#blegh. i hate it here | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

daz4i · 1 year

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man you ever wanna die just so you don't have to deal with the shit that is real life

#i mean ik i don't count bc i wanna die period. but this situation makes it even more so.#which is ironic bc the problem is i am in danger lol. but statistically speaking one is more likely to get injured than killed #and that is something i do NOT want 😐 idm dying - i encourage it even. i wish i did tonight - but getting severely injured is the worst #- thing that could happen to me i think. it's actually my biggest fear. it's essentially the only reason I'm not dead yet #(bc if it weren't for that fear i would just try to kms on a daily basis lmao 😭)#I'm just... very tired. i don't wanna live in fear. but that's impossible. my only other option here is death #this isn't even getting into the everyday life shit. i was supposed to send some files to set up some medical test #but idk if there's any point until the war ends?? like i won't be getting out any time soon probably #and idk if any medical ward that isn't the emergency one would work these days. so. eh #i lost track there. what i was going at is that through all this i also have my regular pains to worry about #and ofc my regular mental shit too. I'm doing badly enough as is lmao 😭#vent #negative //#suicide //#ask to tag #blegh. i hate it here

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floral-hex · 7 months

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woke up at 4am feeling the weight of my life crushing me, so I’ve been sitting out in my car for the last couple of hours because I just need. to. be. somewhere else.

#tumblr ate something like this but I think I deserve to shout uselessly into the void #shits rough dawg #I know it’s rough for everyone. I feel shitty even talking about myself. still… compelled to vent… big butts #haven’t really been on here much since it hasn’t really scratched that itch lately & just makes me feel lonelier #it’s cold #saw the Jazzercise studio open across the street. 5am for Jazzercise? wow. early.#and then everyone left an hour and a half later. lights out. everybody gone. weird schedule. I am perplexed.#went down the road and got a soda and I’ve been sitting in my driveway contemplating for the last 2.5 hours #guy at the gas station tried to talk to me but I just half assed a smile and nod and left #even though I know I’d love to just… talk to someone. I suppose it has to be ‘on my terms’ whatever those are #I miss having a therapist. or even just when my little brothers would talk to me. when anyone would. blegh #my insurance is still a mess and I’m about to run out of one of my blood pressure meds this week #maybe I’ll have a stroke. scary to think about. I think about dying a lot but that potential feels too real. just… pop! and I’m done.#I’ll try today to finally push to straighten it out but everything feels daunting #woke up with so much anxiety. about my health. my hearing. no money. my life. had to get out of the house even if it’s just right outside #hate to say it but I need(want) thc. haven’t wanted to spend money on it but I could have really used it this morning #can’t be sad if you can’t feel anything (jokingly but also not. whichever is less sad sounding)#actually treated myself to Dune 2 last week and it was so so good. wish I could go again. but it’s drugs food or movie right now. so…#I know. dumb priority but BIG SCREEN. maybe it’ll hit theaters again for the next awards season hopefully. just a real nice loud experience #anyway… I should go inside. almost 7am. need to take my brothers to school then drive my mom to her daily appointments #I’ve felt so hollow and angry and sad for so long it feels like. I feels so weak and sad and I’m tired of it. I’m so tired.#I’ve been eating about 1 meal a day and sleeping a lot. this is the worst my body has ever been. I feel like I’m just waiting to die.#is this relatable?#just have to look past it. it is nothing. this body is nothing. just enjoy your soda.#gonna look at pictures of butts now #ok gotta go I love you goodbye forever #you can ignore this #text

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kairithemang0 · 2 months

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call me as many slurs as you want and it’ll barely phase me but if you call me penis lacker (derogatory) I will beat the shit out of you and then cry for hours

#Being trans sucks #Dysphoriaing #It happens every year at this fucking camp i swear #Like everything is gendered why must I be trapped here #I was talking to my therapist about this and I think we came to the conclusion half the reason I hate it there is bcs im surrounded #By people who make me feel dysphoric #Just the idea of being put into this box of “girl”#Blegh #sorry going through it rn #Today was overall ok tho #New group of kids is working for me #I explained the plot of saf to them #One of them found my curtwen fanart and lost her shit bcs omg gay boys #She’s chill tho we sit and draw together #Her art style is FUCKING ADORABLE she draws these little fruit dragons

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balmungkriemhild · 6 months

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Mihoyo should have made boothill a butch lesbian i know she would've done numbers

(consider donating to my Ko-fi, thank you!)

#Boothill #honkai: star rail #Vio's Art Tag #hi idk what else to tag this thing as......#i have an alternate version on twitter where i added a bunch of memes instead of the chibis but i didn't wanna post it here cause blegh #i dont really have much to say uhhh. i hate my job as usual. i am still gay. i like my stupid anime girls.#it's 1:30 am GOODNIGHT！！！！！！！！！！！！！！　(fades into dust)

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mysticsnoopy · 7 months

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i'm gonna say it.

i think some of you guys are too mean on heartstopper for no actual good reason.

just because a media is targeted towards teens doesn't lessen its value as queer media. i'm not saying its devoid of critique or anything. it can be like any other queer media. but like any queer media it has a right to exist.

i've been seeing a lot of cynical losers spur on about the show for being what it is; a teen romcom.

while i completely understand (and even agree) with the critique that the "cutest gay stuff" is clearly favoured by companies as it's easy marketability instead of more adult queer media, that doesn't have to do with the media itself. it has to do with companies seeing creativity through marketability, not for what it is.

#btw im not a fan of like the show or comic (i previously was but mostly as a younger queer person and more of a casual fan)#im not defending it at that base. i'm mostly just commenting on a phenomenon ive seen of people judging it on an unfair lens #because its not supposed to be an adult show. its clearly for queer teenagers and thats ok. good even! it teaches queer kids hope.#hope of community and friendship and love. i know as a queer kid i needed that. and im still a fan of the adult stuff!#overtime most queer kids will grow out of it and find more adult centric queer media. that's simply how these things work.#anyways im trying not to rant here. that is my very simplyfied thoughts on heartstopper hate.#blegh!#snoopblog

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navysealt4t · 11 months

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does any one else just wanna run away

#like. god #i hate this house #realistically i live in about the worst possible state to run away in #but like god. the the thrill of being free for a few hours yknow #i just wanna get out of here #blegh. blegh #i have so many feelings i don’t know how to say #but. i feel like i haven’t been hurt enough to be ‘traumatized’ but also not normal enough to be. normal #i feel fucking stupid #vent

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lo-cinno · 10 months

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A treat for @callilouv

You’re welcome you hoe

Walking into the tavern, you spot the one you were looking for immediately. Sitting right at the corner of the bar, leaning back with his drink in his hand, neon blue eyes carefully scanning all the patrons with a bored look on his face.

Of course, he spots you looking at him, and a smirk crawls onto his lips, setting down his drink and beckoning you over to him.

“Missed me again so soon, little lamb?”

He looks at you with a knowing smile, a devilish look in his eyes. Seems he’s decided to have you entertain him for now…

#i hate him i hate it here disgusting ew can’t believe i wrote this heurgh blegh #i was holding myself at gunpoint writing this #i tried my best to write this dunno if its any good bc like i said i dont rmb how to write so yeah #need to go bleach my whole existence after writing for him now gbye #ik i alrdy bought you the diamonds but that still felt too cheap to me so I decided to throw this in as well #tho it still doesnt feel enough tbh #locked~[erebus]

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indigodawns · 10 months

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#guess who got covid again!!!#my friend who lives on the floor below me + his partners got it and they kept their door open which made me Nervous #but i was like ugh don't be mean etc im sure it's fine and id wrap my scarf over my nose and mouth at least and wash my hands #but thursday evening i was like oh no. oh feels Bad and friday was fucking awful i think i had a migraine on top of it #but saturday was okayish! so i ordered food and i added a note saying please feel free to leave it near the door #but they didn't see/didn't speak dutch so i had to get it from them anyway and i kept my distance in between but blegh blegh #idk i just hate this i hate thinking who i mightve infected i hate that this means im stuck here for another week i hate our fk government #and i hate my own spinelessness #and something about. what else is going on beside covid? oh yeah fucking genocides. jfc.

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lynnbutlertron · 1 year

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i got that test today.. fuck !

#BLEGH #should be revising rn but #i really don’t want to #my brain has never been so rotted for revision #i can’t do it #i hate it here #rambles #doodles

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mortysmith · 2 years

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i’m kinda angry about [redacted] becoming canon but at least they didn’t make willow hunter’s therapist…

YEAH im not exactly Satisfied but all things considered it could have gone worse

#asks #toh spoilers #im gonna talk more spoilerishly here ->#i understand the show probs just didnt have enough time to properly flesh them out but blegh #its especially unsatisfying bcs AT LEAST 2 ME prior to this episode willow didnt really show much interest??#with lmty at least u ahd both of them being awkward blushy dorks #and i get willow isnt the super flustered type ? i guess but her interactions w/hunter felt pretty platonic haha #whatever but yeah im glad she wasnt reduced to the therapist comfort friend #actually neat that the ep addressed how stressed she is willow love of my life willow #like the way they got together #like hunter assuring and comforting her #i dont hate it!!!#its just up to this point they have nooottt felt very m #MUTUAL

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sad--tree · 1 year

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am having the weirdest issue w/ this dvd i bought online, where like, it plays but the video is deeply fucked up and jerky/skipping therefore unsyncing it from the audio (which is fine). BUT. only on the xbox. i found one single solitary review saying it ended up working fine on a regular dvd player and lo and behold, tried it on my dad's laptop and it's true! How? Why? Who Fucking Knows! Now i gotta go dig our fucking oldass dvd player outta basement storage bc lord knows neither my new laptop nor my old laptop has one -_-

it's fuckin weird, tho, right? Like, there were other amazon reviews mentioning the issue but just the one about the xbox vs dvd drive thing, and there were def other ppl positively reviewing the dvd itself and not just the movie (they mentioned the extra features). i also kept finding one-off comments on various reddit threads that mention the issue but never any resolution. i even logged on to facebook (gag) on my computer and scrolled alllllll the way back to 2017/2018 on the movie's official fb page and again. just the occasional comment about the issue and like 1 single reply on 1 comment mentioning the xbox thing ://///

#also its just. not a gr8 quality dvd? its NOT a bootleg but u could be forgiven 4 thinking so based on packaging #and the video is a lot more grainy than when i watched on streaming. AND theres no captions !!!! unforgivable imho #it shouldnt be a region issue bc wouldnt it just. not play then? plus its an american release anyways #im very annoyed tbh and i want a replacement not a refund but it doesnt give me that option on amazon.....#the aforementioned fb comment reply said that updating the xbox's firmware/software might resolve the issue #but we already have ours set to update automatically so it Should be up to date anyways......#ah well. literally only bought it bc of extra scenes/bts stuff but still :( be nice 2 not have 2 find and set up a whole nother device.....#ended up buying a digital copy plus the 2 others in the trilogy since they didnt even get physical releases.....#blegh. hate this digital movie library shit. i dont even know the signin for the microsoft account bc its a shared console!#i DID see some1 online say that they ripped the dvd and could then play THAT on the xbox but that is. beyond my limited knowledge #bro i dont even buy blurays idk wtf im doing here #the fb page does still seem 2 be updating abt recent projects but the website isnt up any longer so. 🤷#its not a Big Name Movie ig they have outright said on the fb page that eg. they couldnt afford 2 also do a bluray release or smth idek #this whole thing is baffling honestly

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floral-hex · 2 months

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hi. I’m still alive (mostly).

still moving stuff from one apartment to the next. It sucks. Everything is a mess. I hate stairs and, for some reason, boxes of books are very heavy.

now I get why they call these the dog days of summer, because this shit is ruff 😰

#I’m dyin here #I won’t but I have def thought about just wheeling everything out to the dumpster and starting over with nothing #which is a no go but ya know… it’s a nice thought #have to be officially out of the old place by the 1st and I just feel so overwhelmed #it’s the stairs. I hate them #I’m so used to a first floor apartment. you just unload your boxes onto a dolly and roll them inside. easy.#but having to carry/drag/whatever boxes of books and dressers up stairs is killing me #I hate stairs!#my therapist was suggesting I go get a gym membership to help buff up which is….#good idea in general ya know. exercise. good for body and mind. but that won’t help me THIS WEEK #so for right now I’m a soft weak and struggling to get situated #and I’ve just been feeling very melancholic lately. just week and sad and a big bummer #and tumblr still isn’t really hitting that spot ya know?#nothing really interesting on here for me lately 🫤#but anyway… okay… yeah… that’s my complaining for you. you’re welcome #I’m not going back to fix any of those spelling errors. y’all aren’t even reading this. blegh #I love you. goodbye forever.#you can ignore this #text

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fish-around-and-find-out · 1 year

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If When I get out of this place, I'm never eating seafood again

#I've long since run outta the stuff they had in here #I tried to live off of some of the vegetation around (which I'm pretty sure I poisoned myself at least once) for a while #but then I nearly passed out trying to climb back into the lifepod #Probably cause the lack of protein. Anyway I hit my head on the way down and that was enough of a motivator #to try and eat some of the fish #It's... you have to get used to it #i hate that the one with the giant eye is the most nutritious #blegh #[ AUDIO LOGS. ] - ic

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violet-amet · 2 years

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brain cant focus on reading, though i really want to. ironic. also i want a coquito all of a sudden.

#blah blah blabbity blah #id rather have a virgin one over rum.#also i hate how my brain just betrays me like this.#all i want to do was read the book i bought recently and waited for patiently to get here.#now im just. not here mentally.#stressful. blegh.

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vampirebeyotch · 2 years

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did u guys know i have a toothache and the dentist is closed. i’m being so so brave about it

#bc it was weekend/holiday but now it’s snowed/there’s ice on the roads #so like thank god i got some antibiotics before the ice but blegh #hate it here #i always get sick at the most inconvenient times #em

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ethrinityskullz · 2 months

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Hey mf'ers I like cheaper gas and so does literally everyone (except the government. Because god forbid we have reasonable prices)

You've probably heard upside app ads before, I am informing y'all that upside works and that i love the app not ONLY because of cheaper gas and shit but because when your ever people, you also get like. One can't per gallon they guy using upaide or anything like that

So hey if you aren't already using upside you should and also you should use my referral code and give me like five cents a week since spare cash is nice (also when you use a referral I'm pretty sure you get like 15c/gal off the first fill up you do or smth)

Referral code if you don't like trusting links-> CHERRY2273

Referral link if you want -> https://upside.app.link/CHERRY2273

#shamelessly promoting my referral code #pov youve been in and out of jobs for several months and need any money you can get #id love to do commissions but yinow. that rrquires me to have an art tablet with which tod raw because either suck at mouse #also as much as i believe in my traditional skills i hate trying to photo it and lighting and blegh #anyway yeah here you go.

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