#and i think its kinda insulting how hes treated in both timelines

[adrunkgiraffe]

I have been through this journey before, so I get to be actually frustrated about it.

IUnder a read more because im not subjecting y’all to this. Also: I should caveat I haven’t watched the episode cause I’m waiting till its on Netflix but I have watched way too many other episodes of Supernatural so I have a right to say these things. 

TL;DR: I mean you all knew Cas’ confession was fucking bullshit and that SPN is...hm. But I’d like to actually express my genuine frustration, for a moment? I’m going to say things you already know, but I have too much knowledge of this show and too much stupid meta in my brain about a series I haven’t genuinely enjoyed for at least 5 years which makes this not just blandly bad but disgustingly insulting to me not even as a gay just as like. A writer?

Or, even shorter: Cas’ confession is just a Charlie Bradbury Speedrun 

So. As some of you may know if, for some reason, you followed me back in 2013 (and till...okay fine 2015), I used to be, uh. Really into SPN. Really, I was into Destiel. Like, as in, I slogged through seasons 1-3 to get to Cas and am also really vulnerable to the Sunk Cost Fallacy and projecting onto characters. (I was in 8th grade in 2013, okay? Get off my back)

Also, because I monopolised use of the TV, I kind of...also got my parents into it? In a “this is silly but fun” kind of way.

Over time, critiques of the show from viewers, learning what queerbaiting is at all, fatigue with how long it was going, and also fatigue from how characters I enjoyed, like Rufus, or Crowley, or Ellen, or Jo, or Kevin, or Charlie, or Cas a few times, kept getting killed off. As time went on, it didn’t escape my notice that, aside from Cas, all of these characters fit one or more of the following criteria:

They were a woman

They were a person of color

Were Queer or Queer-coded in some way (listen Crowley was bad rep but at least Mark Sheppard actually kissed a man on screen)

I also just...generally got tired of the way the show treats women and sidelines people of color. 

The final straw really came with Charlie’s death. It got us all excited, because she hadn’t been back in a bit! And it was interesting to see how reuniting with her dark side from Oz had changed her! (yeah remember the fucking Wizard of Oz storyline? The writers sure don’t!) And maybe she’d get developed! Because at this point, Charlie and the fairly good writing of her character was a major upside for the series! Charlie was cool, fun, gay, and morally complex in a way...none of the female characters had been before her, in large part because by definition, her relationship with the boys would always be platonic.

And then. Offscreen. She is violently murdered. For no damn good reason. Like, literally, her being brought back in this episode after fucking off to europe after having returned from fucking off to Oz seems to have filled two purposes in total. 

The codex is solved (but Sam doesn’t know till next episode)

Charlie is dead, which means Dean can be angry, specifically at Sam, and kill more people because he’s the big bad this season. 

That’s it. Two things. Twooooo whole reasons to do this episode. Whoopee. 

But you didn’t come here for this, you came here for me to rip this reveal to shreds. Don’t worry, I’ll get there. What I want in your minds is that Supernatural already had a really good anddynamic queer character. And then they killed her off to make Dean angry. No, it doesn’t matter that they brought her back in season 13 or whatever. They made that decision. 

After the rage this incited, I started realizing general flaws in the writing (I had probably already noticed them but now I was angry enough to complain.) Every conflict is born of Sam and Dean not communicating/taking on burdens and Dean being angry at Cas for reasons that ranged from good to ridiculous, but in a way that always went way too fucking long, (which...yes, does make the “you do it for love” gifs fucking hilarious). It didn’t help that seasons 11 and 12 were next, which meant Demon Dean and GOD’S FUCKING SISTER, plus the decision to resurrect Mary, which, while I do like her later scenes, as a season 12 finale it...well I’ll be honest it kinda sucked. It undercut the majority of the Winchester’s’ arcs and their slow and painful journey out of their father’s toxic vengeance quest and knowing Mary as a person when it’s too late to know her was one of the last semi-compelling grounders of the narrative. 

By this point it was a hate-watch for my parents and I.

So then, I’m at college, and I’m not watching anymore cause I don’t have the motivation or access to Hulu to continue, and SPN is bad. I watch the Scooby Doo crossover when it comes out and my friend and I make fun of it, and we also continue making jokes about Dean and Cas and queerbaiting because we’re queer, but I don’t keep up. My Dad does though, so when I return, I watch some with the fam and lads. It’s even more tiring without context. 

So flash forward to Quarantine, my sister, the only one with taste, has left, and we have run out of netflix to watch. So we return to the well, and seasons 13-14 are. I’m gonna say it. Bad. Really fucking bad. The cycle of bad communication continues, season 14 has like seven antagonists and the way it’s structured makes it so I literally cannot remember the timeline of a season I watched 3 months ago. Oh also, they have a queer coded cannibal snake monster for...well I guess Jack’s snake bud was cool but like. Huh wow it’s almost like these writers don’t handle queers well. 

Our one saving grace is Cas, but he’s barely in any episodes, though I did note that his deal with the empty, being happy completely for one moment killing him, that struck me as “this has potential and I know they’re gonna half-ass it somehow.” Also Jack and Mary, but then oh...plot….The most compelling it gets is literally the finale.

But then, 3 days later, the first half of season 15 comes out on Netflix and it’s...actually kind of acceptable. The new character they give Jack’s actor is fun to watch him play until they make him evil. Exploring just how toxic Chuck can be gave the series direction again. The alternate future was genuinely scarring, and Eileen’s return was genuinely moving. Most of all, though, Cas got the opportunity to tell Dean no, that Dean was being unfair to him, had always been unfair to him, and he was sick of it. I had no illusions, I knew Destiel was never gonna happen, and Cas was gonna die, but giving him that bit of agency, letting Cas grow and be self-sufficient, and be angry with Dean not for existential reasons but interpersonal ones, was such a good sign for me, and Dean grew too! Dean fucking apologized for being horrible and Jensen Ackles had a...yknow what, ill give it to him, he had a good acting moment. 

But the thing. About. The “I love you.” 

Let’s take it in parts.

What was good: I’m gonna admit it, lads, “Wanting what I can’t have” - AS A LINE - is good, and, structurally, there is something to the Empty Deal that could have been an interesting aspect of Cas’ arc when it comes to self actualization and being on even footing with Dean. The problem is, this is Supernatural, and that arc only comes up when I bring it up because character study, even in bad media, is fun for me. 

What was bad:

I mean. Like. All of it? All of it. 

Okay. Fine. I’ll be specific. 

Cas dies immediately when - possibly because- he is revealed as having feelings for Dean. They kill him as they queer him, that’s a Bury Your Gays Speedrun right there.

Like the least they could have done is have him mention it to someone in another scene or something to establish some romantic feelings on the part of canon a full episode beforehand. That would have been the literal bare minimum. 

When Cas starts praising Dean, for some reason both the writing and Misha’s acting take a bit of a downswing (from...where it already was). Cas, whose most powerful moment this season was acknowledging that Dean’s anger at him is cruel and unfair, flatly praises him for doing everything out of love and it reads with a misunderstanding of both Dean as a character and Cas’ understanding of Dean. Dean is angry! VERY ANGRY! And it’s a problem he needs to work on and rarely does. 

Talking out of my ass, a better speech would have been about how Dean is angry because of his love for Sam, family, and the people around him, how, for better or for worse, he can’t help but be angry on behalf of others, and that his journey of moving that tendency towards the better is what made Cas care so much. Guys this alteration to the metaphor took 2 minutes to write tops I am an Art History student and these are TV WRITERS WITH YEARS OF EXPERIENCE CAN YOU TELL THEYRE NOT TRYING YET? 

A better speech would, of course, have come out of a better series. My point: this part was half-assed. Poorly written. Wow it’s almost like the series is also poorly written. 

 Also, Misha is the better actor of the three(***OF THE THREE), but his choices in that scene are jarringly out of character which. Makes the bad writing worse. It doesn’t help that they cut to the same fucking shot of Dean 3 times. The chemistry in that scene makes it feel so fucking hackneyed. Because it is. 

This combines lead me to the point: (wait there was a point to this?)

As someone who does not have the luxury of watching this capsized ship fall into boiling seas from a distance, it is less insulting to me that they did this so last minute and then sent Cas to the Void than it is how they did it. They had ingredients for something that could have been compelling enough to me as a former fan of the show to think that they had put effort into it, that they had decided months, perhaps even years ago to do this, and had crafted a storyline around it. That this was an intentional decision they cared about. It wasn’t. It was barely even pandering, because it’s almost insultingly blatant. 

SPN kinda proved to me that it didn’t care about queers when Charlie was killed off. It proved it to me again when Cas, not only died in confessing his love for Dean but did it in the weakest result of what could have been a surprisingly strong story.

[extreme-technicality]

does talking to an anon help about ninjago help? cuz I'm down

DHDKCKGSC YES IT DOES THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR OFFERING YOUR SERVICES

Okay now that I know I won’t be clogging people’s dashes buckle the fuck in my dude and I should stress that I literally would not be talking about this as much as I will be if I didn’t genuinely enjoy the show. I’m gonna go season by season and just Rant

S1 has the serpentine as the bbeg and like, as far as villains go they’re p lit. They’re early enough that they haven’t been done to hell, things are fresh, the characters and dynamics are being fleshed out, and all in all s1 is a pretty solid season. There’s some fuckery that gets brought up re: how the FUCK aging works and what the actual timeline of Ninjago is and how Wu and Garmadon fit into that timeline, fuckery that LITERALLY NEVER GETS RESOLVED IN A SATISFYING WAY BC ITS REVEALED IN A LATER SEASON (s8, dw we’ll get there lmao) THAT THE ONLY REASON THE FIRST SPINJITSU MASTER, WU, AND GARMADON LIVED AS LONG AS THEY DID IS CUZ THEYRE BASICALLY DEMIGODS AND ITS IMPLIED THAT LLOYD WILL ALSO LIVE FOR A LONG ASS TIME WHICH MEANS ONE DAY HES GONNA OUTLIVE ALL HIS FRIENDS AND EVERYONE HE EVER LOVED WHICH IS A FUN THING TO THINK ABOUT AT NIGHT But anyway I digress, s1 also coincidentally introduces Lloyd (he wasn’t in the pilot episodes that set up the rest of the series) and the existence of Evil Dad Garmadon.

S2 is where Garmadon starts acting a lot more Evil and a lot less Dad. He’s the main antagonist for that season, and I actually read somewhere that the show was originally slated to end after s2 which high key explains the fuckery of literally every single season after this lmaooooo. Much like s1, I really can’t find much to complain about, the first two seasons are pretty decent as far as I can remember

Season. Fucking. Three. Where the fuck do I start??? I hate season three for entirely personal reasons revolving around the STUPID GODDAMN ROMANCE WRITING. okay lemme back up and explain a thing first so, Jay is dating Nya and they’re fine, they’re going steady, aND THEN????? THE BEGINNING OF THE SEASON INTRODUCES BULLSHIT LOVE TRIANGLE FUCKERY FOR ZERO GODDAMN REASON, BITCH I HATE LOVE TRIANGLES AND I HATE THEM EVEN MORE WHEN THEYRE DONE FOR NO GODDAMN REASON!!! AND THEN. AS IF THAT WERENT ENOUGH. THEY SHOEHORNED A ROBOT ROMANCE BETWEEN ZANE AND PIXAL AND I KNOW I RANTED ABOUT THIS A LITTLE BIT WHEN I WAS ACTUALLY WATCHING BUT I DIDNT GO INTO ENOUGH DETAIL!!!! THEY MADE THE OTHER NINJA OOC IN ORDER TO PROP UP THEIR SHIP!!!!!! AND AT ONE POINT ZANE GOES “its like we were…made for each other” AND I HAD TO FUCUCJDHVE I HAD TO SCREAM INTO A PILLOW BRO, IM SO TIRED!!!! NO THE FUCK YOU WERENT!!!!!! YOU WERE MADE FOR YOU AND PIXAL WAS MADE FOR PIXAL AND IF YALLS WANNA BANG BOLTS THATS FINE BUT DONT IMPLY THAT EITHER OF YOU WERE MADE INCOMPLETE!!!! THATS AN INSULT TO YOUR MAKERS AND YOURSELVES, MOVE ON, PLEASE AND THANK YOU. anyway that season also killed Zane (for the first time, but not the last) (spoiler alert lmao) and like, not to be an emotional little shit but I did cry a bit at his funeral.

S4 is honestly one of my favorites, even though the romance crimes continue (the love triangle bullshit is continuing and honestly I maintain that Cole, Nya, and Jay should all have gotten together and in my personal canon they DID, and also Kai has a forced romance) the VILLAIN makes up for it imo. He’s campy!! He’s funny!! He’s a clown!! He’s serious enough that if he says “I’m gonna kill you” HE MEANS IT and that’s so fucking refreshing!!!! S4 is honestly 8/10 just for the villain alone, don’t like that it retconned the SHIT out of the elemental masters and how many different elements there are TO master but eh, it’s ninjago, shit is stupid.

S5 was…interesting? OH WAIT I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT S3 INTRODUCED A GARMADON WHO WAS A LOT LESS EVIL AND A LOT MORE DAD, HONESTLY I THOUGHT IT TOOK A LOT OF THE FLAVOR OUT BUT THATS JUST ME LMAOOO. anyway s5 killed Garmadon, and I was a little sad cuz I like him okay??? I just think he’s NEAT, he’s got big dad energy, he was teaching Lloyd some shit that just got DROPPED and literally was never brought up again which is honestly a theme in Ninjago. Ninjago drinking game: take a shot every time they introduce a plot point or ability and drop it at or before the end of the season. WHICH THEY ALSO DID IN S5 WITH A DIFFERENT POWER ACTUALLY, so all the ninja are masters of Spinjitsu right, well s5 introduced the concept of Airjitsu which only Spinjitsu masters can learn and it lets them FLY and they used that for seasons 5 and 6 and then they nEVER BROUGHT IT UP AGAIN EVEN THOUGH IT WOULDVE COME IN HANDY FOR S E V E R A L DIFFERENT SITUATIONS ACROSS THE SEASONS, ONE OF THEM WOULD BE FALLING TO THEIR DOOM AND MY ASS WOULD BE YELLING “YOU CAN FLY, DUMBASS” - anyway, they do that again later lmao it’s fine. But what’s low key NOT fine is they made Nya the WATER NINJA!!! Like I’m not mad she has powers, except I kinda am, she was doing just fine as Samurai X and honestly the only reason she has super special ninja powers is for plot reasons. Also Cole got turned into a ghost, but by s7 he’s????? No longer a ghost????????? And that’s NEVER addressed or reasoned away, so like. Cool lmao

S6 didn’t happen. Like, canonically, s6 ends with wish fuckery that undoes the entire season and none of the characters remember anything that happened except Jay and Nya because S6 is the season where they get back together so they remember all those events for???? Feelings reasons?????? Unclear, moving on. The actual bbeg for S6 was a djinn with a vaguely Spanish accent, and to this DAY I don’t know why they made him have a SPANISH accent. Djinn are Arabic, not Spanish!! They’re not central or South American, either!!!! Your villain design makes no sense, do better

S7 had MORE time fuckery, and retconned what happened to Kai and Nya’s parents and hmmmhmhmhmhmhm that makes me Upsetti Spaghetti :3 not just the retconning, but the fact that they LITERALLY brought them back oNLY TO NEVER MENTION THEM AGAIN!!!!!! LITERALLY!!!!!!!! Okay so at the VERY very beginning, like pilot episodes beginning, Kai talks about their dad like he died/left fairly recently, BUT s7 contradicts that and claims that both of their parents were essentially abducted when Kai and Nya were little kids, which makes me question what in the fresh fuck two little kids were doing for all those years alone. SETTING THAT ASIDE FOR A HOT SECOND, their parents were also apparently good friends of Wu’s and old war buddies (from the Serpentine wars, which is YET ANOTHER bit of the timeline that doesn’t quite add up but honestly I could make a whole other post about that shit). But if they were such good fucking friends, why didn’t Wu check in every now and again??? What the fuck was Wu doing that was so fucking important that he couldn’t have been assed to visit his friends ONCE in like TEN MOTHERFUCKING YEARS and realize “oh shit, they’re not here and there are two tiny children running around unsupervised…My Kids Now : )” LIKE????? WU YOU LOW KEY SHOULDA LOOKED OUT FOR YOUR FRIENDS’ KIDS BETTER, THEY COULDA DIED BRO!!! Uhhhh the time fuckery also results in Wu getting yeeted ahead in time a bit and the ninja gotta find him

Season. Eight. I have…mixed feelings about this one. The beginning absolutely SLAUGHTERED me, and not in a “this is so fucking funny” way. No, the beginning made me feel like I was being flayed alive with just about every episode because Ninjago was back on its forced romance bullshit and this time it was Lloyd’s turn on the chopping block. That hurt my soul cuz like, look at that mans color scheme, he’s CLEARLY alloaro, why are you forcing romance on my aro man, why would you hurt me like that, BUT ALSO BECAUSE HE AND THE GIRL HE WAS BEING SET UP WITH HAD A LITTLE HEART TO HEART REALLY EARLY ON AND IT WAS THE MOST QUEER CODED SHIT!!!! IT DEADASS READ AS A CONVERSATION BETWEEN AN OUT AND PROUD QUEER AND A CLOSETED QUEER AND THEY MADE!!! IT!!!!! STRAIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!! The only thing that kept me watching at first was wanting to find Wu, and then I started enjoying myself once Cole found a plot-relevant baby and had fatherhood thrust upon him. Everything went from “ehhhhh” to “holy shit this FUCKS” once it was revealed that Rumi (Lloyd’s love interest) wAS PLAYING HIM THE WHOLE TIME AND WAS EVIL AND HAD AN EVIL GIRLFRIEND!!!!!! LITERALLY IMPROVED EVERYTHING ABOUT THE SEASON FOR ME, I COULD EVEN FORGIVE THE WHOLE “let’s resurrect Garmadon, but as evil as possible” BULLSHIT!!!!!!

S9 is a continuation of s8, Garmadon is back and 1000% Evil, 10% Dad, but none of the Dad energies is directed at Lloyd - it’s all directed at Rumi, and honestly I could write a whole ass post on just RUMI cuz that’s honestly my DAUGHTER and I LOVE HER and I’m MAD SHE DIES AT THE END OF THIS SEASON!!!! SHE DESERVED THERAPY AND TO LIVE WITH HER GF AND MAYBE SOME CRIME. AS A TREAT. RUMI DESERVED BETTER AND LOW KEY IM GONNA WRITE A FIC ABOUT IT, BUT ANYWAY WHERE WAS I

Ah right, so s9 has the four major Ninja stuck in the original dimension with no way home, while Lloyd has no powers (cuz he almost died last season) and has to somehow lead a resistance against Garmadon (who has taken control of Ninjago City and is working on the rest of Ninjago). Actually, s9 is pretty cool. Like, the end of s8 and into s9 are low key my favorite episodes, and I kinda wanna rewatch them now -

S10 is a FUN one. Garmadon got got last season, but he didn’t DIE, so he’s in cold storage and now there’s Another Threat and he’s the only one who knows wtf they’re up against so they let him out and he works with them. The funny part is, he is still Very Much Evil and doesn’t quite Get emotions like he did when he was, uh, human lmao, sO HE WOKE UP EVERY DAY DURING THAT SEASON AND DECIDED TO CAUSE PROBLEMS ON PURPOSE. IT WAS THE FUNNIEST FUCKING SHIT. 1000000/10 MY FAVORITE GARMADON, he ended that season by literally fucking off into Ninjago and they never decided to track him down 😭😭😭😭😭and I’m so SAD about it dude

S11 has another Serpentine as the bbeg, though in the setup to that they retconned how the fucking Serpentine tribes and history work??? I think???? Also Wu was a good 150% angrier and generally Done with the ninja’s shit, which was honestly refreshing tho I’m not quite sure I liked what the refreshed view was, but whatever lmao. S11 also had the ninja get yeeted to the dimension farthest from Ninjago, and honestly - okay, so they didn’t all go at the same TIME, Zane left about a week or two before the others did but there was time dilation fuckery afoot which I’m not too mad about cuz low key it makes sense. What I AM mad about is that they didn’t play the angst up to its full POTENTIAL!!!!!! Zane was EVIL in the other dimension!!!! Okay so I’m Ninjago he was only gone for maybe a week or two, but DECADES had passed in the other one, and all that time Zane was alone and disconnected from everyone he knew and loved, with a staff that boosted his power while slowly corrupting him and Turning Him Evil to help him, and like???? The thought of Zane trying to find a way home, trying to get SOME sort of message back, while he has to use the staff more and more to help him survive the long, lonely decades, so that by the time his family DOES show up its too late??? BRO. B R O. THAT JUST HITS DIFFERENT, BUT NINJAGO DIDNT DO THAT!!! THEY MADE HIM EVIL DUE TO MEMORY WIPE!!!!!! MEMORY WIPE IS BABY SHIT COMPARED TO A LONG, SLOW CORRUPTION!!!!!!

S12 was alright. It went into Cole’s mom, touched on some of the adventures she had had, threatened another forced romance (this time on poor Cole, just leave my mans ALONE) but thankfully didn’t follow through this time, introduced cool new powers that honestly hasn’t been elaborated on since that’s the most recent season I think lmao

Anyway thanks for reading and letting me rant!!!! I have,,So Much More I could talk about, PLEASE ask me about Rumi, some of my headcanons re: Garmadon and Wu’s dynamic, the Serpentine, my top five times they butchered Kai’s character for Plot Reasons, or anything else I brought up here that you want me to elaborate on!!!

[sweetescapeartist]

Since there is barely anybody that looks at this blog now, imma say some things now that I'll reveal later on Twitter (maybe). Also this is gonna be a long read so you can read if you wanna or not. Its kinda a rant.

I started this blog because I liked Dragon Ball and wanted to share my ideas and things I liked with other fans. I enjoyed that. Krillin is my favorite character so I wanted to show him some love & maybe get more ppl to like him. Then eventually I started drawing nsfw art.

I began doing so because there's a great lack of Krillin positive nsfw art. Eventually on my Twitter, I gathered a following that like to see Krillin getting some love. I also went from sfw with my OC Tobi to drawing nsfw. The problem I have with both is that I don't have time as much to draw what is like to. Nor do I care as much for nsfw art.

So this is what I'm trying to say. I have other things I want to do. I draw for free and accept some requests. I'm not getting paid and I feel like I'm wasting my time somewhat. The positive is that more ppl have come to like Krillin and hopefully more will later. There aren't a lot of nsfw artist that promote Krillin. Its all about Saiyans and I understand why. I like Saiyans too. But its always at the expense of human characters that I like especially Krillin.

"Vegeta got beat up by 18 so he deserves to dick her down"

"18 should be with anyone else but Krillin. She should be with a Saiyan."

I'm seriously tired of it, ya know? Its just such negativity. I've tried to combat it with positivity and that does work but that's not what most ppl seem to care about or see. Krillin means a lot to many of us. Yes, we know he's a fictional character but he's someone we can latch on to and see ourselves in. How he constantly tries hard and doesnt give up despite having low self-esteem. He is very relatable and an encouraging character. So understand that it frustrates me and others when ppl keep making fun of a character we love just because of memes that are very innacurate, he's short, he's married to what most of the fandom consider the most attractive female in the series (so they're jealous of him to an extent), or when ppl downright degrade his character.

Why? Why treat a positive character so negatively? Ppl make fun of Krillin because he has PTSD but won't make fun of Future Trunks. They trash his marriage and make it seem as if 18 doesn't care for him because he has the most stable marriage in the series. They call his daughter an ugly troll but want to see her in hentai with some Saiyan. Such hypocrisy. That's why I've drawn some of the things I have.

There are drawings I've done that I haven't posted because they are so disrespectful to characters like Vegeta or Gohan. And I love Gohan so that's a reason why I never posted them. I'm a positive person but it seems many ppl only respond to negative. So here's what I've done/plan to do.

I have some comics planned to draw along with some pictures. The pictures vary on what they will be, but the comics... Here's what they are.

I will be making NTR comics starring Krillin but he is the main character. There are too many of him being portrayed as a wimp or punk that lets everybody get with 18 besides himself. Or its done behind his back. So I'm going to have Krillin taking other character's ladies from them. Yeah its negative in a way but also positive for Krillin. Maybe this can get the point across to ppl? Idk.

But I will make a comic where Krillin gets Videl, Bulma, & Chichi. I will make others where he gets into "situations" with characters like Kale & Caulifla, Cheelai, & others. I also plan to make a comic about Roshi basically being cucked by Krillin (you'll have to wait and see to understand that one). So that's what I have planned. Hentai comics with Krillin as the lead. Its unpopular and that is why I do it.

I'll make other more positive comics too. Like a comic about Krillin getting advice then marrying 18. Ill draw stories with my OC Tobi as he lives with Krillin and his family & dates Marron. It will focus on the Chestnut family and have father/son moments with Krillin & Tobi. And ill introduce other characters too.

But here's the big thing that contradicts everything I said prior. I don't want to draw DB anymore. The fan base has kinda wore me out but so has the direction the series has gone. In bored of the writing for DBS and it being solely about Goku & Vegeta when there are other characters like Gohan & Piccolo. Its a fighting anime so why would we only want to see 2 characters? God ki was introduced so that's an easy way for everyone to get stronger and involved. But its too corporate now and lazy. And the DBS manga... so terrible. Toyotaro is a much better artist than I am and not to talk bad about him but I think DragonGarowLee is much better for the position that Toyo. DGL knows how to choreograph fights better and understands Toriyama's comedy better. Toyo doesn't know how to write the characters. He makes Goku an uncaring idiot, makes Vegeta a poorly written Goku clone, makes fun of Krillin for no reason except he doesn't like him (seriously! He has called him ugly, weak, scared, useless, & had ppl like Goku and Roshi insult Krillin. Wtf?!), he doesnt know how to create a unique character without ripping off a character Tori has done much better. And the fanboys (& girls)

Gosh! The Vegeta fans are great but they can be crazy sometimes. They ignore all the evil Vegeta has done and ignore his flaws as if he's a perfect angel. Vegeta's flaws is what makes him such an interesting character! And him being different than Goku is a good thing. But there's a weird and false understanding of his character. "Vegeta is a better dad than Goku" sure. Vegeta just knocked up Bulma then left her as. Single mother and didn't care if she or his infant son died, never hugged his son until he was 10+ yrs old & didn't love Bulma until sometime during the 7 yr time skip. He was a terrible person in a terrible relationship! THEN he became a better person and actually loving to his family. That change is what make Vegeta great. Not his power level or how many kills he has or "cool moments."

That same twisted misunderstanding of Vegeta is similar to the misunderstanding of Krillin. Ppl think he's weak and a coward. But he fights aliens & beings stronger than him and even injures stronger opponents. He smiles in the face of danger and even gets excited during fights but is smart enough not to risk others lives. Krillin nearly killed Nappa, he would've finished Vegeta with the Spirit Bomb if Yajirobe didn't alert Vegeta that Krillin was attacking him, smart enough not to fight on Namek when they're outnumbered, took on aliens stronger than him, outsmarted them & escaped, protected both Gohan & Bulma, more skilled than Ginyu when he was in Goku's body, sacrificed his safety for others like Dende & Gohan, (for real tho, Vegeta didn't see 2nd form Freeza move but Krillin was fast enough to throw Dende out of the way and sacrifice his life. Krillin saw Freeza attacking and Vegeta who is supposed to be stronger did not see Freeza move!), he was the first person to actually damage Freeza and then taunted the Emperor of the Universe, he's always there for his friends, knew better than everybody else that if the androids defeated Vegeta & Trunks then he shouldn't get involved. He saved 18 who was innocent in this timeline, helped 16, wished for the bombs out of 17 & 18 so they could live normally. Then fast forward to DBS he fought to protect his family & planet & 18 calls him "cool", he conquers his PTSD and gained new power he always had but laid dormant, he defeated someone who actually hurt 18. & there are things he's done I didn't even mention.

And ppl constantly saying Goku is a bad dad. He's waaaaaaaay better of a father compared to Vegeta if were being honest.

I guess I've seen a lot of the negative side of the fandom and its disappointing. So I'm at a point where I kinda don't care. I'll make my comics but after I'm done with what I have planned, I'm just done with DB. I won't stop drawing entirely but I won't draw any requests unless I feel like it, I won't keep up with much DB news and content. I just want to come back to Tumblr, draw Krillin fanart, draw Tobi, write some rewrites, draw Tobi's story & that's it. Ill be a part of Chestnut Fest every year tho. That is one of the greatest things to come out of my time on Tumblr & Twitter. So big thanks to @chestnutisland!

But basically I'm tired of the fandom and I still enjoy parts of it but I want to do my own thing. So I'll partially be a part of the DB fandom but not in it too deep. Look forward to what I have in store. If some of my future content isn't to your liking, hopefully you ccan find something else I've done that you'll enjoy. But its still been fun & I've enjoyed the ppl I've talked too & friends I've made.

[nautilusopus]

Serious non-troll: What if you like the cop-outs and the scrambled bullshit plots and the nonsense towers of half-constructed ideas? I agree that for example Nomura is a goddamn crazy person but I find his convulsions fascinating and want to see more of them.

i mean, you’re entirely within your rights to do that. it’s just frustrating that there’s visibly no effort put into any of it, and he’s just writing for the sake of what makes the trailer look good, and that’s been 100% to the detriment of the story ever since he’s started doing it

i’m not even inherently opposed to ridiculous convoluted bullshit. i’m one of those pretentious fuckheads that unironically likes End of Evangelion and thinks it made perfect sense, obviously, duh, with all its absolute nonsense of adam and lilith and rei being a god-analogue from absorbing both the white and black seeds and allowing shinji to dictate the ultimate outcome of third impact in the culmination of a couple of really fucking long and extremely obtuse character arcs. i mean, hell, i’m 38 chapters into a fic that is running off nothing but weird high-concept ideas of how reality and parallel universes work and abstract metaphor andsleep deprivation. in any other circumstances, i’m fine with convoluted batshit nonsense.

i think the best way to explain the heart of the issue is to look at what happened to the matrix trilogy. or actually wait this is tumblr, everyone’s in high school and would’ve been foetuses or something when Revolutions came out. homestuck, then. we’ll look at homestuck. 

okay so homestuck. remember when that was as big as it was? initially, the big stumbling block was the slow pace of act 1 where john just kind of fucks around throwing glass at clown dolls for a while and if you weren’t into that kind of humour that was where the comic immediately lost you, but what ultimately got the ball rolling was [S] WV: Ascend. the general metric back then was if you weren’t hooked by that one, you wouldn’t like homestuck at all, and for many people that was the point of no return. the reason WV: Ascend was as big of a deal as it was is that we’ve been seeing a bunch of disconnected nonsense happening all over the place, and this is the first time we see our first major time loop actually closed, with the promise of a few more being set up. all that supposed joke nonsense we’d been watching the whole time? it actually mattered, surprise! from there, the narrative spends a lot of time introducing a lot of new concepts – we have captchaloguing and paradox slime, and time travel, and doomed timelines, and exiles and future versions of planets from a parallel universe the metanarrative being perpetuated by the author being diagetic and fuck knows what other things i’m forgetting about. and then, to throw you for a loop twelve whole other characters show up on top of that. so then the narrative needs to spend time establishing who these people are and what their relevance to the story is – which it does, by having them be active participants in the first arc as things go on. this ultimately culminates in [S] Cascade, where we see all these different concepts eventually tie into one another because they were deliberately set up to, and it’s at that point that you figure, well shit we’ve hit a point where all the time travel stuff has finally come to a head. and with it, you’d expect it to also bring all the character stuff to a head too, but instead hussie has an entire extra act to go so we can’t have that resolve yet. 

so in the meantime, here are 20-ish whole other characters doing some other things. but we don’t have time to establish what’s effectively the silmarillion by now, so we have to speed past it, meaning we aren’t given a chance to care about these new people. but we can’t have a chance to care about them either, because we still have to tie all this into 5 whole previous acts that are meant to feed into this. at this point, homestuck is visibly collapsing under its own weight. character arcs are forced to fart around in circles because the status quo can’t change because we still need to make it to endgame with these character dynamics more or less intact. but that’s boring to read so we’ll do this entire “what if” thing and then retcon it all out of existence, and then have the fact that you can retcon things suddenly become vital to the resolution of the coming in place of anything we’ve already established previously – not the time travel, not the parallel universe with the trolls, not even the whole thing with the Scratch leading to the alpha kids being here in the first place – when the mechanic was only introduced in the first place to sloppily patch a story together that had long since devolved into infodumps that served to paint hussie further and further into a corner as he was forced to define his lore to get the plot to keep moving forward despite the fact that the narrative wasn’t focusing properly on the people that could make that happen anymore because the story had since switched focus from those people almost entirely. 

and in the meantime the damn thing got eaten up by filler, and suddenly characters from that filler are showing up like they were totally relevant to the main story the whole time even though literally nothing they did in their own subplot had any direct bearing on the story at large, unlike the initial 12 trolls. why yes, Alternate Universe Calliope was a completely necessary addition to the story! didn’t you see our important sidestory thing where they do Stuff, and then her showing up in the climax to resolve some other things that are sorta disconnected from the main plot anyway?

not to mention the shipping. nothing ruins a story faster than throwing in a love triangle or eight, and then immediately invalidating all the character growth that happened on top of that anyway by having it literally never happen. not that it would’ve mattered anyway, because remember, we never actually got to have any of this really developed to begin with. 

by the time we hit end of act 6, there’s been so many new concepts haphazardly stapled onto the story and so many threads brought up and discarded entirely when we already established back with [S] Cascade that the story works best when they actually do this and it is doable, that it stops being merely complicated and off the wall, and starts being spread too thin, incomprehensible, and ultimately no longer part of a whole narrative deliberately comprised of interlocking storylines. shit’s just kinda happening at you, and rather than getting to see parts of a text interacting as a result of them coming from somewhere for the express purpose of then going to somewhere, you’re just being asked to accept that, yup, that’s a thing that’s going on right now. neato. sure is some stuff happening and whatnot. and in the end, for all that posturing, it didn’t even do anything. in pre-cascade homestuck that wouldn’t have even been a full flash. a bunch of nonsense happens, and then They Fightan Good, and then it’s over and there’s not a single time paradox or meta-interaction to be found. none of the stuff they built up to over all these years mattered, and neither did any of the stuff they just threw in, either. 

i’m sure you see what i’m getting at with this. 

(also he treats the women in his stories like shit and quite frankly i’m sick of it and even more sick that people keep giving him a pass for it because it’s practically reached parody levels at this point , so there’s that)

i have no problem with convoluted twisty bullshit in and of itself. but it has to accomplish something aside from just existing, and nomura doesn’t do that. by his own admission, kingdom hearts wasn’t planned, and it shows really badly. characters and entire story mechanics and plot lines are introduced solely for the sake of introducing them. they don’t go anywhere or build to anything, because they can’t, because fuck we have to stall for kh3 shhhh just keep adding more soras and hopefully no one will notice. i think the last time any of this actually mattered was kh2, and even that had a lot of the issues i’ve mentioned here. as a result of all of this, the character arcs suffer a lot, and you’re left with nothing but a big ball of plot twists that goes nowhere, and a bunch of characters that only somewhat have anything to do with any of it. 

i don’t feel like it’s overly nitpicky to find this kinda gross and seriously insulting of the audience’s intelligence. it’s just lazy time-stalling. i get that people sometimes really don’t care about stuff like narrative and character development and are just here to see riku punching mike wazowski in the teeth or whatever, but i think it’s disingenuous to pretend that these aren’t nonetheless important parts of a game’s construction – especially a studio that used to openly pride itself on selling games with a focus on story. 

and the genuinely frustrating part is, no one cares. people are gushing all over everything square puts out because it’s square, so they know they don’t have to put effort into their stories. i’m well aware i’m in the minority for saying that these games are bad. but i also thought we were done with treating, “it’s just a video game, bro! why do you care so much about the story having quality as a narrative? this isn’t an english class!” as a valid rebuttal. 

maybe i should’ve used the matrix trilogy instead. most people hate movies 2 and 3 for the weird “YOU’VE ALREADY MADE THE CHOICE/EVERYTHING THAT HAS A BEGINNING HAS AN END NEO” shit and the bonkers christ-allegory ending. i hate it because neo is about as interesting as the rock that cracked goofy’s skull open.

[legobatjoker]

omg ok in this like. wasnt what we were talkin abt whne we were talkin abt [FANDOM] earleir but it made me remeber how like wild it was (or is ig im not in this fandom anymore thankfully i wldnt know what ppl r saying GFDG) tht like. ppl wld act like [CHARACTER] was the one who wronged [GIRLBOSS] like . litreally itis so isane 2 me tht like [GIRLBOSS] litreally manipulated [CHARACTER] like sm nd then like say smth tht wld obvs cut so deeply 4 him nd ppl were like "omg [CHARACTER] was so mean 4 making fun on [GIRLBOSS]'s name" like litreally wtf like.i swear tht was the most common take on it too like mayb im remembering wrong but i feel like most ppl either thought tht or tht they were both like. equally in the wrong like i swear i saw ppl be like "ok ik this is an unpopular opinion nd might be kinda controversial and i still think [CHARACTER] shldnt have insulted [GIRLBOSS] but i think [GIRLBOSS] was a bit more in the wrong" nd its j so wild 2 me tht thinking [GIRLBOSS] was more in the wrong while stil thinking [CHARACTER] was in the wrong somewhat was like. controversial (alos like i dont think [CHARACTER] was in the wrong 4 making fun of [GIRLBOSS]s name or like. i was kinda mean but ithink he shld b allowed 2 b after everything tht happened nd also it was funny so !!! GHFDGD)

RIGHT RIGHT remember when i was j repeatedly making posts rexplainjng just how wildly fucked up [CHARACTER]’s timeline of the way ppl treated him was and how he was 100% like? the most morally good of the group?? and he had just been constantly manipulated??? and ppl were still like acting like he was the most major villain lolol …

[semi-imaginary-place]

fe3h blogging 3 because i have no self control

wah. I don’t want to start BL because that would mean leaving Edelgard and Claude. I don’t care about dimirti as much. part 1 dimitri is so earnest though

i think blue lions was written first. 1 the two monthly missions that have to do with students’ families are both in BL (Ashe and Sylvain). I didn’t notice this at first because for some reason I got it into my head that one of them was in the black eagles and so i thought every house would have a “welp and now we kill  your [insert family member]”. 2 two fairly important side characters at the monastery are related to BL students (Annette and Mercedes). Chapter 3 actually provides a intro for all the lords in their respective routes. Edelgard’s scene is serious but not especially sad, instead you can feel te fire burning within Edlegard and the scene shows how she’s willing to sacrifice the lives of those under her if she believes she is doing the right thing. Claude’s is actually quite light hearted in tone after the first few lines and it highlights the mystery surrounding him and makes him seem very sketchy. Chapter 3 in Blue Lions though is really sad. Ashe my baby boy. Here there is a sense of tragedy in the post battle scene.

My opinion of Gillbert slowly plummets as my opinion of Annette continues to rise. I mean absentee emotionally distant father? He doesn’t deserve Annette and her mom. Ok during Dimitri and Annettes C support about how being siblings would be nice, I’m like ummmmm you two are less than half a year apart. Annette is just small not young. its actually off putting to see Sylvain act like a decent person in Dedue’s supports. Underneath all that philandering and shitting on women, he’s actually a good dude and pretty smart, but wow I want to hit him sometimes. wow Felix is actually nice* to Annette. *well nicer anyways. He’s not mean to her. the “fight” Annette and Mercedes have in their B support is so stupid and now I need to get to the timeskip for it to resolve? wow.

I think Dedue like trauma latched (is that a thing???? I should go look up ptsd sometime) on to Dimitri. Like found the first person that showed a bit of kindness for him and clamped down. He sees himself as a tool of Dimitri, his entire existence is for the sake of another person. He hates Faergus for what it has done to Duscur but instead of helping to enact meaningful resistance against Faergus, he latched on to the first person that didn’t treat Duscur like scum. That’s not rational. Come to think of it everyone in blue lions need therapy like more so than the other houses (who could also use some)

And here I thought Sylvain was the one with self-worth problems, turns out Dimitri’s a part of the gang too. Its like he can’t see any good parts of himself. He is very earnest and straightforward. Also “you didn’t appear to be suppressing you emotions” huh really. not a topic you’re familiar with yourself Dimitri? Can’t remember if I’ve said this or not but why is Dimitri the only one to have a modified armored uniform.

Edelgard: tower, fortune, emperor. Linhardt: hermit. Mercedes: high priestess, strength. Ashe: star. Dimitri: moon, justice, devil?. Claude: sun, hermit?. Seteth: hierophant. Felix: chariot, emperor. Lysithea: magician. Flayn: lovers, priestess. Manuela: empress. Marianne: fortune, priestess, sun? death?. Ingrid: Emperor?. Bernadetta: hermit, moon. Dorothea: lovers, empress. Ignatz: hanged man. Caspar: justice, chariot

Ashe is such a good boy TT^TT

I always thought it hilarious that Lonato got Catherine’s name wrong, but no there was more to it than that.

Also I don’t get why Annette or her mom couldn’t just go to Garreg Mach. She didn’t need an excuse to visit a place, its not like you need a visa to enter. The school of sorcery and then officers academy sounds like such a roundabout way of doing things

I wonder what name Claude ascends the throne under. He likely only took up the name von Riegan upon entering Fodlan and probably used his father's family name before that. I wonder if Claude has an Almyran given name. If he tried to claim the throne under the name Claude von Riegan it’d kinda be an insult like spitting in the face of his people and that wouldn't gain him any favor in Almyra. But would he go under a fully Almyran name? He would be a more popular king showing himself as one of the people. However, I imagine that he'd keep the name Claude. Maybe he grew up with his parents calling him that maybe its important to him now that he's lived under it for ~7 formative years of his life. Coming to fodlan marked the beginning of claude carrying out his plan's to achieve his dream. Its also a period where he is devoid of his parent's guidance and presence. I'd also just say 16-23 is a pretty important period of identity building in a person's life. Its under the name claude that he finds people he wants to walk down this path with. Its an acknowledgement of both sides of his heritage. I wonder if his choice would be different in a non Verdant Wind route.

What if timelines get mixed up and 23 year old felix gets sent to right before glenn dies.  23 yo felix get teleported to an alternate universe or something and meets 13 yo felix. Felix angsts that glenn seems so young and how he's now older than him, maybe yells at his dad a bit and has a chat with 13yo felix.And then idk gets teleported back? Or worse gets trapped so now there 2 felixes running around and i dont know how thats going to affect the time line

Ashe would make the perfect court asassin. He has enough rank/political clout to get access to targets and its not suspicious if he is in proximity to them.But he's not important enough that anyone would pay attention to him. He's a knight and the lord of castle gaspard at most. He's like a minor lord not a duke or anything. Ashe has enough social and emotional intelligence to navigate social situations. He's easy to get along with and has that harmless sweet boy demeanor to him. He already is good at lock picking, sneaking around, and bows. All he need is some training from Shamir and Claude and Ashe would be unstoppable. The only thing stopping this is that Ashe is a genuine good sweet boy and hates deception. My boy is going to be a knight! 

You know what Dimitri needs? A Raphael. Put the one who cant deal with his own emotions next to the emotionally mature on and maybe Dimitri will finally get the help he needs. They can train together too

Dimitri: Kill them all. Don’t let a single one of them escape. Sever their limbs and crush their wicked skulls.

Me: how about no. Kids, don’t do that.

(later) Dimitri: I will search for survivors

Me: Yeah the ones you didn’t kill

The more I learn about Dimitri’s childhood the more I’m like what the hell is wrong with Faergus??? The lifting rocks makes sense because Dimitri is ridiculous strong, but having a kid run all night in heavy armor, or waking an 11 year old up in the middle of the night and having them catch deer. ????? Also Flayn’s cooking and Dimitri’s taste buds are a good match.  “Look at that young maiden wielding a giant lance. How adorable!” I mean that does sound pretty adorable actually.

Sometimes I think about how the officer’s academy is run as an institution and then I get a headache. The player character students we have number around 25 but you see npcs everywhere around garreg mach and there’s enough of them to fill a ball room. In talking to the students, a lot of them imply this is their first year at garreg mach which would imply that the officer’s academy’s course is 1 year long. This is also supported by the age range of the cast from 15 to 22 with most at 16-17 at the beginning of the year instead of having the younger and less experienced students at a different grade level. With a multigrade system unlikely though, how can we explain the number of students? There are 3 possibilities. First is that the class sizes are huge (conservative estimate is like 60/class, probably more based on cut scene estimates) with full day lecture classes. second is that there are only half day classes with half the students in morning class and the other half in afternoon class. Third is that there are actually more professors than shown.

The Central and Western Churches use the exact same rhetoric as shown in the Ashe-Catherine and Flayn-Seteth paralogues. We are divine and just and you are all heathens and sinners. Goddess this Goddess that. And both of them claim justifications for invasions under this rhetoric. Oh its not that you are politically inconvenient to me its that the Goddess says you are evil and I can’t argue with the Goddess so I have a moral obligation to strike you down. I wonder how many of them are actually delusional religious and how many are just using it as an excuse/cover.

I was thinking star or sun for claude because despite/because of everything he's an idealist. Like the sun guy in p3 akainori??? He take all that pain and tries to make the world a better placeInstead of a picture book though claude tries to revolutionize the worldAhhhhh I love this. theres so many narrative you can pull from these types of thingsDevil is like struggling with vice. Hubert's character arc deals withhis trouble connecting with people, his loyalty to edelgard, and what he has to do. Maybe justice? Rationality, jusgement, and themes of what is justice. Especially his convo with Hanneman that calls into question the execution of his fatherSeteth is probably hierophant as he's that one strict follow the rule book teacher we'vr all had. He also repeRepresents the chuch, authority, and the establishment (initially)Mercedes is a nurturing motherly type person with fits empress well. I take back the priestess statement from earlier. I think mercedes struggles are more external than internal (priestess is like more personal relationshio to spirituality and intuition). Wheel of fortune is an option? ?? Mercedes was born with a crest the her house fell and her step dad only wanted her mom for thr lamine crest. Then the church. then her adoptive dad wanting her for political gain theb the academy. A lot has been outside her control. Byleth is another good option for obvious reasons Edelgard is another good one given what happened in her childhood. If thing had been different she would be living a different life. Emperor could be another good one fore her since its about imposing your will on your surroundings

Dimitri’s stupid. I mean he’s using reasoning, but he’s jumping to conclusions when equally or more probable options are still there. I wouldn’t exactly believe Edelgard’s words either, but its clear Flame Emperor and TWSITD have their own separate agendas. Dimitrii’s  “edelgard is the root of all my sufferings” is like the same reasoning as edelgards “the church and its systems are the root of all suffering in Fodlan” but worse, at least Edelgard is half right.

Its honestly disturbing how willing Dedue is to erasing his autonomy and personhood.

timeskip time~ JP dimitri speech tone is much more calm it makes the dissonance with what he is saying all the weirder. He just making up excuses for his bloodlust now. “they” are “evil” so its ok to slaughter them. also yay monarchists, is gilbert actually relevant in this route???. Fleche and Randolf are actually relevant in this route???? I really hate Faergus. why are all of you following dimitri on his suicide run. why would you let the man clearly not in a good mental place decide the course of the army????

ch14: I mean getting ready to torture someone is one thing. but actually threatening me? You’re on my shitlist dimitri. Boy. You dare threaten me.

Woooowww its like watching a bunch of lemming run off a cliff

Rodrigue gets a bad rap in fandom because its true he’s not a great dad, but I don’t think he’s rock bottom either. He and Felix have different world views and he just has no idea how to deal with Felix. I’d be quite funny if it wasn’t so sad.

Dimitri doesn't have a rational bone in his body

In other news I'm getting kind of annoyed at everyone in azure moon.  Like heyyy maybe monarchy is a bad idea???

I read an interesting thought on why the prologue happened the way it did.  tldr: smear tactic against the church. It'd look bad if bandits even got close to the nation's heirs. And even worse if they got injured or killed. If one of them died, edelgard could get an advantage

hot take: Claude is naive in the same way Griffith is naive

another hot take: Claude is Buddha. or maybe Claude AS Buddha. Specifically the birth prophecy thing of kingdom vs all of time space

oh to clarify its about how Claude wants to change not only Fodlan and Almyra but the whole world. The Buddha thing is that there was a prophecy that he would either be an excellent king or like a spiritual leader whose teachings would echo through time around the world. so I want an AU

me finding out about dorothea's and mercedes backstories: who do I have to kill

Its implied in the hanneman supports that hubert’s dad might have been a part of the insurrection to protect hubert

I was imagining Ferdinand and Sylvain interacting and Sylvain probably hates Ferdie's guts and then in got dark first Ferdinand dislikes nobles that aren't noble so he'd probably disapprove. sylvain would see sheltered ferdinand and want to make him suffer as he has. not to mention Ferdinand ... always looks forward, he's always trying to improve himself and I can see sylvain resenting that and himself. on the flip side both hold the chavalier position in their house, and they both appreciate the fine arts. like ferdinand is out here being an obnoxious good boy championing everything sylvain hates

me looking at all the dudes Mercedes can A support: none of you deserve her. what are you bringing HER in this relationship

the only thing i likea about faerhgus is their flag. which is just so aesthetically pleasing

petra and edelgard are foils for each other.  they are princesses from opposite sides of a past war.  both are dedicated to their nations and seek to become the person their country deserves.  both are very driven.  each was for a period of their life removed from their home country.  but their positions are very different from one another.  edelgard and petra also have a low key friendly rivalry where they motivate each other to strive for more. they should have had an A support

I've been avoiding jeritza because his character concept seems like an edgier dimitri. So I'm just here to say i like his deaign. Partly covered face + long hair? Its like the devs are out for me by pairing that with a personality I don't get along with

Unpopular opinion but ignatz's part 2 haircut is super cute

i know someone here was plotting out a persona 5 cross over, but the more I think of it, dimitri belongs in persona 4.  that game's all about facing the parts of your personality that you don't want anyone else to see.  I mean feral dimitri is basically his shadow, that part of him that he rejects

A supports/total supports Claude: 10/13 Sylvain 4/16 So here's a comparison of how their trust issues affect their relationships. Claude might be incredible closed off and even in his A supports, still be with holding important information, but given enough time he can still potentially bond with a great number of people. While on the other hand Sylvain has destroyed his ability to form meaningful connections with people, so half of his A supports are people he already has a bond with. Sylvain is a bitter resentful boy and its getting in the way of his life. oh those supports are excluding byleths

Sylvain is deliberately stupid which makes him the true idiot here

i've been wondering, does dimitri's super strength randomly activate or is he like that all the time

Dimitri and sylvain. When 1+1=0

Chess club edelgard, hubert, sylvain, claude

Edelgard assumes there will be costs and doesn't try to find a way around it. That sort of glory in being killed is faerghus' thing

I really wish I could expierence the game in its full state. What we have in yhis reality is like a shadow of what it could have been.  I just want cf and vw to be their complete, best selves. Of all the routes, AM was written first and the only one that was completed and reached its full potential. VW and SS feel like half a route with of the other routes patched in to fill the gaps.  all of byleths lines in VW are suspiciously about rhea.  In some of the cutscenes theres graphical errors where the soldiers are wearing chuch colors instead of alliance.  Some parts of VW were clearing written fot SS and shoved in last minute.  Like the Edelgard scene. That scene makes mire sense in SS where byleth was her house leader, but not as much is VW where you barely talk to her. which is a shame because that’s one of my favorites.  Byleth's lines make sense in SS which is about rhea and saving the churcv but not in VW which is about whats really happening and Claude.  The same of course applies to SS, where seteth just says Claude's lines, and its so weird. And yet VW and CF are the strongest conceptually for me (or at least tickle my personal preferences). I also don't think any route should be seen in the absence of the others. Its is all 4 route together that show what the game is about. Focusing in on any one route is an incomplete picture.  Verdant Wind was so good and yet it could have been so much better.  That gap between the potential and the actual both angers and saddens me.  Also VW is the most big picture of all the routes. Instead of diving in, it takes a step back for perspective. You can see the war as a whole instead of just what's happenibg with faergus or adrestia. You see what's actually happening. That its not adrestria vs faregus but  the remnants of an ancient war still affecting modern politics from the dominance of the churcv to the agarthans who gave been stirring up shit for centuries.  Despite all its flaws Verdant Wind is also my favorite. Its not better than the other routes... but its spirit managed to reach my crusty old heart. Its like an ugly puppy. I just see all the places it could be better... (gronder field, and that ending??)

Hanneman legit reminds me of some of my professors. Well intentioned very nice people who are just incredible nerdy. A cute old man.

for all that many of Petra's ending end up in Nuvelle, its not actually all that close to Brigid. Seems like a mistake to me

claude badgering seteth to help him with his translations of old books

also its nice that 3h does not have the male as default thing and there are female background characters. Watching the starwars movies its weird that like every mook is male

dorothea and leonie co-chair the  let's-eat-the-nobles club.  claude and petra are both like fodlan nobles are weird and helpless with goofy dances

Ingrid and raphael competing at an eating competition.  Lysithea joins in because she wants cake

I have been overcome with the sudden urge to bully sylvain.  I want to see him make the sad pouty face

ferdinand is a good boy

I like to think that Agartha while progressing in some aspects, has also lost a lot of their technology in that they can still use it but no longer understand how it works

I want  more ignatz supports. I can see him bonding with ferdinand and dimitri strangely enough

Also claude and linhardt and claude competing for who can turn their room into a library first is so great

Again... still wondering what the climate and biogeography look like. Tall trees tend to be in wet temperate with good soil.  We knoe faerhgus is cold but not how cold.  All we know is that duscur ans sreng are cold and arid/semi arid.  We'd need some interesting wind patterns for fodlan to be temperate. If the northern coast is arid. The only way the interior is temperate is if wind is goinf north to south and gwtring trapped by tje central mountain range.  I dont think garreg mach is up in the himalayas

Sothis poorly grandmafriending byleth. Excellent

Playing AM and wow I forgot how much I want to punch dimitri I just want to off gilbert

I watched one of gilbert and annetes supports and wow I want to beat him into the ground all over again. Gilbert doesnt deserve a family

Ahhhh why did I play azure moon again. I'm stuck with gilbert the rest of the route!

i got a birthday letter from gilbert... i dun wan it

Linhardt really just does not care. Not about your "traditions"  or "laws". He only sort starts caring about "morals" after remire

Count Dominic: i have made the perfect crest bearing knight's daughter Me: you fucked up a perfectly good person is what you did. look at her. she's got anxiety. Me: prepare for pain.

Time to go beat up annettes uncle for giving her anxiety.  now I know where annettes fear of failure comes from... Annette deserves so much better

Sothis really is that gremlin living in the attic

I cant believe the reason dimitri made it past gronder was that his actions were so insane that so one could plan for them

I didn't expect ashe to be my mvp this time round... but he is.  Byleth and dimitri both have good strength but are squishy. Ashe's range is insane. He gets that skill that expands range + longbow + deadeye + horse + ring. And if thats not enough canto gets him back out of range. He crits on every other hit and has like a 60% crit rate with a killer bow. He kills everything in one turn. Armor units? Magic bow. Anything else he doubles and crits.

Alao update on the cornelia conspirqcy theory: busted

She just built firdiad a functioning sewer system

Back onto the debunking of the cornelia conspiracy theory  yeah she totally got replaced

Why am I playing azure moon.... I miss Claude

So the derdriu chapter in AM.... claude isnt as heartbroken aa in CF but he's not in a good place. I think he's mourning/coping with loss (the loss of possibilites, future, what could have been etc.) just like he was in CF. It also makea me think he's planning on invading fodlan in the future. I will need to think over this.

Gautier territory is a cold steppe and known for their horse breeding. Those hairy horses have to come from somewhere

Interestingly dimitri is 3/10 strongest in the army despite being a couple levels higher than everyone. So much for that Blaiddyd strength

Flayn is scared of being forgotten isn't she

Sylvain really takes care of dimitri huh

ahhh yeess claude in a poofy sleeved white shirt

Literally dimitri: no i dont "need rest". I have a headache but thats just from lack of sleep

Rodrigue and lambert ditching class getting high on the monastary roof

Faerhgus really is one giant death cult huh

Oh wow ingrid is like unhitable. High speed + evasion ring + avo+10 +alert stance+ + defiant avo

A-after many years I have finally finished azure moon... I think part of why I don't like azure moon is that it wasn't able to sell me on the rightful king narrative. And I CAN be sold on that as both Tolkien and Claude prove. That and the continued existence of gilbert. My loathing for that man is beyond expression

[highlights-of-the-lowlife]

An open letter

I recently had an...interaction with @lindsayetumbls which was fun. I sent them an ask hoping they would stop using the word lame because it targets disabled people like me.

My ask was (And I have sources for this in case anyone asks)

“I’ve been a fan of your work for years but going through your older work, you’ve used both the R slur and autistic as an insult. In recent videos you’ve the word lame. Could you please find other insults that don’t have a history of dehumanising or actively othering and attacking people like me for having physical and neurological disabilities?”

This was their response. Or at least part of it and more on that in a minute.

“*deep sigh, centers self*

Okay, I actually made a blog post about this YEARS ago. Since its an old blog post, I can understand that you might not have thought to hunt that down. I do think it’s pretty weaksauce to be like “could you please stop??” on eight and nine year old videos when its pretty obvious I have stopped. I shouldn’t have said those things, I was young, it was a different time, mea culpa.

But I do think there is a line to be drawn, and “Lame” is it. Same with words like “imbecile,” “idiot,” “moron” and so on. Yes, there is an underlying history of ableism for some of them. I understand and empathize with why you shouldn’t use as an insult “retarded” and “austistic.” But lame seems to me a bridge too far.

YOU. DO. NOT. GET. TO. DECIDE. WHAT. IS. ABLEIST.

But furthermore this was brought this up in a livestream and laughed about. Literally handwaved away.

http://listenonrepeat.com/watch/?v=G0Qz-ZCwbaQ#Inter__Persona_and_You

(For anyone wondering why its on listenonrepeat.com its because the video has been age gated and this is a workaround. The context starts at 54:00 because it relates to others being called out on trans slurs when they themselves might be NB or trans in some regard. The group brushes it off and says this person might be kinda right but you’re annoying so we will disregard you)

I am far too steamed to write a complete verbatim script for this so feel free if anyone wants to add. The entire defense of the use of slurs in this regard is that the person using them might be part of the group they target. You are not. You are able bodied. I get that my wording could have been vague on the issue of their work from years ago. But. I asked if they would stop using slurs against the physically disabled now. Because of their words in their recent works. And the fact of the matter is there still all the vile R slurs and cracks at autistic people on their channel right now from all those years ago. Monetised of course. Would that be the same if it was a racial slur? Would a buried apology be enough to continue profiting from such actions for other slurs as is or would the offenses  be censored?

As I stated in another ask I sent them, slurs against the disabled have body counts. People like me were actively killed and in some ways still are. There is no vague history especially when its still happening. We were shuttled into asylums and deliberately infected with TB because of words like lame and imbecile. Eugenics only fell out of favour because of the Nazi associations when the Nazis themselves based their programs on what the rest of Europe and the US were doing at the time. The UK is purging the disabled by cutting benefits to unliveable levels. 6000 people have died so far. Part of Brexit was to avoid EU court rulings about this being a massive human rights violation. The US is constantly targetting the disabled by cutting govt aid and access to healthcare, painting people as huge burdens to tax dollars. The abled don’t get to decide the meaning is gone when I hear earn or die on the daily. When people like me as seen as subhuman.

As for the words themselves, they still target people. Words like idiot and imbecile are thrown at the autistic community a lot. Because obviously you can’t attack them for being autistic. It just has to be reframed as weird and bad and wrong. Words targeting the mentally ill like insane are applied to the shitty actions of perfectly happy people, pushing the blame off them and onto the ill as a scapegoat which is why we have such wonderful things as diagnose Trump. His shitty actions clearly aren’t because he has vile opinions. He must be mentally ill. Lame is used to this day to denote horses who need to be shot because of injuries. That could never carry over to people, right? Nobody wants to kill us because of our disabilities, right?

Would she say gay as a synonym for bad was okay? Thats a trick question because I know she wouldn’t. This is no difference no matter how much anyone wants to say the slurs are divorced from their meaning. “No I mean gay as just a word for bad. Its not homophobic”. This is entire hypocritical. But on to the video. She and and cohorts argued that taking these words away would be too hard to do because it would limit the words they can use which is terribad. That sounds familiar. Almost like what the ‘free speechers’ say about racist/homophobic/sexist/transphobic/every other slur now. Can’t take your precious words away now can we? What about the alt right bringing back a bunch of archaic racial slurs? Is it okay because they are old? Whats the timeline? Is it okay because these ableist slurs are starting to fall out of living memory (Fun joke: they aren’t at all)

Also funny she should say you might look back on this in 20 years and cringe for being on the wrong side of history. Especially when told these words hurt people now and all the slur laden videos from 9 years ago are still making money to this day. This could have been a proactive thing. This could have been thought about, discussed and changed now.

But since I can’t seem to convince these people who laughed at me from a treating me as a human because its the right thing to do standpoint, I’ll try to convince them as a writer. The people laughing about me in the video are all writers. They get paid to write. Their livelihood depends on their ability to find words to express ideas and concepts in creative and interesting ways. What does it say when none of them are willing to give up the low hanging fruit of slurs against the disabled? One could call it laziness. Amateur even. To insult them without mentioning slurs or their looks would be trivial. I could call them personified wet doorknobs. Or an overturned damp rock of a human. Or that their soul runneth over with dumpsterjuice that spills into their prose.

So please, feel free to ask @lindsayetumbls @actuallykylekallgren @hbomberguy and @elisaintime why they get to decide what slurs are okay when a disabled person tells them they are harmful.