#and i'll even tell anyone 1 year older than me that i can smell their old people smell

[curiously-questing]

*me when a 30 year old follows me on any other social media" woAH WOAH WOAH WOAH WOAH WHAT ARE YOU HERE FOR *block*

*me when a 30 year old follows me on tumblr* Hello sir!! would you like a place to sit and rest your frail legs? we have a senior discount on everything here!!! of course you can pet my cat while you stay!! and my dog too!! let me grab another chair while you tell me the stories of your childhood and the internet :)

[mypimpademia]

Shinso x reader, Mina x reader, Kaminari x reader, Kirishima x reader

TW: Swearing

Note: another part of my high school AU! I've been wanting to write for some characters that I dont write too often, and I thought this would be the best way, enjoy!

Thank you to @katsuflossy for helping me w shinso and Kaminaris soccer parts😭

Taglist: @myhoodacademia @katsuflossy @iiminibattlehero @ecao @nnnoya @hawklmaoo @strawberry-ice @mixfi @wolfkid22 @mythiccheroacademia @myfandemons @lilsparkyswife @her-majesty-kiara @mindofess @kqtsukisgf @1-800-s1mping @angiebug101 @mads-fairy @solar3lunar

SHINSO.

He's one of the people that genuinely perfers being alone most of the time

And hes very intimidating to most people, but most realize that he's pretty chill and cool if you just talk to him

Hitoshi would be on the soccer team too

Number 12 baby (Ronaldinho's number)

Hed play midfield, and have insane control over the ball

Hes calm on the field just like he is off it

But he gets a little competitive sometimes, might have to sit down and take a breather for a second

He sometimes ends up talking shit about his opponents, and he is NOT quiet about it

Will look the exact player he's talking about dead in the eye and say that shit

"I'll knock your knees out if you push me again."

And he plays a little dirty, might kick the ball around in away that'll make people fall on their ass just to get a laugh out of it

He steps on and kicks shins too

Hes really the soccer teams MVP, they went one game without him an lost and realized just how much of a key he was to them

Hitoshi sees you as his good luck charm during games, if you're not there he feels like he can't play his absolute best

Good luck kisses before he goes on the field are mandatory, if you dont give him one or forget, youre gonna get a very sweaty hug after the game

Hitoshi has only ever come to school in sweatpants and hoodies, and only wears jeans or something other than his usual once a week just so he can switch it up

He probably comes in with major bags under his eyes and smelling like coffee

And just a little bit late

He normally goes out to eat during lunch, and always takes you with him and let's you choose

You're honestly the most underrated couple in school

The loner boy and his gorgeous s/o, it's basically a real life wattpad story

When people try flirting with you, he tries getting his soccer cleats out on them and you have to stop him before someone gets hurt

Hitoshi is just underrated overall and no one but you and his friens realize, give him more recognition </3

MINA.

The really nice popular girl of course

But one of the popular people whose popularity actually means something for once

Gets along with basically the whole school

And she makes sure everyone knows she belongs to you and you belong to her

"Mhm, I've got a pretty s/o, and I love them soo much."

Probably posts you on all her socials (that the whole school follows) everyday

Mina has been in pretty much every club and team, which is exactly how she got popular

She joins as many as she can every year, but her favorites are dance and volleyball, maybe soccer too

For dance she likes to show you her routines, and maybe even teach you how to do them if you're down for it

"How was that?!"

"You wanna learn it too, babe? I could teach you!"

She's the captain of every team she's been on

It honestly just comes from her being so charismatic and the way she can get along with people and bring everyone together

Mina is 100% best dressed

Best everything honestly

Best dressed, Best hair, all that

She's cool with all the staff members, so sometimes the turn a blind eye if she decides to head out at random even when she's not supposed to

The two of you are Thee School Couple

Everyone wishes they were you guys or at least had a relationship like the one you had

Everyone would be in tears if yall so much as fought

So 10/10 for both of you

KAMINARI.

Certified pretty play boy

Hes a flirt, and friendly, and super popular

But the playboy act dropped once the two of you got together, because that's when everyone saw how much of a simp he was for you

Denki would just constantly fawn and gush over you, it would be annoying if it were anyone else, but it was just so cute to see him be so crazy for someone after he was basically known for never being tied down

Hes on the soccer team with Shinso!

Number 5 <3

Who did you think was calming Shinso down when he got mad??? Definitely not their other teammates

Hes the teams striker, and him an Shinso are so coordinated on the field together it leaves their own teammates in shock everytime

Hes a good sport (unlike Shinso), and is very friendly with his opponents

Wishes them luck before the game, helps them up if they fall, even says 'My bad!' If he accidentally trips someone, and tells the good job if they lose

Like Shinso, good luck kisses are a must

They're more like good luck make outs with him, and he usually ends up getting so wrapped up in them that he only makes it to the field by the skin of his teeth (he gets yelled at by the coach a lot)

He gets so god damn DIRTY on the field

And it doesn't even make sense because he really doesn't slide around or fall too much

He just manages to come out covered in dirt, and the sweat doesn't make it better

Oh, and even if you give him a good luck kiss, he still hugs you after the game

He doesn't do it to be mean, he just gets excited when he's on the field and has a bunch of energy left when games are over

Denki takes you to get ice cream after games. Shinso third wheels sometimes, but it's cool and not awkward at all because you're all besties

Denki is the most popular guy in school, and he'd be most popular overall if it weren't for Mina

You guys get rated cutest couple by all the students because no one had seen Denki simp till you came along and it was just too cute

Everyone wishes they could be yall </3

And half the school has beef with you because you're dating Denki and they're jealous

But you guys are still an adorable and amazing couple so who cares

KIRISHIMA.

The super sweet and popular jock!

Hes the older sibling to all the people younger than him and in lower grades

Hes on the football team of course

The quarterback too

Number 44

Hes that player that the coach is really trying to get a scholarship for

The one the coach pulls off to the side and says "son, let me talk to you..." and then tells him how far he'll go

Colleges are already scouting him

Most of the school is crushing on him honestly

But they all know that he's all for you and only you

Eiji gives you kisses before games, after games and sometimes when there's a long enough break he'll run and kiss you really quick

Hes a vv good sport, always wishes players good luck and says nice job after games, and separates any of his teammates that try to fight w their opponents then say sorry

It's usually Bakugo hes separating because hes on the football team with Eiji when he's not in Boxing

Everyone that's younger than you sees you and kiri as big siblings, and those older see you as cousins

Yall are just that couple that everyone loves

The whole school basically gushes when you walk in wearing his letterman jacket or one of his football jerseys

You're the couple the doesn't disgust everyone when you kiss in the halls <3

[fortheloveofkuroo]

HAIKYUU AU;

Part 1 Part 2

Karasuno boys are having a sleepover in your place, their Manager!

7. Hinata Shouyo

Aweee look at those adorable face TwT

I'm a huge softie for first year tbh like.. WHO DOESN'T.

You know how Hinata supposed to ride his bike trough the mountain for half an hour and nu-uh baby you don't have to do that.

He doesn't mind though, he got his trusty rain coat stored back in his bag.

BUT STILL.

You insist at having the boys staying over night in your house. Watching you and Daichi having an argument it's like watching his parents quarelling.

"What about the others with a far house? Like Hinata, huh?"

DING DING DING! You - 1, Daichi - 0.

Hinata, being the most happy-go-lucky boi he is walks to your house with the most brightest grin.

You two are basically close enough, a lot of the first years really adores you. Because of your motherly side and well, your scary sides sometimes almost scares them more than Daichi's.

But Hinata, boy he is your favorites. He's the most brightest cheerful boy you've ever met and he's just like a baby brother..

To you, at least.

"Na na (Y/n)-senpai, do you have any siblings?" He asked. You nods. "Mhm i have one. He's on junior high. He's about your height." You jokes, knowing so well that Hinata will be pissed about it. And he did, he start complaining and protesting despite the rainy weather.

God you love him so much.

After unlocking the doors, you all entered the house quickly because the weather is just getting more worse. After distributing the towel, you went to bath.

While Hinata and the others busy looking around your house.

"Woaaah.. So this is what a girl's house look like.." he accidentally blurts out his thought. "Well yeah, never see a normal house before?" Tsukishima scoffs.

"Damn it Tsukishima. Shut up!" "Hey don't talk to Tsukki like that!" Yelp Yamaguchi.

After waiting for a bit the boys finally got to shower. Some of the third years showers first so he waits. But his sharp nose picks up something. Something smells delicious. The third years are back from his bath too.

So he follows his instinct and trails the delicious aroma and he ended up in Kitchen. He was about to walk past the Kitchen but then..

His eyes- Oh my for the love of Asahi's beautiful hair. He witness someone's cornering you. He panicks. He saw the gorgeous golden karaage that's been served on the plate and quickly snatch a few of them.

Before any of you could say anything, he bowed so many times and left the kitchen at ungodly speed. Leaving both of you in awkward position.

He was munching the Kaarage only to realized that his face is still in panic state. So he went to the trusty ol' buddy. Kageyama lol.

"What happen? You run into a ghost or somethin? That's what you get for cutting the line dumb-" "Kageyama.. In the kitchen.."

Ah shoot, is he really going to tell him this?

"They were in the kitchen.. They.." But before he could explained, Kageyama already assumed first what he was going to say.. incorrectly.

"Sugawara-san is cornering (Y/n)-san.." he whispered. Maybe his whisper is a tad too loud. Someone might have heard that. Kageyama clench his towel and gets up.

Poor bby tried to stop him but gets thrown away instead. He never know what happen when Kageyama went to the Kitchen. All he want to do now is get to the hot shower and eats.

"Hinata you can go." A voice told him, it was Nishinoya. Hinata thanked him and went to bathroom. Before he can get to the bathroom, he get past the kitchen. Preparing himself to witness another 'intense moment' as he past by.

But he locks eyes with you instead. You eyes was a little gloomy. His heart suddenly got a little pinch when he see your unusual facial expression.

After showering, he went out. Fold his dirty clothes and join the others. Somehow your unusual expression gets him that hard. He hardly can focus on food when you and Sugawara served the main dish.

Of course he still talks and jokes around but you're the only one who noticed that Hinata's not as cheerful when he first enter your house.

"Um.. Due to lack of the space, one of you have to sleep with me."

As usual the two second years that are going after you fights over who's the one who gets to sleep with you.

Untill you pull Hinata from the crowds and grins.

"I choose Hinata, he's like my baby brother so i trust him!" You smiles as you hang your arms on his shoulder. Hinata cannot believe you just did but everyone strangely agrees.

"He's too dumb anyway, he won't do anything weird to (Y/n)-san." Ouch, He heard that.

You leave the door open as you prepare the mattress for him. Ofc he helps too. You two pull the mattress out and prepares it.

"Here's your pillow and blanket. Do you need anything else?" You kindly asked. Hinata shakes his head.

"Kay then, i'll turn off the lights!" Once you cut off the light, the dim room suddenly got so different. You jumped to your bed and wrap yourself in your soft fluffly blanket as you face Hinata's side.

"Hehehe, i feel like sleeping with my brother, it's somehow exciting." You chuckles. Hinata looks up, he tried to find your face in the dim room. Thanks to the moon that unexpectedly shines over you two, you both able to see each others faces.

You're surprised after seeing Hinata's face. He got that serious calm face just like when he about to take over the courts. It sometimes scares you how the loud boy can be so calm yet serious.

"Do i look like that to you, (Y/n)-senpai?" He asked. Sitting right up.

"Huh?"

"Do i really look like your baby brother?" He asked. You jokingly agrees. But when he gets up. You know he's serious now. Oh fuck.

"Did you forget that i'm a boy too?" His fast movement plus the dim room causing you to lower your guards and just in a second, he's already on top of you. Wait how?

"You know.. I saw how Suga-san cornering you like this in the kitchen earlier." He explained. Ah he did witness that.

"Don't treat me like a child, (Y/n)-san. I'm- I'm a man too!" He stated while making a manly face.

You can't help but smiles. Damn, you misunderstand him. You always thought that he just adore you because you're his senpai, turns out you're wrong. He got thus serious yet commited face. And don't forget a lil' flushed cheeks.

"I'm not a kid..." those were his last word before he falls down on your body and fall asleep.

You laughed and hugs him. Hugging him close to your chest.

"Of course you're not, Shouyou.."

8. Tsukishima Kei

Salt boi is here yall

He doesn't bother to say no when you offer him.

"Hah? No thanks. I'm not in the mood for sleepover."

But oh well you insist him to go in the end. And he does.

As expected, Tsukki didn't say much or even complained. Because he kept it inside. Pfft.

"Dang it why do i have to do this?" "i should've decline." "This is just a club, duh." "How many times i have to deal with this bunch of idiots."

"ThIs iS jUst A ClUb"

He places his shoes and went in. Leaving everyone behind and drop himself to your couch.

While everyone are looking at him with the 'what-the-fuck' face and Daichi is ready to beat his ass, but you stopped them.

"It's alright you all. Tsukki is actually visited my house a lot so he gets used to it." You explained and everyone are shooked.

Everyone asked him why did he get to visit your house. He simply shrugs "Our parents are friends with each other."

Everyone never knew that you both are actually childhood friend. Well you and his older brother is. But you consider Tsukki's your childhood friend too because he used to tag along with his older brother and play together with you. Since middle school, he often visits your home. Along with Akiteru.

No one really notice this because of your rare interaction. Sure you often scolds him and talk ti him but no interaction outside the club activity.

While the other are making a ruckus he wondered. "It's been so long after i came here. When was it? Around Junior high i guess? Well, doesn't matter."

"Tsukki! You came here a lot? How come i never know??" Yamaguchi protest. He doesn't believe that his bestfriend is actually close with anyone.

"None of your bussiness Yamaguchi." He simply shut him up and dried his blonde hair.

His eyes wander around your living room. Nothing change since his last visit. He hates to admit it but it brings so much memories.

"Nee-chan, I like you!"

He snaps out. Fuck why is he remembering that now. He takes off his glass and massaged his temple as Hinata rushing back from the kitchen.

It didn't take too long for him to figure out everything because of Hinata's loud whispering. He knows what happen between you and Sugawara in the Kitchen.

It's none of his concern. Or is it?

So he didn't think about it and left to bath. Before he able to enter the bath, you tried to stop him and offer him a clean towel for him but ofc he refuse wdy expect.

Once he shut the door close, gotta admit he kinda hate seeing Sugawara touchy touchy with you. But tch, what's his problem. It's your problem, not his. So what if you date someone from the voleyball club, right?

...Right?

He left the bath feeling a little better and less annoyed. When he's back to the living room he saw how close you are to the senpais. Deep down, it honestly irks him. But oh well.

Just when he place himself infront of the table, you hand him his portion of rice. "Not too much, right? I still remember!" You smiled.

He thanked you then starts to eat. Tsukishima probably is the calmest when eating. While everybody laughs, jokes, and talks he keep quiet and focus on his food. Sure he add a littlr insults here and there but it doesn't distract him from his focus.

You love that side of Tsukishima. If only he can take Voleyball that serious, you thought to yourself.

After cleaning up and washing the dishesh, it's time to sleep.

Again, "Um... Due to the lack of space, one of you have to sleep with me."

Again, Tsukishima already prepared himself for sleeping anywhere. Anywhere is fine really. He just want to call it a night. Sleeping with you? It's out of his boundaries. He can never do that-

"Tsukishima? You alright?" Your voice snaps him out.

"Huh oh, me?"

"Yeah. You seems spacing out a lot lately." Tsukishima denies, only to realize that he's in your room and no one is around him.

"Wait. Where's everyone?" He wonder. You laughs. "They've gone to sleep. And you should too, Tsukki." You tap his back, giving him a little rub.

After you pulled the mattress out, Tsukishima helps you with the sheet and stuff. He didn't say a word. Is he okay, you always wonder.

"Can you turn the lights off, please?" You ask him. He reach for the lights and turns it off. When darkness hits you. It's like you're in a different room.

10 minute have passed and none of you made any sound. Ony the sound of your body turning over and over and the soft blanket.

"What is it? Can't sleep?" Tsukishima suddenly spoke out. You're kinda surprised a little. But you nods.

"Hey, don't you remember our first sleepover?-" "I didn't. Goodnight." He cuts you off and turns his back on you. Guess he's that tired afterall.

For god sake you've tried to close your eyes arpund hundred thousand times. But it won't. Tsukishima presence is making you hard to behave.

You face him. Looking over his broad back. He grew so fast. You barely stands a chance. You remember how you and him used to compare your height and he beats you. You remember how he used to play with you and Akiteru will suggest a weird yet fun ideas. And how that day, he... confess to you.

You snaps out when you feel a sudden hit in your hand. You look over to him and find his eyes looking at you. "Are you okay? Staring at the ceiling, not blinking for almost a minute now. I'm almost having a heart attack." He said followed with a laugh of yours.

"Sorry, reminiscing old times."

"What do you mean?"

"You know, our old times."

He suddenly became quiet again. You turn over him and rest your head at the corner of the bed. "Why.. Are you avoiding me?" Tsukishima scoffs. "Avoiding you? When?" "3 summers ago. When we're having our first sleepover. And you..."

Your heart and brain are niw deciding whether you should remind him or not. Not noticing your body being so close to the edge and boom.

You fell right trough to his body. What a coincidence right. "What the- Get off me!" He pushed you off. Ouch..

You sits on his bed. Your heart is still aching from him raising his voice. You looks away.

"Do you hate me that much? I tried to talk to you but you never listen." Tsukki looks over to you. His blurry gaze didn't help so he sits right up too and faces you.

"What is your problem? Can't you just sleep quietly?" "I cannot!" "Well then stop bothering me!" ..He might have gone too far.

Is that you've been doing? Bothering him..?

Ah fuck, never knew getting told off like this will hurt your heart that much.

"Fine, Sorry. I'll stop." You climbs up to your bed. Ignoring your aching heart you decided to close your eyes.

Until you feel a warm presence behind you. You know it's him. "What are you-" "Shut up and listen. Don't cut me off and let me finish." He stated. Your silence showing that you agrees.

"I still remember our first sleepover. I remember how we can't sleep untill 2. While Akiteru-nii is sleeping, we talk and jokes until the night goes away. But one thing that i want to forget that night is when i..." he stops for a while, seems lost. His left hand is resting on your waist. You holds his hand. Calming him.

"When i confess to you. I want to erase that memory from my mind but lucky me huh, we met again. So it's a fail." You turn around and cups his face. "..Are you assuming that night that i rejected you, Kei?" He didn't expect this. What the hell?

You chuckles, seeing his clueless face is funny. "You stupid giraffe. It's my first confession dummy. I don't know how to react so i just left you off and sleep without thinking about it. But now that i think about it.." your cheeks heating up. Ah shit.

You two are so close. There's barely any distance left. His arms suddenly pushed you into his hug. Resting your head in his chest.

"In case you want to know. My feelings haven't change a slightest."

9. Yamaguchi Tadashi.

Look at that. You've been blessed by his precious smile.

Cutie didn't want to bother you at first. But Tsukki's joining so why not?

As you already know, the first year are well obsessed? Not really, but all of them put you in a special place in their heart.

Especially for Yamaguchi.

You know his struggle. His pain. His grieve when he failed that pinch serve.

You're the one who calms him down and be there for him. His panic, he almost burst out to tears and he did, he tried to leave but you stopped him and hugs him while he's crying like a baby in your hug.

And of course after that he developed a huge crush on you.

He's amazed on how you're able to handle most of them from the craziest, loudest one to the saltiest and quietest one.

When he step into your house, he barely even realize that his face shows how happy he is. Spending a night in your house, what is this a dream?

'Till he found out that his bestfriend, Tsukishima is your childhood friend. And he never knew anything. At. All.

"Tsukki? You came here a lot? How come i never knew??" And as usual Tsukishima shuts him up

He lost a little bit of his hope. Poor baby :(

You and Yamaguchi is always a good.. friend? I mean you both comfort each other. But being their Senior and their Manager, it's your job right?

But then he heard that Sugawara-senpai is- what? Cornering you? What is going on?

His heart immediately panicks and over-thinking.

It's true that everyone want to have you, but.. He cannot lose. He won't.

For a whole day he keeps himself quiet. More quiet than the usual. From the bath to dinner. And you don't even notice. Weird, usually you notice right away.. But oh well, he can talk to you later, right?

And the time came.

"Um.. Due to the lack of space, one of you have to sleep with me."

His heart jolts up. His chance for talking to you.

He locked eyes with you. Hoping you notice him. But.. You didn't. And in the end, you decided to sleep alone. Shoot. "There goes my chance." He thought.

The coldness in the living room is not comfortable at all. His mind is still going around on you, you, and only you. He need to talk to you. So he made up his mind.

He sloowly make his way to your room. Knocking it lightly to inform you. But no answer. A minute has passed since the last knock went on your door. "She's probably asleep.." But the door's open. And he got a glimpse of you in your bed. Getting sleepy but still a little awake.

Then your eyes met. Yamaguchi squeak and tried to run away. "Wait! Yamaguchi!" And he freezes on the spot. You walk over and opens the door.

"What is it?" Your gentle smile flies is a cure for his worries and thoughts.

"I-I.. But you already asleep, i shouldn't bother you, I'm sorry.."

"No no! It's alright. Come here." You says with a smiles. God his heart feel at ease. He quietly walk closer and enter your room.

He's embarassed and it shows. His fidgety moves and the sweaty palms.

You pull the mini mattress below your bed and Yamaguchi immediately helps you. You both then sits on top of it.

"What is it you want to talk, hm?" You look over to the shy boy. He let out a sigh and then his arms wraps around you. You're quiet a bit surprise seeing him hugs you first. Usually you're the one who hugs him first if he's having a breakdown.

"Let me recharge, senpai.." Yes. You're his source of battery. Being around you or near you giving him energy that will make him last a whole day.

"Sure thing, Tadashi." You ruffles his dark green hair. You can feel his breath tickling your neck. And it's the time. "Okay now, go to sleep-" "No. Wait, don't pull away.. Not yet." He hugs you tighter, not letting you go.

"You're warm, Senpai.. And you look really cute in that pajamas." He whispered to your ears. Causing your face to turns into a blushing mess.

"What the hell Tadashi, when did you learn to sweet talk like this, huh?!" You hit his head lightly.

"Ow! I didn't, i mean it.." the boy green haired boy rubs his head as he snuggles to you.

"I know Tadashi. And it works."

Hey hey hey! FINALLY DONEEE! Oh my enjoy everybody. And remember, stay save!

[kileyrose-2003]

Rose the Hat x Fem! Reader: Part 2

A/N: Hello lovelies! This is continuation of what @merci-bitch requested. I am putting the link to Part 1 down below if you haven't read it:

Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy! @mewbleu I am working on your request and I'll be in touch with you once I get closer to finishing it.

Love you all and hope everything is well!

One bottle of wine and less than a twenty minutes drive later, Rose had you already figured out and in her bed at the Bluebell Campground.

She drove you mad that whole time and hours after that. It was 2:17 in the morning and you both were still going to strong. Her head was tucked in between the soft flesh of your thighs as she ran her tongue across your clit.

"Damn it, Rose!" The older woman laughed and you gripped your fingers into her knotted tresses. "What's the matter, my sweet? I told you I'd punish you for running from me."

"You can't do it any other..form?" You grimaced. She smirked and stuck her fingers inside you quickly, getting a gasp out of you. "So eager for me," She mused and pulled them out.

You let out a whine and shook your head. "That's not fair!" Rose smiled gamely though there was a hint of maliciousness in her eyes. "It's fair, sweetheart. You've had control of all your previous relationships and now I'm the one in charge here and what I want, I always get."

She ran her fingers teasingly across your clit and you squirmed. "Just give it to me..please!" You grunted.

"For such a dominant woman, you're so submissive to me. I almost forgot how much I like hearing you beg underneath me from the last time we seen each other." She inserted her fingers inside you again. "Beg for me again."

Your cheeks went red at the mere thought of begging but it all felt so right. "Rose, please! I want you." You cried out and she grinned. "Much better." She quickened her pace, eliciting moans of pleasure from you.

"It's fun pleasure though, isn't it?" You bit your lips and let out a whine, hoping your neighbors couldn't hear what you were doing through the walls even though they very well knew how you were.

"Y-yes," You rasped, answering her questions. "You haven't had a true, passion fuck in a while. You're mine, Y/n. You know that right? All mine. I won't share you with the others. In a way that's what you've always wanted, haven't you? Someone to call your own.

"Y-yes..." You nodded and she started peppering kisses on your stomach. "That's my girl." She nipped at your belly button and you hissed, pushing her head away.

"Rose, that hurt!" You yelled more loudly than you would of liked too. None of the True knew you were at their campsite yet and you planned on keeping that a secret for as long possible. You didn't exactly have the feeling Rose told anyone she was coming for you.

"Oh please, you enjoyed it." She smiled and quickened her pace. "You feel so tight."

"I don't think I'm going to..make it much longer! Please Rosie, I want to come!" You begged, feeling like you wanted to cry.

"Then come for me." Her hands slipped away from your folds and you instantaneously orgasmed.

You arched your back up into the air in euphoria. It all felt so surreal and it was by far the best night of sex you ever had.

When the sensation began to fade you plunked back down on the bed next to Rose who pulled you close to her.

"My special girl," She cooed and ran her thumb across your cheek lazily. You smiled softly at first and shook your head, thinking of all the times someone called you special it probably wasn't in a good manner. "Don't call me that."

"Oh? Why not?" There was slight amusement in her voice. "I don't know. I don't think there's much special about me..I guess after being told you're crazy for so long you just start to believe it." You shrugged.

"You know..if you really wanted, we could always pay that back." She nipped your cartilage.

"It wouldn't matter anyways because they'd end up with the satisfaction of knowing I'm not in my right mind in that moment."

Rose sighed and kissed your cheek. "You're sane and very special. I've found over the years, people are afraid of what they can't explain or others who are more jealous of them. It elicts a sort of jealousy. That's why people who aren't special like us are rubes in my families eyes. They're all idiots. You were born into a family of people who didn't understand and appreciate you. It's a shame too because you're extra steamy. Something I haven't seen in a while."

"It's not that as a whole they didn't appreciate me. It was just my parents." Rose shrugged. "Still, idiotic rubes."

"Do they know I'm here?"

"Who?"

"The others?"

"My Crow is out on business so it doesn't matter but do you care?" You decided you didn't and shrugged slightly. Laying your head on her bare chest. "You love Crow?"

Rose chuckled and kissed the top of your head. "You got a twinkle in your eye, don't you?" You blushed and she shook her head. "No, no. No shame. I despise the term love. It's such a rube thing to declare. A foolish promise if you ask me."

You nodded and nuzzled closely to her. "True..but you're avoiding the question."

Rose sighed. "I guess you can say I love him. We have a very deep bond. We're knotted together. The whole family is. I do enjoy him more than the others though."

You laughed and squeezed her hand gently. "For someone who insist I'm such a busy girl, you get around too."

Rose smacked your ass in a way that said she was being playfully but also in a 'don't you disrespect me like that.' nature.

"He knows how I am besides the fact I'm not exactly so patient as to just be satisfied with just his welcome home greeting."

You snorted and she gave you a nasty look before pulling your head close to her warm breast. "Comments?"

"None at all." She raised a brow and placed a sloppy kiss against your cheek. You wiped away some of the spit and the woman laughed throatily, no hint of apology on her face.

"Oh yes..you and I are going to have alot of fun together. Rest up dear, you're going to have a long day tomorrow. You'll be one with us and one of us." She caressed your cheek and kissed your temple. "Goodnight, Y/n."

"Night, Rose." You hummed softly and nuzzled closely to her. She felt so warm and smelled earthy in a good way. It almost reminded you of your childhood but this time it didn't cause you any pain.

You could feel Rose running her fingers through your hair and your eyes began to flutter shut. Soon enough you succumbed to your exhaustion but Rose stayed up for a while, watching you sleep.

She could feel your emotional scars and all the trauma like weights in your mind. Some of it from her but she tried not to focus on thag. It wasn't a wonder how you hid from her for so long now. You locked everything away in the closet. You had to unless you wanted to become a statistic on accidental drug overdose.

Part of her wondered and knew if that your first meeting did go different, despite your age, you would of tasted amazing.

She wasn't concerned with that though. Now it was just going to be the matter of ridding you of your emotional baggage.

"So much pain inside for such a short time in this world..I guess that doesn't matter though anymore. I know what I have to do with you. I'm going to fix you up like my Andi, pretty little things the two of you."

You squirmed slightly in your sleep and Rose hushed you, sending you waves of calmness with her shine. "Nothing to be afraid of, my sweet. I have you and I'm not going to let anyone hurt you like that ever again."

You ceased your squirming and Rose grinned. "Now you get it." She kissed the top of your head and shut her own eyes before falling asleep next to you.

When you awoke the next morning it was to the roar of a car engine followed by the crunching of twigs from the impact of the tires.

At first you attempted to brush it off as some nearby car speeding down the road but the noise was too close for comfort.

Rose groaned and held herself up using the back of her hands. "What time is it?"

"I don't know but I heard a car." Rose smiled and sat up, not bothering to cover herself up. "Oh that's just my Crow."

"Y-you're not going to cover yourself or tell me to get out?" She laughed and rubbed your cheek. "Honey, in case you haven't noticed, norms don't matter around here."

"I know but isn't he going to mad? It's not like we exactly got off on the right foot."

"He'll get over himself. Like I said-" There was a slight knock followed by the sounds of the doorknob jiggling.

You squeezed your eyes shut, preparing for the worst. "Rosie, I'm back. Sorry I'm late but I stopped at District X and-" Crow turned to look at Rose and his jovial expression began to melt. She was completely naked.

Not that it was unusual to him, he was very familiar with her in this type of setting but your presence completely threw him off.

A pang of jealousy hit the inside of him. He knew of Rose's amorous nature and considered himself to bisexual as well, though his experience was limited with men and who was he to judge on what she did while he was gone but you..

You were a rube, their lost food at best and you had seen his Rosie in a way no other person should of. As far it was his concern, you should of been dead the second you struck out at him.

Crow Daddy's posture stiffened and he met Rose's mystical eyes. "What the hell is going on here and why is that little whore in my spot?"

Rose would of been lying if she said the appearance of his rare temper making itself known didn't shock her slightly.

She pulled you close to her and you shoved the blankets around your sides to try and prevent your breast from popping out.

"Crow, this-" She gestured to your form. "Is Y/n. She's going to be our newest recruit."

He made a face and you returned the look with as much crudeness as he gave to you. "Who is laying in my spot." The words came out like an animalistic grunt. "Rose, I thought we agreed we weren't turning her after our last experience with her."

"I didn't promise you anything. I'm the leader of this group. I'll do what I want." Her eyes turned predatorial and you cringed.

"We need food more than we need new members. She might just be on that age bracket where still taste good for her age."

The look in his eyes was no longer one of anger but a hungered expression and you shifted uncomfortably around in the bed.

Rose ignored you and stood up off the bed, approaching Crow. She laced her fingers through his hair and smiled sweetly, laying it on a little thick.

"We're not eating her. That's the end of it . Admit it, you said you thought she was cute." He sighed and wrapped an arm around her bare waist. "Yeah but-"

"But nothing. You wanted to turn her originally. Did you not?" Rose leaned up and nipped the cartilage on his ear. You would of been lying if you said you didn't envy him in that moment.

"I did." His hands pressed gently into Rose's side. Leaving little red imprints on her pale physiognomy. "What are you planning at?"

She smirked and pecked his lips. "You'll see. Now go on. I'll see you later, alright?"

"Sounds good." You could of sworn you seen Crow narrow his eyes at you before walking out the door.

"He's very..intense." Rose chuckled and shook her head. "Not usually. He's just very protective. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm alright. Just got a little scared for a second." You chuckled nervously to try and brush off some of your anxiety.

"There's something else on your mind too. You want to tell me about it?" She pet the back of your head. "I just..I don't know. I guess I'm afraid of getting stabbed in the back. Every person I've ever gotten close to has either hurt me or just abandoned me and I'm scared of that happening again."

"When you join our family, we have each other's back. We might get at each other's throats at times but we don't betray each other because after being alive for a while we've pretty much seen everything. So we get how it feels to be in someone else's shoes, okay?"

"Okay." You nodded as Rose got up and threw some clothes in your direction. "Come on, I think it's time I introduce you to the others."

Once you met the members of The True and they weren't trying to murder you, you found their company to be very enjoyable.

You instantly connected with Andi who like you, didn't have an easy past. Plus she was around your age which made it easier for you to talk to her.

It made Rose a little jealous but she tried to let it get to her so much. She didn't have to be in your head to know you were hoping this was going to be a way for you to settle down and she planned her hardest on trying to give you that.

Later on that night after dinner was cleaned up you sat down on the muddied ground as you looked up at the stars.

Normally seeing them made you feel serene but tonight it made you scared. You didn't know how long you sat there for until you felt Rose tapping your shoulder. "Are you ready?" You nodded and wiped a tear away from your eyes. "Yeah."

"Good.. why are you crying?" You sniffled a tiny bit as she nervously forced your head back into her lap. "I'm nervous."

She let out a snort and had to fight the urge to chuckle. "Oh please, a girl like you? You are a force to reckon with. Just think, no pain after this. All bliss and all you have to do embrace it."

"Okay." Rose wiped your eyes. "Is it going to hurt?" She rubbed your temples. "A little but no fear, you understand?" You nodded and relaxed your posture.

"Grampa Flick, we're ready when you are." You looked up and the entire Knot was hoarded around you. Some of them were smiling while others looked mad.

"Lodsam hanti, we are the chosen ones," All of the True repeated after him. "Cahanna risone hanti, we are the fortunate ones. Sabbatha hanti, sabbatha hanti."

"We are the True Knot, and we endure. Here is a woman. Would she join us? Would she tie her life to our life and be one of us?" You felt everyone's eye fall on you and you tensed, that inner voice screaming to run while you can.

(Say yes.)

"Yes." You whispered it but it was enough for Rose. She pulled out a cannister from her dress and held it up in the air.

"This one is special like you. Her name was Abra and like you, she thought she could run from me. There's still plenty of her left and she taste-" The cannister cracked open, letting out the scream of someone fighting for their life to a pitiful whimper. "Like spice."

You watched in horror as she inhaled the steam. You figured that if they were going to eat your steam, then possibly it was what they lived off of but you thought it was just adults they killed. The scream sounded like it could of belonged to a child.

Your blood ran cold and Rose's hair tckled your face as she leaned infront of you, the steam floating infront of your face. "Breathe deep!"

For a moment you thought about refusing then thought of that girl's scream. If you refused, you would end up with her fate. That was the last thing you wanted.

Despite the moral dilemma you breathed in the steam. You could feel the coldness of it along with the kick it gave on its way to your stomach.

For a moment you felt nothing but then everything went cold. You opened your mouth to try and ask Rose what was happening but nothing came out.

Your throat felt tight and Rose grinned down at you. "Embrace it." Your body began to arch and you could feel your stomach burning.

"It burns!" You screamed and clawed at the dirt. "I know..I know." You could practically feel Rose smiling at you.

There were hands clamping down your arms and legs and you screeched. "No! No! NO!" A big blue burst of energy flashed infront of your face and soon everything around you faded into darkness.

The next morning when you woke up your face and hair was caked with sweat and mud was all over your clothes.

Their was a near by puddle of water and you looked at yourself in it. You looked the same but you felt different. You heard laughter and took your attention away from your reflection.

"Well hi there!" You turned to face Rose. "You fucking bitch! You said it wouldn't hurt." The other woman had to stuff her bad temper in a sack and smiled as she knelt down to your level, brushing a piece of hair away from your eyes. "Well it doesn't now, does it sweetheart?"

'You can pull one over on your little boyfriend or the others, but not me. I don't go for people who lay it on thick,' You thought to yourself then shrugged. "I guess."

"Then there's no need to for us to act like a child, is there?" There was a hint of malice in her voice. You gave her a face as if to say 'I hate you' and Rose chuckled.

"It's okay. You'll feel better after you eat." She took your hand in hers and caressed the tops of them. "What's the matter?"

"Am I even a human anymore?" Rose offered you a cheeky grin. "Do you care?" The words were cold and had no feeling of comfort.

"I guess not." She patted your head. "Good. Now come. I have something special I want to show you."

You raised a brow. "What is it? Like a gift?" In the short amount of time you spent with Rose, you loved her smile but in that moment it sent chills up your spine.

"You'll see. Crow, help her up please." In a moment the dark haired man took your hand in his and swiftly swept you up off the ground.

The other members of The Knot were already back to their previous engagements and from the look on Rose's face, she seemed fine with that so you let it go.

She wrapped an arm around your waist and lead you forward towards the edge of the all too familiar woods.

"You know, I remember the last time I was here," You said, pretending to think. "You tried to murder me."

Rose smiled tightly and squeezed your sides. "Yeah well, no need to hold grudges over things to small."

"I don't know if I'd say killing trying to kill someone as something that everyone should just brush off." For a moment there was very awkward silence.

"Well you woke up in a pissed off mood, didn't you?" You shrugged. "Well after feeling like I was dying last night, wouldn't you feel the same in that situation?"

"It's a gift you should be grateful for, now close your eyes," She commanded. "Why?" You never exactly were fond of surprises.

"Because, it's a surprise," She answered like it was so obvious. "Yeah I know but I'm not so fond of the unexpected."

"Well, I guess it'll be my job to give you a sense of adventure." She smiled in a friendly manner and held a hand out to you, releasing her hold on your waist. "You know I wouldn't let anything hurt you, right?"

"Yeah, I know."

"Good. Now just keep them shut and follow me." Rose held your hand and lead you forward. "You'll let me know if there's a rock or something infront of me?"

"No, we'll just let you trip and break your face." There was a hint of sarcasm in Crow's tone and you could hear Rose slap his arm with her empty hand.

"Don't be an ass," She scolded. The further you went into the woods, the more it began to lose it's earthy smell and a more unearthly one began to set in.

"Now wait, wait! Don't open them yet. Now tilt your head down- No, not up! The other way! That's it now now open your eyes."

You hesitantly did as she asked and peeped both eyes open before letting out a gasp.

There was a boy laying on a ground in a situation much similar to the one you were in except their steam floating above him.

"Tada!" You narrowed your eyes and turned to look at Rose. "What the hell is this?"

"Honey, he's your 'welcome to family' present." She drew a knife out the pocket on her sweater and wrapped her arms around your waist.

"As you know, there are people out like us who have steam. People like us, the steamy ones, we're above the others. However, there is a chain involved. The hunter and the hunted."

She knelt down and took a jab at the child, a large whiff of steam floated into as a residual effect. "Pain purifies steam, fear too. That's why we took you before turning you, because you're so pure."

You shifted in discomfort, trying to move the steam away from you. "Their pain. Our gain. You can have as much as you want from him. All you have to do is take it."

She handed you the knife and you locked eyes with the boy and bit your lip. You didn't have to use your shine to know he just wanted it all to end.

You didn't consider yourself to be a sentimental person or one who restricted themselves from their vices but this was too much.

Eternal life or not, it was just wrong. You bit your lip and tried to reach out the boy with your shine to give any sort of comfort but all you could see was a wind storm of broken memories. "N-no!"

Rose's arrogant face turned shell shocked. "No?" You shook your head. "I-i can't..I just can't! Just look at him." She furrowed her brows in a way that almost made her lose her respective queen stature. "And?"

"And he's suffering! Just look at his face." The child let out a pained sob and you sat down next to him, making sure to keep a semi safe distance from Rose as you ran your fingers through his hair and shushed him.

Despite the hunger you were feeling from his steam, you felt the urge to pull him close and just take him back home.

"He's an innocent child! He doesn't deserve any of this. He didn't ask to be born this way or for people like us to be around. This is wrong! All of this is just so wrong!" You screamed and started sobbing. "It's not fair!"

"Honey, life's not fair. Do you think Andi over there at camp, wanted or planned on having the humanity literally fucked out of her? Shit happen sometimes. It's the same thing with livestock cows. They don't-"

"For fucks sake! This isn't a cow! It's a child. Call me silly, but I think a person has more value sentimentally and in life then a cow."

Rose's posture straightened like a board and her fair skin turned cherry red with lividness.

"Rosie-"

"Quiet, Crow Daddy! Now you're just being ridiculous, Y/n! I tried being nice but now you've pushed too far. One way or another, I will get you to give in and you will kill."

"No, I won't! What are you going to do? Kill me or spank me?" You taunted.

You knew you crossed the line but you wouldn't give in and even in that moment you revelled in getting Rose all riled up even if that meant your anxiety would go through the roof because of it.

Rose huffed and went to stand up from where she was kneeling on the ground but Crow grabbed her shoulders. "If you know what's good for you right now Crow, then you'll let go of me because now she needs to be punished."

"Rosie, if I let go of you right now you're going to kill her. No one needs to know you as long as I have to know that right now. It's blazing like fire in your eyes. Just breathe for a second."

"I'll breathe later. Just let me at her!" She shoved him away and stomped towards you but Crow grabbed her by her waist. "Rose, you're going to do something you regret."

"Regret, my ass!" She kicked him in the groin and he immediately released his grip on her. She took the knife out of your hand and pushed you down on the ground next to the kid.

"I'll show you how it's done." She raised the knife above her head and you expected it to come down plummeting down on you but instead it landed in the boy.

Blood splattered all your face and you screamed. "Rose, stop!" You begged and attempted to get the child away from her.

"No! Now you'll get to have a front row seat on his pain." She leaned forward to grab your wrist but you kicked away before running.

"Y/n, you bitch!" You heard radiating through the trees but you didn't care. Tied to them or not, you wanted out. Even if that meant death.

As you reached the bottom of the hill you stumbled over a tree stump and all that was heard by those nearby was a thump followed by a crack.

"Y/n?" Andi ran towards you. "Oww! Oww! Oww!" You screamed, looking at your broken ankle.

Meanwhile in the woods a very pissed off Crow Daddy struggled to get Rose off of her prey. "Baby..this is a little over board. I don't think there's any steam left in the kid at this point."

She ignored him for a couple of minutes, making stab after stab until she own hands were cut open from all the pressure she put on them. "They all give in at one point! I don't understand it. I could practically the yearning in her eyes!" Rose seethed, hysteria still in her eyes.

"I know but some take longer to adapt than others. Not everyone is like Barry and Andi." Rose thought back on the first time she seen the two harvesting steam.

Andi's especially was pure irony in her eyes. For a girl that could 'never hurt anyone' based off how innocent others perceived her as, she tore her victim apart limb by limb.

"What do we do if she doesn't give in? Just let her starve and cycle out?" She barked. "When she's ready to eat, she will. It wouldn't be the first time someone had a lapse of faith and we had to deal with it."

Rose sighed and Crow massaged her shoulders. "We'll figure that out when the time comes but for now just let her be."

Rose actually listened and nodded, wrapping her arms around him. "Where did she go when she ran?"

"I don't know. I couldn't keep track. I'm sure she's close by though." He rocked her back and forth gently in his arms.

"I should go to her." Crow shook his head. "You're shakey. You need to relax before talking to her. You both will feed off each others emotions and it won't end well."

"Stay with me until I calm down?" He nodded and held her close.

Meanwhile down at The True's campground you sat in Andi's trailer as she wrapped a bandage around your ankle.

The steam healed most of the fracture but there was still some soarness around the area of the crack. Normally, The True Knot never kept first aid kits around but Andi was glad she had one in this situation.

"..and that should be good," She hummed as she placed the last piece of medical tape on the gauze.

"Thanks, Andi." You sniffled and she gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "You're welcome hun."

She grabbed the towel laying at her side and began to scrub the blood off your face. "You want to talk about it?"

You shook your head and curled your knees close to your chest. "She's probably so mad at me right now," You whispered softly.

"Well, she'll learn to get over it. Rose is scary when she's mad but she can't stay mad forever." Andi paused for a moment and moved the towel away from your face. "How bad was it?"

"R-really bad." Your voice cracked and tears began to stream down your face. "Okay..okay." She held her arms out to you and you flung yourself into them.

"I'll never forget the look on that boys face!" Andi patted your back, trying her best to comfort you even though she hadn't felt a shred of sympathetic emotion in her in a long time. "I know."

"I should of stopped it. It's my fault!" Andi shook her head. "No, it's not your fault. It was inevitable. If it wasn't you that was going to hurt him, Crow or Rose would of."

"It just seems so wrong because I know what it feels like to be in pain and I mean yeah, others deserve to feel that same pain sometimes, but not a child."

Andi had to bite her tongue to keep from saying the first thing that came to mind. "Yeah but think of it, just a little bloodshed for a life long gain."

"It's a child, though. A child doesn't deserve that." She could say no more and pulled away from you. "Get some rest, okay? Maybe you'll feel a little better in the morning."

"Okay." Andi stood up and let you get all settled under her covers before opening the door to her trailer. "Hang in there, Y/n. I'll see you a little later."

"Bye, Andi." You grabbed one of her pillows and held it tightly against your chest, trying to relax yourself. 'You're such a damn fool to think of this would work, Y/n,' You thought to yourself as you stared at the walls.

Your eyes burned from all the crying you did and you felt so drained. You shut your eyes for a little bit, trying to just find yourself when you heard the door to the trailer open and shut again followed by a pause.

"Y/n?"

"Yeah, Rose?" She didn't have to look at you to know you were crying.

"I'm sorry." You turned your body to look at her. "About everything earlier..look, I don't want to make you do something you're uncomfortable with but harvesting steam is unavoidable."

"I know, I know..just give me time, okay?" You begged. "Maybe it's just because I'm not used to the bloodshed but I'm just not ready for it, yet. In all honesty, I might not be ready for it in a while."

Rose sat down across from you and took one of your hands off the pillow, holding it gently in her's. "That's fine. I just- You know what, it can wait."

"You're sure?" She ran a hand across your cheek, the bloodiness on it showing you the unholy deeds she did after you ran. "I'm sure."

Rose enveloped you in her arms, running her hands through your hair as if to reassure herself you were still there.

"Rose?"

"Yeah, Y/n?"

"I like you."

The older woman found a smile forming on her face and she placed a kiss against the top of your head. "I'm glad because I like you too, my patchwork doll."

You pulled away momentarily. "Patchwork?"

"Because you're such a pretty thing made out of horrible memories." You thought on her words for a moment and nodded. "I can live with that, being a patchwork doll."

Rose grinned and placed a kiss gently against your lips. "I love you," You told her with such honesty gleaming in your eyes.

"I do too." She smiled and held you close for a long time. For the first time in a long time, despite all the blood and violence, you felt at home. You were home.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Back in time? Jimmy: he ain't even back yet Jimmy: I'm fucked off beyond belief Janis: 'Course he ain't Janis: 😑 Jimmy: good thing I am 'cause there weren't nowt for Cass to make for tea but don't worry dad Janis: What a prick Janis: so little satisfaction in sorting it and being the perfect son when he's not even gonna be sorry/care Jimmy: least I can win big brother points Janis: 👍 Janis: What really counts tbh Jimmy: I've sent her for chips and whatever else she can get her grubbies on so 🥇 Jimmy: what you doing? Janis: Nice one Janis: Not a whole lot, still chilling down in the barn 'cos know I'll have to chat to someone about some irrelevant shit if I go in Jimmy: it is decent in there but it's shit that you aren't here Jimmy: 'cause you could be & that's what pisses me off Janis: I know, wish I was Janis: could go for some chips right now, like Jimmy: get a lift? Jimmy: your massive family gotta have some uses Janis: 😏 Not totally about the chips, babe Janis: am hungry though Jimmy: I'll get you different food if it's a dealbreaker Jimmy: you know you wanna watch a 12 & 6 year old fight over the remote Jimmy: like they ain't been inside all day Janis: Bless 'em Janis: Better than having to watch a 15 & 16 year old though like, go in a different room you privileged fucks, you really need the 'big' TV #exposed #thankslads Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: I'm gonna have to take 'em to the park or whatever tomorrow 'cause it's bollocks Jimmy: that's your invite Jimmy: help me milk my sickie Jimmy: fuck knows when I'll get a full day off again Janis: Sure, long as my lady love's got hers too, like Jimmy: she won't leave me alone so yeah Jimmy: must smell like you or summat Janis: 😍 Janis: least she weren't there to watch, she woulda defs gone for you #nohope Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: the audience you really want Janis: nah, get enough of that with the cats lurking like creepy fucks Jimmy: if you noticed them hanging 'bout then 💔 'cause I was clearly shit at keeping your attention Jimmy: gutted Janis: I didn't Janis: You know you weren't Jimmy: I know you weren't Janis: 😳 Jimmy: think of somewhere you wanna go tomorrow, yeah? Jimmy: fun shit Jimmy: even if it ain't #goals Janis: I'll think on Janis: What kinda shit are the kiddos about? Jimmy: whinging Jimmy: nah but for real Cass is into all kinds of shit as long as it ain't the kind of shit your sister likes Jimmy: easy pickings for you there Janis: What about Malahide? they've got the castle and all that but if that ain't up to scratch, day at the beach Janis: even I wouldn't complain, like Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: that's actually a really decent idea Jimmy: I should have enough money for the train knocking 'bout Janis: If you like, I can cadge a life from one of my not-as-shit siblings, literally quadruple the time on the train, which is alright if we gotta but if we don't, result Jimmy: I wouldn't complain Jimmy: the dog'll be enough of a nightmare as is Janis: Poor baby Janis: she can sit on my lap Jimmy: if you sit on mine she ain't Jimmy: not her fault she's never been nowhere though Janis: firstly 😍 Janis: secondly, it don't matter if she's badly behave, my brother will take us in his hippie van so she can walk about more Janis: hopefully the kids don't get a contact high like soz but it'll chill 'em out so 🤷 Jimmy: least he won't be a brother I have to worry about fighting me then Janis: 😂 God no Janis: none of my brothers are harder than me and that's that on that Janis: he might chat to you on some weird shit you have no interest in but that's about your lot, it'll be fine Jimmy: firstly 😍 & secondly also 😍😍 Jimmy: stop being hot & not here it's a bit rude Janis: I know, right? Janis: Take it up with your Dad tbh but don't 'cos bigger sins and 🖕 Jimmy: any chance your brother can also bring you here now? Janis: So Igs, I have a dick appointment... Janis: 😏 Jimmy: if he's chill he's chill, yeah Jimmy: don't make the rules Janis: If you want me DOA 'cos shame 😳 Jimmy: You won't remember it in a bit Janis: So tempting Jimmy: so be tempted Jimmy: go on Janis: You just left Janis: but I've not stopped thinking about you Jimmy: alright then come back Jimmy: I'm thinking about you right now Janis: Fuck...okay but I can fully hide in your room if your Dad comes back, yeah? Jimmy: fuck him Jimmy: he don't matter Janis: I don't wanna get you in trouble though, actual trouble Jimmy: you won't Jimmy: if he wants to start shit that's him Janis: Okay, coming over Janis: track someone down to tell I'm still alive, like Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: I need to shower do you want me to wait for you so we can do it together? Janis: Wait Janis: I want that Jimmy: doing my bit for the water bill Jimmy: my dad can't say shit Janis: Definitely start your argument there, babe Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: tah Jimmy: don't wanna talk to him but if I gotta Janis: Well he's the one that fucked up today so what's he gonna say really Jimmy: 🙄 loads probably Janis: 😒 Janis: I'm gonna distract you though Jimmy: you'll get through the door see the 🐶 and only have eyes for her Janis: I mean, she is pretty demanding but nah Janis: you got my full attention right now Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: I want it Janis: Thank fuck Janis: be awkward if you didn't now Jimmy: I did reckon that maybe I'd get it out of my system and be like Janet who? but Jimmy: I weren't ready to go yet Janis: 😑 Janis: Got a day or so left in us then you reckon? Jimmy: 🤞 Jimmy: if you don't take me somewhere shit tomorrow I'll give you another day, only fair Janis: 👍 oh tah Janis: dickhead 😏 Jimmy: for real though, it made me want you more Jimmy: that's weird, isn't it? Janis: is it? Jimmy: I didn't reckon I could Jimmy: but you were just Janis: I'm glad I didn't disappoint Janis: 'cos I want more of you too Jimmy: piss off would you Jimmy: not to be all 😍 but 😍 Janis: 💪 Janis: 'course not Jimmy: You know what you were & it weren't disappointing Janis: You're cute Jimmy: alright shut up Janis: Nah Janis: gonna have to wait and make me cutie Jimmy: you're gonna make me 😳 Jimmy: stop Janis: 🤤 Jimmy: how long can I let my sister be out getting food before I reckon she's been snatched? asking for a friend Janis: I think you've got a while yet Janis: I'll let you know when you can worry Janis: got her phone, yeah? Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: glued to it more than we are Janis: practically born with one these days Jimmy: can't blame her she had loads of mates back home Janis: yeah, must miss them loads Janis: least it ain't too hard to get back, when she's a bit older, like Jimmy: fuck knows where any of us will be this time next week the way my dad carries on Jimmy: he's gotta be with someone right now 'cause he ain't here Janis: true Janis: most likely, coulda at the literal least text Jimmy: I know he ain't got loads of mates Jimmy: must be busy, don't wanna think about it 'cause how ungoals Jimmy: what's the opposite of 😍 Janis: 🤢 Janis: Basically Janis: doesn't put me in the mood either don't worry Jimmy: I take back what I said before, that's the hottest thing you've ever said to me 💕 Jimmy: save me from the repeated history Janis: 😂 Janis: I can tell you all about how unattractive I find him if that works, easy Jimmy: don't think 'bout him if it's such a turn off, only gives me more work to do Janis: Don't be a slacker, babe 😏 Jimmy: never even faked it Janis: 💪 Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: I'll allow it Janis: I felt it Jimmy: I still feel it Jimmy: you Janis: You're killing me Jimmy: I don't wanna make it weird but Janis: ? Jimmy: I don't know just Jimmy: it's not been like that for me before Jimmy: all the 'shade' to my ex maybe Janis: I feel it too Janis: so not weird, just us usual at this point Jimmy: I really can't stop thinking about you, I know I already said it Janis: I know, I seriously can't Janis: and like Janis: give a shit about judgment that ain't why I'm saying it Janis: but I don't do things like this, this quick, usually, you know but I just Janis: wanted to so bad Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: me either, for all my chat Janis: Yeah? Janis: makes me feel better, like, it was happening regardless but I was a bit worried you'd notice Jimmy: there have been other girls, scattered about but I've only had the one girlfriend Jimmy: & you know how that went Janis: Yeah Janis: can't help being so youthful Jimmy: & we were mates first for ages it wasn't like this Janis: Makes sense Janis: I'm a casual billy no mates as well all know though so 🤷 Jimmy: me too Jimmy: we did try and be mates after but it never quite happened Jimmy: Barry's #influence Janis: Jealous type? Jimmy: not that simple but let's say it is Janis: Fair enough Jimmy: there was just a lot of shit happening & not Jimmy: for all of us Jimmy: how fucking cryptic, am I a paddy now or what? Janis: 🍀 getting so acclimatized babe Janis: but seriously, you don't owe me nothing if you don't wanna talk on shit, it's cool Jimmy: I know Jimmy: You're just Jimmy: easy to talk to? or I like it whatever Janis: I like talking to you and all Janis: I know I don't say loads (or do I? #chatty) but I barely talk to my own fam never mind anyone else so believe me like Janis: you're honoured, is what I'm saying Jimmy: can't get a word in, can you? Jimmy: I'm that dickhead Jimmy: I don't know it's like rule 1 of this new roof is there was no before & alright but Jimmy: there was Janis: Nah, if you were you'd be too much like my Sister and there's no way I'd have even fake kissed you never mind really fucked you Janis: sometimes you wanna talk about that shit Janis: it don't always stay before, good or bad Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻🎻 like Jimmy: I'm shutting up now Jimmy: Take a turn, girl Janis: You don't have to but alright Janis: what you wanna know Jimmy: only what you wanna tell me Jimmy: I'm not here to dig Janis: hmm Janis: okay Janis: don't be weird, yeah, usual rules Jimmy: 👌 Janis: It's weird because I didn't want to tell anyone about it or talk about it before but now it's happened I kinda do but also, there's still no one I would wanna but you really so Janis: that was my first time, like, proper sex Jimmy: well now I'm glad I didn't disappoint Jimmy: shit Jimmy: I'd have never have reckoned that Janis: That was the plan Janis: to not let on, not 'cos I don't trust you or nothing but idk, why make it a big deal but Janis: there you go Jimmy: you could've told me Jimmy: I probably wouldn't do anything different 'cause you know Jimmy: but I don't know, I'm just saying, you can tell me shit from now on if you want Janis: I don't know, people get in your head about that shit, don't they, like everyone says first times are crap but if you didn't know then you wouldn't be different and it didn't have to be Janis: and it really weren't Janis: so, thanks, yeah? 😉 Jimmy: Goddamn it, Jillian, stop trying to make me fall in love with you Jimmy: how do you take your first time at anything and just fucking 🥇 Jimmy: bit rude Janis: You ain't mad about it Janis: team, remember Jimmy: I'm like in #awe Janis: Shh 😌 Jimmy: sort of wish I could tell everyone so I could big you up how you deserve Jimmy: won't though Janis: People reckon they know anyway 'cos obviously if some dickhead from School ain't bragging about swiping my Vs to everyone it couldn't have happened Janis: dunno how #goals everyone would rate that but I appreciate Jimmy: 🙄🙄 Jimmy: it'd get twisted so like I said, I won't but 🥇 seriously Janis: 😍 Jimmy: how far away are you? Janis: Under 10 minutes Jimmy: Cass is back, I'll fight her for your share of food Jimmy: what could be more #goals Jimmy: get a boyfriend who'd smack down a 12 year old girl he's related to for you Janis: 😂 Janis: My hero, truly Jimmy: I don't even know how you like your chips Jimmy: probably some weird way Janis: Lemme guess, gravy Jimmy: say something snide, you can't Jimmy: it's good Janis: 😏 just that you're an absolute stereotype Janis: but I seriously ain't fussy, when you've got a Dad who insists on doing needlessly fancy shit to everything, it's good to just have some straight up junk Jimmy: peas are good too Jimmy: there's loads of shit here anyway Jimmy: remind me not to give my sister money again Janis: 💸💸💸 Janis: I'll try it your way, impress me, boy Jimmy: if I don't with the food, I'll do it after Janis: You better Jimmy: have I been all chat even once? nah Janis: that's why I like you Janis: no bullshit Jimmy: so you can believe me when I say shit first time is a myth but it does get better the more you do it Janis: I will, even if that sounds like a ploy to get me to fuck you more Janis: not mad Jimmy: maybe it is Jimmy: a bit Jimmy: but I still think we can make it true too Janis: 'course we can Janis: as long as I wasn't awful, hence I had to check before or you'd feel like you had to be nice, like Jimmy: don't sound like me Jimmy: you got the right boy? Janis: If I ain't don't tell him Janis: you sound hot Jimmy: [sends selfie] I am Jimmy: you have kissed lads before though? you're not gonna tell me that you just smashed that 🥇 too, are you? Janis: DAMN Janis: better make that my phone background asap 'cos #boydonegood Janis: nah, I've kissed lads Janis: not loads and like I said, it sucked every time but Jimmy: thank feck for that Jimmy: not that it sucked but they exist Janis: Why? Janis: Can't deal with me being THAT good? 😏 Jimmy: nah I can't Janis: 😂 Janis: I'm glad I had though or I might not have agreed to our deal Janis: I felt nothing but I knew they liked it, so it'd be alright Jimmy: did they ALL fall for you or just me? Janis: One of them unlikely as he's a massive prick who's rode every girl in his School and most at ours Janis: then the other was a kid in Brazil because we always go back to where my Dad's fam is from so I saw him a lot when we used to go back more Janis: maybe but you know, years ago now Jimmy: he so did Jimmy: just thinking about kissing you Jimmy: you know what it makes me feel like Janis: Tell me though Jimmy: I don't even know how to Jimmy: it just sounds like bollocks but its not Janis: I believe you Jimmy: I wish we could stay in all day tomorrow Jimmy: but I can't be that dickhead Janis: We've got time Janis: however long we wanna Janis: not going anywhere yet Jimmy: I believe you Janis: Good Janis: You're making this holiday bearable, hell, this fucking town right now Jimmy: I don't have to say likewise Jimmy: even before when it was meant to be only fake bearable Janis: Yeah Janis: You're just better than everyone else here, that's facts regardlesss of what we're doing Janis: I should've found that out sooner but whatever Jimmy: like you said, we've got time Jimmy: when you get here stay outside for a bit, I know it's probably gonna piss down but I want Jimmy: I wanna just be alone without kids and fucking dogs & dads that might appear or not whenever Janis: Okay Janis: I want that too Janis: we're showering anyway Jimmy: & I'll keep your chips warm for you, I'm not an animal Janis: 💕 Jimmy: gimme a phone background Janis: [Cute selfie which we should defs find for each other 'cos yas] Jimmy: 👌 now I really wanna be alone Jimmy: so what you've just been walking around looking like that? bit rude Janis: Who do I think I am, honestly? Janis: Getting off the bus though, if you see me, don't let me go to the wrong house for a laugh, tah Jimmy: Hang on, what's your name again, Jasmine Canvas? summat like that Janis: 🙄 you wish, art hoe Jimmy: me? yeah alright Jimmy: you & your flair Janis: I won't apologise for being #inspired Janis: get you some concealer from gracie if CG gets mad about it Jimmy: I won't say soz for how much I've touched it since Jimmy: or cover it up for them dickheads Jimmy: what did you say before? Can't censor #art Janis: When it fades I'll give you another one Janis: so you remember just how much I want you Jimmy: I'm not gonna let myself forget Jimmy: or you Janis: I don't plan on letting you either Janis: but giving you one every time we screw might be a bit excessive Janis: don't wanna leave you that sore, poor boy Jimmy: just cover me tonight it's not gonna be topless weather at the beach even if I am that northern Janis: How can I refuse such an offer? 😍 Jimmy: you can't Jimmy: but I don't want you to Jimmy: I just want you until we have to crash Janis: Give me some too? Janis: I like them Jimmy: how can I refuse? not gonna Janis: You're fun Janis: and hot Janis: I really really like fucking with you Jimmy: 😳 Jimmy: it was fun that really got me Jimmy: fuck knows when I was last called that Janis: You are Janis: people are idiots Jimmy: we're both dickheads Jimmy: & I like you Janis: Backatcha Janis: See yours, come out and kiss me please Jimmy: I was about to ask where the fuck you were Janis: Shut up, I didn't get lost or nothing, you kept distracting me, as per Jimmy: you shut up, saying please when you know it kills me Janis: 😈 Jimmy: how do you look so Jimmy: who looks good in the rain? piss off Janis: 😏 and people reckon i'm unbearable now, keep giving me compliments imma be so bad Jimmy: Nah? I'm so mad at you Jimmy: Can't you tell Janis: 😞 Janis: can't you see this pout Jimmy: [kisses her by biting the pouty lip and pulling it in 'cause how dare she be so cute bye] Janis: [Makes noises 'cos gotta be quieter inside and also damn boy] Janis: still mad? Jimmy: Maybe Janis: Do what you gotta do 'til you ain't, I'm ready Janis: challenge accepted Jimmy: [keeps kissing her 'cause they extra] Janis: am I staying the night? Jimmy: yeah Janis: Good Janis: reluctantly go in now then Jimmy: would you have come all this way just to kiss me? Janis: 😶😳 Jimmy: then we can't go in yet Jimmy: [more kisses 'cause he's swooning bitch] Janis: I want to kiss you all the fucking time Jimmy: go on Janis: [Kisses first to end him] Jimmy: [Gotta give her a loud reaction back 'cause she's earning it] Janis: Fucking hell baby Janis: that ws the best thing I've ever heard Jimmy: if you wanna hear it again you know what to do Jimmy: whenever Janis: I don't wanna hear anything else Jimmy: but I've gotta let you get a word or sound in sometimes Jimmy: if only for me Janis: only for you Janis: fuck I'm so wet can we eat later or is that so anti-social and rude Jimmy: we can Jimmy: Cass & Bobby eat the speed of light, they were basically done before you got here Janis: I promise to be good and social and everything we need to be later Jimmy: I'm not asking for nowt Jimmy: you're here, I got what I wanted Janis: not yet you didn't Jimmy: alright yeah Jimmy: so come on Janis: 😍 Jimmy: [Hand holding to go inside, making Winnie's dream's come true]

[notjustanotherruka]

National Coming Out Day

Written October 11th, 2017

30 years ago today, there was a march on Washington, DC, consisting of gay/queer activists wanting to make issues and awareness known. The biggest march, with the highest attendance, and the largest scope, ever. Wowza. Kind of a big deal... and by "kinda", I mean "holy shit". 😧 I've also come to realize that quite a few of the LGBTQ and supporters as a whole don't know that information about this day. I've read a lot of posts and articles already today about people's coming out stories, being proud of being out, supporting those around them - their hope, struggles, pride, and individualism... I've also read a handful of storys about why this day shouldn't exist. A couple were hard to read; a couple resonated with me. I went for a run, thought it over, and I decided I wanted to share a memory. A little story, if you will.

My prequel coming out story. And why this day is important.

What the hell is a coming out story? The first time you have realization of how your mind and body might operate differently from those around you? Finally putting a label on it? Kissing your first same-sex person? Dating? Telling someone how you identify for the first time? Sex? //gooood lawd, already I have like... 15 coming out stories. 😂 Ain't nobody got time for that right now. I'll just pick one, thanks. //

1999. I was 11? 12. Whatever, math is hard. Sixth grade. Band nerd, choir nerd, bookworm, teachers pet, student council prez, avid Pokémon and Magic the Gathering player, Nintendo fiend. I was the kid who liked everyone, and everyone liked me. I wasn't super close with a ton of people, but I was easy to be around and I think other kids liked that. I also knew I didn't like boys; I'd known that for a long time. Still, I didn't think that meant anything other than books>boys. //lemme preface that I still feel that way, only it's books>most people bc well, people are silly sometimes. Books are forever. // Anywho, I got in my head that there was something I longed for. Dreamed about. Gushed over, and fantasized about. I couldn't stop. I couldn't get it out of my head, and when I finally got the point where I couldn't take it anymore, I decided I had to tell my mom.

I wanted a perm.

I wanted a perm so bad. SO BAD. I could smell the perm smell. I could feel those curly, dark locks and I could picture the cute looks I was going to rock so hard. I wanted somewhere between Jessi Spano of Saved By the Bell and Janet Jackson's Relvet Rope album cover, and damn it, nothing was going to stop me. My mother wasn't so optimistic. Whatever. I begged. I begged better than anyone had, or has since, ever begged in the history of time itself. And FINALLY... I got my appointment. YAS.

You guys. It. Was.

Amazing.

I strutted outta that salon feeling like four weeks of allowance. It was perfect. My hair was so long that after the perm, the curls fell right at the middle of my back, and the lady had even made them cute and crunchy for me. // you know what I'm talking about. Like, crunchy. You know. // I went home knowing I was going to need to set aside at least four hours to decide what I was going to wear the next day. My mom took my picture on the back deck, and I'm not kidding - I seriously considered ruining the rest of the 110mm film in the roll so that I could go to walmart and have them developed. // Eh, hindsight is 20/20. It would have taken 5 days to get them back. It's film, people. // I was on cloud 9 when my head hit the pillow that night. I'm pretty sure I WAS Jessi in my dreams. Tomorrow was going to be Glorious.

Morning sun. Outfit selected. Towel in hand. Shower. Smiling in the mirror as I got ready to make these curls as cool as I felt. I'll just give them a good brush, and... ...the brush didn't move. 😐 I couldn't even get my fingers through it. I started to sweat. My super thick, super long, super dark, gorgeous hair was now a bird's wet dream for house building. Fudge. //jsyk, my 6th grade self was totally saying fuck over and over again. Also, again hindsight is 20/20, and go figure... maaaaybe my mom wasn't wrong. Notice how I didn't say she was right, buuuut. You know. Moms. //

So the perm was a disaster. Of course it was. My solution for the next six months ended up being massive amounts of Biologe conditioner, and then leaving in the Biologe conditioner. // notice how I didn't say I used 'leave-in' conditioner; I literally LEFT IN the conditioner. Whatever. It worked. And I got the crunchy look without a ton of other products. Win/win? 🙄// Anywho, six long months of that bullshit until finally my hair had grown out enough that I could think about getting it cut and starting over. Mom helped me make the appointment, and the locks ended up being gone. Phew. Sweet, sweet relief.

I'd never had hair that short. My sister had, bc she played soccer and it was just easier for her to have that cute, sports girl hair. I had always had super long hair. Always. It took me a few minutes to decide whether I wanted to cry or celebrate the liberation of my neck and scalp. I decided to celebrate. Short hair was pretty cool. School was different too. Everyone we so surprised, but responded really well! I had a hang out date with my best guy friend after school too, so hey - it ended being a good first day of short hair!

I walked to my friends house. I hadn't had time to hang with him all day. He was an eighth grader, so you know, life's busy when you're old. Finally got to his house, tossed down my bag, and sat on the steps how we always sat. We started talking, and he stopped all of a sudden. With a quizzical look, he stated, "Seriously, your hair kinda makes you look like a dike."

I punched him. Square in the nose. Blood everywhere. I didn't even know what that meant, but I didn't like how it felt or the way he said it. I didn't even grab my bag, i just started stomping home. Fuming and crying, I don't even really remember the mile long walk. My dad was sitting in his chair when I got home, and he asked what was wrong. I didn't answer, but he saw the blood on my hand and asked if I was ok. I told him someone had called me a name and I punched him for it. My dad tried not to laugh and said that wasn't nice to call me names, and he was glad I stood up for myself... but maybe not to punch people. Fine. I needed to get outta this convo to get to the computer anyway.

Dike : something about water and a wall or spillway or the sea... what the hecks. Yikes, maybe I shouldn't have punched him. Why the hell did he call me this? Next search : Dike hair. Huh. // ...much like my mother, this kid ALSO hadn't been wrong. My hair was this hair. But the spelling was off. Dyke. Also, the word 'lesbian' kept coming up. //

Next search. Lesbian. Women who like and date other women. // lezbehonest, there were OTHER sites that popped up too, but I knew better than to click on them. #goodkid // Women who date women. Girls who like girls. Girls who don't like boys like that. Omg. This... this made sense. It explained why I had such a crush on my third grade teacher. It made sense why I liked playing Pokémon with my girl friend versus my guy friend. It made sense why I had ZERO inclination to ever KISS a boy. The thought wasn't gross. It was WRONG. UGH. //keep in mind, I was 11. These are the things I remember vividly as the connecting pieces to finally having a name to call my feelings. I can already hear someone ripping this to shreds about how these aren't true indications of human sexuality, blah blah blah... whatever. Go die grumpy about it; this is my story. //

I felt enlightenment. I felt clarity. I felt like I was ok. I could be ok. There were other people like me that didn't like boys, and they were older, so that means maybe if I still don't like boys later... I can like girls. And it can be ok. That was the first time ever feeling that way.

It's October 11, 2017. 30 years ago, a lot of really cool people marched, and one direct effect it had on me was this: I could be told I looked like a dyke. I could research what that was. I could find answers and clarity and not feel alone. They marched for awareness and rights, and bc of that, information was made available to me. My story is part of their story, and it helped mold my Coming Out Story, Vol. 1.

Pretty fucking cool. Also, you never know what might happen as aftermath of an action, so maybe just...

get the perm. ✌🏼