#and kitty boys like gabito

[ls-daydreams]

~ WIP Intro ~

“[...] believing a whole-ass person doesn’t exist over the idea that maybe your son lied to you is fucking stupid. Like, you can hear it, right?” “[...] You never lied. You were a good, quiet boy who studied and liked physics and spent all his time with his baby sister. I’m sorry that’s boring to you, but that’s who you were and that’s all that ever was.” “That you know of.” [...] “Then where is he? If he’s real and you hid him from me, where is he now? And if he’s so wonderful and smart and amazing, why did you hide him? Why did he leave you?” He didn’t, Mal thinks. Not really. “He’s in Arjoy. [...] I found him, when you had the surgery and I stayed at the Poly dorms. You know how I know it was him?” She waits with bated breath. “He turned the light off when I walked in. He didn’t want me to see his face. But he fucked me like he loved me.”

summary: Set in the tiny fictional town of Plain River, the story follows 25-year-old Malachi Azevedo as he tries to regain his memories after an "accident" erases the first 18 years of his life. Stuck caring for his ever-ailing mother, plagued by intrusive thoughts of self-harm, and constantly feeling like an impostor living in the wrong skin, Malachi latches onto The Void - a familiar voice in his head - to cope. He’s convinced The Void was someone important to his former self and tries to find him despite everyone around him denying such a person ever existed. It's this desperate search, along with his fight for independence, which lead Mal down a rabbit hole of love, violence, and hidden truths that force him to finally reconcile with the person he used to be.

♥ deets under the cut ♥

genre: psychological, crime, mystery, romance

themes & tropes: nature vs. nurture, familial relationships (and the generational trauma that come with them), the illusion of choice, small town vs. vast city, morally gray characters, sun & moon couple, childhood friends to lovers, mutual pining, murder gays 💜

(some) characters: Mal (the protag; the sad, troubled, tragic, pathetic, perpetually pining gay), Gabe (the caring, gentle sweetness posing as a cold and entitled smartass), Lu (the long-suffering younger sister, the one forced into independence), Carmen (the Mother, everything’s always about her), Olivia (the ruthless, relentless teen), Kai (the overeager energizer bunny with a big fat crush on-), Michael (the loner nerd rich boy)

status: currently writing draft 1 (it’s gonna be a long one, folks)

warnings: lots of swearing, blood, gore, death, attempted suicide, abuse, kidnapping, amnesia, mentions of SA

more details and links on WIP page

This is my baby and my pride and joy, the story that made me want to be a writer 5 centuries ago. It’s been through many iterations and I’ve never actually finished it, but Mal won’t release my mind to do other stuff until I get him to the finish line this time, so whatever he wants he gets.

The places I’ve been, people I’ve met, and stories I’ve heard from them or even experienced myself make up about 80% of this story. The other 20% is just a nice padding of murder and requited love to make everything worse for Mal and more fun for the reader.

In the following weeks I’ll be posting some character profiles and playlists, snippets and other stuff~ If any of this piques your interest and you want to stay updated on my progress and this story, let me know and I’ll make a proper taglist!

For now, tagging the lovely @marinesocks​  💜