#and i never got the hang of doing it with a flattening iron plus i don't have one

[royalarmyofoz]

my hair refuses to curl 🥲

[livesincerely]

it’s beginning to look a lot like... ch.3

Also on Ao3. Chapter two here.

00000

The Sixth Christmas

Jack nudges the door shut with his shoulder, stopping to stomp his boots against the mat in the entryway before making his way into the kitchen. 

His boys have been plenty busy in the half hour he’s been gone: Davey, Tony, and Charlie are gathered around the kitchen table in what has clearly become the designated Latke Zone. Charlie is sitting on top of the table, grating the last of the peeled potatoes, his brow furrowed in careful concentration, and Davey’s talking Tony through dicing an onion, instructing, “—and you keep your knuckles curled under like this, see, so you don’t cut your fingers.” 

The scene is underscored by the soft hum of Christmas carols playing on the radio and the flurry of snow visible through the window. Jack lingers in the doorway for a moment, a smile spreading across his face of its own accord as he takes it all in, fingers itching for a pen and paper. 

He shakes the daydream away.

“Delivery,” Jack announces, setting the grocery bags on the counter top. 

“Hey, Jack,” Davey greets, then has to catch Tony’s wrist in his hand when he starts to wave while holding his knife. “Careful, Tones.”

“Sorry,” Tony says sheepishly. “Hi, Jack.”

“How’s it goin’?”

“Pretty good so far,” Davey says letting Tony get back to his task. “I think we’ve almost got everything ready. Did you have any trouble finding the schmaltz?”

“I think I got whatcha wanted,” Jack says, rubbing his hand along the back of his neck. Davey had given him the name and address of the kosher butcher he’d needed to go to and told him exactly what to ask for, and yet he’s still worried he’s messed it up somehow. “But I can run back out if it ain’t right.”

Davey peeks into the grocery bags, unearths the container, and gives an approving nod. 

“Perfect,” he says. “Thanks Jackie.”

It’s a little embarrassing how quickly those simple words make the flutter in Jack’s chest steady and settle.

“Yeah, no problem,” he answers.

“Davey, is this enough potato?” Charlie pipes up, shaking a cramp out of his hand, gesturing at the mound of potato piled in front of him.

Davey moves over, staring down at the mass with a critical eye. 

“Yeah, that should be plenty,” he says, scooping the potatoes up and dumping them out onto a dishtowel. 

“I think this is done too,” Tony says, carefully scraping the bits of onion that have stuck to his knife off onto the cutting board. 

“Looks good,” Davey says. He sweeps a few stray potato pieces off of Charlie’s shirt and into the trash can that’s been positioned next to the table, leans down to press a quick kiss to the top of his head, then goes back over to Tony and gives him the same treatment. “Great work, boys.”

“Do you need anythin’ else?” Tony asks, glowing faintly at the praise.

“I think I’ve got it from here,” Davey says, ruffling his hair. “But thank you for helping me.”

“You’re welcome,” Charlie chirps with a wide smile, hopping down from the table.

“Welcome,” Tony echoes. “Can we watch TV now?”

“Wash your hands,” Davey reminds them, spreading the onions out onto the same dishcloth with the potatoes, folding the mixture up in the towel and patting the moisture out. “But go ahead.”

As the boys skip away, Jack steps into the bit of clear space at Davey’s side. 

“Anythin’ else need doin’?” he asks.

“Can you grab the eggs for me?” Davey replies. “And the flour and the baking powder?”

“Got it.”

Davey gets the batter mixed together, seasoning it all with a good helping of salt and pepper, then carries the bowl into the kitchen, the container of schmaltz tucked under his arm. He sets a cast iron skillet on the stove and turns on the eye, scoops out a hardy spoonful of fat and lets it melt, then pours some oil over top.

“It’s good of you to do all’a this,” Jack says, as Davey drops the latke batter into the pan with a sizzling hiss. 

“It would’ve been good of me to remember to ask Mama if I could borrow some of her schmaltz before we left last night,” Davey says with a scoff, prodding at the batter with his spatula, flattening the drops out into little disks. “Then I wouldn’t’ve had to send you out to the store in this godforsaken weather.”

“Nah, I don’t mind,” Jack says, shaking his head. “I mean, you’re the one that’s doing the hard part. And when you didn’t have’ta.”

“It’s not a big deal,” Davey says, adjusting the temperature of the eye. “I just hope they turn out alright. Mama has this way of getting them perfectly crispy on the outside while keeping the insides soft⁠—I haven’t quite mastered it. But hopefully the boys won’t mind.”

“They’ll like them because you’re the one making ‘em,” Jack says, trying a different tactic. “Because you’re making ‘em special, just for them.”

“Well, they asked me to,” Davey says simply, still not getting it. “It’s not like I mind.”

“But you’re still goin’ outta your way,” Jack counters. “I mean, they gorged themselves on the things last night, practically ate your folks outta house and home, then woke up this mornin’ beggin’ for more, and even though we didn’t have the ingredients for ‘em, plus the fact that Hanukkah ended yesterday and half the city’s closed for Christmas, you still made it happen. I’m jus’ sayin’, it’s a nice thing to do.”

“Jackie, it’s just latkes,” Davey says, raising an eyebrow. “You don’t need to thank me, or whatever it is you’re trying to do⁠—”

“But I do need to thank you,” Jack insists, frustrated with his inability to get his point across. “I do ‘cause it’s… because I…”

He doesn’t know how to explain, doesn’t have the words to encapsulate how nice this all is, how different, yet familiar, and impossibly better this holiday season has been than all the others: how great it was to have someone to help him with holiday shopping, how much he loved getting to hang strings of blue and white lights across their balcony and put their first Christmas tree up in the living room, how every time he sees Davey’s menorah sitting on the coffee table with his and the boys’ stockings hanging on the wall behind the couch, he can’t help but smile, how strange and exciting it was to get roped into⁠ the Jacobs’ Hanukkah traditions—not asked, not invited, but folded right in, like it was never a question at all⁠ that he and the boys would be a part of it all—how he’d nearly cried last night, watching Les walk Tony and Charlie through their first game of dreidel, because he’s just been so desperately happy that he feels like he might burst with it.

And right at the center of it all is Davey: the best friend and co-parent and partner that Jack could’ve ever wanted or asked for. He’s so thankful, every single goddamn day of his life, to have Davey at his side. 

Jack wants to tell him, wants him to know how deeply appreciated he is, but he can’t figure out how to phrase it. There just aren’t words to encompass the depth of this feeling. 

How could there be?

But Davey looks at him and seems to read the heart of the matter right off of Jack’s face. His expression softens, his eyes warm with tender affection, and he curls his free hand around Jack’s forearm and gives it a gentle squeeze.

“It’s okay, Jack,” he says with a soft smile. “Really. Don’t worry about it.”

“Okay,” Jack says hesitantly. “If you’re sure.”

“I’m sure,” Davey promises. “You and Tony and Charlie? You’re family. You don’t need to thank me.”

Jack swallows heavily, throat thick with sudden emotion. “Alright,” he whispers.

Blinking through the sting in his eyes, he continues, “Uh... speakin’ of family, are we still goin’ back up to your folks’ place for New Year’s?”

Davey watches him a second longer, a hint of concern in his gaze, but he lets Jack change the subject without comment because he’s good like that. 

“That’s what Mama said when she called this morning,” Davey answers, sliding the first set of latkes out of the pan and onto a wire rack to drain. “Though, she mentioned that if the weather ends up being bad, then she’d understand if we decided to stay in.”

“Are we supposed to be getting a lot more snow?” Jack asks, confused.

“Like, two inches, maybe, the night before,” Davey says. “I tried to tell her that, even if it does snow, the roads and sidewalks would be clear by New Year’s Eve, but you know how she is.”

“Well, we’ll see how it goes,” Jack says, fingers creeping casually towards the fresh stake of latkes as Davey gets the next set frying. 

Davey slaps his hand away without a hint of mercy. “Don’t even try it, Kelly.”

“Aw, Dave,” Jack whines. “Where’s your holiday spirit?’

“Holiday spirit isn’t gonna keep you from burning the shit out of your mouth,” Davey says. “There should still be some gelt in the cabinet above the fridge if you want something to snack on while these finish.”

“Fuck, yeah,” Jack says. 

He finds the bag of chocolate coins and immediately unwraps three of them and crams them into his mouth. 

“Do we need to bring anything?” Jack asks. “That’s like, the thing to do, it’nit?”

“We could bring a small something,” Davey says, working his spatula under a latke and flipping it. “Mama will have the mains covered, but we could bring cookies or chips? Maybe a liter of soda? I’ll ask her when she calls next.”

“Or, we could make somethin’ too, couldn’t we?” Jack says.

“Do you want to make something?” Davey asks, stealing a piece of gelt from Jack’s pile, tearing away the foil, and placing it right on the center of his tongue with a teasing smirk. Jack’s stomach jolts and jitters. “We can if you want to.”

“I could make a pan of cheesecake brownies,” Jack suggests, opening up another piece and offering it to him, watching the way Davey’s lips close delicately around the chocolate coin. “The ones I made when we first moved in? Do you think they’d like ‘em?”

“Those were fucking fantastic,” Davey says. “If they don’t like them, I’m perfectly fine eating them all myself.” He pauses, head tilting to the side. “You should make extras, so we can keep some here.”

Jack laughs. “Okay, remind me to get extra butter when we go to the store next and I’ll handle it.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Davey agrees, turning to Jack with a smile⁠—a gorgeous little thing that lights up his whole face⁠—and as he does, Jack notices a dark smudge on the side of his mouth.

“Oh, wait, you’ve got a bit of chocolate...” Jack says, reaching up without thinking about it, and he doesn’t realize what he’s doing until after he’s already dragged his thumb across the corner of Davey’s mouth, stopping to rest right on the fullest part of his lower lip, his forefinger curled under Davey’s chin.  

Davey looks back at him, his expression slack with surprise and his cheeks a bit pink. He’s probably wondering what the hell Jack is doing. Jack’s wondering much the same. 

“There,” Jack rasps out, finally connecting the broken fuse in his brain that’s responsible for all his terrible, terrible decisions and dropping his hand from Davey’s face. “That’s better.” 

What Jack should do next his wipe his hands clean or give ‘em a quick rinse in the sink or, hell, take a cleaver and chop ‘em off at the wrist⁠—anything except for what he does next, which is his stick his thumb in his mouth and swirl his tongue around it, licking it clean. 

Davey’s eyes go a touch wider, his face flushing that much deeper. He clears his throat a few times, looking distinctly flustered⁠; Jack can’t even imagine what he’s thinking⁠—he’s probably embarrassed on Jack’s behalf.

“Thanks,” Davey eventually gets out.

“No problem,” Jack breathes back.

“Uh…” says Tony. 

Jack stumbles back a step, his and Davey’s heads whipping around to look: Tony’s standing just behind them, eyes darting back and forth between him and Davey. He holds up the glass in his hand, which is almost empty. 

“I need some more juice?” Tony says, but his voice lilts up at the end in question.

“Sure,” Jack says, running a hand through his hair. The back of his neck feels hot, his heart pounding against his ribcage. “Yeah, sure, bud.”

“So, can I get into the fridge?” Tony asks.

“Go ahead,” Jack says.

Tony looks at him like he’s a complete moron. “Jack, you’re blocking the fridge.”

“Right,” Jack says, moving to the side. He accidentally bumps into Davey and his hands dart out instinctively to steady him, but he rethinks the impulse mid-motion, diverting at the last second and stuffing his hands in his pockets instead. “Sorry! Sorry, I’ll just⁠—” He backs up the other way and knocks into Tony. “Sorry! I can⁠— I’ll go⁠— I’ll just stand over here.”

“Idiota,” Tony mutters under his breath as he passes.

“Cállate, Tonio,” Jack hisses back. 

“The latkes are done,” Davey announces, mercifully oblivious to the exchange. His face is still distinctly pink. “Someone get Charlie.”

“I’ll go,” Jack offers immediately, latching onto the excuse. He needs a second away from Davey and his stupidly pretty eyes. “Dish me up a plate?”

“Do you want applesauce?” Davey asks.

Jack pauses, frowning. “Do we got any sour cream?”

“You absolute heathen,” Davey says mildly, and he’s starting to sound a bit more like himself, his voice dropping back into its usual register instead of the panicked squeak from before. “Les got to you, didn’t he?”

“Sour cream, cielito,” Jack says, the pet name slipping out without him meaning it to. Tony hits him with a look that’s twice as judgmental as the previous one. “Pretty please?”

“Fine,” Davey grumbles lightly. “I guess if I have to.”

“You’re the light of my life, Dave,” Jack says.

Tony sighs, loudly. Jack’s ears burn. 

“Be right back,” he mutters, then he turns on his heel and flees before he can embarrass himself any further.

Jesus Christ.

00000

Chapter four here.

[snkpolls]

SnK Chapter 130 Results

The chapter poll closed with 1775 responses. This month’s poll results were brought to you by u/staraves, Crunchwrap, Luna, Momtaku and Giovata! Thank you to everyone for your support!

RATE THE CHAPTER

Maybe it was finally getting Eren’s POV, or maybe it was finally seeing the rumbling in nine glorious double page spreads. Either way “Dawn for Humanity” was very well received with close to 70% giving it the highest possible rating, marking this the most acclaimed chapter since chapter 123.

Beautifully drawn and written. I like the teasing of Eren's PoV

Good to see some Eren and Historia (finally!!) but the lack of answers is really hurting my heart, cmon yama!!

Epic chapter, amazing artwork. And astonishingly, with 5-6-7 chapters left i still don't know where this is going.

Definitely in my top ten best chapters. The ending was gloriously horrifying to read. Also, we finally got some Historia content, which is a big plus.

Cool as hell chapter.

I feel like this chapter wasn’t that great. It kind of gave way to more speculation without giving many concrete answers. The things that it DID answer felt like stating the obvious.

Tease me more, daddy Isayama

This chapter most likely is the best i've ever seen. So many answers and sooo many questions left behind. This chapter directs us to think about the previous chapters and obviously ISAYAMA'S THOUGHTS. That thing makes me happy. I'm very grateful.

Death is on its way, ladies and gents. Also the end is almost here. What the fuck is going on? I just want some answers about  E V E R Y T H I N G (especially about Eren's psyche).

Is there a singular word for the feeling of a mosquito bite?

  WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT?

“The revelation of Eren’s freaky final boss form” was our favorite moment (22.7%) followed by “Eren’s POV finally! Sort of?” (15.8%) and “The rumbling! At last!” (13.4%). “Historia and Eren’s tense discussion on the farm” came in fourth (11.6%).

Fuck yes! Erens back!

Our Queen has finally returned!

The whole chapter was building up to the reveal of Eren's titan form, and I enjoyed it.

Finally back at our one and only true hero Eren.

SWIMMER TITANS ARE NOW THE GOLD MEDALIST FOR THE SWIMMING CATEGORY IN OLYMPICS 2020 special edition

FINNALY HISU POV, even if it’s just a flashback. Honestly I’m just happy to see her again, becuase she’s my favorite character, and even if the flashback gives more questions than answers.

loved zeke-eren bro talk

everyone who thought that Floch was lying in charter 125 are 🤡🤡🤡

reiner tiddies

  WHO WAS THIS CHAPTER'S MVP?

“The colossal synchronized swim team” made an impressive showing (28.5%) but their majestic moves across the ocean were not enough to topple Eren (53.6%) for chapter MVP. Historia (8.1%), Zeke (5%), and Annie (3.5%) also received some love.

EREN IS THE GOAT

Eren is the worst boy in the world.

EREN JAEGER GENOCIDAL MANIAC

I really missed Historia, so it was nice to see her.

can the rumbling start a synchronized aquatic dance?

  WHAT DOES THE CHAPTER TITLE "DAWN FOR HUMANITY" REFER TO?

I thought of it as some sort of "End of the world" titling.

Dunno; but it doesn't really work if the rest of the world gets rumbled, does it?

I want to see the japanese title to decide

Eren wants to kill “animals” to give a new life to “humanity”

A dawn, or a beginning of a new day, has arrived. Whether this new day is a good or a bad one for humanity, we do not yet know. Everything is still possible, but once this day is over, the world as we know it is no longer here, for better or worse.

A new age for humanity is incoming. The story will end as a tragedy with Eren achieving his goal.

Dawn means the start of the day. So I think the start of the rumbling will be the start of humanity for this world. I think we started to see this with the world fleet being there to try stop eren. I believe every country is helping people flee regardless of race. Maybe I'm just too idealistic.

Ce chapitre fait reference au fait qu’eren est pret a tout pour sauver ses amis

Eren will achieve his goal (end the cycle of hatred)

Hope for humanity outside the walls. Dawn for me is something like hope, even if today was a bad day, tomorrow, after dawn, things might get better. Maybe the Warriors-Paradis alliance will somehow reach Eren and stop the Rumbling?

dunno but got the vibes of ‘it’s darkest before the dawn’ might be a tip for a change coming

Eren has now officially started eradicating the world and also it's dark ideas against people on paradise and conquering freedom for his people and that is why this moment onwards is "the dawn of humanity "

Dawn for Eldians to be exact. Dusk for Marleyans.

Finally defeating Eren, ending the curse of Ymir and freeing everyone from the shadow of Titan powers.

Dawn of Terror? Dawn of "What The FUCK Is That??" Dawning that the remaining places of humanity are to be trampled?

It could refer to a ""dawn"" for the alliance, who intend for neither side of the conflict to be eradicated, as they believe everyone is part of ""humanity"". Despite their deliberation at the beginning of the chapter, the fact that they're finally setting sail to stop Eren is testament that they've not lost their hope in the pursuit of this ideal, hence they can be interpreted to be the ""dawn"".

Eldians in Paradis Island being free from the wrath of outsiders and being avenged

I think it refers to a new beginning a new start for the eldians living on the island or it can be used as an ironic way that the humanity outside the walls is going to end so it's complete destruction hence the beginning of the new cycle

The Rumbling & Historia's child, humanity's destruction and its rebirth

Continuation of "End's Eve" as this is the dawn of the day where humanity fights for its continued existence

"Dawn" refers to Humanity's realisation of many things. Eg: how Eldia is not a weak nation, how the Rumbling wasn't a lie, how people are people and they are all the same - wanting to live and shedding the same blood no matter what nationality they have. "Humanity" refers to those still alive and realizing these things.

Dawn of the final day - 24 hours remain

  WHAT ARE THE FUTURE IMPLICATIONS OF ANNIE DECIDING SHE'S TIRED OF FIGHTING AND NO LONGER WANTS TO STOP EREN?

Despite learning that her hometown is doomed, just over half of respondents feel confident Annie will stay the course and continue to work with the alliance. Among the rest of responses, 27.4% think this will trigger Annie’s exodus, selecting “Annie will leave the alliance and try to be with her father,” 16.9% believe this will cause Annie to do something stupid resulting in her death, and lastly 4% of the fandom believe this bad news will trigger Annie’s homicidal instincts causing her to switch sides and join Eren.

Annie saying she didn't want to have to be prepared to fight mikasa, Connie, armin, jean, Reiner and eren again made me feel sad for her ;-;

I just wanna say that it wouldn't make any sense for Isayana to bring Annie back and then write her out so it's obvious she will continue in the alliance lol (but I don't really agree with any of the options offered, I think she will decide by herself to stay)

Poor Annie's breakdown made me feel terrible for her. I still think she wants to leave but I think there are chances of the Warriors and/or Armin convincing her to stay and fight. As one of the nine shifters, she kinda has the responsibility to fight, even if she doesn't want to, and I get completely why she doesn't want to, poor thing. I have a sneaky suspicion that she might choose Porco's way out and we might yet see a new holder of the Female Titan power. :(

  WHAT WILL BE THE FATES OF THE ELDIANS IN LIBERIO, SPECIFICALLY THE WARRIORS' FAMILIES?

When asked about the residents of Liberio and the fate of the Warriors’ families, a combined 58% believe that they are alive for the moment selecting that they were evacuated (39.3%) or else managed to escape (18.4%). Close to 30% aren’t so optimistic, believing Liberio is flattened and they are dead. We also had plenty of write in responses:

They are going to die, but I can see Annie meeting her father and die together in each others arm by the rumbling. It's sad I know, but it would be a fitting end for both of them :(

They are probably arrive. Either they overcame the Marleyan authorities that tried to surpress, or The Rumbling avoided Liberio entirely. I just doubt they would kill off Mr. Leonhardt offscreen.

They may have started to fight the Marleyans and then ended up flattened by the titans since they didn't escape earlier.

They took a ship to the south and we will meet them including Reiner's family  and Mr. Leonhart.

Am I supposed to feel sorry for these people? I don't. The Warriors don't deserve happy endings for everything they have done.

Bands of survivors have made it out but Annie will meet her dad when he is dead or dying

some died while revolting, some are alive, annie's dad is wounded

They're currently fineish because Eren didn't go where Hange was expecting, hence why all their estimations have been off

I mean, they must be alive somehow. It seemed  that there were only soldiers in Liberio and the others evacuated so I'm hopeful that at least Annie's father survived

I want to have hope ;-;

I just want Annie to see her father again, and for Reiner to get what he wants.

What if the city Eren attacked isn't Liberio? I feel like it's too important to be flattened just like that (thematical resonance + too many side-characters like Eren's own grandfather are there) and we're being misled about the place Eren is attacking.

  HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT HISTORIA'S STANCE ON THE RUMBLING?

Many of us had expectations about Historia going into this chapter. Her initially disagreeing outright with the rumbling but seemingly giving in was a surprise to 8.4% who thought she would have been all for it all along, and 19.9% who never expected her to agree with it at all. 6.4% of you expected her to do the opposite of what is implied, with agreeing at first but changing her mind in the conversation, while 23.3% reported expecting the exact turn of events. However, a huge 41.5% of you aren’t taking everything at face value and do not believe Historia does or has ever supported the rumbling.

  DO YOU BELIEVE EREN IS THE FATHER?

After almost 2 years of the fandom fighting over the identity of Historia’s baby daddy, this chapter has finally definitively proven that… we still know nothing. Nonetheless, the narrowly winning belief (37%) is that Eren is the father, closely followed by those who believe he is not the father (34.4%). Some are unsure what to make of the situation (18.2%), and some of you don’t care enough to speculate (10.4%).

there is a TON of hints, him being the father makes prefect sense.

i will bet on my freedom that eren is the father

Historia x Eren ftw!

Eren being the father would be the most meaningful for both the story, as well as for Eren and Historia and their chemistry together if you ask me, though I can accept otherwise.

Whoever disagrees eren is the father doesn't read the manga seriously

I have not any positive thoughts about Eren-Historia's flashback. Just pain, I feel pain for her. I don't get the point to destroy her character like that.

I really hope Eren isn’t the father — it just doesn’t seem right.

I don't believe Eren is the father since it will contradict what he said to Zeke: "I'm only left with 4 years"

Sorry shippers, I don't think we'll ever get a straight answer about who's the father. But I kinda prefer it that way, because then we'll each get to decide what we thinks is correct.

IF YOU DONT STOP THIS I WANNA MAKE BABIES WITH YOU

Still don't care about who's the father

Who is the father?

  HOW HAVE YOUR FEELINGS ON THIS CHANGED DUE TO THIS CHAPTER?

35% went into the chapter thinking Eren was not the father and 30% believing he was, with this chapter doing nothing to change their minds. For those who were affected, this chapter influenced 14.2% to join the team #DaddyEren and 5.6% to burn their membership card. The remaining 15% don’t care enough to speculate.

If Eren is the father, I think it's possible Historia wanted his baby to keep a part of him with her after the rumbling is over, or perhaps it was an attempt to make him want to come back when he's done or even not commit genocide.

why does everyone keep saying Eren is the Father confirmed? There is literally no evidence to support that, and it actually contradicts Erens statement when Zeke discusses Mikasas feelings towards him.

I just want Eren to be the father

Historia's pregnancy smacks of her own plan but I'm not sure Eren is on board with it.

I want confirmation on the father cause if it's not eren ima be pissed off

don't care who the father is, whole world is ending.

I can't stand the mystery surrounding Historia's pregnancy anymore, this is worse than serum bowl.

WHO THE FUCK IS THE FATHER

  SO THEN WHAT'S THE REAL DEAL WITH HISTORIA'S PREGNANCY?

“What’s the deal with Historia’s pregnancy?” Jerry Seinfeld asks. But we cannot answer – we can only sustain ourselves on memes and ship wars. Despite Eren and Historia’s somewhat uneasy conversation, a solid third of you are still pretty sure that Eren is the baby’s father. A little over a fifth of you think she did the dirty with Farmer-kun instead. And another fifth is convinced something else is going on (watermelon baby?), but aren’t sure what. Some of you scream to the sky, sick of all the drama. And a few of you wouldn’t rule out a baby created through PATHS. It might be Ymir’s doing! No, not that Ymir. THAT Ymir.

Historia is playing 5d chess I just know it. I just don't know how yet

Why'd Historia act like that if Eren wasn't the father?

ymir is the father

Eren has to be the father for the good dev of eren & historia characters

I really hope the pregnancy thing is just a red herring, but it wouldn't be the first-time Isayama appealed to fan-service if not.

If I see more speculation on whether Eren is the father I'm gonna puke. I mean how about focus on the real story? Like how the world is about to be destroyed??

We need more Historia. We literally need her POV for the story to make sense right now. I can't believe that with ""5% of the plot"" left Isayama is *still* pulling this all this time? There *has* to be more.

I always knew Mikasa was the father

  WHY DO YOU THINK HISTORIA IS PROPOSING A PREGNANCY?

Despite a majority of respondents believing the pregnancy is authentic, there is no consensus as to why Historia would propose it. The most popular answer when asked was “I don’t know” (32.2%). The remainder of the fandom is split between Historia proposing the pregnancy in support of Eren (23.1%), as part of an alternative plan (21%) or as an act of defiance against Eren (17.6%). Only a small percentage (6.1%) believe she actually wants a child.

What the hell is the pregnancy for? It doesnt make any sense for Historia to suggest that all of a sudden

How did getting eren and historia's conversation make things more confusing😔Like what went through historia's mind when she thought of having a baby i-

What if the "what if I have a child" scene with Historia actually happened EARLIER than the rest of the conversation? It would explain why they switched places, and if Eren really is the father, would explain why he feels he has such a say in Historia's child's future ("even if you agree, I don't" ) , and why when he spoke about the MPs he said "WE have two options: fight or run". It would also give him a  motivation to oppose his friends, since they are trying to stop him.

I don't see his conversation with Historia in romantic light. She was scared of him and Eren was trying to manipulate her with her own words about being ""the worst girl on the world"". We still miss some important parts of their conversation, but if she agreed to help him because he reminded her how ""the worst girl"" she was, then I would be very disappointed. I saw her as strong woman and I hope she will not turn to be a mild sheep who isn't brave enough to follow Ymir's wish and ""live her life with pride"" (or ""live sticking her chest out"").

I have no idea for which purpose Historia want to become pregnant, but I'm glad that I was right that she decide it for herself and doesn't get forced at all!

Historia has a trick up her sleeve and I can't wait to see what it is.

  WE LEARNED WHAT ZEKE REALLY TOLD EREN ABOUT THE ACKERBOND. ARE YOU SATISFIED WITH EVERYTHING WE HAVE LEARNED ABOUT THE ACKERMAN CLAN?

75% of the fandom wants more resolution to the Ackermysteries with 38.4% wanting MOAR and 32.3% wanting at least a little more. Only 22.3% are satisfied with the ackercrumbs we’ve been tossed and 7% have no opinion.

love guru zook

ackerman bond means LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!! sweet for all ackerman related shippers ohhhh

I'm satisfied to see yet another example of people trying to pin eren's BS onto zeke (with the ackerman theories) be proven completely wrong

Mikasa's charachter wouldve been a lot more interesting if her ackerman genes had an effect on her decision making and her trying to overcome them would be a lot more intriguing to see. Instead it turned out to be some lovey dovey pancake bullshit. I mean what would Zeke even know about Mikasa??

WHAT IS UP WITH HISTORIAS PREGNANCY AND ACKERMANS BLOOD AHHHHH

I think the fact that the Ackermans can access the Paths without being shifters is going to be super relevant. My pet theory is that Mikasa will be able to cross into the Paths dimension to kill Eren and truly free Ymir Fritz, but let's see how that goes.

  HOW ACCURATE WAS ZEKE'S ASSESSMENT OF MIKASA'S FEELINGS TOWARD EREN?

One of the few areas of agreement in this chapter was with Zeke’s assessment of Mikasa’s feelings towards Eren. Close to 80% think that despite having never met Mikasa in person, Zeke correctly understands that Mikasa’s concern for Eren has little to do with genetics and everything to do with reasons of the heart. However, the majority of people who took the option of writing in their answer cited both as a factor in Mikasa’s bond.

Eren, when your sadistic and bloodthirsty big bro can see how much Mikasa loves you, you probably should take it seriously lol

Zeke. Is. Big. Bro

He's a lying liar who lies.

usually when panels sway to the right, they are true, so I believe this is the case.

Did anybody honestly not already know this? We learned nothing new from this as far as I'm concerned.

Mikasa really cares for Eren but the Ackerman genes amplify her love for him.

Everybody's emotional attachments have some basis in biology. It doesn't make them any less real or meaningful

we learn Zeke ships eremika 🤔unexpected but naice

The ackerman blood does boost her physical abilities but i believe it doesn't affect her mentally (she probably has ptsd and seperation anxiety)

What is between Eren and Mikasa?There is something we still Dont know.I wish for more Mikasa....

I think the bond itself is clearly related to her trauma but the intensity of it probably has more to do with her Ackerman genes

Both ? Even tho Ackerman genes could have a big part in it

I think Mikasa loves Eren but it's not JUST romantic or JUST familial.

Her devotion is strong on its own- but her Ackerman abilities definitely have played a role in her saving his ass all these years.

Very accurate, he is Love Master Zook.

Only  a fool believe that shit regarding Ackerman bonds and so on. [...] The hate speech I believe is some kind of Eren pathetic attempt to release her of her feelings towards himself, just in case the worst scenario is coming up in not too far future.

The Ackerman instincts amplified her love towards Eren.

Zeke was right [...] As much as Mikasa being ready to snap titans necks in two for Eren is due to her love for him, Eren being willing to go through with a world genocide to prevent Historia's sacrifice definitely results from his love for her.

  HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT THE PLACEMENT OF FLASHBACKS DURING THIS CHAPTER?

The majority of the fandom really enjoyed the inception-like flashbacks, but 1/5th just found it confusing as all hell. A sixth of the fandom is just fed up with Isayama blue-balling us. We’ve been in this relationship 10+ years, Yams, it’s time for you to give it up!

Loved the interwoven flashbacks, and made sense considering a lot of the "unknown" conversations(Eren with Yelena, Floch, Historia....) all tie into each other. Made sense to them like this, and plus there is still some mystery from his talk with Historia.

E-H convo should've been shown months ago; now is not the time for flashbacks.

Just Yams trolling the shippers

The confusing flashbacks also reflect Eren's state of mind. The placement was well done.

I don't mind it, but i feel Isayama was, to a certain degree, struggling to work all of this information organically into the story, so he was forced to choose this flashback method to get it out there.

The juxtaposition is very purposeful, while I don’t necessarily like what it implies, it is indeed impactful.

The way the flashbacks were placed would look amazing in the anime, but in manga format it looks a lot more confusing!

People might say this is Isayama being mysterious and showing us everything but revealing nothing as he always does, and yeah and if this was 10 chapters ago I might see that as a positive, but this late into the series it feels like it was just a waste of a chapter.

They were good because they connected with each-other; though I had to reread the chapter several times to distinguish who was talking because it flipped so much.

These kinds of chapters are slightly annoying in the moment, but are more than worth it in the long run.

The Historia flashbacks are confusing af

  WHAT IS THE MEANING BEHIND EREN IMPLYING HE "WANTED THIS", REGARDING THE FUTURE OF THE RUMBLING?

Continuing Eren’s ongoing theme of the question of free will and determinism, this chapter presented us with the possibility that Eren wanted everything that has happened from the start. Depending on your interpretation, of course. The majority of respondents to this question (54.7%) believe that Eren has been convincing himself there was no other possible future due to seeing said future play out in front of his very eyes, and 17.1% somewhat similarly believe Eren did not want this in the conventional sense, and he is an unreliable narrator. A smaller 12% believe this is confirmation that Eren’s vengeful nature caused this, closely followed by 9.5% of you who just think he is a lunatic.

Despite him talking as if this future was fated to happen he still seems aware enough that his own decisions still led to this outcome. From his perspective  all of this was meant to happen because he already saw his future memories, but he doesnt deny that the path he took was still by his own will.

Eren said from the start he would, "destroy them all." He hated being a slave. I think he *does want this. He wants whatever will guarantee freedom.

Both future can't be changed AND Eren is a fucking lunatic

Even if the future could be changed Eren preferred the full rumbling

He literally had no option from the very beginning , his actions is definitely justified .

it's probably all the attack titan's will, not his.

he's trying to fool himself into thinking he never changed

Eren has accepted that the future cannot be changed, and has realized that the unchangeable future is the future that he has always wanted

Eren is so close-minded & immature

I've given up trying to understand Eren's logic. It's just too bizarre. I will wait until the story is finished to form any opinion about him.

Eren was bored in his original universe and wanted humanity to have a threat so he made the aot universe via Ymir and became that threat himself.

Even if a significant part of Eren wants to eradicate his enemies out of rage/revenge, really deep down it’s been shown he wishes there was another solution but right now he doesn’t want to admit he’s surrendered to his destiny. So Isayama’s going to come back to this by having Eren admit to himself he isn’t really free/this isn't what he wants, which will be the culmination of his character arc (what will he do then?…).

Eren kinda forgot about the mothers

  THIS BURST OF PANELS SHOWS A VARIETY OF SCENES FROM EREN'S POV, BUT SOME SCENES APPEAR TO BE FROM A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE OR ENTIRELY NEW SCENES. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

Nearly 45% of the people who voted, thought it was a deus ex machina move from Founding Titan by Proxy, which granted Eren a glimpse at all Eldians’ memories. Almost a third think that Eren was actually able to control their memories. 14% of all voters are just “wtf…? I dunno” at all the Pathsnanigans.

I don't know and I don't like it. Hope it isn't another pathsfuckery while all I want in life is KRUEGER'S POV.

Eren's path shit also implies the story has always been bending to that moment too. From the pigs, to even Dina from that Bert shard. If it's ever revealed he orchestrated Carla's death to stimulate Grisha and Eren's hatred, the whole demonisation of RBA gets turned on his head.

I don't like the idea that Eren controlled the Smiling Titan but it's starting to feel more and more likely...

The second one except it WILL come up again cause it’s fucking Isayama like tf do you expect lmao

The new POV scenes are definitely intentional but I hope the explanation isn't some magical PATHS stuff where he orchestrated characters (like Dina's) actions or is suddenly an all-seeing almighty being. Grisha was enough pls.

DUDE, THIS MEANS THAT BIRD HAS P A T H S!

dumb answer choice

FT/Ymir lets Eren see the memories of all Eldians. It will come up again. I don't get some of the angles/perspectives though.

It's possible some of these things haven't happened yet, or that Eren has access to the memories of more shifters somehow. For example, Berthold might be a memory Annie or Reiner have and Eren will receive if he eats one of them while they try to stop him.

I have absolutely no idea what the deal is with the Falco and Bertolt memories but I'm sure they're not inconsistency errors considering the care that went into showing that the Mikasa/Grisha/Levi etc. panels are clearly from Eren's POV. I expect answers really soon (and no, I do not think he controlled Dina’s titan to kill Carla, that would be pure character assassination). Hange's panel looks like it's from the future, as well as Mikasa's unfamous 'see you later'. The geese are also interesting but I have no mindblowing theories about them unfortunately..

Excited to see from where Hange without glasses memories from though.

Eren is the air, the trees, the birbs, everything

Marcel is more like to come back from the dead before I ever understand half the shit inside Eren’s head.

If Eren somehow got his mother killed that'll be the ultimate bruh moment

  THIS CHAPTER SHOWED US ANOTHER MEMORY OF FEZ-KUN, FINDING HIMSELF IN TROUBLE AGAIN. WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE MEANING BEHIND HIS HIDDEN STORY?

The mystery of the Fez persists once again, with this being the tenth chapter since he was first shown. Though by a small margin, the consensus is that the purpose of his story is to reaffirm Eren’s determination to wipe out the world at 44.8%, with 33.4% of respondents believing he will be a tie to Eren’s compassion and remorse for what he is doing, and 17.1% believing it highlights Eren’s inherent hypocrisy for caring for him even though he will die by his actions later. Many write-in options expressed confusion at who this kid is.

Eren believes that suffering and oppression of minorities will never end just by small acts of kindness and simular "passive" acts, like what Levi did, it does not provide a long term solution or prevent Fez-kun'sfrom furder torments, which is why Eren feels like the extreme solution of the rumbling is his only option

Eren gave a mission to Fez-kun

Eren using another kid to get his way without caring about his life. What else is new.

He's the "even someone on the street" part of Kruger's advice to love someone to break the cycle of tragedy.

He’s showing that little boy he has to fight to survive, like he did with Mikasa when they were kids.

I think he found himself in trouble again (he looks to be bruised on the cheek in 120) and Eren will come to his rescue. However I think Eren will not just save him by beating up or killing the Marleyans, but inspiring the Fez kid to take action and "fight" just like he did with Mikasa. This arc has had a lot of focus on the almost inhumane level of violence Eren showed as a kid when killing those kidnappers, so I can see that being for the purpose of a direct parallel where Eren pressured the kid with the fez to stand up for himself.

I think Eren saved Fez-kun of those guys, but then he will kill him later, showing his own hypocrisy (those guys can't do bad to a child but I can).

I expect his shard(s) to contrast the other previously unknown panel from 120: Historia’s shard was revealed to be yet another instance of Eren manipulating a friend by putting his desires above her own, thus robbing her of her free-will. I hope that Fez-kun symbolizes the "beauty in a cruel world"

It show that Eren just have an other plan and not just kill everyone for no reason???? Lest not be that blind :) what esle u want to understund thats an option too? you want isayama to told u?

maybe eren intends for some people to escape when he announced the rumbling which allows people to prepare themselves, idk.

Eren will save their family and he told Fez to lead his family to a certain location that the rumbling won't reach?

What are all these crappy options? He represents Eren’s journey to changing his viewpoint about everyone being an enemy, as he told Reiner.

Just thought he was part of the collage of events, no further meaning.

Who’s Fez-kun

  SWIMMING TITANS?

88% of you welcome your Swimming Titan overlords, but 12% aren’t so convinced - there’s a pretty even chance it’s because the image is just too absurd, too terrifying, or a pants-wetting combination of both.

SWIMMING TITANS

swimming titans

Seeing those colossal titans was crazy

The panel of the titan swimming underneath that ship haunts me in my dreams.

HELL YEAH FUCKING SWIMMING TITANS

  WHEN THE MILITARY SIGHTS ERENSAURUS AT THE END, RATHER THAN CALLING IT THE FOUNDING TITAN OR EREN JAEGER, THEY RECOGNISE IT AS THE ATTACK TITAN. WHY?

Despite the threat of Eren Jaeger previously being referred to by name or as “the Founding Titan”, this chapter encapsulated the horror of the allied forces as they recognised it as the Attack Titan. The plurality (40.3%) is that this was just for the purpose of Isayama being able to drop a “Shingeki no Kyojin” in this climactic chapter, though a close second option (34%) is that there is historical information to distinguish the Attack Titan from the others. 15.2% of you believe the Attack Titan is the Titan Bogeyman for Marleyans, and 10.4% attribute the naming to the fact that it’s attacking them, duh.

I think the Maryleans/World Forces knew it was the Attack Titan bc of the Eldians in Marley (like Annie's dad) warning them ahead of time. I think once they realized The Rumbling was happening, they asked for more deets from the folks who heard Eren's message in the Path's Realm.

I wonder why the rest of the world was only  using Mikasa ships instead of various ships lol

IT CAN'T BE STOPPED ANYMORE

  NOW THAT WE FINALLY GOT TO SEE EREN'S SPINE-CHILLING (BADUM-TSS) FORM, WHAT DID YOU THINK?

This manga has turned into a horror show, and y’all seem to be loving it, according to over fifty percent. Thirty percent are aghast at the sight before them, and nearly a tenth of you don’t really know what to think of the Grim Reaper titan yet. Some of you wanted something more fully formed, but this creepy crawly is freaky enough, isn’t it? Let’s just be glad none of us live in Marley right now.

My jaw dropped when I saw Eren’s titan form. Horrific.

I love Erensaurus a lot. This chapter gave the same level of anxiety that Zeke's attack in Shiganshina gave me. Good

YEAH EREN IS SCARY AS FUCK I LOVE IT MORE FREEDOM MORE FREEDOM MORE FREEDOM

Eren's titan looks a little like the earth devil

Did Eren pick the design of his new Titan or did Ymir just give it to him?

Really interested in where it is going especially because Eren's Titan got lips which could be an indicator for it to have the ability to speak

Eren’s Founding Titan form looks like something out of Silent Hill

I'm not saying anything about Eren's titan. What even the actual fuck, Yams

Oh lawd he comin

  WHY IS EREN'S CURRENT TITAN FORM A SKELETON WITH NO FLESH?

Eren is looking awfully spooky right now. That’s a good sign, isn’t it? I guess looking like a death metal album cover is better than looking like whatever Rod Reiss was supposed to be. 34.9% figure that as this is probably the largest titan ever, it’s just too big for flesh. It’s not like PATHS sand is infinite, after all. 34.6% think that the form is incomplete because of the missing titan powers; this is only a third of his potential scariness! 23% think there’s no real reason he looks like this. Not an in-story reason anyway. Finally, 7.6% think Eren is still not done forming this devilish beast.

Eren's upper skeleton body thing looks like wings of freedom...

The reason Eren's body was like this, if he was muscular, he would radiate a lot of heat, so the Allience's couldn't reach him. But now, no muscle, no heat. They can reach easily.

Eren's form is creepy as hell! I also think he might be dead/dying/the titan now.

Seriously, how the fuck does Eren's Titan move?

When a shifter generates a titan body, they need to have a special task or purpose in mind. Is Eren's titan meant to be a bridge between Paradis Island and the continent?

  WHAT IS ISAYAMA TRYING TO SAY WITH THE PUPPET-LIKE MOTIF OF EREN'S TITAN?

Many have noticed the puppet-like strings connecting Eren’s torso and head to his stegosaurus spikes in the final panel (though not in the first shot we get of Eren -- we’ll just ignore that), but what does it mean? Him being a slave to himself (38%) just edged out him being a slave to fate (36.7%), with a slim minority (3.3%) believing Ymir could be the true puppeteer. Of course, there are the 21.9% of you who are remaining steadfast in the belief that Eren is NOT a slave, he is FREE.

He is a slave to the future memories and instead of trying to find a different way, he is convincing himself that this is what he wants from the start to compensate for how little freedom he has.

He's trying to justify to himself that he isn't a slave

Eren is a slave to that sweet sweet feeling of self-righteous rage.

Ymir might be acting through Eren.

I think eren has become a vessel for ymir and it's ymirs will that we're hearing.

  WHERE IS EREN'S HUMAN BODY MOST LIKELY RESIDING?

The results for this are a mixed bag, with the three most popular answers extremely close in votes. It’s most agreed upon (29.1%) that Eren has no human form, and has merged with the Titan on some level, with a close second (28.8%) being him being separated from the Titan but not in the conventional sense, and using the Warhammer Titan power to operate it from the ocean. 27.9% of you believe he is in the standard position of the nape, and only 14.2% of you believe the head of the Attack Titan could be his true location.

So, does Eren now only have his head left or was he fully healed thanks to Ymir?

where is Eren (No,not his titan)? There is no nape on that thing, just bone

I NEED TO KNOW HOW EREN IS TRANSPORTING HIMSELF

  THE CHAPTER ENDS WITH CHILD EREN'S DETERMINATION TO "DESTROY THEM" OVERLAPPING WITH ADULT EREN COMMANDING THE RUMBLING. WHICH STATEMENT IS THE MOST ACCURATE REGARDING THIS COMPARISON?

This curious panelling choice ends the chapter, giving us a peek at Eren’s inner monologue – but in true Isayama fashion it’s not clear exactly what it means. 45.6% believe it shows that Eren hasn’t fundamentally changed the way he views the world, his will and titan powers giving him the means to influence it. 26.4% think it’s a reminder of Eren’s tragic tendency to believe that peace cannot exist without the complete elimination of an opposing force. 16.8% think it demonstrates Eren’s willing or unwilling continuation of the cycle of hatred and revenge. Finally, 9.1% think there’s a hint here that Eren’s childhood self was cursed with thoughts from his future mind.

ALL OF THE ABOVE

All of the above, minus the P A T H S.

I hate eren do the same thing as what he had been through

It's Eren's tendency to lose himself to the desire for vengeance, which in the mange is always depicted as leading to a catastrophe in the end.

His childhood trauma comes back to him when he sees a loved one die / about to die and feels the powerlessness of having been unable to do anything because of being weak. Then pain and anger return for this reason

It's a parallel showing his determination to fight back against those who would deny he and his comrades their freedom.

It is once again Eren reassuring himself he's doing what's right, by telling himself that the cycle of hatred is what's causing this and that he needs to break it

The thoughts are child Eren, simply overlapping with the current situation. It may not be adult Eren’s thoughts.

THIS BITCH CRAZY.

I just want to say that the history is repeating its self . What we thought it was the past it's actually the future

He is using this memory of his mother being eaten to motivate himself, like a main drive. It's not the first time. Anger/Rage was always the main drive that he used to keep fighting/seeking for freedom

This is already similar to some of the options presented, but I like the idea that this is showing deep down he is driven by his childlike rage, and as much as he tries to convince himself it's for his friends, he really just wants to revel in violence because he's broken and he thinks wiping everyone out is the only way he will be at peace.

  THIS CHAPTER ALSO PRESENTED US WITH TWO ALMOST DICHOTOMIC MOTIVATIONS FOR EREN, BETWEEN LOVE FOR HIS FRIENDS AND HATE FOR THE ENEMY, BUT WHICH DO YOU BELIEVE IS THE STRONGER DRIVING FORCE?

The two most powerful and conflicting emotions driving Eren right now have the fanbase somewhat split over what pushes him further. It seems that most are optimistic about Eren’s prime motivation being the wellbeing of his friends at 59.7%. Meanwhile 40.3% believe that Eren’s love for his friends has been eclipsed by the roiling hatred and thirst for vengeance within him. Even at this point in the story, it’s hard to be absolutely certain – safe to say Eren is a real menace when he feels this strongly about anything.

I feel like I finally fully understand Eren's mindset, even though there is probably still more to his POV. He just wants his friends to be happy and live long lives, so he had to push them away especially after Sasha's death.

This chapter Eren can't disentangle love from fear/hate/loss due to what happened to his mother, which is why his feelings about his friends now manifest so destructively.

Eren's memory chain went from remembering his friends smiling, to Sasha's death and Fez-kun being beat up, and eventually to his mother's death and his vow to kill all titans, showing that deep down he knows his motivation to protect his friends is bullshit and that his "enemies" are mostly innocents, but he keeps moving forward due to hatred and revenge.

Eren has never healed his trauma. It was "eating" him slowly and turned him into this he hated the most - a devilish monster.

I think the chapter settled very well that revenge surpass even his wish of protect his friends

The transition to Eren's pov and the fact we didn't learn anything new beside some basic confirmations, is really strange. And if Eren ends killing the friends he wanted to protect, he will be a complete disappointment. I really am afraid of SnK's ending.

"I want my friends to live long happy lives" he says after treating them like shit, breaking their spirit, and partially ruining their home island with millions of titans. I hope he doesn't act surprised when they show up to stop him (assuming they can catch up of course).

I don't believe the word "animals" align with Eren's current perspective, nor how he sees his "enemies". He holds the same ideals as he did as a child, but realises the nuance of his enemies and how people on both sides are ultimately the same. He just believes this radical action is the only necessary way to end an unstoppable inter-generational conflict in his lifetime so these problems aren't handed down to future generations anymore.

he's being driven both by hatred and love, but right now his rage is winning and he's using the safety of his friends and Eldia as an excuse to appease his conscience.

  ON A SCALE FROM "SECRET PLAN" TO "KILL 'EM ALL", WHERE DO YOU STAND ON EREN'S TRUE INTENTIONS?

This chapter all but confirmed that Eren indeed plans to wipe out the entire outside world for most of the fandom. The majority are skewed towards the opinion of Eren definitely rumbling everything, with less and less respondents holding onto hope that Eren has an alternate plan.

Eren wants this rumbling and he's ready to sacrifice others to get what he wants, even his friends.

I gotta say, I thought Eren would've had a real plan that wasn't just massacring everyone else on the planet. I was already against the plan, but I suspected he'd walk the other side of the ocean and then announce to the world that the existence of titans was no more and destroy all the titans as proof, and all the shifters would just be normal people again.

His goal is to wipe the titans out of this world, and not to flatten it.

I support the rumbling, cause Marley deserved this by trying to eliminate Paradis, but at the same time there are so many good people there(including eldians themselves) that haven't done anything wrong. Military and leaders of marley should be eliminated, but not the poor people that had no choice.

This hateful world is needed to be purged and I support Eren for this. And when Rumbling is over that beast piece of sh** must die by Levi's hand.

I thought eren had a secret plan for the rumbling but after getting his pov this chapter looks like he really is going for it

Somehow, I can't shake off the feeling that we still haven't seen 100% of Eren's plan, there is still some twist waiting. I am not trying to justify Eren's current actions, it's more like ""if there is something that will throw this whole scenario upside down it better come up soon, because right now IT DOESN'T LOOK GOOD"".

I want to believe thtat Eren has a secret plan in the rumbling but the chapter says that this is what he wanted, he had always been like this, he was always “free” sadly, he’s enslaved by his beliefs of freedom that he resorts to these drastic measures.

I think that this chapter confirms two things: one, the Rumbling is Eren's true plan [...] BUT two, there is "something beyond that hell", which is the "scenery" Eren says he saw in ch. 121. I think it's the endgame after the Rumbling is stopped (no way is it going to be completed), and it's what caused both Grisha and Historia to go along with his plan in the end even though they didn't agree with it and thought it was awful. Eren's "everything is still ahead" and the weird cut in Historia's flashback are too... strange and seem to point to this being a game changer and the final plot point of the series.

If the rumble will succeed, then I've spent 7 chapters seeing characters do nothing to accomplish nothing. I don't wanna feel my time wasted.

I unironically want Eren to kill everyone outside the walls. Nuff said.

  WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THE REPEATED BIRD IMAGERY?

Birds are a focal point of this chapter, with the combination of a four-panel tracking of a soaring seagull and a flash of a memory of some nearby geese. The majority of respondents (62.5%) believe the birds simply tie into the theme of, and likely Eren’s motivation of freedom. In a distant second (20.9%) is the answer that it relates to the idea of everyone being connected under the same sky, a fitting motif amidst this chapter’s exploration of the conflict as well as unity of different groups. 12.7% of you are hopping on board the “Eren is a bird now” train, and 4% of you just really don’t like birds.

The two birds from the Paths panels appear in episode 1 of the anime iirc, not sure about the manga though.

Eren is bird confirmed thank  <°^°>

I like the Bird Theory that says he’s transferring his consciousness to a bird. yeah it sounds a bit odd but it’s interesting and I’m willing to accept anything at this point

The birds are secret surveillance cameras

I like birds

idk man this shit is confusing as hell.as for falco thing i think eren has become the bird. anything can happen at this point.

Eren is the Eagle we see in the chapter 91 that Falco says to fly away lmao

  THIS CHAPTER HAD SOME AMAZING ART, SHOWCASED IN THE MANY DOUBLE SPREADS (EXACTLY 9... OH GOD WHAT DOES IT MEAN ISAYAMA??) WHICH WAS YOUR FAVORITE DOUBLE SPREAD?

Whether it was the break back in May, or Isayama’s dedication to highlighting this chapter’s importance, the art has definitely taken a step up and blown us all away. Though it is very split, the final double spread showcasing the commencing of the rumbling garnered the most votes (18.2%). At second (15.7%) was the imposing silhouettes of colossal titans rising from the ocean, and at a very close third (15.5%) was the very next spread, of these titans wiping out the battleships as casually as if they were wading through seaweed. If there’s one thing to make of this from what the winners have in common, we have all definitely been waiting to see the rumbling for a while.

Isayama's improvement as an artist it's inspirational.

the art is god tier

Those Rumbling pages are so gorgeous they make me wanna say "Kill them all, Eren ! Destroy the fucking world !"

Mappa has their work cut out for themselves

MAPPA's fucked lol I hope they're up to the task.

That Attack Titan spread has the single GREATEST bit of shading in this entire manga.

Solid Art, phenomenal design and usage of double spreads

I just wanted to add that this is visually one of the most beautiful chapters I've seen in a while. The colossals, holy shit. I can't wait to see this animated. All of those double-page spreads were pretty fantastic but I have to say there's nothing quite like the chill that runs down your spine when you see all those colossals emerging from the smoke and the mist, where you see for the first time how huge and terrible they are (and also when you realise the first line of defense is already down). I had legit goosebumps.

  CHAPTER 130 MARKS THE END OF A VOLUME, WHICH HAS BEEN FILLED WITH ALLIANCE-FOCUSED CHAPTERS. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS NOW THAT WE'VE FINALLY RETURNED TO EREN?

After six consecutive chapters focusing on the alliance with no Eren, the majority of you (57.6%) are relieved to finally move beyond the alliance, though have enjoyed the recent chapters, with 20.4% being completely over the alliance. 7.4% say they were originally sceptical but the chapters did well to make the alliance likeable to them, and 14.6% are open to more chapters just focused on the alliance.

Please for the love of God more of this and less of the alliance, the alliance was so rushed and as it's continued it hasn't been developed much further beyond plot convenience. The less of that I have to read before I get to read amazing stuff like 130 the better

i wanted more on the alliance, not flashbacks smh

it was something enjoyable after a while. Especially 126 made me grimace all over the volume till 130 came up. Not saying I was waiting for Eren but it was so cheesy.

Eren chapters are written worse than Alliance ones

This chapter single handedly made up for the below average, cringe-inducing chapters 126-129 Alliance bullshit. I have faith Isayama will create a very satisfying ending for this series now.

This chapter was legit a great way to end the volume off, it truly feels like its really the beginning of the end

  DESCRIBE THIS CHAPTER IN ONE WORD

The top 5 write-ins are below, followed by the average chapter score for each description. This months’ average chapter score was 4.59.

Amazing [4.89]

Epic [4.84]

Eren/Ereh [4.69]

Rumbling [4.46]

Confusing [3.88]

Honorable mention: Ragnarok

We’d also like to mention that there were a lot of write-ins related to genitals and coitus… seems like y’all were really hyped up by that first fanlation >.>

  WHAT ARE YOU MOST HOPING TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER?

Despite this chapter theoretically giving us everything we had hoped for in a while, the responses show that we still want to have WAY MORE answers (34.6%), MORE Historia (16.9%) and MORE rumbling action (14.5%). We’d also like to know where on earth Zeke is and if Floch is going to be the little troublemaker that we know and have strong feelings about. Will the boat make it to Odiha? Will Levi do a thing? Stay tuned!

There's still some mystery that have yet to answer and I want answers

Where the fuck is Zeke

WHERE. IS. LEVI.

i want more eren, historia and zeke. They're interesting. I don't care about the alliance.

"Zekey-dekey-doo, where are you?" ...I'm so done with you guys.

need update on zeke and historia's situation.

I want it to end soon #TeamEren

I expect in the next chapter something more around the alliance and maybe (hopefully) Floch's comeback!

Enough of Hisu, she is just a side character.

Want more Rumbling

All I can say is, I'm beyond anxious to see how the series ends, and it's eating me up inside.

  WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES?

Most of our lovely respondents are rambunctious Redditors as usual, followed by a fair few from the flock on Twitter, distinguished Discorders, and discussors who want for nothing. Then there are some ravishing real-lifers, titillating Tumblrites, ...aaaand the rest (you’re all great). We’re still side-eyeing you Snapchatters though.

  ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE CHAPTER?

Honestly I just wanna let it out, but not on google Poll for obvious reasons

Not about the chapter... but you guys always come up with funny answers that I feel compelled to chose even if it’s not really what I think. I love to answer this. Thank you!

Zeke the relationship expert, huh?

This chapter went through far too many dodgy translations for its own good, and even the official typeset had one big mistake in it even though it conveyed the mood of the convo between Eren and Historia far better than all the others.

this is all so confusing I miss erwin

I don't want genocide to be how this ends.  I believe Isayama doesn't intend a story this complex to send a message that genocide is great.  Considering some of the mindscrews he's already pulled via Paths, I'm hoping the best mindscrew is yet to come.

Reiner was a snacc

Historia the Antifascist Queen

This is the best chapter

this series is so great man

This whole chapter was a certified Bruh moment (in a good way)

This whole chapter was about Eren dehumanising. And he killed his mom. I wouldn't be surprised if he'll eventually want to kill all Eldians and his friends either.

Loved everything except for Historian's forced reluctant pregnancy.

Here's to 3 more weeks

I hope Eren doesn’t love anyone from the series.

I feel like Isayama is still increasing the pressure to help his final plot twist, I’m still lost as I really don’t agree with Eren’s actions while I see the fandom going crazy over him. Maybe I missed something, maybe I’m wrong, maybe I don’t fully understand Eren. This chapter felt good, I don’t hate the Alliance because they’re part of what I think is the right choice for humanity, but we all honestly wanted to know Eren’s thoughts or a bit of it, as we didn’t see him for a while. English isn’t my first language I’m sorry in advance, loved your poll

I honestly have no idea what's going to happen and the whole time I was reading it I was internally screaming.

Ok I know Ymir (the lesbian) has been dead for years but I miss her so much. She was the dad. Forget Farmer-kun, forget Eren, it was all Ymir.

okay no offense but where’s Levi ☹️

One big tease of erens pov and who the father is

One of the best chapter I ever read! Love it!

Didn't expect the Eren POV but welcomed it anyway. We now have confirmation he wanted everything that happened to happen and even the implication he orchestrated the death of his own mother. That's very tasty

Eren's pov has been hidden for too long and right now I don't think the payoff is worth it

eren exhibits bird behavior & he killed his mom 😕

Eren is a bird confirmed or some shit

Eren later takes Ymir's place in Paths as a sacrifice for many years to fix everything, learning everything he needs by traveling around as, say, birds, as needed to send to his past self to guarantee "that scenery"

Eren is in control of more than we previously thought and this shows evidence of a timeloop scenario

Eren can see the future and can probably manipulate the pure titans at different points in time like the Founder does. It's also likely he's gonna fuse with more shifters to visit other pieces of memory.

Eren is able to use the full power of the FT, that why he can see not only his own memories, but also the memories of other Eldians. All of them are connected to him after all.

He will turn into a bird in the end

So exited that we finally got to see Eren in his Founding Titan-like form!!!! Can’t wait for next month (AoT fan from Japan)

Enjoyed the chapter due to a return to debating the morality of the Rumbling, and seeing it in progress. Also tend to enjoy interaction between Eren and Historia. However, I think the chapter is slightly let down by being cryptic. It's hard to tell what is going on with Eren due to how scenes from this issue and others can be interpreted.

nah mate do people actually read this?

This chapter marks something that has changed everyone's thoughts. Not just about Eren, but Annie, Historia, Zeke, etc. We heard them speak differently, and got a few answers to our questions. We got to see that Annie does indeed have emotions. That Historia did not want this. That Annie never really wanted to kill, nor does she want to anymore. That Zeke actually cared for Eren. That the father is most likely farmer-kun. It's one of the best chapters we've had. Each chapter we get, we get closer to the end of this wonderful story. I can't wait to see what Isayama has planned for in the final chapters. Truly hoping for the best!

reiner's tits dammit

Despite the devastation, I now feel like there is meaning hidden beneath the madness

Creepy and interesting chapter. The official translation confirms further that Eren is going to destroy the world. I’m hoping that the next volume shifts focus to Reiner a little more. I’m also excited for more loose ends to be cleared up.

Damn, only 5 more to go before the end of the greatest story of all time

Enjoyed it but I’m really hoping for some more insight into what’s going on with both eren and historia, I’m not a huge fan of the pregnancy subplot

eren just wants to see if marleyans are made of cake

Eren makes the most amazing villain ever. Will go down as one of my favorite characters ever if the story ends how I hope it will.

Everyone forgets Historia saw her dad’s memories without eating him, without being a shifter, and without touching Eren. We’re still waiting for the payoff...

Fantastic chapter, though it felt really short

Floch was Eren's lieutenant all along, he was his representative, and his actions are therefore Eren's responsability all the same. Get fucked those who didn't want to believe that Eren would consciously choose Floch, believe in him or to set things up for Eren in Paradis.

I'd like it if the Ackerbond was not as supernatural as it was claimed before. Not because of EreMika, MikaHisu would be much better than both options of this chapter. Now we know that Levi or Kenny's loyalty were real, and it warms my heart. Also, my bastard wasn't lying! He knew about the plan.

It confirmed everything we already knew: Historia didn't support Eren's plan, Ackerman weren't slaves, Mikasa's feelings for Eren doesn't have to do with the fact she's an Ackerman and the fandom is stupid for still believing Eren is the father despite him literally telling Zeke that he can't answer Mikasa's feelings, because he only has 4 years left to live.

My heart was beating so hard during Eren and Historia's conversation because I just couldn't believe we were actually seeing her again, it had been 2 years since we got anything this relevant from her and I also just really wanted Isayama to get on with it and tell us who the damm father was so that we could finally move on to other things. I still don't believe it's Eren, but I'm done with that theory, man. No more teasing, please. Two years is far more than enough.

Chapters like this one, which perfectly captures the culmination of Eren's entire journey, make me glad to be alive at this moment in time to experience Isayama's masterpiece. I'm not ready for this story to end in just one more volume.

The ending of this story will not be a gentle tapping of the brakes but a screeching halt followed by hydroplaning and crashing into a ditch

What if the rumbling is all one big sex reveal party for Historia's baby and the Colossal Titans are arranging all the corpses into a female symbol or something.

For 8 months I have been waiting for Eren Jaeger. My favorite fictional character ever. He comes back in best way possible, wow.

Great chapter, too bad half of this dumb fandom misunderstood it and are falsely claiming it confirmed Eren as the father. *facepalm*

Obligatory mention that eren is a manipulative bastard and is a little too far gone in his goal

Ambiguity: The chapter. More questions than answers, no way this ends in 4 chapters. Overall we are all going "Wuh?" like Historia after this chapter.

We are being fucked with.

I cry, eren has been one of my favourite characters in the AoT universe

I didn't think it was possible for Eren to get any worse, but he always manages to surprise me.

I don't care about eremika or erehisu. I just need my rivaere (: haha

i don't care for the alliance and the ship-baiting was making me weary. I just want more eren, zeke and historia. They're the interesting ones.

‏I don't know what the end will be but i know it will be sad ending!..We all suffer and I mean the world of AOT and the fans who read manga... I will accept all probabilities and the death of heroes, but please do not make Mikasa kill Eren..I mean after all this love that will kill him .. I read many analyzes of the possibility of this happening and I see it as a very bad and irrational end..It is not logical at all..If you did it, the AOT would be one of the worst deeds and to the landfill..Isayama If you have suffered a lot in your life and childhood, we have also suffered in our lives, but please do not bring this suffering into the AOT world

I dont want this to end @ isayama

I hated what direction this story was taking, now I really hate it.

I just feel Isayama hasn't answered so much stuff yet and has also raised the stakes so high that I can't possibly imagine how the story will end. I believe Mikasa's slowly been established as the character who will defeat Eren, but I have no idea how she'll do it... But at least there were beautiful Mikannie crumbs, so I'm happy af and hope they'll have more scenes together now that Annie's about to give up (I mean, there are parallels™ everywhere when it comes to our wonderful lost girls...)

I just hope it's building up to a really good ending.

i just wanna know what's gona happen next man this shit be driving me crazy

I love everything! I hope floch dies though

I love you eren

I need answers!!!

I need Zook back

I really hope this series doesn’t end with a message like “genocide is necessary for peace” I hope someone stops Eren

I really loved the art and double spreads, and seeing Eren's POV after a while

I think it's the 2nd best chapter we've gotten this arc. The 1st being 123. I loved it. I also think it's putting to rest the secret plan theories regarding Eren. I've made my final prediction for the series. I think it's a tragedy that will end in Eren destroying the world & manipulating everyone's memories except for Historia & Mikasa & a new age for humanity will begin.

I'm so glad my girl's back, but I'm confused as hell. There's definitly more to her meeting with Eren and her choosing to be pregnant, we'll see. Also Zook being a love conselor and having a Ackerman phd was hilarious, I love him even more. Erefloch canon.

If he wanted to protect his friends why didn’t he just forge some Marleyan passport/citizenships for them, god wtf

If you think about it we actually didn’t learn anything that wasn’t already heavily implied

im shook

Isayama gave more than i wanted my heart can't take it.

it was very good thank you for asking

It's finally moving forward (as isayama likes to say)

It’s a good chapter but I still with doubts.

JUST DO IT EREN

Just wanna see ZEKE

Kiyoger Theory!!!!!

l'm glad we got to see a bit from Eren's POV. But I still need more answers ;_; why choose rumbling, Eren??? not looking for justification for his actions here but i just want to know /why/ he did it. Still feel like theres a missing link somewhere tbh.. I just hope the ending of snk wont be a disaster like game of thrones where Daenerys' switch came out of nowhere. At this point I just want the series to end asap, the tension build up is killing me lol.

Leaks for 131 when?

Let’s get rrready to RUMBLEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

Loved seeing the rumbling but I wish we could have gotten more character driven moments

Loved this chapter! I'm glad we finally got to learn more of Eren's POV and finally learn what was Historia's role in all of this (or at least beginning to learn her involvement in the plan). Seeing him initiate the Rumbling was epic. The destruction is about to begin!

my brain is too small to understand some of these theories

Now we know that Eren and Floch just pretending to follow Zeke's plan ever since from the beginning but I want to gain more explanations of Eren's secret plan

Oddly placed Eren flashback, but I'll take it

Something's up. I'm still not convinced we can take any of this at face value.

So many flashbacks were a bit hard to follow, but it really seems like the series is gonna end soon and I’m a bit nervous about how well any ending will play out

thank you Isayama for this masterpiece

THE ART IS JUST AMAZING but for me its so short 😭😭😭

That Eren with mid long hair is baby

the alliance has come together way too fast and theyve only really had 1 dispute so far. there needs to be more conflict to make it more realisitic. I think annie saying that they won't be able to/don't want to kill eren is foreshadowing this.

the Art is amazing but flashback scenes were a little mess

The chapter was full of messy memories, so it symbolized Eren's brain well :)

I think that now I understand Eren better. I used to believe he had some secret plan, but the true was always there - Eren is not any master mind. His plan was simple - destroy the whole world. The trauma he had after losing his mother has never been healed. It was always in him, growing bigger and bigger. He still cares about his friends, but he is also lying to himself saying that ""he is doing the rumbling  because he wants to see them having long, happy life"". He is doing it because his hatred to the ones who are responsible for Carla's death took control over his heart. Eren is adult, young man but deep down he is still the same, hurt crying child who bears painful memories of losing his mother.  

The cycle of war and hatred is saddening. This ain't something fictional, it's something we have always been observing from the earliest human consciousness :(

We all got a big storm comin

We are NOT ready for this shit

we need annie to live longer pls

Well here’s our proof eren is actually going through with the rumbling.

What it would feel like to be Eren right now

what kind of eva BULLSHIT

what the hell is going ON

Where is Floch

where is LEVI

Wheres zeke?

Yams, you're so diabolic. You  just want to make the real-life's rumbling with all that "confusing' ship tease xD

Yooooo, we need more explanation about maybe, everything? But amazing and bomb ass chapter though

[stones-x-bones]

Champlain Falling For You || Mina and Bex

TIMING: Current PARTIES: @drowningisinevitable and @inbextween SUMMARY: Mina takes Bex to the Champlain Falls and they have a nice trip. CONTENT: Domestic Abuse mentions, Soft Repressed Gays

While Champlain Falls was infamous for being a big “make out” or date spot, Bex was aware that there were many other things to do there, as well. It was a sight-seeing spot, after all. It didn't have to be about that. Plus, it was mostly high school kids that came up here for that, because it was here or Hanging Rock and people went missing here much less frequently. Not that they didn’t go missing here, but they usually turned up somewhere else, and there wasn’t really any spot in White Crest where people didn’t go missing. But that wasn’t really the reason Bex was nervous today, as she sat in Mina’s car on the short drive up to the falls. Technically you couldn’t drive all the way up to them, you had to drive to the park entrance and hike from there, but the path was flat enough that she didn’t have to worry too much about not owning a pair of hiking boots. Or the fact that she didn’t have a pair of jeans. She put on some pants that were close enough, and her favorite sweater, since it did still get cooler at nights. And also because it could help cover up the bite on her neck-- she didn’t need Mina worrying about that. Now all she had to do was concentrate hard enough to keep thoughts of wolves and beef jerky out of her head, and everything would be just fine! 

When they pulled up, Bex glanced over at Mina. “You know, I’ve lived here almost all my life and I’ve never been up here. I”m kinda excited to see if it lives up to the hype.” She hopped out of the car and came around to meet Mina, smiling through a random thought that popped into her head that very much wasn’t her own. “Shall we?” Held out her hand.

It was always nice to get out and into nature, Mina always thought. She liked being out in the woods, especially if it meant that she got to be around water, even if she was always a little uncomfortable about that fact. It was just a part of who she was, and it did more harm than good to ignore it. She’d ventured out to Champlain Falls a few times, in her first months in White Crest, only to leave as quickly as she’d arrived. She could usually sense a lot of Fae around. She hoped that wasn’t the case, though, especially since they were going later in the evening, just before sunset. She should be allowed to be excited about this without worrying about something interrupting her and Bex hanging out. She’d had Morgan help her with a picnic, there was supposed to be a nice view of the stars, the weather was nice. She just wanted to enjoy this. 

After parking, Mina got out and went to grab her backpack from the back seat, her boots crunching a bit on old leaves. She took a breath of fresh air, feeling calm and relaxed even with the iron knife sheathed on the side of her thigh, tucked into her boot with her jeans. Slinging the backpack over her shoulders, she brushed down the front of one of her dad’s old flannels, making sure the buttons were done up properly, and gave Bex a smile. “I’ve almost hiked out here a few times, but it was always a bit crowded for my taste.” She took Bex’s hand. “I’m excited, too, though. If nothing else, it’s a nice day for a walk.”

As Mina grabbed her bag and adjusted her shirt, Bex took a moment to take her in. She looked good in a flannel, even if it was a little wrinkled and one side of the collar was flipped up. Bex didn’t own many flannels, and the ones she did own were hidden in the back of her closet. Today she had on some leggings, a turtleneck sweater, and her short pants denim overalls. She hadn’t had a pair of boots, so she’d borrowed a pair of Deirdre’s and they looked clunky on her feet. Not that she minded too much. She squeezed Mina’s hand back, but before they headed out, she reached over and flattened her collar down. “You look nice in this shirt,” she smiled, “I don’t think I’ve seen you wear a flannel before. You should do it more often.” She didn’t know the way up there, and let Mina take the lead as they headed down the path. She could already hear the falls already, as they echoed through the tall trees around them. The air smelled fresh out here, too, and Bex made a mental note to herself that she really needed to get out more. Maybe now that she had someone to go places with it would be easier. Being alone in the forest seemed frightening to her. “You know, I heard people go swimming up here a lot, too. I’d probably only do that if there was like, no one else around, though. I wonder if we’ll see anyone jumping off the cliffs.”

“Has my collar been like that this entire time?” Mina muttered, trying not to appear mortified. “I thought it was fine when we left. Still, I, ah, I appreciate that. I mean, I wear it sometimes. You just usually see me when I’m at school or dressed down in sweats.” She did make a note to maybe start wearing a few more of her flannels, though. There was no telling how many she owned, at this point. She couldn’t help but grin as she looked at Bex, tugging at one of the straps of her overalls to make sure it was firmly in place on the younger girl’s shoulder. “I like your outfit, too. It’s cute.” She started them down the trail, picking out the sounds of water. It was almost a bit like a call, like her body trying to push her in a direction to find a new home. Morgan and Deirdre’s pool was nice. It was fine. It healed her, and it was a place to lay her head and breathe. But it wasn’t a home. Her body wanted nature, not just water but rock and dirt and life. She had to remind herself that wants were not necessities and that she was doing fine, really. “I’ve heard that, too. I’ve thought about coming here for that, cliff diving.” Not around Bex, though. Not when there was the possibility she wouldn’t be able to control herself, even though she was doing better about not going scaly when they stuck their feet in the pool. “It’s a bit cold for swimming, though, for now at least.”

“Not the whole time, probably just when you put your bag on,” Bex grinned. “Fair. Just saying, you could stand to wear it more.” She leaned into Mina as she tugged on her shoulder strap and bumped her shoulder gently. “Why, how sweet of you. I appreciate the compliment,” she said with a wink, stretching out the word appreciate with a hand gesture to go along with it. People always said the appeal of nature was the quietness that came with it, but Bex had never found nature to be that quiet. Maybe it was because there wasn’t enough stuff going on around for her to concentrate on, so, instead, she heard a million and one thoughts inside her own head, instead. “Wait, you wanna try cliff diving? Doesn’t that, like, scare you? I’d be way too afraid to hit a rock, or land wrong on the water and smack something. I don’t know if I could watch you do that.” She winced a little, but looked back over at Mina with a grin. “Oh, yeah, definitely too cold. I get cold really easily anyway. And,” she finished, waggling a finger, “we came here for other things. As long as we make it by sunset, I think we should be okay. I brought my camera, too. For pictures of the waterfall. Don’t worry, I won’t take any of you.” She grinned. “Probably.”

“Well, okay, that makes it a little better.” Mina rolled her eyes. “I try to look semi-professional when I’m teaching a class, you know. But I’ll consider wearing flannels more, if you think they look nice.” She scrunched up her nose a bit as she attempted to hide a smile. “Laying that one on a bit thick, aren’t you?” She pulled her backpack straps up a bit tighter with one hand, the other still holding Bex’s. She felt nice. Happy, even. She wanted this to be something good for both of them, getting out of the house and off campus. “Bex, I’ve been cliff diving before. Quite a lot, actually. Usually if my dad and I would travel to places where there were any sort of waterfalls or steep cliffs, I would jump off. It’s not so scary after the first few times.” It even became something exhilarating, a willingness to let go of control, if only for a moment, and to just exist in the air as she plummeted before she hit the water. There was relief there. “You do get cold pretty easy. Don’t worry. We’re going to make it before sunset.” She looked at Bex, her eyes narrowed a bit. “Probably?” She stuck out her tongue.

“Somehow, I don’t think your students will think any less of you if you wear a flannel to teach,” Bex teased, “because I do think they look nice. Glad to know my opinion means more than your need to impress people like two years younger than you.” She just gave a chagrined smile but didn’t answer the tease. Spending time with Mina felt nice, no matter where they were, but she had to admit, being somewhere that wasn’t Morgan’s felt really nice. She leaned against Mina a little as they walked. “Okay, well, how I was supposed to know, little miss daredevil? Cliff diving is, objectively, frightening. And dangerous. And those are not things you’re allowed to argue with. Knowing my luck, I’d slip right as I went to--” Bex stopped mid sentence as a string of thoughts ricocheted in her head and she frowned. Shut up, Kyle! “Um...what was I saying? Sorry. Jump! Right as I went to jump. Have I mentioned I’m extremely clumsy?” Bex took a moment to glance away, taking in their surroundings. They must’ve been close by now, the water was getting louder and it almost sounded like wind rustling leaves. “Yes, probably. I know you said you hate pictures, but I wanna make memories. Things I can look at again.” Things that could make her happy when it felt like she never could be. “How cold do you think the water is right now?”

“They probably won’t, especially since they’ve watched me stumble in wearing sweatpants and a rather wrinkled shirt from a bar in Berlin after accidentally falling asleep at my desk again a few weeks ago, but still.” Mina didn’t mention that it was one of the nights she’d been scared to go back, afraid that someone was going to tell her that Bex’s sleeping condition had gotten worse. “I do try to maintain some level of professionalism. Flannel shirts scream ‘peer,’ not ‘girl that I should listen to because she’s the one that grades my quizzes.’ But your opinion does mean a great deal to me.” She snorted. “Doesn’t everything about me just scream that I’m a daredevil in all things?” She wasn’t. Mina was a coward. She kept trying to explain that, but it didn’t seem to click. She shot Bex a worried look. Sure, the younger girl tended to ramble (even if Mina would never call it that; besides, she did it, too), but she never spaced out in the middle of a sentence. Mina squeezed her hand to bring her back to the present. “I wouldn’t let you fall, you know. If you ever wanted to do it.” She could smell the water in addition to hearing it, clear and clean and nice. And, thankfully, she couldn’t sense other Fae. This could end up being a nice day, afterall. “Taking pictures of the falls would be memories enough?” she asked hopefully. “I might not even show up on camera, any. You don’t know.” She grinned cheekily, though. “Oh, it’s far too cold for you. I mean, I would be fine, but it’s pretty cold.”

“Oh, wow,” Bex couldn’t help the laugh that came out. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, but picturing you in that, sleep-deprived and standing in front of a bunch of also sleep-deprived kids, is probably one of the funniest things I’ve seen this week. Or, heard. But yes, I’m sure that was very professional of you. What, you don’t wanna be the cool teacher? The one all kids are buds with?” She liked this, this banter between them. She didn’t often feel relaxed or good enough around other people to be this way, but it almost came naturally with Mina. She was just...nice to be around. She chuckled again. “Good to know where I stand, then.” She put her hand up, level with her face. “Your students--” raised her hand above both their heads, “me.” Her boots scraped along the forest floor and she stumbled a little, squeezing Mina’s hand back. “Dammit, see? This is what I get for trying to make jokes. And you are, at least, to me. There’s many things you say you do that would make my heart stop, probably. Cliff diving included. I’d probably only jump if you jumped with me.” Bex rolled her eyes a little. “Oh, ha ha. I know you’re not a vampire-- I know what vampires are like. I’ve seen you in the sunlight.” She poked her in the arm. “What, are you an ice swimmer, too, now? If I would freeze to death, you would, too.” The trees began to part and Bex squinted through the waning light. “Oh! We’re close!” She tugged on Mina’s hand as she took off in a job, dragging the other girl with her. She kind of almost hoped there weren’t too many other people around, it would be nice to just enjoy some time alone with Mina.

“It’s not that funny,” Mina said, but she huffed out a laugh as well. “I was five minutes late and let the class out five minutes early. I couldn’t stop yawning. It was a bad morning. But I don’t really care about being a cool teacher. I think I’m a bit of a mess, really, but no one’s complained, and the students I tutor pass their classes. I’m not trying to be cool, just helpful.” Really, Mina was probably very much not cool. Anti-cool, even. She laughed. “Should you really be surprised that I rate you higher than a bunch of freshmen frat boys?” She steadied Bex subconsciously. “Careful. You know, I don’t think I have the, ah, street cred? That, I don’t think I have enough of that to be fully considered a daredevil. Most of this was all just stuff we all did. The other kids my age. Some of the adults, too, even. My dad preferred to just watch. We didn’t get a lot off days to just enjoy things. If we had a group together and there was a bit of down time, and we were in a nice spot, they took advantage. I didn’t play a lot of games, though.” She nodded, thinking about it. It would be dangerous for Bex, but, if she was there, then Mina could ensure that things went smoothly. “I’d jump with you. And you can’t possibly be certain I’m not a vampire. Maybe I’m a special vampire. Some of them can walk in the sun, you know.” Sometimes, Mina got dangerously close to revealing too much of herself, despite all of her fears that revealing herself would be exactly what she did. She played a dangerous game. Maybe she was a daredevil. “The temperature of the water isn’t the problem, it’s getting out.” She allowed Bex to drag her up, laughing a bit. “Be careful, please! I’d hate for you to actually fall.”

“It’s pretty funny,” Bex pointed out, “but only because I do know how much you usually care about being presentable. And, you know, you might be a mess, but at least you’re a cute mess. That’s a lot more than most of those kids can say. Especially the freshmen frat boys.” She let Mina steady her, let the smile on her face stay bright. Barring anything outrageous, Bex had a good feeling about today. There wasn’t much that could ruin this, even the annoying boy in her head. She thought another shut up, please, for just like, one night. A few hours, even. At him before focusing back on Mina. And stop asking who Mina is! “Street cred is overrated. You’re a daredevil to me, and that’s really all that should matter.” She tilted her head. “Did you run into a lot of other families like you and your dad? That’s, I mean, kinda nice, right? The only time I got to hang out with kids my age was during dinner parties or big meetings where all the parents only wanted to pay one babysitter. I actually met Frank at a dinner party, technically. There wasn’t a lot of time for games when I was a kid, either. Not for um, the same reasons as you, obviously. But I guess my parents thought other things were more important.” She glanced back at Mina. “Oh, no. I wasn’t actually serious. I am not brave enough for that, even if you’re with me.” With her arms around her, holding her. Bex felt her cheeks burn and looked away. “And I do know you’re not a vampire, because you haven’t tried to eat me yet.” She subconsciously scratched at the scabs on her neck. “Can they? Is that a real thing? I’m being careful, I’m always caref--” As if right on cue, the dirt beneath Bex’s foot shifted downhill and she yelped, grabbing for Mina. When she was standing up straight again, she cleared her throat. “Well, I’m usually careful. What was that thing about water temperature you were saying?”

“You’re mocking my pain,” Mina said dramatically, maybe playing up the situation a little. She didn’t get a lot of chances to do things like this, be lighthearted, and she always felt uncomfortable when she tried, but doing this with Bex was easy. Too easy, really, concerningly easy if she thought about it for too long. “Well, in that case, I suppose being a cute mess isn’t that bad.” And if her cheeks were turning a bit red at that, then it was probably because of the weather. “Oh, so your opinion is of the highest order, then? I’ll keep that in mind.” She tried to keep the smile on her face, though it was a bit harder than she would have liked as she shrugged nonchalantly. “We sometimes... the right term is hunted, really, with other families. There’s safety in numbers. But I didn’t fit in too well, so I was kind of odd woman out a lot of the time.” When she was really young, there was a lot of distrust around Mina, especially after she’d almost drowned someone. As she’d gotten older and better trained, she was just disliked on principle, most of the time. It was fine. She was used to it. “Did you like going to dinner parties?” She didn’t want to talk about her childhood anymore. “I think you’re very brave when you put your mind to it.” Mina let her expression turn serious, one eyebrow raised. “How do you know I’m not toying with you? The long game is always more fun. But, yes, some vampires can, though they’re more prone to bloodlust and-- that wasn’t particularly careful!” Briefly, Mina worried if this was a good idea. “I mean, water temperature isn’t that bad for me. Just, getting out when it’s cold. That’s rough.”

“So what if I am?” Bex chided. Somehow, she knew Mina didn’t mind. “My opinion is the most important, actually. You would do well to remember that, you know.” Bex was rarely, if ever, this confident. But Mina just made her feel overwhelmingly so. She could tell, though, that the subject of childhood was wearing on Mina. It was heavy on her, too. “I’d rather be the odd one out than the same carbon copy as everyone else, if I’m being honest.” She shrugged, almost a mirror to Mina’s previous motion. “Not really. They were so boring. All we ever did was sit around and be pretty and act good. As kids, we weren’t supposed to engage in the conversations. I kinda felt like...a decoration.” She scuffed her shoe along the ground and kicked a rock, watching it roll down the hill. Glanced over at Mina, quirking a brow. “Me? Brave? Just cause I didn’t run away from a giant chicken one time does not make me brave. I am ecstatically a coward and relatively okay with it, if it keeps me from being eaten.” It was mostly a truth. She was a coward who could not stand up to her parents, who could not ever reach for what she wanted versus what other people wanted from her, and she most certainly wasn’t someone who ran towards danger to protect other people. Those times had just been flukes. And pure curiosity. “Because you said you’d never lie to me,” Bex answered Mina simply, stopping at the bottom of the hill. The falls were just around the corner, according to the sign. She wanted to take her time in seeing them, to share the experience with Mina. “And so I trust you enough to have told me, if you were.” It was a simple fact. Bex trusted Mina would tell her if she was something like that, something different. She smiled and pointed at the sign. “Anyway, enough of all that. We’re close! Are you ready?”

“Someone could say that it’s cruel, what you’re doing, you know,” Mina said, hand over her heart, but she was laughing. “Oh, of course, your opinion is incredibly important to me. I’ll never forget that.” Wistfully, she added, “I’d really have preferred to fit in, honestly.” She’d really have liked to just be human and treated human, if only for a moment, by the people that she’d grown up with and admired for so long. And feared. And loved. And wished she didn’t. “Well, you’re far more than a decoration. That was silly, of them to treat you like one. And, yes, you. Brave. There’s more to bravery than standing stubbornly in front of a charging creature.” Which was really the only kind of bravery that Mina was capable of, at this point. “There are other types of bravery. And you seem to have no trouble in poking fun at me. That’s an awfully brave thing to do against someone that you’re really not sure isn’t a vampire.” She was smiling, but it turned serious pretty quick. “No, I won’t lie to you.” There was a knot forming in her stomach at Bex’s words, though. She should tell Bex. She should. But the fear that Bex would look at her in fear and disgust and run away from her was too much for even contemplate it. Instead, she squeezed Bex’s hand and looked at the sign. “Absolutely ready. Are you?”

“Some, yes. But you wouldn’t,” Bex pointed out, calling Mina’s bluff. The laugh helped a lot. “Yeah, me too. People just say that to make you feel better. Doesn’t really work, though, does it?” She squeezed Mina’s hand reassuringly, trying to keep her smile from fading to that sad, plastic version of itself. What is a child, but a decoration for their parents? She’d heard her mother say that once before. “I know,” she answered, “I’m a person.” Even if she didn’t feel like one at times. “Well, if you are a vampire, then fine, I’ll accept that I’m brave, laughing in the face of danger. Ha, ha, ha!” she mocked, giving her best Simba from the Lion King impression. It was pretty bad, but she didn’t much care. Mina made her not care about things like that. But enough of those conversations, Bex was ready to find the falls and see if they were as wonderful as people made them out to be. The sun was still peaking just through the trees and it was nearly the perfect angle. “Absolutely,” she agreed, tugging Mina’s hand as she raced around the corner. The roar of the water was so loud at first, Bex wondered if they were somehow in the wrong place. But as they came around the trees, and the falls came into view, she knew absolutely that they were. It almost didn’t look real. It looked magical. Bex swallowed the word down. The water was sparkling with the trickling sunlight, and there was a cloud of mist at the bottom of the falls that almost looked as if it were changing colors. Red to orange to blue and back. The entire grove was surrounded by trees, and shiny rocks, wet from the falls. Suddenly, she understood why people came here to make out. It was kind of a really romantic atmosphere. Her face flushed at the thought as she remembered her hand in Mina’s, glancing at the other girl for a moment, wondering if the sunlight was reflecting as sweetly off her hair as it did the water. “Wow,” she muttered, “to think something like this was hidden in White Crest.”

“Wouldn’t I?” Mina said, sticking her tongue out. She wasn’t even particularly bothered that Bex was calling her out. With anyone else, she’d be a bit worried that someone was picking up on her phrasings, the way she didn’t specify things or responded to questions with more questions. She didn’t mind, though, that Bex seemed to figure her out. “You are a person. A nice and good and kind person that I happen to enjoy spending time with, so, yes. You’re a person.” She poked Bex lightly in the ribs.”It’s rude to laugh at vampires, you know. And, honestly, do I have to be a vampire to be dangerous? I think I’m pretty dangerous.” That came with the territory, with having claws and fangs and an inhuman disposition. Not that she would say that. And, instead of lingering on that thought, she allowed Bex to drag her down the hill, the sound and smell of water filling her head. She was in awe when they finally rounded on the falls. Dark Score Lake was pretty, when it wasn’t a glass filled hole. There was always something dangerous about it, though, something that anyone could feel. Champlain Falls was deceptive, though. Pretty and calm despite the roar of the water. She could see why other Fae were attracted to this place, the way the light shimmered and shifted. She wanted to jump in and just stay there. She heard Bex speak, and she turned to look. Then, she was perfectly fine with where she was. “This is incredible,” she said, looking at Bex. “Remind me to thank Nell for mentioning this place to me.”

Bex had to look away from Mina, because for some reason, she almost felt compelled to close the distance between them and that just wasn’t something she could-- or should-- do. She cleared her throat. “Wait-- Nell told you about this place? Huh.” She wondered why Nell would’ve told Mina to take her here, but she wasn’t going to question it too much. Nell was always telling her to take time off and relax. This must’ve been what she meant. She tugged Mina’s hand. “I wanna go see how cold the water is before we find a place to sit,” she said, eager to look down into the spring and see how far down it really went. To see how crystal clear the water would be. As they headed towards the shore, she looked back at Mina, to their intertwined hands, then back up at her face. “You might be dangerous, but I’m not afraid of you. Even if you are a vampire,” she stated simply, turning to face forward again. “I know you’d never hurt me.” It was, in fact, Bex who would probably end up hurting Mina. Either with magic, or because, eventually, she’d have to return to her normal life. And Mina wasn’t a part of that life, was she? Her hand subconsciously squeezed Mina’s. Maybe she could find a way to hold onto her, maybe she could find a way to hold on to what she’d built outside of that life. She finally let go of Mina’s hand once she reached the edge of the lake and bent down, sticking her hand out to graze the surface. Here, away from the falls, it was smooth and still as glass, rippling out when her fingers broke the illusion. It felt near freezing, but she kept her fingers in, leaning down a little farther to get her entire hand wet. She could see it perfectly under the surface, and the rocks beneath it sitting at the bottom. “I think it might be too cold to stick our feet in,” she said, finally looking back at Mina with a smile, “we’ll have to stick with the pool for now.”

“Yeah, she-- she said it would be a nice place for a picnic,” Mina said. And a nice place to make out. Mina refrained from mentioning that or the tightness it caused in her chest, just like she refused to answer when Nell asked if she wanted to kiss Bex. She did. Want that. Very much so. She tried not to dwell on that fact too much. It wasn’t going to happen. She just didn’t see it happening. She followed Bex to the water and couldn’t help but want to dive in, never come up. The water was clear, and, when she brushed her fingers against the surface, cool, comfortable, to her, really, but all water tended to be comfortable when it wasn’t composed of salt. She swallowed tightly. She could just slip in and stay. Champlain Falls wasn’t a good, permanent place. It was too open, and too many people visited, but it was pretty, and she liked it, and she could acknowledge that she liked it. Again, she would have jumped in if Bex wasn’t there. Instead, she looked at Bex and flicked a bit of water at her. “Too cold for you.” But she took Bex’s hand and pulled her up, moving away from the water. She didn’t even think she wanted to stay, now that another option had presented itself. “I’m fine with that, actually. It’s nice enough to look at, and I packed dinner, so. Maybe another time.” Maybe she could come by herself one night and just stay, just for a bit.

Bex had grown accustomed to understanding the minute expressions people had and what that meant for their mood, their emotions-- with an eye for anger-- and when she looked at Mina it almost seemed as if she felt...a longing. For what, Bex couldn’t be sure, but it had something to do with the water, with the falls. With this place. She shook her head and frowned teasingly when Mina flicked water at her, though, and decided to stow that thought for later. She flicked water back at Mina before taking her hand and standing back up. She brushed her wet hand off on her overalls. “Another time, then,” Bex agreed, stepping in towards Mina as she moved away from the lake and back towards the trail. She paused to look around for what might be a good spot. “Hey, it looks like there’s a trail that goes to the top of the falls. Wanna check it out? We could set up dinner up there, watch the sunset from above?” It seemed like the best possible situation, really. No better spot. “C’mon, it’ll be perfect!” She said excitedly, tugging on both of Mina’s hands as she led them up to the trail that climbed back around the falls and to the top. It was maybe a little steeper than she’d prepared for, but it would be worth it, she decided, to make it up there with Mina. After all, the brochures said there was no spot more beautiful than the top of Champlain Falls in White Crest. She needed to see for herself.

“I’m following you. Carefully, please,” Mina said as she allowed Bex to drag her from the water, up the path, towards the trail. She seemed to do that a lot, let Bex lead her around. There it was again, that tightness, like the knowledge that she knew that she wanted to kiss Bex and knew that she couldn’t have it. So, she decided, she’d settle for this. Really, Mina would take what she could get. She’d never been close to anyone, and certainly not like this. “I think it’s going to be nice,” she added, making sure her footsteps were sure as the pathway got steeper, shifting the weight of her body so that her backpack didn’t attempt to topple her over. The view would be nice, she knew. It would be something enjoyable, and she was doing this with someone whose company she enjoyed, and it was just calming. She felt at peace. She didn’t think she was going to feel at peace anytime this week, not after Frank, not after things constantly seeming to get tense and uncomfortable around every turn. She didn’t know how to talk about things. That was the moral of the story. Mina Fitzroy had a bit of a communication problem. “It’s getting much steeper up here, Ms. Extremely Clumsy. Watch your step.”

“I’m being careful!” Bex said back to Mina, chancing a look. It was silly of her to risk it, but she felt like it was worth it. “And besides, if I fall, I’ve got you to catch me.” Smiled wide at her before she turned back around, intertwining their fingers for a better grip. There was that strange warmth growing inside of her again, pulsing in her veins. She wasn’t all too familiar with it, but it felt a little bit like a feeling she knew despite never, well, knowing. It was how she was supposed to feel towards Frank, how he wanted her to feel, but she knew she couldn’t. She knew it wasn’t possible. She just didn’t want to admit to either of those statements. That she didn’t like Frank and that she did like Mina. Blinking, she shook the thoughts away and slowed her pace so that she was standing beside Mina instead of walking ahead of her. She liked it better here. She could admit that much. That Mina made her feel comfortable and safe. She didn’t feel that way often. Maybe that’s all it was. “I think I...need to go hiking more often,” she huffed out, realizing her breathing was a bit labored. “Can we take a little break? I just need a minute.”

“I will catch you, but let’s not tempt fate, okay?” Mina asked, already worried that she might once again have to save the younger girl from a near fall. But, really, their fingers were laced so tightly together that, if Bex fell, Mina was likely going down right after her. Then, she’d have to figure out a way to make sure Bex didn’t get hurt on the way down. It was fine. It would be fine. She notice a place to sit on the side of the trail and tugged Bex’s hand gently in that direction. “Yeah, we can take a break. I could use a second, too. It’s been awhile since I’ve done a trail this steep. I usually just go a little bit into the woods for a workout.” She moved over to a fallen log and stretched out the leg that had been mauled from the wolf attack, rubbing at her ankle a bit. The bones still hurt, sometimes. If she thought about it too much, the scars felt raw, too. But that was only when she thought about it. She was healed. It was slow, some things were still wrong, but she was healed. It was better than being dead. “You’re welcome to join me when I start back running. I’ll probably do a few laps around Morgan and Deirdre’s neighborhood when I’m there. I used to run a lap around Dark Score every morning before school.”

“Why not? Are you worried?” Bex asked, raising a brow. But she kind of knew she was, weren't they both always? She followed Mina over to the log gratefully and sat down beside her, watching her stretch her leg out. She remembered Mina mentioning she’d been attacked by an animal that had messed up her leg, but Bex suddenly wondered if it wasn’t an animal at all, but, rather, an “animal”. She didn’t feel like bringing that up right now, though. It might ruin the calm happy that had seemed to settle over them. “Depends on what time you go. I have to be in class by 8am, but I usually go to the office for a few hours before class starts. Or, well…” she paused, “I used to.” The sun was beginning to set beyond the hills, but it didn’t really matter. They’d get up there in time. She gently prodded her hand away from Mina’s and dug her camera out of her pocket, turning it on. Aimed down the capture and took a picture of the falls in the distance. She then turned to Mina. “Say cheese?” she asked, giving her her best puppy eyes in hopes the other girl would agree to at least one photo.

“Only a bit,” Mina said, but she had a small smile on her face. She rolled her shoulder blades, adjusting the bag again so that it was comfortable. “I used to go around six. I like early mornings; they’re calmer, usually, and it’s nice to watch as things wake up, teem with life. It was always a good start to the day.” She noticed Bex’s hesitation, and a part of her didn’t want Bex to go back to the office, to her house, to her family. Mina… didn’t know what happened, not really. She was always a bit too scared to ask. What would she do? What could she do? “I can’t believe you got 8 am classes. I thought most undergraduates tried to find ways around those.” She looked a little lost, staring at the camera hesitantly. “Okay,” she said, quietly, before she sat up a bit straighter, her hands folding themselves in her lap. She looked at Bex, then at the camera lens, giving it an unsure smile.

“Liar,” Bex teased. She tilted her head in contemplation as she tapped the top of her camera. “Six isn’t a bad time. I could probably make that work. Most days. Plus,” she looked down at her camera to adjust the settings back to portrait mode instead of landscape, taking her time, “it’d be nice to spend that time with you.” Not that they didn’t spend a lot of time together already. But like now, running around the neighborhood would give them time away from Morgan and Deirdre’s. She lifted the camera again, looking through the aperture, before deciding on a different angle. She turned it around so that the lens faced her and scooted next to Mina. “Selfie,” she grinned, ready to push the button. But right before she pushed it, she turned her head and pressed a kiss to Mina’s cheek. Click. And then she was standing up again, swinging her camera by the string. “Ready to keep going?”

Snorting, Mina said, “Hardly.” She kept shifting, adjusting her hands, crossing and uncrossing her legs. She didn’t like just sitting like this. At one point, after she realized that the camera wasn’t going off, she glared at it for a bit. “I mean, I’m going to have to work myself back up to doing most days, so that’s fine.” She looked away from the camera to Bex, smiling genuinely. “I think that’d be nice, too.” She wouldn’t have asked, otherwise. She’d grown used to doing things like this in a solitary way for over a year, but she wouldn’t mind doing it with Bex. Actually, there was a lot of things that she wouldn’t mind doing with Bex. Maybe that was the scariest part of all of this. She hadn’t expected Bex to turn the camera around, and she hadn’t expected Bex to move closer, and she hadn’t expected Bex to kiss her cheek. Her eyes widened, and she stopped thinking for a moment as she attempted to process what just happened. She couldn’t imagine how embarrassing she must have looked in that picture. How mortifying. “I--” She looked up at Bex, blinking for a second, before she stood. “Right. Ready.”

This time as they walked, Bex would pause every few moments to take a photo. There wasn’t much left to say at this point, but she also didn’t mind the silence. She’d read once that being able to sit in silence with a person was the true sign of comfort. She glanced back at Mina as they approached the top, and the trail began to even out. Finally, she turned to face her fully, putting her arms out in a T-pose. “See? I made it all the way up the trail without falling once! Carefully,” she pointed out, grinning widely. They were just in time, too. The sun was at the perfect angle sitting atop the tree tips, the water was rushing below them, and it was even more peaceful and quiet up here than it had been down at the base. She waited at the top of the hill for Mina to catch up, before holding up her camera. “Go stand by the river,” she instructed with a wave. Her lips were still tingling from when they’d been pressed to Mina’s cheeks, but she chalked it up to the chill setting in.

Mina spent the rest of the walk taking a few deep breaths, holding them, letting them out. She usually did this in the water after a long day, when she needed time to collect her thoughts and figure out her mind, and that was kind of what she was doing, now. Every now and then the clicks of the camera would draw her back to the present, force her to make sure that Bex wasn’t at risk of falling, but she seemed to be holding her own. She grinned as they made it to the top, watching Bex spread her arms wide. “I’m impressed, truly.” She stopped for a bit and just looked. This reminded her of a river in the Black Forest that she’d briefly stayed in, the sound of rushing water, the way that everything seemed peaceful in spite of the noise. She breathed deeply, held it, let it out, her lungs grateful for the wetness of the air filling them. Finally, she walked over to Bex before she was motioned toward the river. “Really?” she asked, but she wasn’t actually complaining. She stuffed her hands into her back pockets and turned to face Bex, an eyebrow raised. “You know, you’re missing the actual sunset pointing that at me.”

“I’m actually kind of impressive,” Bex beamed, holding her camera up to her chest, before backing up a bit and glancing through the focus again. “Really.” She waved Mina so that she was standing in better lighting, glancing back at her. “Sunsets happen every day,” she said dismissively as she clicked the camera a few times. “This--” she put the camera down, gestured between the two of them, then the surroundings, “--this doesn’t.” Finally, she clicked her camera to rest mode and came back over to Mina. “I wanna look over the edge,” she declared, “will you hold me to make sure I don’t fall?” She knew enough of what she was doing, of the things she was asking. She knew what it meant that she’d kissed Mina’s cheek, and she knew well enough what the warm feeling in her stomach was. But she wasn’t ready, yet, to declare those things real. To say they were true. Maybe she just wanted to have a nice time with a friend. A close friend. She held her hand out to Mina. “Please?”

“You are, totally. One hundred percent.” Mina moved like she was told to, only feeling a bit awkward. Or, at least, only a bit more awkward than usual. Still a lot of awkward, but not as much as she was expecting. “Yeah, okay, but you see me just about every day. And this is a special sunset.” But she’d take however many pictures Bex wanted with only minor complaining, at this point. Really, she would, even though it made her horribly uncomfortable and self-conscious. “Yeah, I can do that. Just let me put my bag down away from the edge. Don’t want us to fall and end up losing it. Here, give me your camera unless you want to take pictures.” She moved their stuff over a few feet away to a spot that would be nice to set up when they got done, and walked over to Bex, immediately taking her hand when it was offered. Her eyes innocent, she asked, “Just to make sure, we’re not jumping this time, right? I mean, I would assume not because we’re both a little ill-prepared, clothing wise, but I thought I’d check just in case.”

“Wow, you agreed to that very quickly,” Bex chuckled, watching Mina move about as she set their stuff aside. Bex just smiled at her. “I’d take you over a sunset any day,” was all she said. Held out the camera when Mina offered to put it with the other stuff. She would have considered taking a photo had the idea not totally freaked her out. It was going to be woozy enough just looking, but she wanted to be brave today. She wanted to show Mina that she could be brave. Once Mina took her hand, Bex intertwined their fingers again, holding tightly. It felt as if her hand simply fit there. She met Mina’s gaze. “Oh, god, no. Definitely not jumping today. I already told you I’m way too afraid to do that. I think just looking over the edge is enough. I mostly just wanna be able to say I stood at the top of a waterfall. Bragging rights, really,” she teased, walking slowly over towards the ledge, making sure to keep an even footing the entire time, despite the amount of rocks that were in the way. Finally, she reached the ledge and paused, subconsciously squeezing Mina’s hand tighter as she leaned over. She could see the pool at the bottom from here, but she wanted to see more. She leaned out a little farther and the bottom came into view. Rainbow lights seemed to dance at the bottom of the falls, where they met the lake. Splashing up, flickering in and out. She even swore she saw what looked like a sky beneath it, rippling in the waves underneath. She tilted her head, entranced. Leaned a little farther. She almost wanted to touch it. It was compelling. Maybe there was another world on the other side of it. A place that was less cruel than this one. She hadn’t even realized her foot was nearly over the edge, she didn’t need to worry. Mina would catch her. Mina would pull her back if she was going to fall. She was her safety net.

Instead of answering, Mina stuck her tongue out at Bex. So what if she’d answered fast? There was that tightness again. She was beginning to worry that it might be a permanent thing. She was beginning to worry that this was something that she would want and want and want, and she couldn’t want it because what was she going to do if it was taken from her? She took Bex’s hand and walked over to the edge, and there was something that was comforting about Bex’s hand in hers, and, okay, maybe that was worrying, too. There was no voicing that, though. Instead, she grinned and said, “Bragging rights, of course. Not everyone can say they’ve stood on top of a waterfall.” She bumped her shoulder with Bex’s. “But not everyone can say they’ve jumped from a waterfall, either. Just something to think about.” When they made it to the edge, Mina planted herself firmly. In all honesty, she didn’t particularly like heights. She liked the rush that came from jumping from great heights, but the height itself was dizzying. Still, she looked over the edge a bit, taking in everything. There’s a moment where she just wanted to freeze there, and there’s a moment where she just wanted to let go and fall in, and she thought about it hard, about diving into water so clear she could see the sky. The sky? That was strange. Mina felt Bex tug forward, and she looked down at the younger girl’s foot barely on the edge. “Bex!” She jerked them back from the edge, stumbling and tripping and ending up on her back, the wind knocked out of her and Bex on top of her. Dazedly, she said, “You looked like you were about to fall.”

Mina calling her name made Bex snap from her trance. She turned to look at Mina, but she was already being jerked forward. It felt like it happened in slow motion, really. Mina stumbled, eyes wide, and Bex watched her foot catch on a rock. Her eyes then went to their intertwined hands as she was also pulled down, landing on top of Mina with a soft oof as she did. She had just enough time to put her one hand out and brace herself against the muddy ground so her head didn’t snap forward and smack into Mina’s. Instead, her face was mere inches from Mina’s and her eyes were staring wide and her breath felt like it was stuck in her chest. Ironic, she thought as she looked down at Mina, that after all her slips, Mina was the one to trip. She should get up, really. It looked a little like it might have hurt, or at least winded the poor girl underneath her. But her body was frozen, it would not listen to her when she tried to tell it to move. “Uh huh,” was all she said she stared down at Mina. Why couldn’t she move? There was another impulse in her head, overwriting everything else, all logic. An impulse Bex hadn’t felt in quite a long time. Not since she’d come back to White Crest. She was so entranced with Mina she hardly noticed that the collar of her sweater had shifted down and the scabs she’d been trying to hide were slightly exposed. Or the voice in her head that was shouting JUST KISS HER. She wasn’t even sure if it was her own or Kyle’s. She didn’t really care.

If Mina was asked if she’d like to kiss Bex, in that moment, she would be compelled to tell the truth. Yes, actually, she’d like that very much, please. And she had to force herself to look anywhere but at Bex’s lips. She focused on her eyes, her nose, the strands of hair in her face, her neck. Her neck. There were… Mina sat them up, her hands going to Bex’s collar and shifting it a bit to look at the scabs that were distinctly bite marks, and any thoughts of kissing were completely out of Mina’s mind as dread pooled in her stomach. “What happened? Where did you get those? What did that?” They looked like fangs, so it was unlikely to be a zombie bite, but there were so many creatures that bit and maimed and hurt and killed, and Mina felt absolutely sick to her stomach thinking about all of the possibilities that might have happened, and the look that she gave Bex was pure panic. 

For a moment, Bex was confused. What was what? What did what? Her mind was still trying to catch up to herself. Mina sat them up, tugged at her collar, and that’s when Bex remembered. She stiffened, swatted Mina’s hand away and backed up off her lap. “It’s nothing,” she said quickly, “it’s fine. It was just--” her mind still reeled a little when she thought about it. She was still trying to grasp the fact that vampires were real and that Dani had killed one right in front of her. She swallowed, putting her hand over the marks before readjusting her collar to cover them. The look she gave Mina was one of matching panic, but for a purely different reason. “I-I didn’t wanna worry you. Or Morgan, o-or anyone. Really, though, I’m fine! It happened so quickly, so i-it wasn’t anything bad. Plus there was someone there who helped me. L-like you. A hunter. She saved me.”

Mina pulled her hand back to her chest as if she’d been shocked before she moved away, sitting up properly. “Bex.” It didn’t look like nothing. “Nothing” was a blase term that one didn’t use to describe things as significant as bitemarks. But she swallowed and listened as Bex talked, the stress building up behind her eyes dulling a bit. Bex was fine. Bex was saved by a hunter. The chances of whatever biting Bex being something that was contagious diminished with her mentioning the hunter. Mina knew that it would be unlikely that a hunter would have let Bex walk away if it had been a werewolf bite or a zombie bite. She swallowed and buried that thought deep, deep down. “I’m still worried. I still worry. I’m sure Morgan would worry, too. I think that’s just a general thing at this point.” She started to reach out but thought against it, instead putting her hands in her lap. “I’m glad you’re safe, and that you were helped, and that it’s not--” she choked on the words, “--not anything bad. I just--” would like to know what happened so that I can possibly insure that it never happens again and warn you about things that do this type of thing and give you something to protect yourself and possibly never let you out of my sight again. Deep breath. In. Hold. Out. She was working herself into a state of panic that she could tell, if she didn’t calm down, the stress was going to get to her. “Will you please tell me what happened?”

“Well I don’t need people to worry about me all the time,” Bex snapped back immediately, then bit her tongue. “Sorry, I-- sorry. I just-- I’m not some, like, defenseless little girl.” Like everyone thought she was. “But everyone keeps treating me like I am and I’m not. I’m not.” She wasn’t. She hated the way people looked at her bruises, hated the way people made her feel like she could never understand this world even though she was very obviously a part of it. She settled back on the ground, shoulders slumped. “It was a vampire,” she mumbled finally, “I-- stayed late on campus, in the library, one night last week. She was-- waiting for me outside, I guess. She just jumped me. I was--” Lucky Dani had been there. Had she not been, would Bex be dead right now? Or a vampire, too? Her chest seized. “How was I supposed to know vampires existed if no one tells me anything?” She looked over at Mina, at the sun setting behind her. She scooted closer. “I just didn’t want anyone to worry more than they already do.”

Sometimes, Mina snapped, lashing out with her words. Not a lot, though. She didn’t like to. She was taught to have more control than that. And she could have snapped at Bex, could have told the younger girl that she was going to worry about her regardless, and, maybe, if she didn’t go about getting herself into dangerous situations, then she wouldn’t be treated like a child. Instead, she said, “Okay. You don’t have to apologize. I know you’re not a child.” A vampire. Okay, and it was how long ago? Deep breath. In. Hold. Out. Lovely. She would have turned by this point. And what would Mina have done? Did she even have to ask herself this question? One of her dearest friends was a bloody zombie, for crying out loud. “Right. Vampires. I’m… glad it wasn’t worse. I’ll tell you about vampires. What I know, at least, which isn’t a lot. My dad and I didn’t go after vampires often, unless he thought it was worth it.” She sighed, rubbing at her eyes. “I’m afraid people are going to worry regardless, Bex. If you wait to tell them things, it only gets worse.”

Bex let out a really long breath. She didn’t wanna be talking about this. She wanted to enjoy this evening with Mina and she wanted to watch the sunset with her and she wanted to kiss her, maybe. Maybe. Her heart pumped in her chest again, but instead of answering, she just flopped back on the ground and let her arms splay out. She stared up at the sky, watching as it changed colors, and remembered the sky she’d seen sparkling at the bottom of the waterfall. She wanted to tumble into that world, where maybe things didn’t have to be complicated and magic wasn’t real and Mina didn’t have to suffer. “I don’t need to know about them anymore. The girl who helped me told me about them.” She stayed laying on the ground, but turned her head enough to look at Mina. She could see the worry in her eyes, the strange panic that had been there but was fading. When had they come to care about each other so much? Bex couldn’t remember. Maybe it was after the cockatrice. Maybe it was forever. “Hypocrite,” she said quietly. She looked back up at the sky. “Telling people wouldn’t have changed anything. I still would have been attacked, the vampire still would’ve died, and I still would just feel helpless.” She squinted a little. “Does that cloud look like a dragon to you?”

Instead of moving to lay down, Mina pulled her legs up and sat cross-legged. She put her elbows on her knees and then her head in her hands and just tried to calm down. There was nothing she could do. There was just nothing she could do, and she kept reminding herself about that even though it was rather difficult to remember, especially in that moment. Thinking about their earlier conversation, she blurted out, “I’m not a vampire, I promise.” Granted, at this point, it was pretty obvious that she wasn’t, but still. Sheisse, Bex had been attacked by a vampire. And she’d been joking about that earlier. “That’s-- It’s good you know. Go for the heart if you encounter another one. Or show them holy symbols.” She was explaining anyway, talking too much, even though Bex might already know this. “They don’t like those. And wood is preferable, actually. And if they don’t turn to ash, they’re not dead.” She took a shuddering breath. Calm down, please, just calm down. Be calm. “Sorry. I--” Where was the lie? She was a hypocrite. An actual damn hypocrite. “I know.” She craned her neck up, looking at the sky. “Actually, it looks like-- like a wolpertinger. A-- a rabbit, with a squirrel tail and wings and fangs.” 

“Mina,” Bex said, sitting up finally. There was dirt and leaves in her hair but she didn’t really mind, her ponytail kept most of it away from her face. “I’m fine.” She put her arms out, turned them over then back. “You can check my pulse, if you want.” She scooted a little closer and held her wrist out to Mina, pulling the sleeve up. There were little scabs on her palms from where she’d hit the pavement, healing up, and little white scars dotting her forearm. “I know you’re not a vampire. You don’t have to promise that.” She didn’t really know what else to do. How else to convince Mina she was okay. She wondered if that was even possible right now. “Next time something happens, I’ll tell you, okay? Right away. I promise. I’ll tell you if something happens or even if something almost happens, or if I’m scared something might happen. If that’s what you want. I promise.”

Mina focused on breathing again. “I know you’re not a vampire.” I don’t think the hunter would have let you live. “I would have noticed if you’d gone missing. Turning isn’t instantaneous.” But she took Bex’s hand anyway, rubbing her thumb across Bex’s pulse before lacing their fingers. She needed to calm down. Why was she so upset about something that she couldn’t change? She knew there wasn’t anything that she could do, but she was still so damn upset because she cared. She cared. A lot. Her eyes snapped up to Bex’s as she said “promise.” I release you from those promises. It was on her tongue. It was her immediate response. She hesitated. She hated how bad that made her feel. “No. I release you from those promises. I can’t-- I can’t ask you to do that, not if you don’t want to. I don’t want you to be obligated to tell me something if you don’t want to.”

“Missing?” Bex asked, raising a brow. She hadn’t asked Dani how, exactly, one becomes a vampire, but the idea that turning wasn’t instantaneous made her skin crawl a little. She definitely did not want to become a vampire. Or something else. This world was already trying so hard to change her, she didn’t need a physical change to happen, too. “But I do want to,” she answered, confused by the wording. Why would Mina need to release her from her promise? She knew that they were dangerous. There was still so much she didn’t know. The roar of the falls behind them snapped her back to the present and she looked down at Mina’s hand grasping her own, as if it were a lifeline. “You mean a lot to me, Mina. If-- if there’s something I can do to make you less…” she gestured limply at her, knowing that she was still wrought with panic, “...upset, then I wanna do it. I didn’t know you’d be so upset. I didn’t think...it mattered what happened.” Absently, she put her free hand back over the scabs. “I was...really scared and I didn’t want to think about it again. And I was stupid, again. I didn’t run. I should’ve just run.” 

“We talk and see each other just about every day, and-- and it’s a long process, becoming a vampire,” Mina said. “If I didn’t notice, someone else would. We also wouldn’t have been able to do today.” She was calming down. It was taking her a bit, but she was coming down. She shook her head. “I don’t want you to have to tell me something, even if it gets to the point that you don’t want to. Don’t-- don’t make promises, especially not with me, especially if you’re not one hundred percent sure that you’ll keep it. Otherwise, it’s dangerous.” She rested her forehead against her knee. “I-- I’m not upset? I’m--” scared “I care about you a lot, and I don’t want something to happen to you. That frightens me. I’m not used to-- I’m not good with losing people.” She looked up and tried to smile weakly, but she couldn’t make the muscles work properly. “I’m really not good with losing people, or the prospect of it.” Running wouldn’t have helped this, but Mina didn’t have it in her to say that. “You’re not stupid.”

“I think if I had turned into a vampire, I would’ve had to tell you, anyway,” Bex mused. Mina was curling in on herself and Bex recognized the behavior as something she often did herself. Bex scooted closer still, until she was right in front of Mina, knees touching shins, and prodded her to uncurl, at least a little bit. “But I do know. One hundred percent. And, besides, you said it was only dangerous if the person wanted to use it against me. I know you would never do that. I won’t...say it again, but I’ll keep to myself.” She grabbed both of Mina’s hands and squeezed. “You’re not gonna lose me. Okay? You’re not. I’m not going anywhere. I just got here. And, besides, where else would I go?” At least, not anytime soon. Maybe, though. One day. She’d have to go back home. She’d have to. She wondered what life would be like then. Could she still be Mina’s friend? Could she still feel this way for her? Bex cleared her throat. “I’m a little stupid,” she teased, smiling back at her. She tugged on her hands. “C’mon, the sun is setting soon, and I wanna see what you brought for our picnic.” 

“It might have been just a bit difficult to keep a secret, that’s true.” But Mina was managing to keep the fact that she was completely inhuman a secret pretty well, so who was to say they both weren’t completely oblivious? “It’s dangerous when it can’t be kept, too. Words have a way of hurting people if they aren’t taken seriously, or if someone doesn’t want to keep them, or can’t keep them. That’s why I… released you.” She moved her head up and looked at Bex. “But, no, I wouldn’t do that.” Never. She’d promise to never hurt Bex if she thought she could get away with it. Somehow, she didn’t think she’d be allowed to make that one. She squeezed Bex’s hands back, even if she didn’t really believe the words. If Bex found out what she was, Mina didn’t think Bex would want to stick around. She smiled, small but real. “You’re not… Morgan helped me pack. It’s supposed to all be kosher.”

“Even if that’s true,” Bex started, “It’s worth the risk.” You’re worth the risk. The actual words stuck in her mouth, dry like sandpaper on her tongue. She swallowed them back and went back to pretending that this was somehow normal. “But okay. I won’t promise that then.” She’d just keep the promise to herself. She never wanted to see Mina look at her like that again-- that worry, that fear, that panic-- and she’d do whatever it took to make sure it didn’t. Bex let out a slow breath, then, before standing up and wiping the dirt off her pants as much as she could, before reaching down to grab Mina’s arm and tug her up as well. “I hope you brought a blanket in that bag. No picnic’s complete without one and I’d rather not continue sitting in the mud, as nice as it was.” She’d have stayed there all night if Mina had wanted her to. She came back over to their stuff and picked her camera back up, dusting it off. “All kosher, huh? Do you even know what foods are kosher?” It was nice, though, that MIna had put enough thought into a meal to remember Bex kept kosher. She turned her camera on and flipped to the picture of Mina standing by the falls. Then the one of the two of them on the log. She looked back over to the spot where they’d fallen just a few moments ago and wished she could have rewound time to just before it happened. Remind herself to cover the scabs on her neck. Pretend like they hadn’t been interrupted. She looked back at Mina and just smiled, gentle and soft, pinching at the edges of her eyes. “I’m glad we came up here,” she finally said, “despite...everything else.”

“It is true because I don’t lie, and, no, it’s not worth the risk,” Mina said, simply. “I’m grateful that you won’t. I don’t want you to be bound to something like that.” She didn’t know if Bex understood that she would have to tell Mina if something happened or even if she was just afraid. She would have to, and she wouldn’t be able to keep things to herself, and as much as Mina wanted to know she wasn’t going to take that agency away from Bex. She let herself be pulled up and tried to pull the leaves out of her hair, brush the dirt off her back. “Yes, I packed a blanket.” She’d been informed to pack a blanket. “I also brought one of those battery operated lanterns? Because it is going to get dark soon.” She went over to her bag and started pulling things out: the blanket, the tupperware, the lantern. There was a panel in the back of the bag that, if she needed, there was a much longer, much sharper knife than the one in her boot waiting in case she needed it. “I had to ask what was and wasn’t kosher,” she admitted. “But it should all be right. And vegetarian. Well, yours.” Mina just couldn’t do a completely vegetarian diet. She looked up at Bex and actually smiled. “I’m glad, too. I’m-- I wish I hadn’t freaked out. And tripped. But it’s still been nice.”

Sometimes the language Mina used confused Bex, but so far, she’d tried not to question it too much. It made more sense, now, why she was always so vague and wishy washy about some things, but Bex was finding herself more and more begging to ask the questions she didn’t think Mina wanted to answer. She’d stay quiet for now, though, because the evening had already been interrupted once, and if she did that again, then they’d miss the sunset. So, instead, she helped Mina set up their little picnic, pulling out the lantern and flicking it on, setting it next to the blanket as Mina laid it out. She crawled onto the blanket and started setting up the tupperware, grabbing the silverware and little plastic plates, before settling down next to Mina and handing her one. “And vegetarian? Aww, you remembered.” It was nice to feel remembered. She smiled back at Mina. “I can teach how to tell if something’s kosher, if you want. It’s not hard.” At least, she didn’t think it was. She’d just been raised that way, though. “You know,” she said idly as she scooped some food onto her plate, “I don’t think I minded the fall too much. I do think it’s funny that, after all your warnings about me being careful, you were the one that slipped.” Then, a little quieter, “I also don’t think I...minded that, either. It’s nice to know someone cares enough. To freak out like that.”

“Of course I remembered?” Was Mina expected to forget? “You mentioned it, and I know things like that are important, and I wouldn’t want someone to try and give me something that I couldn’t eat, so I didn’t think you’d enjoy that, either.” She started grabbing her own food, crossing her legs but sitting up straight, no longer attempting to cave in on herself. “Okay, it might not be hard for you to tell if something’s kosher, but I… might have a more difficult time with it, you know. I’m not used to these sorts of things.” She wasn’t used to most sorts of things. It’s fine. She snorted, rolling her eyes a bit. “It’s not funny. You were close to the edge, and I was just trying to make sure you didn’t fall.” And, really, that was something that Mina could affect. That was something that she could control and affect because she was here, and she could make sure that Bex didn’t fall off the edge, even if she couldn’t make sure that a vampire didn’t attack her. “Still. You can-- I was overreacting. You don’t have to tell me anything that happens to you. I’d like to know, but you don’t have to. And I’d worry anyway, but…” But she couldn’t stand the thought of losing someone, couldn’t stand the thought of losing Bex and not knowing what happened. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

“You’d be surprised how many parents at birthday parties for all the neighborhood kids would forget,” Bex pointed out, “I ate a lot of bread at birthday parties.” She closed her eyes for a moment in a solemn nod. Opened them again to look over at Mina and grin, full faced and kinda sleepy. “I’ll teach you. You’ll be a pro in no time.” It made sense that someone who ate a mostly pescetarian diet wouldn’t really know the ins and outs of kosher foods. In fact, most people with normal diets didn’t even know. “It was kind of funny. Admit it.” She shrugged nonchalantly. “I wasn’t worried. I knew you’d never let me fall. Or, if I did, you’d come with me.” It really was that simple, wasn’t it? Bex chewed thoughtfully, before swallowing to answer Mina’s next question. Or statement. All of it just felt so...simple to her. Everything with Mina was simple, except the way she made Bex feel. “I know I don’t have to, but I want to.” She crossed her legs like Mina had, setting her tupperware in her lap. “That’s what friends do, right? They tell each other stuff. And I kinda get the feeling you’ll worry even if I do tell you stuff. So, might as well at least take out the guesswork, right?” She reached out to brush her fingers against one of Mina’s hands, playing idly with her fingers, lifting her hand enough to intertwine them. “But maybe...if I have to stay late at school, just for a bit, you could stay with me?”

“Yes, well, clearly they were stupid to not remember something as easy as knowing that you’re vegetarian,” Mina said. Looking at Bex with her sleepy eyes, she wondered if she needed to get the younger girl back, but she also just… wasn’t ready to leave, not yet. She’d like to still take things in and enjoy it, despite the slight hiccup in that. “I’d like that. No, no, it-- well, okay. Maybe a little funny.” Mina only admitted it because her body was still processing the stress from before, and any attempt to lie at the moment would end poorly. “You really trust me,” she said, not a question, even though there was quite a bit of surprise in her voice. She wasn’t used to that, being trusted so inexplicably. Especially when she just didn’t think she deserved it. Especially when there was so much that she herself wasn’t saying, that she should say, that she didn’t know how to. She felt guilty, but she just sighed and smiled at Bex. “I’m… probably going to worry regardless, yes. I’m afraid that might just be a given, at this point.” Bex touched her so much. It felt like they were always touching, always holding hands or bumping into each other or touching, and Mina was trying to get used to it, and it helped that sometimes Morgan was so touchy feely, but sometimes there was just an impulse to jerk back and prepare to fight that Mina was beginning to realize probably wasn’t a natural thing. Holding Bex’s hand felt natural, though, and she squeezed the younger girl’s hand. “Yeah, I can do that. Of course I can do that.”

“I sort of think they just didn’t care,” Bex shrugged, “but there were lots of people to keep track of, too.” She picked at her food idly, finding herself not entirely too hungry for some reason. She probably should have been, she hadn’t eaten lunch that day-- but her stomach felt as if it were doing circus tricks. She looked over at Mina. “I really do,” she confirmed, the statement as simple as that. She really did. It was the truth and that’s all there was to it. She could count the number of people she truly trusted on one hand, and Mina was most certainly one of them. “Well, I’ll try my best to make you worry less. Just know the feeling is mutual, though. You worry me.” If Mina’s sense of duty to protect people was anything like Dani’s or Adam’s, that meant she was in danger of getting hurt, just like Dani when the vampire had stomped on her, or how she’d thrown herself at the cockatrice. She squeezed her hand back. “You can be like, my personal bodyguard. I’ll pay you in...good company?”

“Again. Stupid,” Mina said. She couldn’t imagine anyone not caring about Bex. But, really, maybe she was just a little biased. Maybe. Probably. Definitely. All the words that ended in -ly. And Bex trusted her, and the thought of that made her sick, just a little, because there was nothing she’d done to earn that trust, not that she could think of. She didn’t deserve it, she didn’t think. “I trust you, too,” she said, quietly, and she did. She trusted Bex so much. Mina just… didn’t trust herself, and, in the end, she was too afraid that she wouldn’t actually be worth it. “I don’t know if that’s going to work, Ms. Clumsy. And now I’m going to be looking for vampires under every rock I see.” She smiled at Bex. “I’m all good, though, really. I’m--” It was hard to explain why Bex shouldn’t be worried about her, that she was fine, that she was used to things happening. “I hope you don’t worry about me a lot.” It was bad enough knowing that people worried about her and rectifying that fact with the knowledge that it wasn’t because they thought she was incapable. They just… worried. “You do need a bodyguard, I think. If only to keep you from falling off of waterfalls. This is adequate payment, though.”

“Please don’t go looking for vampires,” Bex said with an over exaggerated sigh. “And I will wear that name proudly. Call me Ms. Clumsy all you want, you were the one that fell over.” She gave a triumphant smile. She set her container of food aside and turned herself to face Mina fully, keeping their hands intertwined still. “I think worrying is one of my base personality traits. I don’t have a lot of friends, so I kinda worry a lot about the ones I do have. And you kinda fall in that category, so I guess we’ll just both have to agree to worry about each other. But, like...in a good way.” She huffed and gave a pout. “I don’t need a bodyguard, but it would be nice to have one. Only if it’s you, though. I’m not sure I could stand anyone else.” She looked back over her shoulder at the treeline, where the sun was beginning to set. Eagerly, she tugged on Mina’s hand, urging her to set aside her bowl as well. “Here,” she scooted next to her so they were facing the same way and pointed up at the skyline. “Lay down with me. We can watch the sunset together. My favorite thing is watching the sky change colors.”

“I won’t go looking for them, but it never hurts to be prepared, you know.” Mina was teasing, but she did make a legitimate mental note to add a stake to her backpack. Just in case. Not because she expected to have to use it, but also because she definitely feared she might have to use it. She narrowed her eyes a bit. “I tripped making sure you didn’t topple over the edge. Your foot was literally over the edge!” Maybe she’d jerked back too quickly or maybe she should have just paid better attention, but Mina was not the clumsy one in this situation. Even if she was the one to trip. “Then I guess we’ll just have to worry about each other. And I think you do need a bodyguard, but I’m willing to take the job. Do you need any credentials? I have… over ten years of experience dealing with these things.” It was closer to twenty, but she didn’t want to point that out; it might be odd. Mina set aside her stuff and leaned back, looking at the sky before turning her face to Bex. “Just to be clear, we’re not watching the sunset? We’re watching the rest of the sky as the sun sets?”

“If it makes you feel better, the girl that helped me gave me a flask full of holy water. I keep it in my backpack now,” Bex explained. And she had started wearing her Star of David again. Her mother would’ve been so happy to know that. She swallowed the thought down. “Oh, was it?” she asked, blinking, genuinely unaware. “I didn’t even notice. I just kept looking into the water and it was like, I dunno, entrancing. I even thought I saw like, another sky in the reflection. It was kinda weird. Almost made me wanna jump…” she trailed off, laying back to gaze up at the sky. They were at a slight angle, but the sunset was at their feet, below the tree lines anyway. “I get jumped one time and suddenly I need a bodyguard? Sheesh. Fine, I accept your credentials. You start tomorrow morning. Think you can manage?” Turned her face to look at Mina, and they were so close again. Only a few inches between their faces, shoulders touching. “We can’t see the sunset, anyway, it’s behind the trees. Plus,” she turned away, feeling a heat in her cheeks that hadn’t been there before. Must be the cold setting in. “Look how pretty the clouds are.” She lifted a hand to point. “It looks like a painting.” 

Nodding, Mina said, “That’s good, that’s really good. Sharp wood is also nice to have on you.” Though, she didn’t know if she wanted Bex near a stake. That might actually be a really bad idea. “Maybe actually stick to the holy water.” She shot Bex a worried look. “It was. I wouldn’t have grabbed you otherwise. I… It was really pretty. I kept wanting to dive in, too. But you did say no jumping, so.” She’d thought she had seen the sky as well, but she hadn’t thought much of it. Now she was concerned, but it could wait. “One time is far too many. But, yes, I can start tomorrow. I know I can manage. Well… maybe. I think you’ll be the most difficult person I’ve ever looked after.” She couldn’t help but study Bex’s face, her eyes, her lips. Oh no. She felt a tightness in her chest. Instead of paying it any mind, though, instead of dwelling on it and letting it take over, she turned her head to fully face the sky. But her eyes flickered back and forth, glancing at the sky and then at Bex and then back at the sky. “It’s lovely.”

Bex was too fixated on the sky to notice Mina’s eyes flicking between her and the painting they were laying under. “Yeah, she mentioned that, too. Wood and garlic, I guess.” What a strange weakness to have, garlic. Then again, Bex had food weaknesses. She wondered if it was like that, like allergies. She watched a cloud drift into shadow and the colors of its base change from yellow to orange to a deep red, almost purple. Sometimes she wished she could just float away like clouds, drifting on the wind. “Calling me difficult actually takes away from your credentials, you know.” But there was an airyness to her voice, lofty and quiet. “Isn’t it?” She hadn’t felt this free in ages. If it were up to her, they’d stay here all night, looking up at the sky. Watch the cloud turn to stars, and the stars turn to dawn’s light. Without much prompting, she unfurled her fingers from Mina’s, lifting her arm, and scooted her way over, until her head was resting on Mina’s shoulder, and she wrapped her arm around her. “I’m glad Nell suggested this to you,” she finally said, “I think I really needed this.”

“Yeah, garlic’s good, too. I always forget about garlic. It just irritates them, really.” At least, that’s what Mina had learned. Her dad wasn’t a slayer, she most definitely wasn’t a slayer, they rarely went after vampires, so she’d only learned the most important information: holy water burns, holy symbols hurt, and stakes kill. What else was there to know about vampires? “I’m just being truthful. That’s actually one of my skill sets: complete truthfulness to any questions asked.” When Bex pulled away, she lifted her head, a bit confused, but settled back pretty easily when she figured out what Bex was doing. Again with all of the touching. Not that she minded. She didn’t mind, but it was so confusing. It was so nice, and comforting, and, really, she wasn’t used to feeling comforted, so maybe that was why it was so confusing. She swallowed back some of that tightness and rested her head against Bex’s. She didn’t want to think about that right now. She wanted to just stay there and look at the sky. It really was pretty. “Yeah, I’m glad she did, too.” Even if Nell wouldn’t stop bothering her with questions. “I needed it, too.”

“Do you think it’s weird?” Bex asked, settling into the nook of Mina’s shoulder. “That, like, movies and popular media stuff got so much of it right? Do you think it’s because that stuff is written by people in the know?” She’d wondered that for a bit now, ever since Dani joked about how she should’ve known it was a vampire simply because of movies. “OH, ha ha. Very funny. You know, just for that, I might actually make it even more difficult for you to watch after me. I don’t know how yet, but I’ll figure something out.” From the outside, someone might have assumed Bex was really an affectionate person, especially with the way she acted around Mina. But that was far from the truth. Somehow, though, all she wanted to do was be touching Mina, in whatever way possible. Shoulders, hands, arms. Anything would do. She made her feel safe. Comfortable. Warm. Like the shades of the setting sky, fading from blue to purple to orange, to pink. White clouds dotting the canvas. Bex reached up and took Mina’s hand again, playing with her fingers. “Hey, Mina?” she asked quietly.

“I don’t really know how much movies and popular media got right? I mean, from what I know, The Mummy was a terrible depiction of reanimated corpses.” Mina had to think about it for a moment, what she knew about that counted as popular media. “And… some of the stuff that we read in Morgan’s class is… close? I don’t really know, though. I mean, someone wrote down something accurate at some point and distributed it, and now here we are.” She shrugged before she narrowed her eyes at the side of Bex’s head, even knowing that the younger girl couldn’t see her. “I’d rather you didn’t make things difficult, please,” she said, but, really, did she expect any different? She settled back, catching Bex’s hand with her own and rubbing the palm of Bex’s hand with her thumb. “Yeah?”

“Okay, well, the Mummy doesn’t count cause it didn’t get anything right, technically,” Bex huffed. “But things like Dracula get scary close to the real thing. From what I know.” Stakes, garlic, holy symbols. She should’ve paid more attention in High School English. She nestled a little further into Mina, feeling her chest both seize up and somehow relax. Her entire body felt relaxed, and yet her heart was pounding. She’d felt like this once before. “Okay,” she conceded without much fight, “I won’t.” Her eyes wandered back up to the sky, and she watched as all the warm colors began to fade. Clouds began to blend in with the sky, disappearing into nighttime. They should probably start heading back, before it got too dark, too dangerous, but Bex just wanted to stay here. All night. Maybe even all day tomorrow. The waterfalls were still echoing around everywhere, wind rustling leaves, the quiet hum of insects chirping for the nightfall. Bex somehow felt at peace, out here, like this place was a haven. “I’m glad I met you,” she finally answered. 

[queeniewritesce]

Shall We Dance 7/?

Chris woke around 8 am, alone in bed and for a moment he panicked, thinking Lucy never actually came home with him last night. A look around the room revealed her suitcase and a large soft luggage bag neatly stacked near his closet, her purse on the nearby chair. The pillow he was hugging still smelled like her shampoo and he smiled at the memory of them showering together and how he had insisted on washing her hair, his hands working the long strands into different hairstyles while she laughed at his portray of a flamboyant hairdresser.

They’d arrived home around 8 pm after Garret read him the riot act while Lucy gathered her stuff. He’d better not fuck this up, was he sure he wanted to pursue this? Otherwise he better end their date right there.

Date. Chris scoffed at the word. He was sure Lucy still didn’t know the meeting at the game was a set-up arranged by her sister and his best friend; a blind date where only one of them knew they were on a date at all. Penny insisted Lucy wouldn’t come if she were to tell her and it was up to Chris to make the move.

Ever since he wrapped Gifted and came back home complaining he had had enough of the Hollywood dating scene, Penny redoubled her efforts to get Chris and Lucy together. “She’s the sweetest girl, Chris, always there with a smile when I was hurt. She was the first to organize a fundraising and collecting food and clothes after the Mitchell’s house fire. She’s got the biggest heart of anyone I know and they abused her trust. She’s been hurt pretty and she’s afraid of trying again. I believe you can change that.” Penny said over pizza one day. Chris had his doubts, not sure if he was ready to deal with so much baggage. “Would you date her?” Chris asked Garret over beers, “She’s fragile man but she’s a special girl. Hell yes, I’d date her. She’s wicked smart, sassy as hell and can make you laugh like a lunatic plus, she’s built like a fifties pin-up girl, all tits, ass, and thighs. You keep saying you want something real, here’s your chance at it.”

So Chris agreed to the date, picking a football game for their first meeting, a common ground where both could still enjoy themselves if the chemistry wasn’t there. Except they hit it off so good that any plans of taking her out for dinner so they could get to know each flew out of the window and now he was working backward to convince her she was more than a one-night stand.

The moment he left the bedroom Chris could hear Lucy singing downstairs. She wasn’t going to win any Grammys but she wasn’t bad either. He made his way downstairs carefully as to not alert her of his presence.

He stopped just before reaching the bottom, watching as Lucy belted the lyrics to an old pop song into a wooden spoon, moving around the kitchen with her eyes closed during the chorus. He watched as she opened and closed his cabinets, a quiet yay reaching his ears when she found a glass bowl, bringing the bowl with her back to the counter where eggs, cheese, sliced potatoes, and condiments all waited. And since when did he own a cast iron pan?

Lucy sang and danced while she mixed the ingredients, pouring them into the hot pan, her oversized nightshirt hanging loosely on her shoulders, purplish marks dotting her neck. He’d never been one to leave them before but with her he was a man possessed, staking a claim so everyone could see she belonged with him. A twinge of jealousy hit him at the thought of a man getting closer enough to look at her neck.

Chris knew it was probably too early to feel that way but he wasn’t concerned with a timetable any more. He’d been infatuated with the idea of her for the past month and the reality turned out to be so much better. Their time at the museum yesterday had been fantastic, no awkward silences, no lulls in the conversation. He hanged into her every word, committing to memory every like and dislike she shared, wanting to know everything about the firecracker redhead who danced her way into his life.

He leaned against the fridge, crossing his arms.

“Is there a cover fee for the show or is it included with breakfast?”

“That depends, what kind of payment are we talking about?” Lucy smiled brightly at him, rinsing her hands.

“I can think of a few ways. I’m also known for being a very generous tipper.”

Chris walked over to her, picking up a napkin and drying each individual finger before bringing her hands over his neck, leaning down to gently kiss her.

“Top o' the mornin' to ya, little lady.” He smiled at her when their lips separated, tipping an imaginary hat at her.

“Mornin’ sir,” she giggled and did a little curtsy. “Give it 25 minutes and you’ll eat the best Spanish omelet of your life.”

“I’m starving so it better be good.” Chris challenged, letting go of her to fill Dodger’s food and water bowl.

“Of your life.” She pointed the wood spoon at his retrieving back.

“That’s a very tall order little lady, I’ve been alive for quite some time.”

“Except that, I’m older than you.” She reminded Chris while she brought the coffee pot and the juice jar to the small breakfast table by the window.

“You know what that makes you, right?” He called back to her, already on his way back from the laundry room.

“What?” She moved back to the counter, checking on the food on the stovetop, turning it off and moving the pan to the oven.

“A cougar.” He said was behind her, hands circling her waist and bringing her body close to his, his lips closing on the pulse point on her neck and effectively ending the protest on her lips. “A very fine,” kiss, “gorgeous,” bite, “beautiful cougar.”

He sucked the tender skin where her neck met her shoulder, leaving yet another mark.

“Keep that up and I’ll need a scarf inside the house when I get to my parent’s,” she made no movement to stop him, hands resting over his.

“You have a very biteable neck.” Chris kissed the same spot again just to prove a point and she giggled. “I’ll try to curb my inner vampire.”

“Your inner vampire is quite welcome to other places where I can better hide the evidence.” Lucy looked back up to him, a hint of mischievousness in her voice.

His hands immediately moved to cup her breasts over her shirt. “Oh, you mean here?”

“Uhm… or here.” Lucy’s hand gently guided him to the inside of her thighs.

“Your idea is so much better than mine.” Chris turned her around and his mouth immediately found hers in a powerful and possessive kiss.

He was rapidly becoming addicted to her mouth, her lips moving like fine silk on his, tongue searching for him, a delirious chase he couldn’t get enough of. He heard her moan against his mouth and it stoked the fire already burning inside of him.

Chris’ strong hands clutched Lucy’s waist, bringing her closer to his body and in a swift movement he lifted and dropped her at the counter, her body bouncing when she landed.

“Are you crazy, you could throw your back or someth…”

His lips quickly silenced her words and he nipped at her for good measure when they separated.

“I can bench press over 300 pounds Lucy, and you weigh what, a bit more than half that? Let me worry about what I can and I can’t handle,” his hands slid up her thighs till he finds the white lace cheeky panties she wore, thumbs hooking around the lace and pulling them down as he whispered in her ear. “I love how my hands are full of you when I run them up your thighs, when I grab your ass, how your breasts feel heavy on my hands… and just so you know I’d love to fuck them.”

A strangled moan escaped her at his words and she reached for his sweatpants, pushing them down, needing the contact, craving the feel of him. He rocked his hips on her, the head of his cock right on top of her clit, his bare length sliding up and down over her small lips, coating himself in her juices. “I want you inside me, Chris.”

“Shhh, I’m not finished. Trivia time. Did you know I had a crush on Jessica Rabbit the first time I saw Who Framed Roger Rabbit?” Chris unbuttons her shirt, bottom to top, slowly unwrapping her like a present, thrusting against her with each new inch of skin he reveals, her moans spurring him on. “To my twelve-year-old self, she was the hottest woman I’d ever seen, who cares if she was a cartoon. It was the first time I actively jerked off.” He parted the sides of her nightgown, exposing her breast and he licks his lips at the sight of her naked chest. His hands tangle in her hair bringing the red strands around her left shoulder. Her eyes are blown, pupils dilated, almost no green left and he thinks she looked like a fucking goddess at that moment. He stood between her legs, his nose skimming the pulse point on her neck, lips following suit, before stepping back, making her pout for the lack of contact. “God, look at you, my personal Jessica Rabbit, pouty lips and all, my fucking wet dream coming true, sinful curves and deliciously naked.”

“Then come here and fuck your Rabbit,” she pulled him back, mouths clashing, tongues dancing together. Her hands roamed over the taut muscles of his arms, tracing the veins and kneading the flesh of his shoulders, fingertips caressing the nape of his neck with one hand while the other danced on the planes of his chest, following the trail of hair that led to his cock.

Lucy planted open-mouthed kisses on his chest, gently biting his right nipple, sucking the small hard nub in her mouth, enthralled by the sounds he made.

“Fuck, do that again,” Chris asked in a low voice and she smiled against his chest, moving to the other side. She flattened her tongue against his nipple before closing her mouth against it, teeth rasping the pebbled skin and sucking hard and at the same time that she closed her hand over him, dragging her fingers over the crown in slow but precise motions. A guttural moan rocked his body and he thrust hard against her hand, pre-come leaking from the bulbous head.

“How did you like it?” Lucy grinned up to him, hand fisting over his shaft as she licked around the tattoo on his ribcage.

“That… god, don’t tease,” he faltered when her fingers squeezed around him, both hands working in a precise rhythm. “That’s definitely going into the pro column.”

Her laugh is cut short when he pulls her hair back, covering her mouth with his. Their kisses became long and slow, fueled by their moans, tongues sinfully dancing together as hands travel everywhere; caressing her boobs, touching his ass, tangled in her hair, gripping his waist.

“Lay back on your arms.” Chris nudges her back with a soft touch and she obeys, releasing his shaft and arranging herself on the black marble. Fingers and mouth working together, he traces a pattern over her body, stroking over her collarbone, rolling her nipples between expert fingers, dipping his tongue on her belly button. He nips at the small curve of her belly, biting and bruising the skin and smirks at her. “No one will see this one, right?”

“Considering it’s not exactly swimming weather outside, I don’t think so,” she smiled and shook her head.

“Good,” he rubbed his bearded face on her inner thighs. “I’m not finished though.”

Warm open-mouthed kisses on the inside of her thighs left her panting and pleading for more.

“Use your words, Lucy.” His warm breath tickled her lips, making her squirm.

“Don’t tease me like that.” Wild eyes glanced down, “I want your mouth on me. Now.”

“Yes, madam.” The feel of his silky tongue made her whole body undulate, a loud gasp echoing in the large room as he bathed her in slow and sure motions. He gave her a wicked grin before his lips closed on her clit, tongue swirling on the taut nerve and her hips lifted, legs jumping wildly. He hooked her left leg over his shoulder for anchorage, grasping the curve of her hips to keep her from moving and her small hand covered his, fingers tangling together. Chris smiled, eyes framed by long eyelashes looking up to her, loving to watch her surrender under his touch. He was lost to the scent of her, the sweet and tangy aroma filling his lungs.

“Chris.” A gasp escaped her swollen lips, eyes fluttering close with each pass of his tongue, shallow breaths, and a racing heart.

“God, you’re beautiful,” His mouth barely leaves her to whisper his adoration. “Are you ready for more baby?”

Two fingers sank into her, scissoring and curling against her walls. He devoured her, lips and tongue working her clit, fingers hooked inside her, rubbing that sweet spot inside her over and over. Her hips thrust wildly upward, incomprehensible cries falling from her lips when he sped up his motions, humming his praise, the vibrations on causing the most delicious electric sparks making her legs writhe and sending her dangerously close to the edge.

Her body grew taut, goosebumps spreading all over and he felt her clenching his fingers, fingernails leaving small crescent shapes on the back of his hand before releasing his hand and threading them around his hair, keeping him where she needed the most.

“So close, oh god, I need… close.”

His teeth scraped her clit and it’s her undoing. Lucy cried out to him, tremors rocking her, legs quivering as he continued to touch her, transforming her orgasm in an ongoing sensation that washed over her back and forth every time his tongues her clit, fingers still moving inside her now with a renewed fervor.

“Give one more baby, I know you have it in you.” Another pair of fingers made contact with her clit, rubbing it in a maddening pace as he kisses her inner thighs, bruising the skin with his teeth. He slipped his fingers from inside her pussy, digits coated in her cum, and moved them lower, pressing them lightly against her puckered hole, making contact hard enough to let her know he’s there. His tongue enters her, lapping up the escaping slick as his index fingers breached the impossibly tight hole.

“Chris, oh god, oh f…” a second wave hit her and her arm gave out, spasm taking over her body and her eyes rolled to the back of her head, the fire never ending, the darkness threatening to take over.

She pushed him away, her body spent as she laid on the counter, breathing heavily.

“Fuck, you look gorgeous when you cum,” Chris' eyes were zeroed on hers with a smug smile on his face, fingers slowly caressing the skin of her hips. “Are you alright?”

“Give me a moment, I’m not sure I’m alive,” Lucy closed her eyes, drawing a deep breath, the sound of his laugh making her smile. “Yep, I’m alive.”

Chris pulled her up and her hands immediately gravitated to his face, bringing him close, kissing his shiny lips, thumbing the moisture on his mustache and bringing it to her mouth, her tongue making a show of licking the digit clean, groaning at the taste of herself on him. He moaned and rocked himself against her core, callused hands curling on the skin of her bottom.

“You know,” Lucy nuzzled his neck, kissing the smooth skin, her nose pressed on his beard, “I’ve never let anyone back there before.”

“Never?” the whimper is followed by a grunt when she shook her head. “Whenever you’re ready, let me know, I can make you feel so, so good baby.”

“How about I think about it and I get back to you on that.”

There’s a pause before he agreed and dove for her mouth, tongues dueling in a heated kiss, hissing when her hands closed around him, sliding up and down the length with torturous gestures.

“I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you,” her hands stroked and twisted, creating the perfect amount of pressure that forced him to thrust back searching for more friction. Lucy nibbled his earlobe and murmured, “Get inside me Chris, now.”

It’s a command he’s eager to obey and he brings her closer to the edge of the counter, dragging his cock up her slit, making them both moan.

And then he stopped, looking around for a moment, groaning.

“Shit.”

His low curse made her head pop. “What?”

“I didn’t bring any condoms down with me.”

“Why not?” The disbelief in her voice made him chuckle.

More expletives left his mouth as he opened a few drawers before finally admitting defeat with a shake of his head.

“Well little rabbit, for starters my pants didn’t have any pockets. Plus, I didn’t exactly plan on fucking you on my counter.”

“It’s so sturdy though, it just begs for some action.” She bounces a little, grinning at him.

Chris threw his head back with a laugh, raising both eyebrows at her.

“You’re using me for my kitchen, aren’t you?”

“Damn, I’ve been found,” she snapped her fingers with a mocking frown.

“Come on woman, let’s go upstairs before…”

The oven pinged, signaling the food was ready.

“That.” Chris dropped his head on her shoulder while Lucy tried to contain her mirth, certain he would not appreciate her laughing right now.

“You know,” Lucy glanced from the oven back to him, fingers dancing between the hairs of his chest. “I’m alright with re-heated food if you are.”

“Oh, thank fuck.” He promptly hoisted her out of the counter, pausing just long enough to pick up his pants from the floor, just to look up and see her running up the stairs.

Lucy stopped on the middle step, shedding her shirt, calling out to him with her fingers. She squeaked and ran when Chris started after her, taking the steps two at a time, catching up to her right by his bedroom door, caging her body with his.

“Gotcha.” Her whole skin prickled with his whisper and she couldn’t help the moan that escaped when he bit her earlobe, tugging on the flesh. The feel of him rocking against her as he kissed the back of her neck reduced her to a quivering mess as he opened the door, directing her to the recently made bed.

Spinning in his arms, she kissed him hard, forcing his body toward the bed. “Lay down, keep your hands above your head.”

“Bossy, bossy,” Chris kissed her before laying down, making a show of shaking his ass at her, which earned him a playful swat. “Careful with the merchandise woman.”

Lucy giggle-snorted, shaking her head. “I’m sorry, I’ll handle all the packages with care.”

“See that you do.” He winked and got comfortable, holding onto the pillow under his head, licking his lips when she crawled over him, kneeling between his legs.

Her lips brushed over his brow, nose, and cheeks before touching his mouth, a pink tongue tracing his pouty lips. They kissed with their eyes open, Chris trying to follow her every time she retreated, only to kiss him again when his head hit the pillow with a growl.

“Don’t be mean. I love kissing you.”

Her eyes crinkled, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. The next time she didn’t pull back, her tongue tangling with his, lips synced in a slow and sensuous dance, making his body buckle when she sucked his tongue, knuckles white from clutching the pillow.

She teased his neck, caressing the pulse point with her tongue, working her way down his body and Chris felt like fire wafted over his skin with each touch. Stopping over his dusky nipples, she replayed the earlier actions, this time with more teeth and Chris decided the move deserved a whole new column titled ‘fucking brilliant’.  

The hard muscles of his abdomen twitched when her teeth made contact, and she soothed him with butterfly kisses over the tattoo on his lower rib cage. The first dip of her tongue into his belly button bucked his hips, the anticipation consuming him as she licked over the thick line of hair connecting to the base of his cock, her nose nuzzling the velvet skin that rested over his lower abdomen.

“Lucy…”

“Patience Chris.”

He didn’t have to wait long, a hitched breath meeting the first touch of her tongue on the underside of his erection. She tempted him with one long lick before enveloping the head with her lips, tonguing the slit and tasting the drops of his salty pre-come already there.

An ache formed deep in his belly when her hands closed around him, pumping up and down the thick member, a thumb pressing the vein on the underside with every downward stroke. She cupped his balls as her mouth descended on him, sucking him slowly into her mouth, working her way down.

Chris wanted so badly to touch her, to run his hands everywhere while she claimed him, but he was good with following orders. “God, you’re killing me, Lucy, such a pretty and talented mouth you have, fuck, so good around my cock.” He heard and felt her moaning around him, the humming adding to his pleasure, and when she hollowed her cheeks and took him all the way he cursed loudly, body shaking. “Please, please let me touch you gorgeous.”

She let him go with a pop, swirling her tongue around the weeping head, flattening her tongue and dragging over his frenulum, wanton eyes, dark and needy, never leaving him when she nodded and took him back into her mouth, her lips sinking until he could feel the back of her throat, grunting and fighting the urge to thrust up. He ran his hands over her shoulders, gentle fingers cupping her cheek while she engulfed him, her nose pressed to the trimmed hairs of his groin.

His labored breaths were cut by deep moans, pleasure cursing through this body.

“I’m not gonna last, baby.”

His hands now played with her hair, gathering it to a side, holding it atop of her head and finally settling with tangling it all in a ponytail so he could watch what her as she worked to bring him to climax. The need to thrust became unbearable, a scorching heat consuming and overwhelming his senses.

“Let it go, Chris,” she enticed him and he surrendered, plunging against her mouth, marveling at the feeling of her silky tongue working over him when he retreated.

Sheer pleasure consumed him, the ache in his belly spreading all over him and he barely had time to warm her of his impending climax. Lucy paid him no mind, lips tight around his cock while two fingers pressed down on the perineum and he lost it, swelling and coating the inside of her mouth, hands tight on her hair to keep her from moving.

She swallowed and he groaned loudly, curses and moans mixed together while he sang her praises, calling her name over and over. Chris twitched when Lucy licked him clean, letting him go with a final pat to the head of his cock. A smile played on her lips as she gave him a small kiss at the corner of his lips before resting her head on the nook of his neck.

Chris was quiet for a moment before he let out a whistle.

“Damn.”

Her body shook with contained laughter.

“That good, huh?” Lucy drew small patterns on his chest and he rejoiced in the feeling of being so close to her.

“Fuck yes.” He slowly kissed her, his tongue exploring the swollen lips. A small peck to her nose and he released her.

A blissful silence fell over them, his hands combing the long locks as she did the same to his beard. They stayed like that for some time, until Chris spoke again.

“Do you have the number for The New York Times?” He asked with a serious expression.

“What would you need it for?” Lucy side-eyed Chris.

“I want to take out an ad and tell all those fools in New York City how incredibly stupid they are for passing you over. Or I might do a full-page “thank you” for the exact same reason, I’m still undecided.” He twisted them both till she was laying on top of him, taking the opportunity to run his hands over her ribcage, waist and finally resting both hands on her bottom, holding them loosely over her flesh.

“All of this over a good blowjob?” She chuckled and adjusted herself so her pussy hovered over his hardening cock.

He shook his head and poked her on the side.

“Excuse me, but being on the receiving end of said blowjob I think you meant fantastic. Curl your toes and scream yourself hoarse fantastic,” he is delighted when a blush covered not only the face but her breasts as well. He licked his lips and bucked against her, “Yeah, I’m definitely thanking them.”

“Your recovering time is quite a feat, Chris.” Her hips rocked slowly against him and Lucy left a small sigh when her clit rubbed on the veiny member.

He tightened his hold on her buttocks as she danced wantonly over him, dragging herself across the hard member.

“I am… Captain America after all.” A shallow moan followed another thrust and he grabbed the condom next to the pillow, ripping the package and handing it to her.

“Isn’t the poor the guy a virgin though? Did the whole beefcake flavored popsicle thing before he could get the girl?” Lucy scooted back just enough to free him from under her, spreading the wetness she left on his throbbing cock before rolling the latex down.

He bent her down by her shoulders, bracing one arm around her waist while the other holds her close, hands gripping her neck.

“I’m gonna pretend you just didn’t call Cap a virgin beefcake flavored popsicle, alright?” He preened when she giggled and it occurred to him how much time had passed since sex was this poignant and so carefree at the same time. Lucy brought a whole new game to the table; sexy, fun, extremely hot and addictive, just like her.

He ran his nose on the thick vein there, kissing up to her ear, nibbling on the flesh. “Can I fuck you now little rabbit?”

God how he loved how he could make her body flush and shiver with just a few words. Chris' lips covered hers in a scorching kiss, tongues clashing before Lucy righted her body and positioned herself over him.

“I believe,” she hissed as Chris pinched her nipples, “I believe I’m the one doing the fucking now.”

Hungry eyes met as she eased down on him, never breaking eye contact till she is flushed on his lap, throwing her head back with a lustful moan.

“God Chris, I’m so full of you.” She stilled for a moment, getting used to the sensation.

“You’re so tight baby, I can feel every bit of your pussy hugging me.” He moaned breathily when she squeezed him, hands flying to her thighs and rear. “You gonna wreck me just by doing that and then you won’t get to cum.”

“We can’t have that now, can we?” Lucy rolled her hips in a slow movement, keeping most of his cock inside her as she rocked side to side, smiling provocatively at the groans coming from Chris.

Hands sprawled over his large chest as leverage, Lucy impressed a hard pace, pulling all the way up and slamming back down with slow circles that had her eyes rolling to the back of her head, the head of Chris’ cock hitting her g-spot with every downward movement.

Holding the soft flesh on the back of her thighs, Chris met her thrusts with his own, grinding her down on his pelvis. He shifted so his feet were flat against the mattress, starting a pattern of quick and shallow thrusts that made Lucy drop her head to her heaving chest, her hair falling around them like a curtain as her hands clang to his shoulders, fingernails digging into the muscles, moaning and sobbing.

Walls clenching around him, he could sense that she was close, her mouth forming a delicate o shape, eyes closed in ecstasy. Every nerve ending is alive and bursting with energy, all connected to the spot where his cock entered her and she gasped, air heavily leaving her lungs when waves of pleasure crashed into her, chants of his name is like a song to his ears.

“God, Chris!” She screamed his name, dropping to kiss him, her tongue sweeping over his. “Fuck, you make me feel so good.”

Drawing circles up here sides, he held her closer, fingers flexing in her waist.

“Rabbit, we’re barely getting started. On your back.” Chris grunted as he lifted her, her juices making his cock glisten. “Fuck, look at that…”

He touched her slick clit when she settled on her back, making her shudder, aftershocks rocking her body with a strangled moan.

“Fucking gorgeous. Your body was made for me, to love it, to worship it. I’m gonna fuck you so good baby.” He got on his knees, bringing her hips level with his, propping her ass up with a discarded pillow.

“Chris, please. I need you.”

The air is charged with the faint aroma of sex as Chris hovers over her. The caveman inside his brain growled with the need to possess her, make her theirs.

“You need my cock? You need me to pound you and make you forget your own name?” His voice is hoarse with lust, eyes blown. He brought her legs up, resting her feet on his shoulders, his member nested on her folds.  “I can do that rabbit, I’ll fuck you raw, ruin you for anyone else but me. Do you want that?”

He rocks against her, the crown of his shaft sliding over her clit and she keens, a high-pitched sound that snaps something inside him. He enters her roughly, bottoming out on the first thrust, establishing a hard pace. His moans echo around the room when he sees her holding her breasts, pinching her erect nipples.

“I want that, yes, I want you. Fuck me, Chris, yes, yes.” Wanton eyes look over at him and he almost lost it, driving into her with and making the headboard hit the wall in a staccato of thrusts.

One of her legs fell to the side when he let it go and it curled around his knees, keeping his vision unobstructed. Watching his cock disappear inside her is a glorious sight and Chris can barely tear his eyes away to look up, but he was glad he did. Lucy had her arms above her, head thrown to the side, eyes closed and her teeth are dug so hard into her lips he swore she would draw blood at any moment. Her labored breath and moans follow the rhythm of his hips and once in a while she would let a loud wail when he hit that perfect spot inside her.

The goosebumps are back, his brows furrowed and he had to fight to keep his eyes open, the pleasure coursing through him is too much.

“Eyes on me Lucy.” Chris told her in a slow growl and smiled when dark green orbs focus on him. “You’re the most beautiful thing in the world. I can feel you’re close baby, cum for me.”

A thumb is pressed to her clit, rubbing small circles on the hardened nub, propelling her to the end. Lucy gripped the sheets, back bowing from the mattress, calling for him as her body convulsed.

His own release is there, his powerful thighs clenching as his hips still, her name on his lips, a powerful climax washing over him.

Breathing heavily, Chris laid down on top of her, holding himself up in his forearms, searching her face only to find her smiling at him, a lazy grin that made his heart flutter.

��That was…” slender fingers pushed the sweaty hair out of his forehead and Lucy kissed his cheek, lips lingered on the scruff.

“Intense? Incredible? Impeccable? Impressive? Illegal?” Chris would have continued but her clasped hand in front of his mouth stopped him.

“Illegal?” Lucy laughed.

He licked her palm and she yelped, removing it quickly and giving him a dirty look. He grinned.

“I’m sure it is somewhere, you were pretty loud after all.”

He rolled over from her, leaving the bed to deal with the condom.

“And whose fault is that Mister Dirty Talk Extraordinaire?” She called after him.

“You think I’m gonna feel guilty about making you scream my name?” He gave her a skeptical look as he came back with a damp hand towel, running it carefully over her.

“Incorrigible. There’s another one for you.” She stretched and Chris drank on her body. The sight of her naked and pliable in his bed was now ranked top ten in the list of his favorite things.

"Okay, let's play a game." Chris reclined on the headboard with his legs sprawled on the bed, white sheets covering his lower body. Lucy was on her stomach next to him, hands resting on her chin, feet up and crossed at the ankles, her naked form enticing him. His eyes followed the curves of her back, stopping to admire the tattoo that covered most of her right side, back dipping to form her waist before coming back up to the most amazing ass he'd ever seem, and yes, he had seen more than most men. He needed a distraction otherwise he'd pounce on her again. "Two truths, one lie." When she looked at him quizzically, he explained, "We each tell the other two truths about ourselves and make up a lie, a believable one. The other person has to guess what the lie is."

"What do we get if we get the lie right?" she rearranged herself on the bed and he groaned when the movements gave him a better look of her breasts. She caught the look on his eyes and smirked, wagging a finger at him. "Bad Chris, stay down boy. Stopping ogling the girls." She giggled, looking around, finally grabbing a pillow that had been pushed to the edge of the bed and using it as a cover.

"You've turned me into a fiend, it's your own sexy fault." He pouted when the pillow obstructed the view and he drew a breath to try and clear his mind. A sly smile graced his face, he knew exactly what to bet on. "How about this, three rounds. Winner gets to pick and plan a future date, loser can't say no to the date no matter what the plan is.”

Her eyes got big when she understood exactly what that meant. Yeah baby, you’re not escaping so easily from me.

“And I can plan any date I like? Picnic, fly a kite, bungee-jumping?” she licked her lips, wide-eyed with all the possibilities but then hesitated, “Are you even allowed to bungee-jump? I mean, don’t you signed a contract stating you must look pretty and can’t do anything that might break a bone and halt productions?”

Chris threw his head back in laughter, this girl was amazing, so open and earnest, with no agenda, just a gorgeous girl genuinely interested in him.

“Kevin might have a problem with the last one, but sure, whatever you plan.” He admitted, enthralled by the possibilities. A B&B on a vineyard near the coast where they could spend the whole day naked and tangled in each other, only coming out to see the sun setting and to find a small restaurant to eat. A cabin in the woods, lots of pillows scattered around the floor in front of a crackling fireplace. A four-day weekend in Italy, sightseeing near Verona and Genova, drinking wine and holding hands without anyone bothering them. Any of the scenarios had amazing appeal, he just needed to make sure he’d have a chance to make them come to life.

“Fine, let's play,” she grinned. “You’re going skinny dipping at Otsego Lake, just so you know.”

“Is that supposed to scare me? I’d love to go skinny dipping with you.” Chris waggled his eyebrow at her. “Here's an easy one; I played quarterback in high school and we were county champions. My favorite color is blue but sky blue, like on a summer day. I once fooled my brother into peeing his own pants in front of our nanny."

"Leave it to you to describe a color like you’re in the middle of a romcom. That’s one truth." She smiled when he nodded. "Uhm. You're crazy about football and golly, could you ever be so mean? Yikes. But then again, you were banned from the museum…" She tapped her fingers to her mouth. "Nah, you would’ve told me that yesterday, so that’s the lie, no one is that mean."

He made a horn-like sound, shouting "WRONG!"

“What! Oh my god, you’re a terrible person Christopher,” her mouth drops in disbelief. “Your poor, poor brother!”

“I truly was the worst brother ever when it came to pranks.” He had a smirk on his face

“Remind me to never go on a prank war with you, Mr. Evans. And here I am imagining you’re star quarterback, getting all cozy with the head cheerleader and being crowned Prom King.”

“As if. I was the scrawny kid from Drama Class, joined the lacrosse team to kiss up to dad. I was actually dumped at prom!” At her incredulous face, he laughed. “It’s true, we’re at this party and she said I was too immature and deluded if I thought the acting gig would pay off. But I did get ‘Most Likely to Die Doing Something Stupid’.”

“Oh, she must hate herself right about now.” Lucy chuckled. “Have you ever saw her again after that?”

“Not personally, but she works at Lincoln-Sudbury High, Carly has told me she gloats that I took her to prom and never mentions that she left me alone to cry in my neighbor’s front lawn.”

“The cheekiness of the woman! Next time you do an interview, rattle her out, let’s see how she feels about that.”

Chris loved that she feels indignant on his behalf.

“Okay, your turn little lady.”

“Let’s see. I’m ambidextrous, my handwriting looks exactly the same no matter which hand I use.  I was once part of a girl band named The Fantastic Four, no correlation to your movie at all. I’m terrified of clowns to the point of hyperventilating.”

The grin on his face was almost maniacal. “I can’t wait to plan our date.”

She eyed him with distrust. “No way you know it that easily.”

“What, you think I don’t know you usurped the girl band story from Penny?”

Her mouth dropped. “NO! How could you know that?”

“It’s actually pure dumb luck and the fact that I have a great memory.” He confessed. “A bunch of us went to Mayfair at Harvard Square back in May and they had a food truck called The Fantastic Flour. I tried my best to ignore the jokes and steered clear of the place. Penny, on the other hand, insisted it was destiny and told us about her garage band. For some reason, it stuck with me.”

“You’re no fun!” She complained with a smile. “That was my best fake story, I can’t bluff to save my life!”

“You must suck at poker then,” Chris smirked. “Next time we’re playing strip-poker.”

She laughed long and hard before he pounced on her, throwing the pillow she was using to cover herself to the side of the bed and dragging her naked body on top of his, tickling her sides. They tumbled around in the bed, sharing a long kiss and Chris saw the moment her pupils dilated. God, he wanted to have her again, she was an addiction he could freely partake in but now wasn’t the time. No, there are things that need to be discussed, they couldn’t spend these few hours fucking each other, as lovely as that thought was.

“How about we go see if that omelet is still warm enough?” He helped her up from the bed, giving her a terry cloth robe that was way to bigger for her and put it on another one.

“Thank you for coming back home with me last night. I’ve had more fun in the past two days than most of this past year.” He hugged her after tying a loose knot on the robe.

“Thank you for asking me to come back.” She cupped his cheek and stroked his beard. “I really liked spending time with you, Chris. Us meeting was the highlight of a somewhat insipid year.”

A deer in headlights. That was most likely the look he sported now. He knew this conversation was coming, but still, he dreaded it.

“Uhm. About that. We need to talk.”

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

One cold Spanish Omelet and three cups of coffee later, Chris and Lucy sat on the family room sofa. He lounged lazily on the chase with Lucy laying down across him, her head on his lap. His phone was docked on the side table, Christmas music coming from hidden speakers around the living room, Chris had turned on the lights of his Christmas tree and the twinkling lights played around them.

“Are you sure you’re okay about the whole blind date thing?” Chris inquired, slowly combing her hair, a small gesture he was learning she loved and he enjoyed doing it for her.

“Do I still want to kill Penny? Sure do. I might push her from our dock into the frozen waters of Otsego lake at least once while we’re back home but I know her heart was in the right place. She was right, I wouldn’t have come if she told me.”

“And why not? Was the idea of meeting me that bad?”

“Of course not.” Lucy cradled the hand that rested on her belly but didn’t look up at him. “I have a less than stellar record with men and although these past years have been rather lonely, I welcomed it, it was better than putting myself out there just to get shot down again. I didn’t bother looking and I got rather creative at avoiding my friends meddling in my non-existent love life. They tried to set me up with people before, Terry even asked me if I had changed sides, and the next time we hung out he introduced me to Lauren and hightailed out of there.”

“Oh?” He pulled on her hair, bringing her eyes to his. “So, you and Lauren…”

“Get your mind out of the gutter Christopher, nothing happened. She’s a lovely girl, but I’m not bi. We had a few drinks, plotted to kill Terry and parted ways as good friends. She’s married now, her wife is pregnant. It’s a little boy by the way.” Lucy fetched her phone from the coffee table and opened Instagram, showing him a post about a week old.

“Lauren is the brunette?” She nodded and Chris looked at another picture. “Well damn.”

“You’re imagining it, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, sorry baby, I’m a man after all.” He gave her a very unapologetic grin when she snatched the phone out of his hand. His eyes searched hers and he was serious when he spoke. “I’m sorry you had such terrible experiences with dating before. But I’m glad you decided to come to Boston.”

She smiled radiantly at him.

“Me too.”

They were silent but for Sinatra singing about a white Christmas and Dean Martin crying about letting it snow. Well, he had gotten his wish about half an hour ago, the streets were once again covered in white fluff, thick flocks hitting the large windows panels.

“I have a really important question for you,” Chris said, stopping the slow massage of her scalp.

“Oh… Okay?” Lucy studied his face, looking for a clue of what that question could be.

“Have you seen the ring?” He questioned with a serious expression.

“What? Oh, the ring! No, Garret wouldn’t show it to me! It’s on my travel bag and I’m not even allowed to look at it. He actually used that word.” She huffed.

“Can you believe he wouldn’t show it to me? I’m his best friend, I should at least get a peak before the big day.” Chris trailed off. “Okay, maybe not, but I’m so curious, he wouldn’t tell me anything besides it’s from Tiffany.”

“He asked me about Penny’s preferences, so I’m guessing it might be a gold band with a central round diamond in a solitaire style, but Garret would not confirm even that for me. I know he wants Penny to see it before anyone else but come on, gimme the deets, brah!” They laughed together and Chris ribbed her for her terrible Boston accent.

“Garret’s my best friend. He’s been there for me since my first year of high school, he believed in me when I didn’t.” His forehead creased. “She’ll say yes, right? I mean, you’re her sister, you must know whether Penny might say yes or no.”

“Do I know she’ll say yes?” Lucy lifted his shoulder in a half shrug.  “I mean, I can’t know for sure that a hundred percent Chris, but she’s absolutely and irrevocably in love with Garret since maybe their second date. She called me after he dropped her off and we spent two hours talking, which basically consisted of Penny praising Garret from his eyes to the way he would treat the staff at the restaurant.” Happiness swelled within her when she remembered how excited Penny sounded on the phone. I’m gonna marry him someday babyboo, I just know that. “Do I believe she won’t let him finish the proposal before she starts screaming yes? Absolutely!”

Chris massaged the back of his neck.

“God, you scared me for half a second.” Chris chuckled before continuing. “He was insufferable during the first few months. We’re all over Europe to promote the first Avengers and I asked both him and Guillermo to come with me, so they could keep me company and I wouldn’t be so strung out with anxiety. Garret would get up at 2 am whenever we were so he could call Penny when she got back from work, or she would call him at 5 am her time while we’re pausing for lunch. I told Garret to fly her to Paris so they could meet, impress her with a date on a café near the Eiffel Tower and she said no, that they weren’t at that point in their relationship yet. That’s when I knew Penny would be perfect for Garret, she wasn’t easily impressed by what his money could buy her. He told me once her favorite type of date included coffee and sitting on a park bench watching their dogs play.”

“Dad made a point to always impart on us that you shouldn’t measure a person by their wealth but on how well they treat those who do not share it,” Lucy told him. “It’s so easy to become jaded and lose perspective of how to be a decent human being when you don’t know what it is to struggle to make ends meet.”

“Can I ask you something?” the twinkly lights were playing tricks with her hair, the bright shades of red tangling from Chris' fingers. He paused to rearrange the strands falling over her eyes, carefully tucking it behind her ears. “I don’t want you to think I���m a conceited prick or that my ego needs its own zip code or something but aside from that the various quips about my acting, you never once mentioned me being, well, me.”

“And you wanted me to?” Lucy had a hand softly stroking Dodger’s auburn coat while the pooch lay on the floor next to them, his head rolling back and forth after her hand. Her eyes focused on his, studying him. “Did you want me to fangirl and be all over the great Chris Evans, Actor?”

“No. Must definitely not.” His left hand grabbed hers and brought it to his mouth, lightly kissing her knuckles, drawing in a breath. “It got harder to make friends or date people outside the industry since Captain America. I knew that would happen, but it sucks sometimes you know? I really don’t like dating actress but… it’s easier, less messy if you will.”

“Garret once commented you got really good at smelling fakers.” Lucy sat back up and faced Chris, pulling her legs close to her chest, head resting on her knees.

“Yeah. It’s a skill you need to hone very quickly otherwise you’ll live in a world full of people trying to blow smoke up your ass to get something from you. You see this person you want to interact with, be it a girl you wanna hook up with or this dude who talks beer and artisanal cheese and maybe could be a friend, you know, and you approach them, you wanna get to know them, but the minute they see the actor, Chris disappears and Chris Evans, must take his place. That had been my life up to two nights ago. Then you appear and while you did acknowledge the actor, you brushed past him and went straight to Chris.” He got a hold of her hand before continuing, “We met and didn’t talk much before we were all over each other, and can you really blame me for that? ‘Cuz look at you… But when we did talk, you busted my chops about football, you weren’t afraid to tell me to shut up when I needed to, and I fucking loved that, it’s been a while since a girl called me on my shit.”

She held her right hand over her heart and raised the left one, “I, Lucy Seabrook, hereby promise to always call you on your shit.”

“Always, huh? That sounds awful like you’d want to spend more time with me.”

“I do. I’ve been smitten with you for quite some time Chris.” At his puzzled face, she continued. “Although I’ve never come to visit Penny in Boston, she’s been plenty of times to New York. At first, she’d come with a couple of friends, or we’d get together with my friends and consume a lot of alcohol and enjoy a hell of a good time. And one day instead of a couple of girlfriends, she brought Garret. Just a friend, you know, nothing to see here, she said that shit every other phone call, but I knew better. Anyways, Garret had this friend, Chris. And Chris is the coolest guy on the planet; they went snowboarding, they went to Walt Disney World with his family, they went to Vegas and had a hell of good time… Chris couldn’t be around much, but he was a bro like no other. Garret respects and admires you like a true brother by the way.”

“It’s mutual,” Chris crossed his leg and turned to her, waiting.

“So Chris is a constant on your life even though you never met him; he’s now in the stories your sister tells you as well, he helps at Christopher’s Heaven, donates a good chunk of money to the place. Of course, you’ve seen pictures of everyone, and the guy in the left holding a beer or making a face, that’s Chris, such a fun and down to earth guy, such a great outlook on life. And then one day you’re watching Game of Thrones with your sister and her boyfriend, and hey, isn’t that a tv spot from Winter Soldier? The Captain America guy kinda looks like your friend Chris, Gar and OH.” She shook her head sheepishly. “I fell for you before I met you. Not with the actor, but this great guy named Chris, who happens to act and plays Captain Steve Rogers now and then, who’s friends with my sister and her boyfriend. It does help that he’s crazy good in bed and damn, can make me weak on the knees just by kissing my neck.”

“Crazy good in bed, huh?” Cupping her face, he softly kisses her lips, hands coaxing her body towards him. Opening her legs, Lucy straddles Chris’ lap, her shirt riding up to expose her bottom and Chris moans when she rubs against his cock through the thin lace and cotton barriers.

She giggled then, a beautiful sound that made his warmed his whole body. He needed to make sure this was just the first of many, many dates. Chris leaned closer, lips gently brushing hers. He enveloped her small hands with his large ones.

“I live a hectic life.” His eyes turned serious and he saw a look of worry cross her face. “I can be gone for months at times, sometimes with no break at all. I’m an asshole sometimes, scratch that, most of the time. I’m no prize Lucy, but I really, really wanna see you again.”

A smile tucked at the corner of her lips, freeing one hand and running her index finger along his forehead, smoothing a frown line that he didn’t know he sported.

“You might not believe you are blue ribbon material Chris, but it’s part of my job to judge talents when I encounter them and you, my dear, deserve first place in a lot of categories.” The tips of his ears felt hot at her praise. “I’m hard headed and a workaholic, I spend over eighty hours teaching and training and my brother calls me a mule, that’s how stubborn I am. Having said that, I really, really wanna see you again as well.”

Chris let of a breath he didn’t know he was holding, a big smile on his face, bringing her close for a hug.

“So, I’m blue ribbon material you say?” he moved back to look at her, raising one eyebrow suggestively and tickling her side. “Can I see the judges notes, please? I need to know what my strengths were and where I need to improve.”

“Stop, stop!” her giggles filled the room and he thought they were the cutest thing. “You’re such a polpetto Chris!”

“I’m a polpetto si, a meatball ah?,” his Italian accent sucked, but she laughed harder when he closed his hands in the traditional Italian gesture and shook them exclaiming, “Dio santo!”

She rested her forehead on his naked chest, a hand coming up to trace his clavicle tattoo.

“Is that all the Italian you know, caro mio?”

“Yeah, that’s about it.” Skilled fingers unbuttoned the shirt she wore, parting the sides to unveil her breasts. His palmed the globes, thumbs skimming the quickly hardening nipples. “We used to pester Uncle Mike for curse words, but he always told us vaffanculo, so that’s the only one I know.”

She planted small kisses on his tattoo, the tip of her tongue tracing the words, fingering his pebbled nipples. “Voglio le tue mani su tutto il corpo e la tua testa fra le gambe. Ti piace cozi?”

“I have no idea what you just said but bring it on baby.” Lucy yelped when his strong hands picked her from his lap and laid her back on the couch, opening her legs with his knees to rest his pelvis against her, a hiss escaping her when his covered cock made contact with her mound. “Bring it on.”

__________________________________________

Notes:

Polpetto – meatball

Dio Santo – oh my god. Use lots of hands gesture when using this one!

Caro mio – my dear, my love

Vaffanculo – up your ass, mostly a light version of fuck you.

Voglio le tue mani su tutto il corpo e la tua testa fra le gambe. Ti piace cozi? – I want your hands all over my body and your head between my legs. Would you like that?

______________________________________ TAG LIST:

@patzammit, @holyground1996, @imaginesofdreams

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #192: Steel City Nightmare!

February, 1980

Weirdly my first thought was that this could be a Superman cover. Because Wonder Man is very red and blue and I somehow overlooked Iron Man at first. And punching a big glowy guy full of kirby krackle is just the kind of nonsense Superman would get up to.

And later in this issue, Wonder Man ends up in a situation that reminds him of “an old Max Fleisher cartoon” and takes a page from the unnamed hero thereof.

So I wonder (ha!) if its a coincidence or if I’m picking up on an intentional homage.

Anyway.

Last time: the Avengers won their freedom from Agent Gyrich’s restrictions by ditching their senatorial hearing to go fight Grey Gargoyle. There’s more to it then that but basically the very short time when Gyrich had much sway on the Avengers is over.

This time: A steel city nightmare.

We actually start with Wonder Man and Tony Stark touring a steel factory.

And the narration reminds us of the easily forgotten fact that Wonder Man aka Simon Williams and Tony Stark were once competitors. Until Simon Williams got in huge amounts of trouble for embezzling money and then agreed to let a Nazi scientist experiment on him and then died.

But this steel factory belonged to Wonder Man back before all of that and Tony Stark asked him to come on the inspection to help him decide whether or not to add the factory to the holdings of Stark International.

I might be a kind of insensitive gesture if Wonder Man gave a crap about his life as a businessman, which he doesn’t. He just seems kind of amused by the blast from his past.

Meanwhile nearby, some of the workers ooh and ahh over getting to see a real superhero like Wonder Man from so close.

The foreman, Joseph Conroy, brags about seeing Thor use this very factory to repair Mjolnir a couple years back. Conroy even found a chip of Uru afterward and made a good luck charm/keychain out of it.

One of the other workers says something weirdly threatening though.

One of the other workers: “Maybe you’d better switch to rabbit’s feet, Conroy. That lucky charm don’t seem to be workin’ too good lately... does it?”

Conroy nervously excuses himself to get Wonder Man’s autograph for his daughter.

Aww, Wonder Man actually has fans. Children fans.

But later as Conroy returns from getting said autograph, another worker jumps out of concealment and smacks him with an ore spoon.

Knocking him over the railing and sending him falling right into the furnace.

Where he just. Vaporizes. Eesh.

Alas Conroy. You cameo from a Thor comic, you.

Unfortunately, in addition to the tragedy of a man being murdered, him falling into the vat of molten metal also spilled some molten metal on the cauldron operator.

Who obviously runs off screaming, suffering terrifying injuries.

But the cauldron continues on its automated way, operating on a pre-set rate of flow which pours molten metal all over the manufactory floor.

Less than good.

There’s no time to get all the workers to safety so the crucible has to be stopped.

Tony tries to slip away to become Iron Man but Wonder Man grabs his briefcase from him and throws it across the factory to hit the control panel.

Leaving Tony Stark just sadly watching and thinking “Aw, geez. My armor...!”

Its like a brief but effective example of how secret identities can backfire. I love it.

And the gambit works. The crucible stops pouring.

But the already spilled metal is still flowing towards workers so Wonder Man jumps off the catwalk to go save the day.

Wonder Man: “Somebody’s got to stop that molten steel! And since I’m the only Avenger around, it looks like I’m elected!”

I do like Wonder Man sometimes. Despite his insecurity and self-doubt, when the moment comes he almost always steps up.

Anyway, this is the moment where Wonder Man takes some inspiration from not-named-but-totally-Superman cartoons, grabs some I-beams, bends them into U-beams, and dams up the molten flow.

And it works! You’re two for two on good ideas, Wonder Man!

Then he hears someone calling for help and he rushes in.

One of the workers tripped and someone got his fool ankle stuck in the stamp press.

He begs Wonder Man to turn off the press but Wonder Man doesn’t know how to do that.

Despite once being an inventor businessman, he thinks best with his muscles. So he decides to muscle this problem.

So he jumps under the press and holds it up, gloating that he once fought Thor to a standstill!

A steelworker: “But no one can hold a stamp press back! It’s set for fifty thousand tons!”

Wonder Man: “Don’t worry, friend -- I’m Wonder Man! I once fought Thor to a standstill! And if I can *ung* do that... s-surely I can *ghk* ... can *urf* f-fifty thousand, huh? HHEELLPP!”

Thankfully Tony Stark shows up, a sentiment some would say they never thought would be expressed.

He pulls the worker free and tells Wonder Man to jump clear.

Buuuuuuuuut.... Wonder Man accidentally.... stripped the threads on the thing.

If he jumps out head first, he’ll get a flattened bottom. If he jumps out feet first, a flattened head.

Tony Stark thinks of a third option though.

Grabbing Wonder Man by the belt and pulling him out in all one go so he clears the press.

Good job, Tony Stark.

Yet another sentiment that blah blah et cetera.

So here is part of why I find Wonder Man so endearing I guess. He sure does goof up a lot, often related directly to him bragging about how strong and cool he is. He’s a very human character for a character that’s no longer strictly human.

Wonder Man: “*Whew* That’s what I get for being cocky. Guess I still haven’t had enough experience as a super hero to anticipate all the angles. Thanks, Tony.”

MEANWHILE, AT THE MANSION OF AVENGE

A man approaches Avengers Mansion and tries to gain access with a card.

REJECTED

The security tentacles grab him and then a net is dropped on him, and then laser cannons activate.

So I guess the security system is working.

Agent Gyrich bursts out of the mansion and demands to know who this guy is and why he’s skulking about.

Sid Bloat: “I-I’m Sid Bloat, sir. I-I live down the street an’ I got this neighbor who’s been playin’ his stereo real loud, y’know? My landlord won’t do nothin’ about it, but since the Avengers are good-guys, I thought, well...”

Henry Peter Gyrich: “You mean you’ve attempted to breach a top security installation to solicit some of the most powerful beings on this continent... for a noise complaint?!”

Also the card he tried to use to gain access when prompted for a clearance card was a credit card.

I’m just flabbergasted by that.

I don’t know whether the line of thought was trying to unlock the high tech front door lock like you could with a less advanced lock using a credit card. Or whether he was trying to pay an entry fee. Good lord.

The Avengers all come out to see what the fuss is and Captain America tells the guy that the Avengers are a specialized organization and don’t reeeeeeeeally handle problems like noise complaints.

Gyrich tells the guy to go to the police.

Vision floats out through the wall and says he’s heard that the huu-man method in this situation is hitting a broomstick against one’s ceiling “can be an effective mode of communication in cases such as yours.”

Sid Bloat leaves to maybe take some of these suggestions into consideration but really is thinking he should have gone to the Fantastic Four.

I’m not going to look it up because I don’t want to be disappointed but if the concurrent Fantastic Four comic this month or the following month didn’t have Sid Bloat show up with his noise complaint then comics are a failed medium.

With that little nonsense over, Gyrich is satisfied that the security on the Avengers Mansion is adequate and that some random asshole off the street can’t just walk into the place like he did that one time.

He doesn’t like their newly won autonomy but orders are orders and he’ll be checking up on them from time to time. But for now, GOOD BYE.

And the instant he’s gone, the Avengers go ‘welp time to expand our roster just because we can.’

To be fair, they’re only going to ask Hawkeye and Yellowjacket. Two additional people plus I think Ms Marvel is sticking around because Scarlet Witch is still planning to take some ‘me time.’

Falcon actually suggests Hawkeye because he thinks it might ease the bad blood between Hawkeye and himself which-

Look, Falcon. I appreciate that you’re a nice guy who would think of Hawkeye when this opportunity came up. But the ‘bad blood’ is entirely on Hawkeye’s shoulders.

He’s blaming you for a thing you didn’t want to do but were emotionally blackmailed into by Cap to fulfill restrictions set up by Agent Gyrich. But Hawkeye took the brunt of his anger out on you, the Falcon.

Fuck ‘im is what I say.

Not that it matters. The contact number that Hawkeye left with the Avengers is out of service now that Hawkeye has a better gig and better digs working at Cross Technological Enterprises.

Meanwhile, Janet calls Hank “Giant Ant-Man Yellowjacket” Pym and lets him know that he can rejoin the team as a full-time Avenger but he’s enjoying having time to do pure research.

Also some chemicals are boiling over and he doesn’t want to be the jackass that spills chemicals on himself and gains superpowers. Nope, he’s the jackass that tested chemicals on himself on purpose without doing any kind of other testing on living matter first.

But me calling back to Grey Gargoyle and also throwing my hands up in defeat at the lack of safety protocols in comic book science aside, Hank hangs up on Jan to go deal with some chemicals that are boiling over.

Janet van Dyne, aka the Wasp: “Hank! What do you -- Hank? Hello? Ooo, Henry Pym, you’re infuriating! Just wait’ll I get home! I’ll show you! Or worse, I won’t show you!

Given what I know is coming, her trying to get him to rejoin the team has a foreboding feel to it. Geez.

Its true what they say. Not all of wisdom brings joy.

Later, after Wasp has gotten out of her superhero outfit to put on a nightgown to make a phone call to Hank and then gotten back into her superhero outfit to have a house meeting, uh, there’s a kind of house meeting.

Captain America: “Terrific. When we can’t add Avengers, they’re running out of our ears. But when we can add Avengers, everyone’s busy. Makes sense.”

Hah. A common problem to many in different permutations.

Beast suggests re-inducting Wonder Man. And I’m surprised it took so long for someone to make the suggestion. He was very recently with the team and verbally regretting that he’d have to leave it soon.

I guess they didn’t want to add too many people all at once and they wanted to soothe Hawkeye’s crybaby feelings and also wanted to let Jan hang out with her husband during superhero stuff.

But after that fell through, I’m surprised someone didn’t go ‘oh hey Wonder Man’ before Beast did.

But then, they’re besties. And I hope the X-Men never takes Beast back. Only bad things happen to him there. Or happened by him. I don’t think Beast would have broken the space-time continuum just to be a petty dick if he stuck with the Avengers.

Anyway, as we’ve seen, Wonder Man is in Pittsburgh with Tony Stark so why not bop over and surprise him with the offer?

But Vision notes that not all of them would be able to make the trip, seeing that Scarlet Wanda has her bags packed for her vacation time.

Vision: “Are you certain you must leave, Wanda?”

Scarlet Witch: “Yes, Vision. There are things I have to sort out. Things I’ve got to settle... on my own. Please try to understand.”

Vision: “Your decision is perplexing, my wife, and very human. I do not understand -- but I do accept.”

Vison + Scarlet Witch: “I love you.” -kiss-

Aww.

Geez. I’m really angry at John Byrne all of a sudden for no reason. Huh. Weird.

MEANWHILE, Pittsburgh.

The steelworkers set up a memorial for Joseph Conroy.

Since there’s nothing left of anyone who falls into molten slag, its tradition that the last ingot poured from the steel someone died in is set up on the grounds as a kind of tombstone. Tombsteel. Non-grave marker.

But the steel mill owner Vince Paretta is quick to reassure prospective buyer Tony Stark that this doesn’t happen often, swearsies! This plant has an A-1 safety rating! He then drags Tony off to finalize negotiations.

As the workers and executives leave the yard, the sky fills with dark roiling clouds. The recently placed ingot begins to quake and smoke and finally

OH YEAH

A giant naked flame man bursts out from within it.

Obviously, this kind of pyrotechnic makes some noise and inside the office, Stark, Paretta, and Wonder Man have heard it and see the fire man heading towards them.

Wonder Man tells Paretta to get his security team scrambled while Wonder Man goes to slow the thing down. But he tells Tony to stay right where he is, in the soon to be abandoned office.

Which conveniently gives Tony the opening to change into his armor.

Outside, this monster gets named in the most logical way possible. Some random thing that someone shouts at it, yelling "H-holy Hannah! That thing looks like a living inferno!” and thus we will call this creature Inferno. As the caption box lampshades “The description fits.”

Wonder Man rushes forward to fight the shambling mass of man-shaped slag. He just runs right up and puts all his strength behind one mighty THRAM of a punch.

“But Inferno takes that punch, and -- almost politely -- returns it!”

FWOBOMM and also a SKABASH as Wonder Man smashes through a wall, headfirst.

Iron Man flies up from behind the creature and attempts to take it down with a blast of repulsor. But the creature shoots some of its own molten slag substance at the armored Avenger.

He’s protected from the heat by the refractory coating on the armor but the extra weight from the cooling slag throws off his balance and he SPUTCHs to the ground.

And now that both he and Iron Man have been made fools, Wonder Man concludes that this Inferno is big trouble. He decides to activate the emergency beacon he was given when he became a backup Avenger.

But as he does, Inferno ominously looms over him.

IN THE RECENT PAST AT AVENGERS MANSION.

Jarvis is happy that the loosened restrictions on the Avengers means that he is allowed to perform monitor duty now. That way the Avengers are free to do the Avengersy stuff.

Makes sense.

You don’t have CEOs personally manning call centers. You probably don’t need a superhero to watch a bunch of monitors.

But maybe we should and do.

Anyway.

Just as Jarvis has said all of that, the emergency beacon goes off. Shortly, Ms. Marvel reports to Captain America that Wonder Man has activated his top priority emergency beacon.

Captain America: “But what could possibly be in Pittsburgh that could threaten Wonder Man?”

He was knocked out by a stone man once. Hell, he was knocked out by Beast once. Lets not act like Wonder Man’s durability isn’t highly arbitrary.

But here’s an additional thing. The beacon was designed to keep pleeping until shut off at the mansion OR if the beacon itself is totally destroyed.

And Wonder Man’s signal just stopped.

DUN DUN DUN!

Next issue: Battleground: Pittsburgh!

This is a two-parter and we’re only half done so I’ll have more to say when we finish that other parter.

One thing though: if the Avengers were going to end up going to Pittsburgh because of Wonder Man’s emergency beacon then why set up the plot point that they were considering visiting him to offer him membership on the team?

One or the other would have sufficed, comic!

Either they go visit and coincidentally end up there just when he needs help with a living inferno or they decide to offer him membership when he gets back from his trip.

I don’t know why this bothered me enough to comment on but that’s the world we live in now.

Hey, follow @essential-avengers. Not only for great content like this but older. BUT ALSO: I just remembered that I’d promised to cover some alternate Avengers if I hit 20 followers and we’re at 13. Which is more than half of 20 by at least three. If we hit 20 followers you can ask that I look at one of these significant alternate Avengerses. You could even ask me to take a peep at the Mangaverse Avengers or United They Stand Avengers, you bastards.

[arukou-arukou]

in the early days, steve doesn't realize the avengers care about him a lot because they are vastly different people with vastly different socialization than the commandos, but then something happens to him in a fight and the avengers collectively flip their lids and that is how he learns he is Very Important to them

Steve had never been a stranger to friendly teasing. Bucky was a little shit, of course, but so were the Commandos. He’d been called every moniker that popped into his friends’ brains: “Captain Tightpants” (long before it was a cultural reference, thank you very much), “Captain Mom,” “Twinkle Toes,” “All-American Showgirl,” “Blushing Betty,” and names far more filthy. But he’d understood why. He was the commanding officer and he was, when it came down to it, a greenie who got damn lucky 95% of the time. Dugan, Dernier, Falsworth, even Bucky, they all would have been infinitely more qualified to be CO, and so he knew where the teasing was coming from. He knew it was his men’s way of telling him they cared for him while keeping his ego in check. (Bucky could’ve told them Steve was a good enough self-critic as it was and they all could just damn well stick to the dancing references.)

The Avengers, though. Steve had no idea what to think of the way they spoke to him.

“Hey, Capsicle, you mind moving to the left? You’re in my sun.” Tony, of course.

“Look at this. I found a fossil in the kitchen.” Natasha, with a smirk.

“Cap, put on a sweater. None of us were planning on a peep show today.” Clint.

“Fair Steven, Anthony tells me you have something lodged in your behind. If you would but visit the healing halls of my mother, she might be able to aid you.” Thor. (Steve genuinely did not know if Thor was in on Tony’s joke or if he’d taken the “stick up his ass” thing seriously.)

It was all so crass and so…so callous. No one slapped him on the back to let him know they were joking, no one laughed, no one turned it off and just talked to him like a human being. It always seemed to be cruel names and cutting comments, never a kind word or even companionable silence. Could people in the 21st century not share a room without biting into each other? Bruce was the only one who spoke to him with anything like neutrality, and even then, he spoke to Steve barely at all. Mostly he kept to himself, holed up in the lab Tony had gifted to him, emerging only for meals and yoga sessions with Natasha.

They’d been through an alien invasion together, had each other’s backs, and Steve had thought maybe that shared experience would ease the rough edges between him and the others, but apparently not. He was the fuddy duddy, the scolding father, the stodgy CO no one wanted around. Message received.

And that was fine. It wasn’t war times anymore, and Steve had read the files. His new team was full of people who were lone wolves by nature, and what’s more, none of them were technically soldiers. Clint had been once, but that was a long time ago. Nat, Tony, Bruce, all lone operators. Thor had been in…something. But it didn’t sound like any sort of military command Steve had been part of–it sounded more like bash anything that moves and strategy or chain-of-command be damned. Fine. Different times. Different circumstances. He could adapt.

He started taking meals in his quarters, exercising at odd hours when he knew the rest of the Avengers wouldn’t be around, tiptoeing around the shared living spaces or using emergency exit stairwells to avoid them entirely. Maybe an apartment in Brooklyn would be better, someplace that kept him out of the other Avengers’ hair and allowed them to relax around him when they did socialize. Which at the rate they were going, would be never.

A few times, Steve tried to arrange team-building activities. SHIELD had given him packets about those. “Build unity through fun!” “A commanding officer brings his unit together! Five easy steps to better group dynamics!” Everything flopped. For all the excitement the pamphlets implied with their effusive exclamation marks, Steve watched as the Avengers awkwardly sat in circles over card games or food spreads, not speaking, not laughing, not doing much of anything besides fidgeting with their phones.

He let it go. They functioned well enough on the field and he…he’d figure something out. Some way to stop seeing bowler hats or glowing cigarette butts from the corners of his eye. Sometimes he swore he could smell them, unwashed bodies muted with mud, a godawful stench really, but his godawful stench. His men.

And the Avengers weren’t. Not his anyway. Not really.

“Steve! We got another landing over here. Jesus Christ, these ones have lasers.”

“Please say the lasers are attached to their heads.” Tony, of course. Another reference Steve didn’t’t quite grasp.

“Guys! A little help.”

“Widow, Thor, you hold the line here. Don’t let them take the bridge. I’m on my way, Hawkeye. Coordinates?” Steve took off at a dead run, wondering if he should radio in Tony for a lift.

“They’re coming in on the Pier. We’ve got stragglers. Trying to clear the civilians but I can’t hold them off and herd.”

“Iron Man?”

“On my way, Cap.”

Steve could hear the whine of the repulsors coming in behind him. He gauged the sound, checked the wind, took a flying leap, and caught hold of the hand Tony had stretched out for him. Tony used the momentum to swing Steve up into a firmer grip, an awkward half-hitch with one arm hooked over Tony’s shoulders and another leg over one thigh. They’d done it a million times in training, a few times on missions. It should have been easy, effortless. But the lasers.

Heat scored Steve’s bicep and then another feverish punch into his ribs. He had long enough to think “Not bad,” and then his leg slipped of its own accord, muscles going limp and lax. Tony must not have realized–Steve hadn’t made a noise, he didn’t think–because the next thing he know, the sky was above and icy wind was whistling all around him. Six burning seconds of hang-time and then concrete, his back on concrete. Except not concrete. Water. Freezing cold so cold.

Not again. Not like this.

Steve blacked out.

Memories. Impressions.

A fervent voice in his ear.

Lightning in his side.

Blue blue blue all-consuming.

Fingers on his forehead.

Ma?

Cold air on his chest

cold cold

cold

For all the missions he’d run with the Avengers, this was the first time he found himself waking in the med bay. Usually it was Clint or Tony, and one very memorable and terrifying incident with Natasha. Steve didn’t get knocked out and normal anesthesia wasn’t strong enough to take him under. No. His bones were set waking, his cuts stitched sans Novocain.

But he knew the antiseptic smell, the dim, warm lighting. The steady tattoo of a heart monitor and the pinch of a blood oxygen clip. Everything felt distant and muffled, like he was experiencing the world through a pillow. Underwater.

Involuntarily, he groaned, tried to jerk away from the thought. A shame his body wasn’t responding. Nothing felt right. Except. Except…

A hand on his. That was what the warm sensation was, right? Someone touching him.

“Steve?”

So distant and quiet, so thick. Prying his eyes open felt like lifting a car off himself, but when he did, there was a face hovering over him. He knew that face. Clint. Clint wide-eyed, unshaven, a cut on his cheek.

“Shit, you’re awake. Let me just, uh…”

Steve’s mind was coming back to itself, his senses sharpening. He almost wished he could push away the awareness, because with it came the knowledge that his body was broken broken broken. He’d never felt anything quite like what he was feeling now, even when he’d been sickly and weak and fragile. His side burned and pinched at him like acid. One arm itched and throbbed in turn, entombed in a thick plaster cast. From the waist down, nothing. Nothing at all.

“Clint?” he tried to ask, but his tongue was thick and dry and useless. In place of words another gravelly groan.

Behind Clint, another face Steve knew: Tony, equally unshaven, heavy bags of sleeplessness under his eyes, hair flattened into an unruly mess. Where was his fancy pomade, his slick, sharp gravity-defying style? But he held a cup of water with a straw and he brought it closer until the plastic was at Steve’s lips.

“Little sips, ok?” he said, trying to smile but mostly looking harried. “It would really suck to get sick all over yourself.”

Steve sipped, and the icy crystal clarity of the water chased away the last of his grogginess, brought the pain straight back to the forefront, where it clawed at him relentlessly. “The Lumerians?” he managed to rasp.

“Taken care of.” Natasha. She appeared at Clint’s shoulder, apparently unharmed, save for the haunted look in her eyes. “We drove them back into the water, apprehended their leader, and made it very clear that the Island of Manhattan was not for conquering.” Her expression went dangerously cold, and Steve almost felt bad for the Lumerians. Almost.

“My legs…” he started, trying to raise his head to look.

Clint and Tony moved as one, pressing him back against the bed. It embarrassed him that they could hold him down so easily. Worse, it scared him.

“Bad idea, Steve.” Bruce in the doorway. Steve could just see him from the corner of his eye. “You…it was a bad fall.”

Breath caught in his throat and his side sizzled and burned with the pain of it. “How bad?”

“Multiple vertebrae fractured, one leg shattered, one arm shattered. Plus the toxic effect of whatever was in their lasers. As near as we can tell, it has a similar effect to puffer-fish toxins. Paralytic. That’s why you fell. Couldn’t contract your muscles anymore.”

“I fell on one side.”

“Yeah. You’re lucky it wasn’t straight on your back. I don’t know…” Bruce didn’t finish the thought, but he didn’t have to. Steve could guess. Bruce moved closer to the bed, looking as grizzled as Clint, as tired as Tony.

Steve hated how his voice came out tiny and injured when he said, “I can’t feel my legs.”

Every face around him froze, eyes darting back and forth, communicating silently with each other in a way they never did with Steve. After a moment, Bruce sighed. “I was afraid that might be the case. In X-rays, t looked like your spinal cord was damaged, but there was no way to know the extent while you were comatose.”

There was a faint ringing in Steve’s ears, like the sound after a bomb. He tried to wiggle his toes, the ones on the side he guessed wasn’t broken into glassy shards. From the bottom of his line of vision he could see a lump where they must’ve been. Nothing. The blankets remained still.

“My guess is,” Bruce said slowly, waiting for Steve to look back up at him, “that the serum will do things for you that wouldn’t happen in normal humans. Not everyone can jump from ten stories up and survive, and that fall into the water would’ve killed a normal human. Your healing factor is unlike anything we’ve ever seen, so there’s a chance...”

He trailed off and Steve looked around the room again. Natasha’s face was still a blank, angry mask. Tony and Clint were both fidgeting, Clint with a straw and Tony with a tablet. Only Thor would meet his eyes. Steve looked back to Bruce.

“I don’t want to give you baseless hope, Steve. There are no guarantees here.”

“There are no guarantees anywhere,” Steve said, letting his eyes slip closed. The pain was worth behind his eyelids, his side burning like an electrical shock. “Thanks for...for sticking around. You guys didn’t have to stay here. I know you’ve got mission reports to file, other things to take care of.”

When he opened his eyes again, he wasn’t expecting the abject shock he saw in Bruce’s face, in Tony’s and Clint’s. Natasha looked almost sad, but Steve didn’t think that was the right word. Thor’s grave face suddenly reminded Steve just how many millennia he’d seen.

“Why wouldn’t we stay?” Tony whispered, and then something in his voice grew heated. “You almost died, Steve. You almost died and you seriously think that we would just fuck off to file reports while you were in here, alone?”

Steve flinched and looked toward Natasha again, taking comfort in her familiar  mask. “When you put it that way... I just meant that I’m awake now and you guys are busy. And I know I’m not exactly your favorite CO. I get it. It’s fine. Just...head on back to the penthouse.”

Tony made a noise like he’d been punched. Above Steve, Clint looked crestfallen, like a dog who’d been kicked. “Jesus, Steve, is that what you think? You think we don’t like you?” Clint’s hand on his shoulder squeezed, the movement almost convulsive and possessive. “Of course we like you. You, you trusted us. You trusted a bunch of fuck-ups and freaks to have your back in an alien invasion and you’ve trusted us since then on every mission we’ve had together. How could we not like you?”

Steve could see an IV under the skin of his hand, the tape peeling up at the edges. They must’ve put him on something, maybe a special drug concoction cooked up by Bruce. Steve would choose to believe that and to believe that was why he could feel tears pricking at the corners of his eyes, a lump forming in his throat. “You guys have a funny way of showing it.” Yes. Definitely drugged. He would’ve never said that in his right mind.

Between one blink and the next, Natasha was there, her fingers the barest touch on his face. It was like being brushed by a spider’s web, and Steve wanted to flinch away, but he couldn’t. She held him captive in her gaze, her mouth carved from marble. “We do. We’re all maladjusted reformed criminals here, Steve, and we forget that you’re not. I’m sorry. I should’ve seen.” Before he could answer, she bent and pressed her lips to his forehead, her arm wrapping his good shoulder in a delicate hug. “If you think,” she continued, breath warm on his skin, “for one second we’re leaving you alone here, you’ve got another think coming.”

There was another hand grasping his, the hand with the IV in it. He felt the catch and pull of callouses and tiny scars. From the corner of his eye he could see Tony, looking equal parts angry and determined. Thor towered behind him, his ancient eyes solemn and observant. Bruce circled the bed, ostensibly to check the IV, but once he was close enough he laid his hand on Steve’s head, right above where Natasha hovered.

“I will take first watch,” Thor announced. The others all moved back a little, though none of them broke contact. “Our captain is right in one thing. You all have been too long without sleep. I imagine he would be most displeased with us if we allowed our own health to fall to the wayside.”

“No,” Tony said flatly, his hand squeezing convulsively on Steve’s. “I’ve got a better idea.”

One frantic bluster of activity later, each of the Avengers returned, dragging heavy mattresses and sleep mats behind them, piles of blankets haphazardly tossed on top. When Tony stumbled in wrapped in a red silk robe, a king-size mattress in tow, Steve felt that suspicious prickle of tears again. The meds. Just the meds. He watched as one by one the Avengers settled in, Tony on his ridiculous mattress, half crunched into the wall. Clint was on a sleep mat, leaning up against a wall, bow in hand and quiver at his side. Bruce collapsed onto another mattress, his unruly curls spilling over the wrinkled sheets. Thor, true to his word, sat up in a chair, alert and still armored. Natasha hovered over him, wearing a sweatshirt that looked to large to be hers and a pair of athletic running shorts.

The stared at each other for a moment before Natasha crawled up onto his bed on his good side, carefully laying herself out in such a way that she touched none of his injuries. She opened the book he hadn’t realized she was carrying and began reading out loud, her voice clear in the suddenly silent room. The Hobbit. One of Steve’s favorites. Had she known? Steve snorted. Probably.

“J,” Tony said, “overhead at 25%, table lamp on.” The ceiling lights dimmed and the table lamp flicked on, casting a warm golden glow over all of them. Natasha’s voice settled on them like a heavy down blanket. Steve could hear the faint wheeze of Tony’s deep breathing and wondered if he’d been injured or if his lungs always labored that way. Clint looked asleep, but his hand was still wrapped firmly around his bow--a soldier’s sleep. Bruce had his back to them all, somehow still apart from them even in the cramped space of the med bay. Still Natasha read and Thor watched over them all with glittering blue eyes.

Wrapped in the warmth of it, the slowly dawning realization, Steve finally let his tears flow, relishing in the tickle of them over his cheeks, a reminder that he was alive and maybe he not quite so alone anymore. Natasha wiped them away and paused only briefly in her reading to kiss his forehead before continuing to read. From the corner of his eye, Steve saw his toes twitch.

[corruptionofteller]

Ruffling Gemma’s Feathers - by Jax

The crisp air of Charming hit Jax's face as he rounded the corner to the street that he had traveled more than a thousand times with Chibs and Hap in tow. His firm, muscular build leaned into the curb before straightening the jet black machine that rumbled under him. His Dyna Super Glide was one of his most prized possessions other than JT's knife that rested securely on his hip. It was the one item that reminded him most of his ol' man. Gemma had kept it stashed away in one of her little places for ‘safe keeping’ until Jax was old enough to prospect for the club.

The soles of Jax’s white Nikes met the damp pavement as he lowered his feet from the foot rests, his piercing blue eyes shielded behind the tinted lenses of his KC’s. His leather gloved hands itching to twist that throttle and roll in where the rest of his brothers were waiting at the clubhouse for church. Yet he waited, almost a sense of impatience radiating off him while the youngest of the prospects pushed open the iron gates to Jax’s heaven or hell, which one depended on the day.

His head nodded once, a short lived grin upon his face with his yet to be groomed whiskers. He hadn’t had time for that shit the last few days. Shower, clothes and his kutte on his back and he was ready to roll out. Plus the ladies loved the scruffy look and feel of his goatee and unshaven face. Made them purr like a cat in heat when that shit rubbed against their inner thigh as he buried his face in their pussy. Jax gave the throttle a twist, lifted his feet from the asphalt below and forced his harley into the parking lot of Teller-Morrow.

Before Jax could sift his fingers through the golden strands of his hair that was hanging in his face after removing his helmet and placing it on the seat, Gemma was at his side, hands placed precisely at her hips with that kind of stance that said she didn’t come rushing out just to say hi as Chibs and Hap removed themselves from their own rides to stroll to the clubhouse.

“We’ll see ye in church, brotha.” Chibs clapped the younger blonde on the shoulder as Gemma stepped up awaiting her greeting from her son.

“Mornin’ baby.” Gemma gave him a faint smile, one that told Jax something was bothering her.

“Hey ma.” Jax presented his mother with his version of good morning; a coy grin at the woman who birthed him. Before his grin disappeared though he could sense the tapping of Gemma’s foot, the pointed toe of her boot doing a dance on the pavement. A slight roll of his eyes, careful to lower those eyes away from that of his mother.

“A’right, what’s goin’ on?” He could obviously sense some shit that was bothering Gemma, christ it could be anything though; she always put on some big exaggerated  performance no matter how small or big the problem could be.

“Your stupid, junkie whore of an ex-wife. That’s the goddamn problem Jackson.”

Gemma’s lips flattened in a line, arms now crossing across the front of her while she started to pace. Jax casually pulled open his kutte, slipping his ungloved hand into the inner pocket to retrieve his smokes. His eyes lifted upward as his mother glared down at him, knowing his calmness was annoying the shit out of her.

“And?” Putting the open pack of cigarettes towards his mouth he slipped one from the packaging until it was hanging easily between the corner of his lips. Lighting it, he returns his gaze to his mother.  “Look, mom, I got alot a’ shit to do today. The junkie whore ain’ one of my priorities and to tell ya the truth she never will be. Stop leaving her ruffle your goddamn feathers for christ sakes. Abel ain’ goin’ anywhere, a’right?”

That blonde haired, crank shooting, poor excuse for a woman wasn’t worth getting himself worked up over. Not today. He had a full table waiting for him and it had barely broke 9 am. Whatever the bitch wanted, he’d have to deal with that another day.

“I’m telling you Jackson, she’s gonna…” Jax, now half annoyed as the smoke drifted up into the sky, pinching the filter between his thumb and forefinger to yank the Marlboro from his mouth.

“She’s gonna what?! Try to take my kid away? Ain’ no judge in this fuckin’ world gonna give her custody of no kid, especially my goddamn kid! You got that?”

It was obvious Gemma was now ready to back down where Wendy was concerned. He didn’t have time for this shit and his mother knew damn well to drop it.

“I get it baby, but..”

“No buts ma..leave it the fuck alone. /I’ll/ deal with my ex-wife. Stay the hell out of it.” With one more long, drawn out inhale, the filter of the half smoke cigarette tumbled across the pavement before being crushed under the weight of Jax’s foot. Placing a reassuring hand on his mother’s side, he leaned in and settled a kiss to his mother cheek, the tone of his voice now in a much calmer state.

“Just leave it alone.” Without another word Jax retreated away from the matriarch. His arms swayed as he sped up his pace towards the clubhouse doors, only pausing for a brief moment when he noticed Chibs with a dark haired girl just outside the gates of TM.

[thyroxy]

Thyroxy Part 1 – The original Thyroxy – Diagnosis

Where to start? From the beginning? Thereabouts..

I was about 14 when I went for a jog with my mum and started hyperventilating. Mum, in her hard parenting style told me to walk home as she kept running. I sat for a couple of minutes and somewhat recovered. Determined, I trailed after her, pulling myself along, walking and jogging through the suburb, desperate to catch up. I wasn’t a fatty, not even slightly chubby. I was actually so skinny that it I put my forearms together I couldn’t make the skin touch. People would say I had hollow legs with the amount I ate and the weight that never came with it. I didn’t look unhealthy.. at least I don’t think I did. I just looked like a regular 14 year old girl. I thought I behaved like one too.. I was a moody teenager (but far more tolerable than my younger sister, my parents later realised), I had  tantrums and loads of energy that would burn out as soon as I actually used it. So when I got back from this run/walk mum was concerned regardless of my efforts and took me to a doctor. The local GP diagnosed me with asthma and I was put on a puffer for a year or so.

My brother had asthma and our symptoms were quite different. Mum wasn’t convinced that it really was the issue when endurance in exercise didn’t improve (thank god!) so eventually we found a good pediatrician. The pediatrician could immediately see that I had a large goiter (thyroid) and bulging eyes indicative of a thyroid condition, Graves disease. Finally we had answers, I wasn’t ���just a teenager’. I was placed on ‘carbemazole’ to subdue the thyroid activity.

Graves disease or hyperthyroidism is an overactive thyroid and occurs if the thyroid gland produces too much thyroid hormone, causing every function in the body to speed up. Symptoms include:

Weight Loss/Increased Appetite

Loose Bowel Motions/Diarrhoea

Increased Sweating

Difficulty sleeping

Heart Palpitations

Hand Tremor

Tiredness/Weak Muscles, particularly around the upper arms and thighs

Enlarged thyroid gland

Menstrual Changes/Fertility Problems

Restlessness/Nervousness

Emotional/Irritability

Shortness of Breath

Protruding or Staring Eyes

My pediatrician also recommended we also test for Coeliac disease as the two generally come hand in hand. A coeliac blood test was indicative on Coeliac disease.

Coeliac disease occurs when the immune system reacts abnormally to gluten (a protein found in wheat, rye, barley and oats), causing small bowel damage. The tiny, finger-like projections which line the bowel (villi) become inflamed and flattened. This is referred to as villous atrophy. Villous atrophy reduces the surface area of the bowel available for nutrient absorption, which can lead to various gastrointestinal and malabsorptive symptoms. Symptoms can also be caused by inflammation in other parts of the body. Symptoms include:

gastrointestinal symptoms e.g. diarrhoea, constipation, nausea, vomiting, flatulence, cramping, bloating, abdominal pain, steatorrhea

fatigue, weakness and lethargy

iron deficiency anaemia and/or other vitamin and mineral deficiencies

failure to thrive or delayed puberty in children

weight loss (although some people may gain weight)

bone and joint pains

recurrent mouth ulcers and/or swelling of mouth or tongue

altered mental alertness and irritability

skin rashes such as dermatitis herpetiformis

easy bruising of the skin

A lot of these double up with symptoms on Graves but I like to believe we caught the coeliac early and I didnt experience these. In the end, they are both autoimmune conditions and therefore have similar roots and symptoms.

We were were just about to holiday to America when I was diagnosed so I promised to start a gluten free diet afterward. I ate everything there and savored it.. pretzels, mac and cheese, McDonald’s.. it was great. Post-America, in the world of the mid-late 2000’s I was gluten free before it was cool..  There was no gluten free bread at the supermarket, never mind croissants, pasta or pizza bases. The best I got was a gluten free wrap that tasted exactly like cardboard. So I naturally became a bit more paleo without even trying? Or I definitely turned to rice based alternatives. I’m kind of glad I was diagnosed in that era, the amount of gluten free crap there is now would have had made me nostalgic for gluten based products.. and a lot fatter than I became..

In saying that I wasn’t very strict with my diet. I excused my diet when it came to birthday cakes and the like. I didn’t have coeliac symptoms back then when I poisoned myself so I thought it wasn’t so bad.. damn Rox! My doctor was much more concerned than me. I had two biopsies (camera down the throat) to check on my small intestine and assess the damage. There was none and they were not indicative of coeliac disease. Or was it the other way around? I may have been presumed to have had coeliac disease but blood tests were inconclusive while biopsies indicated the diseases presence..

Anyway, thyroid levels were the main concern for a long time. Ultimately, Graves is supposed to be put into remission by taking the carbemazole dose down slowly, kind of ‘training’ the thyroid not to be a psycho. When we originally found my Graves I was in danger of ‘thyroid storm’ meaning my thyroid gland had generated so much thyroid hormone and it would dump all of the hormone into my system causing a range of symptoms like shaking, fever, brain fog and extreme moodiness. Getting on top of my thyroid levels took a long time with a few spikes here and there. We were pretty worried as I went into high school because naturally my parents wanted me to do well (and so did I of course). Even when my levels were a bit high I felt I couldn’t concentrate (it’s described as someone always knocking at your brain or ‘brain fog’), I’d get fatigued easily and I’d be downright moody! We (my parents, doctor and I) didn’t want a flare up over exams or study periods, so I think I was put on a higher dose to subdue the thyroid function as much as possible as a precaution, so I actually gained a bit of weight.

I did ok at high school, considering the type of study I did and how much information I could learn and retain with my poo brain.. Once that was over and I was working through my gap year I had time to assess myself. I remember thinking about how much I hated this weight I’d put on and maybe I was hardwired to be skinny. Maybe it was just the way I was supposed to be! Maybe I developed Graves and was predisposed to it because that’s just who I am. Why does everyone have to be ‘normalised’? What is ‘normal’? So I started taking less of my carbemazole against the order of my doctor, in hope to let my thyroid do its funky thing and make me thin again. It definitely did some funky things..

After year 12 my boyfriend at the time was living in Darwin while his family worked in Cambodia in the Australian Federal Police. I didn’t like his living arrangements with a family friend of theirs (it was a dirty house with a bogan mum and autistic kid) so I managed to persuade my parents to let him move in with us (still don’t know how I managed to do that). Anyway.. one day I decided to be a complete mess because I was feeling so angsty and frustrated about myself, work and life at that point in time. I drank a bunch of vodka and laid in the kitchenette listening to music really loud. I remember him coming in, I made an argument about something stupid and then proceeded to wail on the floor, crying my eyes out and literally taring my dress up. Yeah, real top quality thyroxy moment! Poor Tim, hanging out with a hyperactive thyroid everyday. His efforts to calm me down were useless and he just had to leave while I sat it out. So angsty teen attention seeking plus hyperthyroid was a recipe for disaster. But I was coming out of my teens by this point? Why weren’t my levels settling down when I backed off the dose? I was well and truly leaving puberty behind..?