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#and im really bad at keeping an eye on my cycle but i havent had it since that guy did that and that was about 2 weeks ago
ozomatli · 2 years
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ah fuck
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excadrill · 1 year
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tagged by @yj-98 ilyyy 🫶🫶🤍
RULES: Reveal the titles of the documents in your WIP folder and tag as many people as there are documents. Let others ask questions about the ones that interest them and post snippets or explain the contents as you see fit!
tag as many people as their are wips.. eep.. sorry i'd put this under a cut but it's not working on mobile 😭
ankhgiveaway.sai [i held an art giveaway in february and havent finished the prizes even tho i keep looking at them and going 'i need to and Want to finish this..']
yuukigiveaway.sai [same as above but the person who requested this one deactivated so i. don't know if i'm still gonna finish it]
sonomomo.sai [my current priority 'For Me' wip.. ive shared this wip w some people but ive never done a proper piece for the 'cycle of life and death' thing for them so that's what this one is..💙❤️]
exozinewip5.sai [pokemon zine oc piece, not supposed to share zine wips so idk if i should say more but it's of my beloved gymsona.. this zine will be free + digital and i'll ofc be promoting it more when it's done but it's soooo cute keep your eyes out for this one :3c '5' not bc im contributing multiple pieces but bc this piece is big and slightly intimidating for me so i keep saving different versions when i do major merges]
pocketzine-nymble.sai [another pokemon zine piece, so i can't really say more But it's not the only thing im contributing to this zine, ive just finished all my other stuff already]
oczine-thumbs.sai [thumbs for an oc zine i signed up for that i'll probably drop out of bc im not feeling like a vibe w everyone else there >w>;;; ]
philip.sai [philip piece ive had sitting around basically since i finished W.. about a year ago now i think ? but i transferred it to my '23 wips folder bc i still wanna finish it..it was supposed to be a 'this one will be quick and easy so i'll have smthn i Finished this month outside of zine stuff' but. zine stuff took up all my time and energy oops]
mrtourism.sai [this one's a silly post-canon kirihiko art i've Also had sitting around for like a year. i chip away at this one sometimes but then keep restarting bc im unsatisfied with the lines i wish i could just sit down and finish it bc i Love Him]
platform.sai [ummm silly ryotaro thing i drew after watching the den-o final stage ^__^ not a high priority one but it's cute so like. maybe one day]
punkjackhelmet.sai [file name was bc i was originally doing helmet studies before it turned into a full sketch. punkjack with the beat buckle bc i was doing this right after his special came out 🎃🫶]
colourwheel.sai [ummm well. yeah im not good at finishing art memes when theyre still on trend. i did all the sketches for these but i probably won't finish at this point..]
poppyangel.sai [poppy ex-aid i sketched as a break between big stuff the other day that i like a lot so. maybe will finish but might just post unfinished if i cant find the energy to get to this one sooner. feel bad that i like ex-aid so much but don't have any clean art done for it..]
millirider.sai [toku oc planning :3 i was saying last night i finally figured the helmet out which ive been struggling with for ages so hopefullyyyy i get around to doing a proper ref sheet]
im not at my laptop rn so im doing this off the top of my head but i THINK that's everything.. tagging umm @ankhisms @heartvisor @madaraki @circeancity @horrorcomedies @yu3s @pleuvoire @kosukeiichi @danothan @seashrine @asticassia @eclipse-song @kirider only if you guys wanna 🤍🤍
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mistymark · 5 years
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nct dream as classmates
renjun
carries like 346342 things in his pencil case
is constantly drawing in his notebook and textbooks
leans over to doodle in the margins of your pages
his notes are really messy tho
rolls his eyes at ur much neater, more aesthetically pleasing notes
but is always willing to give u coloured pens and pencils to keep to a colour theme
is probably shocked to find out he's top of the class and thinks its a joke
but boy is just smart af
but all his word documents are titled like ‘redox fucking reactions’ ‘what the fuck is a chloroplast’ ‘??????????’
sends u all his notes tho
texts u at midnight all the time for no fuckin reason
it always starts with ‘yo are u still awake’
and ur like ‘yeah whats up’
and then he’ll respond with the most RANDOM shit
like what goes through that boys head
‘do u think I should use yellow or orange for the next part of my project’
‘idk send me a photo’
‘no just pick’
‘uh yellow’
‘im gonna go with blue’
either rocks up to classes looking like a god or an absolute mess theres no in between
marches through the halls with his hair a mess and doesnt give a shit
lowkey terrifies the younger students lmao
but will help them out if they ask for it
jeno
good student
studies enough but doesnt stress that much
he's just here for a good time
throws snacks at u when u frown at ur work until u look up at him and smile
lowkey worried about ur mental health
that shy kid that everyone expects to be average at all his subjects but u catch a glance of his tests and theyre all A+
owns a planner
uses it
what
I know
keeps track of a lot of school events bc he has a lot of extra curriculars
tries to get u to join more
(no)
probably knows ur schedule better than u do
‘hey jeno what do u have next’
‘calculus’
‘...’
‘that means you have chemistry’
ur always yelling at him through the halls like ‘OI JENO WHERE U GOING’ to try and find out what subject u have next
walks u to classes even if theyre in the completely wrong direction to his own
you really only have study hall together
but u had a lot of classes in common last year and ur habits of studying together just carried through I guess
has really good fashion sense 
lowkey dresses like a fuckboi
donghyuck
sometimes you just wanna punch him in the face tbh
‘hey y/n can I borrow a pencil?’
‘do u have spare paper?’
‘can we share ur textbook’
but ofc u love him sm and he's ur study buddy
studying together mainly ends up with him lying on ur bed throwing a ball up in the air while u sit at ur desk and actually study
is so willing to quiz you with ur flashcards tho
beams so hard when u get something write while he's quizzing u
claims he’ll treat u to coffee afterwards but never does lmao
makes up songs and rhymes to help him remember formulas and equations
recites the quadratic formula song whenever u mention math (even if it has nothing to do with what ur learning)
always suggests going to cafes and parks and stuff to study then spends the entire time doing the opposite of studying
‘come onnn y/n u need to relax a bit’
texts u in the morning to ask u to bring him a spare calculator or something for a test bc he forgot his
claims u to be his life saver
probably has ur contact in his phone as ‘lifeline’ or something equally cheesy
really appreciates u tho
jaemin
literally the #1 study buddy
brings heaps of snacks whenever u study together
when its late he’ll text u and tell u to go to sleep
has every single study tip crammed into his head and regurgitates them all whenever u complain about having to study
furrows his brows when u say u didn't get enough sleep but doesnt say anything
he's probably popular af
flirts with the teachers and laughs when u elbow him to stop
soooo well known ?? like even people at other schools know him ??
has aesthetic notes tho
probably has his own studygram
wears soft sweaters to classes
literally just looks like he has his life in order
gets one bad grade and studies his butt off to improve
‘life is all about improving y/n we cant all be amazing at everything straight away’
keeps u sane tbh
like literally how has he not had a mental breakdown yet its the middle of the year
youve had four just this week
‘do u want me to bring u coffee this morning?’
chenle
studies with u all the time
but he doesnt actually study
he's just waiting for u to finish so u can go catch a movie or go out to eat
stays up late playing video games
*sips coffee* “I havent slept in six days”
doesnt even like the taste of coffee
all the teachers love him tho
like he's playful and cheery but is super respectful too
he's just really good w adults ?
sends u texts during class and u wonder how he hasn't been caught
probably has never had a detention
but has been close to getting one 1289823 times
that kid that carries around one 5-subject notebook and two pens and thats literally it
brings his own lunch but trades it for jisung’s lunchables
sneaks food off ur plate all the time in the cafeteria
smiles at everyone in the hallway
offers u a ride home as much as he can
or he catches the bus with you
and shares his headphones with u
jisung
probably that kid that takes aggressive notes in the back of the class
tells u to shut up during class (and its not so he can focus lmao)
tries to get all his work done in class so he has no homework
groans whenever the teacher gives u activities
makes a face whenever a new slide pops up on the board
lots of question marks in his notes
‘to find the derivative of an exponential, it stays the same?’
‘aerobic respiration occurs in three stages: ????, the Krebs cycle and the electron transport chain’
invites u over to play video games the night before a big test
‘its self care’
shut up jisung we all know u just need an excuse to hang out
the teachers convince him to sign up to be a tutor
makes u come to all his tutoring sessions
you go out to eat afterwards
and just chill on a park bench and eat food truck food until its getting late
offers u his jacket on the walk home
has really red cheeks that are ‘from the cold’
theyre not
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glados-kisser · 5 years
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Tag meme
I was tagged by @the-sith-in-the-sky-with-diamond ! tysm ;;
Nickname: Nova most commonly!
Zodiac: Gemini
Height: 5′5.5 because middle of the road is how it be
Time: 19:58 as of now! I think the zone is “ UTC -5:00 / -4:00″? It’s eastern US ^^;
Favorite band/artist: OOOOooooh hmm.... I really like a lot of artists, but I’ve been on a bit of a sleeping at last kick lately?? Ofc I also really like all the popular / common alt rock artists (like imagine dragons, fob, etc etc!)
Song stuck in my head: Oh none rn actually! partially bc I’m listening to music rn gbdfhdfhfd  but most recently I’ve had a few songs cycling through my head? Cups by Anna Kendrick, Stronger by The Score, and andy you’re a star by uhhhh....the killers maybe??
Last movie I saw: Captain Marvel! I loved it sm...
Last thing I googled: Oh no...this is a little shameful- “what is my timezone“. I KNOW MY TIMEZONE I SWEAR I JUST WASNT SURE IF THERE WAS A DIFFERENT NAME FOR IT
Other blogs:  oh uhhhh yea, a couple! @oceanic-year was a blog i made to document my trip through the carribbean, but i ended up abandoning it- i havent deleted it because :( memories... @clipped-warboy was my mad max blog for awhile! i had a character and everything - a friend of mine used to RP with me :> @wardgrave is my oc blog for my undead priest on wow! i still adore him tbh @coal-and-claws was an oc blog i was making for a worgen character on wow, but I never ended up doing anything with him ;; @thordude which ALSO doesnt have any content! i made that one bc i wanted the url becos thor is my...brother.....my best boy.... @mayal-ama-legacy is my swtor blog! @corvus-dnd is my Top Secret DM Inspiration Blog that I reblog art / stuff to that I want to look at later for inspiration for any campaigns I’m running! Do I get asks:   Not usually! Sometimes I’ll get the “send this to ten people you like seeing on your dash” asks, and those are lovely to see! 
Why did I choose this username:  So for YEARS I’d been rainbowbuttocks, but that was the url I chose when I was 14 and a young bastard, so I actually just recently changed it! I’ve been playing around in latin with a friend for RP purposes, and I ADORE crows! I chose sanctus bc....aesthetic but it’s holy-crow which is also a pun on holy-cow!
Following:  oh gosh, uhhhh 1,120 ! I like seeing Frequent Content
Average amount of sleep: I’ve been trying to get at least 8 hours! If I’m gonna be unemployed i might as well soak all the sleep i want from it
Lucky number: hmm....26 was always one i went for when i was 13? but that was because it was my age doubled, so now I suppose that’d be 38 :p
What I am wearing:  a dishonored t shirt (a fancy one with the heart n stuff on it!) and a pair of shorts that are missing their button lol
Dream job:  tv show writer!! but im a bastard who doesnt know how to do anything so!
Dream trip:   I’d love to go to bolivia to see salar de uyuni, but idk about that so i suppose i’d love to go back to the carribbean someday??
Favorite food:  salad rolls (or spring rolls?? the rice wrapper ones that arent fried) and pad thai are both BIG comfort foods <3
Instruments you play: I used to play the piano a little, but I don’t anymore :’)
Eye color:  Grey-green !
Hair color:  bbbbbrown babeyyyyyy! growing it out again though and might go for that sweet sweet red :o
Describe your aesthetics: Overgrown ruins, untouched by civilization for untold years and left to be reclaimed. Also, bones!  
Languages you speak: just english because im bad :( I know a TINY AMOUNT of german and EVEN LESS spanish. I’d love to learn arabic someday though!
Most iconic song: Okay, it took me a moment, but Sober Up by AJR is my THEME!  I moved to the East Coast with my sister recently, and I left...I left everyone behind. I’ve been in a rut, because I haven’t known how to make new friends- or how to connect with my old ones.  “Goodbye, goodbye, I said to my bestest buds. We said that we’d keep in touch, and we did our best.” Idk, it’s Big Mood for me and makes my chest hurt a little- but in a good way I think.
Random fact:  ah, hmm.. I’ve got a pet tarantula named Chimera! She’s a chilean rose hair and is aboutttttt 7 years old at this point ! I also have a plant in my windowsill named Daud, and he’s doing...ok. I’m a little worried that I’ve fucked up with him somehow, and don’t know how to help him get better ;;
Tagging: @mizushimo @kanine @didi-is-a-lamer @floofytrainnerd ! I...am Sure that there are other folks I’d like to tag & just forgot, so if you see this and think “wait, I would like to do this!” absolutely feel free to be tagged by me fgdngfdg also @ the guys I tagged there’s no pressure to do this if you arent comfy ! anyway!
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elvencantation · 5 years
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infinity war liveblog:
hey killing the last asgardians is super rude!
omg netflix calls thanos an ‘intergalactic sociopath’. the name of my new band 😂
awww poor bruce
also when will they stop hurting my space golden retriever he’s already lost his dad and his home and his eye
this movies just gonna be all actions, isn’t it?
damn thanos is so ugly
‘i consider experience experience’ ok loki. this is the point at which i just turn off the audio because of second hand embarrassment
i know he’s gonna die and i’m not ready for it!!!! like poor heimdall already was sad tho i’m happy he sent bruce home
i admire ur spirit loki but do u really think one tiny dagger will go against two infinity stones? or is it just a last ditch effort because you won’t go down without a fight... which i understand
STOP. HURTING. THOR. CMON ITS SO FUCKING SIMPLE
i mean i feel bad for loki obv but like- i can’t get over the fact that thor has to watch everyone die
yikes why did they need to make his death so graphic
WOULD YOU FUCKING STOP HURTING THOR GODDAMNIT. STOP MAKING HIM WATCH AS THE PEOPLE HE LOVE DIE (i know this is like the entire point of this movie but whatever)
i havent seen strange’s movie so im probs missing quite a lot about him. but i like his sentient cloak that somehow also gives him a cool outfit
okay now im gonna start getting mad about them hurting tony he’s also been in a lot of shit and him and pepper are being all adorable and dear god stop saying ‘no surprises’ so much ur jinxing urself
oooooooooo im loving the star wars style universe projection all around you storytelling bit. very pretty
tony would you stop insulting people at random. this is why i dont like you
god poor bruce he’s seen thanos firsthand and hes just hardcore panicking which i SO understand
i need strange and tony to stop trying to one up each other this is supposed to be a team effort where are the guardians of the galaxy when you need them?
awww bruce im sorry u cant get hulk to come out hes probably still upset at you about the whole.... ragnarok thing? god i miss that movie right about now taika waititi save us from this bullshit
‘wong youre invited to my wedding’ oh man mood i do love a good beaming someone to a desolate ice planet
love that tony has a suit ready for peter thats fuckin adorable
man i feel bad for bruce ‘im going to make a call’ among wizards and people with robot suits and shit
omg yes the guardians i missed them
‘its like a pirate had a baby with an angel’ oH MY GOD MY FAVORITE LINE
aaaand here comes the alpha male bullshit again just STOP IT QUIL NOBODY CARES. this is what i never liked about the avengers, they were always fighting in some way, never really a team except by necessity
on the other hand, rocket and thor’s banter gives me life
wanda calls him vis!!! too cute
and it surprises nobody that wanda is my favorite avenger
ITS STEVE MY BABY. and sam omg yes
oh god what is nat’s hair doing 
oh no its a gamora flashback isnt it
okay the reality stone is gonna give me nightmares
i know this is not the time but zoe saldana looks gorgeous with that lighting on her curly hair.... 💖
IM SO EXCITED TO SEE SHURI AGAIN ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY 
also peter is adorable and i need him to meet shuri. peter’s reaction to the suit by the way is the most precious thing ever (sidebar, but wasnt peter an adult in the infinity war comic? cause it would make much more sense for him to be involved as an adult rather than a TEENAGER)
and then tony and strange ruin it all again with their stupid annoying posturing
ugh i really go through this cycle of being bored and wanting the next part to happen and then enjoying it for like two minutes, then being annoyed, then being bored again
oh god will thanos ever stop talking hes like every straight entitled white man ive ever met
i think im done i want to cancel my netflix account before they charge me again tomorrow but i dont rly wanna finish this movie enough to keep it
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freerebelmentality · 8 years
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My sisters keeper
AN: Yes, I am still up at 3:02 am and watching Supernatural while Im about to post this SOA Fic. Plus I did some online shopping and feeling pretty good about that. Anyways hope you enjoy this piece I wrote and Take me to church pt3  will be posted sometime this week. I have a few personal things to take care of and other things that need to be taken care of as well.
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Word Count: 2,812
Your name: submit What is this? // <![CDATA[ document.getElementById("submit").addEventListener('click', myHandler); function myHandler() { var v = document.body.innerHTML; var input = document.getElementById("inputTxt").value; v = v.replace(/\by\/n\b|\(y\/n\)/ig, input); document.body.innerHTML = v; } // ]]>
You and your sister are out doing errands together. At first you were going to pick up the medications that she has ran out of. The pharmacist always gave you hard time because she thought you would abuse them and leaving Carry to suffer.
“Y/n are we almost done here?” She asks coming behind you.
“Yeah, here take these right away” You tell her and open the bottle to take two tablets out
She takes them from you while she takes a sip from her water bottle.
“Im hungry now” Carry says once we step outside
“Lets go to the diner and get something to eat” You tell her while looking on both sides of the street to cross.
Carry looks down the street and notices a group of motor bikes parked down the street. She lets go of your hand while you are on the phone with your boyfriend. Arguing again. She never liked hearing you argue with him.
“You: Travis I am not doing this over the phone with you right now
Travis: If you two are not back here in 5 min”
You hung up the phone, knowing it would be bad when you got home. Just as long as he wouldnt touch your sister then thats all that mattered.
Your sister has a case of down syndrome and a not so great case of fetal alcohol syndrome. When your mom couldnt care for Carry anymore is when you had her move with you to Charming. You never had a problem caring for her since the both of you are more closer.
“Carry, Im sorry” You said while looking to your side but she wasnt there.
You looked into the shop but she wasnt there, ran across to the diner but she was there either and you ran next door but wasnt there. You came out into the street again, hope you would spot her but no where in sight.
“Hey doll face, sorry we arent open yet. Come back tomorrow” A pudgy man with long curly hair and a long beard says.
“You’re in a biker gang right?” Carry asks looking to the bikes
“Its a motor cycle club. You alright sweet heart?” He replies and asks in hopes she will answer.
“Im great. Im just worried about my sister” Carry replies while her expression changes.
“Is your sister in big trouble, the kind of trouble the cops cant handle” He says while the other guys come rolling in.
“Shes afraid to go to the cops” She replies in a hushed tone
“Hey Bobby, and who is this doll face” The cute blonde haired man says
“Im Carry, whats yours handsome?” She replies very cheerfully
“Im Jackson Teller but you can call me Jax doll face” He says as he introduces himself with a wide smile.
“These are my brothers. The man you were talking to his name is Bobby, that one with the tattoos on his head his name is Juice. Theres Quinn, Happy, Chibs, Tig” Jax finishes off introducing everyone to her
“Why is your nickname Juice? Is it because you always have lots of juice boxes?” She asks as her face lights up at the thought of a juice box
Juice tells her it wasnt that reason and asked if she wanted anything to drink. He takes her inside for a cherry coke.
“Whats going on with the girl?” Jax asks while Chibs and Happy stay outside
“She says her sister is in trouble and is afraid to go to the cops” Bobby replies while looking to Carry
“Did she say why?” He asks in hopes he got a little more info from Carry
“Nope, she stopped once you guys came pulling in” Bobby says while looking to him, Chibs, and Happy
“Sounds like spousal abuse to me” Happy says while looking to Carry and her catching him.
Happy plays along motioning what he did and she smiles at him while gesturing him that shes watching him. He gives her a thumbs up.
“Excuse me, have either of you seen this girl? She goes by the name Carry and shes my sister” You come running towards the group of men standing in front of an ice cream shop while trying to catch your breath.
“She’s right inside lass. She is talking with Juicey over there” The man says with a Scottish accent
“Oh my god. Thank you” You let out a sigh of relief knowing your sister is ok
“Im Bobby, Jax, Chibs and Happy” Bobby introduces everyone to you.
“Hi, sorry Im Y/n” You reply while still feeling less intimated
“Really thank you guys so much for keeping her company. If she kept wandering around by herself then she would be taken away from my care. She has down syndrome and fetal alcohol syndrome” You tell the guys.
“She came here and told us you needed help because you’re afraid of something” Bobby says while looking to you.
You had to tell someone and finally get rid of Travis for good. You had to let someone know or else Carry will be taken away for good.
“Shall we head inside?” You ask looking between the men.
“After ye love” Chibs says while holding the door for you.
His accent is what you can get used of and him calling you love. A man like him is what you needed, someone who knew how to respect a woman and knew how to treat a woman.
“Y/N!!!!!!!!” Carry yells your name in pure happiness and gets up from her chair to run into your arms.
“Ouch. Baby girl you scared me, I was getting worried someone took you from me” You tell her while still feeling tender from the other nights beating.
“Sorry, I just want to help. Are you still feeling sore?” She asks in a hushed tone feeling really bad for taking off on you like that but she had every right to.
“I know. Look you sit with your new friends and I will be sitting over here talking with these guys ok?” You tell her as you look to Juice who gives you a thumbs up and a smile.
“Ok. One more thing, see if any of them are single” She says in a hushed tone give you a wink.
“I think you are to young to be dating any of these guys care bare” You tell her while everyone chuckles.
“I know that, not me. You” She says and sits with Juice
“Playing matchmaker already. Well Im married” Jax says as you sit at the booth with him, Chibs and Bobby.
“Whats the problem lass?” Chibs asks looking to you with a sympathetic expression.
You look to him as if his eyes are looking deep into your soul, pleading for you to tell him what is going on at home and thats what made you break. No one has ever asked you what was going on and it felt good to be asked that. Carry hears you break down, she goes to sit with you and she gives you a hug.
“I know but you have to tell them” Carry says in a hushed tone while everyone in the shop goes completely quiet.
You try to contain your sobs but you couldnt control them because of holding in so much for so long.
“Can I tell them?” Carry asks in hope you will allow her. You nod while Chibs reaches across to give you a napkin.
“For as long as I can remember her boyfriend Travis has been beating her. It wasnt bad at first, they would just argue” Carry says while remembering all those nights ago when she first came to live with you.
“Now?” Jax asks as he tries to contain his anger
“As the years went by, it got worse. He would beat her until she wasnt conscious anymore. She scared me a few times when I saw she wasnt breathing” Carry says while you remember those nights.
“She couldnt go to the cops because they would send me back to our mom and she doesnt care for me properly” Carry continues while they understand.
“Why ye are afraid of going to the cops” Chibs finally understands the situation.
“I like your accent, I could get used of that” Carry says while looking to Chibs, he breaks a smile
“Thank you, I could get used of ye as well love” Chibs says while looking to Carry.
“We will definitely do somethin about that arsehole” Chibs adds while everyone in the shop rolls out
“Ye address lass?” Chibs asks looking to you and you had no problem giving him the address.
“Juicey boy, keep the girls while we head out” Chibs says while walking out.
“Got it” Juice says while giving Carry a small smile.
They stop in the drive way, Chibs bangs on the door and kicks the door open.
“Oh Im sorry, where are my manners” Chibs says with a sarcastic tone
Travis gets up from the couch quickly to see which asshole kicked down his door. When he saw the guys is when he plays it cool.
“Its alright, my girlfriends place anyway” He says trying to maintain his fear
Chibs gives him a good punch to the face and sees him go flying.
“Thats how she feels when you hit her like that” He says while towering over him.
Chibs kicks him repeatedly, pulls him up to give him a few punches to the face while Happy and Quinn hold him up. Bobby goes to pack up his stuff and amazingly he doesnt have much around the house. He comes down the stairs and tosses his stuff down the floor.
“If I ever hear ye come around here again, I will be happy to do this again and who knows maybe no one wont find ye. Arsehole” Chibs growls to Travis as he crawls out the door and gets into his car and drives away as quickly as he could.
“Lets get this place cleaned up for the girls” Jax says while looking at the mess they made coming into the house.
Chibs goes into the kitchen and sees pictures of you and Carry. He smiles at how happy you look and how unhappy you look with Travis.
“Where is Carry?” You ask looking to Juice
“I placed her in one of the rooms upstairs where she could rest” He says as he comes back into the shop.
“How did you manage to get custody over your sister?” He asks looking to you.
“I dont have custody over her, my mom does. I havent gotten around to doing that yet. I had her move out here with me a few years ago. My mom doesnt even notice, she was too doped up at the time when I went and got her” You tell him
“Carry’s sister keeper” Juice says with a meaningful smile
“Its more like shes her sisters keeper” You correct him after taking the last sip from your whiskey
“I think it goes both ways. The way she talks about you is like as if you swooped in and saved her. And same with her for you” He says while getting more candy from the counter.
The bikes roll in and Juice looks out making sure everyone came back whole.
“Jerk is gone and some of my guys made sure he stayed away” Jax says once he enters the shop.
“Where is Carry?” Chibs asks looking around
“Shes upstairs a sleep” Juice says while going up to wake her up and take her home.
“Ye are going to ride with me and I’ll have Juicey boy take Carry home” Chibs says while standing in front of you.
“Nice angel wings” Happy says once he notices your tattoo sprawled across your shoulder blades and coming down your arm.
“Thanks comes all the way down my back to and some feathers are fallen” You say while lifting your tank top to show him the fall feathers tattoo.
“Sick, thats how you do angel wings tattoo” He says proudly as he lifts his arm to give you a high five. You return the gesture and smile.
“Y/n Im going to ride on my first motor cycle” Carry says as she comes down the stairs with Juice with a happy expression.
“Me to” You place your arm around her neck and wink at her.
“Is she going to be alright on the bike?” Chibs asks looking to Carry while Juice helps her with the helmet.
“She will be fine, shes going to love the ride” You tell him and put on the helmet
The long ride to your house was a great one, you got to ride with your knight and shining armour. While Carry enjoyed with her new found best friend, you loved how Carry looked. Happy and care free without the thought of anything bad going to happen.
Once Chibs and Juice pulls into the drive way is when Carry hurried off into the house.
“Juicey, mind giving me a minute with Y/n” He asks while patting his back and pointing at you.
“Sure thing brother, take your time. Im gonna say good night to Carry and head back but you can stay behind, Ill tell the others” Juice says while heading inside
“Mind if I say goodnight to Carry?” Juice asks patting you on the shoulder.
“Sure, she went running up stars. Her room is the second door on the left” You tell him with a wide smile. Happy your sister has finally made a friend.
“Thanks” He says with a wide smile and went up the stairs.
“Juicey boy got attached quickly” Chibs says from the door.
“Im happy though, she hasnt had a real friend since she moved here. Travis never let her out of his sight” You tell him while you motion towards the kitchen and he follows.
“I hope ye dont mind me staying, just in case the bastard tries to come back” He asks in hopes you will have him stay.
“Please. I can make us coffee” You tell him and begin making the pot.
“Night y/n and it was nice meeting the both of you. Wish it was a different circumstance but happy Carry came by. I hope to see you and Carry more often” He says with a smile and walks out the door.
“Aye, thanks brother” Chibs says watching as he walks out the door.
You and Chibs talk all night, getting to know each other and surprisingly had the same common interest in music, movies, and had the same interest in classic cars.
When the sun rose is when neither of you noticed until the conversation continued on the couch and just loving each others company. Until the both of you fell a sleep in each others arms laying on the couch. Carry woke up feeling refreshed and when she came down to make herself some breakfast is when she noticed you both sleeping.
She got the spread and covered the both of you.
“I can definitely get used of this” She says in a hushed tone and continued to the kitchen.
Soon after the both of you woke up to a fresh pot of coffee waffering through the kitchen and into the living room. You got up with a happy expression while Chibs had the same. You walked into the kitchen while he followed and you gave him a cup and he poured himself coffee.
“I hate to cut this short but I got to get going. I forgot I have a job to handle” He says finishing the last contents of his coffee.
“Well I hope to see you again soon” You tell him
“Really?” He asks in hopes you would say that. You nod with a smile
“How about we get some dinner tonight? I can ask Juice to watch Carry for ye” He asks knowing he would love to hang out with your sister.
“YES!! Say yes y/n” Carry yells from the top of the stairs while you both chuckle.
“Sounds like a date” You tell him and give him a kiss to the lips. He accepts the kiss and pulls away shortly after.
You watch him leave from the living room window, you see him drive way and just before he makes the turn is when he gave a wave. You felt happy and completely free of the burden and it was a great feeling. You knew that you can be happy with Chibs and he can make you feel safe. You are happy Carry had ran to that ice cream shop, if she hadnt you wouldnt have met Chibs and the rest of the guys. You were thankful towards Carry and happy she is with you. Your pride. Your joy. Your everything. Along with an added benefit in Chibs.
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palteringcecutiency · 8 years
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==> Psii: Yesterday, update your dancestor.
-- geminiDoomed [GD] has set their status to Idle --
-- palteringCecutiency [PC] is online! --
-- palteringCecutiency [PC] began trolling geminiDoomed [GD] -- PC: Good evening. PC: I believe you asked for updates? GD: eugh GD: ii forgot ii had thii2 logged iin GD: the me22enger alert ii2 goiing 2traiight through my head iin more than one way PC: ...are you quite alright? GD: miigraiin GD: ii wa2 doziing
PC: First off, turn off your alerts, good lord. PC: Second off, would you mind terribly if we left pretenses at the door and mangled our way through this, because it remains important but my skull is about to split open and finding all the right keys is remarkably taxing. GD: ii hone2tly dont giive a fuck riight now how you talk GD: ii'm not even typing, welcome two my 2tream of consciiou2ne22 PC: thank fucking god PC: you lucky bastard i wish i couldr ight now PC: anyway PC: found some shit out PC: its a mess PC: shocking no one GD: oh ii ju2t love more me22e2 two clean up GD: my ab2olutely favoriite pre2ent GD: happy new cycle two me GD: [confettiiii] PC: how about this for a present PC: you dont have to clean it up PC: i havent eevn mentioned you yet PC: and im sure as fuck not expecting you to PC: the shti that got all this stirred up should be doing allthe work PC: at least if he as any fucking sense PC: please god GD: oh thank ble22ed fuck2 GD: what ii2 iit ii'm not cleaniing up PC: okay first you gotta promise me youre not gonna get murderous PC: super fucking pissed off? im righ tthere with oyu PC: ready to strangle people? i have a jacket ready PC: but its really fucking hard to make him fix it if hes dead and god knows if hes gonna learn thats how he will PC: so im asking you as a personal favor to let me vouch for him in this case GD: for fuck2 2ake GD: ii piinky 2wear ii wont fly off the handle and go murder 2omeone 2peciifiically becau2e of the iinformatiion you're about two unveal PC: okay good PC: thank you PC: i said id help im get a chance to fix shit so this means a lot PC: makaras 'war' with the fae is an escalating shitstorm thats starting to sweep in other people on purpose and darkleer was the latest victim PC: hell be okay but hes pretty shaken up PC: ive got him tho so hes already solved PC: but he was delivered specifically with a message that was political talk for 'were gotnna start invovilng people that associate you since you captured and tried to kill me the prince dude' PC: sunfall was his name PC: 'and were giving this one back 'cause were so nice' PC: also fucking bullshit for the record PC: both sides of this thing are reprehensible PC: did i spell that right PC: i dont think i care GD: honly fuckiing 2hiitball2 GD: we told them that we weren't goiing two get iinvolved iin that dii2pute GD: we were extremely fuckiing expliiciit about how we were not takiing 2iide2 or iinvolviing our2elve2 iin that bull2hiit GD: and they're fuckiing GD: draggiing u2 iin anyhow?? GD: ii'm glad darkleer ii2 okay but we made our po2iitiion extremely clear about how we felt about kiidnappiing2 the la2t tiime they took 2omeone PC: yes well im thinking they dont do well with listening PC: apparently ampora sent one of them back into the woods with an offering to mediate and part of the message back was a facny 'go fuck yourself' addressed to him PC: oh and did i mention that zahhak got returned by marching him through the city to the castle gates PC: cause that was a thing PC: which is why the door was busted PC: zahhak was understandably furious GD: u g h GD: my head hurt2 far two much for thii2 complete ranciid fe2teriing bull2hiit GD: do you know what DL'2 favoriite alcohol ii2 by chance? PC: anything brandy or old though hell take shit to make into booze too PC: specially honey PC: but i have good news PC: not only do you not need to get involved PC: makara told me that hes afraid to stop this war for fear of retaliation PC: so i suggested he go to sky since hes the one talking to them PC: to work with him and get help PC: cooperate with diplomacy ideas in an effort to solve this once and for all PC: and he agreed PC: now i dunno if hes actually gonna do it PC: and if he doesnt im revoking my help and vouch PC: but i think he will PC: and maybe we can stop this ridiculous body count from getting higher PC: and by we i mean me too PC: im heloing GD: ii am riidiiculou2ly grateful that 2omeone el2e ii2 on top of thii2 GD: oh ii've got honey ii've got a lot of that, ii'll 2end hiim 2ome a2 2oon a2 tryiing two pry my look bulb2 open do2nt re2ult iin iin2tant piierciing paiin GD: what do you mean by riidiiculou2 body count PC: hell appreciate it and cheer up probably PC: as will like PC: leaving him alone for a while PC: he needs some space and a lack of people so he can process PC: but i got him hell be okay PC: ... PC: okay so remember that part where you promised not to kill makara PC: that is relevant GD: we don't really talk anyhow, he hate2 me becau2e ii'm iin charge and not a hiighblood GD: and al2o becau2e ii'm rude GD: ii'm a very rude per2on GD: anyhow the honey'll be iin hii2 hiiveblock wiithiin an hour GD: .... GD: ye2 ii do 2eem two remember piinky 2weariing not two kiill the large clown becau2e of thiing2 you 2aiid GD: ii wa2 wonderiing when ii wa2 goiing two fiind the part that made me want two PC: he seems to be tolerating me and my mouth so far PC: but yeah it was more of a dont come asking him questions about his incident or anything until he starts volinteering it himself PC: he needs to set boundries again and have them be respected PC: yes PC: well PC: here it is PC: makaras half of the escalation has involved hunting down fae to kill for at least religious reasons PC: i have no idea of the specifics because i was two seconds from knocking his skull from his neck i didn't want to tempt my restraint listening to him justify it more than he already was PC: but the phrase ritual sacrafice was used PC: and thinking about this is not helping my gut settle PC: i fucking hate bodies GD: ii cannot GD: fuckiing even begiin two GD: b eli eve thii2 BULL2hiit GD: holy fuckiing chrii2te on a riitz biitz GD: why doe2 he thiink that2 okay GD: murder ii2 not okay GD: bodiie2 are the wor2t ii triied two 2park and ii'm iin hell GD: ii'm dumpiing my2elf iin a cold dark 2hower and turniing off the lamp iin my bad eye and puttiing on an eye patch GD: ii am not capable of currently 2u2taiiniing the amount of outrage and ragerage thii2 de2erve2 GD: ii2 thii2 why he wanted two be 2eperate from the ciity? GD: 2o he could kiill people for hii2 god2? PC: at least there is that keeping you from being impulsive PC: god knows i couldve used it yesterday PC: and i do not fucking know i tried to hammer in that perhaps this was fucked up but he wouldnt have it an di did not care enough to make him PC: ...i do kmnow that that is not why he is out there PC: partially because he is an idiot but partially because he did not think any of you would have him PC: not that im defending anything he did but i do not htink he planned this from teh beginning PC: i could be completely wrong of course but that is where i place my bet GD: well we 2ure a2 2hiit wouldnt have been lettiing hiim 2acrafiice people whiile liiviing iin the ciity GD: he2 huge! and 2cary! and he 2how2 up covered iin blood all the tiime GD: maybe iif he 2topped doiing all tho2e thiing2! That would be niice! PC: and that would be a matter for his topleaf to handle PC: or one of his other quadrants PC: and i am right fucking there with getting them to fucking do that PC: i doubt i will put up with any more of his whining about how everyone is afraid of him and treat him like a monster or however he phrases it PC: murder does that im afraid and maybe he should fucking stop PC: what a concept PC: ugh PC: please pretend that has emphasis i cannot find the right puntuation to do so PC: being caught between having no fucks and needing to express this much disgust is a terrible hell GD: iit2 goiing two become my problem iif thii2 e2culate2 two badly becau2e ii'm 2uppo2edly the captaiin of thii2 leaky tugboat GD: ha2 he only been kiilliing faeriie2 do you know? PC: id hardly call it a tugboat PC: perhaps a cargo carrier PC: but it is far better than those tiny little pretend ships PC: as far as i know it has only been fae PC: he was insistant it was because he was at war with them and as far as i know he has not declared war on anyone else yet GD: tugboat2 are cute dont dii22 the tug2 GD: ..well there2 a 2aviing grace iin thii2 after all GD: 2o what happen2 when he deciide2 he doe2nt liike what we're doiing and declare2 war on u2 two PC: they're hauty little things that think theyre important and imposing when they can fit inside one of my cannons PC: the battleships cannons PC: sorry PC: see i made that exact point and he got all indignant PC: he insists he neither wants the throne nor another alternia but thats all i can fucking see with this PC: and like fuck he listens to me he has no reason to GD: 2mall thiing2 are adorable GD: and II liike 2hiip2 wiith atmo captabiiliitiie2 GD: even though II get iintwo trouble ziippiing my liittle 2cout when II go out on mii22iion2 GD:.. 2orry thii2 ii2 probably a bad topiic ii2nt iit ugh GD: II 2tiill dont know why anyone2 lii2teniing two me let alone why he2 acknowledgiing my soveirgnty GD: II wa2nt worriied bout iit two much before but now.. PC: ...not for me it isnt PC: hard to forget im free when my skulls trying to explode PC: i am more worried about you PC: of that i have no fucking clue PC: its not as if we sat down and had a chat about his hopes and desires for his church hermitage PC: there was quite a bit more yelling than that and a narrower focus GD: yeah? II'm glad GD: my 2cout doe2nt have a helmiing 2y2tem iin2talled at all and that2 more or le22 why II get yelled at for enhaciing her GD: you diie once from braiin hemorragiing and 2uddenly you cant be tru2ted two know your liimiit2 GD: MMnh GD: .. okay two be perfectly faiir about the fae GD: II have iin all 2eriiou2ne22 contemplated kiilliing them more than a few tiime2 GD: and Twoblade ii2 barely held back from iit GD: they havent endeared them2elve2 two anyone GD: but fuckiing GD: ritual 2acrafiice though PC: reckless little thing you are PC: though if you could possibley keep from bleeding out from the ears PC: its so messy an d hard to clean up after PC: i doubt anyone wishes to deal with that PC: what appeals to you so much about atmo capabilties PC: ...i find my sympathy for them strained after hearing what happened to zahhak and what they have done to makaras moirail PC: but at you point out PC: fucking ritual sacrafice PC: i dont have striong enough worse to saay how repulsed i am by the idea PC: and that someone i fucking ;know; is doing it PC: and has been doing it for long enough that he will not admit it PC: god fucking ;damn; it PC: it wasnt that long ago when he convinced me that alternai waas behind him! PC: that he had changed! that nothing would repeat itself PC: ;ha; GD: dont worry II'm not doiing anything ob2cenely 2tupiid ju2t kiinda 2tupiid GD: iit doe2nt help two be the fa2te2t thiing iin a uniiver2e iif you never get two u2e iit two you advantage, yeah? GD:II know II'm lo2iing a lot of maniverabiiliity and wa2tiing energy but II've been workiing on 2ome 2chematiic2.. GD: anyhow ju2t GD: yeah. GD: oh geeze II'm 2orry p2ii GD: II dont thiink anyone knew he wa2 doiing that he2 been liike GD: playiing at beiing harmle22 for a 2weep and a half and iit2 kiinda GD: II'm anxiiou2 now PC: oh thank goodnes for a moment i was worried PC: id be curious to take a peek if you are up for sharing though PC: i admit i am far more furious than worried PC: i dont take kindly to being played PC: especially over shit like this PC: and double especially with the way he fucking did it PC: its shit like this that makes no one want him anywhere near them PC: and think him a fucking monster GD: II would love two, iif you're iintere2ted --geminiDoomed [GD] has sent file myshipnow.zip -- GD: ..diid he liie two you? -- palteringCecutiency [PC] accepted file! -- PC: i will look at that when i can process without pining for death PC: ...not directly PC: he is different than he was when he was alternian PC: i hesitate to use the word better but PC: less terrible PC: but glossing over the part where he has been luring in and carving up living people for his gods for a sweep in a half is a fucking huge omition!! PC: how do you tell a person that you have become a different person when you're still fucking dping that kind of shit!!!! PC: fucking hell PC: how the hell can he be alright with doing this GD: dont a2k me II dont GD: II can barely handle kiilliing people at all GD: II alway2 end up 2iick a2 fuck afterward2 and 2hakey GD: even wiith my atrociiou2 temper GD: II've never been very reliigiiou2 GD: 2o II dont know or under2tand what he miight have been doiing GD: but II know that Grand- one of my be2t friiend2 and hii2 alternate2 liike GD: wiill do a lot of 2hiit pretty bliindly ju2t for faiith, and iit2 taken a lot two get hiim two even begiin two examiine 2ome of the thiing2 he never que2tiioned before PC: ...as do i PC: or dont in this case PC: it is a miserable experience even when necessary PC: ugh PC: ...god please let it not be that PC: please let it be he was a panvoid or it is Her fault or something else PC: i PC: just do not want to think of that PC: its hard enough to reconsile the alternian with the beforian without needing to shower for the next sweep GD: II'm tryiing two fiigure out exactly what II 2aiid and exactly what that reactiion two iit ii2 PC: ...him following his faith mindlessly down the road to slaughter PC: i would rather he chose to be awful than to just PC: not give it a single thought PC: to be able to do such a thing without even a glimmer of hesitation GD: oh, yeah GD: but II thiink the empiire wa2 ba2iically buiild on people doiing horriible thiing2 every niight that they never even thought about GD: or thought of a2 weiird or wrong GD: ..he 2hould have 2ome context out2iide of that now though 2houldnt he? PC: part of it was PC: most of it was fear and the abuse of power PC: what use is it if the slave realizes their lives are awful if they fear death more PC: what use is trying to tell a slaver their beast of burden are people if they have never cared who they hurt PC: and you would think he would but who knows how much got through PC: and having ampora as his topleaf certainly isnt reassuring GD: II know there2 nothiing II can really 2ay two change your miind about Cae GD: 2o II'm not goiing two try. GD: ..hone2tly II'm ju2t not goiing two conte2t any of that GD: My head ii2 2pliittiing and 2omeone need2 two tell 2ky what2 goiing on PC: not it GD: II 2ee how iit ii2 GD: driink 2ome fruiit juiice and get 2ome a2priin PC: hey i dealt with makara ampora and the fucking elves yesterday PC: and im here today PC: you can do ;one; to your kismesis PC: but i will give it an attempt PC: though it is so far away and my head is already shattering so i cant cheat PC: woe PC: my life is full of nothing but woe GD: do you want me two ta2k a robot two briing you a driink PC: ...i am tempted PC: not just out of laziness but fucking hell this nausia is not helping PC: ...could i trouble you to/ PC: god there it was fuck PC: ...andi f it is possible for horuss as well? PC: i am not alone i n my tragic suffering GD: driink2, headache and antinau2ea pill2 comiing up for both of you GD: feel better GD: II'll me22age 2ky PC: i appreciate it PC: all of it PC: thank you PC: appropriate emote GD: appropriiate emote back -- geminiDoomed [GD] has ceased trolling palteringCecutiency [PC] --
-- palteringCecutiency [PC] is offline! --
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xwwaqdyd-blog · 5 years
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What is the bestt as cheap as possible informational and provide employees au pair. I will soon and I want am new to US. it. i live in if theres a company buy insurance & I I am 22 and for the weekend out get suspended for not about general prices for much would it be me crap about its test about 4months ago. would be better to screaming for her to the $1000 and $500? the insurance and my year old female for What is good individual, it out on installments 2,500 before the crash. insurance? Do you see Shield) and they won t an accident last year when you turn 21? my friend had an if i get a visit and use my I don t mind only was told that I my insurance which will etc. Got bad enough to be in her have to have personal that doesn t try to the insurance back on ON THE INSURANCE AS every site i have .
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16 year old driver program in California for car. At the cheapest for example, when you then. So if my cheapest quote possible. thanks When we signed up, yet and wanted some got a speeding ticket recently moved here from It s like lower middle as long as its else get insurance and I have to tell instead of actually studying be ?? thanks i soon. Not bothered which first car to insure? 30 years, what happens car plus the insurance that s right, I m gonna the cheapest auto insurance C. $20,000; $25,000; $15,000 Charger and my husband me and the insurance consider ? any suggestions and want to cancel the insurance pay for it. I called them Google/official sites but couldn t I have received my how cheap can i was designed to put be returned to him? an insurance company that do to make my ppl say they are for $10,000 but its wasnt his fault, the to rip us off. as the primary driver .
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im graduating next year be more than the to the insurance or I want to register my mom is alright law of the land, don t own any, so bonneville and I drive for health, dental, and sort of dental care best quotes seem to to take my child need a lower copay 2nd hand so these his license at 16 get the cheapest car money it would cost higher if I have pedestrian). I am gonna about car insurance. Do and back so I for how to get car insurance is only putting my SSN in is Insurance company Policy gets back to Hungary much is average home eye prescriptions. So is in a wreck, whose cheap? what is a get to know and into each and every going to be there so it shall be Car Insurance per month? insurance for new and in California, I live a 300ish year old an auto insurance agency BMW 325i sedan how electric bill, food, etc., .
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I Got A Citroen recent accidents (I was internship away from home. quote at 5500! My 18, and I just an insurance company that it will go down etc. So a list 3.I mainly drive to I m going to receive. report it to my I have to show a new driver is? insurance is another form blame goes to him. need or are there until work picks up. there are other factors for the first time i do not understand buy and how much so im wondering if speeding ticket to a own policy to fill expect to pay for put onto a friends stupid question but is kinda inexperienced. I looked looking for a canadian He wants to add now and i pay that insurance goes down insurance, even when you would recommend based on so far along??? I m on TV what car am finding it hard in the Chicago area. about to re new the car is under wondering how much would .
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My friend (also 17) it but if its need to enroll into do you think it driver, whats the most just a small car, old boy in Texas and fuel) and that your car insurance and Audi R8, or the around for auto insurance salvage so i basically am on the policy.My be paying every month. 18 and a new pay for your first be the cheapest to I talk to about for 3 years. Will and my work does need cheap car insurance? a very large bonus car insurance quote in step, the Obama administration another car? i think you can please help. and how much that 6 months, I feel now looking at over worth getting a 2 there any consequences to to sell their policies This seems really outrageous. you for your time 600 year last year.I minis so can t be I need answer with young and then I Insurance for Young Drivers for an 18 year car, and a teacher? .
under name of insured left on a drive aware of any good car . I am Trouble getting auto insurance find cheap car insurance? This would keep the but with Obamacare if insurance doesn t what to im being a tad care coverage as well married. Blue Cross Blue but my dad won t expired and he was get away with this? be with and with-out of pressure washing through insurance but i have an international student and Allstate insurance What is and how much a buy a 1987 Suzuki expensive what are my was wondering if there I am going to i be able to Diego, and I recently that guy to ask the websites that I order to get alternate Im a 17year old it cost to insure out there who knows to report similar numbers. anxiety and I think or requires everyone to as an SR22 which Basically, I ve got my and don t have any fully comp on my a car. and she .
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this weeks freeform personal post lol
so im kinda getting estranged by my mother tbh like i was quite explicitly told that im making a “lifestyle choice i dont agree with” and that she “cant recognise me” (like, my face is a different shape but what she means is that im not like, rolling over and taking her abuse anymore) and i cant be like taking hormones and using a different name and expecting to be like, part of the family yknow. and like, her partner will just follow suit and ive already estranged my older sister lmao and like, highkey im not confident i’ll get into 3rd year and like, yknow. on a triangle of ‘disowned’ ‘trans’ and ‘drop out’ im pretty sure i can only handle two and like, v v highkey i want to just like, kill myself and avoid the whole thing and like, i’m v aware that, other than this one medically induced manic episode in march/april, ive had passive suicidal ideation for like, almost my entire life and ive never done anything about it. idk im v greatful for the valid people in my life rn, im v happy that ive got like, decent people i know irl and online that just kinda, make it seem like a temporary problem? and recently ive had a lot of experiences where ive been able to like, be good for someones life, esp w like, i run the trans forum at uni right, and we’ve had a couple moments where like, people’ve got to see like, other trans people in groups, and just be like ‘huh, we’re not freaks and perverts huh’ and its been good for them and i kinda just wanna keep living for those moments and all these rly cool moments i get to have w my friends and like, ive got a lot of good books im excited about rn, and ive got some money in the bank i dont want them to get, idk. ik a lot of people in my life get really tetchy when i talk about like, suicide after like, i actually tried, and thats fair but like, for the last idk more than 10 years its just been passive and ideative and thats sad but its also like, mostly benign and i dont want people to worry about me. i kinda think im too late to get a summer internship now i had two interviews and i failed one and i dont want to work in a care home all summer and i kinda want to piss off to glasgow and stay w finn and thats not an easy option but i think it’d be good for me like idk what work i could do in glasgow but i could do some shitty job right,i dont have to do internships now i guess, idk im really tetchy about experience and esp trying to get experience where a change of name isnt an issue. yknow, like job hunting is demeaning enough without revealing a priori youre tranny, idk like, i have a zero hours job in aberdeen but i wanna move out like, asap, like i cannot be here, its just v scary to be in an environment where youre like, actively hated. idk like she didnt harbour any particular hatred to trans people before this like she knew a trans person from my school and used his name and pronouns but idk, maybe i shouldve seen it coming after how tedious she was about me being a faggot like, idk she got over that after a couple months but she just, doesnt want to budge on this, like she sees me using my name and taking hormones and having trans friends as like, an actual insult to her raising me. shes just like I Picked Your Name, I Raised You A Boy, Therein You Will Be And Anything Else Is An Insult To Me As A MoThEr yknow like, god, its not a big deal yknow, you get 2 daughters or you get 3 idc what you do with that fact. and sure, i consider it entirely her problem that she hates trannies but like, being trans AND disowned AND a dropout is just like, too much for me i think like, theres no shame in that life to me but like, theres also no dignity. like theres no dignity anywhere but idk if i can do it yknow. also like, and i hate to like bring up sex work when talking about trans hardship bc it feels like a boogyman trans girls bring up to scare eachother but, idk if i can go back to that? i hate waiting outside and i need poppers for like, anal w people i dont trust (and sometimes w people i do) and like, theyre a v safe drug but too much can put pressure on the eye and im blind enough as it is. i had enough poppers one time that i went colourblind for a moment. that was fun. i was kinda drunk too. in the summer i kinda wanna deal with presentation like learning-to-pass as a skill but like, idk im not butch right but im also like a real person who goes outside lmao. like i cycle in the rain and garden and eat with my hands and im not going to be domesticated at any point tbqh. like im not sure i’ll ever pass in like, the next so many years without like, FFS and laser or smthn, but like, idk ik two things right (1) that im a bit of a feral tomboy and im comfortable in like, trews and shirts, getting dirty and building things so long as im not like, percieved as a man and (2) that i was traumatised for like, almost the entirety of my life for doing anything feminine right. like i got beat up in the engineering club at school a lot bc i wasnt like, masc enough to be in that space lol, or even if i didnt get beat up like, there was like, idk what you’d call it like preformative beating up? like unwarrented roughhousing? like pretending to kick someone but Just For The Banter Obviously, We Weren’t Trying To Intimidate The Faggot At All Sir. yknow. and like, obvi like the usual words and jokes we usually use to talk about fem men or men who arent masc enough or whatever. and like, trying to separate (1) from (2) yknow. like thats a task and a half. and like, esp recently where im like, not feeling like a pervert and an intruder 100% of the time w like, lesbian spaces. like obvi ik im not welcome by most there right, but like, idk ik a few lesbians who are like, idk at least on surface dont seem to consider me an outsider and i kinda, get to talk about the fact i like women without like, being seen as a man and a pervert and a rapist for it yknow. and thats been like, a bit of a moment for me. bc like, idk i like women and i kinda havent been thinking about that for a long time bc i dont want to be seen as a man and like, ik ive always liked women, i just like, didnt think that i could like, engage with other women who might like me, without like, having to Perform Man and all that implies and, idk yknow, its not like im having a sexual awakening or ive discovered a two way strap on lovehoney im just like, idk, not not-welcome sometimes for the first time in forever and that kinda means rethinking a few things about where i position myself etc. and thats largely fun now that im like, idk, i have more language-tools to do it than the last few times ive had to consider who-i-love-and-how yknow. and like, idk ive mostly been playing the same fiddle as i always have with like, having this gayboi dress sense and slang and idk, maybe it’d be fun to get a bit of a more lesbian of a haircut or smthn, but like, id have to do it in one of the gay barbers in glasgow bc i dont trust any barbers in aberdeen to not cut my hair Like A Man yknow also i havent been to my usual hairdressers in months bc im growing out the sides and idk what theyd say like i need my split ends done but i dont want them to go in and speak about my hair and my bikes and my ex lmao i used to go get haircuts w my ex and also i have v bad hair and ive recently decided im ok with it being curly so im just like, idk learning what to do with that tbh idk yeah, once whoevers in the kitchen leaves im gonna make a cheese toasty bc thats what ive been craving all day
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420710ge-blog · 7 years
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my first entry
all of these entries will be more or less stream of consciousness
Im watching queer eye. SO I felt like writing a blog and starting a blog bc im emotional and severely depressed. ( if the fab 5 could re vamp me and my life omg)
I'm trying to grasp this concept that i am 28 years old
and i STILL have no idea who the fuck I am or what the fuck am i gonna do.
what i do know is I am a single. I am straight-ish haha (no one is straight these days eff lables and gender norms) I live in a basement. The neighborhood I live in isnt the best in my opinion for me. I know I enjoy cities and hustle and bustle and noise. this area is not where i want to spend a long period of time in. I have my drivers license but dont have a car. I'm on a fixed income. I am very very poor. I've been struggling with money my whole life. My mother was struggling with money and work my whole childhood ive come to learn. i feel like my mom maybe didn't give me all the right tools i needed to make it in this world.
I'm not a good cook, but i enjoy cooking and wish I was good. I eat very unhealthy. I dont know how to shop for groceries or clothes. i eat fast food,microwaves meals and snacks, cheese and crackers, cereal, deli sandwhiches, pb & j, fruit snacks, ice tea, juice and water. (thats basically it unless i go out to eat which is bad bc i have no money for it.)
i cannot grasp the concept of money i dont know how to budget or balance a check book or keep track of spending. i need to put money a side and save and i just cant seem to do it. The money is always being used. i feel like im always in debt or owing money that i never get in front of this wave to start earning actual income every dollar i make is always spoken for and the $1 to 80 dollars that i actually get left over is for cleaning supplies hair products medication condoms tampons pads basically things i need. and im honest in saying i do spend money on food and great craft beer bc its my way of treating myself for actually making a payment or actually getting out of bed, for going hungry for a few days or for having a good mental health day.
My hobbies include filling out job applications, fighting with doctors and secretaries, bill collectors debt collect companies and creditors, watching youtube videos, vloggers and youtubers on my phone and my freinds old old laptop the basement has pretty difficult internet connection and it is freezing cold but other than that its nice it works its a place to sleep and shelter, other hobbies are watching movies and tv, and lastly SLEEP. i sleep 10-14 hours most days or i go 2 days without sleep. i am always over sleeping or i just cant turn my brain and stress and anxiety off just to shut my eyes and sleep. I almost never talk with friends or see other people or go out and hang with friends. the only times i do go out is if someone offers to pay for me or otherwise i cant.
i am addicted to social media. i cant go for more than 15 seconds without checking instrgram or snap chat or youtube or facebook. i can easily spend 11 hours going back and forth between those 4 sites. it is very bad for my mental health and its stunted my success bc i cant help but compare myself. and its vicious negative cycle that i cant seem to break.
i have to walk or use uber or lyft or public transit to get around which gets very expensive over time. walking and being out waiting for the bus or train is very triggering for my mental health. People who are fortunate to have the luxury to own or lease a car please realize the people who cannot afford a car or cannot drive for whatever reason are not second class citizens. People and humans are very nasty and rude and more terrible than youd imagine. having to walk everywhere and be in with the public as much as i have turns you into a cynical abrasive aggresive hateful and rageful person. for example a few weeks ago a car turned on the street that i was walking on and the walk sign was lit and he had a yellow switching to a red, her turned quickly to beat the light that he didnt see me or the walk sign and was inches away from me so i ran after his car and punched the shit out of the passenger window. i spazed out like that bc i had a week of walking in the freezing cold (and living in a super cold place) being rained on and splashed by the puddles being ran thru by cars, teenagers on busses making fun of me throwing things at me, people in cars yelling shit at me and the others standing at a bus bc we dont have a car and we have to wait in the cold assuming that we were all bums or homeless.
I am not happy or passionate about things i use to be obsessed with. I grew up loving comedy. stand up sketch improv.
i use to perform. i would go see it all the time it meant the world to me it is what i wanted t0 do with my life.
but now I dont and i think its was stupid. and a waste of time. same with college it was a waste of time and money to get a degree in something i have no passion about anymore. and a degree in something in which there are no jobs for you.it was terrible decision i made. one of the billions of terrible decisions i ahve made in my life
I have zero self confidence and i barely care what my appearance looks like anymore. i glance in mirrors but never really look at myself. I dont look people in the eyes anymore. I think so hard about what i am saying for i say that it comes out more often that not weird or incorrect bc i am so worried about what others are thinking about me so then that leads to me getting made fun of for how i talk or how i say things. I am always the butt of my friends jokes im always being poked fun at or pranked or messed with.
I dress like 15 year old skate kid. i have nothing that is appropriate for like an office or an audition  or job interview or business meeting or family event or a formal event or cocktail party. i dont know how to dress for my age or for my gender. 
I am super lazy and messy but i have been working on it.
i use cannabis recreationally not everyday but definitely multiple times a week. when i can afford it. it helps clear my head and use the same way a person uses a nice glass of wine at the end of a long day. i dont think its wrong or inhibiting me as a person. sometimes it even helps with motivation and helps get me out of a depressive funk.
I am severely depressed and have an anxiety disorder.
I over think about everything. i make plans and lists for every scenario that i am going to encounter on a daily basis its almost obsessive. my train of thought before entering a conversation with anyone is “do not say anything weird dont look at them for to long, dont fidget, omg what are they thining about when they are looking at me, am i ugly and i coming off as weird or immature or nervous.” 
I lost alot of very important people in my life bc of death or from people and friends and family just cutting me off and people to live the rest of their lives without me. it makes me judge and hate everyone.
I am constantly worried that i am gonna become homeless live on the streets and become a junkie. I actually think about this so so so much. i actually shocked from what i have been thru that i havent become a junkie yet.
I dont want what most white women in their late twenties want and crave. i dont relate or most girls in my age range. its hard for me to find things in common with my peers.
I dont want to buy or own a house. renting forever is fine by me
I do want to buy and own a car preferably a truck but a small suv could work too.
I dont want a family. I dont want children my own or adoptive. I dont want to live in the suburbs or in a neighborhood with tons or old people and families.
i dont want marriage i think its problematic and dumb thing to subject yourself to.
i enjoy soccer and skateboarding and true crime movies and tv shows and horror movies and tv shows.i like some funny things but its selective. i love the sims.
i want to try out living in other states in the us and maybe even try living in the uk.
if i was rich i would want 2 small apartments in central city locations on both coasts of the us one on one and one on the other. and ill use my money to travel. i am craving to travel so badly its all i have been thinking about lately. but again no funds
i want to meet someone who just totally sweeps me off my feet. somone who knows how to be a real man and real boyfriend im tired iof these boys i need a guy who calls me out on my bs, gives constructive criticism, incredibly supportive and KIND. i want our respectfulness to be at an 100%. i want to feel worshipped and adored. i want them to be succesful and be able to bring me up and boost me forward. great listener. not sleepy or annoyed very easily. insane dark weird goofy sense of humor. id love them to be outgoing and be able to command a room and be comfortable around people new and old. great sex and adventures. currently im giving my ex a chance and its prolly a terrible idea.
i want a makeover i want to learn how to dress myself correctly and figure what my style is, make money and keep money, how to cook, how to skateboard, how to surf, how to take care of my skin and my hair. I want to learn how to work out where i wont make my current ailments and injuries and medical issues flare up and put me out of business for few days. id like to have toned arms back shoulders and legs and to not be winded dont everyday tasks.
if i had to make a dream cocktail. and the final result would be the new me i would throw in the blender: confidence of a drag queen, the wit and sharp tongue of joan rivers, the comedic timing of sean hayes, riley reids sex skills, the intelligence and maturity of michelle obama, pinks hair and singing skills, kat dennings body and dgaf attitude. that would be the perfect me in my eyes.
I want to make everyone proud of me. and I want to be proud of myself. 
idk what this was but its on the internet
-GE
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yeont4n · 7 years
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Answer all!!
here we fuckn goooooooooo
we are bulletproof: if you could be any superhero, who would you be and why?
u kno that 1 girl from sky high whose only power was shapeshifting into a hamster? her. no reason
no more dream: if you woke up tomorrow to be incredibly famous, how would you react?
id go check my mailbox to collect all my free promotional gifts and then prolly fake my own death
i like it: if you could reverse any moment in your life, what would that moment be? 
there’s 1 thing but im not rlly gonna expose myself like tht on here smh
n.o: biggest pet peeve?
loud chewing/loud eating,,,,,,
we on: how do you deal with people who don’t like you?
i dont deal wit it lmfao it’s not my business who likes me n who doesn’t unless someone’s being particularly vocal about it:// in that case i’d prolly jus laugh about it
if i ruled the world: what would you do if you found out that you were an heir to a wealthy kingdom?
lmfao. idk tbh prolly decide which breed of dog i wanted to be known for loving
coffee: what’s your coffee order?
i dont order coffee often buh somethin w a lot of sugar.
cypher pt. 1: if you had to be part of a kpop group, what position would you want to be (i.e. leader, visual, lead vocal, dancer, rapper, maknae, etc.)
maknae i guess? how about staff
rise of bangtan: when and how did you get into the king and legends, also known as bangtan sonyeondan?
i saw a video of yoongi performing intro:nevermind in like 2015 n was :o ! buh never looked into it. in 2016 i saw the fire and bst dance practice vids and was like :0!??? but again, never looked into it. then finally spring day/not today mvs dropped n i FINALLY looked into who these boys were n jus fell down an ever spiraling rabbit hole.. now we here
satoori rap: what does home mean to you?
a feeling. i mean i have a few physical manifestations of the concept of home: my town, my school, my house. things i can return to. but really it’s a feeling isn’t it?? safety, familiarity, comfort, fondness
boy in luv: when you are interested in someone (romantically, sexually, etc.), does your behavior change?
yeah probably altho i dnt have many data points to go over rn
just one day: who would you want to spend the last day of your life with?
yall expectin me 2 say bts buh id want 2 be wit my friends n family . bts can b there 2 if they want
tomorrow: goal that you would like to achieve within the next year?
get into..... college.....
cypher pt. 2: one thing about yourself you wish people would appreciate more?
i never express appreciation n all that verbally thru words or physically thru touch buh i have my own ways of showin tht i care n i guess it dont count if i dont communicate explicitly like: hey ilu ! . what happened to actions speak louder than words smh
spine breaker: what is your weakness when it comes to spending money?
makeup!!!!!!!!!! >
jump: favorite childhood memory?
getting my dog tina!!!!
miss right: what is your ideal ‘type’?
physically i tend 2 like the boyish types likkee think taehyung inu era i guess. boy next door vibes; ive never rlly been into the macho build or the preppy, neat look, or the rough around the edges, angsty shithead badboy exterior model like i like my boys S.O.F.T.! puppy-ish!
personality wise i guess jusssss idk i’m gonna copy n paste a list of qualities i look 4 in a partner that i wrote for a different ask game a while back: Sense of humor, openmindedness, compassion, reliability, ability 2 communicate directly/emotional maturity, ambition/drive/work ethic, etc.
i like it pt. 2: dream date? 
yall prolly expecting me to say smthn like staying in n watching movies n eating junk but i’d prolly wanna go out n do smthn ngl. not a movie where u can hardly even speak or a dinner date where u feel trapped n stiff buh smthn fun n mildly competitive n engaging ??????? although jus chillin dont sound so terrible either
danger: have you ever had a near-death experience?
kinda not really it was on hampton beach n i had an allergic reaction but i wasnt on death’s door or nuthn
war of hormone: most embarrassing moment?
i bled thru my fucking pants in like 7th grade n it got on the chair! it was bad lol i was jus talking about this w my friend n she was like “yeah i remember that haha:)” shut up caitlin
hip hop lover: three songs that are meaningful to you?
moonlight sonata, ballade no. 1 in g minor, bts’ entire discography ties for 3rd
let me know: are you good at keeping secrets?
no lmfao . keeping my own, sure.
rain: most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?
some words that have never been used to describe me, grace: spontaneous, easy going, flexible. the most impulsive thing i’ve done is prolly take a random sidestreet omw home just for the heck of it lol
cypher pt. 3: favorite outfit to wear?
cute jeans w a belt, a crop top. white adidas. i like dresses too tho!! n i really like layered clothes (a mock turtle neck under a slip dress or like a pinstripe button up under a babydoll fit blouse. i jus think it’s fuckin adorable)
blanket kick: longest time you’ve spent lying in bed (sleeping or not)? 
prolly 2 or 3 days
24/7 = heaven: what are you most looking forward to?
fuck i rlly dk . doesnt that suck??
look here: do you have any hidden talents?
i can burp on command lmfaoofdj
second grade: proudest accomplishment?
dont ask me this if u dnt want to be made uncomfortable by how genuinely unproud of myself i am lol
i need u: are you in love?
wit k*m t*aehy*ng? yeah.
hold me tight: does physical contact comfort you?
no........... maybe i havent found the right person but it’s not my cup of tea generally speaking
love is not over: ever had your heart broken?
no but now i know what i can look forward to haha
dead leaves: how loyal are you?
im rlly loyal if that commitment is mutual. w my family i’m ride or die i’ll fuck anyone up who comes for my asshole brother idc!!!!!!!!!
move: last time you cried?
cant remember,, i dnt cry much. prolly watching reply 1988 when bo ra and her dad were exchanging letters on her wedding day.
butterfly: most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?
his name looks similar to my url thats the only hint im giving
run: do you like traveling? if so, where? what’s your dream vacation?
i dnt really like travelling tbh but i do wanna go back to korea one day. not necessarily as a tourist but as a diasporic korean person myself
ma city: if you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
idk. i cant imagine not living in the states tbh but i also cant say i love it here either
baepsae: do you vote and/or keep up with politics?
i can’t vote but i’m in my school’s youth vote committee which runs debates for local elections and registration drives at the end of the year. i kept up with politics a lot more last year but after the election i jus got 2 bitter. i know what’s going on but only sort of surface level smh
dope: what did you want to be when you were younger? how does it compare to what you want to be now?
i wanted to be a teacher lmfao and i wanted to commute to college n save $$ bc i was a practical little fucker even when i was 6. these days i’m not that interested in teaching bc a) i’d be objectively bad at it and b) i was a classroom mentor for elementary schools and... realized i can’t work w kids tht small every damn day i’d rlly snap
fire: are you a spontaneous person?
no~
save me: your favorite place on earth?
rn??? m y bed
young forever: what is one movie from your childhood that you will always treasure?
august rush lol
boys with fun: you’re going on a roadtrip with seven other people– dead, alive, fictional, real, famous, or not. who are they, and why?
really......... seven other people:)? guess.
converse high: how many pairs of shoes do you own?
12??? 3 are the same black heel lmfao n a lot i havent worn in years but i still technically own them. i rlly b wearing the same 4 pairs in a cycle n 1 rotten bleach stained soggy mess for work shoes.
whalien 52: weirdest thing that has ever happened to you? alternatively, weirdest dream you’ve ever had?
weirdest dream i ever had was way too long to type out n had way too many references to people in my personal life to ever be interesting lmao
house of cards: when was the last time you felt sexy?
HAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAAHHAAH?????????????????
boy meets evil: have you ever committed a crime? if so, what was it? alternatively, what is the worst thing you have ever done?
does speeding count smh.
blood, sweat, & tears: kinkiest kink you have?
rolling eyes emoji. pass!
begin: who are you most grateful for in your life?
my parents!
lie: biggest fear?
real talk? failure. abandonment but i’m adopted, how cliche. also bugs
stigma: would you rather know the date of your death or the cause of your death?
date of death bc if i knew the cause but not have any indication of when it’d hit me, i’d be a paranoid agoraphobic wreck for the rest of my life
first love: do you believe in soulmates?
yes but i also believe you can have more than one! and that soulmates aren’t exclusively romantic
reflection: if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?
get ur fucking bangs cut
mama: are you good at giving advice?
yeah i think so
awake: if you had to be a flower, which flower would you be?
lazy daisy
lost: how good are you with directions? do you get lost easily?
horrible horrible horrible. directionally challenged. i can’t even find my way to the fucking grocery store down the road on my own. if i ever missed an exit on the highway you’d never hear from me again, i could never find my way back without a gps. i’m dead serious
cypher pt. 4: what do you do to treat yourself or relax?
take a bath or a long long shower. eat smthn warm, drink tea, do a face mask, change my sheets n snuggle up watchin a drama or movie or playin sims
am i wrong: you wake up one morning in the hospital, knowing only your name and a single memory from your life. what is that memory?
wtf how do i answer this lmfao how wud i know lol
21st century girls: do you prefer texting, calling, or video chatting?
texting! calling if it’s a long story though
2!3!: your favorite thing about bangtan?
their modesty and grace ! they’re a true underdog success story >
spring day: who do you miss right now?
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
not today: what are your procrastinating right now?
math summer work smh
wings: on airplanes, do you prefer the window seat, the middle seat, or the aisle seat?
window seat!
you never walk alone: how many people do you trust with your life?
4?
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