#and its kinda a belter so far i love to say it

[philzokman]

been laughing for the past ten minutes at the opening for this essay oh my fucking god 😭😭

link to the essay!

[emiefaunwrites]

I would LOVE Leon and Taka going to one of Ibuki's concerts (I have been listening to her fan song and I think it would give Taka a stroke)

Hey anon!

OKAY SO I DIDN'T KNOW THIS SONG EXISTED AND NOW I AM OBSESSED! HOLY SHIT ITS INCREDIBLE! DJSKWHDJAKFHWK

And hell YES it would break our poor boy. Until...yiu know...it gets stuck in his...hehehehehe.

THIS IS HAPPENING! FUCKING YES! Thank you for introducing me to this belter and I hope you enjoy this!!

**********************

• Taka is the kind of guy who supports his fellow students.

• If someone asks for his help, he'll gladly do it.

• If someone needs an opinion, he'll offer it freely.

• Words of encouragement? He's on it.

• And if someone has a performance, or game, or competition, you bet your butt he will be there to cheer them on - even if he has no idea what's happening.

• This is how he ends up with tickets to see his upperclassman's concert - unable to refuse a chance to support their final show before they graduate.

• He's never heard Ibuki's music but he's heard rumours that it's...interesting.

• But he's not phased. His friends listen to interesting songs and he's an Eminem fan himself. Who is he to judge?

• So a week before the big show, he asks Leon to go with him.

• Unsurprisingly, Leon is shocked that Taka wants to go.

• 'You SURE you wanna go?'

• 'Yes of course! I have to support my upperclassmen...'

• 'I'm not really sure her music is...your kinda thing though...'

• 'It doesn't matter! I'm going to support her!'

• Well. Leon tried.

• But he has to admit - it's gonna be fun going to a concert with his boyfriend!

• He convinces Taka to let him style him (especially having caught Taka in his clothes the month before, he's DYING to see it again).

• So he gets Taka in a hoodie and jeans, ruffling his hair up with gel.

• Ugh, why do they have to go?! He just wants to make out with his hot boyfriend...

• But they do go - and Taka's trying to lead them towards the front.

• 'Trust me, babe. Let's hang back here.'

• 'But...'

• 'TRUST ME.'

• With a pout, Taka hangs back - wrapping his arms around Leon's waist while he thinks.

• He knows Leon likes Ibuki's music, so he's still confused as to why he didn't want Taka to come.

• Is it that he's EMBARRASSED to the seen here with Taka?

• No, surely not...

• But then...why are they so far away from the crowd? And so close to the door?

• Maybe...maybe Leon IS embarrassed of him. And wants to keep him hidden away from Ibuki's fans...

• While he wallows, Ibuki makes her way on stage and the crowd goes wild - even Leon gives a little woot.

• She (crudely) welcomes the crowd and gets the party started with her favourite song:

• I Pushed Out the Baby, Yet I Have No Idea Who the Father Is.

• Interesting song choice...

• Then the song begins.

• Oh.

• My.

• God!

• Leon twists around to catch Taka's face freeze in horror at the lyrics of the song, grinning cheekily at him.

• 'I tried to warn you!'

• Taka's lost all brain function as he tries to come to terms with the...the...god, the FILTH and DEGRADING COMMENTS Ibuki is 'singing'.

• Leon can only laugh and decides to enjoy himself - jumping up and down, shouting the lyrics word perfect as his boyfriend's mind melts behind him.

• He knows his time here is limited - which is why he made sure they hung back so didn't get stuck in the crowd and could head straight out when Taka says the word.

• So he might as well enjoy the time he gets to be here, right?

• By the time the song ends, he turns around to talk into Taka's ear.

• 'You wanna head off?'

• 'N-no. I-I still need to support her. And...and I'm sure it'll get better.'

• Oh sweet sweet child. Pure, innocent Taka. How wrong you are.

• Each song gets worse and worse and Leon, despite loving it, knows Taka is trying his hardest not to hate it.

• But the boy is dying inside.

• After six songs, each one with finishing with Leon asking if they should leave and Taka refusing, Leon finally makes the call.

• 'Hey, I'm not feeling so good. Can we go, babe?'

• They both know its a lie. Leon's perfectly fine.

• But Taka laps up the lie.

• 'Of course, let's go back.'

• Slipping out the door together, Leon sees the tension in Taka's shoulder loosen immediately, the boy not even pretending not to be relieved now he's out of sight.

• But he does try SO HARD to find SOMETHING good to say about the show.

• 'I...I thought her...um...hair looked nice.'

• 'Yeah, it was good huh?'

• 'Mm. Very...bright.'

• Leon can't help but smirk at the deadly serious look on Taka's face at his 'compliments'.

• But he doesn't say anything, just squeezes his hand lovingly.

• And much to Taka's dismay Leon keeps singing the opening song for a few days after.

• And that means it'll inevitably get stuck in HIS head too!

• (Bonus scene - Junko dares him to sing that song at a class party about six months later, thinking he'll flush and panic.

• But no. Our Taka gets up and performs his ASS off!)

[republictrooper]

Thoughts on S3E3 of Discovery

There’s an argument that this episode tied up a lot of plot elements far, far too neatly, but you know what? I’m not going to be one of the people making that argument, because with how horrible life is right now, it is just way too damn nice to have a show that says, screw it, everything more or less turns out as ok as it can sometimes. Even in darkness, there is light, and life, and the possibility of forgiveness.

As far as more spoilery stuff goes... Listen, I still kinda ship Mylvia, but I can’t hate Book/Burnham even a little bit. That have a chemistry and a witty repartee that is just to DIE for. Michael lovingly mocking him (Sorry Michael, he’s right about Grudge tho) and having him wrapped around her little finger but also trusting him with her life and the life of her new family. Book trusting her implicitly in return and unable to deny her anything but still being just a hint of roguish all the same. Their whole thing on the ship where yes, technically they aren’t romantic YET but the vibe is still Michael bringing her boyfriend to meet the family for the first time and Mirror Georgiou being Mom-like and sizing up her daughter’s new beau and whew. I was a little disappointed when he left at the end of the episode. I mean yeah, obviously he’s coming back, but I was hoping he just decide to stick around on the ship, even if not as a member of Starfleet.

Honestly, the family themes were so lovely. Michael hugging everyone. Michael and Tilly talking in the ship Corridor. The final thing where Saru and Michael stood side by side on the bridge and Michael said she didnt need to go down and visit earth because her place was here with Saru I am so glad they’ve made up and become surrogate siblings it’s so wonderful ;_;

I do find the way Michael’s storyline is shaping to be intriguing. Georgiou becomes the Devil on her shoulder, trying to pry her away from Starfleet after that year apart caused her to drift, and Saru trying to bring her back home. Georgiou has more Charisma on that front, but I believe in Michael. The storyline would admittedly probably be landing a bit better if we got an episode or two detailing what she did in that year of waiting instead of a short montage,yes, but with only 12 episodes on deck, I can understand why they glossed over it and I trust the story team made the best choice they could under the circumstances. 

I love Adira on a basic level. Smartass tech whiz kid is still a fun archetype, and I LOVE that they’re somehow bringing out Paul’s fatherly side??? When is he gonna break the news to Hugh that they’re dads now anyway? I wonder how the whole Trill thing worked out? Judging by Riker’s reaction, Humans can’t really carry Trills for a long period, IIRC? But I suppose either Adira’s young age or advanced medical technology might have helped that a bit, to be fair.

So on one hand, I am happy the NB person is an actual human and not the usual “Well, Aliens have a different concept of Gender” thing. On the other hand, weren’t they referred to as she pretty much every time it came up this episode? I suppose it’s possibly Adira is a she/they NB, or even just a she NB, but I feel like if you’re gonna hype up their status as NB, you should do a better job of explaining exactly what their deal is in the first episode, unless you get people confused and dismayed about the whole thing. Right now it’s unclear whether they’re flexible on their pronouns, or just getting casually misgendered. 

Hopefully the next episode will clarify that a bit, since it does look Adira-centric, or at least dealing directly with their symbiont.

The whole Earth storyline was... pretty wonderful, actually. Not only do we get Expanse echos of Belters vs. Earthers, we get Starfleet actually getting 2 sides to sit down and discuss things. It got a little bothsidesy when it was clear Earth was pretty much completely in the wrong, but I appreciate that it let talking WORK for once. It’s nice to escape to a universe where just talking works and gets people help. Hopefully its the first step in getting an earth that can open back and maybe be ready to rejoin the Federation when Discovery gets it back in working order.

It was also really nice to see the bridge crew down on earth. We’ve seen them all in the background, and they’ve deserved to step out into the light for a long time now, and they’re all so wonderful. 

I’m relieved that it looks pretty obvious now that we’re going for a PTSD/Trauma storyline for poor Keyla as opposed to a “Control in the implant” storyline, if only because the former has a much higher chance of her surviving. Let Joann and Keyla comfort each other and grow as people and kiss, Discovery. You owe them that. >:[

Anyway, other than the concerns about Adira’s exact gender identity vis-a-vis the advertisements trumpeting them as ST’s first NB Character, I loved the episode. Season 3 of Discovery, for whatever flaws it may have, continues to be the type of wonderful comfort food I was craving during this year. 

Also: Captain Saru is my favorite Captain.

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #450

Top Ten Characters with the Best Star Trek: The Next Generation Episodes

As I’m writing this, it’s officially Star Trek: Discovery day; the first episode of the new season is up on Netflix and ready to watch. Given how little time I manage to find for watching anything that I want to watch, I’m cautiously optimistic that I can get to see it this weekend, but we’ll see; my lovely wife might want to finally catch up with Star Trek: Picard first, which for some reason she never finished. Regardless, I’m excited, and I wanted to write about Star Trek again.

The new Star Trek series have been a bit of a roller coaster, because whilst they’ve both generally been very good, they’ve certainly had their odder and more controversial moments, and neither of them has consistently felt like classic Trek. If I had to be critical, I’d argue that there are plenty of darker adult-tinged sci-fi shows at the moment, including ones set in space, but not that many that follow the day-to-day travails of a starship crew, which as always been Trek’s raison d'être. However, both shows have succeeded in giving us some compelling stories and – especially in the case of Discovery – a fantastic cast of new characters to celebrate. Great characterisation has been the cornerstone of Trek since the beginning, and no doubt one of the reasons why it still resonates to this day, from the “Holy Trinity” of Kirk, McCoy, and Spock, through to the wonderful and insanely empathetic Saru in Discovery and Captain Sexpot Rios in Picard. The fact that we’re now in a new time period, with no established history to try to tie the narrative to, means Discovery 3 is in a great place to give us some great new stories.

Anyway, to celebrate all of this – the new season of Discovery and my overall love of Star Trek characters – I’ve decided to go back to the Next Generation well and talk about just that: characters. TNG famously hit its stride when it started focusing each story through the lens of the different characters on the show, so that we tended to get a “Worf episode” or a “Riker episode”; even the best eps, the biggest and most epic, really had a tendency to hone in on one or two characters specifically, such as the all-time classic “The Best of Both Worlds” really being about Picard and Riker, or “Yesterday’s Enterprise” being a much-belated Tasha Yar episode.

But which characters have the best episodes? That is, if you know an episode is focused on a particular character, how likely is it that it’s going to be a belter? Can you reasonably say one character was better served than another in terms of the quality of “their” episodes? Well, yes. Yes you can. That’s this list. That’s the whole thing.

So this list is basically which characters have the best episodes, or are more likely to. It’s not a list of my favourite characters, or even really a list of the best episodes overall; it’s just, well, who got to chew scenery the most on the bridge, basically. Now, I really feel like I should end this blurb with an appropriate Star Trek quote, but I must have used “Make it so” and “Engage” before, so I’m not sure what else to say.

May the Force be with you, I guess.

Picard: Yes, of course; he’s the star, he’s the stand-out actor of the bunch, he gets the best episodes. If it focuses on the captain, you can rest assured you’re in for a treat. Whether it’s an epic mythology-enhancing saga or – even better – a slower, sadder meditation on life, Picard’s episodes are engaging. Chortle. Also if there’s room for a classic Picard Monologue, all the better; I don’t know if you’ve noticed this about Patrick Stewart, but the guy can chew scenery. Key episodes: The Best of Both Worlds, The Drumhead, The Hidden Light

Worf: Worf’s complex backstory offers a lot of opportunities for great stories, with the caveat that pretty much all of them focus on Klingon history or the contrast between his heritage and his place in Starfleet. Issues of familial loyalty rub up against quasi-Shakespearean dynastic dramas, often with high adventure. You can assume a Worf ep is a good one, despite the fact that quite a few of them are also about Alexander. Key episodes: Sins of the Fathers, Redemption, Birthright

Data: everyone’s second-favourite emotionless nerd on Star Trek, Data’s eps are almost uniformly great, and often poke at what it means to be alive. There may be a bit of ground retrod as we examine the notion of humanity, or sentience, or emotion, but his episodes are always interesting, and often very funny, and Brent Spiner is a continuing delight. Key episodes: The Measure of a Man, The Offspring, Brothers

Q: is it cheating to include a recurring guest star? Maybe, but I don’t care. John de Lancy is just phenomenal as Q, one of the best Trek characters, and so good he became a My Little Pony. He’s arch, he’s hilarious, he can take the show into new directions; he raises questions of fate, or of the concept of divinity; and underneath it all there’s a malevolent streak, a genuine sense of danger exemplified in his first appearance. Pairs very well with Picard, naturally. I didn’t like the Robin Hood episode, though. Key episodes: Deja Q, Encounter at Farpoint, Q Who

Riker: he’s a Kirk-esque horn-dog ragamuffin with a heart of gold and a fist of steel, so there’s always a lot to love when William T. takes the helm (see what I did there?). Often issues of loyalty, or duty versus personal wishes, arise; he’s frequently putting his life on the Enterprise above his career. But he’s also a very moralistic character, so quite often he’ll be trying to do the right thing in tough circumstances. Key episodes: The Pegasus, Future Imperfect, Frame of Mind

Crusher: always a stand-out supporting character, Crusher has some great episodes focused on her too; usually quite a self-righteous sort who puts the immediate moral obligation above her own safety or duty to Starfleet, which raises lots of interesting, thorny questions. She’s a smart cookie, exemplified in the astounding Remember Me; her relationships with her son and with Picard are good to explore too. She also shagged a ghost, but let’s try to forget about that. Key episodes: Remember Me, Attached, Suspicions

Wesley: pigeonholed somewhat unfairly due to a few ropey first-season episodes, Wesley Crusher is actually an interesting character whose stand-out storylines offer a good deal of nuance and intrigue, as well as exciting hi-jinks, insights into the Federation, and – should you go that far – weird magic Jedi stuff. He gets a nice romance with Ashley Judd, we unpeel his relationship with Picard over multiple episodes, and the bloom comes off the rose in spectacular fashion when he gets to Starfleet Academy. Wil Wheaton was a good young actor and was sadly underserved by the show, but at least we get these eps. Key episodes: The Game, Final Mission, The First Duty

Pulaski: say whaaat? Yes, she’s only in the show for five minutes, but Doctor Pulaski gets a few crackers under her belt in that time. A bit like Crusher would later, she often excels when standing up to authority and presenting herself as a moral arbiter. Interestingly, she’s not always right, and it’s a fun dance to watch. She’s also been round the block a bit, adding facets to her relationships with other characters, particularly Riker. And, of course, she flirts with a bunch of polygons when Geordi and Data cock up the Holodeck. Key episodes: Elementary, Dear Data, Unnatural Selection, The Icarus Factor

Troi: sadly suffering in the face of a bunch of soppy romances and storylines involving her mother that are, shall we say, an acquired taste, Troi still gets some good stuff, mostly later in the series’ run. Taking her out of her comfort zone, making her a spy or an investigator, or giving her some proper dramatic meat, works wonders. Also once she was a cake. Key episodes: Face of the Enemy, Eye of the Beholder, Dark Page

LaForge: oh, Geordi. I love Georgi, but he kinda got done dirty a little bit. Always an interesting and dependable secondary character, unfortunately the bulk of his episodes as a primary character tend to revolve around him being a bit of a jerk or a bit of a creep. Obviously the most heinous sin is making a computer program based on a real person and then, well, trying to shag it, but he also has a tendency to be a dick to anyone new in Engineering. He’s even a bit of a dick to Scotty! I sometimes think the writers never quite had a handle on Geordi’s character; is he a young tech genius with poor social skills? Is he supposed to be arrogant? A wannabe lothario who’s just really unlucky? Anyway, like I say, I still love the guy to bits, and LeVar Burton is fantastic, but of all the main ensemble, his are the flakiest solo episodes. That said, the three listed here are all belters. Key episodes: The Next Phase, The Enemy, Relics

Anyway. There we are. I’ve still, as of going “to press”, not watched Discovery season 3, and my wife’s still not watched the end of season 1 of Picard. Any day now…!

[getseriouser]

20 THOUGHTS: Deck the Hall, his jokes are folly

RIGHT, well, been some sort of seven days.

The highs of celebrating one of the most exciting players in our generation giving up the game suddenly midseason, through to an awful piece of radio causing nothing but further grief in its wake 

The footy is pretty good as well, or is it, because we’re changing the whole game so much it will resemble bat tennis come the end of the year are we not? 

Lots to get into, all this redundant intro is just holding back the inevitable..

 1.       Let us start with the infamous Barry Hall joke last week. This will be of no surprise to most of you. Firstly, Barry’s comments, yeah not funny, came from nowhere. Yes, Liz Ellis, from nowhere, but we’ll get to you soon Liz let me assure you!

The background I want to touch on first is that Erinn’s pregnancy has often been discussed on Triple M when Leigh has been on air. On numerous occasions the radio has got Erinn on the air for a quick chat, and last Friday again was no exception. Leigh has shared some of his biggest moments on air with the listeners, from the calamity of their wedding plans on the breakfast show through to updates with the Erinn and the baby’s progress as he joined the football team this year.

2.       Next is that, and we don’t need to address Barry, he had a shocker, we know this, but Leigh was asked by Mark Howard first for the latest ‘milestone’ if you like in the lead up to the big day, to which the sweep indeed had happened just that day, and for those who care to realise, it was then Nathan Brown who then took it up to the cliff’s edge. Mark Howard opened the bowling by asking Leigh “have you had the old stretch”, Leigh at one point then said, “I can’t really explain it…” either unsure or uncomfortable, and then old Browny really got the wheels in motion by “explain it, talk about your wife’s sweep, go on…” and so he did, apologised on the run for being so honest about it, Barry then went with his zinger, and here we now are.

3.       Barry doesn’t make the joke nothing is even mentioned. That’s the truth. Leigh has copped it since for his explanation, his description. Two things, not only was the way Leigh described it honest if somewhat off the cuff, but to be real it is what that procedure is – it need not be taboo. Sure, others may have found it uncomfortable (Leigh’s comments, not Barry, we aren’t touching on Barry today), but to suggest Leigh is at fault for what brought this all to a head in the first place, which is Hall’s joke, if you can even call it a joke, is farcical.

4.       And before we take aim at some individuals to end this topic, can I just say, some perspective please, for all those who enjoy being offended, and seek offense out so they can proclaim they are offended – little Noah arrived Sunday, he is a gem, he is a little star and maybe one day he’ll pull on his dad’s red, white and black and may he never know about a stupid fallout to some dumb radio only a couple days before his arrival.

5.       Ok, so, who’s first up for a lashing. Liz. Right. So she went national on her Sunday morning TV spot, and she’s accruing some poor form in this area, by having a whack at Leigh for talking about his wife. Yes, Triple M, its culture, its style, up for conjecture, no doubt. But as I’ve touched on, Erinn was on the radio herself, and then for Howard and Brown  spurring the conversation on, if you’re going to whack Leigh for a moronic link between his comments warranting Hall’s brainfade, then you have to go back a further step – if Leigh wasn’t asked, he wouldn’t have said a thing, and I’d be probably talking about Ross Lyon at this point or something. If we’re going to talk about sanctioning people for being silly on a national broadcast, I’m sure there’s a candidate in the mirror at home, Liz.

6.       Now onto my new mate Darren Levin. I don’t know him, he mustn’t be that important. Nor am I, granted, but still nor is he. But I like two of his tweets from last Friday. I’ll give you the second one first, which is “I’ve listened to the Triple M audio and *everyone* should be sacked. Why were they even talking about it in the first place?”. Wow, ok, settle down. But only minutes earlier he tweeted, “CAN SOMEONE PLS TELL ME WHAT HE SAID? IT’S KILLLLLLING ME”. Now Darren. No. We aren’t sacking everyone, don’t be so alarmist. But if you’re going to be so curious and dirty for something that your desperation for the audio is killlllllllllling you, then you’ve got larger issues mate. I do hope you can find a way out of this sadness. Best wishes.

7.       And lastly, Grant Thomas. Now mate, Grant, old wobblearse Thommo. Let’s go the the audio:

“I am a big fan of Leigh’s but I think Joey should resign. I wouldn’t sack them, that’s the easy way out. Because one man’s been sacked I would think hang on I was actually culpable in this and if it hadn’t have been for my stupidity poor old Barry wouldn’t have said what he said. It’s at least his responsibility to suspend himself for a period of time to make a statement.”

Facts are important here, and clearly the failed Saints ex-coach has gone large on his former player not knowing or caring for the facts. Thommo has form on Twitter and his podcast, deliberately being controversial to spike an interest from the public he otherwise wouldn’t have. Perhaps he suffered a bad head knock from one of his chins when one day he was far too vigorous when nodding. Who knows.

8.       I’m happy to move on.

9.       State of the game, this one continues to infuriate. Kinda feel like this year’s premiership race is just getting in the way, the sooner the season ends the sooner we can all preach at the church of reform and the summit to work out the gazillion rule changes to save the sport from certain doom can take place. Um. Do we need to send Guide Dogs Australia down to Town Hall? With the return of a nine-game round after the byes period, last week we had, and let’s be balanced here, Thursday night, cracker, Friday night, belter, all four Saturday games meandered between just fine to really engaging tight games, Sunday gave us one lopsided upset but a high scoring spectacle and a two-point thriller. Steve Hocking, yes you man, baby, bathwater, don’t do it mate, step back from the ledge.

10.   Whilst we’re on mistakes, Susan Alberti. Not her, she’s lovely no doubt, even if she does make a right mess of security doing their jobs, especially when they wouldn’t know her from any other AFLW spectator, but she’s been awarded Victorian of the Year. And well done to her for all the work she does. But how has Neale Daniher, in all the years since he started his crusade, miss out on being awarded Victorian of the Year? Mike Brady got it last year. Yes, the ‘Up There Cazaly’ guy. Yet Neale is overlooked. Who’s in charge? Sir James Gobbo I hear is the chair or something of the Victoria Day council. Now Gobbo. Fix it. Neale’s a legend. Don’t go past Go, don’t collect $200, Gobbo, just fix it.

11.   Who else? Gary Ablett and Patrick Dangerfield. Yep, not good enough. I think they’ve been getting tips off Zali Stegall. Downhill skiers the lot of them. Numerous passages of play against the Dogs where they’d get into a strong sprint when they had possession, but, turnover, the Bulldogs player that was chasing them, turns and burns, ends up being part of the scoring chain uncontested whilst the Brownlow medallists are sauntering miles back assuming one of the non-Brownlow medallists will do their dirty work for them. Lazy? Selfish? Dunno, you chose your own adjective. Chose all of them if you like, don’t let me pressure you Nathan Brown style.

12.   Melbourne footy club. Hmm. Let’s not worry about which parcel of Yarra Park land you want to train on, how about just screw your heads on and don’t let St Kilda embarrass you on your home ground. The Saints had no right to escape from a loss to the Gold Coast, yet made you all look like fruits, stewed fruits. I have no idea of the analogy here, other than to say I’m reasonably confident stewed fruits don’t make the finals, and you did it last year Demons, go on, lose the unlosable finals spot again, it would be as the kids say ‘so lit’.

13.   We mentioned the Suns, which players have the Gold Coast improved? Jack Martin was supposed to be a gun, he isn’t, Ainsworth's played 27 games but so what, Touk Miller is at 74 games but wouldn't get a gig for North Ballarat, David Swallow's had injuries, so we'll give him that, Aaron Hall has played 100 games but we'd forgotten about him, then there's Day, Lonergan, Sexton, even Peter Wright doesn’t scare anyone at 44 games. Jarryd Lyons may be the only improved player on their list. Don’t give them concessions, you can give them an all-star team, the issue is that talent dissipates once it lands at Coolangatta airport. The Logies were ok in Melbourne, goes up to the Gold Coast, looks like a Channel 31 production. The Gold Logie winner doesn’t even have a show. Staggering.

14.   Quick change of sports but I’ve got my back up and I’m running downhill with the wind – so Aaron Finch is in form is he? An 84, 68* and 172 in his last three matches, all in twenty 20s. The Aussies more broadly, two big wins from two in the Zimbabwe T20 tri-series. Hang on. No. Who the hell cares about some T20 games in Zimbabwe in July when there's a 50-over World Cup 12 months from now and in the most recent series of that format, in England, five minutes ago, we got sodomised five nil. Don't want to hear about how Finchy or the rest of the team looks great in a hit and giggle in Harare, it’s like if old mate brought a high-pressure hose to Hiroshima in August 1945 saying a quick rinse is all this place needs. Don’t wanna hear about it Finchy, get some runs in a longer format and I’ll reconsider.

15.   Oh, do we want to mention the nation of the Philippines before we get onto some other stuff? How Chris Goulding walks away with only some bruises from a dozen men punching, kicking, stomping, hitting him with chairs, is so fortunate. But, obviously the Philippine basketballers can fight as well as they can play basketball. Right mugs the lot of them. But if you’re stuck in an alleyway between confronting an angry Filipino basketballer or a sleepy field mouse, I’d be running away from the field mouse, their teeth are surprisingly sharp.

16.   Cyril. How’d you get this far down the list champion? So his Dad had heart issues I believe last year (I’ll stand corrected in case I get a call from Liz Ellis), and basically, unlike Dayne Beams who could get a trade to a new club based in the city where his ailing Dad resides, Cyril’s old man lives in Darwin, and if Tassie can’t get a team yet, then Darwin is way behind them. So, for a player who has always said he wouldn’t be a league footballer too long after turning 30 (he is a couple weeks shy of turning 29), ‘Junior Boy’ has called it a day a year or two early to be around his family. He was this close to doing this last offseason, Shaun Burgoyne essentially twisted his arm to go one more year, a knee injury and then officially putting a line through it now brings us to here.

17.   We’ve all seen the record the last couple of days, but four premierships, one of six in that famous dynasty to be a part of all of them (Burgoyne has four, but one was at Port). Three All-Australians, don’t forget the Norm Smith in 2015, but that he was also so influential in turning the game in the ’08 granny as a teenager. For freakish, athletic ability, be it leaping, tackling, borking, sprinting, unparalleled in our time.

18.   Want to give a shout out to the Tiwi Islands. A series of many islands, two larger ones though, Melville and Bathurst Islands, about 1000 people each. Melville Island though, tiny, tiny place, yet it has produced 3 Norm Smith medallists out of the 37 to receive the award: Cyril in 2015, Michael Long in 1993, and Cyril’s uncle Maurice in 1982. Not only from the same island, but the same family to boot.

19.   On that family, Maurice Rioli, South Fremantle and Richmond superstar of the 1980s, uncle to Cyril, great uncle to Daniel, his son, Maurice Jr, he would be the 2020 draft but already playing cracking senior footy for St Mary's in the NT as a teenager. Will be a gun first round father son pick to Richmond or Fremantle and the lineage will continue. His cousin Willie also, looking fairly good for the Eagles too, who is Ronnie Burns cousin on his mother's side as well. What a family!

20.   Lastly, World Cup, I’m as confident that Vladimir Putin had a hand in ‘organising’ the five-nil result for the hosts against Saudi Arabia as I am Liz Ellis having another shocker this Sunday morning on the telly. So all this talk of “its coming home” from those with bad teeth and confused by the concept of the shower, the fact that it’s merely Sweden and then Croatia in the way to a first World Cup final since 1966, don’t underestimate the nerve, or is that nerve agent, of the Russian leader. Golden Boot nominees to this point:

Kane, Mbappe, Putin.

(originally published 5 July)

[slovenlyrecordings]

A ton of reviews just in courtesy of Terminal Boredom (they still hate 10" records):

ANMLS s/t LP Chilean street punko's who love to shout together - a lot and often. Reminiscent of 80's Spanish language boot-stompers Cicatriz, Eskorbuto and the like, but with added filth-blown guitars that are left tryna' cut through layers of amp cone dust and a seeping to the surface 70's rock cockpunch. The hardcore leanings and gang vocals calm a tad as the sides play on and I'm starting to hear echoes of John Reis riffage in the aptly titled "Instrumental" and the flip's opener, "V'amanos De La Ciudad". Thanks to "Pirata" they practically give you an Oi anthem at the end. Sort of a shock to see Slovenly head in this direction, as I'd expect the band to hook up with Lengua Armada, Sorry State or some other stateside stable of cellar dwellers. Is Ruleta Rusa still active? These cats should team up with them for a US stretch. Either way, I have no real knowledge of international hardcore (outside of Italy), so I'm gonna' shut up now and let you dig in on your own.(RSF)

The Cavemen "Nuke Earth" LP "Nuke Earth" is the third time these sleaze-Zealanders have been found rifling through the rubbage bins of garage shock past to toss a full platter. The best tracks within float to the surface - kinda' like pull tabs or smoke butts floating in the fetid water of a gas station squeegee bucket - and scramble about, attempting to create something along the line of a budget-punker's K-Tel collection. These cavemanish boys crank things off with "Lust For Evil" a tune that's got one boot planted firmly in the Oblivians camp and the other can be found kicking the 'Tards squarely in the gonads. Leather-jacketed riff warriors, hopped up on CPC (get it?!) and unleashing dueling leads and hostile vibes aplenty. "Janey" lightens things a tinge with some boozy balladry and organ rottens the rock during tunes like "Batshit Crazy" and "Concrete Town" in a way that could bring both Lost Sounds lovers, Spits fanatics and tattooed MCD car-show greasers lovingly together for a sock hop. Duster-huffers will rejoice to the dum-dum Dictator clunk of "Chernobyl Baby" and "Thug" which reeling in a meaty Gizmos/Penetrators spew. "Dont Wanna Hang" strips veneers in guitar frazzle and New Bomb Turk velocity. It's like having the Las Vegas Shakedown start up again, right there on your very own turntable! The parts may be aftermarket, but there's gonna' be some paunchy yet pleased turkeys around these forums real soon. (RSF)

ぐうたら狂 Gūtara KYŌ s/t 10” Damn, this here is a firecracker! What lies within these grooves are obliterated Teengener-ized riffs, and demented psycho-wails, all walloping upside the punk velocity of something akin to prime 80's Gauze. "Drive" got a lead that's reminiscent of a garage slop take of an old Soundgarden tune (I'm dead serious!) and it's pokin' out of a deteriorating Stalin bootleg. "Daydream" and "It's Gotta Be You" ride along hardcore gallops, rendered futile due to some of the gnarliest production filth since Tim Kerr was knob twisting. The shining light in all this scree would be the soulful belter "Romance" that kicks off the flip. This gold star doom rocker features strained crooning and a truly putrid solo that's - of course - blown all to snuff. It wouldn't feel outta' place on that 'Tokyo Flashback' sampler at all. Fo' real tho' - this platter could clear the sinuses of the most jaded of High Rise fan. Hell, Gutara Kyo is good enough to make me overlook the fact these songs are pressed up on the lamest of all formats (the dreaded 10") with a goddamn dumb 45 hole. Hey Pete, knock it off! All snark aside, I'd still tell folks to buy this, even if it was only available on floppy disc. Scum Stats: 100 copies pressed up on red and black splatterwax.(RSF)

Hand & Leg s/t LP Greek duo doing their best impersonation of that gluey/Krauty/fuzz-buzzy sound that the French has dominated for the past decade. This co-ed bass and drums act strips their music down to the bleached bone, leaving the sorta' repetitive weed-wacker chops and threadbare beats that Wire fans should froth over. Standout tracks like "Dogshit Country" lighten the low plod load a smidge, letting the high strings shine as if Godheadsilo was taking on a Volt tune. "Bloody Hole" closes us shop in a full two minutes of tone drone and irritated wail before the "song" proper takes flight within a spattered cacophony of pie-plate thwack and chanted vocals. Soothing to one's skull as This Heat. Dig yer feet in the sand, people. Scum Stats: 100 on clear vinyl.(RSF)

Häxxan "The Magnificent Planet Of Alien Vampiro II"" LP Nasally Israeli psych-boogie, for the moderne youth market. The press release mentions playing with Ty and them Fuzz comparisons are pretty on point in these here grooves. They also trot out bratty, childlike pop tantrums that should speak to the Burgerooligans that follow these updates as well. What you mostly get on this is quiet/loud dynamics pushing out a Black Angels/Frijid Pink hybrid. There's quite a bit of local flavor in their guitar pyrotechnics, so world-beat freaks and psych aficionados should perk up. Most of it makes for a fine fried background rock, but nothing is really sticking to my maw. A couple of tracks do stand out - "Circle Of Quantum" and "Snakes In My Hair" - both nearly seared my eyebrows off like the best moments of C.A. Quintet "Trip Thru Hell" with swirling, woozy leads and vocals lost in the arid desert wind. The whole ride is easy to digest and makes for decent afternoon accompaniment, but gotta' say I wanted more like those two aforementioned tracks. Better than the countless Ty & Dwyer clones we've had to weather so far. Better than the King Gizzard knock-offs to come. Let's just be happy today.(RSF)

Νόμος 751 (Nomos 751) s/t LP Electroshok-rockers that clatter along like a Grecian Metal Urbain. Drum machine robot riddims and twisted rockabilly riffs fighting against various space trash splatter and the occasional Spits-take on skate punk. There's a Grande Triple Alliance vibe rippling underneath that's hard to shake as well as more than a couple nods in the early Red Mass direction I use to enjoy (long before that act stank it up with Mac Demarco's hair-footed guest spots). I should ramble more about the tracks involved, but my janky-assed computer's 'bout to crash for yet another twenty minute interval - so I'm just gonna' go pogo about like some metaloid mutant instead. Give 'er a go!(RSF)

Proto Idiot "Leisure Opportunity" LP How the hell did the Hipshakes connection escape me?! Proto Idiot is way less Oblivian and way more Adverts than the 'shakes ever were. This here's a jagged pop-gone-puke to tunes like "Better Way Of Life" and "Angry Vision" - the sorta' stuff Jaytard did solo and that Useless Eater kid slung about. Comparisons to Devoto-era Buzzcocks seems apt, and there's a tad of 'Chairs Missing' up in here too. Honestly, either this is a love letter to the entire UK punker past catalog or I'm just an asshole who thinks so 'cuz of the English accent. Hey - it's the GG King Of The UK! Still, I'm perplexed that I never knew the Hipshakes were related. I'm bad at this game. I'd way rather party with this Proto Idiot than those stuffy shirted Protomartyr's out there. Good Fun. 'Nuff said. Scum Stats: 100 on green vinyl.(RSF)

Subsonics "Flesh Colored Paint" LP In this time of reunions around the corner for every wang-dang-doodle of a band that falls under the Budget Rock blanket, it shocks me to no end that Atlanta's Subsonics have never even given up. I've evidently been in the dark for nearly a decade (Sorry Slovenly/Sorry Subsonics.) as "Flesh Colored Paint" is their eighth full length. The band continues to do what they do best - muggy southern stomp filtered through Marc Bolan flutter and a Cramps-ian cha-cha heel strut. This sorta' glitter shimmer fits snugly nestled in the crotch region, somewhere between American Death Ray, Danny & The Darleans and so on. They've always been in my peripheral and I've witnessed them bring quite a solid live revue in my times, but they've never seemed tough enough to break me during my boozy-fueled heyday. NOW - on the other hand - being older, wiser and actually warming up to the voice of Brian Ferry - this stuff is pretty damn sharp! I'm fully locked down on the track "Begging Hands" here, which proves beyond any doubt that these swingers are as big of fans of Radley Metzger's 'Score' skinflick as I am. Elsewhere they beat on the traps like a Black Time light, less set on grate and more on the grind. "Die A Little", "Cold Cold World" and "In The Black Spot" ride in the Velvet's lil' Reed wagon, possibly playing at the wrong pitch. "I Must Be Poisoned" and "I'm The Most Popular Boy In Town" are cut from the same girl group worship and sequenced catsuit that Kid Congo stitches together with his Pink Monkey Birds. "Permanent Thaw" fires off that Black-Angels-Death violin scrape along its woozy train track clack and tunes like "Why Should Anybody Care At All" feature squirrelly, ragged soloing, as if front-mouth and string-slinger Clay Reed was dry humping his gee-tar on the studio floor (and chances are, he did). A good party platter for the red eyed sect. Now while we're at it, let's wax up them early WorryBird CDs!(RSF)

The Monsieurs "Deux” LP Knowing how much I loved Tunnel Of Love - one of the finest bombastic blowouts to cross my blurred vision in the early aughts - I feel like a lamestain for sleeping on this act for so long. Well, I fixed that over the past few months. Here I am, warming by the fire during this wintry bluster and ingesting another fine Andy MacBain release. Between this stuff and the Andy California EP, he's keeping Slovenly's Gladiators on the garbage rock radar (not that they ever really fell of it in the first place). The opener "Burning Flame" and "I Will Run" are straight up crash/bang shards of garage violence and if you said to me these were lost Tunnel Of Love tracks, I wouldn't argue it one bit. Things chill and take pop-ier turns within tunes like "Suburban Girls" and "At The Hop". Not saying cutesy levels of pop, but there's a definite whaff of catchy albeit retched perfection ala' Nobunny or Ramones girl group grabs. The femmes on deck keep Andy's cock-swingin' machismo at bay, adding great touches of Toody-esque back ups, forceful fuzzed power chords and abusive can bashing. "Get Right Get Ready" is rears a Karp riff and shoves it, clawing smack into the face of some delirious Dollrod slop. That's not a bad place to be - crawling around in a metallic Danny Kroha muck. Wrapping this fast lil' fucker up is "My War", which brings all the above elements to a broil, splattering about like a scorched Love cover turned beat-punk brat psych and going gloriously wrong. A wooly ride. Will ride again. Scum Stats: 100 copies on orange.(RSF)