#and idk like its so stupid to be upset that i cant afford a concert because i didnt save enough and i spent what i did save
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wont be around today bc i am doing a lil rough mentally but i love u all and will probably b back soon
#negative cw#i just have. I've spent a Long Time kind of. i kept telling myself i had to keep going so i could see the eras tour#and that if i could just get through a few more months there'd be an announcement and a few more months and the concert#but its. its not gonna happen#shes not coming here and i kept having things come up that i had to spend my savings on#and my $100 in savings is not getting my tickets to the tour let alone tickets and flights to aus and accommodation#and it has just stung all day but also been numb all day just this. this feeling that. so much was riding on this#and idk like its so stupid to be upset that i cant afford a concert because i didnt save enough and i spent what i did save#and like there are more important things in the world and better things to save money for#and my roommates got some really good news and it specifically revolves around money#and they deserve it bc they have been struggling for a long time and this is gonna make their lives so much better#and they deserve it so much#but some part of me just. it hurts#but also i had my turn i got my big trip to europe and it objectively does not matter how i felt during that trip#bc it was still a huge privilege#but i just. things got real bad for me in december and nothing has fallen back into place it has just gotten worse#and this is such a stupid thing to be upset about but i just had my heart set on being able to see it. on surviving to see it#and i can't
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