#and interactible stuff and stickers and stuff glued in

[somethingsomethingcomic]

jank junk June

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

𝐒𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐬 𝐓𝐨 𝐋♡𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬 [Tension]

You're both not who you pretend to be.

Tags/Warnings: Fuckboy!Jungkook, Fuckgirl!Reader, Angst, Misunderstandings, Friends/Enemies to lovers, Very suggestive, adult, hurt and comfort, smut, did I mention angst? It's worth it in the end tho promise,

Length: 4k Words + Next Chapter preview

There is no taglist for this fic.

-> Masterlist

A/N: Idk anymore I'll write what I want.

♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

While Jungkook isn’t pushy, he definitely isn’t letting go either.

Any chance he can get at spending time with you, he takes- just like now, as he’s kneeled on the floor, currently taking apart some of your furniture for you since you’ve cut one of your hands by accident a day prior, Yoongi having spilled the info of that accident to Jungkook. You’ve made it very clear that you take this as an act of betrayal- but Yoongi didn’t seem to really care.

“I don’t think you can really put this up another time.” Jungkook mentions, tapping the hinge connecting to one of the doors of the small dresser with the screwdriver. “It’s been glued a couple of times already. I don’t think it’s gonna survive another try.” He tells you, and you just shrug.

“Well, then we’ll throw it away.” You just sigh, having watched him from the sidelines ever since he started working.

Jungkook suddenly moves, back of his shirt a bit damp from having worked admittedly pretty hard to take down your bigger furniture earlier. He sits in front of you, legs crossed, looking right at you- and you instantly cross your arms defensively.

You know what he wants. You won’t give it to him. “talk to me.” He says again, and it’s not really a demand, but more so him pleading. Asking.

Trying to get through.

“Nothing to say.” You shrug, and his eyes narrow at that, before he gets up and takes a hammer, offering it to you. “what?”

“Smash it.” He nods towards the small dresser, and you hesitate. “Come on.”

“I can’t.” You deny, pointing at your bandaged hand, and he nods, taking the hammer from you.

“Right. I’ll do it then.” He admits, arm lifting to gain momentum to deliver the hit to the side of the dresser, when you call out in panic, having gotten up as if to protect it-

But jungkook clearly never intended to really do it, instead just looking at you now with an unreadable expression.

“Listen.” He gets down again, setting the tool aside as he watches you look at the wooden furniture, decorated with faded stickers. “just.. at least tell me if you’re in any trouble?” He asks, and you look up at that. “do you owe someone money? Or is someone stalking you?” He worries, and you shake your head.

“No- God no, none of that.” You deny, and he sighs.

“see, that I believe.” He tells you. “your whole body language, the way you answered- that’s believable. But everything else is bullshit.” He denies you, and you get up at that, walking out of the room. “and now you’re running away- again!” He calls out defeated, getting up himself to follow you into your bathroom where you put all your skincare products into a box. “I’m trying hard to figure out what the fuck I did. Am I being too pushy?”

“No..” you mumble, putting more stuff away, avoiding interaction with him as much as you can. But much to your dismay, he’s got the audacity to take items out again. “Jungkook-“

“are you scared you’ll hurt my feelings if you shut me down?” He asks, and you roll your eyes. “stop that and talk to me-“

“as if anything could scratch your ego!” You tell him, feeling too pushed into a corner right now. “There’s nothing anyone could say that would ever really hurt a guy like you.!” You huff, not noticing the way he froze up for a good moment until a few seconds later when you’ve noticed him no longer reaching for anything.

“ouch.” He comments. “care to explain what you mean by that?” He asks, arms crossed.

“You’ve got like, everything!” You rant, folding your towels, avoiding eye contact. “you’re hot, you got the looks, great at flirting, you-..” you cut yourself off before you can ramble too much, accidentally revealing anything that could blow your cover, but it’s clear from his next words that his suspicions have been awoken.

“if I’m all of that, why not be with me?” he asks, watching you like a hawk now. “you’ve fucked Jimin, and stayed friends. So don’t come at me with that ‘Our friendship will be ruined’ bullshit.” He calls out, and you swallow.

He’s onto you.

“Thats different.” You say, avoiding the topic now, pushing past him out of the bathroom, but he doesn’t let go.

Following you around into the kitchen, giving you no chance to escape or even somehow make up new excuses in your head as he suddenly speaks again.

“Because it didn’t happen?”

You’re frozen, standing in front of the opened fridge, staring right at a bottle of water and a pack of shredded cheese as you feel your blood cool down- and it’s not from the temperature inside the device. Not even the beeping of the big device telling you to close it to save energy wakes you out of that trance, as your thoughts go wild.

How does he know?

How much does he know?

Does he even know at all or is he just bluffing?

“I knew you’d never fuck him.” He chuckles, closing the door for you, arm over your shoulder slowly retreating as he sits down at your small kitchen table, waiting for you to turn around. “and his story was always inconsistent. So was yours.” He explains how he caught the lie. “if you want to make shit up, at least agree on a Version to tell everyone.”

“so what?” You sigh, trying to keep up your act as you turn around- taken aback by the horribly soft look on his face, head leaning on his hand while his elbow rests on the table.

“Exactly. So what?” He asks you, visibly relaxing now that he’s got the confirmation he needed to know that what he’s been thinking. “But that’s not the only lie, is it?” He questions, and the way your eyes move away from his gives him an answer already. “Is that it? You lied and now you want to run away from it?” He questions, and you just let yourself go, sitting down on the floor in front of the fridge, defeated. You don’t care if you act like a child right now, it’s not like there’s any dignity left to cling to anyways.

You’re tired. You can’t keep this shit up anymore, you can’t deal with the stress of leaving even though you don’t want to, you can’t take the whole situation any longer.

“Yeah go on now. Laugh.” You mumble, hugging your knees. “close the door on your way out.”

“Now why would I do that?” He shakes his head as he sighs, moving to sit down in front of you again, on the floor, though he keeps some distance. “what made you... create this whole charade? Was it me?” he asks, visibly interested.

You shrug. You just want to vanish right now.

“I don’t.. it’s stupid.” You mumble, avoiding his gaze as you feel yourself begin to cry from the embarrassment.

“Hm yeah, kind of.” He admits. “how much of it was a lie? I mean, I have an idea, but I just.. would like for you to come clean yourself.” He shrugs, carefully tapping your knee with his finger, careful not to push you too far.

“everything.” You say. “I’ve.. the parties. And jimin. And everything else.”

“So you don't find me hot?” He teases, trying to lighten the mood a little, seeing you glare at him with watery eyes. “Hey, come on. Yeah it’s stupid, but we all did stupid shit sometimes.”

“Not as bad as me.” You deny. “I literally lied.. just to get your attention.” You say quietly, and he tries hard not to grin.

“Which is kind of cute, I have to admit..” He teases, but you don’t seem up for the joke. “But why did you think you had to make up that stuff?”

“Because.. You’re you. And I’m just.. an awkward virgin who acts a lot more confident than she is.” You say.

Jungkook falls quiet at that. While he knew to some extend that a lot of your stories were lies- mostly because the finer details didn’t add up or made any sense- he didn’t know how far exactly it went, so this info definitely changes some things.

“I’m sorry you.. fell for a fraud.” You mumble, and he shakes his head.

“I don’t think I fell for a fraud-“ he denies, “-because I never fell for any of that anyways.” He shakes his head. “I fell for the way you basically recite your dreams to me whenever something interesting happened in them. How you helped me find a good present for my mom’s birthday when I almost forgot it, even though you don’t even know her. Your laugh, your sense of humor, fuck, the way you greet me with a hug even when you’re pissed at me.” He sighs. “What made you think that sex was all I cared about?” He complains, and you feel even worse now.

“I just.. we don’t have anything in common.” You sniffle. “nothing. And I wanted you to like me so bad..” you confess, making him shake his head.

“we love Disney movies.” He responds. “we both love banana milk. We collect stickers. We like the same scents. We’re both dog people.” He gives as examples, before he runs a hand over his face. “so that’s it? That’s the big thing?” He asks, and you nod. “I mean.. yeah. This isn’t.. I hope you can understand me too here. I’m going to be a bit suspicious of stuff in the future until I know you’re not making stuff up again.” He says, and you look at him at that. “but that’s no reason to run away from me.”

“it is.” You deny. “I don’t.. I have a horrible crush on you.” You admit freely now, hiding your face in your knees. “I really like you.” You confess, and he moves closer at that, hands on the sides of your head gently forcing you to look at him.

“and that’s a bad thing?” He wonders, wiping your cheeks. “show me the real you. I’d love to fall for that instead.” He offers.

“There’s nothing to fall for.” You deny.

“Well, I’ll decide that for myself.”

♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

“Did you ever have your first kiss?” Jungkook asks randomly, hands shaping the pizza dough into the- somewhat- appropriate shape. Your a little hypnotized by the way his hands move, fingers digging into the soft dough to move it around, turn the outside corner in for the crust to later rise, having made it his mission to somehow figure out how to put cheese in the crust like your favorite delivery service. Suddenly though, one of the hands move, inked fingers snapping in front of your face. “Hey, I asked something.” He laughs, making you look at him.

“I- Oh, yeah.” You nod, before you shake your head. “what was the question?” You correct yourself, and he laughs more at that, shaking his head.

“I asked you if you’ve ever kissed anyone.” He repeats himself, moving to put the sauce on the bare dough now.

“I uh.. yeah. But it’s, I don’t know. Awkward.” You shrug. “not really my thing.” You admit, and he nods.

“Not really your thing, or, just had weird experiences?” He wonders, and you think for a bit.

Most of the time, you’ve been kissed, but you yourself have never kissed anyone. It was ever really.. asked if you wanted to be kissed- the moment had just been chosen by your partners back then, and it had put pressure on you to just go with it as to not make it awkward.

“I mean.. I’ve never made out or anything.” You admit. “and I never kissed anyone. I always got kissed.” You say.

“so you can ask for it at least, that’s good.” He nods to himself, before he notices you being quiet. “you.. did ask for it, right?” He questions with an oddly serious tone, and you shrug.

“the timing was always right I guess.” You answer. “I never asked, no. It just.. you know, when you’re being driven back home from a date, that’s when you kiss.” You tell him, and Jungkook shakes his head.

“No, hold on there, wait.” He denies. “They asked you though, right?” He questions, but you shake your head.

“Like I said when you-“ you start, but he shakes his head, hands on your shoulders now.

“No, none of that.” He presses. “You’re not obligated to do anything just because someone took you out. You’ll never be obligated to do me a favour just because I take you out. Got it?” He asks, and you nod, a bit taken aback by how serious he is. “if you don’t want something, you’ll have to say it. Please, promise me that.”

You nod. “I promise.” You say, and he sighs, relieved, before he brushes off the faint marks of flour on your skin.

“I’m sorry, it’s just..” he shakes his head as he resumes his task of preparing food for you both. “..nothing. Anyways- never kissed then, got it.” He nods to himself. “so we’re basically starting from scratch.”

“we’re?” You ask, unsure as he nods.

“We’re. I know of your secret, I know you like me, I like you too- so, what’s speaking against it?” He wonders, before he looks at you. “Do you want to be with me?” He asks, and you think for a second, before you nod.

“I’m just-” You start, but he just laughs.

“Not what I thought you were, I know. That’s why I’m saying we’re starting from scratch- I'm basically going to get to know you for real this time.” He tells you, putting the toppings onto the pizza that you both agreed on earlier.

He’s taking this so lightly. Like it’s nothing.

“I’ll still leave.” You remind him however, but again, he only nods to himself, sprinkling the shredded cheese onto the pizza he’s preparing. “And you’ll.. If we’re like.. Together, you can’t hook up with anyone else anymore.” You say, and he sighs, moving the food into the oven.

“I don’t know when that thought grew in your head, but let me get something straight.” He starts, setting up the right temperature and time before he braces himself against the kitchen counter you sit on, face turned towards you with a serious expression. “Yes, I enjoy sex. Yes, I have had it a lot.” He explains. “No, it’s not everything I always think about. Neither is it something that I absolutely need every day of the week.” Jungkook tells you, and you feel a bit guilty with the way he phrases it. “What made you think that’s all I’d want from you?” He wonders.

“Nothing, just..” You shrug, looking down at your knees. “I guess it was the easy way.”

“Let’s just start over then. Entirely.” He proposes. “I’ll get to know you- and you’ll get to know me. Because its pretty obvious you don’t know me either.” Jungkook says, and you nod, a bit ashamed.

“Sorry.” You apologize, but he instead puts a handful of shredded cheese in his mouth, before he offers it to you-

Laughing when you stuff your cheeks with it as well, finally breaking free.

♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

“what’s wrong, hm?” Jungkook says, entering your apartment after you’d texted him that you didn’t feel good.

He first thought it might be sickness- but from your tearful eyes and the blanket around your shoulders, he now realizes that you’re not feeling mentally good. And he’s happy that you reached out for him, that you finally jumped over your shadow and sought him out, proving that you seemed to be truthful in trying to be more honest with him.

“I don’t want to leave.” You say, crying again as you sit down on your living room couch, the only thing still left untouched.

“Oh baby..” jungkook laughs a little to himself, sitting down next to you to run a comforting hand over your back. “didn’t you say that you could just work for the office here?” He asks, and you nod, though shrug too.

“they’ll be mad when I say.. that I wanna switch back again..” you mumble, hiccuping still here and there. It breaks his heart a little to see you this upset- but he also knows that you dug yourself into this mess all by yourself. This is just the consequences of your own actions.

“Well, that’s going to just be the punishment you’ll have to take.” Jungkook tells you, and while his tone is teasing, his gaze is still kind and comforting. “I’ll have your back too- you can stay at my place until you found something else, since you’re already supposed to be out of this apartment by next week.” He reminds you, and you sigh.

“But I’ll impose, don’t tell me I won’t.” You argue looking at your feet. “I’ll just have to go through with it-“.

“I wouldnt be offering my place if i wasnt comfortable with the idea of you around all the time.” He playfully denies. “maybe try and not run around in your underwear and I’ll keep my hands to myself too as a bonus.” He flirts, and you can’t help but giggle a bit at that.

“Maybe I don’t want you keeping them to yourself?” You ask, making him grin a little.

“Careful there. Don’t start something you can’t finish.” He teases, before he moves into a more comfortable position, pulling you closer. “Well figure this all out. You’re not alone, alright?” He tells you, and you nod.

“Jungkook?” You wonder randomly after a good moment of just silence, and he hums as a reply before you talk again. “how do you ask for.. a kiss? Or like.. I don’t know. Forget it.” You mumble more or less to yourself making him chuckle.

“No can do. Now you’ve got my attention.” He teases a little, hands on your arms running up and down in reassurance. “You want a kiss right now?” He wonders, and you shrug.

“I’ve never.. like, made out with anyone.” You admit.

“And you want to do that with me?” He wonders, making you nod- before you shake your head.

“Yes? I don’t know.” You admit. “I don’t know what it’s like, so I don’t know if I like it. What if I don’t?” You worry, and he sighs.

“Then you don’t. Simple as that.” He shrugs. “What if you just gave me a kiss? See how that feels?” He offers as an option, and you bite at your lips for a second, before you move around to face him, eyes moving from his lips to his eyes for a moment.

“right now?” You wonder, and he smiles.

“If you want to.” He answers, still relaxed as ever. It reassures you, the fact that he’s so at ease- you don’t want to fuck this up, and you also don’t want to seem dumber than you actually are. His experience is a little intimidating to you- what if he thinks you’re lame? You most likely are. Anything you both will do will be boring to him, you realize. “hey- talk to me.” He snaps you out of your thoughts, and you pull your attention back to the situation at hand. “what’s worrying you?” He wonders.

“I want to impress you I guess.” You huff impatiently. “I want you to be like, ‘wow’ at something I do but I don’t have any idea what to do to like, get that reaction from you.” You explain, making his eyes soften.

“What makes you think that you need to impress me?” He wonders, and you look down at his chest.

“I don’t.. Taehyung once said that.. you know, you get bored easily..” you mumble, and Jungkook’s eyes widen for a second, before he clocks his tongue.

“you know, I envy you a little bit because of that.” He tells you, and that answer catches you off guard. “once you.. have a lot of sex, and have kissed a lot of people, it all loses its spark, you know?” He explains almost melancholic. “it’s like a book. You can only read it for the first time once- after that, you’re always prepared for what’s to come. It’s no longer new. Nothing exciting. Only.. maybe comforting at best.” He shrugs. “I wish I could have those early experiences back. That spark.” He admits. “i don’t want or need to be impressed. Not like this, at least.” He offers you. “I just.. want something permanent. Something real.”

“Why.. havent you been in a relationship before then?” You wonder. “if you want something permanent.”

“because no one wants that with someone like me.” He explains to you. “I’m exciting. I’m wild, and adventure. But I’m nothing someone wants to stay with.” He shrugs.

You frown at that. What?

Suddenly, a sentence jimin said years ago slaps you right in the face, full force.

“He falls in love easily, with everything around him. I wish the world around him would do the same for once.”

“Jungkook?” You ask, and he nods, looking at you. “can I kiss you?” You wonder, and he nods.

“Sure.” He teases, and you feel like it’s more of a defensive mechanism at this point. “impress me.” He jokes.

But he quickly seems caught completely off guard when your hands hold his face, before you put your lips on his. He’s truly surprised in that moment- because this is, indeed, new. He’s never been kissed like this before- with so much gentle care and attention, with such warmth that he feels like he’s actually melting right into your hands. It’s one kiss, another, and a third- and his eyes are suddenly only half-open, all words lost as he stares you down. You’re not sure if that was something he liked- but the moment his own hand finds your cheek as well makes you wonder if you really did it right.

“can I kiss you?” He asks quietly, almost a whisper, and you’ve never heard him so fragile before. But you nod- and the moment you do, his lips are on yours- a lot more confident in himself, but slow, soft. He’s taking the lead, easily so- but it’s not overbearing, instead simply an act of adoration. “You know-“ he laughs, out of breath even though this wasn’t ‘steamy’ or heated at all. “-I was joking when I asked you to impress me.”

“You dont have to lie.” You giggle, but he shakes his head, pecking your lips once, twice, again just for good measure.

“I’m not.” He denies. “this is the first time I’ve been kissed like that.”

“like what?” You wonder, unable to look away from that unique expression he’s got on his face.

“like someone's in love with me.”

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NEXT CHAPTER PREVIEW:

“I’m sorry, but I won’t just let myself be some body you can practice on so you can know how to drive and move on to someone that interests you more.” He barks out, agitated, and you’re completely caught off guard, staring him down in disbelief. “I won’t let myself be used like that..” again, he wants to say, but he can’t bring himself to expose this like that. He doesn’t feel safe, he feels like a cornered animal, and the worst part is that he knows he doesn’t even need to say it, because you know what he’s hinting at.

“I’m sorry.” You say, and again, there it is; this stinging pain in his chest at your gentle tone, trying to soothe his wounds with salt it seems like.

“Why are you sorry?” He wants to know, tone dangerously low as he expects you to reveal your intentions to him, at last. “ What are you sorry for?” He wants to know, and you just shake your head.

“I’m sorry I never really looked at you properly.” You admit, and he frowns again, once more left without any control over the situation. “I’m sorry I never noticed you were hurting.” You tell him, and he swallows hard, turning away from you. “I’m sorry I can’t help you.” You say, defeated, and he slaps his kitchen counter in agony, turned away from you.

“Stop apologizing.!” He gets out between clenched teeth, agitated over the fact that he’s got no grasp of the situation.

“I don’t know what else to do.” You say, the soft whine in your tone making it clear that you’re hurting just as much as he is. “I’m.. I’ll stay with jimin-“ you offer, thinking he might want space- but he just groans out, and holds his head, marbled kitchen counter doing nothing to cool his temperature.

“I don’t want you to leave-!” He almost growls, before he braces himself against the counter top, sighing loudly. “fuck.. That’s the last thing I want, ’m just- I’m the one who should say sorry.” He says. “I just.. God I’m so fucked up..” he laughs bitterly, and you do whatever you feel like might help him- leaning against his back, arms wrapped around him. And for a moment, as he lets himself be held for just a moment, you can feel him shake a little under the weight of his own emotions finally seeping through the cracks-

And you’re determined to put his pieces back together, however long it’ll take you.

[nashdoesstuff]

character spread tutorial that nobody asked for [chunky sketchbook edition]

so! you want to make a chunky sketchbook? here are some tips from my end as i make a spread for a swap variant from crest’s multiverse :D

firstly, you want to layer LIKE A MADMAN. grab random things you have lying around your house and paste them in there. receipts, candy packaging, anything works! i like to use receipts, index cards, and colored paper that matches with the theme of what i’m doing, but that’s not really mandatory at all, do as you will!

here are the things i’m using for background— washi tape, blue cardstock, a receipt and some sticky notes :)

a lot of people that i see make tutorials say to add stuff like puffy stickers and trash and don’t get me wrong, this does help!! but my key to getting my sketchbook as it is is merely layers upon layers of paper. trust me when i say that all you need is some thick poster board or cardstock, or even cardboard to make a chunky book.

another note, GET A TAPE RUNNER!!! these things work better than most glues i’ve used in the past and they work WONDERS for scrapbooking. they kind of look like white out, and function as it does, as well!

i use the elmers tape runner, but there are plenty of other ones that work just as well. i painted this one!

your spread should look a bit like this as you start it.

of course, decorate it as you will, it doesn’t have to be identical to mine. i will be adding i move along so don’t stress about random things popping up on mine CACKLES

secondly, make your art on separate pieces of paper than what you’re using. once again, layer like a madman babe TRUST ME!!!!!

bonus points if it’s thicker paper :)

also not a requirement but i like making the drawings i put in these spreads only as sketches and then coloring them once they’re glued in. it’s just my preference and not required at all but i find it entertaining and more pleasurable ^^

here are some of the sketches i have for this spread :)

and here are some colored in!

the last thing here is i would add little details and finalize any sort of other additions you’d like to add like washi tape, decorative stickers, text, stars, etc.

and this is what mine looks like completed!!

of course there are plenty of other ways you could have done this, you could have made it multicolor, you could have added more yellow or grey or whatnot, and every way would have been valid! it’s art— the only limit is your imagination 🫶

i would recommend looking up tutorials for interactives as well to add texture and life to your work!

hope this helps!

[oneinist]

Recap #2: Two months in fandom feels like forever?!

Ao3/Fanfiction So I finally tagged my fics properly... After reading this educational post here. I understand why tags are important and honestly I was just too embarrassed in the beginning but I overcame it.

I got my first gift, squeals, read more about that under Umino hours discord server~

I’ve posted only a few drabbles (which are not limited to 100 words in my world but maybe less than 500 words? dunno). Unfortunately, I’m currently in a writer’s block deluxe so I have taken my refuge in drawing instead, hoping that one day the block will have dissolved on its own and I can get back to writing too. Also I am starting to come to terms with that long fic is probably not my thing, regardless of how much I want to, and I should stick to oneshots... *sobs*

Tumblr/Fanart This month I have been more active on Tumblr, figuring out n00b stuff such as Asks - I got my first and second ask too! Thank you ~~~ @hades-bitch and @kaoruhana08

I even tried my hand at adding and formatting my pages with some basic html (I would love to be able to create my own theme some day). As you can see I love lists. Almost all the pages I’ve added are lists. 

The discovery of this month has been @ao3commentoftheday I am in love.  It is a gold mine and it has already transformed the way I think and interact with fanworks, my own and other’s. I cannot recommend this blog enough. Also it has this fun event-ish thing for weekdays that I followed for a week and will continue to do sporadically: Motivaiton Monday, Trivia Thursday, Work in Progress Wednesday, Thirsty Thursday, Fic Back Friday, Spotlight Saturday and Six Sentence Sunday. 

I also started drawing chibis. I even made 27 (!?!?!?) emojis/sticker, mainly Iruka sensei but some Kakashi in there too of course. I really really really want to draw like I write, meaning SMUTTY, so I have started to try at least. 

I am adopting my motto from @sweetysamaa which is when something seems like it is impossible to draw, that’s what I should draw! and also this ao3 post here on treating yourself as well as one about allowing yourself to take joy in creating and not be hung up on quality but I can’t find it...

I am also baffled by all the new followers, THANK YOU 🧡

Just some sample of past creations~~~

Events

I finally got to working on my Kakashi Summer Bingo board and managed to finish one line before the deadline~~~ I am also working on my KakaIru Maze Challenge, but my writer’s block is affecting that one negatively. I am loving the theme and my prompts, I just have to get over this darn blockage!

Umino hours discord server So, around Tumblr and on KakaIru.rocks I saw references to the Umino Hours not understanding what it was until I came across one of the invite posts. Of course it had already expired even though I saw it in real time... But then I saw that they would let new members in at a certain time. I marked my calendar and got up at 5:45 in the morning, glued to Tumblr, refreshing now and then - ready to click when the post came up. I felt like I was cueing for concert tickets!

Now a month later, I am in awe, the people who run it, the people who take part in it - it is truly amazing. I had a bit of a hard time getting used to the format (new to discord) and some days my brain can’t handle the multiple threads and referencing - but most days it can (Also I found that discord has a lot of settings you can make to have it work better with your brain!!!!! Love accessibility). 

I took part in my first server event Umino Hours Discord Server 90 Minutes To Gift Exchange you can find all the awesome fics here~ I received this wonderful gift from couturecosplay. I’ll be posting the art I did for it and also any other fanart (that isn’t a WIP) I have posted in the server after this I think. 

<3 Kakairu <3 discord server And just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, the awesome @goatbutter-writes creates a KakaIru discord server. Squeals again. You can find the invite here. Please come and hang out, talk about our headcanons be they sfw or nsfw, share fic recs and fanart and aaaall the good stuff~~~

My closing note will probably sound really sappy but I feel like the people in the fandom have filled a hole in my heart I didn’t realize I had, how very Naruto-esque. I didn’t understand how lonely I was until I was welcomed into it. Not only has Covid been a contributing factor but I also moved between countries a year before Covid hit. I have been apart from family and friends and not really ben able to form new friendships. It hit double hard in a way. But, I have my online found family now~~~ Lots of love to you all!!

[chibalein]

Kalafina Live Report: 9+ONE @Kitakyushu - REVISITED

So, this is something I wanted to do for a long time now (almost 3 years to be exact). Back in 2017, when Kalafina was still a thing and times were good, I was lucky enough to live in Japan and able to attend various of Kalafina activities. My first proper concert was their final live of the 9+ONE tour in the city of Kitakyushu/Fukuoka prefecture, in June 2017.

My first live report was certainly different than all the others that followed, less detailed, less emotional so to say. I always wanted to update the whole thing because looking back, there were so many moments during the concert that I - for whatever reason - did not write about enough or not at all. Well, since I have been working at home for quite a while now, I feel like now is the perfect time, as this gives me an amazing reason to be lazy and productive at the same time. Here is my original live report: PART 1  /  PART 2

So, a lot of things will certainly stay the same because I just don’t remember enough of the concert, especially about the vocal performance or things the girls have said during the MCs. I will add some other details that I still remember (hopefully correctly), and describe everything a bit nicer too :)

Let’s do it! Long ass report ahead! again

Back then, I was living in Kanagawa prefecture, but I was too late for tickets of the Yokohama or Tokyo lives. I was planning to visit a friend who lived in Fukuoka city at the time and Kalafina’s Kitakyushu concert perfectly fit into my schedule. Luckily, I was able to buy a ticket via convenience store. As I was pretty late, I got a kinda bad seat in the almost very back of the upper floor.

The morning of the live I arrived in the city of Kitakyushu, which is a rather famous port city at the northern tip of Fukuoka prefecture. The historic town Kokura has a beautiful castle, which I visited as well as Moji port. (After reading Hikaru’s blog post where she said that she also went to see the castle, I was a bit disappointed that I didn’t meet her xD). There’s also TOTO Museum, a museum dedicated to the TOTO company, which is famous for inventing those high-tech toilets that Japan is so known for.

I was kind of warned beforehand that the Kalafina good’s sale would attract a ton of people, so I wanted to be there as early as possible. About two hours too early I arrived at Kitakyushu’s Harmony Cinq Soleil Hall and waited along with a handful of other people. Slowly but steadily more and more people would gather, forming an absurdly long line. Not as extreme as the 10th Anniversary good��s line, but still impressive. Luckily, I was standing in some shade, because it was so damn hot and sunny the entire weekend. When the doors finally opened, I am sure there were like 200-300 people waiting to receive those sweet sweet popcorn buckets that were sold as venue exclusive merchandise. In the end, I bought the T-shirt, the key holder, the popcorn and the clear files, but looking back I do regret not buying the notebook. I wanted the popcorn mainly because of the Kitakyushu exclusive sticker - the popcorn itself had the flavor chocolate + soda (I think?), which I remember thinking was the shittiest combo of all flavors they had. It didn’t taste as bad as I thought but I still think it was overpriced. Together with the ticket itself, I ended up spending about 100€, which I thought was a lot, especially as there were people buying the entire collection and even more... hahahaha, oh innocent, naive past me, I didn’t know what was coming to me yet.

(Photo: in front of the venue)

I do love my merch though. I still wear all my Kalafina T-shirts at home, and while in Japan I had the key holder... hold my keys, making it all dirty and bent now lol The popcorn cup is decorating my shelf to this day.

Anyway, after getting my stuff, I went on to walk around, grab something to eat and even made friends with a Japanese girl, sharing our Kalafina love. Later, when people were admitted, probably around 800-900 people were there, quite a view! I saw some foreigners as well, and even made friends with a Philippine girl as well :D

(Photo: merch table at the venue)

(Photo: the stuff I bought)

While entering, staff was handing out little goodie bags, mostly with flyers and ads for other events or the obligatory concert questionnaire. However, that bag included our very own 9+ONE Lights! I took my seat which wasn’t as far from the stage as I thought, but I still would not be able to see the girls’ expressions.

When the concert finally started, a black but transparent screen was lowered (you know it from the 9+ONE DVD) and they started to play an overture version of “Samidare ga sugita koro ni”. Meanwhile we got see a collection of Kalafina’s entire discography, where each title of their songs, even in their respective font if available, was shown and merged into a white cloud, revealing our ladies.

(Photo: stage before the concert started)

They started with “Samidare ga sugita koro ni”. I remember it being good and nice, but I was never really fond of that song, even though it has grown on me a bit. We all clapped along and had our fun.

It continued with “misterioso”, also a song that has grown on me over time. While everyone was staying seated and enjoying themselves before, all the dudes in the arena seats jumped to their feet, being an upbeat song and stuff. I was grateful for the upper floor to have stayed seated almost the entire time, because being so far away was shitty enough and I didn’t want to spend 2 hours standing.

Anyhow, this song revealed some flaws in either the acoustics of the hall or the mixing of the sound technicians (I guess the latter?). Wakana was uncomfortably loud most of the time, drowning out the other two, but especially Hikaru - in some songs more than in others and more often than not when she wasn’t in the lead too. Some of her notes simply made me cringe. Hikaru on the other hand seemed to be feeling the exhaustion of the tour. On many occasions, she sounded tired, especially when it came to hit those high or long notes. The band didn’t help either, they also drowned out many parts of the singing... Maybe it was just this venue though and luckily, the 10th Anniversary wasn’t like this. Then again, I only attended acoustic lives or lives without band after that, so who knows how they sound when there is no DVD recording going on XD

Next was “Lacrimosa”, and this time Wakana wasn’t being as cringy as before. Poor Hikaru doing nothing for most of the time. One cool moment was that short pause after their “LA-CRI-MO-SA” part, right before the final chorus. The stage turned deep red with the girls reaching out to the audience. When you don’t know that this is coming, it’s an incredibly powerful move.

I don’t remember what they said during MC#1, other than greeting the audience and the usual “We hope you have fun” stuff. I do remember Hikaru welcoming us to the Harmony Cinq Kitakyushu Soleil Hall, by saying the entire name of the hall, and then saying something along the lines of “Thank god I didn’t trip over my tongue” (it’s a lot harder to say that name in Japanese, I give it to her lol).

They proceeded to introduce “Ashita no Keshiki”, a song that is not performed often, also because it’s a song that is mainly sung by Wakana. It was a beautiful performance, which was a little bit ruined by Hikaru. If you thought that she sounds strained and tired in the 9+ONE DVD version, well, imagine her like 5 concerts after that performance. Still great though, I came to love that song a lot.

“Hikaru no senritsu” was equally ok, but Hikaru again kind of screwed up her short “ashita wo kanadete” towards the end of the song. She probably just didn’t hit the note correctly, but to me it sounded as if she screwed up the timing, because I didn’t even her the first word or so.

With “Mirai”, Kalafina finally started to move around, so far they had stayed glued to their positions. They waved and interacted with the audience, cheering us on to cheer them on. I did enjoy the performance and the overall atmosphere, although “Mirai” belongs to my most disliked of all Kalafina songs.

In MC#2, they talked about “Ashita no Keshiki” a bit, together with their first album and how this is the first time performing in Kitakyushu (and not Fukuoka city). Since this is Wakana’s home prefecture, she proceeded to talk about her favorite Udon and Ramen restaurants (I think it was also about the restaurant chain West) and other specialties of Fukuoka.

The next song was “Oblivious”, also a song I was really looking forward to. As you know, this time Hikaru decided to sing her first lines in her high head voice (probably because she just can’t do it “regularly” anymore). I thought and still think it’s lovely, as it gives the song a much more mysterious opening and it’s also quite closer to the original to be honest. Wakana and the band drowned out Keiko for most of the time, with Hikaru and her high voice coming to the party later too. The acoustics were really weird that day...

“storia” was as usual, nothing special and not a song that really stands out to me anymore.

I was more looking forward to “Gogatsu no Mahou”, which is also a song I came to appreciate more over time. I adore the bridge section after the chorus, especially Wakana’s “habataku kotori no” and that one super high moment, so I really tried to focus on that particular part of the song. It was great!

With “consolation”, finally a darker and fiercer song made its debut and while I don’t really remember the performance itself anymore, I do remember the stage production. Basically, they packed out those lights and illuminations that they have been hiding so far and blasted us with them. Hikaru was pretty quiet though. Keiko on the hand appeared to have problems with her earpiece, and at some point she was frantically waving to the technicians backstage.

Wakana took it upon herself to dominate “To the beginning” as well, but we got some action on stage at least, since the girls stayed glued to their positions most of the timea again.

In MC#3, Keiko talked about how every live performance as well as their unique harmony is important to them (quite ironic after Wakana was actively trying to make Keiko NOT be heard lol). The following song was special in a sense that there would be NO harmony. Back then, when Kalafina received the song for the first time (or before recording, not sure), they even asked Kajiura Yuki whether this is correct or even intentional.

With “Haru wo matsu” we got our obligatory ballad. While I was never really fond of the song, I think it’s sweet and yes, their missing harmony gives it quite a refreshing vibe. Keiko sounded pretty much like in the 9+ONE DVD, but it was so strange to hear her cutesy voice live and so clearly... she sounded like an entirely different person XD Hikaru, for the first time actually, could finally shine, as we could HEAR her. She didn’t deliver as good as she probably could have, but still it was a very pretty performance.

Now, we were reaching the spot on their setlist that would differ at each venue. Before the concert, I checked out all setlists from the previous lives to see whether there were any patterns or which songs were most likely to be performed (again). It seemed like they took 4-5 songs and repeated them over the course of the tour, which is why I had my hopes high for “Hikaru furu” or “Kimi no gin no niwa”. But interestingly they chose a song they hadn’t performed yet (please correct if I’m wrong here), which was “Ring your bell”.

“Ring your bell” is very high on my list of all-time disliked Kalafina songs (I just can’t seem to escape that song...). But I was pleasantly surprised to hear that they started the song as an acoustic version, very much like the performance during their Arena Live. It stayed acoustic until after the first chorus, then the band joined too. I like this half-half version over the “normal” version, because it’s an amazing moment when you don’t expect the loud and cheerful opening of “Ring your bell” to suddenly fill the stage. The overall harmony of band and singers came together again and the acoustics were finally so much cleaner and nicer. The audience rose to their feet and even some dedicated dudes on my loser floor stood up to cheer them on. However, Wakana’s final high-pitched “ring your BELL” was incredibly cringy and breathy, one of the main reasons I hate the song so much.

Anyway, Kalafina got their break to change costumes and we got an AMAZING performance by the band that played some BGM of the anime “Kubikiri Cycle”. To this day, I don’t know what exact song they played and for the love of god, please SOMEONE TELL ME. I know it was fairly uptempo and rather dark... help pls XD

So far, the stage production was pretty much boring and simple. Other than some light effects, nothing really happened, we just had that huge curtain as background. Now, we finally got ACTION. Well, at least for the eye. They lifted the curtain and revealed those huge, impressing statues of Kalafina’s silhouettes, mostly made out of their past live outfits. I could have spent a long time checking out every part of this artwork, trying to recognize what dresses from which live they used and what not. Now that I watched the DVD, I know where Kalafina was standing, but at the time I didn’t see them AT ALL. The music played the overture and suddenly Keiko was on stage with the other two following her. To me it looked like they stepped THROUGH the middle silhouette, but turns out they were just standing in front of it - they were so far away, I couldn’t differ between them and the clothes behind them lol

(Photo: Hikaru’s “silhouette” with her outfits)

Well, I think I already gave you my opinion on those new dresses... At the time, both Keiko and Wakana looked kinda cool and pretty shiny, but even though I could see jack shit from so far away, I knew that Hikaru’s outfit was a disappointment. Her fucking pants and skirt or whatever that is... XD

I was incredibly looking forward to “Märchen”, as now it became one of my all-time favorite songs. But back then I was especially amazed by the song during their release event of the single in April. I wanted to hear this live again so badly and well... I did, but it wasn’t as good as the release event. Again, Hikaru sounded tired and Keiko and Wakana were fighting about who could be louder than the band. Keiko drowned out Hikaru most of the time... During the middle section we saw their Kala-dance, which I already got to witness during the release event. However, I was pleased to see that they decided to spice things up by showing background animations. It looked like they danced in sinc with themselves, it was truly impressive and such a refreshing use of video. This, as well as the later “Magia” performance made this concert/tour truly stand out and I am glad that they could take their creativity to a new level. I wish they would have continued to do so much more later on.

So, let’s talk about “Magia”. Holy shit, what a performance. The screen from the very beginning was lowered, intro was played, forest was shown, you know it guys. In sync with their live singing, they showed this fucking amazing pre-recorded bits of Kalafina and as I didn’t see this coming, it absolutely blew my mind. It was a psychedelic wtf show with cinema feeling all over the place and for once, the acoustics were actually good. Especially the instrumental part was... I don’t know what it was, but HOLY. SHIT. Truly guys, it was so cool. If there ever was an interview on that particurly performance I would love to read it to how Kalafina thought about this one and how the creation process went. When Keiko stepped in front of the screen it just added to her overall cool demeanor. When the screen was lifted again, we got a little sneak peak of the microphone stands in back.

(Photo: Keiko’s “silhouette” with her costumes)

Which were of course used for “Kyrie”. The DVD version is truly one of my favorite performances of that song and in Kitakyushu it was pretty cool too, especially with their small but effective arm movements. Keiko’s final long-ass “kyrie” was amazing and fairly unexpected from my side. Also some fat light show and big bass sounds, which I am always appreciating.

Next up was “heavenly blue” and here they tried to interact with the crowd once more. I like this song mostly for the kajiurago bridge and I always focus especially on Wakana’s super high “so na” (or whatever), while Keiko is going low at the same time. Wakana was too loud again though, but by now their overall performance and acoustics improved quite a lot.

“One Light” once again activated the crowd, especially Hikaru went crazy here. The atmosphere was amazing and you could just feel that everyone was fired up, singing along and having fun. Everyone just screamed when Hikaru sang “boku wa yukeru”, so cool.

MC#4 was about band introduction. Konno Hitoshi and Sakurada weren’t present if I remember correctly, which was a shame... but then again, I wouldn’t know the difference lol

The last song of the block was their new single at the time, “Into the world”. It was really beautiful, Hikaru finally sang more clearly. A good performance, very similar to the ones I would see from that point on.

We got a little break again, as Kalafina traditionally fake-ended the concert. While the audience was clapping, it took about 5 minutes or so for them to return. But first, the screen was lowered again, and some text, together with the intro for “Ongaku” finally told us to switch on our 9+ONE Lights. Everyone did so and boy, what a sight! Even from so far in the back, the lights in the dark hall looked so great! While of course hundreds and hundreds of people were present, you don’t really get a sense of that sheer number when you focus on the stage the entire time. I looked around and with so many lights illuminating the hall, you truly get a feeling of how many people actually are here with you.

Kalafina returned with their plain, but nevertheless cool black outfits, wearing the little lights themselves and standing on a mini-stage. The song played out as usual, but this time, as Konno Hitoshi wasn’t present and the other violin guy played his solo different than usual. Don’t ask me how it differed, I really don’t remember, but I liked that version a lot more. We got a new cool background too.

“blaze” pretty much business as usual.

(Photo: Wakana’s “silhouette” with her outfits, sorry for the bad quality)

MC#5 was about Hikaru and her beloved sales corner, where she mainly introduced the Kalafina produced goods like Keiko’s pink dumbbell and her bath salt (I think). She talked about the 9+ONE Lights and that they do not produce new lights for each concert, but re-use them every time. That was supposed to increase to sense of unity and connection between them and the fans as well as among the fans themselves, “carrying the fire of every fan and concert to the next” or something like this. As Kalafina had upcoming concerts in Taiwan and Hong Kong, Hikaru said that they would bring the lights to international fans too, so “don’t take them home!”. Well... I guess my ten years of studying Japanese at this point must have failed me in that particular instance because I truly don’t know what she said or meant. I unfortunately ended up taking the ring home. #guiltybutnotguilty #sue me

I think this is also where they talked about the big silhouettes we have seen in the earlier block and that they used dresses from previous performances to decorate them. They then turned around, facing the wall and imitated the poses of the silhouettes - it was super funny and crowd laughed and cheered. I think they lifted the screen of this stained glass pattern to show the silhouettes for direct comparison. (Correct me if I am wrong, but I think they cut out this conversation from the DVD? Not sure, too lazy to check).

We sadly arrived the final song of the setlist, which again should differ at each venue. What song would it be? I hoped for songs like “sprinter” or “Yume no daichi”, as those were among the songs they had already performed during the tour.

Well, back then, they had announced their new single “Hyakka Ryouran”, but it wasn’t released yet (I think we only knew some bits of the chorus at the time). Funnily, I talked about that with the girls I had met prior to admittance, something like “Hey, wouldn’t it be cool if Kalafina performed Hyakka Ryouran as surprise encore?”. I mean, they were no strangers to performing songs that haven’t been officially released yet, see “Into the World” during the Arena Live. But, you know... I thought that would be unlikely, because why should they?

BUT NOT THEY ACTUALLY DID IT! Keiko was like: “Ah, which song will be the final song... Well, how about our new single?”, and the crowd LOST IT. I lost it too XD Seriously, no one could handle that. Anyway, now that I know the full version by heart, it’s hard to describe how I felt back then. Listening to a song for the first time is always an experience, but it makes it hard to remember when you can’t listen to it again and again. I tried to focus on every aspect of the song, and remember it as being “dark”, due to Keiko’s deep intro, “fast” and “rock-like”, fitting into the samurai setting of the anime with its flute elements. I still couldn’t believe my luck though and afterwards, the crowd cheered and cheered.

Now the concert should have been over, but instead they entered MC#6. They talked about the first sing of the night “Samidare ga sugita koro ni”. Apparently, they pretty much have never performed this one live, except once during a fanclub-only event. For this tour they wanted to sing this song “for everyone”, as it is such a bright and warm piece.

So, for whatever reason, Kalafina decided to perform “Samidare ga sugita koro ni” AGAIN. However, this time they emphazised that bright feeling of connected hearts and unity by making us turn on our One Lights and wave along with the rhythm. Everyone loudly sang with them, especially during the “lalala” part towards the end. It was so much fun to listen to Kalafina, to the audience around me and singing along too, all while watching this amazing light show that we were creating ourselves. It was even better and much more carefree than the first performance. Still can’t believe my luck that of all venues of the 9+ONE tour, I got to attend to most unique one.

After that, the band was introduced again, they all held hands and thanked the audience for coming. But just before they wanted to bow, Wakana suddenly sobbed (so loud that I actually heard it lol), trying to wipe away tears. Being in her home prefecture, I figured she was just so overwhelmed by her emotions. Each of the three said some final words and with that the concert and the domestic 9+ONE tour ended.

I proceeded to take photos of the stage, as we were still able to see the big silhouettes. However, staff members appeared and told everyone to stop taking pictures and get the fuck out, probably to stop people from “spoiling” the concert before the DVD release or copyright or whatever. Well, thankfully I already took like 3 photos and managed to sneakily take another one, in order to have a close shot of each silhouette (which is why the third photo of Wakana’s statue is not a close-up like the other too). I left the building, returned to Fukuoka city and 2 days later back to Kanagawa.

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Despite the sound issues, it was truly a great live experience. 9+ONE would be, along with the 10th Anni, my only “real” Kalafina concert experience, as all the other concerts I attended would either be acoustic or without live band. I am so thankful that I managed to seize the opportunity and attend this live, especially in Wakana’s home. Writing this report again made me remember all those feelings I had back then, now they make me both happy and sad.

Anyway, I hoped you like my updated report!