#and it’s lee sooman fault

[namjoohyuk]

some of you are stanning the actual companies like 🤮

[blessyouhawkeye]

jonghyun's song he wrote for f(x) is my kpop white whale the fact that that song will never see the light of day is a tragedy and i'll forever mourn its loss

[jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue]

Our Little Love part eight - OT7 Mafia/Yandere au

Mr Kim has a chapter all to himself of 6.8K words, please enjoy and PLEASE let me know what you think. Trigger warnings: manipulation, coercion, corruption, interrogation, mentions of murder and other crimes, swearing, jealousy, possessive yandere behaviour, fingering, orgasm denial, mirror sex, light choking. I am awful with warnings, please forgive me.

Namjoon wasn’t all that impressed with seeing the Chief of police visiting his cell, the syndicate boss was dressed too well to belong there, it was almost an eyesore. A glance to the camera, the normal red blinking light absent tells him all he needs to know. There were no eyes or ears to this conversation. 

“I thought I paid you to keep your men in line,” Namjoon says in lieu of greeting. “Was a bullet to the knee not warning enough for your dear Captain?”

“He wasn’t an issue when I spoke to him, the man was on leave!” the chief replied. “Your girl was the problem he-”

“Be very careful how you finish that sentence,” he advised with a deep angry rumble from his chest. “I am well aware who is at fault here, and regardless of what our little love does, she is never to blame.”

Chief Lee Soo-man only nods once, biting back his complaints.

“I asked you to sort out Kim Suho, I told you to keep him in check,” Namjoon growls. “Keeping your pockets full isn’t an act of charity Lee, it’s a purchase. I own you.”

“Yes sir,” he mumbles in response. “I assure you this arrest is just a formality, the case won’t stand once it’s revealed Detective L/n-”

The glare the man in the blazerless three piece suit gave him was enough to stop him in his tracks. Right, he couldn’t involve you in this, that was going to make things harder than they needed to be.

“What do you recommend then sir?” he asks when he finds his voice and wavering courage. 

Namjoon sighs harshly, and the Chief swears he can almost see smoke. 

“I want to be alone with my little love,” it’s not a request, the chief didn’t let the soft lilt of his fool him. 

“I don’t know how that would be poss-”

“I want-” Namjoon cuts in, unable to bear another second of this blithering idiot, “her to be the one to interrogate me. And I can trust you understand the rest.”

��Y-yessssir,” he stutters, not completely hearing the words between the lines, and that was clear enough on his face. 

“I want her alone, Sooman,” Namjoon repeats himself, if this were one of his men he would never have needed to. “I don’t want a single soul witness to what I’m going to do to her.”

—

Suho tugs you along by the arm, stumbling in his urgent pace, pulling you out of ear shot.

“We have a problem.”

“What problem?”

“I’m technically on health leave, brass says I can’t interrogate him,” he stares a hole into you as if his eyes were telling you the rest but you couldn’t understand.

“Okay so who’s replacing you?”

He huffs out a breath of air from his nose, knowing you weren’t going to like the command from way over his head.

Your heart beats hard in anticipation, why was he looking at you like that?

“As far as Brass are aware you were deep undercover,” Suho informs you slowly, deliberately, looking like he was about to tear your world to trash. He sighs, unable to get the words out.

“Suho what?”

“They want you to interrogate him,” he breathes, you think you’ve misheard him, but you know you haven’t.

Your world spins, you’re already shaking your head.

“I can’t,” you whisper, he knows full well that you can’t. “I resigned, I’m not a detective anymore.”

He sighs again, hesitation in his eyes. 

“I never processed it,” he confesses.

“Y-you di-”

“I couldn’t, I knew you would see reason, I knew you would come back,” he doesn’t let you process the shock, explaining himself quickly. 

“Suho I can’t I can’t,” you beg, the conviction you had to punish them now suddenly taking a back seat as fear overtakes you, “right now they believe I was deep undercover but he’s not going to let that-“

“Listen to me,” he interrupts you before you can fully submerge into a panic attack, taking your hand in his. “I’m going to be in the next room, as soon as he says anything that compromises you, I’ll turn off the cameras, okay?”

“But-“

You’re interrupted again when the door opens, both of you whipping your heads to see him being transferred by four officers to the interrogation room. His eyes find you, staring stoic holes into you before his gaze finds Suho’s hands comforting yours. The snarl of displeasure is brief but you definitely see it, and you can’t breathe.

Suho draws your attention back to him, tugging your hand softly.

“Do you trust me Y/n?” he implores you, eyes searching yours in a way that made Namjoon want to strangle him with the chains on his handcuffs. You look up at your Captain with such light in your eyes, a way you should never look at another man, and then you have the audacity to nod. 

—

You’ve done this a hundred times, if not more. So why were you hesitating at the door? Your hand on the handle, all you had to do was turn it and face the music but you couldn’t even manage finding your breath. 

Interrogation was a science, it was like riding a bike, you knew what you had to do, you had to command the room. It almost sounded like a joke, the worst one you’d ever heard. Command a room when Kim Namjoon was in it? 

The thought makes you hyperventilate. No, it wasn’t going to be easy but you could control what you could. You borrowed clothes from an old colleague, a skirt and blouse, simple but professional. Suho’s old blazer too, as if layers would protect you. You had splashed water on your face in the bathroom, using makeup from evidence to make yourself look presentable, composed. Your impromptu freshening up had meant you left the syndicate leader waiting for a long time, and it absolutely 100% was not because you were trying to kill time, it was to make him stew in the room, a technique you had used multiple times prev- who were you trying to convince? 

You needed to get this over with. 

Your face is impassive when you finally open the door, his gaze is on you immediately and you can feel a certain type of guilt and shame try to seep its way into you, but you push it down far enough that you can pretend it’s not there.

“Mr Kim Namjoon,” you greet him stoically.

“Detective L/n,” he returns, playing along with a small smile, as if seeing an old acquaintance after a long time. The way he addressed you shouldn’t cut you, logically it made no sense not when you’re the one that got him in the box, but it did. 

You approach the table he’s chained to, looking at the wood instead of his eyes as if he didn’t matter, or at least that’s how you wanted it perceived. Avoiding eye contact with the most dangerous man the whole country had ever come to know, meant you missed the way his stare moved to your clothes, particularly your blazer, recognising it was a man’s, and he could confidently guess exactly who it belonged to. Any friendliness on his face disappeared, he wanted to play games and now he just wanted to torture you a little, punish you for you actions. Patience, he tells himself, that would come later.

The file in your hands slaps the table as you throw it down, taking a seat opposite your boyfriend, a man you now convinced yourself you wanted behind bars. 

What do they say about a woman scorned? Namjoon thinks to himself, admiring the fire he could see burning underneath your skin, and though he knew he would feel the burn, he would welcome it. It was no secret that he had a fantasy about you interrogating him, he introduced the role play to the bedroom soon after your return to them but it lacked the flames of heat he could feel today. 

“Allow me to formally introduce myself,” you reply. “My name is detective Y/n L/n, I’ve been undercover at your… establishment for the past year and a half.”

“Is that right?” he barely suppressed his amusement but it didn’t phase you. Your professional head was on, this was just another criminal you had to put away, that was it. 

You open the file, sliding out photos of him that you had sent in as intel in your early days undercover as well as surveillance photos that Suho had taken since you were MIA. 

“Do you know who this man is Mr Kim,” you say, sliding the first of the photos to him.

“Can’t say I do detective,” he shrugs nonchalantly, not even glancing away from you. 

“Do you want to try looking at his face first before you answer,” you insisted unimpressed. 

He smiles, still staring at you. 

“I don’t recognise him,” he repeats himself slowly. 

“So this isn’t you in the photo?” You ask.

“I don’t know,” his grin only grows.

“This man, Jackson Wang, is dead, and the last person who saw him alive seems to have been you Mr Kim, at least based on the time stamp on this photo and the time of death from the post mortem.”

“Is that right,” he says again, sounding like a broken record. His eyes swim with admiration for you, you can see it though you can’t understand it at all with the current scene. Why wasn’t he fuming, why wasn’t he demanding an answer or explanation?

“Okay let's cut the crap since I know you’re far too clever for that Mr Kim,” you scoff with a roll of your eyes. “I have gathered evidence of your crimes from the last 18 months, and I will stand in court as a witness against you.”

“Are you allowed to do that little love?” he asks, the name has a pang of panic hit you, but you tell yourself you can explain it away to brass.

“The charges you're facing so far are murder, battery, and grand larceny to name a few,” you state ignoring him, flicking through the photos, throwing each one in front of him. “There are many more to follow.”

“I didn’t know partners could testify against each other,” he mused, smirk still strong on his face.

“I’m not your partner,” you object. “I was undercover.”

“No,” he contends, shaking his head like this was just a game to him. “You can’t fake a love like ours, heaven.”

You almost snort as if his point was ridiculous.

“I don’t think I could ever love someone like you Mr Kim,” your stare was ice cold, that finally wipes the smile off his face. 

“You’re angry,” he states as if it was new information for you. “I get that little love, but this is a bit too much, don’t you think?”

“I think justice needs to be served, don't you?” you sneered. “People got hurt, some people died, someone needs to pay.”

“You and I both know they deserved it,” he declares as if there wasn’t a camera recording his confession. “You’re just angry because I stepped on a bug.”

Utter rage brewed like a storm in your chest, and you wanted the downpour to drown him. 

“You sound like you’re ready to sign the confession Mr Kim,” you don’t break your stare. “That’s great, saves us a lot of time, thank you.”

You close the file, pushing the chair back to stand. 

“I’m not done with you,” he growled.

“But I’m done with you.” 

“Y/n sit,” he commands calmly, composing himself. “Throwing a fit isn’t going to fix things.”

“Throwing a fit?” The audacity of this man, you stand there in shock. 

“Let’s talk it through,” he says to you as if you were being hysterical. 

“Fuck you,” you spit. 

“Talk to me Y/n,” he scolded you like you were a child. “Without this bullshit.”

“Fine! You wanna talk about it Namjoon,” you snapped, taking the seat again, throwing the file haphazardly on the desk. “Let’s talk about it.”

The glare you present him with doesn’t make him flinch, it doesn’t phase him. You hope Suho had enough sense to turn the cameras off by now, this would go nowhere. 

“You manipulated me, you lied to me, you made me play the fool.”

He didn’t react, not a single muscle on his face moved and it fanned whatever flame explode inside of you like a bomb. This was his true colours underneath the mask of love and adoration he created for you.

“You don’t have to pretend anymore Namjoon I can see right through you,” you state. “And you are never touching me again.”

That made him look at you, really look at you, something shifted in his gaze, a slight smirk as if he was mocking you.

You could cry kick and scream about the injustice he put you through in the name of this fucked up love and he wouldn’t flinch. He would sit there and watch and then the fucker would have the audacity to laugh afterwards. He must’ve laughed at how stupid you were in trusting him when he lied.

“At least if you go to prison, I’ll finally be free,” you whisper like it’s a life line.

He’s still unmoved, sitting there as if you were invisible and it irked the fuck out of you. He was the one who wanted to talk, why the fuck was he silent now? 

You wanted him to hurt you wanted him to feel an ounce of what you did in the light of his betrayal. He tore your heart out and you weren’t going to forgive him.

“I must’ve looked so pathetic,” you say in a self deprecating tone, looking at the ceiling as if someone could answer you. “Suho was right.”

That comment makes his blood boil hard enough to show on his face. There it was, the reaction you were waiting for and you took the bait without thinking about what you were trying to catch or what you were trapped with.

“I should’ve trusted him, he’s always had my back and my best interest at heart.”

His jaw clenches, a fist squeezing nothing but air although he probably wished it was the captain's neck.

“Kai and Suho are all I have left,” you goad him, unsure of what exactly it was that you wanted to prove. “And finally I’m back where I belong.”

“If you don’t want a bullet in each of their heads, you need to stop talking love,” he grunts through gritted teeth.

Something inside of you felt vindicated and you realise then what you wanted from him, proof he fucking cared, that you weren’t some pawn or prize in this game of crime. You wanted him to soothe the very cuts he caused, or rip your heart out hard enough that you could bleed him out of your system forever.

“Oh please Namjoon, just admit why you kept me around for so long,” you scoff. “I can only imagine how it felt to have the lead detective on your case in the palm of your hands, like a trophy, a big fuck you to the justice system.”

You laugh sounding a little maniacal.

“You had me, and I fell for all of it.”

“You’re forgetting I didn’t know your true origins at first little love,” his low voice is a warning, he looks at you like he needed to remind you who you belonged to.

“And you’re forgetting I know you,” you bite back. “Any hint of betrayal and you pull the trigger first and ask questions later.”

He stares at you, grimacing.

“And yet here I am, alive.”

“Because I love you,” he says it so casually it throws you off, like it was a fundamental part of his being, like breathing.

“Because you saw an opportunity,” you rationalise.

“Because I could never lose you,” he confesses. “You could rip out my heart, little love and I would still want you, why else would I be here?”

You frown, what did he mean? He was here because you paid an eye for an eye, you betrayed him.

“What’s done is done,” you say as if you were unconcerned. “I will testify against you.”

He leans closer across the table, words for your ears only.

“Do you think you’ll be able to handle seeing Jungkook in prison, love?” Namjoon whispers. “Knowing you put him there? It would kill you.”

The pain his words brought forth only proved them to be true. You did have a soft spot for the youngest, always had. You break eye contact first, looking down at the file and turning back and forth a page as if in contemplation but really to cool your nerves.

Were you really doing this? Sending Yoongi, Jin, Hoseok, Jimin, Tae and Kookie to jail because of an angry outburst? Now your emotions had time to settle after the bomb that exploded when you saw Suho; you weren’t so sure.

“I never thought you could betray us like this,” he says solemnly, continuing to manipulate your guilt, but he forgot about your fire. He could almost see the coals ignite in your eyes, a misstep on his part, one he realised when a snarl forms on your lips.

“You. Lied.” You state ferociously. “I asked you if you hurt him and you lied to me.”

“So you decided to have us all arrested,” he continues, “for a man you stated you didn’t care about like that.”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” you seethe, unable to sit with him any longer, pacing the room before you raised a finger to his face. “You played me like a fool Namjoon, and I refuse to play the part anymore.”

“I wanted him dead, little love,” he states in a low voice through gritted teeth. “Do you understand what a mercy-”

“I asked you not to hurt him!”

“Then you underestimated our wrath!” he retorted. “I couldn’t let him go in one piece, and you didn’t need to know.”

“No. You underestimated MY wrath Kim Namjoon!” You burst, slamming the desk with your hand, the sting burning, your face heating more and more with rage as it concealed your heartache. “I am not some docile doll for you to play with, and manipulate and LIE TO! You took my love for granted when it was a damn fucking privilege.”

Your chest heaves with each breath, he stayed composed while you looked like a wild animal finally let out of her cage.

“You think this obsession is love,” your voice broke at the last word, the floods of heartbreak dampening the fires. “And I did too, but it’s fucked up everything.”

His silence was eating you alive, his face giving nothing of his heart away while yours laid bare out between you.

“You know what I’m done,” you breathe, “have fun rotting in jail Namjoon.”

Tears drop out of the corner of your eyes as you walk away, his piercing gaze doing nothing to deter you. He might’ve had power over you once but that was before he betrayed you. You reach for the door handle, tugging, ready to leave him behind until his trial, but the door doesn’t budge. You still, mind blank for a second before panic overwhelms you. You try again with all your might, pulling as hard as you can over and over before releasing your grip with a harsh breath. You take a gulp, calming yourself, he planned this.

You’re not surprised when you hear the sound of the handcuffs undo or the chains hit the floor. Fucking bastard. An alarm started blaring in the building, loud and overwhelming, but it came too late. Red lights flash, the room glowing as if warning you about the oncoming danger.

“Are we done with your outburst little love,” he says coldly, like your grievances were nothing more than a tantrum.

You turn to face him slowly, more tears dropping without a sound, shaking your head at the way his words cut you down to nothing.

When he stands from the seat your heart gallops with fear and panic. Although it’s helpless you turn back to the door, trying with all your might to open it and escape him. The fire alarm blaring does nothing to ease you, you hang onto the door as you feel him approach, tears falling out of your eyes without control.

Fuck, you were stuck here with the man you sent to jail, you were left to his mercy. His presence looms over you, you can feel him a hair's width behind you, not touching you, not really, but he’s so close it’s overwhelming.

It’s when you feel his breath you freeze, your body shutting down with dread. He presses his cheek to your hair, inhaling you softly. The action makes you jolt away, turning to the side but he grabs your wrist tightly. You don’t look at him, you stare into the two way mirror, your cheeks pathetically wet. You were supposed to hold the power in this room, but you could feel it dwindle away to nothing but smoke.

You’re slammed against the door hard, a whimper escaping your lips as your eyes scrunched in pain. You miss the flash of guilt in his eyes, realising he pushed you too hard. An apology on his lips but the glare when your eyes open stops him. He’s seen anger in your eyes before, hate even, for he knew love didn’t come without it. But fear? Never of him, not even in the days when you were undercover and your life was one unveiled secret away from ending. 

“Get away from me,” you seethe, meaning every word, even when you saw the hurt in his eyes. 

Regret, Kim Namjoon never knew the feeling before, but he knew he never wanted you to look at him the way you were. He needed to keep his calm, one wrong push and you would tear him out of your own heart.

Your eyes fly all over the room, trying to piece together a way to gain some distance. Suho… maybe he was still behind the glass. You tug your wrist as hard as you can, taking steps away from him but his hold is relentless. The blare of the alarm stops ringing but the flashing red lights remain, staining the walls like blood pumping.

“Little lo-“ he starts to say with a sigh, he was being patient but there was only so much time left.

“Suho?” You call desperately trying to look through the glass. You know you’ve made a mistake before you even said his name but fear drives people to do stupid things without thinking.

The most notorious criminal in all of Seoul pulls you back against his chest hard. An arm wraps around your waist, the unforgiving grip on your wrist turning lethal. He rests his chin on your shoulder, staring at you through the mirror. The hairs on your skin stood on end at the frightening change in his eyes, danger rolled off of him and you had no choice but to take every wave.

“Do you think he’s there, love?” The corner of his lip lifts in a smirk that makes you think of a snake, the saccharine tone of his voice hypnotising. “Do you think he’s watching us?”

The palm on your hip moves down to your thigh, he squeezes the flesh. You could feel your heart jumping in your throat.

“Should we give him something to watch?” He murmurs seductively, turning his head to bring his lips so close to your neck. The bruising clutch on your wrist is gone only to find its way to your hair, yanking it back to give himself better access.

Your eyes in the mirror are begging but the inner turmoil from his touch is making you question what exactly you’re asking for. Reason tells you it’s for Suho to save you, to grant you escape, but the way you feel a familiar heat swim to your core has you doubting yourself.

“If he was in there,” he whispers, his lips now on your ear, “don’t you think he’d come in here and try to take you from me, love?”

He chuckles to himself, a joke only he can understand.

“Fuck I’d love to see him try.”

His groan has you aching, your body relapsing to what it knows, anticipating the pleasure and pain only they could provide. 

​​“I’m not mad at you for having us arrested, heaven,” he whispers in your ear, gaze softening for a second in the mirror lulling you into a sense of security you couldn’t tell if it was a trap. “In fact I’m a little in awe, a little proud.”

The smirk he gives you seems genuine.

“We deserved it I know,” reassurance fills his voice, he wants you to hear his sincerity. “What I’m mad about, little love…”

The softness is gone, eyes turn piercing, the proverbial snake about to strike.

“Is the fact you let another man touch what’s mine.”

The guttural rumble of his possessive claim sent waves of need down to your cunt, you could feel it pulsing. 

“I’m mine,” you return meekly, trying to find your resolve, but it sounded like a whine.

“Make no mistake Y/n, you’re always going to be mine.”

You didn’t have it in you to argue, not when he sent your eyes rolling back and a shiver down your spine. Fuck he hadn’t even touched you yet, maybe it was true, maybe a part of you would always belong to them, but that didn’t mean all if you did.

“Look at me,” he commands, his breath hitting your neck.

Your blown out eyes meet him in the mirror, that predatory but protective gaze piercing through you. He hums in approval the deep vibration fucking with your senses, making you hazy. 

You both hold eye contact even when you can see the fingers on your thigh stroke soothing circles up your skin. Your lips part with a harsh breath when they rub your mound through the fabric of your panties, the touch light and testing and not nearly enough. 

“You’re fucking soaking wet baby,” he calls you out with a grin.

You grab his wrist when his fingers cup your heat, his thumb soothing circles on your clit. You press against him, the warmth of his chest enveloping your back. You both fit so well together, you were forgetting why exactly you were so angry at him, but simmers of it still remained even through his touch. 

“You know,” he says, opening your leg with his knee to give him more access, “a lot of couples fuck through their problems, should we try?”

He hides his grin, burying his head in you but you can feel it against your skin, the arrogant asshole. 

“You can go and fuck yourself,” you sassed back, lying to yourself that you could be fine if he stopped now, that it wouldn’t leave you a needy mess. 

“But I’d rather fuck you,” he chuckles, breathing you in, savouring the moment while his fingers slide the fabric aside. 

You choke back a moan at the contact of his skin right where you wanted him, the way he spread your wetness until every inch of you was covered in it. 

“You can pretend to regret our relationship all you want, but this,” he emphasises his point by slapping your cunt hard, making you gasp, “still wants me.”

“It wants to get fucked,” you spitefully remark through gritted teeth, “doesn’t have to be you.”

That makes him pause, and you have to bite back the words of displeasure. 

“You’ll pay for that next time love,” he murmurs dangerously. 

“There won’t be a next time,” you try to ridicule him through a laugh but his fingers circle your entrance. 

“You’re lying,” he hums, “next time, I think we should tie you down, make you watch other women touch us in ways only you’re allowed to.”

You bury the fury that ruptures at the image, clenching your jaw to keep from swearing at him and proving the point he was trying to make.

“Maybe then you’d have a semblance of understanding of what you did- the torture you put us through.”

“I wouldn’t care,” you breathe, squirming against his fingers, he needed to shut up and move.

“Liar,” he chuckles knowingly, seeing right through you. Before you, there were many females in his organisation, until his little love demanded he get rid of them all. The memory stretches his grin wider. 

“Why the fuck was it me?” You whisper, your eyes starting to water at the vulnerability of your tone, remembering the same moment he was. “When I went undercover there were so many beautiful women-“

“They’re not you, little love, don’t for a second compare yourself to them,” he kisses your temple softly in reassurance. His face is in your hair, his hand on your throat as you preen to his touch. “You were sweet and addicting with a fire you were trying so desperately to contain.”

He thrusts two fingers in gently, watching your face contort in want in the mirror, smiling at the way your eyes rolled back. You whimper when he squeezes his grip on your neck.

“To think that passion we saw in your eyes was hatred at first,” he smiles as if amused, watching every little reaction you gave him, every proof of love.

“I did,” you confess, pressing your ass against his hard length and making him groan, “I hated you.”

“You were sent to destroy us, love, but instead you reached into our souls and thought there was something worth saving,” he chuckled, nuzzling into you softly as if he wasn’t knuckle deep inside of you, feeling every part he knew so well. “And save us you did, it was so dark before you our little light, how could we ever let you leave?”

“You’re fucking with my head,” you whimper, head falling back to his chest, it rumbles when he laughs.

“Hmmm? I’m definitely fucking your brains out today Y/n,” he promises with a chuckle, kissing your temple again, but emphasising his point when he scissors his fingers reading you for his cock. “If that’s what you mean.”

This was your fault, you knew what you were getting into when you fell for them. You especially knew Namjoon was the worst of them all. You let his soft side brush away his true nature, and while you never forgot his ruthless persona, you put it to the back of your mind. You foolishly thought you had tamed his cunning cold cruel- 

“Oh fuck,” whatever train of thought you had died, the palm of his hand rubbing your clit, stimulating your already aching cunt to the edge. Your parted lips open wider to release a silent scream, his fingers stroking so deep.

You were so close, you could taste it, unable to control the delirious sounds escaping you. So when he stops and slips his fingers away from you, you have to stop yourself screaming in protest. 

“Up against the mirror Y/n,” he commands gruffly, but you don’t move, you were so fucking close. Fuck him, fucking asshole, you were so fucking close. 

He picks you up with ease, pushing you against the wall so your breath fogs the surface. You hear the zip pull down, your forehead falls forward, your core pulsing in anticipation. He grabs your leg, opening you for him, the head of his cock sliding across your folds until you're whining.

“Stop squirming love,” he warns, but you don’t listen, of course you don’t, so he makes you listen. 

The sound you release when he slaps your clit with his hard dick over and over has him questioning his restraint, fuck he wants to just pound into you but you needed to be taught a fucking lesson. 

“Joonie sensitive,” you whine, but he’s relentless, making you cry out over and over. Fuck you could actually maybe cum like this. 

His self control wavers, his jaw clenched with such a force he thinks it’ll shatter. He couldn’t take it anymore, the swell of his head finds your entrance. Inch by inch, he relishes the feeling of your walls hugging him so fucking tight, the pulse of them pulling him in. He leans over you, trying to regain composure but you feel so good he doesn’t want to move, he wants to stay like this forever, inside of you where he belongs. 

You try to push back into him, but he grabs your waist with one hand to keep you still, grinding his hips against you and he knows it’s not enough. 

“Look at you arching your back little love,” he smirks, “Your body knows where you belong, it’s a shame you tried to take it away from me.”

Your hands ball into fists on the mirror, you can’t even look at yourself right now, you can’t stop writhing on the surface, trying so hard to get him to move. You squeeze him hard, making his head fall against you with a grunt. 

“Behave little love,” he warns, “or I’ll show your colleagues just how well you can take me.”

“Make me,” you dare him even though it comes out as a mumble. 

You were dizzy and disorientated and all you wanted was for him to fucking move. He pushes you against the wall hard, every inch of him covering you so you couldn’t budge. You whine, the cold of the hard surface making you seek his warm body, you slot against him like a damn puzzle piece. He was hell bent on torturing you today, as if you hadn’t suffered enough. 

“Joonie move,” you almost sound like a brat, trying to order him around. 

“I’ll move when I’m ready,” he growls animalistically, barely holding himself back, but he needed to savour this.

You do everything you can to break his control, writhing against him like a bitch in heat. He swallows hard when you clench again. He spanks your ass hard in return, the air gets thicker, you find it harder to breathe. You keep still, the sting of your ass satisfying your craving for a moment, but not for long. 

He picks up your skirt, watching himself inside you, watching the beautiful mess you were making. So wet, so perfect, how did you ever think for a second he would ever let this go? The sight is too much, he releases a restrained groan, done with holding himself back. 

His hand grips your cheeks, turning your mouth to his, forcing his tongue down your throat as he finally pulls out only to push back in impossibly deeper. You took every punishing thrust, his presence surrounding you everywhere, even in front of you where his reflection painted the surface. He smothered you with his existence, the heat of him scolding, but you liked it, you craved it. 

“Do you think your ‘friend’ understands who you fucking belong to now detective L/n?” He chuckles deeply watching your fucked out face in the mirror.

He uses his grip under your knee to turn you towards the camera in the corner of the room.

“Think they can all see little love?” He pants. “How well you fucking take it? How good you are for me?”

You shake your head in protest but it feels too good. Your head falls back on him without the mirror to lean against. His fingers find your clit, his sole purpose to make you lose yourself to him. 

“Fuck look at you shaking baby,” he groans, feeling you pulse around him, drawing closer to the edge. “Your poor pussy just needs to come huh?”

You can hear the smirk in his tone, fucking self satisfied prick. 

“Not as badly as you need it,” you taunt back, feeling your defiance flare despite how your body was begging you to behave.. 

“Fuck you might be right,” he groans, going harder, faster. “I’m always going to need it.”

His confession takes you over, the words pushing you so hard you come apart violently, thrashing against him as you unravel, but he holds you tight. He doesn’t let you fall. You couldn’t breathe, you couldn’t think, all you could feel was him and the burst of pleasure that carried on wave after wave, and you never wanted it to stop.

“This is mine,” he grunts as he comes undone inside of you, fucking his cum deeper until it got through to your soul. 

He was a part of you, and you could try to deny it now with his mistakes on the table, but he was so embedded in the fabric of you he couldn’t see where he began and where you ended. His entire existence was for you, it was only fair your cunt, body and soul belonged to him. Maybe the others too, as an afterthought, but you were his first.

He feels the mess slide out of you as he leaves your warmth, turning you softly so you could lean against him as you catch your breath. He holds you tight, arn arm around your middle like the steel of a bar. He has every intention of letting you recover but the way you look up at him with those glossy eyes confirms the fact he will never be satiated, he will always want more of you even if there was nothing left to give. 

“Our little love,” he breathes in your face, stealing a hard kiss, “our little downfall.”

His mouth held you prisoner again and again, humming pleasantly as you let him devour you in so many ways. His kiss was bruising, hungry, overindulging.

Your eyes search his as he parts reluctantly, your mind still hazy, the bliss of sex still circulating your body.

“Why did you lie to me?” You whisper breathlessly against his lips as you come down, and he can hear the vulnerability in your tone, it makes a guilt spread across his chest that feels almost alien. The way you could make him ache like no one else, he should cast you aside for introducing a weakness in him but he wouldn’t even dream of it.

“I didn’t want to lose you,” he confesses sincerely. “I didn’t want you to hate me.”

“I asked you not to hurt him,” your eyes tear up again, and he curses himself and the existence of Kim Suho.

“I know.”

“But you did it anyway,” you continue, “and then you had the gall to lie to my face.”

You wipe away the tears that fall harshly, your mind clearing. You push him away and fix yourself up, knowing from the glances in the mirror you were a mess.

“You always own up to your actions, right or wrong, you never hide them,” you laugh and you think you must sound psychotic. “The Kim Namjoon… I remember the days you would drop dead bodies in front of me without remorse, without ever feeling the need to explain yourself.”

“I was testing you then,” he grunts, remembering those days well. “I needed to know you had the stomach to be with us.”

“I hated you so much,” you confess, swallowing down a sob. “And for the first time since I fell in love with you Joonie, I can feel that hate grow again.”

His jaw clenches, his fist too. He could feel a threat on the tip of his lips, one where the Captain's head would end up on a plate in front of you for dinner but he holds himself back.

“You don’t mean that,” he says between gritted teeth.

“I had you fucking arrested Namjoon,” you argue back fiercely. “Don't tell me what I mean or don’t mean.”

“You also fucked me after the fact,” he states and the harsh words slap you hard. You did. You let him defile you here only moments ago.

“Old habits die hard.”

“Not with me love,” he dismisses the thought. “Not as long as I’m alive.”

“We’ll see,” you challenge, feeling that earlier conviction rise. 

“Understand something Y/n,” he says seriously, his face solemn and hard in a way you had witnessed rarely. This was Kim Namjoon with something to lose. “You can run, you can fight, you can hate me if you need to, but there isn’t a life worth living for us without you in it.”

He takes his seat back in the interrogation chair, putting his handcuffs back on with ease, all while keeping his eye contact with you. 

“You want me here, you want to punish me,” he continues, “fine, this where I’ll stay until you’re appeased, until you forgive me.”

“I won’t,” you deny, shaking your head. 

“You will.”

[notyuta]

everything in the world is lee sooman's merit and fault. especially fault. except for the things that aren't. but everything else yeah

[yourkimjaejin]

Bad Day at Practice

Legend - 2023

The members of AG and Dream were loitering around the girls apartment when Juno walked in. She looked beat. For the past four months, Juno has been in practice after practice with her new NCT unit. Every day, it seemed the Houston native was growing more and more dejected. 

Today, Juno dragged her feet through the limbs of her members all the way to her room. Her eyes never left the floor inky black hair covered her face. She ignored the greetings from several people and they listened until her door closed. Everybody shrugged it off going back to what they were doing but the actions of their member continued to bother one of them until they couldn’t ignore it anymore. 

Juno was lying prone on her bed with a pillow covering her face when Aurora walked in. She took a seat on the side of the bed and waited for Juno to talk first.

“I’m okay Rora. Just frustrated.” Juno’s voice muffled from the pillow. 

“Rough practice?” 

Juno sighed, taking the pillow off her face so she could sit up, “Lets just say Shotaro has been taking lessons on how to run his dance practices from Taeyong but he hasn’t mastered it quite yet. And I fear the day he does.” Juno went silent for a moment before speaking again, “I don’t know if I can do this. For a long time, I envied you all for being in other units. But now I see how tough this is. I don’t know how you do this all the time……For the past month the only thing that's been running through my head is why was I chosen for this. I shouldn’t be here.” Juno voice cracked with emotion but she held back the tears. She was supposed to be the strong one. The unphased one. 

Aurora grabbed her hand, “That’s dumb. Juno, remember all those years ago? During the practices for Welcome To The Jungle. You were struggling and what happened? You practiced your butt off until you could do the dance in your sleep. Lee Sooman, for all his faults, saw something in you. You’re our Houston hottie and you’re a badass.” Juno couldn’t help but laugh. Being the youngest member of NCT, Aurora usually gets away with a bit of a loose lip. And it always makes her giggle.

“Adjusting to a boy group is a process we all went through. It changes for everyone. I had to let the dreamies in. Moxy and the oppas had to learn to trust each other. Out of all of us, Hannah had it the easiest. You guys will get there. I know you will. Cause your boys have one of the most tenacious people I have the pleasure of calling my sister.”

“Do the boys know you're this cheesy?” 

Aurora pushed Juno, “No and they never will because our heart to heart will never leave this room.” Aurora stood up and dragged Juno with her, groaning the whole time.. 

“I think I need a movie night.” Juno walked over to her closet, grabbing the fluffiest pair of pj’s she owned. 

Aurora smirked, “Now that I can take care of.” The younger opened the door and shouted, “CODE EMINEM!!” Immediately sounds of furniture being shuffled around and doors opening filled the apartment.

Minutes later, Juno was buried under the limbs of various members. The boys and girls were stuffing themselves full of popcorn and candy until their older members arrived with food. With the lights of the tv and the promise of pepperoni pizza, Juno felt her fear retreat to the back of her brain to be confronted later. 

With the support of her members, Juno could do anything.

Taglist: @alixnsuperstxr

Thought of this after the last post, hope you all enjoyed! Have a great day!! ~ Author Izzy

[sweetmastermind]

Finally Aespa can sing in live now during korea awards.

Lee Sooman was the problem i guess

I have to search to see it, some clips are really difficult to hear because the backup is louder but in other parts you can hear them sing, IS A MIRACLE

And i don't think sooman is completely at fault about aespa lipsync, Cris lee was the one that have the final word. I think this is the result to tame the fans a little with the recent scandal

[theficblog]

LIL SIS!!!!!! I'M ALWAYS AMAZED WITH HOW MULTIS ARE ABLE TO KEEP UP WITH THE GROUPS, ALSO YOU GUYS HAVE SO MUCH LOVE TO GIVE ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

awww forever 1 🥺🥺 i heard this on the radio today and thought of hyo crying during their performance at smtown ㅠㅠㅠㅠ it really is the most suitable title track for their long-awaited cb ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ♡

AHHHHH DOYOUNG SJSKSKSJDHH I HAD A DOYOUNG PHASE IN 2019 TOO SJSJJS (WHEN I STILL COULDN'T DECIDE WHO MY BIAS IS IN NCT 🙈🙈🙈🙈) HE RADIATES SUCH HUGE BF ENERGY, DOESN'T HE? ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

hahaahah!!! chameleon!!!!! im also such a playgirl for nct 😭😭😭😭 i kept crushing on one after another every other season 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 THIS IS ALL LEE SOOMANS FAULT 😭😭😭😭 (BUT I LOVE TO SUFFER LIKE THIS 😍😍❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Multis are confused all the time like they can spend so much time on one group that the forget about the other lol AND OML ONE OF MY FRIENDS SAID THE EXACT SAME THING AS YOU DID

Totally, forever 1 is such a sweet and vibey song! It plays in my head all the time these days and ngl I don't even stan SNSD but the crying thing is real.

Oh no, Doyoung. He is so bf material like nooooo. I am obsessed. Kim Dongyoung don't do that to my heart!

SAME! My bias changed every week when I got into NCT too! Yes, yes, we love suffering :)

[28091999]

Everyone gets new music and what do i have to do? I have to sit and listen to their 26 songs and edit the royal twitter's tweets to amuse myself. This is all YOUR fault lee sooman i will see u in hell

[ktrash-kate]

Girls don't want a boyfriend, they want WayV's songs added to Superstar SMtown.

[blu-joons]

When You’re Signed With SM Entertainment ~ BTS Reaction

Jin:

You weakly smiled across at Jin as he showed you the chart for the end of the week, noticing that NCT had overtaken BTS for the number one spot. “You can smile,” Jin laughed, spotting you trying to hide it.

“But how?” You questioned, “your number two now because of that.”

“But the people that you work with are number one,” Jin reasoned, “you can’t ignore that, even for all of us.”

“It still feels wrong,” you chuckled, handing his phone back across to him, “it’s like a lose and lose situation really for me, one of you has to miss out.”

Jin wrapped his arm around your waist, “look at it this way instead, be happy that two of your favourite groups have filled the top two spots rather than number one.”

“I guess that does give a bit of a happier outlook,” you chuckled, “it’s nice to see friends do well, but it’s even sweeter to see you doing well too.”

Jin’s head nodded as he pulled you in tight to him, “we’ve had plenty of times at number one, I’m sure we can let it go for once, especially to an SM artist.”

“You’re only saying that because I’m there,” you joked, “if I wasn’t, you’d definitely be bitter that SM had knocked you off of the top stop.”

“Maybe, but thanks to you, I don’t have to be.”

Yoongi:

Your head shook as soon as Yoongi invited you over to visit him at work, leaving him stunned as you looked away from your video call. “I don’t think I should be showing my face at a different company, it’s not a good look.”

“You’re visiting your boyfriend,” he frowned, “not committing a crime.”

“I know,” you stressed, staring back to the camera, “but you’ve seen the looks that people give me there before.”

“And I’ve told you every single time to try and ignore them,” Yoongi tried to argue, “you’re not banned from Hybe just because you work at SM.”

Your head shook as your memory filled with the countless stares you’d had before. “It’s alright for you, you never come to SM, you never get to walk in my shoes.”

“So, why don’t I come over to you instead?” He proposed, “let’s see if Hybe really is the problem or if it’s you that’s just worrying over nothing.”

Your eyes looked to him doubtfully, surprised when his head nodded back at you. “What are we supposed to do if you’re not welcome here either.”

“Then we find a place that will accept us both, because we’re not going to let anywhere reject us, are we?” Yoongi asked you.

“Of course, we aren’t, we’re a team after all.”

Hoseok:

You could see the smile that he forced onto his face when you told him you’d be attending the SM company dinner rather than the Hybe one. “I have to put my career over our relationship for one night only.”

“But I told everyone that you’d be here,” he sighed across at you.

“That’s not my fault,” you defended, “and if the parties didn’t fall on the same day, then I would have come with you.”

“It’s like they do this sort of stuff on purpose just to wind us both up,” he vented, throwing himself down on the sofa in frustration, “they know what they’re doing.”

Your head shook as you sat down beside him, “the dinners have always been on these days, it’s just the first time that I’ve actually had to go to one of them too.”

“What about If we split our evening half and half,” he tried to suggest, “Hybe for the first half and SM for the second, then we’re both covered.”

Your hand settled against the top of his leg, “we both know that it’s not the easy, we’re just going to have to go separately, and share stories at the end of the night.”

“It sucks,” he huffed, “I can’t wait for the day when our companies stop trying to get in our way doing stuff like this.”

“I’m sure it won’t be forever, let’s just be patient.”

Namjoon:

Disapproval felt inevitable when the two of you announced your relationship to your companies, hoping that they would trust in you both. “Lee Sooman seems to think that it’ll all end in tears after the cat we had today.”

“Bang PD too,” Namjoon sighed, “he thinks it’s a phase.”

“I think both of them have chosen to ignore the fact that we’ve been together for months,” you sighed.

“They’re worried about how it’ll reflect on the companies,” Namjoon assured you with a confident smile, “they don’t care about the two of us.”

Your head nodded as you sat yourself down beside Namjoon on the sofa, “where do we go from here? It’s obvious that we’re not going to have either company’s backing.”

“Well, we ignore them,” Namjoon stated with a gentle laugh, “I don’t know about you, but I’m certainly not going to let Hybe get in the way of my happiness.”

Your eyes flickered up at him, “I wasn’t planning on letting SM do the same to me either, they’ve controlled enough of my life for too long anyway.”

“It’s their fault for allowing dating after three years,” he smiled, “if they’re not happy, maybe they should rethink their contracts in the future.”

“Shame, they’re too late with mine anyway.”

Jimin:

You could hear the sigh from Jimin as soon as you sat down at the coffee store, muttering an apology across to him. “I tried to get away sooner, but SM Town rehearsals are underway, it’s not that easy.”

“You don’t need to apologise,” he frowned, “it’s not your fault.”

“But I can see that you’re annoyed,” you challenged, “you’ve probably been sat here for a while waiting for me.”

“It can’t be helped, I guess it’s just one of the differences between working for two different companies,” he assured, “ours let’s us go earlier than yours.”

Your head nodded as you ordered yourself a drink, “if you’re trying to imply that Hybe treats their employees better than SM does, then I’m not going to start.”

“That’s not what I’m saying at all,” he smiled, “I know how hard you’re all working to get SM Town sorted, I would do the same if Hybe did something like that.”

You let go of a sigh, both of frustration and exhaustion, “be thankful Hybe doesn’t, it’s chaos, too many opinions and absolutely zero decisions being made.”

“It’ll get easier,” Jimin comforted, “why don’t you forget about it for a while and just enjoy being here with me?”

“You’re right, that’s exactly what I need to do.”

Taehyung:

Your mind was filled with thoughts at the three papers that were in front of you, contracts that would change your life forever. “How can you be tempted by anything other than Hybe?” Taehyung asked beside you.

“I have to think,” you frowned, “you’re not the only factor.”

“But imagine how amazing it would be for the two of us to work in the same company together,” he tried to explain.

“I can appreciate that that is an exciting idea,” you sympathised, “however the contract doesn’t offer me the best for my career, that’s my focus.”

His head dropped as he watched you pick up the contract that SM had offered you. “You’re going to go and work for SM, is this really what you want to do Y/N?”

“I know you want me at Hybe,” you emphasised, “but I hope that you can support me in my decision to go to SM too Tae, I have to put myself first, not us.”

Dejectedly, his head nodded back at you, “I will always support you in everything that you do, even if I wish that it was the Hybe contract in your hand right now.”

“Nothing will change between the two of us,” you told him, “work is work, private life is private life, it’s always the way, right?”

“Definitely, we’ll still always be there for each other.”

Jungkook:

You could feel Jungkook’s eyes looking across at you as the nominees were read out for group of the year as you applauded for Exo’s nomination. “I can’t believe you’re cheering for the opposition; you’ve got to cheer for me.”

“They’re my labelmates,” you defended, “I can support both.”

“As long as you cheer for me a little bit louder than I don’t think I’ll have too much of a problem,” he laughed.

“Don’t worry, I might cheer for Exo, but BTS will always be my number one,” you assured him, poking his arm, “I never had you as the jealous type.”

Jungkook’s head shook as the remaining nominations were read out, “I’m definitely not jealous of Exo, but I’m jealous that they’re your labelmates and I’m not.”

“It’s always been the way,” you smiled, taking a hold of his hand, “I thought we were used to the fact that we work for different companies after all this time?”

His head nodded gently, “I am used to it, but that doesn’t stop me wishing that I could get to spend every day at work bumping into you and meeting you for coffees.”

“One day, maybe,” you sympathised, “but for now, I’ve got to make sure that I’m a part of SM Town as well as a proud member of the army.”

“One day I’ll get you at Hybe, you wait and see.”

---

Masterlist

[tbhsoft]

life bar

idol!haechan x idol!y/n

summary: after the legendary interview was released, you and haechan began dating and have been getting an overwhelming sense of support.

genre: fluff

length: 2.1k

a/n: ah! i didn’t think the first post would gain any traction but it did! thank you so much for returning for a part two :)

this is modeled after the korean variety show, life bar. it’s a great show where celebrities aren’t subject to formal interview settings. please check it out! (mark did appear on the show with xiumin and changmin)

i’m not entirely sure of the hosts’ (other than heechul & yura) popularity outside of korea so excuse me for just labelling them as hosts.

if you missed part one, click here!

originally dnghycks’ gif

[the atmosphere is lively and filled with joy] host: how long have you been dating again?

heechul: oh, haechan! you’re dating someone?

haechan: ah, hyung! let’s not act like no one knows.

[heechul, dejected, grumbles to himself]

johnny (laughing): haechan didn’t fall for your bait.

[haechan winks at heechul, making heechul go into mock rage]

host: so, it’s been about 4 years?

[haechan plays with the glass in his hands, smiling to himself]

haechan (shyly): ya, just about.

heechul: are you guys still in your honeymoon phase?

host: do you still get butterflies when you see them?

haechan (nodding): of course! it hasn’t been that long.

heechul: it’s difficult to have a successful relationship as an idol. how did you guys handle it after that interview went viral?

haechan: it was very different to what i expected, you know?

haechan: first of all, we were preparing for the award shows and i was super focused.

haechan: i think it was during our water break that notifications were blowing up all of our phones.

johnny: we were so confused and thought it was from our managers.

haechan: i didn’t react immediately but i could hear the other members reacting, saying things like “no way” or “holy crap”.

haechan: everyone turned and looked at me. i felt like an imposter.

haechan: i was like “what? do i have something on my face? did someone send a meme of me?”

haechan: that’s when mark hyung showed me the news articles.

haechan: i blanked out for the rest of the day if i’m honest, barely remember anything from that day.

haechan: the only thing i remember was the pit in my stomach growing every time i stopped practicing. so, i kept pushing myself so i didn’t have time to think.

johnny: haechan actually fainted that day. he worked himself so hard that we had to rush him to the hospital.

haechan: luckily, it was just exhaustion and i could still perform. but, when i woke up, they told me to rest as much as possible.

haechan: the managers made sure i didn’t leave the house and told me to rest up.

haechan: it forced me to process what the news articles were saying.

haechan: once i did, all i was worried about was how y/n might be handling it.

haechan: was jyp going to give them a hard time?

host: did you text them?

haechan: because we were both focused on the award shows, i thought it best to avoid contact with them until it was all over.

johnny: even when it was all over, he still couldn’t text them.

johnny: i remember haechan pacing our room, trying to decide whether or not to call them.

haechan: i wanted to offer comfort but i wasn’t sure if it would aggravate the situation.

haechan: i think it was a few days after the last award show that i had an official meeting with lee sooman and the press team.

haechan: my eyes were wide the entire meeting.

haechan: lee sooman started the meeting by saying “congratulations!” and i was confused.

haechan: he went on to explain that he liked y/n for me and would support this relationship publicly as long as it didn’t affect my work.

haechan: i couldn’t really articulate my feelings so i think i just nodded.

haechan: he continued asking me about y/n after it, asking if we had made it official yet.

haechan: when i said no, he said that he would issue a buffer statement so i had time to ask them out.

haechan: the meeting concluded and, on my way home, y/n texted me.

heechul: what did they say?

haechan: “can we talk?”

heechul (dramatically rubbing his arms): oh no! the chills!

[haechan chuckles and takes a sip of his beer]

haechan: i told them we should meet in person to talk about it as professionals and adults.

johnny: when he tells it like that, it makes him seem tough. he was tearing up while he was getting ready to go out.

[haechan throws dried squid at johnny]

johnny: yo, thank you! i was hungry!

haechan (rolling his eyes): i wasn’t tearing up—

johnny: you’re right! you were sobbing. my bad!

johnny: you were so scared that you were gonna lose y/n.

[haechan balls up his fist in playful anger]

haechan: if only…

haechan: anyways, i was scared that i was going to be entering the new year without my best friend.

haechan: i asked johnny to drive me to our meeting spot so our manager wouldn’t know.

haechan: once we got there, y/n was already waiting on the bench for me so i told johnny to just chill in the car.

johnny: this is when i snuck my phone in his parka so i could wiretap the conversation.

[haechan pinches his nose bridge]

haechan: ah, hyung! privacy! no wonder your guesses were so accurate.

haechan: anyways, we sat down and talked like we always do. then, we got together!

johnny: in the end, y/n asked him out because he kept stumbling over his words.

johnny: y/n was giggling the whole time. it was very wholesome.

[haechan facepalms while the hosts laugh]

heechul (facing the camera): y/n, please take care of haechan! i know he lacks courage sometimes but—

haechan: really, now? after 4 years?

[johnny laughs while patting haechan’s head]

host: do you hold any resentment towards your interviewers?

[haechan takes a swig of his beer]

haechan: i did at the beginning? i don’t think y/n or i were ready to confess our feelings to each other’s faces just yet.

haechan: but, it’s not entirely their fault either.

haechan: i think, because we kept it a secret for so long, we wanted to tell someone and it was the first time we were prompted to talk about it under the veil of false security.

johnny (understandingly): and it’s easier to tell strangers than your closest friends, right?

haechan: for sure. i think a small part of me did hope they would see the entire interview at some point and that’s why i was so transparent.

heechul: and, because of that, you’re in a beautiful relationship now!

haechan (grinning): thank goodness for that!

host: what did they say when you told them you were coming to our show?

[haechan throws his head back in laughter]

johnny (chuckling): they told him that his taste in alcohol sucks and that they felt sorry for the hosts.

heechul: but, all the drinks you recommended are so good!

haechan (wiping away tears): that’s because they’re their recommendations. i don’t really drink for taste, only the social aspect.

johnny: y/n doesn’t like alcohol. so, if they think something tastes good, then it tastes amazing.

heechul: let’s raise our glasses to our hero, y/n!

[everyone happily raises their glass and cheers to you]

host: did you take them on a date immediately after the statements were released?

haechan: well, i wanted to… but, busy schedules and the fact that we hung out so much beforehand made it near impossible to have a good first date.

johnny: he was looking up “good date ideas” online and kept complaining that he already did those.

haechan: it wasn’t intentional. i guess y/n and i just liked to do couple things unironically.

heechul: i can’t believe you guys never got caught.

haechan: i think it’s because we were dressed so plainly without any disguises.

haechan: only a few people ever recognized our bare faces.

haechan: so, i decided to take them to jeju to see my mom after she called me.

johnny (laughing): i remember that call! she was like “now, bring my future in-law or else i’ll beat you up!”

haechan: when we got there, my mom totally ignored me and went straight for them.

haechan: she told them “i knew donghyuck liked you! he’s such a loser for not asking you out sooner.”

[haechan massages his temple and sighs]

johnny: on the record, haechan’s mom definitely loves y/n more than him.

[haechan nods in agreement]

haechan: so, after my mom babied y/n enough, i took them where you could see the stars perfectly.

haechan: i was really nervous and i didn’t really know what to do until y/n grabbed my hand.

haechan: they looked at me and said “as long as you’re with me, every passing moment is perfect. so, stop trying so hard.”

heechul: woah, y/n is so cool.

haechan: they really are. so, we spent our first real date stargazing and just enjoyed each other’s company.

[the host introduces the next dish and haechan helps set the table] heechul: why don’t we call y/n?

haechan (hesitant): i don’t know if they’re awake. they’re always taking naps at this time.

heechul: i’ll call them.

[heechul rings you up]

you (groggily): hello?

heechul: y/n! it’s heechul with the life bar crew. if you could introduce yourself.

[shuffling is heard through the phone]

you (clearer): all in us! hello, i’m y/n from itzy!

heechul: we were just talking about your relationship and wanted to hear your perspective.

[heechul motions haechan to say something]

haechan (sweetly): hi, darling. i’m sorry we interrupted your nap.

you: no, it’s okay! my alarm was about to go off anyways.

haechan: i was telling them about what happened after the interview and our first date.

you: ah, those were interesting.

heechul: oh? interesting, how?

you (giggling): if you know haechan, you know he doesn’t really cry, much less sob. but, when he showed up to talk, his eyes were puffy from crying so much and he had tear streaks on his face.

haechan (pouting): let’s not expose too much, y/n!

you (teasingly): what are you gonna do? cry on me?

[haechan sits back in his chair, frowning]

you: anyways! i vividly remember feeling bolder after the interview, not that i wasn’t nervous about public opinion.

you: however, i was actually talking to jyp when everything blew up.

you: he reassured me that he didn’t mind and he would support any decision i made.

you: just like that, he removed a whole weight off of my shoulders.

you: so, i was able to perform with confidence and complete reassurance.

you: but, whenever i saw hyuck at the award shows, he looked like he was about to implode so i thought it was better to wait for him to text me.

you: i’m sure johnny told you how frustrated the whole group was. i was the exact same.

[haechan blushes and buries his face in his hands]

you: i just wanted to be able to call him mine but he wouldn’t text me.

[everyone laughs and quietly teases haechan]

you (laughing): honestly, i was really impatient but i didn’t want to push him. so, i waited for a whole week after the last award show.

you: but, he was avoiding me really well! i even had to text johnny to make sure he was still alive.

you: so, i decided to just reach out to him first.

you: during the meeting, i tried to act like normal and tease him about his puffy face but he was having none of it.

you: “y/n, this is serious. this is our careers we’re talking about.”

you: i was scared for a moment until he was stumbling his confession out.

you: “the interview! i meant it. everything. i do. i would really like it if— i mean if you feel the same way— of course you do! you said it in the video. you do feel the same way, right?”

haechan (whining): you’re making me sound lame!

you: no, you were cute! but, also, slightly lame.

[you cackle through the phone]

you: so, i just asked him.

heechul: how about the first date?

you: he was so worried about being romantic and having that perfect first date that he forgot that i’m just a simple person.

you: when we went to see the stars, he was so nervous and was getting frustrated with himself.

you: to me, the effort he went through in itself was romantic to me.

you: i didn’t need the most spectacular first date because him being by my side was more than perfect.

you: so, i just let him know my thoughts and, when he finally relaxed, it became the most memorable first date ever.

heechul: what happened after he relaxed?

haechan: i listed all the little things that made me fall in love with them time and time again.

[everyone awes]

you: he made me feel like the most beautiful being in the universe.

heechul: okay! before this turns to sappy, y/n! thank you so much for joining us today!

you (laughing): it was my pleasure! invite me next time so i can expose haechan!

haechan: ya!

heechul: will do, bye!

[heechul hangs up the call]

host: you can definitely feel the love between you two.

haechan (in mock anger): i’m going to jump them the next time i see them.

heechul (grinning): well, i wish you guys nothing but happiness. host (raising his glass): to haechan and y/n’s beautiful relationship! [glasses clink as a bright grin appears on haechan’s face]

a/n: if i’m completely honest, idk how relationships work so idk if the way i wrote about this situation was done in a healthy way :P

pls feel free to give me feedback because i’m always looking to improve!

thank you so much for reading once again!

also, idk really know how taglists work so... @wownajaemin​, hello!

[blessyouhawkeye]

if irene really is leaving sm and red velvet disbands i WILL be killing myself and it WILL be lee sooman's fault. just so you all know.

[jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue]

Hiii, how are you doing?? Just wanted to say I really am looking forward to oll!! I was hoping you’d drop a little jaw dropping spoiler? Pretty please 🥺

Hello my lovely I am so sorry it’s taking so long 😭 but it’s getting there I promise you and I have some special treats in this chapter to make up for it (which might go well or … taste sour depending on where you stand with this relationship and dynamic)

Just because I absolutely love you to pieces I am willing to offer you the whole first scene under the cut if you want to read it, or if you want to wait you don’t have to 💜 the choice is yours

Namjoon wasn’t all that impressed with seeing the Chief of police visiting his cell, the syndicate boss was dressed too well to belong there, it was almost an eyesore. A glance to the camera, the normal red blinking light absent tells him all he needs to know. There were no eyes or ears to this conversation.

“I thought I paid you to keep your men in line,” Namjoon says in lieu of greeting. “Was a bullet to the knee not warning enough for your dear Captain?”

“He wasn’t an issue when I spoke to him, the man was on leave!” the chief replied. “Your girl was the problem he-”

“Be very careful how you finish that sentence,” he advised with a deep angry rumble from his chest. “I am well aware who is at fault here, and regardless of what our little love does, she is never to blame.”

Chief Lee Soo-man only nods once, biting back his complaints.

“I asked you to sort out Kim Suho, I told you to keep him in check,” Namjoon growls. “Keeping your pockets full isn’t an act of charity Lee, it’s a purchase. I own you.”

“Yes sir,” he mumbles in response. “I assure you this arrest is just a formality, the case won’t stand once it’s revealed Detective L/n-”

The glare the man in the blazerless three piece suit gave him was enough to stop him in his tracks. Right, he couldn’t involve you in this, that was going to make things harder than they needed to be.

“What do you recommend then sir?” he asks when he finds his voice and wavering courage.

Namjoon sighs harshly, and the Chief swears he can almost see smoke.

“I want to be alone with my little love,” it’s not a request, the chief didn’t let the soft lilt of his fool him.

“I don’t know how that would be poss-”

“I want,” Namjoon cuts in, unable to bear another second of this blithering idiot, “her to be the one to interrogate me. And I can trust you understand the rest.”

“Y-yessssir,” he stutters, not completely hearing the words between the lines, and that was clear enough on his face.

“I want her alone, Sooman,” Namjoon repeats himself, if this were one of his men he would never have needed to. “I don’t want a single soul witness to what I’m going to do to her.”

[high-five-of-teenager-trashblog]

Discography Discussion: We Hate All Kinds of Violence

If you’ve been following this blog for a while, you probably know quite a bit about H.O.T. I assume you have a favorite member. I bet you’ve heard tracks like “I-Yah” and “Hope”. But I haven’t really discussed the start of H.O.T in depth, nor the discography of their first album. After making you wait so long, let’s talk about how this influential group began.

Before H.O.T

In order to understand why H.O.T was created, we’ve got to understand Korean history.

(Note: As this blog is about one group and the point of this post is to talk about one album, I am leaving out a lot of notable events and people to give you a basic summary of what led to H.O.T.)

Up until 1988, South Korea had been constantly under oppressive political regimes. This oppression extended to music, which limited who could sing and what songs would be allowed to the masses. 1988 is a very important year in Korean history because that was when the country opened itself to the world and hosted the 1988 Seoul Olympics in Jamsil, Seoul. Through various political, economic, and technological changes, Korea was gradually transforming into what it is now. However, music was still largely either patriotic tunes or shallow love songs.

You know what came next. In the spring of 1992 Seo Taiji and Boys debuted. They had mass appeal among young people in Korea because they made music directed to people in Korea that was about their problems. Even though there was management involved with the group, it was entirely under the control of Seo Taiji - not some executive who dictated what the group could say and do. Also, they were not the first group in Korea to use rock music or rap, but the way Seo Taiji combined different genres and styles was very different - and very appealing. Bland dance and pop music produced by large broadcasting companies weren’t going to cut it anymore.

Generally speaking, whenever there is some kind of innovation, businesses and investors crop up looking to make a profit. The Korean music industry is no different. The rise of Seo Taiji and Boys created this essential question: Could a company recreate Seo Taiji and Boys?

The answer came in 1996.

H.O.T Pre-Debut

Before SM Entertainment, there was SM Studio. It was Lee Sooman’s first serious venture into starting a music company. In 1990, Hyun Jinyoung debuted as the first artist in the company and led to the start of several careers. Lee Sooman eventually signed on other artists, such as Yoo Youngjin in 1993.

However, Lee Sooman had seen the Japanese system of training idols and wanted to adapt that for Korea. Some things came out of this and became standardized in K-Pop (to some extent), such as idols of the same group living together and going through training for a period of time. This also changed how artists were managed and signed on. It went from being like MGM during Hollywood’s Golden Age to the “factory” idea we know now.

The first idols (and lab rats) for this were H.O.T. Kangta was the first to be recruited for his voice when Lee Sooman heard him sing at Lotte World. Heejun was asked to audition due to his ability to dance, sing, and write music. Woohyuk passed his audition as he was also a talented dancing. Jaewon’s recruitment isn’t well-known other than that he gained points for his visual appeal, however, sometimes people make claims that he was previously friends with Heejun and yet aren’t able to provide credible sources (at least that I’m aware of). Tony, however, auditioned with his friend Andy in LA and was voted in by the other four members. Lee Sooman has said that Tony didn’t have much going for him, but he recruited him because he thought the teenager would work hard. Together, these five were everything the public wanted.

Before H.O.T debuted, they were seen in public. Heejun and Kangta were dancers for Yoo Youngjin, and Jaewon and Woohyuk joined them later (I’m not sure if Tony did, however, considering how late he joined). The group even performed their debut song at a festival at Heejun’s high school. They were generating hype and ready to begin.

The We Hate All Kinds of Violence Album

 H.O.T debuted on Sept. 7th, 1996. Their first album was called We Hate All Kinds of Violence. The cover art shows a person sitting on a step with their head in their arms in a way that usually denotes sadness or despair while wearing uniform with a hat that says “Workers”. The combination of group name, album title, and album artwork set the tone of the album at a glance as being geared towards teenagers. This was a smart move on SM’s part. Seo Taiji and Boys had disbanded earlier that year, so there was a void in the music industry that needed to be filled, and H.O.T seemed to fit the bill for a lot of young people in Korea.

Warrior’s Descendant

Their debut track was “Warrior’s Descendant”. Just hearing that title tends to interest people even before they hear the actual song. It gives off the impression that the song is about someone who has a fighting spirit like their ancestors, even if they themselves aren’t soldiers.

Lyrics (DISCLAIMER FOR THIS SECTION: TW: BULLYING)

The lyrics themselves are about bullying. The opening words are, “Ah~ Why are you hitting me?” (Lyrics Source) From there the lyrics are presented as though by the victim themselves asking why they’re being beaten up. Parts of the song seem to indicate that this isn’t a one-off thing, it’s something that’s been going on for a long time:

You changed me without a guilt You hit me Once we were friends You ruined me

I was beaten like a stupid idiot I lost everything and was roaming around Now with sounds of punch, steal and breaths My heart was torn already because of my lost friends

However, this person seems to believe that someone will save them and that this won’t go on forever.

It's time to stop, The violence, hate, and all the mess, It's about time someone should stand for what is right, That is right

Now I want my future that I've been dreaming of I think of everything can be back as it was before I trusted you I trust you once more Save me Someone someone can

Unfortunately, the song ends with the realization that no one is going save them. That someone can save them, but no one does.

Someone someone can,someone someone can, That I know it, That I know it, That I know it, Can Can That I know it, Someone someone someone someone someone can, someone can, someone can, someone can can can can can, But I know it won't happen, Now I give up everything; I have because of you. They ruined me, They took it all even my last hope You became my enemy and now I give you up They ruined me, They took it all even my last hope. I look for the hope; It's nowhere Now I'm gonna punish myself.....

The worst part of this is that the victim seems to be blaming themselves. They seem to think that they were at fault so they are going to give up. The last line itself, “Now I’m gonna punish myself” is especially troubling.

While you might have been hoping there would be a happy ending, this song wasn’t meant to have one. For a debut song that was supposed to target teenagers, this was a perfect introduction. Bullying is common everywhere, but it’s especially bad in Korea. If you’ve been a fan of K-Pop or K-Dramas for a while, you’ve probably heard a lot about this.

I think the reason why the song ends on a hopeless tone is because the song verbalized what a lot of kids and teenagers in that position probably feel like. Considering how many people follow this blog, I assume that at least one person reading this has been (or is currently being) bullied, so these words probably resonate with you.

And that is the point of “Warrior’s Descendant”, as it targets two groups of people. The first group of people are the ones being bullied, as it tells their point of view. The second group are the bystanders, as it calls them out for not doing anything about it. It calls for these two groups of people to look at each other and see that this isn’t just something that happens, bullying is a choice. The point of the lyrics is to tell people who are bullied that what they’re going through isn’t right, and to tell people to stop being a bystander and do something. This song was a call to action.

Also, the beginning of this song tends to get used in variety shows. However, I don’t think I’ve ever seen it used to match up with the context of the lyrics. Next time you hear this song somewhere, you might want to take note of the feeling the song brings to the situation it’s used for.

(End of bullying discussion)

This was actually the first song Yoo Youngjin produced, and led to his long and successful career with composing and producing music at SM Entertainment.

The MV

The music video itself shows a story between cutting to H.O.T singing and dancing. The MV opens with a teenage boy looking up while bloody, then cuts to people walking away from him - great hook. It quickly cuts to the night before when the guy was walking with a girl while carrying his violin case. Three guys around his age come and beat him up, and then go after the girl. When the guy sees the girl being targeted, he gets up to fight them off of her and she tries to defend him as well. It ends with the teenager bloody in the daylight with his broken violin. Maybe it’s just me reading into things, but it looks like the guy got beat up in the alley and then possibly got dragged to a school due to the building in the background.

It also has a very 90s style to it. Their outfits were purchased by the members themselves - I don’t know if SM had a stylist who told them what to get or if they were just given free reign, but they did have to pay for them. In addition to the outfits, there were some hallmarks of the time period in the music video, such as graffiti, which was a very popular aesthetic in the 90s and can also be seen in Turbo’s “Black Cat” MV.

Also, even though I haven’t heard anyone else agree with me on this, I personally feel like “Warrior’s Descendant” sounds like “Come Back Home” by Seo Taiji and Boys due to the vocals, instrumental, and tone. Considering that H.O.T was largely created as a response to Seo Taiji and Boys, I think it’s quite possible that recalling the other group was intentional.

However, “Warrior’s Descendant” is simultaneously where Seo Taiji and Boys ends and H.O.T begins.

Candy

Does this song really need an introduction? Probably not, so I’m just going to jump into it. This is H.O.T’s most well-known song and is beloved by many people even years later. It was also their golden ticket and get-out-of-jail-free card throughout their time promoting together.

MV

This music video is iconic for so many reasons.

First up, the location is perfect for such a bright song. It was filmed at Lotte World in Jamsil, Seoul.

Now, you might be thinking to yourself, “Jamsil? I’ve heard of that place before” and you would be correct! That’s where the 1988 Seoul Olympic Games took place, and it’s also a huge part of H.O.T’s history. They had their 918 concert there in 1999, their last concert there in 2001, and their reunion concerts have been there because of the 2001 concert as well.

As for Lotte World itself, it’s one of the major theme parks in South Korea. H.O.T filmed in front of the famous merry-go-round and various other sites around the park. Fun fact: this is also where the drama “Stairway to Heaven” was filmed at.

When I was in Korea, I visited Jamsil quite a few times and it was one of my favorite places. You have no idea how excited I was when I went to the Olympic Park and saw the stadium in person. I also got the chance to visit Lotte World and ride on the merry-go-round, as well as walk on the outdoor bridge they danced on. If you’re an H.O.T fan, I highly recommend going there.

Choreography

The dance for this song is very iconic because it’s bouncy and fun. When I say bouncy, I mean that literally considering as Heejun’s favorite dance move involves him bouncing on the ground.

Trademark Colors

If you’ve been a fan of K-Pop for a while, you probably know that a lot of groups have their own color. The first group that had an official fan color (to my knowledge) was Seo Taiji and Boys, and their color was yellow. However, colors became more of a big deal for K-Pop groups because of H.O.T.

H.O.T’s official color is white, which is why you tend to see them wear white suits and their light stick is white. However, they also have an official color for each member. Heejun is yellow, Woohyuk is blue, Tony is red, Kangta is green, and Jaewon is orange. If you see merch of the group, you’ll often see these colors being heavily associated with each member, and you’ll often see fans cheering with their individual color as well as white.

These colors helped the public to easily identify who was who when they were rookies.

They also had different accessories. Woohyuk had his floppy hat with eyeballs attached to it - that can be seen on that light stick he teased. Kangta had a bag. Tony had a hat. Jaewon had earmuffs - which was a win because it was getting to be cold when this track was released. Heejun, however, had a visor which he hated due to it not keeping him warm in the winter, nor cool in the summer. Their fluffy outfits also endeared them to the public because of how cute they were.

Lyrics

So now that we’ve talked about all the visuals, let’s talk about what “Candy” itself is about. First off, the lyrics to this song are so painfully 90s and cheesy. The story is this: a guy plans on going on break (or breaking up) with his girlfriend because he realizes he’s not the best boyfriend and their relationship isn’t doing great. He literally decides that suddenly when he wakes up in the morning - you can’t make this up.

To be honest with you I want to see you today to talk about us to tell you that I need some space Please understand me I’m telling you that it was a difficult decision Actually, I thought of it this morning

He admits that it’s something he needs to work on and says:

I will need to change myself Without your knowing it I’ve compared you to other girls

There’s a part of the lyrics that are very angsty and dramatic.

When I dream about us each time the dream would vanish and I am left by myself Crying so pathetic stuck in this position I decided I’m leaving you! I’m leaving you! Although I still love you I will leave I will forget and stop loving you As I look to the sky above me I told myself I must keep my heart cold towards you

However, he eventually realizes that even though their relationship needs work, he loves her and actually doesn’t want to be apart from her.

I love only you I said this to you All that I had prepared to say turned backwards I’ll always be by your side

It finishes up with Kangta saying this:

I’ll always be by your side You’ll never be alone again I’m here next to you

The conclusion the songs comes to is this: There can be problems with your relationship, but if you really love them and want to stay with them, you need to communicate and work on making your relationship better.

Also, don’t make huge decisions rashly - I think that should be the big takeaway from this.

Like “Warrior’s Descendant”, this song is also used on variety shows quite a bit. I’ve even heard it called, “The Perfect Song for Valentine’s Day”. Considering the context of this song is essentially about a breakup (until the end), I have my doubts when it’s used on broadcasts that are trying to hype up a love line.

(Lyrics Source)

The Candy Consequence

Earlier I mentioned that “Candy” was their golden ticket. Now that you understand the song itself, let’s talk about why it is that way.

“Warrior’s Descendant” was very serious and geared towards teenagers. “Candy”, however, took their popularity and gave H.O.T a family-friendly reputation. It was the perfect combination of cute guys, a sweet song, and iconic visuals that helped the general public to differentiate them from other groups at the time.

While Seo Taiji and Boys were massively popular with Korea’s youth, they were often thought of as being rebellious, especially since they famously criticized various aspects of Korea - such as the education system.

If you’ve read my other Discography Discussions, you’re well-aware of what H.O.T has done over the years. However, unlike Seo Taiji and Boys, they weren’t as censored or thought of as being nearly as problematic. Why? Look no further than “Candy”.

The popularity “Candy” has is two-sided. On one side, it’s annoying because people (especially newer or international fans) tend to associate them with it, instead of the rest of their discography. On the other side, because people associate them with it first, they tend to be more forgiving (and ignorant >.>) whenever H.O.T released tracks that were full of profanity or violence.

While “Candy” is quite different from most of their other popular tracks, it was the one that allowed H.O.T to rise to heights no one had been expecting.

Other Tracks of Interest

You’re Fast, I’m Slow - This tends to be one of those songs that H.O.T fans know because it gets used in compilations and as background music. The lyrics themselves are about a girl hitting on a guy and trying to make their relationship go at a faster pace than what he’s ready for. He’s asking her to slow down so that they can have a good relationship. They’re just friends, but the girl clearly wants to be more.

A day or two has passed and you've changed too much You kept catching me off guard with your "non-PG" questions You teased me, saying that I didn't have any courage and I was such a boring guy

And before y’all ask, yes, he’s into her. Warning: Explicit

But you don't know my heart I want all of you Don't rush it too much I want to show you my heart slowly

I want to have you, Something that I've deeply wanted If you give me another chance, I'll take you tonight

I'll make you feel real good Even make you groan & moan like I know you should

Remember how I said “Candy” allowed them to get away with more explicit stuff? “You’re Fast, I’m Slow” is Exhibit A. Yoo Youngjin is too obvious sometimes.

(Lyric Source)

Your Image in the Sunset - This is basically your standard breakup song. I’m just pointing it out because I love the instrumental and how this song sounds, tbh. It really gives off a 90s feeling.

Another Stressful Day - This song is about a guy who has a hangover and has to get to work. The kicker is that the members were too young to legally drink when this came out. Considering that the guy on the cover is wearing a work uniform, it is possible that true context of the image is that he is hungover, not upset due to some violent circumstance.

The Age of Individual Characteristic - This song has a great message about self love and not judging people by their appearances alone.

just because you think you're ugly, don’t just sit at home staring into a mirror, accept a new change - find a unique characteristic about yourself..

please, don’t let love follow changing fashion.. don’t let it change.. a male wearing tight short shorts with long hair and a female wearing torn long jeans with a 'sports cut' hair.. lets help each others individual characteristics prevail..

(Lyrics Source)

About Women - This is the final track on the album. It’s basically H.O.T saying that they don’t understand women, but they respect them. It starts out with talking about stereotypes men have for women, and then goes into arguing about it. However, these are the parting words H.O.T concludes the track and the album with:

Women sometimes make our lives hard and confusing, but we have to remember they're not toys, They're not toys but real deep beings... 

(Lyrics Source)

Conclusion

We Hate All Kinds of Violence was an excellent start for H.O.T’s career and a new era of Korean music. It was an album for teenagers by teenagers. Although a lot of their work has been forgotten over the years, it is certainly an important artifact that waits to be discovered by those it speaks to.

Where to listen to the album: iTunes Spotify

[maglover]

I just listened to the aespa ep and it’s middling to forgettable to grating which is reflective of the group itself. I’m most partial to Lucid Dream bc it’s a reprieve (you’ll start to love reprieves on this album bc you’re gonna need it) but again it’s an unremarkable song with fun production. The group struggles in having their talents be what makes the music come to life, not the entire concept being wrapped in 50 layers of expensive production. But that’s not the girls’ fault, that’s Lee Sooman using his tax fraud money.

[fullsunalicia]

may I request a break up but then they make up situation with haechan/jeno? angst to fluff? AAA thank you i love ur writes sm

of course you can, love! thank you so much for requesting and for your kind words, i love you 🤍

Lee Donghyuck

You’ve been fighting all day.

He hates it. He hates having to be serious and to sit down, and he hates the way his temper gets the best of him sometimes. Haechan cannot bare to see the tears in your eyes, but when you gather phone and keys so you can go out to get a clear head, he begs you not to. He begs you to stay and take a nap and then you’ll talk about it in the evening, but you only mumble a small “sorry”, and then you’re out the door.

What Donghyuck also hates is when you spend time with his members after you guys were arguing. Sometimes, he tends to forget how close you and Jaemin are, even though you got together because of his matchmaker skills. So when he sees the snap Jaemin sends to the Dreamies groupchat where you’re sitting on a bench and eating ice cream, Donghyuck shouldn’t be seething, but he is.

He can’t believe you’d talk about your relationship problems with Na Jaemin. The thought drives him so far up the wall that he loses his temper the second you come back home, Jaemin’s hoodie covering your small frame.

Donghyuck hates the way his anger controls him during moments like this. It hadn’t helped when he and Mark and fought three years ago, and it certainly didn’t help now. You snap at each other back and forth, and he lets the words slip without even meaning to. The second they leave his mouth, he already regrets them, but he can’t take them back, they’re already spoken.

“Just admit you’re cheating on me already. I can’t stand to see you with guys who could provide you with much more than I can and I don’t want to be the stand-in until the right guy comes.”

Your mouth had fallen open at that.

There was no reason, no reason at all for him to have said that. You had argued this morning because of a guy that had gotten too flirty yesterday at a party, but it wasn’t like you had flirted back. Donghyuck had told you to stand up for yourself and atleast tell the dumb guy that you were taken. You retorted that being taken couldn’t have been more obvious than you holding his hand.

“Hyuck,” you had said, and there are tears forming in your eyes. His heart hurts so fucking much. That guy from yesterday just couldn’t leave his head - Donghyuck wished so desperately to tell the entire world that you were his and his alone, that you were his soulmate, that he wants to make you his wife someday. But he can’t, because he’s an idol, and he doesn’t even belong to himself. How can you be his when he’s never gonna be yours? “Hyuck, what are you on about?”

“Let’s break up, (y/n),” Donghyuck said. The room fell silent, and his heartbeat seemed to be loud enough for you to hear it. “I’m setting you free.”

You hadn’t stopped him from rushing out the apartment. You didn’t follow him down the many stairs leading to the street and you didn’t come to the dorm after to try and fix it.

Why should you? After what Hyuck had done to you, he couldn’t even look into the mirror.

He may have left that apartment, but his heart was still with you. Without it, he felt so unbelievably hollow. He tried to fill it with junk food and alcohol and the affection of his members, wandering from bed to bed so someone would hold him when he’d start crying in his sleep.

It didn’t help.

After three days, Donghyuck is awoken by something crashing loudly in the living room. His eyes snap open, and he raises his head to identify the commotion. The door to his and Johnny’s room is closed, but the noises only grow louder until they reach the door and someone turns the knob.

You tumble into the room, wearing not Jaemin’s hoodie, but his.

He moves to stand up, but you’re quick, falling into the bed and straddling him so you can give him a bone-crushing hug. He doesn’t even care about the fact that he can barely breathe like this. Haechan’s arms move on instinct to cradle your body lovingly, burying his face in your neck and breathing in deeply. This, this is what was missing, and he realizes that no food in the world could ever chase away that empty feeling.

You pour all your love into it instead.

“Baby,” Haechan whimpers, “My sweet baby. I’m so sorry for saying that. I was out of my mind. It’s just that I’m always so scared of loving you because I can’t give you what any other boyfriend can...”

“Hyuck,” you disrupt him. He whines loudly when you push him away, in the typical bratty way, but you shut him up with a hand to his mouth. “Don’t say dumb stuff again. I don’t want what anyone else would give me. I want you and I want to be yours.”

His heart soars at those words. It makes him giddy, a smile tugging at his lips, and he attacks your face with kisses, biting your cheeks and soothing it with a sweet peck after. “You always were.”

You giggle. It’s his favorite sound in the entire world. He apologizes over and over, but kissing him until he’s breathless does the trick.

(You later explain that the loud commotion in the living room was Jaemin trying to sneak you into the dorm, even though he didn’t live at the 127 dorm. You ended up scaring Doyoung and had resorted to running to his room. The entire house hears Donghyuck laugh about that.)

Lee Jeno

Jeno and you have been broken up for a long time, but it still hurts.

It hurts so much that you get breathless every time you see him and his group on social media. His voice drives daggers through your heart when you listen to him during interviews, and no matter how much you try to explain to your battered heart that it’s over, it still hopes for him to come back.

Loving Lee Jeno was as easy as breathing. Who wouldn’t adore him, with his kind smile and cute pick-up lines? The simple beauty of watching him rap, or having the air knocked out of your lungs because of how passionately he kissed you. His kindness, his attentiveness. It all drew you in and locked you into his heart.

And then he had pushed you out.

Not on his own accords, though. The dating ban was pressuring him, and SM was always uneasy with your relationship. No matter how much Jeno tried to convince them, in the end, they forced his hand and made him break up with you.

The fact that it wasn’t even his own decisions makes your heart bleed.

It’s an open wound that no one wants to irritate. Your friends don’t mention Jeno, and you never talk about him again. All the memories, the stolen kisses, the many up-all-nights where you shared secrets and life experiences, you hid it all away, never to be seen again.

You suffer in silence for a long time.

Exactly one year later, you see him on TV. His music video is being displayed on one of the flat screens that were positioned in the café you were in, and your friends hurry to hide your sight, but it’s too late. A sad smile makes its’ way to your lips - he looks so beautiful. You remember his shy smile after telling him that he looked stunning, just for him to whisper back: “You’re way more pretty, (y/n). The prettiest and most precious person in my life.”

Your friends quickly pay for your coffees and then tug you outside. You feel bad for burdening them, but they tell you that they love you and this was not burdening them. They’d always take care of you.

Unfortunately for them, they run you right back into Lee Jeno’s arms.

You squeak in suprise as you stumble, but strong hands hold you up. He’s gained muscle, is the first thing you notice, and his hair is dyed is blonde. The second thing you notice is how soft his gaze gets as he recognizes you.

“Hey,” Jeno says. His hands haven’t left your waist.

“Hey,” you whisper back, your eyes never leaving his. He’s heartbreakingly beautiful. Sharp jawline, eyes wide at the sight of you. You want to kiss him. Coughing awkwardly, you step back, and his hands drop to his sides. You want to apologize, but your friends are already tugging you along, cussing out Lee Jeno as they go.

He doesn’t even get to tell you how much he had missed you. Missed you so much he almost begged you on the spot to take him back.

Later that night, you receive a text message. Your heart almost jumps out of your chest. You thought you’d never see his name pop up on your screen again.

[07:26pm] lee jeno: come down

You don’t even lock your phone before storming out of your apartment, and you also barely remember to take your keys with you. You almost fall down the damn stairs trying to get to the street.

Lee Jeno waits for you, the biggest bouquet you’ve ever seen in his hands. He has your favorite smile on his lips, his shy one, the one you were shown everytime you gushed over him. You wrap him in a hug and tug him down so you can hide your face in his shoulder, and his lips find your temple.

“Lee Sooman is going to kill you,” you deadpan, but you still hold on to him to make sure he doesn’t disappear. Jeno doesn’t even answer, instead resorting to tilt your head and kiss you so many times until he’s sure your mind is fuzzy.

“I’ll tell him it’s not my fault,” he says, grinning from ear to ear. “You’re too cute. I ... want to give us a chance. Because I love you, and I think I’ll love you forever. Can I be your forever?”

“There’s no forever if Lee Sooman assassinates you,” you tell him, but it’s not like you can reject him. So you nod, hands cupping his face. “I want to be your forever, too.”