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#and if im inherently unpleasant. it explains everything but it means i wont ever have anyone. not really.
get-more-bald · 5 months
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when you're an inherently bad person🤪
#im a firmly believe that people arent truly or inherently born evil. except me ofc#the thing is that. if im not a bad person or whatever. im just incredibly unpleasant to handle deal with or be around. which may be worse#because im actually trying to be fun to be around. in general. when im not stressed out of my mind or almost (or actively) crying. i do try#and if im inherently unpleasant. it explains everything but it means i wont ever have anyone. not really.#its like a have a bad smell around me that i cant get off. which i also fear may be the reality as well.#i do shower! i do use deodorant and sometimes the fuckign. body mists or perfumes or whatever. nice smelling shite i dont actually ever wan#to use but i must be somewhat pleasant#but do i use too much of it? not enough? do i shower the wrong way? should i isolate myself forever amd not subject people to that smell?#well!#vent post#also i never fucking smile which is apparently important in being approachable. but i can blame that on the autism#god i fucking hate being who i am#im not even talking about personality rn. being trans. and autistic the way i am. and whatever else i fucking probably am. and being a part#of this fucking family and living in this god damned place. i hate it all#its difficult and i dont want to be that anymore but i cant ever stop. i can move out in what. a couple of years? i could eventually go no#contact with that family? i couldnt. but i wont ever stop being who i am at my core. and thats so depressing and it wants me to kill myself#not in a painful way though. no cutting or whatever. pills or a quick jump would be enough
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fight-for-rights · 7 years
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Evens for Ash! And while you're at it, A, B, and I for her as well.
aW YEAH ASH
2. How easy is it for your character to laugh?
    Ash is rarely seen laughing, but behind closed doors she’ll chuckle at a few jokes. Her humor is not what one would think it would be, finding clumsy animals to be the funniest things.
4. How easy is it to earn their trust?
    It’s pretty hard to earn Ash’s trust, considering shes constantly having to fight between who’s Dae and who’s not. A big way to earn her trust is to fight along side her, or knowing Elizabeth. Other than that, it takes time and effort to earn it.
6.  Do they consider laws flexible, or immovable?
  This ones a little tricky with Ash. She is one to listen to laws and follow them, however, she does not always think they’re right. So while some are immovable, like maybe drugs, she also knows that there are many that need fixing.
8. What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child
   Right, so, Ash’s childhood is something that she will never bring up. She was raised by her town in place of her parents who tragically died. Ash was always a good kid but often was told to stop trying to wander in the woods. She was told she needed to start practicing her magic, or else she wont be any good at it when she got older.
10.  What lie do they most frequently remember telling? Does it haunt them?
  Ash’s first lie she remembers was lying about her ability to do magic. In her universe, people were born with a breath of magic and inherently are about to use it. Her magic just explodes in her face, so she had to frequently lie about practicing magic. It secretly does haunt her everyday of her life, and she often wonders if something health wise is wrong with her.
12.  How do they deal with an itch found in a place they can’t quite reach?
  Is this a metaphor? I feel like this is a metaphor. Ash would sit there and find something to scratch it, too stubborn to ask someone to help.
14.  What animal do they fear most?
  Dragons, they wont admit it but dragons scare the shit out of them. They wipe out many towns during her time on earth.
16.  What makes their stomach turn?
  Many things make their stomach turn, but the biggest thing is people that sit around and do nothing about their situation. She has strong feelings towards fixing the world with her own two hands.
18.  What embarrasses them?
  When someone tries to talk to her, and she gets all flustered and studdery. Poor gals got social anxiety.
20.  If they were asked to explain the difference between romantic and platonic or familial love, how would they do so?
   Any bond for Ash, is important. She has a hard time bonding with people. They would probably be very blunt, to say the least. Ash would say something like, romantic love is sharing one life with another, trusting them with your life. Supporting each other no matter what. Platonic love to Ash is trusting someone else enough to not stab you in the back. (aka Ash here has low standards)
22.   How does jealousy manifest itself in them (they become possessive, they become aloof, etc)?
  Well, I always like to think Elizabeth and Ash deal with their jealousy in a healthy way. You can probably tell Ash is jealous because she starts to get more talkative and clumsy, running into something because shes too busy focusing on the thing that made her jealous.
24. Is sex something that they’re comfortable speaking about? To whom?
   Sex is something Ash isn’t super comfortable speaking about, she is with her girlfriend, Elizabeth. Thats about it though.
26. What is their preferred mode of transportation?
    Honestly, probably by horse. She trusts her horse very much, and knows that it’ll take her where she needs to go. Ash doesn’t trust much else, certainly not dragon riding.
28.  Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth?
   Nope! Thats a huge way to get Ash to not trust you. Ash is very much one that deals with issues head on, but she can’t if she doesn’t know the unpleasant truth. She knows that not everything in life is perfect, and sometimes you have to really get down there and fix it.
30.  Who do they most regret meeting?
  This is the easiest one to answer, Dae. Dae is a god from her world that wants to wipe the world clean of people and start fresh. For some reason, Ash is the only person she can really communicate with. So Dae is constantly messing with her and making her question reality. Its a bad situation.
32.  Do they have a go-to story in conversation? Or a joke?
  Nope! They just sit there awkwardly wishing they could leave. On the rare occasion she might say something like ‘nice weather we’re having?’
34.  How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt?
  Speaking bluntly, it would tear her to pieces. Ash can never shake the sense of guilt from her body. She is not a very forgiving person, even to herself.
36.  Do they actively seek romance, or do they wait for it to fall into their lap?
   She had no intentions of being in a romance. Ash didn’t care enough to look, but once she saw Elizabeth she knew she had fallen. Rather hard too. Elizabeth showed her another side of Ash she didnt even know was there. A much softer side.
38.  What memory do they revisit the most often?
   Ash often comes back to the memory of a few towns folk finding her in the woods after her parents died. She was rather young at that age, but it made her realize that her family wasn’t just her mom and dad. Its a sad memory, but also one that gives her hope.
40.  How sensitive are they to their own flaws?
  She is both sensitive and not. Ash will be the first to state her flaws and problems. She is also however, super sensitive when they cause her to make a mistake. As I stated before, she has a problem with forgiving herself.
42.  How badly do they want to reach their end goal?
  Ash would give her life to defeat Dae. (spoiler alert, thats not what happens.) She finds it hard to believe that one day they wont have to be fighting gods, but thats why she keeps fighting.
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Questions for the creators
A.  Why are you excited about this character?
Well, she was one of my very first characters. Ash has also been one that I wanted in books when I was younger.
B.  What inspired you to create them?
Girl warriors are the best characters ever. When I was a kid, I never got to see ones that weren’t killed or strong women. It was a problem.
I.  Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?
I mean, it makes it easier to keep to their story. I also think its a good exercise though to see how and what they would be in other universes. (im looking at you nordic.)
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