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#and idk if any medical ward that isn't the emergency one would work these days. so. eh
daz4i
ยท
1 year
Text
man you ever wanna die just so you don't have to deal with the shit that is real life
#i mean ik i don't count bc i wanna die period. but this situation makes it even more so.
#which is ironic bc the problem is i am in danger lol. but statistically speaking one is more likely to get injured than killed
#and that is something i do NOT want ๐ idm dying - i encourage it even. i wish i did tonight - but getting severely injured is the worst
#- thing that could happen to me i think. it's actually my biggest fear. it's essentially the only reason I'm not dead yet
#(bc if it weren't for that fear i would just try to kms on a daily basis lmao ๐ญ)
#I'm just... very tired. i don't wanna live in fear. but that's impossible. my only other option here is death
#this isn't even getting into the everyday life shit. i was supposed to send some files to set up some medical test
#but idk if there's any point until the war ends?? like i won't be getting out any time soon probably
#and idk if any medical ward that isn't the emergency one would work these days. so. eh
#i lost track there. what i was going at is that through all this i also have my regular pains to worry about
#and ofc my regular mental shit too. I'm doing badly enough as is lmao ๐ญ
#vent
#negative //
#suicide //
#ask to tag
#blegh. i hate it here
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