#and i'm also so insanely unhappy with uni i don't know how to deal with it
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#ive been going through it again and idk why every time i try to get help it backfires and makes me feel worse again#finally managed to make a call for my diagnosis again but there's no appointments available this year and#instead of having a waitlist they want me to call again in fall#which great#chances are i will forget because of#the very disability i am trying to get treated#and i'm also so insanely unhappy with uni i don't know how to deal with it#i also miss my friends but i feel bad contacting them because i have been unintentionally ghosting some for years#i'm not good at holding conversations online and idk man i love you all but i keep forgetting and feel bad about it and its a never ending#cycle of dread and anxiety#i don't blame people if they think i'm annoying either but id love to not feel like that about every connection i make#no matter who i talk to i always feel like they hate me now and its tiring#don't mind me crying because i can't tell some of the people i appreciate the most in my life that i miss them#personal#rant#ignore me
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