#and it could have been so easily solved too. just make junpei the third sees li and be done with it

[akihikosanada]

i love the femc playthrough sososososo much to the point i see her route as the "real" persona 3 however i will never forgive atlus for making ken a romance option there . why did they do that

[linkspooky]

Yuji, Alone. 

I have been saying in my past few meta that Yuji has a really unhealthy way of viewing both himself, and his relationships with others. Yuji is excellent at reading the feelings of others and empathizing with them, and at the same time terrible at processing his own emotions, a trait he shares with Geto who he is once again paralleling this chapter by choosing to stew in isolation rather than reach out for support. 

Chapter 138 does an excellent job of showing how deep these issues run, which I will explain under the cut. 

1. Yuji and Geto

If I were to explain the unhealthy mindset Yuji has by simplifying it down to one sentenence, simply stated it would be “I want to help others, but I don’t want to accept help from other people.” 

Both Yuji and Geto are so motivated by empathy they feel like they are responsible for solving other people’s problems, and they often use other people rather than themselves as a reason to move. They’re actually selfless to a fault. In that, it’s a problem in their behavior. They do everything they do for other peope, so they have no idea what they themselves want. If Gojo is someone who has a strong self image, a strong set of beliefs, an idea of what he wants to do to the world, Geto and Yuji are people who try not to think about themselves at all. 

Not only does Yuji almost never critically exam his own motivations, but he also doesn’t think of his relationships with other people. 

This is something Yaga pointed out as a danger with Yuji’s way of going about things, all the way at the beginning of his arc. If you’re doing it because your grandpa told you so, then is it really something you want to do? When you die, is it going to be your grandpa’s fault too?

Yuji is someone who seems selfless on the surface, and to an extent he is, but just like Geto that’s not all there is to him. It’s something Gojo called out early on, Geto presented himself as someone selfless, motivated entirely by using his powers to protect others, but he was also doing so self righteously. 

To clarify what I mean by self righteous, Geto believed that he was doing something because it was the objective right thing to do, but actually it was just his own personal feelings. That’s why after Riko’s death forced him to critically examine himself, he realized he didn’t want to follow the rules of Jujutsu Society. 

Both Yuji and Geto pay attention to others, but also have the blinders on in regards to themselves, and that’s the parallel right there. Yuji says he is doing these things for other people, that his number one priority is to save them but that motivation is even deconstructed in the third chapter.

Yuji’s not actually doing this for purely altruistic reasons, but for selfish ones. He wanted to do something that nobody else could do. Yuji’s life was like a vaccuum before this point. He didn’t have any real friends, or anything he wanted to do. Suddenly he had a purpose basically gift wrapped and handed to him on his lap. 

Basically, Yuji and Geto both have this schewed way of seeing other people. They thing other people exist to validate their own existences. 

To put it simply. If Hidden Inventory Geto helps weak people than he’s valid. If Yuji helps people, then he’s valid. 

Not only is the way they view themselves built around how they help other people, but at the same time all of their relationships are built up on this as well. Relationships that are built upon shaky foundations will crumble apart easily when tested. 

Geto’s most important relationship was with Gojo, they had an intense chemistry and interaction with one another like they were made for each other. They were both good at naturally balancing each other out, Geto was the one who stood up to Gojo and acted like a tether, and Gojo ackonwledged Geto as his one and only. 

However, the relationship was also built on the idea that Gojo needed Geto. Geto was only able to view his relationships with other people in that way. Geto, wants to take care of people, wants to help people. However, eventually, he was left behind by Gojo who no longer needed him as a partner in combat. On top of that, Geto awoke to a higher purpose in ridding the world of cursed energy. Geto wants to be needed by somebody in the same sense that Yuji does, so for Geto at least being needed to save the whole world in his eyes, was just more important than maintaining his relationship with Gojo. 

Which is why both Geto and Yuji’s relationships fall apart. They are great at making relationshisps, but not at maintaining them. Attention is drawn to the fact that the trio has great chemistry with each other and get along well, but they’re also terrible at communicating with each other. 

"The seats... in my life... How should I put this? I don't want my heart to be affected by people who don't have a place there. Does that sound cold? Well, I guess there are also guys like you who brings their own chair and takes a seat." Translation by Miho.

Almost literally, I don’t want anyone who’s not a part of my life to try to talk to me or tell me what to do. Also the reference that Yuji is kind of different because Yuji just kind of walked into her life unannounced and invited himself there (this is how Yuji forms relationships with everyone.)

All three of them go behind each other’s backs and keep secrets from one another. All three of them avoid direct confrontation, Nobara even says she doesn’t really want anyone else even trying to tell her how to live her life. The Origin of Obedience arc shows that Nobara, Yuji and Megumi are all good at fighting together as a team, but also questioning if they have a healthy friendship outside of that?

Any relationship takes work, confrontation, arguments and even just plain old talking about things. However, someone who is primarily insecure in their relationships will not be able to do things.  Couples shouldn’t only argue, but couples who never argue is just as unhealthy. If you are so afraid that one argument is going to end a relationship, then your relationship was fragile to begin with. 

Yuji and Geto experience conditional relatinoships. In the sense that, they are only allowed to have friends, if they are helpful to those friends. They themselves are never allowed to ask for help. It’s true that Gojo was kind of blind to Geto’s faults, but also Geto would have never asked for help. Gojo could not see, and Geto deliberately hid things from them. 

Geto always makes his relationships on the condition that he is needed. When Gojo grew more independent, Geto took that as a sign that Gojo didn’t need him anymore and deliberately started to pull away.

Because, Geto isn’t ever allowed to be the one who needs someone else. 

2. Avoidant Attachment

This is just a personal theory of mine, but I think Yuji’s issues might even center around the psychological idea of attachment theory. Especially it’s since deliberately mentioned to Junpei, that Yuji never met his mother. 

Attachment theory is a complex idea, but basically it states that attachment to other people, that is the idea to form healthy relationships with family members, friends, romantic partners is learned instead of naturally present in us. It’s a skill people develop in their formative years. 

Those who show patterns of problematic attachment in childhood will continue the behavior into adulthood unless it’s corrected, because attachment is a skill that’s developed the same as anything else. Of the four categories, Yuji and Geto most resemble this one. 

Avoidant attachment: Children with an avoidant attachment tend to avoid parents or caregivers, showing no preference between a caregiver and a complete stranger. This attachment style might be a result of abusive or neglectful caregivers. Children who are punished for relying on a caregiver will learn to avoid seeking help in the future.

Which goes further to explain how they can be so empathic towards other people, and yet the same time completely unable to maintain close relationships with them. It’s because, they avoid people at the same time. They don’t seek out help when they need it, because, deep down they view themselves as unworthy of the help. 

Geto did not immediately break after the trauma of losing Riko, it was the year of isolation after that where he slowly was consumed by his regrets. Geto got worse and worse over a period of time because he couldn’t handle his trauma in any healthy way, until he just completely snapped. 

During that time he asked himself the same questions over and over again, but Geto wasn’t able to find any kind of healthy answer to his questions because, he didn’t reach out for anybody. It wasn’t just the trauma, it was the behavior after the trauma, the decision to isolate himself for over a year. No one does well in isolation. You need other people to grow or develop. If anything Geto stagnated. Geto’s central flaw was his self-righteousness. Rather than realizing he was wrong and trying to change this flaw of his, he just doubles down and becomes even more self righteous. He goes from believing he’s responsible for protecting all the weak people, to believing he’s a superior being tasked with eliminating all the weak people in the world. So, it’s not really that Geto changed, moreso that he stagnated because he cut off all his relationships with other people. 

And isn’t Yuji doing the exact same thing right now? Yaga even points out this similaritiy between Geto and Yuji, that they try to carry every regret and burden they have on their own. 

It’s not out of selflessness that they do this though, but rather insecurity. Geto didn’t come to Gojo with his problems, because he wanted to be the strongest alongside Gojo he didn’t want to be weak. He was deliberately avoiding Gojo. 

I think it’s important to establish that Yuji wasn’t abandoned by his friends this chapter. Yuji is alone, because he chose to be alone. He’s alone because he’s avoiding both of his friends, because he’s so, so afraid the friendship will end because it’s based entirely on the condition that he be a helpful, good person.

It’s true that Yuji is genuinely worried about his friends getting hurt because of him, but look at his choices. He’s not really tackling the problem in a healthy way. He’s doing everything he can to avoid the problem, isolating himself, and just trying not to think about things. He could try to talk with Megumi and find a solution, but he’s not doing that because he’s insecure in his attachment to others. 

I think his reaction to Choso pretty clearly illustrates this too. Yuji isn’t around his friends because he doesn’t want to be around them. Which is tragic, because Yuji is holding himself responsible for the mass murder which isn’t really his fault. However, Yuji saw his relationship with both Nobara and Megumi as conditional to begin with. He can only be friends with people he can help, and he can never receive help from them. It’s unhealthy to start with because relationships go both ways. Yuji is also, completely unresponsive to Choso.

Yes. Choso suddenly walking to him and delcaring them brothers is really weird.  I don’t expect Yuji to just suddenly start getting along with him right away.

At the same time, Choso explains what the unconditional love between family is between Yuji, and Yuji just doesn’t get it, because he either hasn’t experienced enough of it, or his grandpa the only person that ever unconditionally loved him is gone. Yuji can’t understand Megumi’s love for him is unconditional,. because from the beginning he sees all relationships as conditional. 

Yuji and Choso are facing opposite direcitons because they’re opposites. Choso is willing to hurt complete strangers too, but his love for his family is unconditional and he will do anything for them. Yuji will help complete strangers, but, he doesn’t really understand unconditional love, and even his love with his closest friends has a few conditions. 

Which is why someone who appears on the surface as such a friendly guy who makes friends everywhere he goes, can call himself “a loner” because in Yuji’s mind he is. He doesn’t have friends, he has people who need him. 

Which is just incredibly sad because Yuji doesn’t understand this. Yuji isolates himself thinking he’s doing it for the sake of his friends, but neither Megumi nor Nobara would want him to be alone. 

[leonleonhart]

👀

more persona! this one’s all i have of it

It was a strange choice, choosing Shibuya for the classtrip. Most would think of it as something outside of Gekkoukan’s price rangeeven with the school being more high class than most of the schools back home,but as news started focusing more and more on the happenings in the Tokyodistrict it was clear that the city was in the consciousness of the studentpopulation. The fact that the faculty even agreed hinted to some sort ofexcitement among the adults as well after the results of the student pollcame in. They barely managed to cover the cost by restricting the travelinggroup down to the third year students, with a little extra monetary paddingfrom a portion of the students unable or unwilling to travel the distance. Oneof the leaders in the student council, one Ken Amada, sighs once again astheir rather large group pads their way through the streets as they’re guidedto their hotel, exhaustion weighing on his shoulders with all the pre-planningalongside the actual journey. It went unnoticed by his classmates, but the tripwasn’t the only thing that had him on edge.

The familiar presence of Kala-Nemi had washed over him theinstant he entered the limits of the city, the persona’s supernatural presenceeasily standing out against the anxieties of every day life as it stands atattention on the edge of his awareness. The city certainly didn’t have theominous pressure as the Dark Hour, more like the cozy country town with itsnonsensical arena. He’s learned that sometimes places in the world are simplycloser to the realm of shadows, by the power of some god or simply from astrong collection of consciousness. Kala-Nemi holds onto him like a cloak, abarrier against whatever summoned it from the sea of his soul. An otherworldlysign to not get involved, not that he had any idea how to in the first place.Though with his experience he’d make a solid bet on it having something to dowith that Phantom Thief business that’s got everyone buzzing.

Ken isn’t immune to the gossip either and he’s spent hisfair amount of time talking with his school friends, even a few of his formerteammates asked for his opinion on the matter. A mysterious group popping upout of nowhere and causing change through unknown means? Standard sign ofanother set of persona users clashing with shadows. Maybe he’d give Misturu acall if she’s free or try to get in contact with the Inaba group and ask fortheir opinion now that he’s got a feel for the situation himself. There’s afamiliar sinking feeling in his stomach, he might have hit the eighteen-yearmark, but his comrades were well into their adult lives.

Shinjiro however, kept off the front lines due to his stillunstable health, made sure to drop into the dorm and serve a well needed fullmeal, the both of them ignoring the weird looks fellow dorm mates would give asthey act like a family that never separated.

Not that he thought they should get involved, and not likethey could get involved. With his ownpersona keeping him separated from whatever was happening there’s little doubtthe others would meet the same blockade, the only ones who could solve thisproblem are the chosen pawns. They’d all acted under secrecy and continue to dosuch, but with pressure from the police actively trying to capture this group meant they probably behavedas carefully as possible.

Taking in a deep breath and letting it out in a long groan Kentakes his gaze away from the shop windows they were passing by and turning hishead up to the sky watching the clouds slowly pass while they all wait to crossthe road. A few of his classmates give him an odd look, none of them reallyknew him beyond council activities or pleasantries as all of his closer friendsended up staying behind. Didn’t help that he still felt the loss afterKoromaru’s passing, the dog the only one that still helped him feel connectedto the past. Everyone thought he’d just lost a dog, but he’d lost his closestfriend.

Ken was the only one there when he died, peacefully nappingon the Shrine park bench. It wasn’t fair, but the dog had been doing hishardest to stay as long as possible.

His wandering mind is thankfully interrupted by the sound ofsomeone talking loudly over the regular crowds on the street and even louderover the touring students surrounding Ken. Ken closes his eyes with a smile,reminded of better times in the dorm, of Junpei making conversation witheveryone who took the chance to talk to him in the dorm. It was so long agonow. He opens his eyes again and throwing a curious glance towards the noise,noticing the more irritated looks the people around him were sending in thesame direction. As much as he understood the irritation that comes with silencebeing interrupted, there was no reason to throw dirty looks.

A bleach blonde head stands out in the group, the one makingso much noise amongst a small group wearing similar uniforms, belonging to alocal high school most likely. The boy seemed to be leading a majority of theconversation in their group of three. Ken can’t quite make out what they’resaying but they are approaching the crosswalk slowly that still refuses to letthe students pass much to the increasing despair of the equally exhaustedteachers. The two following along side the loudmouth seem to keep pace with thehyper boy, the blond girl next to him rolling her eyes as she responds towhatever quip he threw her way. A little behind them is a boy with fluffy blackhair, a majority of his face hidden by large glasses, but there’s a gentlesmile on his face as he keeps pace alongside them both. Ken swears he sees apair of cat ears pop up from the other side of the large shoulder bag over hisshoulder, but it’s gone before the trio stop just short of Ken’s larger group.

“I wonder what happening…” The girl wonders out loud,occasionally glancing over to all the unfamiliar students. “I don’t recognizethe uniform.”

“Class trip or somethin’?” The boy with bleached hair says,unknowingly getting the answer right. “Strange place to choose.” Ken isinclined to agree, somewhere more traditional would’ve been better for keepingcalm.

“Think they came here for the Phantom Thieves?” The girlresponds with a mischievous grin, hiding a giggle behind one of her hands.Again, hitting the nail on the head. Ken sighs, sometimes people as acollective were too easy to understand.

Ken doesn’t think about how his stare might be too intense,too relaxed against the light pole he’s stuck himself to like an old poster. Heonly becomes aware of himself when he finds his gaze returned by a pair ofpiercing grey eyes, the stare coming from behind a heavy set of glasses. Theraven haired boy who’s now half listening to his friends mumble excitedly inlower tones than before gives Ken a smile along with a curious tilt of hishead. There’s a flutter in Ken’s chest, like the wings of a butterfly. A rushof nostalgic emotions stirring causing him to speak before his thoughts catchup to speed with his mouth.

“We came from Gekkoukan High on Tatsumi Port Island,” heblinks as he realizes the words left his mouth, “I… guess we do stand out heredon’t we.” The other two accompanying the boy current keeping eye contactlocked onto Ken, his gaze holding strong and unblinking like having a staringcontest with a cat, barely seem bothered that he’s spoken up.

“Anyone would stand out grouped up like this.” The blond boymutters.

“And you wonder why we get worried when you bring too muchattention during our meetings Ryuji…” A different voice comes from somewherewithin the small group, though not from the person still eyeing Ken though thegaze has gone from curious to playful possibly testing just how long Ken wouldkeep the contest going. Ken finally tears away his gaze to see if he can spotwhoever spoke up, but the three didn’t seem bothered.

“So how long you guys staying?”

“Only a few nights,” Ken shakes his head before adding witha laugh, “anymore and the students would be paying for their own lodging.” Thecrosswalk finally lights up for the crowds to pass, and he figures that’s wherethe chance encounter would part, but the trio walk after the group of Gekkoukanstudents. As far as he can tell they’re simply heading the same direction, andhe didn’t get a bad feeling from them. They made for better company than hisclassmates giving him an, albeit starstruck, cold shoulder.

“I’m guessing you just got out of class for the day?”

“Uh, yeah.” The girl looks uneasily towards her companionsat the question. “We were just gonna meet up with another friend at a café.”She quickly covers her mouth like she’d let a grave secret slip.

“Oh,” Ken digests the strange reaction for a moment, “is thecoffee there any good? I’m going to need something to revive me tomorrow aftersuch a long trip.” He plays with his bangs a moment before brushing them to theside and rubbing under his tired eyes.