#and it sucks bc i do want to branch out and become more independent and enjoy my life while im young but... she's sick

[crypt1dcorv1dae]

people dont talk about being trans when you have a family member with memory/cognitive issues. my mom can barely differentiate between me (a grown adult) and her 4 year old granddaughter. she keeps forgetting that everyone but me has moved out. almost every night she gets worried that we have a baby here that isnt being watched properly. how the hell am i supposed to TRANSITION and go by my new name and present the way i really want to when half the time she ALREADY doesnt seem to recognize me???

im not.. trying to make it about me. trust me i spend MOST of my time worrying about her and making sure she's ok, but i cant deny that a big part of why i haven't made the move to stary medically transitioning is because i dont want to confuse or upset my mom... even at the expense of my own happiness

[souridealist]

is there anyone following me who knows more Mandarin than Literally None Whatsoever? I have a couple of upcoming fics (both in my FOSSverse canon divergence) that require me to invent some names, and would love it if someone with ANY more knowledge than me could check my work and tell me if it gives the sense I’m going for. also all of these characters are copy/pasted and for all I know I’ve ended up half in traditional and half in simplified. 

守家 -- name for Jiang Yanli’s show-canon-only sword. I was messing around with various characters and stumbled into this, which according to Pleco means both ‘to keep house’ and ‘to protect one’s legacy,’ which seems like an extremely IC thing for JYL to name her sword? 

温純術 -- Wen Chunshu. Courtesy name for a male Wen. What I think I have here is that I found  純 listed as meaning both ‘pure’ and ‘skilled,’ both of which are excellent connotations for what I want to do, and  術 I think means ‘technique’ and shows up in one of the words for surgery? Which I sought out on purpose, bc this is supposed to tie into Wen Qing’s branch of the Wens and their history as a doctor family. The ideal is that this name alludes to that medical legacy, implies ‘this guy is good at what he does,’ and also suggests that what this guy does is remove impurities / make things healthier.

Specifics under the cut, since this is a plot point many thousands of words out:

In FOSSverse, for reasons that I’m spending a great many words justifying, the Sunshot Campaign ends not with the Wen sect being destroyed as a whole, but with Wen Ruohan deposed, the Wen’s power and wealth significantly reduced, and Wen Qing assuming the title of Sect Leader. Basically the first thing she does is 1) join Lan Xichen in jumping between Meng Yao and Nie Mingjue, and 2) offer Meng Yao a place very high in the Wen in an attempt to solidify her independence. Wen Ruohan’s death plays out pretty much the same as canon, so if Meng Yao joins another clan, then that clan retroactively gets credit for her position. 

I need her to give him a courtesy name that doesn’t suck, because Wen Qing, unlike Jin Guangshan, is not a complete tit. What I’m trying to do with 温純術  / Wen Chunshu is imply “this is the guy who amputated the infected limb that Wen Ruohan had become; this is the guy who excised that rot.” She wants to acknowledge his achievement in killing Wen Ruohan, remind everyone else of said achievement, frame that as both justified and necessary, and build up an association with Wen = doctors and healers, rather than Wen = warmongering jackasses.

yeah, Portrait of the Author Out of Her Depth.