub together, her back pressed to his, and finally caught up on everything they should’ve talked about.

Theo brought up how Imelda, Natty, and Poppy were the only ones to know about the ruse between her and Ominis, and how Anne was annoyed by it. She talked about how she’d bet ten galleons with Garreth Weasley to see if she could convince Leander to grow out a mustache, and had been successful. Theo told him as much as she could about her work without breaking the rules (which was hardly anything at all) and about how her assistant had most certainly read some of Sebastian’s more scandalous letters.

Sebastian told her all about Cairo, and how Eddy the goblin had somehow become his best friend. He talked about his little studio apartment at the top of the stairs, and how he nicked all of the copies of Witch Weekly from the sitting room, just to see if Theo’s picture was in them. He pressed a kiss to her head when he told her that the photo she’d sent him, the one with a flower in her hair, was folded up in his wallet at that moment.

It was like they’d slipped back into their routine, their nightly regimen to prepare for bed from before Sebastian’s departure years earlier. Sebastian drained the tub while Theo fluffed the sheets, sliding underneath thin cotton layers. She let out a whine as Sebastian walked past the bed, a towel slung low on his hips.

“I’m only going back to my room to get pajamas,” he laughed.

Theo huffed. “What’s the point, when I’m only going to take them off you in an hour anyways?” she teased.

Sebastian rolled his eyes, but his blush betrayed his feelings. He scampered over to the bed, tossing the towel to the floor as he slid underneath the sheets. Theo felt as if her heart were going to burst as she felt his breath on her neck. She shut her eyes, gulping down the emotions that threatened to spill out of her.

“What are you doing?” Sebastian asked quietly.

“I–I’m just feeling a lot right now,” Theo confessed, her eyes still shut. “I didn’t want you to see–”

“Open them,” Sebastian urged.

Theo opened her eyes; she knew they were fiery red. They glowed whenever she felt a strong surge of emotions, even though many years had passed since she’d opened the repository.

“Is it terrible?” she asked. She remembered when they were younger, how Sebastian had almost seemed scared of her power.

“No,” Sebastian whispered, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “It’s love.”

[plutorine]

Thoughts on Demons (2014)

this was originally going to be part of my demons (2014) thread on my twitter, but i'll just be dumping my thoughts about the series here on tumblr. i'll continue where i left off from where i closed the thread.

spoilers below the cut. there will be triggering content as well (suicide, mention of blood). don't expect this to be coherent. also i haven't read the book yet (oooh when i tell you about how desperate i am in getting a copy here in the PH), so yeah.

long read ahead.

okay. the last scene i watched last night was liza nikolaevna (and mavriky) getting beaten by the townspeople after the death of the lebyadkins due to her connection to stavrogin (and stavrogin being the main suspect of the siblings' death). did they really have to beat the poor girl? why must a woman (yet again) suffer from the misdeeds of a man HGKJDGFJGHDK

also pyotr,,, maniacally dancing in the pig pen....

man. the whole thing about shatov finally getting the chance to be a father and live with a family of his own only to be shot in the head by pyotr is just. :((( my jaw was on the floor i tell you. i was devastated and utterly wrecked.

the thing with demons (2014) is that it's on a different level of insanity than, say, c&p. c&p is depressing. demons wrecked me from start to finish. i cannot stress how many times the hairs on the back of my head stood up whenever pyotr would manipulate and rope in stavrogin in his plans.

it has the vibes of like,, trying so desperately to wash off blood from your hands but the blood just "magically" keeps on getting redder and redder and it doesn't really come off

also what the fuck was that pyotr??? mans just shot shatov in point-blank range and has the audacity to eat chicken (without washing his hands, to boot)??? like OH you going to HELL hell.

this scene with kirillov's lines:

i mentioned in the thread that i had to brush up on russian history before i read/watch demons because otherwise, it would just completely fly over my head

it was pretty interesting watching how this movement that pyotr was trying to mobilize fit the existing narrative then within the context of 19th century russian politics; demons was essentially dostoevsky "warning" of what could possibly be if people who thought like verkhovensky would get the upper hand in deciding the course of the russia's future

i admit i can't really speak about this because well, i'm not russian, but i deeply appreciate the how dostoevsky was able to weave all of this in his novel in such a way that leaves even me, a foreigner, in deep thought about what the implications of such an ideology would have on a wider context outside its country of origin

ok kirillov wtf HAHAHAHAHA ang gago niya XD

stavrogin's confession.

VILE. stavrogin you VILE, VILE, MAN. i don't have any words for it at all. raskolnikov ends up looking like a saint when i put him next to stavrogin.

on another note maksim matveev's teary-eyed face in that scene is so fucking beautiful i almost cried along with him

i seriously want to ask dostoevsky why he insists on making beautiful the characters that we're supposed to dislike/critique

heck even that notion warrants much introspection

like he's about to k-word himself but he still looks so hot? okay i need to stfu

i like the bit here with tikhon talking about revolutions and such:

this reminds me very much of my country's very own EDSA Revolution (there's EDSA Uno and Dos, but I'm talking more about EDSA Uno here because it's probably more relevant to the political state of my country rn). i won't go into depth about it, but you can check the wiki of it to get an idea of what i mean.

(they can be *gets shot*)

the ending scene. okay.

i talked about this w my twt moot and according to her, the most accepted theory is that the kid there (with dasha) is stavrogin's, and verkhovensky's reaction to seeing them there was like him getting the idea to continue his failed twisted plan, but with the kid in the place of his father. just. what the fuck man. leave that kid alone.

i was also told that this scene wasn't really in the book? yeah. so there's that.

concluding thoughts:

at this point i'm quite used to ruslit plots wrecking my mental state and subjecting me to emotions that make me want to stare at a wall, so this experience with watching demons (2014) was not as jarring as i feared it to be XD as expected, there were really some scenes that left me like "huh??? 🤨🤨", but really that's because i haven't read the book. what i plan to do is once i get the book, i'm gonna read it as i revisit the series.

also maksim matveev? yeah. that man is HOT hot. i could stare at his stavrogin all day if i could.

that's it for me! thank you to everyone who engaged with the thread, it made the experience of watching demons (2014) more enjoyable.

my next target watch on the dostoevsky adaptation list is the italian tbk film!! that or the 1968 russian one. will definitely make a live commentary thread about either on twitter as well.

[lightwise]

Ahsoka Show Episode 2 - Spoilers/Thoughts

Okay, now for episode 2 thoughts. (I've posted my reaction to *that* moment at the end of episode 1, and it's resulting consequences in this episode, in another post).

SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT! DO NOT SCROLL IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED THE EPISODE YET! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Okay, I ranted about my dislike for Sabine's injury here. Moving on.

Literal chaos child. Sabine is the natural successor of the disaster lineage force sensitivity or not lolol. "I uh, I unlocked the map. And then lost it. And then lost all my backups. But everything's fine I swear!" Anakin would be proud.

I gotta say it, Baylon's ship makes me think of the Marauder just a bit.

I am loving these nightsister temples. So cool. Very Celtic/stone circle/mapping the planets and stars vibes.

Ahsoka trying to trace the fight between Shin and Sabine almost felt like she had some Psychometry skills ala Quinlan Voss going on??

AHSOKA PET THE DANG LOTHCAT. YOU MUST PAY TRIBUTE BEFORE ENTERING THE ABODE.

Love that she's so calm feeling that droid coming down behind her before taking it out.

Huyang vs Hera as Sabine almost blows them all to pieces...gotta love it. I need to see Tech and Huyang hanging out together. They would either be besties or drive each other insane.

I really love the practical effects of all the droid and machine builds in this show. It feels even more detailed and realistic than props in Mando.

Hera just still doesn't quite feel like Hera to me :/ And it's not MEW's fault at all. It feels like costuming and dialogue choices. Love her talk with Sabine though. I'm fascinated to know what viewers who have never seen Rebels are thinking of these scenes, bc they have no idea the backstory behind these two and the mother/daughter, older sister/younger sister nature of their relationship.

The CGI here is absolutely gorgeous when Morgan opens the star map. I also love how it is much more extensive and detailed than what Sabine was able to get. And the hint of green nightsister magic!

It will be really interesting to see if she's referring to the Chiss homeworld, the Yuuzhan Vong, or something else by "other galaxy".

I really want to see more of Baylon and Shin's history. She is attached to his every word and obeys his commands very seriously. How did he come to take her on as his padawan? When did he find her? What made him abandon the Jedi order (did he have doubts before the Clone Wars? Or just found a way to survive after?) So many questionssss.

Ahsoka and Hera, on the detective trail. Love it. When this series was announced, long before it was apparent that it would be Rebels season 5, I had hoped it would be Ahsoka hopping around the galaxy solving mysteries. This is fun to see.

Guys. I am trying SO HARD to not fall down the "imperial remnants and new republic politics as the galaxy tries to rebuild" rabbit hole that my brain eagerly wants to fall down whenever they start bringing up these dynamics. I was almost losing my mind during the Dr. Pershing episode in Mando season 3, and this is whetting my appetite again. Idk if I will someday need to write fanfiction about this or copious amounts of tumblr posts, but you have been warned. Star Wars and politics and the navigation of the collapse of empire and the redistribution of status and wealth and goods and the devious ways that can all quickly start to fall apart...okay I'll stop myself. When we get to the Mon Mothma episode...heaven help me.

Again, the subtle facial expressions in this show are so good. Not all of the dialogue is escaping cheesiness, but the facial expressions are conveying a wealth of emotions that is backing and grounding each line of dialogue.

This scene. THIS SCENE. Okay, I promised I would talk about Sabine's Jedi training and supposed Force sensitivity that we all have been wondering about since the trailers. I was not thrilled about the idea of Sabine being retconned to be force-sensitive. There's no hint of it in Rebels, and it would feel like a shocking contrast to her lineage as a Mandalorian if it wasn't handled properly. That said, I went into it with a relatively open mind, and have not been overly bothered (more just confused and wanting the backstory) on her and Ahsoka all of a sudden having this master/apprentice relationship that has taken place off screen and that obviously did not go well. Sabine has trained with lightsabers before (the Darksaber and Ezra's lightsaber), and it did make sense to me that she could want to know how to use it more effectively and want to be closer to the practices of what made Ezra who he is in his absence. Why Ahsoka would have agreed to train her...that I am unclear on. I wonder if her failure in that also contributed to her telling Din that she couldn't train Grogu. Anyway, all of this has been a "what the heck are you up to Dave," but I haven't hated it.

All that said, I didn't really want Sabine to be Force sensitive bc I also hate when Star Wars, or Star Wars fans, try to make everyone have latent force abilities in ways that feel like a cop out, like it's the only explanation for a character being cool, or having value, or tying into the plot (I am not trying to call out anyone in particular here, just the concept). Star Wars is not only about Jedi, and while it is almost always about the Force, that doesn't always happen in the highly specialized, exclusive ways we see from force users like the Jedi and the Sith. So, I was hoping, let's see Sabine trying to tap into the fact that the Force is inside everyone, but not everyone can access it to the same capability. Let's see her trying to gain certain skills and practice a way of existing in the world that goes beyond some fancy lightsaber moves and meditation rituals. Let's see a Mandalorian who already has a distinct and powerful way of fighting and philosophy in the world, attempt to mold it with another, almost opposite, approach. And I think that's what we are getting! (maybe this should have been it's own post, oops).

Huyang's no nonsense talk to Sabine is exactly what she needs to hear. For all his sass and directness, he doesn't lack compassion in how he chooses his words with her. And yet he also isn't afraid to eviscerate her (lack of) Force abilities with the most Jedi worthy burn I've ever heard "your skills would fall short of them all." He's been around for 2500 years. I don't think Sabine is force sensitive ya'll. At least not in a conventional way. And yet, Huyang, who has been the keeper of lightsabers and Jedi youngling training for generations, is not at all discouraging her from applying herself to try. His tone is exceedingly gentle with the words "the only time you are wasting, is your own." Is it possible to marry a droid? Pretty sure he's husband material lol.

Also his hands look like medieval gauntlets. So cool. They outdid themselves on the practical effects here.

Star Wars has Solid State Drives?? (Sorry the SSD reference was kind of funny).

Alright, Ahsoka against a droid and a former Inquisitor. Easy peasy.

Hera and Chopper (who looks FANTASTIC btw, there is no distinction between Choppper animation and Chopper live action LOL), in the Phantom and their dialogue back and forth was perfection.

That lil force push and lil backflip midair and lil shoulder turn to miss the lightsaber from behind 👀 please more force usage from Ahsoka! In her own show!

Very interested to learn more about Marrok too. Their stunt actor is really good.

Girlie is pulling out the Mando armor. We're getting serious now.

"It's not loyalty. It's greed."

I liked Sabine's part in this recreation of the end of Rebels, but I didn't really love the retcon on Ahsoka's. Where is her staff? Why is her cloak a different color? Where is Morai? It just fell kind of flat for me. Like the live action hasn't earned the emotional gravitas and hope that this scene held in Rebels. Again Dave, really fascinated to see where you're going with all this.

Finally, Ahsoka's ship is cool. I would travel around the galaxy with her for sure. And, the unique way that holograms show up on Morgan's ship is very, very cool. Can't wait to see what next week holds!

[dayswritting]

"There she goes"

Chapter 1. The one with the library meet cute.

Bob Floyd x Teacher! OC

Summary: Lucy's first encounter with the man with beautiful cobalt eyes.

Word count: 2,4 k

Warning: Bad spelling (English is not my first language), fluff, Bob being gentleman, Rooster's menace daughter.

Author's note: Hey everyone! So, this is my first time posting here on Tumblr. I hope you enjoy this story as much as I did while writing it. See you in the next chapter.

Masterlist

With Sienna Bradshaw's eighth birthday right around the corner and Bradley getting a call to Top Gun again. The three musketeers would be together for a while. Since her sister’s death, Lucy knew how much it meant for her niece to have a family so she tried to make everything as smooth as possible. Even if that meant moving to a house closer to the base so father and daughter could be together.

People around the town talked about her and Bradley’s relationship. People talked about how difficult must be for a widowed man and his sister-in-law to decide to raise their long-lost older sister. And how inconvenient their family was. But they weren’t alone, Lucy’s family was always there for them and they were thankful for that. Especially Bradley since he came from having no one to have the biggest family that he ever imagined.

Today Bradley was coming back and his daughter wanted to pick him up. And Lucy couldn’t say no to her niece. So early on a Saturday, they had breakfast and got dressed to pick up her annoying best friend from the airport. The day before she and Sienna prepared a list of things to do when her dad came back. Even Lucy’s mom prepared food for them so they didn’t need to worry about cooking that weekend.

“Sienna, honey” Lucy called her nice “Can you fetch me your bag? I need the books we borrowed from the library. We need to return them today before going for your dad at the airport.” She heard Sienna’s footsteps coming down the stairs with the backpack on her hands and messy hair all over her face.

“Oh Bumblebee” Lucy picked her up and sat her in an aisle chair.”What hairstyle would you like today, my princess”

“Two pigtails, please,” Sienna answered enthusiastically. While Lucy did her hair, the blonde girl played with the plane toys her father bought for her. One of those was a mini version of an F-14 jet. “Tia, can we bring Daddy some of the cookies we made yesterday?” Sienna turned to Lucy with pleading eyes.

“Alright” Lucy accepts surrender “But only a few, because your dad loves to eat everything” Sienna laughs at her aunt's joke while Lucy finishes her nice hairstyle "Okay, your hair is finished. Now I want you to put these books inside your bag while I go for mine. Got it, Bee?” Sienna nods and gives Lucy a thumbs up.

When Lucy comes back from her bedroom she finds Sienna waiting at the door with a cookie bag in her hand. She gets on one knee to take the cookies and put them inside Sienna’s bag.

“That’s better” she smiled before standing up “Now let’s get going, Bee.”

The journey to the Library was one of their favorite things to do. They listen to music and sing along, from Disney to Bluey to some Taylor Swift, especially “Love Story”. And Sienna always reminds her, to Lucy’s dismay, to play her dad’s favorite “Great Balls of Fire”.

They arrive at North Island’s library and get out of the car. This was her’s and Sienna’s tradition for every Saturday. Get breakfast and start the day by going to the library. And Lucy loved this more than anything, even if it had been a real challenge helping her best friend and his child. She enjoyed being able to take part in the life of someone like Sienna. This little girl had saved her life in more ways than she could have imagined, and she would do anything to keep her safe from this big world.

Inside the library, they’re greeted by Nora the librarian. Nora has known Lucy since she and her family moved to Miramar. She knew almost everything about her and was one of the few who knew Sienna’s mom's real story. “Hi, girls. Finish your books already?” Nora asks cheerfully

“Yes! My favorite was the one with the secret Garden” Sienna answered happily. “I've finished it and another book all by myself.” Nora made an amused sound about the news and gave her a high five.

“Yep, so we are going to take it again with us so Bradley can listen to her reading,” Lucia says while putting the books in the return cart and giving Nora the “Secret Garden” book “Can you check it again for us?” Lucy ask Nora, who answered with a nod “We’re going to look for our weekly batch”

Sienna decided to go to the kid’s section while Lucy went to the classic section straight to where Jane Austen’s books can be found. Right on the top of the shelf, she found the one she was looking for. It was an old version of Pride and Prejudice that Lucy has read since she was a teenager. When she went to take it, another hand interrupted her way. Turning to see the person that didn’t let her take the book. She’s greeted by a pair of blue and shy eyes behind some Birth control glasses, a shy smile, and the most handsome man she ever met.

“I believe this is the one you were going for. Right?” The blonde haired man asks quietly before he starts to ramble “I just, I saw you were trying to grab it but you couldn't make it to the top. So I thought it was a good idea to help you. '' he looked at her eyes ``Please don’t think I’m a freak” he finished while handing her the book.

Lucy was so endeared by his shy manner of him that she just started laughing “I never thought that” she takes the book from his hands shyly “And yes, this was the one I was going for”

“ It’s a great book,” He says quickly, hoping to not scare her off. He had never seen such beauty in his life. And the smile she gave him after he said that, he felt like he was going to faint “I read it when I was in college. Jane Austen is an awesome author. She knew how to tell a story and make her characters grow.”

“I know, right? It’s one of my favorites” she said enthusiastically. The man in front of her smiled and opened his mouth to speak before being interrupted by a small “Tia” coming from behind her.

Lucy turned around and Sienna was looking at her with a smile on her face and arms full of books “ Bee, darling. Why do you have so many books?” Lucy asked while kneeling on her level. “You know we only take three or four per week” When she finished the sentence she heard a small whining coming from the child.

“Fine,” Sienna said with a pound “I’m going to take back the ones I don’t want to read right now” She places the books on the floor and takes three of them to hand them to Lucy “I’ll be back in a minute” she used her serious voice like she was on a mission. The one she always uses to hide her deception.

Lucy smiled with fondness at her niece before remembering there was a handsome stranger behind her. She quickly stood up.

“My niece is a little bookworm just like me” she chuckled feeling embarrassed.

“I don’t think there is something wrong with that.” He smiled at her and realized he’s been staring at her too much. “I mean, I’m one too if you haven't figured it out. Pretty sure the glasses give me away" A little laugh escaped from his lips.

"That, and your choice of books." Lucy raises the one in her hands and looks at the other in his hand. One with Miramar's history and another of the Treasure Island "Or maybe, it's your way to get a date." she jokes, gaining a chuckle from the man.

"Oh no, ma’am. I ain't that type of guy." The sudden southern accent from him caught Lucy by surprise. Before she could ask him for what reason he was there, Sienna came back. The little girl had her round cheeks flushed as if she had just run a marathon.

"Tia, I'm ready. Can we go now?" She asked to take her hand to try to move Lucy with her.

“Hold on one minute, little missy” Lucy stopped Sienna and kneel before her “Your father will be here in 2 hours. What's with the rush?” When her niece was about to answer, a little voice spoke, startling them.

“Excuse me,” The adults present look at the child who is just talking. A red-haired boy with glasses twice the size of his head. Lucy recognized the kid, he was in the other first-grade class, with Ms. Peterson and a teammate of Sienna’s soccer team. ”I think you forgot your bag, Sienna.” The mentioned girl hid behind her aunt and stared at her like asking for help.

“Thank you, darling.” Lucy replied to her niece while taking the bag “You’re in Ms. Peterson's class, right?”

“Yes!” He replied quickly before taking a look at Lucy to open his eyes like he just recognized her.“You're Ms. Orozco, right? I’m Marcus O’Malley. My little brother goes to your classroom.” he genuinely smiled, happy to share that information.

“That's right, I´m Georgie’s teacher.” Lucy smiled at the kid and stood up to extend her hand to him “It's a pleasure meeting you, Marcus.” The little kid shook her hand excitedly when an older woman called after him.

The kid got called by his parents, who, when they saw Lucy they greeted her with a wave

“I need to go,” the boy said when he saw his parents. Then he turned towards the girl“ Would you like to play with me tomorrow? ” he asked and Sienna just answered with a nod. “Great! See you tomorrow at school, Siena. You too, Ms, Orozco” Marcus turned and said goodbye quickly and left.

Lucia was in shock, her niece was shy and red as a tomato. Before she could say anything to the girl, the man decided to talk. Remembering Lucy of his presence.

“So, you’re a teacher? That's… That´s a beautiful profession.” the blond man says when she turns to face him. Darcy just smiled at him embarrassed, without knowing what to say.

“She’s one of the best teachers in Miramar’s elementary school” Sienna interrupted cheerfully, gaining the man's attention.

This gave Lucy a wake-up call. She realized that her niece just gave personal information to a total stranger. And that they really shouldn’t be doing this, especially her. She is the grown-up in charge of her niece. A pretty face it’s not worth their security.

Immediately, Lucy turns to her niece and asks her to give her books to Nora so they can go and hand her library card. When she gets her attention back to the man in front of her. Lucy’s heart almost melted when she saw the soft look he was giving her. But she shook it off since he was a stranger and her niece always came first.

“I love to keep chatting. But we need to go,” she said with an apologetic smile “We have to finish some stuff.” Lucy lets out an awkward chuckle, hoping the man in front of her doesn’t realize what she’s trying to do.

“It’s okay, ma’am. I won’t entertain you any longer, sorry” he smiled genuinely at her before making her a sign to wait for a second. He quickly took one of the books in his hand and extended for Lucy to take it “A little recommendation from bookworm to bookworm” Lucy took it carefully like it was made of crystal.

“I’ll give it a try” Lucy replied softly “Thank you, library savior.” She smiled one last time and turned to where her niece had gone. Walking she sent a last glance at where the handsome man was. He was still but just moving backward until he was stopped by the bookshelf making him almost drop his books and turn red ashamed. Lucy let out a little giggle and kept going. With a copy of The Treasure Island in her hands, even if she already had read it.

Walking out of the building to their car, Lucy turned at her niece and smiled mischievously.

"So… Marcus, huh?" Lucy starts the conversation.” He seems nice.”

"So… the man in the library, huh?" Sienna counterattacks, shocking her aunt.”Anything you wanna share?”

"Don’t try to avoid the question with another question” Lucy replied, opening the back door and helping her niece to get in the car seat.

“I’m just stating the facts,” Sienna said while hopping in.

Lucy laughed, definitely Sienna was Miel's daughter. Too smart for her good. She secured Sienna's seat belt, closed the door, walked to the other side of the car, and opened the driver's door.

“You know, for an 8-year-old you have a lot of opinions” Lucy mumbled, sitting and putting on her seat belt.

“I know, my teacher says I’m too advanced for my age” Sienna replied with a smirk.

“Kinda feel sorry for her” Lucy shook her head, turning her Jeep on.

“Don’t be, I hear her talking behind your back” Sienna declared while checking her new books.

“What?” Lucy snapped looking at her niece. Thank God they were still in the parking lot.

“Yep, she wants your parking spot. So she tried to spread some rumors.” Sienna replied uninterestedly, "That woman needs to remember that children understand more than she thinks.”

“Why didn't you tell me?” Lucy asked.

“Because Principal Cho shut her up,” she explained, since the situation had been cleared it wasn't important anymore. Then she added “And I put a bag of spoiled eggs inside her car”

“It was you? How did you do it?" Lucy questioned her, her head started to feel heavy, too much information for one library ride.

“A magician never shares her secrets," Sienna replied witty. "And I don’t like people that talk about my family.” This girl was without a doubt her family. She needed to reduce Sienna’s time with her family.

“Well, thank you," Lucy responded ironically. "That wasn't good, but I appreciated the intention. Just don’t do it again. Next time you tell me, okay?” She gave her niece one warning look making Sienna nod

“Okay,” Sienna replied not truly convinced.

"Great. Let's go for an ice cream before your dad gets here"

Sienna let out a cheerful "Yes!" In response. And just like that Sienna evaded the whole awkward situation for her and her aunt. Meanwhile, Lucy leaves behind her thoughts about the blue-eyed beauty she meets at the library.

[cypanache]

Hi! I recently read Patchwork Heart (like twice in two days) and I now have brainrot from that fic. (Which is to say that I loved it.) And I’m sad that it’s incomplete but I’m grateful that you wrote it, and all your other Parks and Rec fics. I remember reading a comment from you (from like 11 years ago lol) where you said you’d been writing for 14 years and you encouraged someone who was feeling bad about their own writing. Which gave me the motivation to keep writing, and made me think, how awesome must it be to be a fanfic writer for so long? This is a rambly comment to say that I’m glad you’re still writing (even if it’s not for Parks heh) and you’re a great inspiration!

(Also I’m aware this isn’t a question but I don’t really know how Tumblr works)

Well this ask officially made my year. (P.S. - Asks don't have to be questions. Especially when they're as lovely as this)

You know every once in a while I think, am I being totally ridiculous just leaving my live journal out there like that? Really, who's going out and reading stuff from over 11 years ago, except ... yeah I've totally done that myself. And I'm forever grateful for the authors who let their stuff just float along and exist. So I'm gratified to know that I did that for you today. And extremely gratified to know that I was able to give you a little motivation to keep writing. I have been doing this for over twenty years with varying levels of success and intensity as my life evolves, but I keep coming back to it, because really at the end of the day, fanfic is one of those hobbies that more than anything make me feel like me. When you find that, you owe it to yourself to hold onto it. Even if you can't do it perfectly or quickly.

I am not going to lie, I'm very sad Patchwork Heart is incomplete as well. That was an unfortunate product of life circumstances overwhelming me and by the time I paddled my way to the surface my emotional relationship with Parks had changed. But I am forever in love with the complete human disaster that was teenage Ben Wyatt in that fic.

Sooooo this isn't much, but this ask made me go back through my google docs. Here have part of a camping trip:

Griggs-Knope-Wyatt (Whatever) Family Vacation  

Hell – 375-369 days to go

Yeah, it’s official, Ben does not get camping.

At all.

Look he gave it a fair try.  But he just-  he doesn’t get it all right.  He doesn’t get what’s so fun about sleeping on the floor (”Ground,” Marlene informs him, “It’s called a ground when it’s outside, dear.") or getting so many mosquito bites, or having to make sure your food is put up in a certain way so raccoons won’t get to it.  And you know what he really doesn’t get?

Ghost stories.

He does not get ghost stories.  They’re not scary.  They’re particularly not scary if your dad is telling them.  And when your step-mom takes over and does manage to tell a scary one, well then you’re outside, in the dark . . . scared.

Oh and his tent collapses on him in the middle of the night.

Yup, okay.  Not.  Having.  Fun.

Ben just wishes he could convince himself that’s actually because of the camping.

Leslie’s been withdrawn and subdued for the past two days.  Not angry, just quiet.  He tried to talk to her yesterday morning like a dozen times, but the one time he got anywhere the fact he was trying to take the whole thing seriously only seemed to make it all worse.

He doesn’t know what to do for her.  Has the sneaking suspicion there’s actually nothing he can do.  Or at least nothing he’s willing to do.

So yeah, maybe he’s going to just lie here under the wreckage of what used to be his tent for a little while.

Except he can’t even seem to manage that, because the next thing he knows there’s the sound of footsteps and a flashlight is being shined into his eyes like an interrogation lamp.

“Benjamin?”

Ben holds up a hand to shield his eyes and squints up at the outline of his step-mother standing over him.  “Umm, hi?”

“Benjamin dear.  Your tent’s on the ground,” she informs him as though she’s not entirely sure he’s aware of this fact.  Sometimes he’s pretty sure his step-mother thinks he’s an idiot.      

“Yeah, so umm, funny story about that.  You know what it was, it-  it fell.”

The fact he always winds up saying stuff like that around her probably doesn’t help.

Marlene doesn’t respond for long moment, and even though he can’t see her face he can pretty much picture it.  It’s a face he’s pretty familiar with.  The one that says ‘I worry about your ability to dress yourself in the mornings’.

“I don’t-  I’ve never really camped,” he continues, unable to help himself.  Marlene’s silences are just about the most effective interrogation technique he’s ever encountered.  No wonder Leslie’s usually so talkative.

“I never would have guessed,” she shoots back, before adding, “Well, should I just leave the two of you alone or would you like some help putting it back up?”

“No- no, help would be good.”

There’s a long pause, then:  “Ben, dear.”

“Yeah?”

“You need to get out of the tent.”

“Oh.  Right.”

---

So in a surprising turn of events (at least in his opinion), Marlene actually turns out to be a pretty good teacher.  Like okay she isn’t the most patient person in the world, but she’s incredibly precise in her explanations of how to do things like tie a hitch-knot, and Ben’s always been more comfortable with precision over intuition, so it doesn’t take him too terribly long to catch on, and when she pats him lightly on the knee in approval, it feels like getting an A in your most demanding class from the teacher who scares the shit out of you.

All in all, Ben’s feeling kind of good about things by the time they get the tent back up, so when Marlene points out that it’s only an hour or so until sunrise and asks whether he wants to help her make coffee for breakfast, he says yes, thinking maybe things are looking up.  

Yeah, no, that was obviously just designed to lull him into a false sense of security.

“So,” Marlene opens without warning or preamble, “Leslie tells me I’m returning the Purdue sweatshirt.”

He barely manages not to tip over his cup of coffee. “Yeah, um, sorry about that.”

“Ben didn’t we talk about that? Um-”

“Is the sound in dumb.  Yeah I know.”

The look she gives him could level small countries.  Ben keeps his head down and tries not to have an aneurysm.

How does he get himself into these situations?  Really why is it sarcastic, smart-aleck things always come out of his mouth at exactly the wrong time.  It’s not like he’s trying to be a wise-ass.  He’s not really trying to be anything really.  (Except maybe invisible.  Invisible would be nice right now.)  But for some reason it happens anyway, and he can’t seem to stop it.  It’s like this leak, this crack in his personality.  Ninety-five percent of the time he manages to be exactly the kind of guy he should be, the kind he thinks Virginia Wyatt would have wanted him to be.  The kind of son his perpetually fragile father seems to need.  Quiet and polite and respectful.  But every once in awhile the pressure of keeping everything else in just gets to be too much and these little drops of acid seep through, landing where they’re not wanted and scarring once they’re there.

Except Marlene Griggs-Knope doesn’t scar that easily.

“Oh, sit up straight.  Really, Ben if you keep going through life acting like a spineless jellyfish, it won’t just be Leslie who treats you like one.”

“I don’t.” he mutters under his breath.

Only he says it to the picnic table so that probably undermines his whole protest.  He forces himself to sit up and look Marlene in the eye (Okay, it’s more like her forehead, but come on, cut him a little slack here.  Do you want to look Marlene in the eye?  Yeah, that’s what he thought.  Shut up.</i>)

“Leslie doesn’t-”

But he can’t make himself complete the thought, because . . . yeah, sometimes she kind of does.  And, shit, it’s Leslie’s mom, and Marlene’s giving him this look that clearly says ‘don’t bullshit me about my own daughter.’  Still, Leslie treats everyone like that, at least everyone important to her.  Ann gets, like, twenty-three instructions a day.  And, well, he likes it.  It’s been a really long time since anyone paid that much attention to anything he did.  It’s how he knows he’s important, that she cares.  If she ever stopped trying to micromanage his life, well then he’d just be another ordinary person on the outside, wouldn’t he?

He opens his mouth to try again, but Marlene waves his efforts away with a dismissive hand.  Oh good, apparently he’s now already used up whatever small amount patience she had allotted for him today, and it’s only, what?  Five-thirty in the morning?  This is probably some kind of new record for him.

Yaaaay . . .

At that moment from across the campsite, Leslie unzips her tent and steps out into the new dawn, only to freeze, eyes going wide, at the obviously unexpected sight of Ben sitting at the picnic table with her mother.

He tries to remember enough Morse code to blink her a S.O.S.

And any other morning it wouldn’t matter that he’s pretty sure he just looks like he’s having an epileptic fit, Leslie would have already come over and rescued him. 

Instead she just turns back around, grabs her towel and a bar soap out of the tent and trudges off to the shower facilities, leaving him alone with Marlene to fend for himself.

Okay, Leslie is officially really upset.

“She will get over it.”

At Marlene’s observation, Ben whips his head back around only to find himself pinned by his step-mother’s sharp assessing gaze.

It feels like all the oxygen just got sucked out of the . . . well, earth.

He opens his mouth to stammer out a disclaimer but only manages a strangled kind of gurgle, which Marlene, thankfully, ignores.

“Leslie is no stranger to disappointment.  She’s a very resilient girl.  Always has been.” She says it matter-of-factly and maybe even a little proudly, then immediately counterbalances it with a sigh of exasperation. “Realism, however, is unfortunately not your step-sister’s strong suit.  Particularly when it comes to people.”

Ben just presses his lips together and fiddles a little with his coffee cup, drumming his fingernails against the metal.  He’s not really sure why Marlene’s telling him all this.  Not that any of it is exactly revelation.  To know anything about Leslie is to know she puts too much faith in life in general and people in particular.

So no it’s not like he doesn’t realize Leslie’s been disappointed by people before—her father, Lindsay . . . And then suddenly it clicks with him, the why behind all of this.

People leave.

In Leslie’s world, people leave her.

For some reason he’s never thought about it before, about her history and the painful lessons life’s given her.  After all, he’s the one with the dead mother, the great tragedy that defined his entire fucking existence before he met her; that he wears like a poorly healed scar on his personality.  Leslie always seemed so untouched by comparison.

But she’s not.  He can see that now.

Because yeah, maybe his mother was ripped out his life.

But people walk out of hers.

By their own choice.

Of their own free will.

Ben drops his head to stare down at the film that’s started to form on his rapidly cooling coffee in shame as he realizes he’s been making plans to join them, to go off to college and then conscientiously extricate himself from her life, little by little, bit by bit, until he’s down to a subsistence diet.  To the bare-essentials of what he needs to survive.  Never once thinking about Leslie’s needs.

God, he is such an ass.

Marlene who has been silent for a little while, gets up to pour herself another cup of coffee, before coming over to sit back down and drop another bombshell on him.  “You know, sometimes I wonder if your father and I should have waited until after the two of you went to college to get married.”

Oh god. He feels a cold finger of dread crawl its way down his spine at her words, and suddenly all he can think is:  She knows.  She knows how he feels about her daughter, and he’s going to die.  Up here in all this outdoors, Marlene probably knows a dozen ways to kill him and make it look like an accident.  Maybe that’s why they’re camping in the first place.  Maybe this was her plan all along . . .

It’s about this time that the rest of what Marlene’s saying starts to sink in.  “—it’s not that we’re not happy you two get along so well.  After all, that’s the whole reason we decided to get married when we did.  Give all of us the chance to try to be a family.  But--” she purses her lips, and narrows her eyes, “Maybe we were a little too successful?”

And the terror’s back.  “Too successful?”

“Up until two days ago, all Leslie ever talked about was going to IU and being close to home.  She’s already learned the fight song.”  That makes him almost smile despite himself, because of course she has.  He bites the inside of his mouth just in time to stop it.  Marlene continues.  “And your father tells me you’ve been collecting brochures for out of state schools ever since the two of you moved to Indiana.  But suddenly here I am buying sweatshirts for Purdue.”

“I didn’t ask-”

Marlen waves his protest away.  “Of course you didn’t.”  Then in a seeming nonsequitor:  “Did you know Ann Perkins did Model UN all last year?”

-----

When I get a little more time I'll try to bullet point out for you where I was going.

[naffeclipse]

PKAY IM HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS

So sorry if this has already been said I haven't been super active on Tumblr and only just recently got the chance to catch up on CS

First I was thinking of how the cryptid in the cornfield with the violet eyes was Eclipse or something because of the talk of needing a "vessel" similar to sun and moon with theirs and how large the cryptid was and I was thinking of if that were the case with them being super similar when the reveal happens that it would like be horrifying for y/n because their friend, who's been with them for so long (?) And cared for them and they've cared for too and promised to keep them safe turned out to be the same type of creature that gave them that scar, the hatred of cornfields, night terrors, etc

But then re reading just now because I thought (if there is I just haven't found it yet I had this realization and jumped back here) there was a part where they saw sun and moons red eyes and blamed it on remembering that first cryptid but looking back I saw the "two shadows above its head like rabbit ears" and went OMG VANNY THATS WHATS UP WITH VANESSA ITS THAT CRYPTID

But also thinking of all these other scenarios of how the reveal is gonna go, your writing is always so amazing like I'll read it several times and each time find another detail my brain didn't grab the first time it's so nice.

Like would they be in shock and freeze? Immediately go into attack mode? Would the boys be able to de-escalate the situation?

Like going with the Carnivore song (because that's what I've been listening too since I saw the other person talk about it regarding CS)

"Sitting in the dark, staring at the wall" y/n caught them returning to the vessel and is now waiting with their weapon in the trailer

"You took my heart and ate it. But I won't be your victim, can't take it anymore." Not in a literal sense, even being heart eaters they won't eat their heart, but the betrayal, y/n loves/cares for them and now finding everything was a lie

Would it happen at night sleepy time cuddles where y/n is just a bit more coherent then they expected, when they held moons real hand that one night they said themselves they were being too bold.

Will it only be when Vanny shows up and they must protect their heart?

ALSO in The Episode Of Glowing Eyes when they're sleeping under the stars "you shift your hand as a faint vibration works through moons chasis" -- ""Fine" Moon murmurs, then after a long beat, he says "We're happy."

DO THEY PURR?? I'M SOBBING I LOVE THEM

I had more thoughts earlier but I'm tired and can't remember but you're amazing

Ahhhhh! Thank you so much, babe ;-; YOUR PREDICTIONS AND QUESTIONS OH HO I AM GAZING!

As for that one little tidbit in The Episode of Glowing Eyes, hehehe, if you've read my other fics like Deep Dreams, and Double Toil and Trouble, you know I love my purring creatures ♥

*smooch ya on the head*

[gurokichi]

you never bore me! i’m always captivated when I see your posts. i envy that god of yours even. also, its impolite to keep people waiting (even when sleeping). im glad though, that i have made a mark in your tiny little mind..

you can use any pronouns for me. after all, it helps in my anonymity.

arent you having fun finding out who i am? i could be anyone. a friend of a few years, or a moot on tumblr. youll just need to wait and see. i find this little guessing game enjoyable as well, really. and don’t you worry, little puppy. i fully know what i want.

i guess big games like monopoly arent easy for a mini-brained pup like you. i must say, you are a clever little thing for knowing how to read people. i commend you, my good puppy.

video games are also fun. i have played a few myself, but only a few. pokemon has always been my favourite. little creatures. my favourite has got to be the gardevior line. they are the definition of beauty.

i shall end this by saying i hate mojang for making minecraft a paid game. thank you.

(🎶)

Awh, thank you!! No need to be envious of my God, I can talk to both of you. I feel so lucky that a dumb pup like me was able to grab your attention. As long as you haven’t left for good, I don’t mind waiting for you to come back. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, after all! I don’t think that it’s impolite to have your own things to attend to, sleep is much more important than talking to me!! I wouldn’t want my melody being tired :c

I’ll just stick to they/them in that case then!

I am having fun, despite it being a lil annoying to have to wait to get my answers! I’ve never been the most patient when it comes to things like this, bleh. Also, hehe, nice try. I definitely know that you’re not a longtime friend of mine. I don’t talk to many people, and none of those I have known for that long would act like you do. Only two even know this blog exists. A mootie is much more plausible… and quite the problem. That’d widen the range of who you could be, which would make it much harder to figure out who you are. This IS a sideblog, so I don’t exactly have any mooties here. And, ah, that’d mean you know my main blog too. I wonder, do you? That’s thrilling to think about!! (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)

Ehehe, I’ve just always found monopoly confusing. I’m a lil stupid. Too much going on with it, not easy at all!! I’m glad that you find me clever, though.

Ah, Pokémon is also one of my favorites… and a favorite of my God’s too!! You two have something in common, isn’t that fun? ^o^

The gardevoir line is gorgeous! My favorite Pokémon probably have to be Jirachi, Hoopa, & Leafeon… they’re all so cute!!

So real. Everyone should experience the joy of playing Minecraft. How could they make it a paid game… smh

[beenbaanbuun]

Hope it's okay for me to just drop you an ask like this!! But i just wanted to say again that you're not a writing machine that's expected to produce fics when someone presses a button - you're human and you're allowed to have your emotions and you're allowed to be unable to do stuff. I know how much not being able to write sucks, but pleaseplease remember that you're not obligated to churn out content, and really no decent person is going to expect you to, especially when you're not feeling your best!!

I also wanted to say that i really relate to you feeling guilty about asking for help, but i believe it's bullshit that you shouldn't ask for help at a time where you don't have the capacity to offer help to others. Our capacities fluctuate all the time, and of course you won't have the energy to take care of others as much when you're struggling hard yourself right now. And that's okay, you're allowed to have times where you need to rely on others even when you can't give the support back atm. I know that's reallyreally hard to learn and to get into your system when you've been taught otherwise, but it's just how humans work! We all have different needs, and we're worthy of getting support, even when we don't have much to offer in return right now.

I don't know if this helps you in any way at all, but I really wanted to share my thoughts! And you can always slide in my dm's too if you want to and you need someone to talk to^^ ~ salty 💛

hello my angel!!!! i haven’t been on tumblr much over the past day so i didn’t see this until now but i want to say just how much i appreciate this, as well as all the love and support i’ve been receiving from everyone! my problem is that i want to write so bad and i’ve gotten myself into a situation of putting out something, even if it’s just a short drabble or fake texts, almost daily so when i don’t post, all i feel is guilt. like i’ve built up this routine and that’s what people expect of me and now i’m not sticking to that routine so automatically i must be the worst person to ever walk this earth, you know? of course, that’s hyperbole but it doesn’t take away from the fact that i clearly need to take a step back and realise that taking time for myself isn’t a bad thing.

thank you for telling me that what i said was bullshit. deep down i know that getting help isn’t a ‘give and take’ thing, but again, it’s a guilt thing. i don’t like feeling like i’m taking more than i give. i feel like i need to earn the help i get which is fucked and honestly such a bad way of thinking but that’s just how my brain works i guess. it’s something i need to reverse because obviously my way of doing things doesn’t help anyone, but as with reversing anything like that, it’ll probably be a long process.

thank you for reaching out. it does help a lot. just the knowledge that i’m not alone helps a lot. thank you