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#and i'm so sorry for the long gap between chapters 10 and 11
kingdaddydaichi · 4 months
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the LONG overdue 11th chapter of "redefining" is almost done 👉🏼👈🏼 it should be ready to post tomorrow night at the latest...
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wardenparker · 8 months
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The Viper's Bride - ch 15
Oberyn Martell x female reader x Ellaria Sand x OC Co-written with @absurdthirst
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The second Prince of Dorne has lived under the illusion that he would not be forced to wed for his entire life. He has enough lovers and illegitimate children to make him a legend across Westeros, and the love of his soulmate Ellaria Sand to content him. But a contract between his brother and a lord from the north will catapult him into a match that may prove to be as complicated as it is intriguing. Especially when he learns that you already have a soulmate of your own.
Rating: Mature, but as always this blog is 18+ Word Count: 11.4k Warnings: *Blanket warnings for this series: terrible parents, age gap 10+ years, arranged marriage, classicism, cursing, food and alcohol, internalized homophobia. Reader is described as having hair long enough to braid. This is a MMFFF polycule, folx. Get on board or don't click to keep reading. Pregnancy!* Talk of previous grievances, incest reference (Lannisters gonna Lannister), blink and you'll miss it mention of homelessness. As always, there is sexy talk. It is Oberyn, after all. Summary: The day before Oberyn is to represent Tyrion in the Trial by Combat, your extended and elaborate family comes together to celebrate in anticipation of the fight. Notes: First up, I'm working extra shifts and even though it's my dream job I'm tired y'all 😂 so sorry for any errors I missed. But also! We're almost at the end here, folx! We'll have one more chapter after this and then the epilogue. Thank you all so much for sticking around to watch this polycule grow!
Ch 1 ~ Ch 2 ~ Ch 3 ~ Ch 4 ~ Ch 5 ~ Ch 6 ~ Ch 7 ~ Ch 8 ~ Ch 9 ~ Ch 10 ~ Ch 11 ~ Ch 12 ~ Ch 13 ~ Ch 14
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It is three days before the Mountain arrives in King’s Landing. The Trial by Combat had been announced throughout the capital on the day it was agreed and the days since had been dedicated to the building of a great arena for the event. Every noble in the keep thought of it as no more than sport — every noble except the members of your party and Tyrion Lannister himself, who all had far more at stake. For the group of you, the days of anticipation have been agony.
“They are simply playing a game.” Oberyn hisses, standing in nothing but his breeches as he sharpens the spear he wishes to take into the ring. He’s already discarded several, broken in training, though he is now resting until the time where he faces Gregor. “Wishing to gain the upper hand by delaying, thinking I will become impatient.” He scoffs. “As if I have not waited years for this.”
“They have no idea of your true determination, lover.” Ellaria has seen so many shades and versions of this need for revenge that no part of it could surprise her anymore. She knows it could have been the singular focus that drive him mad, and that it is oddly fortunate that he escaped that fate.
“They do not know me or the Dornish need for justice.” He muses grimly. “They will discover it, publicly.”
“And then we will be rid of this place.” You have Margaery’s hand in yours as the two of you sit on the nearby chaise together, and you squeeze it gently in your fingers. It has only been a few days but the news of her marriage to the new Dornish lord had caused an outpouring of sentiment against her family and her specifically. Thankfully, Olenna Tyrell seemed more amused by it than anything and promised her granddaughter that they would all forget when the next scandal broke.
“I am looking forward to seeing Dorne.” She admits as she glances over to where Raeden is sprawled with Ellaria on another chaise. “I have heard about it and wish to marvel at its bright beauty myself. Especially the Water Gardens.”
“You could have your honeymoon there,” Ellaria suggests, leaning over to kiss Raeden and glad to talk about something other than tomorrow’s fight. “Locked up in your rooms fucking to your heart’s content until you are full of your lord’s babe, and then you can rest in the Gardens for all your pregnancy.”
“Perhaps I can also sample the prince’s cock once I am carrying Raeden’s heir.” She wears a small smirk as she greedily watches the lean lines of the older man. She’s sucked his cock, several times, but like Raeden with you, he would not risk her husband’s true heir being called into question.
“I would very much like to watch that,” you hum, turning your head to nip at her neck and pulling the younger woman into your lap. The two of you have become much closer in just a few days, much to the delight of your husbands.
“I will be very eager to sample your cunt.” Oberyn chuckles, looking up from his spear. “Although tonight.” He grunts, his eyes dark and lusty when he looks at Raeden. “I want to have your husband tonight.”
The statement hangs in the air between all of you, and Raeden is the first to nod. “You will. You will have me.”
It has been a long time coming, Margaery knows this, even with as short a time as she has been tangled in this group. Not once has she felt slighted because she does not bear any marks on her skin from the four of you. “It will be a night to celebrate.” She decides. “In anticipation of your victory.”
“You will witness true victory tomorrow.” Ellaria agrees, fire in her eyes as she gazes up at Oberyn. “They all will.”
He’s sure of himself, almost to the point of brashness, but he has also commanded his own company with the Second Sons. Survived the fighting pits and his reputation was well earned. Still, he is grateful for the support of his soulmates and his lovers. “Yes they will.”
“We should feast tonight.” The idea had formed in your mind yesterday and lingered, something that you have learned to pay attention to. The idea that it could – however unlikely he seems to think the possibility – be your last night with your husband makes you want to sob like you have just heard the news that he would be champion all over again.
Oberyn turns towards you, watching you for a moment before he nods. “Get dressed, Princess.” He decides. “You and I will go to the market and order our feast.”
There is no reason to point out that Cal or Leyth could easily see the Dornishman in the market. Everyone here knows that. But he wants to spend time with you, and you want more than anything to hold his arm while you walk and pretend it is simply a normal day. “I will only take a few minutes,” you promise him, pulling yourself up off the chaise and away from a reluctant-to-let-go Margaery.
“Take your time.” He smirks. “Wear something beautiful.” He wants you to be seen, wants to be seen with you. Firmly believing appearances can affect the memory of the day.
“I have just the thing.” Enough weeks had passed in the Capitol that you had been able to order gowns from a dressmaker with knowledge of Dornish fashion, and you had intended to save it for your arrival in your new home, but this seems far more important. You disappear into the next room to extract it from your trunk with a smile. Oberyn will be quite surprised.
Oberyn sets the spear down and walks over to the table that has a bowl of clean water with soap and cloths next to it. As much sex as everyone has been indulging in, it had seemed prudent to keep the water on hand. He starts to bathe his chest, sweaty from the day and wishing to freshen up while he waits.
The group of you have all packed. Determined to leave King’s Landing in just two days’ time, most things have been put away for the journey. What is left to amuse yourselves with is sex, books from the keep’s library — and usually more sex. The difference is only when Oberyn and Raeden are in the practice ring, but when they return they are usually ravenous for company.
It takes little more than ten minutes for you to emerge from the chamber in the gown that you had carefully selected the colors and fabrics of weeks earlier — gold trim making the colors of fire seem to dance with every step you take. The sheer outer layer sparkles and shines, and the layer underneath flows while still showing off your figure. It preserves that feeling of modesty that you are accustomed to with significantly less fabric and a form unmistakably Dornish flare. Even your slippers are more like the ones Ellaria wears each day, leather platforms tying halfway up your calves with amber lacing. “Are you ready, my prince?”
“Star.” Oberyn’s eyes widen and he groans as he takes in your appearance. “I will have to wear my sword so no one could try to steal you from me.” He hums, cock twitching in his breeches. “The seamstress who made this for you deserves every coin you paid her and then a hefty sum.”
"There are others," you promise him, glad to see the light in his eyes even over something as simple as a dress. "I gave her double her fee when I saw how fine the work was. Do you...do you truly like it? I know you have said many times that you wished I wore more Dornish style gowns."
“If I could show you now how much I like it, we would not feast tonight.” He growls, fingers tracing over your bare shoulder and sighing softly at your softness.
"You will show me later." Later, when he has all of you at his beck and call for whatever it is he might desire. But for now you take his hand and kiss his palm tenderly. "Let us go and walk. We will show the capitol that Dorne is not afraid."
“That’s my girl.” He curls his arm up and wraps your hand around it, looking at Margaery, Raeden and Ellaria. “We will be back. And I will want all of us in bed. So make sure you do not tire yourselves out.” He chuckles.
"I swear it," Ellaria chuckles, with one hand over her heart. "I will teach our newlyweds about edging if they need attention."
Margaery tilts her head curiously and smirks at Ellaria. “What is that?” She asks innocently.
The chuckle turns to a throaty, pleased laugh, and Ellaria sits up to kiss Oberyn before bringing Margaery into her arms. "Go and enjoy yourself, lover," she tells him with a lascivious grin. "We will be well occupied here."
“Come, Star.” Oberyn smiles as he guides you out of the chambers and immediately runs into one of Cersei’s servants. “Splendid.” He hums, leaning into the girl. “More water is needed.” He tells her. “There will be an orgy in these rooms tonight.”
She looks positively affronted by the notion but nods nervously, scurrying away as fast as her feet will carry her. "I suppose it does not matter that Cal could easily have fetched our water?" You ask, raising one eyebrow at him as you continue down the hallway. "You would far rather that it get back to Cersei's ears."
“Absolutely.” He chuckles and starts the slow, unconcerned stroll with you towards the front doors of the Keep. “She will either stay far away or have to come interrupt. Either way, I will now that she is wondering who is in the chambers moaning.”
"Whomever we want to be." A few months into your arrangement - and your marriage - it is safe to say that you are far more comfortable with yourself and with sex than ever before. "And that bothers her, too."
“I would like Cal and Leyth with us tonight, my love.” He ventures, patting your hand. “Do you have any objections? Only if they wish to join.” He won’t force them to, of course. He wouldn’t do that, but he wants to touch them again and tonight seems to be a fine night to do so.
"No objections at all." He could ask you for the moon and you would only tell him that you need to find a ladder tall enough. "They have missed being invited to your bed."
“As long as you are comfortable with it.” There has been plenty to keep him occupied and satisfied throughout the last weeks, especially discovering the relationship with you, so he had not ventured to invite anyone else.
“My love,” you squeeze his arm gently under your hand as you walk together. “There is very little you could ask for tonight that I would hesitate to grant you. I hope you understand that.”
Exiting the keep, Oberyn is quiet for a little while, thinking of what he wishes to say. It is only when the crowds begin to gather, farther away from the castle does he begin. “My love,” he sighs softly. “I have sent word to my brother.” He tells you. “Informing him of our valid marriage and my expectant heir.”
“That is good.” Once, he had thought to breeze into Sunspear and amuse himself with informing Doran of what was technically your elopement. The fact that he has done otherwise is sobering, but somehow comforting in its realism. “I am sure he will be very glad of the news when it arrives, considering how upset you were when you left Dorne.”
“Word would have already reached him.” He tells you quietly. “I sent a raven the day I took on being Tyrion’s champion.” He admits, looking past the merchants stalls as they come into view towards the harbor. “I also made sure that Raeden’s house is secure. My brother would do right by him.”
“Thank you, my love. I know it means the world to him.” It sounds as though Oberyn has been getting his affairs in order, and the implications of that make your shoulders tighten and your limbs feel heavy as you walk together. Tomorrow he will fight to the death to honor and revenge this sister, and the terrifying truth is that he could be the one to lose. As cocky - and as talented a fighter - as he is, Oberyn is not a stupid man. “Should the need come, I will make sure your Sand Snakes are as well cared for as you could ever wish. Ellaria and I will not let them want for anything.”
“I will be there to see them.” Oberyn promises. “However.” He slides his arm down to take your hand in his and bring it up to his lips. “Every Dornish lord here, all their men, will see you safely from the city.��� He promises. After he had accepted the role, he had gone to see them, without Raeden so he could speak frankly to them. He wanted to make sure the other lords would wholly accept your lover as Lord Sunstone. They were happy to have a new lord amongst the ranks, especially one who chose Dorne. “You need not fear any abuse.”
“I do not.” And that, thankfully, you can count on the truth. The lords of Dorne had been surprised by your sudden appearance in Oberyn’s life but accepted you fully. “And I know that you will do everything in your power to come home with us. I do not doubt that even for a moment.” You do not doubt it, but you have learned a healthy fear of the unknown.
“I will.” He agrees, squeezing your hand and smirking at you. “Let is plan this feast. I wish to make sure that we have a night to remember.”
“It would be impossible to forget a night with you.” As sentimental a thing as it is to say, you truly do mean it. Oberyn has changed so much about your life and all of it has been for the better — how could you forget even a moment of that?
“I wanted to tell you this privately.” He admits quietly. “I know that you are scared and I will win, but I thought it would making you feel better. In case the worst happens.”
“I am scared.” There is no use denying that and you would not be cruel enough to disrespect him like that. “But only because I know that life is unpredictable. And I am grateful that you are open with me. That you understand it is not that I do not believe in you. Because that is the furthest from the truth.”
“All men must have some fear.” Oberyn admits quietly. “Do not have fear is to not wish to live. And then you have already died.” He watches the people that move past the two of you and hums. “The true test of a man is conquering that fear and not letting it turn him into a coward. Using the fear for his own purposes.”
“I will have to remember that.” In the meantime, because the fear you have is for him, you lace your fingers together tightly as you walk. “May I ask you something, love?”
“Anything.” He insists. “You know that, my love. I will hide nothing from you.”
“You may object to the request and I would understand that.” He nods when your eyes meet his and you return the gesture, biting your lip slightly. “I—it is only that…I cannot stop thinking of the baby.” So much so that your hand has been unconsciously resting on the side of your still unchanged belly as you walk. “If anything were to happen to you tomorrow…I wondered if we might be able to choose a name? You should know your ninth daughter’s name, if the worst happens.”
“I think we should also pick out a son’s name.” Oberyn grunts, even though he is smiling. “For the boy the babe might be.”
“I think if I were to bear you a son, no one would believe he was yours,” you half-joke, glad that Oberyn is humoring your anxieties and making the topic sweet instead of calling out your nerves.
“They will when he looks just like me and fights at the first insult to his mother.” He predicts with a proud grin.
“Perhaps that would be enough.” You smile at the thought, though it is a thin thing. Somehow in your heart you know that carrying another of his daughters is more likely than anything. Still, it is best to be prepared. “But you would not have him named for you.”
“I believe the boy needs to forge his own reputation, not live in the shadow of mine.” Names have meaning in this time, and he would not saddle his son with his. Giving him freedom to be whomever he chose to be. “That is why I would not name a son after me.”
“Then you would not want to name him after any family? Our only after you?” The logic does make sense to you, and you nod as you walk. The marketplace is open and though people may stare you have learned to pay them no mind.
“Only after myself.” He pauses and turns towards you. “But I forbid you naming the child after your bitch of a mother.” He warns, not wishing the revisiting the past every time you looks upon a girl with that name.
“I would rather name her after my father’s soulmate that I never even met then name her after the woman who abused me,” you agree, shaking your head sadly.
“Apologies, my love.” Oberyn leans in to kiss your lips softly. “Forget I mentioned it.”
“Mentioned what?” Willing yourself to simply forget the mention of her and move on, you offer Oberyn a bright smile and steal another kiss. “I believe we were choosing names for a son?”
“Do you have any ideas?” He asks curiously. Wondering if you had imagined the names of your children before now.
"I used to tease Antony that I would name my son for him any time he did me a small favor." The sweet, nostalgic memory of an older brother doting on his younger sister brings a bittersweet smile to your face. As much as you might have told your brothers that they drove you crazy, you miss them desperately. "Anytime he did something as little as bringing me a pencil to write with, I would dramatically declare that I would honor him with naming my son Antony. It was...just a silly thing. But I suppose I never thought of anything beyond that."
“Would you wish to use that name or a piece of it?” He asks, smiling softly at the image of a young girl promising her older brother to name her son after him.
"Antony is a good name." Strong but not harsh, you had always thought it a very nice name aside from all the of the teasing. "And...Antonia is lovely, as well?"
“Naming our daughter after your brother?” He barks out a laugh even as he seriously thinks about it. “I like it.” He admits. “Antonia Martell.” He shrugs. “Rolls off the tongue better than my thought towards a name.”
"What was yours?" He has named eight daughters already, you cannot discount any ideas he might have with so much practice behind him.
“Marella.” He shrugs slightly, unconcerned. He will name the babe whatever makes you happy and be proud of it.
"Oh, that's lovely." Rolling it over in your mind though, you frown a moment later. "Although Marella Martell would be quite the tongue twister."
“Technically, she would be Princess Marella of Dorne, when people address her.” He teases. “But Antonia is much nicer.”
"I wish she was here already." It feels like a ridiculous thing to lament, but you wish it so that he could hold her. Because the fear that Oberyn might never meet his next child is creeping up your neck as if it were high tide on the rocks.
“She will come when she is ready.” Even if he teases you about giving him a male heir, he feels like you are carrying a girl. “Squawking and screaming as she shakes her fist at the world.”
You squeeze his hand again as you swallow your fears, and turn into the marketplace with him. “She will be so adored.”
“By so many.” He agrees, sighing softly. “I cannot wait to show you Dorne.”
“I hope you will show me everything.” In the weeks and months since your marriage, you have become more and more eager to see your new home. “Every time Ellaria speaks of the Water Gardens, I ache to see them.”
“We will swim in the gardens naked.” He tells you with a grin. “After the children are asleep.”
“I see you already have plans for conceiving your tenth child,” you tease, knowing he means sooner than that.
“Perhaps.” He chuckles and reaches over to rub your stomach. “I do not think we will stop at one child.”
“I certainly will not stop sharing your bed.” You could be more vulgar, but you are in public.
“It would be a dour day when you decided to stop sleeping in my bed.” He grunts. He does not think that would ever happen, despite originally thinking you would never share his bed.
“Dour would be correct,” you hum with equal dislike for the idea. “The only way it would happen would be very sad circumstances.” Very sad as in one of your deaths, and you are reminded again what tomorrow morning will bring.
“Do not think on it.” He can tell you are worrying about tomorrow again. He cannot give you more guarantees than he already has, and he will not insult you by demanding you not worry.
"I will try." Strolling together a little further, the stall where the Dornishman you have come to know as Salin sells his prepared foods is swarming with people. Since word had gotten out that Prince Oberyn enjoyed his recipes, he had been receiving more and more business.
“Salin.” Oberyn greets the man warmly, like he would any of his countrymen. “How does your day fare?”
"Very well, my prince and princess." Salin has come to recognize the sight of all of Oberyn's household, and always welcomes all of you with open arms. Today, he reaches for a fried pastry full of chopped roasted nuts, honey, and sweet dates and offers it to you. "I have heard a rumour, your Graces," he admits, smiling broadly when you accept the pastry with glee. "That you are to be congratulated?"
The prince huffs, even as he grins proudly. “Which one of them told you?” He asks, sure that Ellaria would have mentioned it since you were craving dates lately.
"I was not sworn to secrecy, so I do not fear telling you that it was your lovely paramour." He smiles even more broadly and puts one hand over his heart. "I would like to offer, if it pleases you, to send the recipe for my date cake with you when you return to Sunspear. Your cook will have no trouble recreating it, and I was told the princess enjoyed it very much."
“I would be very grateful for it.” Oberyn nods and tilts his head towards the man. “If you ever wish to come back to Dorne, I will give you a place in the palace to cook for our house.”
"You are..." Salin swallows thickly, looking between the two of you. "Your Grace is most generous." His voice wavers and his other hand comes up to his heart. "I left my mother and siblings there when I came to King's Landing and...until your patronage...did not have the money for passage to go home again."
Oberyn frowns, hating King’s Landing as much as the next Dornishman and looks towards you. “We are leaving King’s Landing. After the tournament.” He informs the merchant who has provided so many meals for his lovers and his wife. “The ship will be crowded, but I am sure we can find room for you if you wish to sail home?” He asks.
"I do." He murmurs, expression still aghast. "I wish to return home more than anything." The man looks as though he could cry, and something inside of you cracks a little, making your reach out to gently squeeze his arm in reassurance. "We had come to ask you to prepare us one last feast, but this is far better. We are happy to have you return with us."
“I-- I will prepare you the feast that would put all feasts to shame.” He agrees quickly. If he is leaving, he will need to deplete his stores. “And if your offer is genuine, I would be honored to prepare meals on the ship for your family.”
You do not even need to look over at Oberyn to know that the offer was real, but still your eyes find your husband's profile and you nod to Salin with a smile. "We will be the ones who are honoured, Salin. And thank you for this," you hold up the pastry, which you have already tried a bite of and will have demolished the sweet treat in less than another minute. "Truly, your talent is unparalleled. You either had a remarkable teacher or your talents are a gift from the gods."
“My mother.” He informs you proudly. “She runs a small tavern in Sunspear.” He beams and nods towards your pastry. “Although that is something special. It is a treat that she had made for her soulmate.” He frowns slightly but recovers to smile at the both of you.
"He had very good taste." The shadow that falls over his face does not escape you, but you do not feel your have the right to press. Instead you simply add, "And must have been a very lucky man."
“Perhaps.” That is all he will say about the man he has never met, although he looks back at the pair of you expectantly. “Do you wish me to just send whatever I make or is there something special you wish to have?” He’s not unaware that Oberyn will be in the tournament tomorrow, that he could possibly die. So tonight is a celebration feast in preparation for his victory.
"The prince favours your spicy lamb, but everything else is up to you. Whatever you feel your finest or favourite dishes are to prepare. And there are seven of us, so be generous." Everything he makes is delicious, so you have no doubt that it will all be wonderful.
Bobbling his head eagerly, Salin immediately starts to think about what he can send to the Keep. “I will have it prepared. Is there a time you will need it?”
"No sooner than usual," you assure him, knowing that your intention to eat and spend the rest of the night indulging in pleasure is shared by everyone in your small household.
“I will deliver it myself.” He promises, shaking his head when Oberyn pulls out his coin purse. “No, please. It would be my pleasure.”
"We would be remiss in offering you a place in our household and then not paying you for that talent of yours we so appreciate." The shake of your head matches his and you reach out to touch his arm again. "Please. Allow us to show you the respect you deserve."
“You are kind and gracious.” His lip trembles slightly. “My mother will be very grateful to have her oldest son back.”
Nearer now to being a mother than you ever have been before in your life, you already cannot imagine what separating from your oldest child would be like, other than being positively devastating. '"Whatever brought you to King's Landing, I hope that it was worth the trip, and that returning home will bring you just as much joy."
“My trip was in vain but I learned a valuable lesson.” He promises. “The return trip home will be much sweeter, although your patronage has made my little stand a success.”
"Perhaps the gods have given you something just as valuable that you have not yet realized." Wishing not to leave the man feeling poorly about anything at all - if you can help it - you find yourself wishing it was as easy as offering to spend time with him. To listen to his story. To find out what had happened and see if there is some way you can help. But again, you remind yourself not to force the situation. You are already giving him a way to return to his family, and that seems to be a help in its own right.
Salin nods and smiles at the Princess of Dorne and her husband. “The gods gave surely shined down in my humble soul.” He acknowledges before handing you another pastry. “For your walk, your highness.”
“You are very generous, my friend. Thank you.” With a nod of your head, you and Oberyn continue walking, leaving Salin to his work. There is much to be done before tonight, apparently, because he disappears into the back of his stall immediately. “He seems to be very glad to go home again.”
“Is there anywhere else you wish to go?” Oberyn asks you indulgently. The dress you are wearing is fine and causing many heads to turn, making him grip your hand proudly as you continue towards the water.
“I would visit every seller here just to prolong our walk,” you admit, nibbling at the treat that Salin handed you as you walk hand in hand with Oberyn. “Perhaps we could visit our smith friend once more before we leave?” An amused smile forms on your lips when his eyes slip past your face to your chest. “Or would you like to also offer passage to my dressmaker, since you seem so fond of her work?”
He snorts, and sends you an amused smirk. “If I could cart all the talented workers away from King’s Landing as a strike against the Lannisters. I would.” He jokes. “But perhaps we should see what other baubles we can purchase for amusement.”
“I know one that would amuse both you and Raeden.” You hum, making yourself walk by the bookseller’s stall without stopping. If you do, you might simply stay there the whole day. “I wonder if the goldsmith might have another necklace of thin chains for Margaery to match with myself and Ellaria.”
Oberyn grunts, his cock twitching and he hums in agreement. “It would be a very pleasant view, three gorgeous women, completely naked except for the chains around their necks.”
“It would be lovely to see.” You and Margaery seem to be the only ones who were surprised by how close you have become and how quickly, and your may or may not be looking forward to the sight yourself.
“Perhaps there is another bauble we can find for the three of you to wear tomorrow.” Oberyn muses. “I wish to see all three of you in very revealing dress. You will be on the sidelines.”
"We will wear anything you choose, love." It is very literally the least that the three of you can do, and you know that although you will all - Raeden included - be worried, you will be a united front of pride for Dorne.
“Good.” While there will be some who do not care what the lovers of Oberyn wear, just the three- four- of you being there will be an insult to the people who matter most in the private portion of this skirmish. Until he brings all their sins to the light for the Seven Kingdoms to see.
"It will be no small statement to have Margaery beside us. For the four of us to appear united in appearance as well?" It is an incredibly simple yet effective means of making your delegation seem all the more powerful, and you know that every small tactic counts. "It will disarm some of those in the capital who foolishly think Dorne to be less civilized."
“Exactly.” He is always pleased with you when you know why he is doing something. The cleverness of your minds makes him think that you would have been named your father’s heir of you had been born a man.
"Would you have us matching?" You ask him, thinking that that would take some effort to achieve by the morning. "Or wearing an emblem somehow?"
“Perhaps we will find something. If not, then there are…dresses in my trunk you could wear.” He admits with a small chuckle.
"There are more dresses in your trunks?" By this time you would have assumed that Ellaria had wore every stitch of clothing brought from Dorne to the northern capital, but apparently that assumption would be incorrect.
“If you wish to call them dresses.” He smirks. “There is more skin showing than fabric.”
"If only my belly were already swollen," you smirk up at him as you slow in your walk and come to a stop at the jeweler's stall. "That would be quite a sight to be shown off."
“One I will love to see when it happens. Especially since the dress will show off your belly.” Oberyn’s eyes narrow as he takes in the jewels on display.
"Your Graces." The man bows deeply to see you approach, the sight of the two of you together being most welcome to him. He knows it will end in a large purchase, if nothing else, and others had taken notice of the Dornish prince's patronage of his business. It had brought him enormous good fortune in the months since your first visit. "What is it you search for today?"
“Another necklace.” Oberyn informs him with a smirk. “Just like the one for my wife and my paramour. I wish to clasp it around our other lover’s neck.”
"I confess, I wondered if you might desire another." Disappearing from view for just a few seconds, the merchant comes back again with a small wooden box. He lifts the lid, showing off another glinting necklace of delicate chains. "Your reputation, after all, precedes you."
“Do you have a smaller version of this?” Oberyn asks as he traces the necklace with his fingers. “More…masculine?”
"Smaller as in…fewer strands?" The man's head tilts to one side, making sure he understands correctly.
“Fewer strands, more…” he turns to you with a frown. “I want one for Raeden.” He tells you.
"I assumed as much, when you wanted one more masculine." The expression on his face is half frustration and half plaintive, and you cup his cheek in your hand lovingly. "Do you want it to be worn under his robes tomorrow, or do you want it to be worn in bed, my love?"
“Both.” He grunts, looking at you with dark, lust filled eyes. “But I want him to wear it tomorrow. Showing on his bare chest to match your. United and under House Martell’s protection.”
"The prince desires another necklace with fewer, thicker chains," you inform the jeweler, squeezing Oberyn's hands in yours and pressing a kiss to his lips. "And it should be made to accommodate a broader chest."
The jeweler has questions but he keeps them to himself. Although the design might be on display after the custom jewelry is sold and discreetly mentioned that the Prince of Dorne bought for a male lover. It might be of interest to the right discreet party.
“It will be needed by tonight.” Neither you nor Oberyn would be willing to wait until morning and risk not having it be ready, but you are certain that Oberyn will want Raeden to wear the chains tonight, as well.
“Of course.” He knows now that the prince will not blink at the cost so he does not even warn him about the extra price for expedited work. The prince is a man who wants what he wants when he wants it with no regard to cost.
“What other new baubles have you? Any of your clever wife’s designs?” The puzzle ring that you gave to Oberyn is a favorite, and your eyes start to search through the trays of fine pieces right away.
“There is a wide selection.” He agrees eagerly, rushing over to show them to you. “Your interest and admiration has made her designs improve and her love of it increase.”
“I am very glad to hear it.” Oberyn has begun searching a different part of the stall, and you follows the merchant’s lead to look at the designs that his wife has made. “What is the piece she is most proud of? I wish to see it.”
“There is a bracelet design that my wife is very pleased with.” The latest designed may have been with a slight Dornish flair due to the Prince’s patronage. The bracelets have several bangles wove in between each other and can be pulled apart, but when they are in a solid mass, they give the illusion of being one solid piece, the bursting sun of Dorne etched into the gold.
“Oh, she is clever!” You hum happily when the merchant presents you with the multi-strand bracelet. “And your craftsmanship is exquisite, ser. It seems that no matter you you make, you and your wife are quite the formidable team.”
Delighted that you like it, he moves to grab the other ones. "I took the liberty of making several." He informs you. "Because I know that your group likes to have matching sets."
“We certainly do.” The stone in the middle of each Dornish sun is the only difference between the bracelets - one deep green, one pink-red, one orange, one yellow, one milky white, one rich blue, and one clear purple. They are stunning together and you beckon Oberyn closer to look. “There are seven, my love.” Your face shines with delight.
"Why seven?" Oberyn asks curiously. He could see if there were eight, for his daughters or two because of his last order of necklaces.
“You, Raeden, and Cal.” You have three bracelets beside your right hand, and then beside your left you point out the other four. “Ellaria, me, Margaery, and Leyth.”
"No, my love." He grunts. "I was asking the jeweler why he crafted seven bracelets."
The jeweler in question blushes, clearing his throat at the prince’s pointed attention. He was not going to call attention to the number after you seemed so delighted with the fact that there were seven. “In truth, your Grace?” He would shove his hands in his pockets in embarrassment if he had any. “There are three or four more being finished just this day. I thought to have a wide collection of colors for your Graces to choose from, that is all.”
"I will take them all." Oberyn decides, looking back at you to find you smiling down at the bracelet with a dreamy expression on your face. "What do you think, my love? For any others we might bring into our fold?" He hums. "Or perhaps..." He slides his hand around your waist and your stomach. "Perhaps as gifts for our children."
“They seem fitting for your girls, don’t you think?” If there are so many, that is. The idea of more cannot be banished from your mind. You must remember that Oberyn has a plan. “Hopefully they all have different favourite colors.”
The mention of ‘his girls’ makes Oberyn’s head snap back to the jeweler. “These bracelets.” He tells him. “I want eight more. Except instead of bursting suns, I want snakes. Coiled snakes with the different colored jewel in the eye.”
“It…is too much to do in one night.” The jeweler tells him with obvious regret and just a touch of fear. “Perhaps it could be done in two if everyone worked through the night…but I know that you are not one to wait, your Grace.”
"We will be leaving for Dorne in two days." He tells the jeweler. "Have them done by the time the ship leaves the harbor and I will give you a bonus to make it worth the effort."
“Yes, your Grace.” The man bows rather frantically, scooping up the few things that he had already talked to the two of you about, and dashing into the back of his stall. When his apprentice appears just a few moments later, you smile with the knowledge that he is going straight to work. It is not even the man’s own son he has sent to man his stall. He will be working well into the night.
"I will give my sand snakes the bracelets he is crafting now." He tells you with a proud smirk. "They will love them." He had been searching for gifts for his girls, always bringing them something when he has to travel and the bracelets would be perfect.
“They will make a beautiful gift, my love.” For his eight - soon, nine - children, a token from the trip when their father wed will hopefully be something to celebrate and not frown upon. “They will look well with the necklaces that Ellaria is bringing to each of your daughters.”
“She loves all of them.” He hums happily, smiling softly. “You will love them too, I hope.”
“I have no doubt.” One of your hands rests gently on his arm and you smile. “I cannot wait to meet them.”
“They will be waiting for us when we arrive in Sunspear.” He informs you with complete surety. “Expect many questions.”
“I expect they will have many.” Just imagining it makes you giggle, thinking of the youngest ones especially. The older girls you will be able to be more straightforward with. “Luckily we are bringing them a new grandfather as well, who will dote on them endlessly no matter who their mother is.” Being able to acquaint your father with the situations that resulted in all of Oberyn’s daughters’ births, he has been excited to meet them ever since. Once he saw how loving your husband can be and how happy you are, nothing else mattered.
“He had been surprisingly welcoming.” He had anticipated a bit of distance from his wife’s father, but he has been to dinner several times. “He will enjoy Dorne.” He frowns slightly. “I have written my brother about Marlee as well. To see if we can find her.”
“You are entirely too good, my love.” Losing her — and discovering why he had lost her — has been a reopened wound for your father, who has clung to all news and stories of Dorne in response. As though he might hear her name in one of them unwittingly.
“There is no stone I would leave unturned if my soulmate was lost to me.” He tells you, his hand sliding along your arm to tangle his fingers with yours.
“I believe I can confidently say that neither Ellaria nor I will ever leave your side.” Still, your fingers tangling tightly in his as though trying to convince him. “There is nothing in the Seven Hells that could ever tempt me away, my love.”
“That is good.” He squeezes your hand and smirks. “I will be very satisfied with being surrounded by my soulmates and our lovers for a long time.”
“Our trip home will be an interesting one, with so many of us in such close company,” you smirk up at your husband as you walk. “I imagine we will spend much time in our quarters.”
Oberyn chuckles. “I do not think Cersei imagined her gift to her daughter would ferry so many of her people away on it.”
“I suppose I can only be grateful that my family had a long-standing connection to Dorne and not to Casterly Rock.” You shudder slightly at the idea and cringe. “Imagine my mother’s victory if she had sold me to the Lannisters instead.”
“I would not wish such a fate on you.” He growls, protective of you despite the fact you are safe in his arms. “A husband with one hand who fucks his sister.”
“I would not wish such a fate on anyone.” It would have been her triumph, to manage something like that. You know how lucky and how grateful you are to have been promised to Oberyn. “I am grateful to be madly in love with my husband instead.”
“What is not to love?” He asks arrogantly with a small wink. He looks around the market again and then turns you back towards the books. “Should you not pick another dozen books for the trip to Dorne?”
“You have been so generous with growing my library that my trunks may weigh more than Margaery’s dowry.” Still, you are not about to protest. Not for a moment. “I may spend the entire journey home with my nose in a book.”
“The captain I have hired for the trip home is strong. He will have crew to move them.” He’s unconcerned with that, more interested in your happiness than anything.
“My husband indulges me.” And the adoration on your face is very clear as he leads you back toward the bookseller. “He is soft and tender hearted and sweet.”
“If you think me soft, do not be frightened tomorrow.” He jokes. He knows that you mean he is soft when it comes to you and Ellaria and how he indulges you.
“Ellaria has told me about Mereen,” you admit, leaning close to his side as you come to stop in front of the bookseller’s stall. “How you fight. What to expect.”
“I have survived many battles.” He nods. “I expect to survive many more.” He let’s go of your hand and pats your ass affectionately. “Go find the books you wish to read to me while you are sitting on my cock later on.”
******
There is a thickness, a palpable tension in the air, when you and Oberyn return from the marketplace. The jeweler had already sent by his delivery of the things Oberyn purchased which were already made, and the note from him listed the price for the items being created, which Oberyn barely glanced at. The delivery of your books, the scarves you found for Ellaria and Margaery, and the baby blanket made by the dressmaker who had crafted your Dornish-style gowns — all of it is waiting for you when you finally return. But the truest shock is that your father has apparently been spending time with Raeden, Ellaria, and Margaery this afternoon.
He hugs you when you drift into the room on Oberyn’s arm and shakes Oberyn’s hands warmly. “I thought I would pay my respects tonight instead of distracting you with well wishes in the morning.” He tells your husband honestly.
While he had not thought much of your father when he first met the man, he had been sorely impressed with his insight since your mother’s departure. They had several frank and interesting conversations and Oberyn had refrained from engaging in his normal pleasures that he might with another lord, taking him to a whorehouse. “Many thanks.” He offers with a smile. “Join us, we are having a Dornish feast delivered by the best cook outside of her boarders.” He boasts. “In fact, I have offered him a place in the palace kitchens and he will sail with us when we depart.”
“We are bringing Salin home with us?” Ellaria sounds delighted with the idea and her fingers trace up your arm. “I think the princess had a hand in this. For the love of date cakes,” she teases.
“It was Oberyn,” you admit, laughing at how right Ellaria is about your craving. “But I am certainly not upset about it.”
“I would be delighted to stay.” Your father perks up at the mention of Dornish food. “It has been some time since I have had a good Dornish meal. The cooks would alter the recipes at home to their tastes.” He huffs, aware that his mother had written them done very specifically.
“Salin is extraordinarily talented.” Even Margaery is looking forward to the meal, having been fully converted to the cuisine of her new home with the first meal she tried. “He prepared the feast we are the night Raeden and I were wed and I have never tasted anything more magnificent.”
“Then I am eager to sample this cooking. My Marlee was a magnificent cook and I would often tease her that she would make a fortune selling her food.” Your father hums, knowing no one would fault him for speaking of his soulmate.
“I would like to hear more of her, if you are willing.” Speaking of Marlee seems to soothe your father and you must admit to being curious about the woman who could have been your mother.
“She was always smiling, always humming a little tune under her breath while she worked.” He tells you. “Making these delicious little tarts. I could eat a hundred of them.”
"How did you meet?" There is tea from the keep's kitchens while you await Salin's arrival with your dinner, and you offer a seat in front of the fire to your father.
“In Dorne.” He looks over at you fondly, smiling with the bittersweet smile of a man who is remembering a better time. “We had traveled back for my grandfather’s funeral. Mother was beside herself and my father could not leave. So I volunteered to escort her.” He had been brash and young, but already a good soldier. Handy with a sword. “I was bored by the grieving in the house, so I had snuck down to the kitchens.” He sighs. “She was baking. Flour on her cheek and singing a song as she mixed bread dough.”
“She worked for Grandmother’s family?” That is a surprise, and certainly makes you wish you had been bold enough to tell him about Raeden sooner. He would have been far more sympathetic than you knew.
“Yes.” He nods, his eyes sliding over to where Raeden is sitting with Margaery. “Although I think your path was leading you here.” He tells you, knowing what is whirling in that clever mind of yours. “She was beautiful. Raven black hair and yet…she had green eyes. The color of a watery jade.”
“So you fell in love over a secret meeting and a loaf of bread?” There is nothing sad or even melancholy in the life you have now, so you try to keep the conversation happy.
“The scar on my neck.” He pulls down the edge of his undershirt and his robe to expose the old, silvery scar. “It was new and fresh. Her dress showed it.” He shares a knowing grin with Oberyn. “She was mine from the first moment.”
“That sounds terribly romantic,” Margaery sighs, still softly envious of anyone who knows their soulmate or who has ever known them. “To have such definitive proof. To never wonder. It sounds remarkable.”
Her husband tightens his hold around her, offering her comfort. Everyone in this room knows that Margaery’s soulmate died without her ever knowing who it was. “If matching marks are ever discovered.” He murmurs softly. “They will be welcomed into our home.” It is the least he could offer considering the two sets of marks he bears, and the relationships he has with both women.
“If I ever have a set of marks appear?” Margaery nuzzles against him, glancing over at you before looking back to his eyes. “I hope that they will be yours or Star’s.”
“I would wear three sets of scars proudly.” He murmurs, bumping his nose against her cheek and then kissing her lips.
“As would I.” If the gods ever saw fit to give you three soulmates, you could not be happier to have one of them be Margaery.
“You are too generous.” Despite her inexperience, she has come to love to dynamic between the three of you especially, although she also enjoys time with Ellaria and Oberyn. Even if Oberyn had not yet fucked her.
“The gods have twice blessed you, pumpkin.” Your father chuckles. He still not quite understand the dynamic at play, but has decided that as long as you are happy, he does not need to. “To heap more upon you would be showing favoritism.”
“I would not expect anything less from gods concerning Star.” Ellaria chuckles quietly. She winks at you. “Perhaps the gods will send another wonderful person into Margaery’s life to add to our blessings.”
Glancing over at your husband, you bite back a grin and you wink at his as he so often does to you. "We will need a bed the size of you entire chamber if we continue to add members to our group."
You father clears his throat, reminding himself that he does not need to ask questions about things he does not wish to know. You are happy, and that is a rarity in life. “Dinner will be delightful, I’m sure.”
"It will." Leyth appears in the doorway, blessedly distracting from your embarrassment and ushering in Salin with his baskets upon baskets of delicious food.
“Salin, you outdo yourself every time.” Ellaria rises graceful and moves to greet the man with a charming smile and a hug. “Oberyn tells us you will be sailing back to Dorne with us?”
"The prince has most graciously offered to allow me to return home with your party." His hand is over his heart as he sets down the baskets from his other arm and Ellaria begins to unload them all over the large dining table. "I am most grateful to be able to see my family again."
“You must join us tonight.” Oberyn decides, motioning to the table. “We will be spending time together in much less spacious confines, let us drink and celebrate with delicious food tonight.”
"I could not impose--" Salin begins, but you immediately shake your head to stop him.
"Please," you insist, motioning for everyone to gather around the table. "We will not stand on ceremony tonight, but feast and celebrate as friends and family. We insist."
Looking around the table, Salin sees nothing but encouraging smiles and the murmurs of agreement, and he nods. "Your Graces are very kind. It would be my honour to join you."
There is something familiar about the young man. It tugs at your father’s thoughts but he tries to dismiss it as simply being nostalgic for his soulmate and everything to do with a culture he had much preferred to the rigid standards of the North.
Sitting down together at the table is indeed like an odd group of friends and family, but it is welcoming for that. Cal and Leyth join you instead of eating separately. Ellaria's mood is bright and boisterous. She speaks with Oberyn and Salin of home with such nostalgia that your father practically sighs with longing, and the rest of you who have never been to Dorne are hanging on every word.
Raeden leans back, watching the group with a smile as he strokes Margaery’s arm. Looking at the group that he has come to care for very much and squirms slightly in anticipation for things to come. It was not as if he had meant to wait to be with Oberyn. The moment had just never really come to be quite yet, but he want it so badly he cannot wait for the night to continue.
“I hope you will all forgive the indulgence,” Salin is saying as he begins to unpack the beautiful containers of sweet treats he prepared for dessert. “I have catered to her Grace’s cravings for our final course. Date cakes, figs with soft cheese, honey soaked fried dough, and crispy pastry with honey and nut filling. All of the princess’s favourites that I have been fortunate to discover so far.”
“Salin.” Your eyes grow as wide as saucers at the spread, practically giggling with glee. “You are far too kind and far too indulgent.”
The pastry with honey and nut filling makes your father tilt his head curiously as he finishes up his own meal. Easily enjoying the best Dornish meal he has had since he has been to the country. Watching as you pile a clean plate high with the delicacies with an indulgent chuckle.
“Try them, Papa.” You insist, moving the plate of crispy, sticky pastry toward your father. “I promise you will not be disappointed. Salin is a magician.”
Once offered, your father eagerly reaches for the pastry, likening it to one he has had many years ago and takes a bite quickly. "Mmmmmhhhhh." The moan is immediate and louder than he would have normally given over any good food. "I-- this tastes exactly like the tarts my soulmate would make."
“Are they traditional?” The question is for anyone at the table who would know - Salin, of course, but Oberyn or Ellaria, too.
“Not especially, your Grace.” Salon’s expression is apologetic. “They are a family recipe. My mother would make them for special dinners. Birthdays, usually.”
"This-- this is exactly like Marlee would make." Your father groans again after another bite. "She added a touch of anise. Not too much or it would overpower the nuts, she always said." He shoves the rest of the tart into his mouth and reaches for another.
Confused, Salin tilts his head and watches as your father seems entranced by the sweets. “You knew my mother?” He asks, not entirely sure how that could be.
The air is sucked out of the room and the tart in his hand falls to the table as your father's head whips around to gape at the man who had served the food. "Your mother?" He chokes out. "Your mother is Marlee Sand?"
“I—yes?” Confused even further as to why this fact has caused such a reaction in the older nobleman, Salin nods. “Marlee Brude, after marrying my sisters’ father. But she was born Marlee Sand.”
"She-- she's dead." The blood rushes to his ears and his head is swimming as he rolls his eyes over to you desperately. "She told me she was dead." He whispers, begging you to confirm that your mother told him that his soulmate was killed.
“I am sure it is a coincidence.” Although, which your father clutching your hand so tightly, your confidence wanes. “Sand is the most common name in Dorne. And surely Marlee is—”
“Is an unusual name.” Ellaria cuts in, glancing between the two of you and Salin. “Not unheard of, but not common.”
“And my mother is very much alive,” Salin adds, still not quite understanding what is happened. “I had a letter from her not a fortnight ago.”
"I don't understand.." He shakes his head, clinging to you and looking at Salin with a more critical eye before he gasps. "Boy." He barks, although Salin is a man grown and not a boy. "Do you have your mother's eyes or your fathers?" He demands.
Salin huffs, being well past thirty years of age and no longer a boy. “My father’s, according to my mother. Much good though that may do me.”
“Pumpkin.” He reaches for your jaw and cradles it gently as he looks from your eyes, his eyes, and then towards the man who shares those eyes. “How-- is it possible?” He whispers quietly.
"You cannot be my father, sir, no matter how much coincidence maybe at play tonight." It is all a little too much for Salin, and he pushes away from the table with a frown. "My father was some far-flung Northern lord who chose money over his soulmate. He married a shrew of a woman and never gave my mother a second thought."
That makes him frown, shaking his head and letting go of your chin to stand, swaying slightly at the revelation that this is his son sitting in front of him. “I can swear on my honor I have thought of your mother every day I have been apart from her.” He tells Salin. “I was led to believe that she had returned to Dorne when my betrothal was announced, as I was trying to convince my father to let me marry Marlee.”
"It cannot be." The color drains from Salin's face even as he stands to face your father. His father? There is something familiar reflected in the older man's face that makes him hesitate, but as he glances away to try to take a shaky breath, his eyes fall on your father's neck. Or - specifically - on the decades old scar that mars his skin. It is that scar that makes him gasp and his eyes dart up to the older man's again. "Tell me how you got that scar." He demands.
“A small skirmish on the northern boarder of our lands when I was young.” It was the first time he had killed a man, and he had barely escaped with his life. He had told Marlee about it one night after sex, her giggling as he had re-enacted it completely nude. He sees that Salin might believe him. “Have you see it before?”
"Do you know what truly happened to the Marlee Sand that you knew?" There is anger there, or at least frustration and surprise, and Salin bristles slightly when your father's story matches what his mother told him of the scar she wears from her soulmate. "Why she returned to Dorne?"
“My bitch of a wife had confessed just weeks ago that she had paid a solider to have her killed.” Your father’s anger rides across his face, a dark storm cloud of emotions that has him curling his fists. He had missed Marlee for years and then mourned her over the past weeks, now to find out she was still living? It is almost too much to bear.
"That soldier had a change of heart." Salin murmurs, feeling the impossibility of the situation slam through him with determination. "He told her to run, and she did." His shoulders hunch, disbelief clouding his features as he shakes his head. "I am Salin Sand because she was driven from your lands. It was many years before she even acknowledged a man's attention. My sisters are young, yet. Young like Lady Sunstone."
The chair in front of him is the only thing that keeps his kneels from buckling as your father learns his soulmate is really alive. Still bearing no marks from her on his body, he had never considered she was alive. “Son.” He chokes out, nearly sobbing at the fact that this man is his grown son. “Tell me she is well. That she is happy?”
Before Salin can even think, he finds himself embracing your father - his father - with tears pooling in his eyes. "I think she will be again," he admits, shaking a little as he processes everything that has happened today. He has gone from simply being able to return home to returning home with his father. "She has been a widow these last few years, but I know she has never forgotten you. In fact--" He pulls away just enough to look at the scar again, fully digesting its existence and the existence of the man who wears it. "She had sent me to learn of you. That...that is why I left Dorne."
“She-- you did?” He’s astonished because he had never seen you before tonight. “I-- did you ever come to the Vale?” He asks, immediately suspicious of his bitch of a wife. Even if she hadn’t rubbed the knowledge of his bastard son in his face, she might have sent him away and never let him know.
“I was robbed on my first night in King’s Landing.” Salin sighs. “I opened my stall in the marketplace as a way to earn the money to return home, but clearly I have been unsuccessful.” Living hand to mouth is difficult for anyone, but it had been particularly embarrassing to have to live in his stall the first few weeks. Things had improved, but not enough. Not until Prince Oberyn.
“I-- I didn’t know of you.” He tells him, hating that they had pulled apart to continue talking. Even as the rest of the table looks on with great curiosity, he only had eyes for his eldest child. “Or I would have- I would have brought her home.” He knows that marriage wouldn’t have been allowed but Marlee and Salin would have been safe, protected and loved.
“It seems I was meant always to have sisters.” The younger man laughs, finally looking over to where you are still sitting - dumbfounded - at the table before his eyes cut back to his father. “Mother will be glad to know you have not forgotten her.”
“I will-- would you allow me to see her?” His eyes are hopeful but there may be too much resentment there to let it be possible. The idea of seeing his soulmate again has him wishing he was already in Dorne.
“It will be up to her.” Even as a young boy who wished to defend her, Salin understood that his mother was strong enough to choose her life for herself. “I have already sent a raven home to tell her that I will be returning with the prince and princess. She will be waiting at the docks for my arrival. I only ask that you allow me to tell her you are there first. To not ambush her.”
It is nearly a miracle that he does not make himself lightheaded, he is nodding so quickly. “Of course.” He agrees before he looks around the table at the rest of the group. “Would you--” he clears his throat. “Would you like to come to my chambers?” He asks, knowing you are eager to celebrate with your husband and he wants to talk to Salin more. “I have wine, or stronger spirits. We can talk?” He is hopeful, biting his lip as he looks at the son that he has missed out on his entire life with. Wishing to know everything about him.
“You are not going anywhere until I am allowed to embrace my oldest brother.” The idea of all of it has overwhelmed you, but the smile on your face is soft and dreamlike. How utterly right that your father should be able to have again what had been stolen from him. That he will have the chance to know his eldest child.
Salin seems almost shocked that you would be wanting a hug, but he’s opening his arms immediately and moving towards the woman who he now knows is his sister. “Gladly. Without you and the prince, this would not be.”
“We will all have time to get to know each other much better on the voyage home.” The warmth of the embrace is genuine — two shocked individuals taking what is in front of them and fully accepting it head on. “And I hope you will find it a comfortable thing to call us by our given names now that we are family.”
“It-- it will take time, Princess.” Salin admits with a small smile as he pulls back. “Perhaps his feelings will change once we change his last name to mine.” Your fathers interjects. “If he is willing to be claimed.”
“We will have that conversation.” There are many mixed feelings that Salin has had about his father over his lifetime. Now, with an entire family being offered to him, the thing he wants first is simply to know this man. “But tonight, let us simply begin to know each other. More will come in time.”
“Come.” The older man nods and motions towards the door. “If we talk too late into the night, there is another bed you can sleep in if you have no wish to walk the roads of King’s Landing.”
It is almost surreal to watch your father and brother step away together. The tension that had filled the room seems to dissipate all at once, and you fall down again in your seat beside Raeden with a sigh. “That was…unexpected.”
“Completely astounding.” Oberyn muses thoughtfully, still reclined in his chair and shaking his head. “Fate is playing in your life, Star. The Gods have truly taken an interest.”
______
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tillthelandslide · 7 months
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Same For You (11): Ego
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A/n: Firstly, I need to say a massive thank you to @procrastinatinglikeapro (again) for your help with this chapter, your idea's are gold and I hope you like the way they panned out in this chapter, I love you and am so grateful to have you, honestly you do so much for me and you've done so much for this series that I adore so thankyou thankyou thankyou! You're the best... I hope you all enjoy this chapter! I love it and hope you do to :)
Lastly, this is the last thing I will be posting before I take my break, I'm not sure how long I will be gone but I want you all to know I love you and your support means the world to me, always.
Series Warnings: slow burn romance, eventual smut, age gap, complicated relationship (low-key unhealthy dynamics), eventual love...
Chapter warnings: there's probably some spelling mistakes/grammatical errors, strong language, confusing relationships
Taglist: @scooby-doodoo @thereisaplaceintheheart @theoriginalwhatsername @eaglestar31 @thefrontofmymind @fallingforel @partoftheairforce @procrastinatinglikeapro @poisonmedaddy13 @xthe1975 @all-things-fic @jstbeeingme @rossgirly @juliardk @you-muppet @moodyyyychickx @k4tie75 @friedlandblog @insidemymind19 @zzzhealy @at-her-very-foreign (add yourself using the link in my bio 😊)
Masterlist
(10) Dylan
Her head is pressed against his chest, his arms wrapped gently around her frame, his back aches against the (now) stiff feeling sofa, but he swore to himself he wouldn't move an inch, not wanting to wake her, needing to have her like this, if only for a brief moment.
For a moment he's unaware of his surroundings when he wakes, blinking a few times before he remembers where he is. At the end of her garden, in her home studio, squeezed together on a sofa she has in the room, one in which was far too small for them both. She shuffles next to him and he grunts as her arm jabs in in the side.
"Sorry" she mumbles into his chest, he just laughs pulling her tighter into his embrace. In her half asleep state, the thought that this shouldn't be happening doesn't creep into her mind. The thought that hours after Ross was just in her bedroom, she had fallen asleep in Matty's arms in her studio, completely escapes her.
"Morning love" his morning voice, one in which is gravely and deep, shocks her to the core. But it also soothes her and causes a happy smile to break out across her face.
"Morning" she feels him place a kiss to her forehead, new territory but more than welcomed. Still no sign of "we cants" or even the thought of Ross. She'd feel bad when she realised, that much was certain.
"You're pretty in the morning" she pulls away from his chest, looking at him for the first time that day. His eyes were sleepy and the brown orbs looked lighter in the morning light, he had a small, happy smile resting against his mouth and his eyelashes were curly and messy.
"So are you" she admits and he smiles nuzzling back into her neck. She giggles at the feeling of his stubble scratching her skin, finding his chin and pulling him away from her once more. Her eyes drift over the skin, fingertips following her line of sight, lightly scratching the stubble, making his eyes flutter shut and a content hum fall from his mouth. The noise does something to her and her eyes snap down to his lips for a brief second. She thinks about what it would feel like to have them against her own, whether they'd be soft or chapped, she had a slight inclination that she wouldn't mind either of those options. She wonders whether they'd make her stomach flutter, like Ross' did. She wonders how different they'd feel, whether they'd be gentler, or maybe harsher. She didn't know, and she wouldn't.
"You need to shave" she says and he nods, eyes still shut. When her movements stop his eyes reopen, falling on her mouth, noticing how her bottom lip was tucked in-between her teeth.
Oh he thinks, did she want this too?
He wonders what her lips would taste like, he thinks they'd be sweet, like cherry or strawberry, or maybe like honey or chocolate. He wonders how she'd kiss, would it be confident or unsure? Would it completely disable him, take over his entire being or would it just be like any other kiss? He knew he needed to find out, although he also knew he shouldn't. He just had to.
He moved forward just slightly, one hand taking in her waist. This definitely was not friendly anymore. He knew this shouldn't be happening, he knew his best friend clearly liked her, but he couldn't stop himself, not in that moment.
"Why'd you stop?" He asks. Because of Ross, because I can't like both of you, because we work together, because of Ross, because I like you but like Ross too, because despite how much I want to, I can't have you both she thinks. A pang of guilt hits her when the thoughts flood in, along with the "we cants" that she seemingly forgot about when she awoke.
"Matty...." She warns when he moves forward again, lips centimetres away from hers.
"Yes love?" He asks, eyebrow raising. Please don't stop me he thinks, please let me, just once, we can keep it between us, he thinks. They couldn't, one of them would feel far to guilty and would have to tell Ross. They both could lose her if they did that, and she could lose them. She couldn't imagine anything worse.
"Stop" she says, hand coming up to his shoulder and halting his movements, eyes shutting to avoid him completely, not trusting herself to look at him, worried she'd cave. Matty obviously doesn't know that things had begun progressing with Ross, this was the perfect time to tell him, but she couldn't bring herself to do so.
"Please love... Just one" she knows he's asking to kiss her but she shakes her head.
"We work together Matty... I can't" she says, she doesn't move just yet, his lips still grazing her.
"That doesn't mean you don't want to" he says and she shakes her head and she sighs.
"Don't do that Matty, don't ruin it" she says and he's the one sighing now.
"You've already ruined it" he says and her eyes snap open at that, finding his as she breathes out a sad "Matty..." and then she's standing, moving away from him, pulling at her jumper, trying to cover herself up from his stare.
"I'm sorry that was really dicky of me... I'm sorry" he stands too. Silence falls between them,
"Okay...." He wants to ask what this is then? How come he stayed the night? How come they cuddled until they fell asleep? Friends don't do that.
"I'm sorry Matty... You should go" she says and he nods, standing from his place on the sofa walking over to her and wrapping her up in a quick hug.
"Don't overthink this and let it affect us... It is is what it is" he says with a kiss to her forehead, before he's slipping out the door of the studio. His words send her reeling. What does he mean? Don't overthink this? It was confusing, how could she not?
She didn't understand him, or what he wanted. But she guess she's the exact same.
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Matty doesn't come to the studio that day, he doesn't text her with an explanation, and neither George nor Ross know the reason for his absence. Ross meets her at a coffee shop near the studio, they sit and talk for a while, tucked away into the corner, they look like a proper couple (although they weren't one): holding hands and kissing and cuddling without fear of people seeing (even though maybe they should have). They walk hand in hand down the street, only dropping the others when they near the studio.
The studio is crowded, far too crowded for her liking, it doesn't matter that they're her band and her friends, she feels claustrophobic and her breath is bated and harsh. Ross notices but doesn't say anything, even when she removes herself from the room. He wants nothing more than to follow her, to hug her until she calmed down, but she made him promise not to do anything that would make their situation obvious.
George searches for her, finding her in a closet somewhere, she's cramped into the small space, she sits with her back against the wall, her legs tucked up with her head placed on her knees.
He can tell she's trying to control her breathing, but she's struggling.
"Are you okay love?" He knows the question is redundant given the circumstances but he didn't know what else to say.
"Yeah just give me a moment" she says her voice so hoarse, she doesn't quite sound like her and it panics him. If she was to have a full blown panic attack, what would he do? He didn't know. Could he get Ross or would that panic her more? Could he call Matty? No, he doesn't think he should, he has a slight feeling this was because of him. A hunch.
"Is there anything I can do?" He asks and she finally looks up at him, her pupils are blown wide, and her eyes glisten, tears threatening to fall. She shakes her head but then her face contorts and her eyebrows raise as if she's had an idea.
"Just... Talk to me?" She asks. George hesitates but his back finds the wall and he slides down against it, crossing his legs given his height, he barely fit.
"Think the tracks so far sound really good, the band seem to love it and-" he's interrupted by her words, breathless ones "not about work" he nods and thinks for a moment.
"You know this morning when I was coming to the studio I saw this dog running about, it was cute, but in an ugly kind of way... I tried looking for it's owner but I couldn't so I just picked it up and started walking towards where it came from, hoping I'd cross paths with it's owner" he begins telling the story and she listens intently, distracted and so her breathing slows, almost returning to normal. Her rapid heartbeat slowly returning to a gentle pitter-patter.
"Eventually came across this man who shouted at me for supposedly 'stealing' his dog... I explained that I found it and was looking to return it to its owner.... He was having none of it. You know how people say dogs look like their owners? Well in that moment I completely understood what they mean" he explains and she finds herself laughing softly.
There is silence for a few moments and then she sighs.
"Thanks G, sorry about that" she says, smiling at him but a little awkwardly as if she felt bad for him, having to deal with her when she's like that.
"It's alright... Does that happen a lot?" He asks, not to intrude but just so he could prepare himself.
"Umm... Used to happen a lot more. Not so much anymore" she says and he nods.
"Do you mind me asking what caused it? Don't have to tell me obviously... Just know I'm here for you" he says and she nods, smiling. George had been somewhat of a saving grace recently, giving her advice and becoming the type of friend you know you could always rely on.
"G I might've messed up something really good... I might've put myself into a really difficult situation and I don't know how to sort it out" she admits and he nods. He doesn't delve any deeper than that, not really needing to. From what Matty had said about her, it was clear he fancied her and George already knew Ross was infatuated, it was obvious she was in a sticky situation.
"I'm sure you haven't messed anything up... How about, you just talk to them?" He says, she's surprised he knows what she was talking about without her having to say very much. But she couldn't help but wonder whether it was that obvious.
"Mattys ignoring me...." She says.
"Ignore him back..." Her eyebrows raise at that "I know he's my best friend and all... But that man hates it when he doesn't get what he wants... He'll come running back in no time... Besides, he cares about you too much" George says and she nods.
"Can I tell you something?" she asks and he nods. She suddenly knows she doesn't need to ask him not to tell anyone else. He was loyal and he wouldn't do that.
"I think... I like them both and I'm worried I'm going to fuck it all up and lose them both. I think I'm making a big mistake G... Should I just shut it down? Stop it once and for all... Before things get too out of hand" she asks and he sighs.
"I think... There's no harm in seeing how things go... You've just got to be honest with them... you might be surprised, but I don't want to see anyone getting hurt though, so if you think that's going to happen... Then maybe it would be best to shut it down" it wasn't exactly the answer she was hoping for, but she knew it was the right one. She wonders what he means but being surprised, but she doesn't have the energy to ask.
"Yeah..." She picks at her nail varnish, George reaches forward and grasps her hand gently, halting the attack.
"I don't think you'll ever lose either of them though... truly... I've known both of them practically my whole life and I've never seen either of them care for someone so much" George admits and she can't help but smile.
"I don't understand why though... I'm nothing special" George shakes his head at that.
"Listen... Maybe they see you through rose-tinted glasses, just a little bit. But I don't... And you're amazing Y/n. Charli thinks so too... You're good for them, that much is clear..." He says and she smiles again.
"Let's go back out yeah?" He asks and she nods, he helps her stand and they share a quick hug where she mumbles a thank you.
He speaks once last time "that includes you, you know... don't want to see you get hurt either" before they're joining the rest of the group again.
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It had been four days since she had told George about Matty, they had three studio sessions since then, each missing a certain curly haired singer. It had been four days since she had told Matty about her brother, four days since she woke up in his arms, four days since he wanted to kiss her but she stopped him, four days since he told her "not to overthink this" and then proceeded to ignore her.
He hadn't called her once, no late night or early morning phone calls where he spoke about anything that was going through his chaotic mind. She had opened up about something that was once so painful to her, something so very personal. She was vulnerable with him and he was sweet, they cuddled and it was intimate, exactly what she needed. But now, now she was unsure how to feel. He was making things hard, avoiding studio sessions, ignoring all her attempts to reach out, which reduced with time, she too could play his petty game.
She knows George can tell its bothering her, she's snappy in the studio, annoyed when things aren't working out or she can't get something to sound the way she wanted. She was struggling but most of all, she felt like she was wasting everyone's time.
The evenings and nights were better than the days, wrapped up in Ross' arms, her collection of his jumpers expanding as the days passed. Their lips had become well acquainted and she and he began sharing things only meant to bring each other closer. It was hard to keep her eyes off him in the studio, hard to ignore the way he (or George) smirked when she was caught. She was like a moth to a flame. He was magnetic, truly addictive. Things hadn't progressed passed heavy petting and needy kisses, much to either of their dismay.
Suddenly, Matty's there again, walking around the studio like he owns the place (did he? she didn't know), ego taking up far too much space. Frowning at the fact she's wearing a jumper that is so clearly not hers (Ross') as if he has any right to be pouting at her like that.
They're working on a track they had been brainstorming for the past five days, George, Ross and Y/n (and her band) had got it to a point where each of them were happy with it. But suddenly Matty is in the picture and wants to change it.
He's made George play the track 5 times now, pacing back and forth every time, grumbling words that no one can make out, finger resting against his lip as he thought. She rolls her eyes at him, although he doesn't see, she wish he would. Just to piss him off.
"What is it Matty?" she says, trying her hardest not to come across annoyed, her voice is clipped and it has his eyes finally snapping to her. He looked tired, had he not been sleeping? She pushes the thought away, reminding herself that she was annoyed.
"It's not enough" George and Ross furrow their eyebrows at the man, as if to say "what?".
"It needs more" his arms raise to the ceiling, as if to levitate the music and she finally snaps.
"What the fuck is 'more' Matty?" she asks, all three men look at her, Ross sits with his eyebrows raised, never in the whole month (and a bit) of knowing her, had he heard her sound like that. George sits with a smirk against his mouth, thankful that someone was standing up to Matty, because usually, it would be him. Her band, all of whom are scattered about the room, almost flinch at her words, knowing when this Y/n came out, it was not a good sign.
They're all tired, having (save for Matty) spent practically every hour for the past 5 days in the studio working their hardest to get these tracks right. It's so uncharacteristically like her, her own band are wary of what's about to happen, anxiously waiting another word from either of the pair.
"I dont know... feels kind of empty" his eyes snap to hers, and he raises his eyebrows, using her own words against her is a low blow, even for him. She raises from her chair, almost in slow motion, there is a few moments where everyone in the room think she might hit him. George squares his shoulders and his palms find the edge of his chair, ready to push himself up if needed.
Ross mirrors her actions, standing too, ready to stop her if he needed.
"You're the biggest cunt going Healy" her words are loaded and they cut him, deep. He was used to hearing things like that coming from other peoples mouths, but never had he ever expected that to come from her. He supposes he deserves it. In fact he knows he does.
He knows he's taken it too far and the guilt he feels is enough for him to slink back into an unoccupied chair, mumbling a brief "fuck off" to Ross and George who stare him down. He was hurt, only putting distance between them to protect his own feelings. She hadn't told him whether things with Ross had progressed, but deep down he knew she didn't need to. Something had shifted, and although he was unsure as to why that was or what had happened to cause it, it was obvious something was happening between her and his best friend.
If she had to pick between himself and Ross he was going to take the choice away. Why should she get the chance to break his heart first? He realises it's a bit late for that now, because when his eyes finally snap up to find her watery ones staring back at him, his heart splinters, shattering into a million pieces, as if someone had taken a sledgehammer to glass. He only had himself to blame this time.
"Y/n..." he stands but she's gone before she can stop him. He tries to follow her but a hand on his shoulder stops him. He was half expecting it to be Ross or George but when her drummer is inching over him, looking as if he was going to smash his fist to his face, he halts.
"I wouldn't follow her if I were you... not if you want that pretty face of yours to stay intact" Jays words aren't violent or threatening, he wasn't insinuating that he would be the one to hurt him, he was saying it would be her.
"I've got this" he hears Ross say and Matty can't help but roll his eyes. Of course you do, he thinks. Ross finds her outside the studio sitting against the cold concrete floor, her back against the wall, smoking a joint... well that's new, he thinks.
"Sorry you had to see that... he just had no right saying shit like that... he's ignored me for 5 days and then he's suddenly there with that huge fucking ego of his, thinking he can just change a track he has not helped with whatsoever" her words come out rushed and by the time she's finished talking she's breathless, her chest is heaving. He's slid down the wall too, one thigh pressed against hers, no space between them. She leans on his shoulder as she threads the end of the blunt through her lips, taking a large inhale of weed.
"Don't apologise... he can be a real dick sometimes" Ross says, eyes flicking towards her hand that holds the blunt.
"Sorry if I'm ruining all of your expectations of me" she says, referring to her use of the vile world and her smoking weed.
"Don't. Don't do that..." he says, shaking his head, she raises her eyebrows at him, asking what he means.
"You're only human Y/n..." his hand finds hers and he silently takes the spliff, she chuckles as he inhales before he hands it back to her.
"Truthfully I'm glad you called him a cunt... he needed to be knocked down a peg" Ross says and she can't help but laugh at that.
"i'm sorry he acted that way" Ross says and she sighs, eyes finding his, looping her unoccupied hand into his. He brings their interwoven hands up to his mouth, pressing against her skin gently.
"You must be so tired of apologising for him all the time" Ross just shrugs.
"Kind of comes with the territory... being his best mate for years... think i've had to apologise on behalf of him more times then I can count... You know he doesn't mean it though right?" she nods.
"He just can't deal with the fact he's not getting what he wants" she says and Ross furrows his eyebrows again, unsure what she means. She instantly regrets sparking up the spliff, knowing she became unwavering honest when she smoked weed. It probably had something to do with the fact she was calm, not constantly worried about hurting someone else's feelings.
"He wanted to kiss me..." she admits and Ross's mouth falls open in a little "oh" at the confession. They had spent the past 5 days and nights with each other, shared things that no one else knows, yet this information is new.
"Did you let him?" Ross asks and she shakes her head.
"When did this happen?" she likes that he doesn't sound annoyed at her, he was simply asking to iron out the details.
"After you left the other night... I couldn't sleep because I needed to tell him about Dylan... he came round and I told him... everything" he nods.
"How did he react?"
"Fine... Good. He was really understanding..." she knows if she tells him the rest he'd probably feel a little hurt but she can't stop herself now.
"We ended up falling asleep... nothing happened.. we just cuddled... and we woke the next morning and he tried to kiss me... but I didn't let him" she explains and Ross nods.
"Why?" he asks, wanting to know if the reason had anything to do with him.
"Partly because we work together... mainly because of you" she admits and Ross can't help the huge smile that breaks out across his face. His brain seems to ignore the fact that she didn't once say she didn't want him to kiss her.
"Ross.... I" she goes to say that she does feel something towards Matty but the door behind them opens, revealing Matty himself.
"Mind if I steal her for a second?" Matty says and she turns away from him, her hand falling from Ross' not going unnoticed by the curly haired man standing in the doorway. She inhales more weed, before she's stubbing it out.
"Please" her eyes snap to him and she immediately sees the sincerity and she nods, looking at Ross and nodding, letting him know it was okay.
He stands and Matty takes his place. He leaves them, still happy she didnt kiss Matty because of him.
"I'm really sorry Y/n" he takes her hand in his, she thinks about pulling back but doesn't.
"I dont really know what you want me to say Matty..."
"Say you forgive me" he brings her hand up to his lips, pressing gently against the skin, right where Ross' landed, she immediately pulls away and stands. He looks up at her for a second, before he stands.
"That is not how it works Matty... not how this works" she gestures between them "you cant just ignore me for days after I open up to you about something that was one of the hardest things I've ever been through and then be a dick to me in the studio and then just say 'sorry' and expect me to just forgive you" she argues and he frowns.
"You said you were fine!" she really feels like slapping him then but she refrains.
"Don't be stupid Matty! I still lost my brother and I've dealt with that but I still was vulnerable with you and you completely shut me out!" he knows, he knows no matter how long after someone's death, part of you remains the same, lost and empty without them, no matter if the other parts of you have healed or not. He feels stupid.
"Y/n/n... I'm so sorry... honestly, I'm not just saying that, I really am. I've been an idiot, a selfish one. And I'm genuinely so so sorry" she sees the sincerity in his eyes and it has her own eyes watering.
"Y/n..." he steps towards her and brings her into his embrace, soothing her as she cried.
"I thought you hated me..." she admits and he coos at her, hand soothing down her back, over Ross' jumper. He was so stupid to make this whole situation about that, he was so selfish to make it about him and about Ross, when she was there, bearing her deepest struggles to him.
"I could never hate you and I'm so sorry I ever made you think that" he says, she pulls back slightly and his thumbs find her tear coated cheeks, running along the smooth skin and removing the tears before they fell further.
"You're very pretty when you cry, maybe I should make you cry more often" she doesnt appreciate the joke and shoves him (but only gently), head finding his chest again.
"You're mean" she says and he chuckles, lips finding the top of her head.
"I'm sorry I made it about me" he says into the top of her head, pressing another soothing kiss to her hair.
"Just because I wouldn't kiss you" he doesn't appreciate the joke this time, mumbling a "not fair"
"Bet you would've let Ross kiss you" the comment is uncalled for and she sighs but doesn't budge from his embrace. If only he knew... She suddenly feels awful and she knows what she needs to do...
"Don't do that Matty..." he frowns above her, not that she sees, because when his fingertips find her chin and pull her gently until she's looking at her, she sees a small smile.
"Forget I mentioned it okay?" she nods. She wouldn't forget. She couldn't.
"This has all got a bit out of hand" she laughs and he does too, pulling her into one last hug before letting go.
"Ross is good for you... he deserves you" Matty says and she doesn't know why, but it stumps her.
"Matty... it's... its not like that" liar she thinks. It most definitely was like that. She was wearing his hoodie for Christ sake and she hadn't been able to get him off her mind since that first kiss or since any others shared since.
"Well if it was... you'd have my blessing" she doesn't like that. Not in the slightest. As silly and delusional as it sounded, she wanted him to say it wasn't okay, to demand she picked him instead, maybe that way it would make the decision easier (it wouldn't) .
"Okay...." her voice trails off and she suddenly feels awkward.
Dont lie Matty... he thinks. Tell her it's not okay, tell her that he knew she wanted Ross but tell her that you want her to want you, to need you.
"It really hurt when you threw my own words back at me like that" she says after a moment of silence, she really wants to get away from the topic of Ross and her mind short circuited back to this. He takes her in, her eyes which we're slightly glossy, her bottom lip that rutted out just a little bit, two little dents on her chin from pouting.
He pulls her in quicker than he ever has before. He pushes down all his ego, all the feelings that being rejected conjured up.
"I am so sorry Y/n... I get like that sometimes... I can't promise it won't happen again, I'd love to... But I can't" she wanted to tell him she wouldn't forgive him if he did something like this again, but she knew she would.
"I don't want to hurt you..." His lips are back on her head, she feels warm in his embrace and despite his previous words, she feels safe, like he'd never hurt her, not purposefully anyway.
"So don't" her words are barely there, whispered into his chest, but he hears them. He wishes it was that simple, but he also knew himself, and he knew he couldn't promise that.
"I'll try love... I'll try" she nods.
"Have you been struggling to sleep? You look tired" she says, her hands pushing back his curls slightly. His eyes flutter momentarily before he's staring down at her again. He nods his head.
"Our late night phone calls had become a ritual to be honest... couldn't fall sleep without hearing you on the other side of the phone" he admits and she raises her eyebrows up at him.
"That's your doing Healy" she says.
"I know... wont happen again, trust me" he says and she knows its not true. She knows it most likely will happen again, she's convinced that's their dynamic, she thinks they're almost too similar in some ways. She knew, deep in her soul, that they'd hurt each other in the end, but that they'd also heal each other.
He pulls her into another hug.
"You make it hard to be around you" his confession is sort of backhanded, something that could be taken both ways. Truthfully she doesn't know how to take it. She pulls away from him and frowns up at him.
"What do you mean?" She asks and he sighs deeply, pulling her back once more, not wanting to say any more heart renching admissions to her face.
"It's hard to be around you when I want you like this" he admits. Her stomach flips. Hearing him say she wanted her, it did something to her. Set her alight. She doesn't say anything. And neither does she, for a second.
"Forget I said anything yeah?" Another kiss to her head and then he pulls her back by her chin, only letting her go when she nods.
She wouldn't forget. She couldn't.
"Lets get back yeah?" he asks. She nods. He walks, she follows. Staring at the back of his head, the curls bobbing as he walks up the steps.
What the fuck? she thinks... this whole situation just keeps getting more confusing.
She wants nothing more than to turn him around, say "You cant want to kiss me one minute and then tell me I have your blessing to get with your best friend the next and THEN say you want me", she wants to demand a clear answer. But she doesn't. She returns back to the studio, where everyone watches her intently, half expecting her to snap again. But she doesn't.
And at the end of the session, when the band have slowly filtered out, George has gone home, Matty and Ross walk her home. Together.
(12) June
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nessamaurice · 4 years
Text
Simple, Ch. 11 (Loki x F!Reader)
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Summary: Tony and the Avengers are in desperate need of something like a “babysitter” to have an eye on Loki and teach him “how to human”. He decided to stay on Midgard over the dungeons of Asgard as punishment for his deeds in New York. That’s where you swoop in. A simple receptionist at the Avengers compound. You have to share an apartment in the compound with Loki and damn, he’s a really tough nut. With your open and kind character it seems that you are slowly cracking his shell. But suddenly things are getting twists that will change your life and your relationships there irreversibly.
Story rating: M
Chapter trigger warnings: PTSD/flash back, trauma
Words: 2845
11
Your whole body hurt incredibly as you opened your eyes. Terrified you saw that you were back at that awful lab, dozens of needles sticking deeply in your skin. You couldn't focus correctly and thus didn't saw what was happening right in front of you. You felt electrodes getting glued on your head and started screaming to the top of your lungs as the burning pain pierced into your brain.
"Y/N! Y/N, wake up! It's just a dream, it's alright!"
Carefully being shaken you slipped back into reality. As you opened your eyes you saw a very concerned Loki looking down on you, loose black locks framing his face. In that moment you realized you were still screaming and shut up the next second. Loki looked up from you like to someone else and said something but you were too drowsy to follow the actions. Tears were rolling down your temples and you were trembling. It was just so cold...  Half asleep, half awake you turned on your side and curled up so tightly that you were just a little human ball, clasping your legs and pulling them up to your chest so that you could burry half your face between your knees. Shaking you tried to fall asleep again but it just didn't work; you knew that it wouldn't within seconds. Quietly you started to cry without knowing why exactly. You gasped as you felt hands at your shins. Loki had brought a soft, woolen blanket and tugged it neatly under your legs so that your front was completely covered, except for a small gap for your face so you could breathe. But your back was still uncovered so you wanted to roll around and pull the blanket over your shoulders as the mattress behind you dipped a bit. An arm wrapped around you under the blanket and pulled you slightly backwards to the warm body laying down behind you. Loki curled up to your back and held you.
"Don't worry, I'm by your side. You will not slip from my grip, nothing can happen to you. I'm with you. You are not alone."
***
You slowly awakened and the first thing your brain recognized was a familiar scent. Fresh linen and leather. You opened your eyes and saw an open book, held by big hands that were clearly not yours. You felt a chin lightly touching the top of your head. Then slowly the memory came back and you recalled your nightmare and how you got comforted into sleep again. Heat was rushing to your cheeks, being aware of the full body contact behind you while Loki slowly changed pages, not realizing you were awake. You stiffened completely, not knowing how to react. Loki noticed the change in your muscles and whispered your name.
"Are you awake?"
You awkwardly cleared your throat. "Ahem, yes. I'm sorry. How long have I slept?"
"It is now 10 am the next morning, so you slept a good amount of hours. What did you apologize for?" He spoke with a low voice; you felt the vibration of its sound where his chest touched your back.
You still didn't know how to move, so you stayed right there, totally stiff. But you had to admit, being so close to him was extremely calming. "That you had to climb here in with me. I'm pretty sure you're not really the cuddle type." You laughed nervously.
"You may be right, this is not something I would declare common for me. But I know what to do to calm down a traumatized person having something like a panic attack. And I’ve been in far more uncomfortable situations." 
You could hear him smiling with the last sentence which just made you blush even more. It was so long ago since you’ve been close to somebody. To anybody. Your muscles began to relax a bit and the fact he didn't move away reassured you a bit. 
"What are you reading?" You suddenly wanted to know, surprising yourself.
Loki closed the book with the finger he had on its cover. You immediately threw your hand against your forehead in shame.
"Oh my god. Where did you get this from? Why are you even reading it?"
"Your uncle brought some of your books from your room and I got bored. Not that watching you sleep isn't entertaining, but at some point I wanted to get my thoughts elsewhere. So I grabbed the first book from the stack and the title sounded truly interesting."
"Wait... what?" Now you turned to face him, "Watching me sleep is entertaining?" You imagined yourself snoring and drooling onto his arm and wanted to sink into the earth right away.
Ignoring your comment he just went on, seriously looking at the book, "Star Wars - The Phantom Menace. How could I resist? And, to my own surprise, it is not as bad as I expected your human literature to be. It clearly has lots of flaws regarding numerous techniques of writing and storytelling, but for such a young civilisation it could have been worse."
"You only say that because you haven't seen the movie."
Loki pulled his arm from beneath your head and pushed himself up on it, looking down at you.
"There's a movie from this?"
You turned around, now lying on your back, with a surprised expression.
"You know what movies are?"
All he did was giving you pouty look before he elegantly swung off the bed.
"I better get you something to eat before you get too impudent."
You watched him as he strode out of the room. You caught yourself biting on your lower lip and directly scolded yourself. You explained it with the hunger you felt in your stomach and not with any other kind of... hunger. He wasn’t even your typical “type of prey”. But you had to admit you felt calmer when he was around. He had some kind of aura that made you feel… understood. Acknowledged. Safe. You stroked over a shaved part of your head to distract you. It already turned scrubby, except for the parts where the electrodes were stuck to your head, leaving bald circles. You looked down at your arms, at the slowly healing cuts. You could recall how you got each single one of them, you would never forget that. You felt the burning of every single wound, you could locate them in your mind. Not only your skin would stay scarred for the rest of your life, your mind would never be the same again, too. You were marked, inside and out. Always to be identified as a victim of Hydra. Not only a victim, but a tool as well. You hurt others just to keep yourself a little less unharmed. You penetrated their minds, their feelings and covered them with your own, forced them to feel differently than they naturally would. You looked down at your hands and suddenly got the intense urge to peel off the skin of your palms. Just that moment the glass door of the medical room you were in opened and Loki entered with a tablet loaded with the most different things for breakfast. You quickly rose your head and felt like you've been caught doing something bad. You watched his face turn from a relaxed smile into a severely concerned expression.
"By the Allfathers, what happened?" 
He paced the room towards you with just a few steps, put the tablet on the table next to your bed and sat down in front of you, taking your face gently into his big hands. You weren't able to meet his eyes.
"My dear, look at me. Come on. Speak with me.", he softly encouraged you.
Hesitantly you looked into his face. He wiped with his thumb over your cheek, that was when you realized you were crying.
"I... I am a monster." You choked on your sobbing voice. "They made me a monster! Look at these-" You raised your palms a bit and looked down on them "Everyone I touch will be like an open book to me, they will not be able to choose what I’m allowed to know. And even worse… they will be forced to feel what I feel. Their souls will be plastered over with my own emotions." You suddenly looked up to Loki. "They made me a mental rapist for the rest of my life!" Your eyes got lost looking around the room as you realized what you just said. "Oh my god..." You covered your mouth with your hands as you started to sob uncontrollably. Loki pulled you to his chest and held you tight.
"I am so sorry this happened to you. I know it is too early for you to accept this, but just let me tell you, you are no monster. For sure not. I know what I am talking about, believe me. ... Do you want me to get your uncle here? He was forced to leave for a mission and I promised to look after you, but if you prefer his company I am sure he-"
"No, don't. Don't leave. Please." You grabbed his shirt and held on it for dear life. You didn't want to be alone again. As soon as he would leave your side you knew the horrific memories and thoughts would come back immediately. "I'm so sorry" you wept into his chest.
"It's okay. Of course I'm staying. Do not apologize my dear." He pressed you a bit closer to him.
Loki looked over to the door and was surprised to see his brother coming along the glass front and just as he wanted to open the glass door he saw the scene and stopped mid-movement, obviously confused. Loki slightly shook his head and pointed to the side, meaning him to leave. He conjured an illusion of himself a bit further away in the corridor to speak to his brother without disturbing you.
"Hello, brother."
"Loki? What is going on? Why are you holding this crying woman? Who is she? What did you do?" Thor walked out of view towards his brother's illusion.
Loki rolled his eyes before he answered "That is Y/N. I am not the reason she is in this abysmal condition. She got kidnapped and tortured by that Hydra cult over a week ago. We managed to save her, but it took us a few days. They injured her body and her soul severely. It appeared that she has empathic powers and Hydra forced them to the surface, now she is able to feel other's feelings and even to alter them only by touching them with her hands. It is hard for her to cope with that."
"By the Allfathers, that are awful news. Does she need any support from our home?"
"I don't think that would be good. Midgardian souls are different, we don't know how the effects would be on the long term."
"Yes, you are right." Thor stopped for a moment and looked Loki deeply in the eyes. "And you are comforting her?" He raised his eyebrows. "I never thought you are able of being that sensitive."
Loki sighed, "Well, brother, unlike you, obviously, I can be perfectly sensible if I want to. And again, unlike you, I know what she feels like right now. I have been in familiar situations.“ He paused talking to Thor as he said some comforting words to you. „I have to leave now, if you would excuse me."
"Of course, Loki. Let me tell you that I am as surprised as I am impressed. I am truly happy that you found a person that brings this part of you to the daylight. Farewell for now, brother." Thor wanted to leave, but stopped. “Mother would have been really proud of you.” Then he gave him a short smile before he walked through the illusion, causing it to disappear.
Now his attention was fully yours again, though the words of his brother echoed in his head. But he had no time to let that sink in, not now. He pulled away a bit and touched your chin to move it upwards, making you face him.
"Y/N, if you feel comfortable with that, I want you to know that you can tell me anything. If one day you feel like you want to talk about what happened to you in there, know that I will always be there listening. I want to help you heal. I wanted to offer that to you earlier, but I backed away."
You looked him dead in the eye, wiped over your wet face and asked him a question he was visibly surprised by.
"Why? Why do you want that? Not that I am not thankful for that, but at first you were different towards me. Cold, distant, skeptical. Now you are so sweet and caring. I just don't understand that. ...Why?" You grabbed a tissue to clean your face while you watched him writhe on the inside. But you really wanted to know that- needed to know that. You really wanted to trust him, but that question became more and more present in your subconscious. After all he did, after all that happened to him, it seemed somehow counterintuitive. You expected him to be hardened after all that, and that it would take so much time and patience to get to his core. You watched his face carefully. He went from confusion to reluctance, brushing along temper but finally settled with surrender. He closed his eyes and sighed, searching for the right words to start with. He turned to directly face you.
"I knew you were different from the first moment I saw you. There was no... contempt, no prejudice in you. Just curiosity and maybe a bit of fear", he smiled as he said that, "Every human I met by now looked at me with this certain look. This look that mirrors how I view myself and it's like a confirmation of all the evil in me. But you... And as you moved in it appeared that you really wanted to help me. And you were so... compassionate. It didn't took me long to define why I like to be around you. You met my reservedness not with impatience but with forbearance. You let me know that you actually wanted to be there with me, not like you were forced or that you had to endure my company for some other advantage or reward. It felt like you counted me getting a bit more open as your reward. You really wanted me to feel comfortable with you and offered me so many options to get closer without becoming pushy. You gave me time to think and sort out my words when we spoke; something I never did, I always have been very quick with my tongue but that led me nowhere. It is new for me to think about how my words would affect others truly. And you took everything I said serious. All that gives you such a wonderful aura, an inner glow I feel very attracted to. I didn't mean to get so close to you in such a short time, that's not my way to act. But when I saw you there, being captured and obviously tortured, I knew I have to overcome my restraint and pride and be there for you, just like you deserved it. And I knew pretty well what you would need once we got you back here. I have been in familiar situations so often in my life and I know exactly what I would have needed back then but no one was really there for me; noone who would have been able to understand. And I pushed away the very few ones that tried to. I don't want you to feel like I did and thus endanger your beautiful soul to harden. I cannot allow this to happen. Well, and that is why I am willing to give you all the comfort and intimacy you need to cope with this dreadful situation you are in. I hope my honesty will help you to trust me. And, if you allow, let me emphasize my candour." By saying that he slowly took your hand in his, your palm up, and covered it with his other hand. You audibly gasped as his emotions rushed through you. Every word he said appeared to be true, you could feel everything, he wanted you to feel it. Being confronted with so much genuineness almost overstrained you. You could do nothing but stare in his blue-green eyes. It felt like an eternity but you could not manage to let go of his hands or to look away. You noticed yourself moving towards him without knowing why. You simply wanted to be closer to him. You felt so vulnerable right now and you wanted to feel safe again. His gaze was concentrated on your eye that wasn’t patched up and suddenly his emotions changed into thrill, almost electrifying you. Both of you were a complete mess but it felt so right.
Taglist: @it-jinxed-us ​, @humbledarkness​, @lunawitch19, @redryderdesigns​
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