#and idk why i even have this lotion but everything is dry and itchy so i was like hey im gonna treat myself to some basic self care

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

uh oh! worlds stupidest little guy used the wrong lotion and now everything smells like my childhood bathroom and the year is 2016 and its february which means its almost valentines day which is perhaps the most accursed date on the calendar and the year is 2016 and your least favorite little guy is in full blown survival panic mode!

[thisiswhymomworries]

Week Two

hey it's ya boi back again for a week two transition update! boring info first, then a summary of what's been going on

When: 10/26/19 - 11/1/19 (started T on 10/18/19)

Testosterone: I'm using Androderm, which is a daily patch you stick on exactly like a nicotine patch

Dosage: 2 mg per day, although you can get them in 5 mg per day patches

Changes: Increased hunger (again), new pimples, slightly darker leg hair?, orgasms easier to achieve and feels 20% better

OK so I'm putting the stuff about that last change below the cut lol, along with the bullshit bad side effects from the patches

check out my week one post if you want to know how the increased hunger started off. it's still going though, but it does feel like I'm finally evening out, where I know how hungry I get now and when. for anyone who missed the week one post, the increased hunger means I get hungry a lot sooner than I used to (1-2 hours) and feel it more intensely. this is a difference only eating half to 3/4 of a sandwich, plus some chips, to being able to eat a whole sandwich, 1/4 a bag of chips, and dessert

the redness around my most common breakout areas (as I remember from First Puberty) has developed into one big actual pimple on my chin, and a couple smaller ones around my lip. still some redness on my forehead, but no pimples up there yet. I'm not doing any skincare routine at the moment, but I'm planning on adding a facial wash to my next grocery shopping trip

my leg hair might be slightly darker? idk it's hard to compare bc it's always been so light and fine, I don't have any pictures of it bc I've never been able to SEE it. I never even bothered shaving my thighs when I was femme bc you'd never know without physically touching my leg. the difference now though is that I can see it! so I think it must be a little darker to be actually visible now. no change in how much body hair I have though

tw: this next part does talk about genitals, and I'm using clit / vagina to describe things bc that's what I'm comfortable with. I know that's not the norm for most trans guys though, so skip down to the asterisks in the middle if you need to skip this part

I'm including this bc I couldn't find any good info from an actual trans guy about "downstairs" changes that wasn't actually just porn. scrolling through a thousand trans dick pics on a nsfw reddit sub just to get an idea of what changes to expect was NOT fun

so far, no clit growth as far as I've noticed. I don't have bottom dysphoria, so I'm not especially hoping for it either. I also haven't noticed my libido increasing (getting horny more often), my sexual attraction shifting (yep still ace), becoming wet more often / not getting wet as easily, vaginal tightness / soreness, or any chafing

the only changes have been that I think it's a little easier to make an orgasm happen, regardless of how good the stimulation actually is. I was having a lazy jack off session and hadn't really bothered to get everything wet enough and worked up enough for it to feel as good as it could have, but still had a fucking fantastic orgasm even though the stimulation was just mehh?? so that's weird but cool I guess

the 20% is just a random ass number. I absolutely cannot do math and there's no way to actually measure this. I've just noticed that the handful of orgasms I've had since starting T have been better. not like holy shit a LOT better, but better enough that I sure as hell noticed

for context though, I don't use any sort of penetration and haven't used those types of toys in about two years. haven't had penetrative sex in seven. so if there's any vaginal atrophy, or extra tightness, soreness, etc going on down there, I might not notice as much or as quickly bc I just don't mess with that area

***

OK bullshit skin reaction from the patches. I understand why they get a bad rep because going into week two, I have started getting some pretty nasty reactions, especially since I figured out these are 24 hour patches and started leaving them on that long

the least bad reaction is on my upper arms, which just have very small circles of red skin that coincide exactly with, or are smaller than, the circle of T on the patch that's supposed to seep into your skin

second worst is my stomach, with one side having a slightly bigger red patch similar to the ones on my arms, but the other side that's a little higher up being a much darker red and a bit larger

absolute worst is on my upper thighs. the right thigh has a HUGE swollen red patch, with a big circle in the middle that looks and feels like it got sunburned by a concentrated laser. left side isn't that bad, but it only starts swelling up after you take the patch off, so it could just be taking a bit to get nasty. it's worse than the bad side on my stomach in terms of being even a little bigger than that, but also not as deeply red

this isn't all that bad though bc they don't hurt at all. I'm typing this with my laptop and a laptop table braced on my thighs and stomach right now and absolutely no pain. they don't even hurt to touch, unless I scratch at them

unfortunately, I very much want to scratch at them. so fucking bad. because they ITCH. that's the real concern here. they itch really badly, and it gets way worse when I go outside in the cold and my skin dries out. I've been putting lotion on them a couple of times a day, and that does help. I think part of this reaction is that my skin always gets dry, red, and itchy during the winter, and the patches are 1) making that worse for the area of skin they cover and 2) drying out the skin badly enough that it takes way longer to recover, plus it's always cold right now, so my skin literally can't catch a break

again, I'm not too freaked out by this because it doesn't hurt. if anything hurt, I would be hauling my ass to the doctor because I have a very low pain tolerance! it's just itchy and looks gross. I'm also kind of chill about it because I have an appointment with my endocrinologist in a week anyway, and as long as my skin isn't peeling off or hurting or bleeding, I might as well wait and go in for that appointment instead of dealing with all the hassle, bullshit, and possible extra expensive of trying to arrange something sooner

I've included pictures of the skin reactions, which are kind of gross looking but no worse than a sunburn. underneath the comparison selfies bc I'd rather ppl see me as a human being first and then as a gross dry skin monster lol 

(better with or without glasses?)

gross skin reaction pics, didn’t get good ones of my stomach tho, sorry my thighs are so fucking pasty lol

[welcometohetaliahell]

Their scents/natural smell

*just an f.y.i these are all my personal headcanons and I chose to describe them versus using a couple of words for no reason other than I wanted to. Also, there are characters like Sealand, Seychelles, Liechtenstein, and Moldova missing because in my mind they are babies and it would just be weird for me. 

The America’s 

America: His scent changes depending on where he’s coming from in the U.S., one day he could have of a pine tree scent, to him or motor oil, but generally his cologne is very metallic but underneath that is Evergreen mixed with a faint scent of gunpowder.  

Canada: This may seem stereotypical, but he smells sweet, like sugary donut pancake sweet, but that’s mixed with that crisp, fresh, winter air that comes like a week after it snows, thick, rich wood, and coffee. 

Mexico: Her scent changes based on the seasons, or in general the time of year. During the fall/winter months for the U.S. (September to March) her scent is very subtle and maybe a little dry, not like dusty, but she just smells clean and plain. But during the warmer months is when her scent can be a little overbearing. It’s hot and salty because of the heat but very fruity and sweet, it doesn’t come off as a perfume but rather like she’s eaten a bunch of fruits in one go or had been picking them. 

Cuba: He overwhelmingly smells like motor oil, but not in a bad way, like it’s mixed with sweat because I think in some ways he’s had to learn to love fixing up old cars because of his countries situation. But it’s also mixed with salt water and sand with just a hint of cigar smoke underneath. 

Europe

Britain: Britain’s changes based on the weather. If it’s raining that is the main scent with a mix of smog and motor oil. But if it’s just overcast he still smells like dim weather because it’s so common, but it’s mixed with pipe-smoke, or canon smoke, and old books.

France: This man smell’s like roses like he just does. But he doesn’t smell like the same rose, there’s always something different that may hint at specific color or type of rose, hell maybe where it was grown. He also smells like cheese, which is weird I know, but like really good cheese that when you smell it you just want a cracker with maybe a piece of ham or something and gobble it up. But underneath all that is like old grime, like old metal building grime, and sweat mainly from around the time of the industrialization of Europe and America i.e. the building of the Eifel Tower and the Statue of Liberty. 

Russia: Now like Canada he also smells like winter, but he smells like that impending snowstorm, cold winter weather that almost leaves a taste in your mouth though he burns like a furnace. I also think he smells like old brick or masonry in general. Like an old brick building that hasn’t had a fire blazing inside in a very long time.

Germany: While I want to say he smells like a beer, which he does, but that’s not his main scent. He mainly smells like the top lining on a drum kit, not the old animal hides they used to use, that has gone through a few 6+ hour long practices with a broken stick or two. Now underneath that is the beer smell, but it’s mixed with sweat and motor oil but not only does he like working out he also likes working, mainly on cars, but every once in a while a hint of wood or fire will come through.

Italy: This boy smells like a chefs kitchen, a mix of a lot of things that sometimes makes your nose itch and you wonder what the hell is cooking. But he also smells like oil paint and canvas and marble because like Germany he likes to create, just more Bob Ross and less Rudolf Diesel. 

Southern Italy: This boy like a vineyard, and I know you’ll be asking why Italy or France don’t smell like that, and idk but this boy smells like he spends every morning standing in the middle of the vineyard where the wind can pass right through him and that’s his cologne. But he also smells like shoe polish and fresh, baked bread. 

Spain: This man smells like a lot of various things and changes constantly. The most prominent thing he smells like is seafood, like battered and fried seafood with an undertone of salt. But other times he’ll smell very sweet still with that undertone of salt. 

Scotland: This man smells old, but not like the same old that China smells, but more like a castle – masonry old. And he obviously smells like smoke/nicotine because he smokes but it’s not seeped into his clothes its right around his head/neck area and everywhere else just smells like old linen. Like something you haven’t worn in a few months that’s been hanging in your closet clean but maybe you should’ve shaken it before you put it on. 

Poland: So, if you catch him when he wakes up in between showers he’ll smell spicy actually with like an undertone of rugged wilderness, like plain grass and wheat, and water. But he really likes the flowery smells of perfume so he’ll wear those a lot though he is conscious of the impact it can have on other people, so he never wears too much and he tries to go for the more shuttle scents like flowers over things like cotton candy or berry because those are really pungent.  

Lithuanian: He smells like the woods, like dead-ass middle of nowhere moss covering everything woods mixed with fresh water and sometimes things like berries with a rugged undertone of dirt and evergreen that was pushed into his scent all the time's wolves would just tackle and love all over him. During the winter his scent can get very stuffy and plain, like what happens to a house when it’s being lived in but not, yet it’s surrounded by the cold. 

Latvia: This is gonna sound odd, but he smells like ham, potatoes, and alcohol. Like most of the time, he smells very plain and nothing really sticks out so sometimes he’ll wear cologne but when it’s colder out and he’s stuck inside and everything he smells like ham, potatoes, and alcohol. 

Estonia: This man smells like an office/server room. It’s really clean but cold with a metallic undertone. But he also smells really fresh after he’s left the office and showered – like fresh berries and other fruits. Sometimes he’ll smell more like potatoes and meat but that’s mostly when in the winter when the fresh fruits and all can’t be picked. There are also some earthy undertones to his scent that come out during the winter.

Austria: He smells like old sheet music, or just like old paper in general. That kinda dusty but intriguing smell you get from a really old document or book. There’s also a layer of coffee, fried bread, and evergreen. He sometimes wear a sharp cologne if he’s going out or something and he doesn’t use any super flowery shampoo or anything in the shower so most of the time he smells like old books and food – might made you hungry. 

Switzerland: He can also sometimes smell like cheese, but again the good kind of cheese that you wanna eat. But he also smells like really clean, crisp water with an undertone on evergreen and metal. He’ll sometimes smell sweet and other times he’ll smell like beer but those come out depending on what he’s eaten or whenever he showered last. 

Netherlands: This man is a blend of tulips, chocolate, and pipe smoke. On is always more dominant than the either and kinda gives away his mood. Sometimes he’ll have a woody-fury undertone to him from the time he's spent outside with rabbits. The heavy smoke smell typically gives away that he’s stressed or maybe even mad. The chocolate says that he’s been with his sister and could be in a good mood if it was just them, but it can also be a sign that he’s trying to relax and it’s not working. The tulip smell says that he’s suuuuuper happy and relaxed and that you could go and talk to him and he's chill. Mostly on the weekends. 

Belgium: She smells like chocolate, chocolate, and flowers but with undertones of a vegetable garden and fresh air. She doesn’t really wear any perfume and doesn’t use super pungent shampoos and lotions. She mostly smells sweet but occasionally there will be this metallic, salty sea air undertone that comes out especially when she’s sweating that’ll remind that his women will kick your ass if she needs to.

Belarus: She smells very metallic but also sweet, like sucker sweet with while you have a tongue or lip piercing. Her cold undertone is the cold air that you breathe in super deep to fill your lung and try to relax, maybe the kinda cold that fills you before you start running outside or hiking. 

Ukraine: She smells like wheat, but not like gross wheat but like the standing in the middle of the field kinda wheat smell that is where you’d wanna take a super aesthetic photo those it’s kinda itchy as hell. She also smells like flower, as in cooking flower, because I picture her as liking to bake and yeah. Her undertone is cold, but like the cold of seeing your breath, the also sweet cold that doesn’t hurt at first but if you stay out in it you’ll nose will hurt.

Nordics

Iceland: Because he is an island with volcano’s he smells like molten rock mixed with cold seawater but with an undertone of grass. It’s very inviting and warm to smell, no sulfur unless there was a recent eruption and then he reeks of it but also sweats and he’s in a lot of pain and a cloud of smoke almost lingers around him until everything is calmed down. 

Norway: This man smells like Evergreen/Pine trees and cold water with clean linens that weren’t washed with anything scented. But he can smell like chocolate, beer, and pancake mix with just a hint of pipe-smoke. (*this is coming from personal experience in Norway and this is what I remember smelling*)

Finland: I wanna say he smells like Christmas, but he’s Finland and so his Christmas is different from mine, but I will say it’s a good bet that he smells like sugar cookies and maybe wrapping paper, like that smell that lingers after you’ve cut it a bunch in the same room. Like Russia, Norway, Canada, and the rest of the colder nations he too smells cold, but he smells like snow cold, like a gentle flurry that you’d take aesthetic photos in kinda snow. But I think he has undertones of gunpowder and metal.

Denmark: This man smells like a bonfire, and I don’t really know why, but he smells like a bonfire mixed with sea water and fresh brew booze. It’s very welcoming and it almost gives you energy and makes you want to stay there a socialize with him and maybe drink and cause some trouble but that’s your decision. Unless it’s the dead of winter he doesn’t smell as cold as say Russia or Canada, but if there’s a bad storm that bonfire smell with mix well with the cold and will make you want to curl up and nap with him. 

Sweden: This man smells like a wood workshop, sometimes he smells like more fresh cut wood and others he smells like wood sealer and sawdust. Again, like the others, he smells like the cold but it’s not a pungent as some of the others like you’d have to be hugging him for a while to notice it versus Russia where you’d immediately notice it especially during winter. There are some undertones of sea water and motor oil/exhaust but like the cold, you’ll have to be hugging him to notice or he just took a shower and then those are more present. 

Asia 

China: So like Scotland, he smells old but a different kind of old, like old wood and paper. Liked like a house that hasn’t had anyone in it for a long time but it’s not rotting or anything. But on a bad day, i.e. bad weather and such, he heavily smells like smog and he desperately tries to cover it up if he gets out of bed and has to leave the house. But he tries to purposely smell clean like fresh linen’s just washed or a sparkling clean house though in his young years i.e. Silk Road and all he heavily began to smell like opium. But he always has an undertone of warm tea. 

Japan: This man smells like ink mixed with paper, and it shows on the tips of his fingers. This mainly comes from the hours he spends reading and writing various mangas and stories. But he also smells like pillow packing feathers, you know that ones that’ll stab from the inside of the pillow lining but smell great and are super fluffy. There’s also so undertones of fire embers and cats.

South Korea: His smell changes like some of the others, but its equally based on where he is and the weather. If he’s coming from Seoul he can smell like a busy street and a blend of people but if it’s raining it turns into motor oil and maybe a warm bowl of ramen. If he’s coming from somewhere like Daegu or Busan he may smell more like street food or more like the water. 

India: This man smells like spice, which does seem stereotypical, but he also smells like rain and really rich tea. But it’s all brought together with a really clean, linen smell with just hint of metallic undertones. His smell is also really bright and even fruity almost or flowery with undertones of like massage oil or something. 

Ottoman Family

Turkey: This man smells like olive oil, I know kinda weird, but the trees grow abundantly in the western part of the country and its used in the food. But she also can sometimes smell like fish but also sometimes just smell like the water, it kinda depends on what he eats and the weather. He has a smoke and sweetness undertone – like chocolate and maybe opium(?). He’ll also sometimes smell like mud and sweat but again it depends on the time of year and what he’s been doing. 

Greece: I’m gonna say it, this man smells like cats but not like cat shit or litter, just cats. That soft, fluffy, warm feeling you have when you first interact with a cat before you realize how weird they kinda smell. But he too smells old in a way, but his old smell is like colosseum old smell – marble, stone, a bit dusty but doesn’t irritate your nose. Like it’s not dirty, just it’s been here for a while kinda old. There’s also a big undertone of sea water and linen but like none processed linen so like it’s being made into something linen not ‘oh this is a shirt or sheet’ kinda linen.

Egypt: Another one that smells old but this old can be the kind that irritates your nose because his old is the old of a place that was sealed away and not messed with for a long time for good reason kinda old. But he also smells like fruit and vegetables, nothing specific but like he smells fresh and natural (?) with a mix of fresh water. 

Hungary: She smells like metal, shiny, heavy metal mixed with dirt and sweat because she’s a badass woman who fought but also, mainly because of her time with turkey, she smells a bit like hay, spice, and smoke. Though all of his doesn’t come out unless she’s either a) working out or b) just woke up because she likes to uses a lot of flower-scented products but doesn’t wear perfume. 

Other

Prussia: He smells more like beer than his brother but like Hungary, he has an old metal and grime smell to him from years of fighting and wearing armor. He also smells like paper because for a long time, especially with Fitz, he played music and when he could sleep he would study it but also it’s from all his writing and home many times he’s sat down a read over his journals. I also think he probably smells slightly like smoke but no particular scent to it like bonfire or nicotine, he just sometimes smells like smoke. 

Australia: This man is a bit all over the place. Mainly he smells a bit dry or clay-like, but it’ll mix with salt water and sand and sometimes it’ll turn really muddy and wet. I could compare it to a wet dog smell but its not gross he just very much resembles his environment and so it changes but in general his smell can be relaxing if you’re asking for a hug but if he throws his arm around smiling really wide that smell will likely give away the fact that he’s gonna drag you off to do something adventurous and potentially dangerous. 

New Zealand: They smell like grass, but not like fresh cut grass or brittle dying grass, just tall, thick, plain grass with a mix of saltwater air and mountain top cold, but this last one changes depending on where they are because they could also smell a bit dry/sandy. They also smell sweet, but not like chocolate or sugar sweet, just sweet like you a few houses down from a bakery kinda sweet.