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#and it obliterates pain which is also nice. and it makes me wanna sleep rather than procrastinate it....
pizzapizzadickz · 2 years
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#diary#personal#...i think i sorta kinda burnt out again....#haahhh. i hope ill be able to recover in couple days. i have things to do.#god idk what to do when i could just sleep for a year. im so fucking tired.#i cant even talk well. i hope i can after i sleep bc i couldnt bring myself to text ppl earlier.#...i hope i remember tho lmao.#ugh i hope that i can stay in bed all day tomorrow pretty much. idk if i can handle too much more stress#ugh. i rly should figure out how to deal with this. bc everything is far too much lately and i cant do anything.#drugs tw#like. the only time i feel okay is when im high. and even then im not always.#but i think it does take away some of the problems. it takes things down from like an 8 to a 4 or 5 maybe?#and it obliterates pain which is also nice. and it makes me wanna sleep rather than procrastinate it....#haaaaahhh. im just. so fucking tired. always so fucking tired. theres so much to do. so much im not doing#and theres so many doctors and things to see. ugh. honestly if i lived alone i sometimes think id die.#suicidal ideation#like. i didnt mean suicide or anything. but ive thought about it before that if my parents do then maybe i should.#i cant function. and i dont quite know why. even things i do for fun i cant always do.#so idk. im not sure what to do anymore. i just. feel like sometimes i have months or years where i cant do anything#haah and ive tried working before and ill burn out so quickly and i know that.#....i couldnt handle working so id drink every night....#i know the same thing will happen if i have to work. but. how do i get money for the things i need or want otherwise#...im scared. really scared of working. but theres nothing i can do.#i just have to fake it till i make it. and practically run myself into the ground.#tomorrow will be better. ill be okay tomorrow. i wish someone could tell me with certainty that would be the case...#god i wish i wasnt such a fucking burden all the time. i wish i could handle shit. i wish i hadnt become like her...#fuck man. im so sick and tired of this shit. im just exhausted. hah. hopefully tomorrow will be quiet.#i can tell i wont be able to handle anything more going wrong.... fuck
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pizzapizzadickz · 2 years
Text
.
#diary#personal#...i think i sorta kinda burnt out again....#haahhh. i hope ill be able to recover in couple days. i have things to do.#god idk what to do when i could just sleep for a year. im so fucking tired.#i cant even talk well. i hope i can after i sleep bc i couldnt bring myself to text ppl earlier.#...i hope i remember tho lmao.#ugh i hope that i can stay in bed all day tomorrow pretty much. idk if i can handle too much more stress#ugh. i rly should figure out how to deal with this. bc everything is far too much lately and i cant do anything.#drugs tw#like. the only time i feel okay is when im high. and even then im not always.#but i think it does take away some of the problems. it takes things down from like an 8 to a 4 or 5 maybe?#and it obliterates pain which is also nice. and it makes me wanna sleep rather than procrastinate it....#haaaaahhh. im just. so fucking tired. always so fucking tired. theres so much to do. so much im not doing#and theres so many doctors and things to see. ugh. honestly if i lived alone i sometimes think id die.#suicidal ideation#like. i didnt mean suicide or anything. but ive thought about it before that if my parents do then maybe i should.#i cant function. and i dont quite know why. even things i do for fun i cant always do.#so idk. im not sure what to do anymore. i just. feel like sometimes i have months or years where i cant do anything#haah and ive tried working before and ill burn out so quickly and i know that.#....i couldnt handle working so id drink every night....#i know the same thing will happen if i have to work. but. how do i get money for the things i need or want otherwise#...im scared. really scared of working. but theres nothing i can do.#i just have to fake it till i make it. and practically run myself into the ground.#tomorrow will be better. ill be okay tomorrow. i wish someone could tell me with certainty that would be the case...#god i wish i wasnt such a fucking burden all the time. i wish i could handle shit. i wish i hadnt become like her...#fuck man. im so sick and tired of this shit. im just exhausted. hah. hopefully tomorrow will be quiet.#i can tell i wont be able to handle anything more going wrong.... fuck
0 notes
pizzapizzadickz · 2 years
Text
.
#diary#personal#...i think i sorta kinda burnt out again....#haahhh. i hope ill be able to recover in couple days. i have things to do.#god idk what to do when i could just sleep for a year. im so fucking tired.#i cant even talk well. i hope i can after i sleep bc i couldnt bring myself to text ppl earlier.#...i hope i remember tho lmao.#ugh i hope that i can stay in bed all day tomorrow pretty much. idk if i can handle too much more stress#ugh. i rly should figure out how to deal with this. bc everything is far too much lately and i cant do anything.#drugs tw#like. the only time i feel okay is when im high. and even then im not always.#but i think it does take away some of the problems. it takes things down from like an 8 to a 4 or 5 maybe?#and it obliterates pain which is also nice. and it makes me wanna sleep rather than procrastinate it....#haaaaahhh. im just. so fucking tired. always so fucking tired. theres so much to do. so much im not doing#and theres so many doctors and things to see. ugh. honestly if i lived alone i sometimes think id die.#suicidal ideation#like. i didnt mean suicide or anything. but ive thought about it before that if my parents do then maybe i should.#i cant function. and i dont quite know why. even things i do for fun i cant always do.#so idk. im not sure what to do anymore. i just. feel like sometimes i have months or years where i cant do anything#haah and ive tried working before and ill burn out so quickly and i know that.#....i couldnt handle working so id drink every night....#i know the same thing will happen if i have to work. but. how do i get money for the things i need or want otherwise#...im scared. really scared of working. but theres nothing i can do.#i just have to fake it till i make it. and practically run myself into the ground.#tomorrow will be better. ill be okay tomorrow. i wish someone could tell me with certainty that would be the case...#god i wish i wasnt such a fucking burden all the time. i wish i could handle shit. i wish i hadnt become like her...#fuck man. im so sick and tired of this shit. im just exhausted. hah. hopefully tomorrow will be quiet.#i can tell i wont be able to handle anything more going wrong.... fuck
0 notes