#and let's take in consideration this is only Spectre and No Time To Die never happened

[starkholme]

"Is this really what you want?" her fingers closed around the edge of the table, she couldn't belive what he was saying "Living in the shadows? Hunting, being hunted? Always alone?"

"I don't stop to think about it." His voice was sharp, although Karen recognized the same lie she tells herself everyday right there.

Agent Castle is an alluring enigma to her, yet his eyes can't hide the truth from her.

Frank Castle worked long enough as an especial agent to know how it ends: Maria and Bill were the proof, he couldn't let anyone interfere anymore. The last two missions weren't the easiests ones and every scar left was a reminder of how he'd be better off on his own.

They're gone, and he has to live with it.

Even tough his age was making him "less sane", according to his fellow Agent Madani, he'd never thought of stopping what he does. And even with simple missons through the months follow the arrival of the new Boss, he's feeling it might be the time where he finally learns how to live it with his grief. Until, a letter from former FBI hacker and now one of his best friends, David Lieberman, arrived at his doorstep alerting him that the Organization is back again.

Frank is send into the Ma Gnucci Ring, and soon realizes the Organization he destroyed alongside his best friend Bill was rising from sketch with the presence of every member from big mafias around the world. And one man is the main head of it: Jigsaw.

Although he's willing to go after who's behind the Jigsaw identity, Frank didn't anticipated the existance of Karen Page: a journalist, friends with the double Agent Urich, and knows the secrets behind the Organization more than she appears to know. They have to trust each other to survive, and somehow find they're much more alike than what it seems.

Kastle but make it 007 Spectre AU

PS: In this scenario I envisioned Maria is Vesper Lynd and Karen is Madeleine Swann. Vesper was Craig's Bond's first love in the series and he still griefs her, while Madeleine is his other chance as well she's his last love.

Things I want to mention even though this is already long af:

PS²: I also believe Ben Ulrich would be a double agent in the past and had a friendship with Karen, so here in this Spectre scenario he can take the role "Mr. White" and ask Frank to protect Karen because "she knows too much about the Organization" but definitely knows enough to help Frank figure out things. And imagine if he asks Frank to leave him there so Kingpin can kill him so it doesn't make anything suspicious upon Karen? I'm liking this AU too much for someone who's not writing this

Ps³: Kingpin would be one of the mafia bosses working alongside Jigsaw, he'd have a clash between Agent Castle and Agent Murdock and a much nervous Department Lawyer Foggy Nelson

[atopearth]

Final Fantasy VII Remake Part 1 - Avalanche, Flower Girl & Childhood Friend (CH 1-8)

The long awaited remake!! Jessie is sooo pretty btw, I love it! I’ve always liked Jessie since the original because of how nice she was to Cloud, so it’s nice to see that they put so much effort into her looks. Biggs looks pretty cool too, but he’s such a silly guy haha. Most of the first chapter was pretty much like the demo so nothing much to say about it besides that I like the Japanese dub much more than the English haha. Btw, I’m playing on normal mode~ Barret is so aggressive and a bit annoying now that you can hear him though LOL. I have to say though, the camera is soo annoying in this game lol, it frustrates me so much. And the boss in the reactor has so much life, it was a tiring battle lol. Otherwise, great nostalgia! I still remember so well in the original when Jessie gets her leg stuck and you have to free her~ In the original, you kinda had to go to her to yourself, whereas in this remake, they force you into the scene of freeing her which is good!! Because lmao, I legit didn’t realise she was stuck in the original game and totally ignored her and went back up the elevator, and what happened?! I was stuck and couldn’t get out of the reactor without her, and I couldn’t go back to save her because it didn’t let me backtrack!! So yes, nice memories, I felt so bad though, I legit left her there to die LOL. Anyway, despite Heidegger and them contributing to the destruction of the sector, it is true that it was because of Avalanche’s actions that made all these people die or get injured, since Heidegger probably wants to pin on them how much of a terrorist they are to the masses.

Sephiroth appearing is so awkward btw, but I think what irks me is that the menacing part of him isn’t shown very well. Doesn’t help that Those Chosen By the Planet (what I think to be Sephiroth’s theme) doesn’t have the same threatening feel to it imo. Aww I felt like the train scene with Barret shooing off the Shinra people was done more seriously than the original, and I feel like it also shows how rash and sometimes naive the Avalanche group is. I felt like the scene was funnier in the original because Barret was being aggressive and scared them away lol. Anyway, not sure what those things flying around Aerith are (dementorssss!), but nice flower lol. I found it sooo cuteee how Cloud so naturally gave the flower to Tifa though, like dang, my heart swooned! Tifa is so beautiful btw~ Interesting that she rented a room for Cloud, guess it was unnecessary in the original since you’re running around everywhere already, whereas in the remake, Cloud is going to be earning money joining the neighbourhood watch (killing monsters) and doing odd jobs haha. Honestly though, seeing Barret dote on Marlene was so sweet, I always found it heartwarming how much he loved and cherished her. Lmao when she ran away from Cloud since he was a “stranger” lol. Nice to see all these different materia though, looks like it’ll be fun to try them!

Okay, the side quests were pretty useless but I guess it helped to gain experience and get me used to the combat system a bit more. Honestly though, playing as Tifa is much more fun than Cloud haha. Doesn’t help that Tifa is such a cute beauty~ Am I the only weirdo taking non-stop screenshots of her because she looks so good in every angle? LOL. When Tifa asked what kind of clothing suits her best, I wasn’t really sure, but I guess I would like to see something mature haha. I can see why Tifa would have doubts about what Avalanche is doing though. I mean, sure she agrees with their ideals and goals, but the way they’re doing it isn’t exactly the “best” way to do it since it involves a lot of casualties. So, I’m kinda glad that Cloud kinda advised her in his own way that she should really follow her heart and to not do it if she isn’t able to. Oh and that darts game at Seventh Heaven? Yeah, I sucked at it LOL. Anyway! Jessie feeling bad about the bomb she made causing such unprecedented destruction on the city is understandable, so going to grab a weaker reagent is something she’d do. Nice that she got Cloud to come along with her, but it was also pretty cute that Biggs and Wedge kinda knew what she was up to. Didn’t think about the idea of the Avalanche members having families, so knowing that Jessie seems to have a warm family that would turn on the light every night waiting for her to come home is kinda sweet yet saddening. On the other hand, that motorcycle chase lmao, I was so terrible at it, I legit nearly died hahaaha. Roche was a crazy guy man, it felt so difficult to catch up to him and deal some damage lol. Like how does he do all these crazy stuff with the motorcycle?! Honestly, it makes me think of a motorcycle version of SSX (that snowboarding game where you do tricks) because, I’m surprised he and his bike are intact lol.  Although, in a sense, it did seem easier than the original game though, I mean, I used to legit miss the targets reallyyyyyy badly in the original hahahah. But yeah, it was nice to have that mini game I guess, I just didn’t expect it right now lol. BUT, the highlight of the motorcycle chase here was definitely Jessie hugging Cloud from behind on the motorcycle and feeling so comfortable and safe with him around. I honestly felt it, but then again, who wouldn’t feel safe with Cloud?! He’s so reliable and cool!

Honestly, I never would have thought Jessie would be an actress at the Gold Saucer! That’s an interesting back story. Kinda saddening though, that when she finally got a starring role, her dad collapsed in a Mako storage (since he was a maintenance supervisor for Shinra) for half a day and got Mako poisoning, so now he’s in a comatose state. I guess it’s understandable how one thing led to another for Jessie to join Avalanche, but I feel devastated for the mother. It’s a tough life but there’s still the hope and happiness of seeing Jessie return home when she can, but…that’s not going to happen forever.. Well, well, that diversion Cloud had to do alongside Biggs and Wedge was not fun! But it was cool to see Ifrit haha. Honestly think the highlight was seeing Cloud warm up to Biggs and Wedge after this little mission, not only did he get to see that Wedge is willing to put his life on the line for Cloud even though they just hired him for these missions, he also got to see how passionate they are about their reasons for being in Avalanche. They really should count themselves lucky that another sub group of Avalanche was there to bail them out though! Anyway, Cloud smiling was so cute. Lmao when Wedge called Cloud “aniki” after the mission hahahah, it’s so adorable. I love how Cloud tells Wedge not to call him that every time he does it hahaha. And it was so cuteee when Cloud quietly said he hopes Jessie’s dad will get better soon, he cares!! It’s so sweet! 

Oh, btw LOL at the random grandma that noticed all the commotion from Cloud/Avalanche and thought it was Wutai attacking Shinra again, so she said she’d join in since she used to fight against them when she was young loll, chill grandma!! It’s quite cute how Biggs and Wedge can tell that Jessie is interested in Cloud, so sweet how they look out for Cloud instead and say she’s not serious though hahaha. Omggg, Jessie giving him a hug as extra payment for helping out on the mission was so cuteeee, I love her. She’s so forward and honest, but so cuteee. I loved how she said she’d make pizza for him. Biggs overthinking was really adorable, but Cloud telling him to prioritise resting up for tomorrow was nice to see. He has such a soft spot for them all now, it’s so heartwarming. It was so considerate and kind of Cloud to offer to listen to Tifa’s worries, I loved how casually he said it.

No idea what those spectres are, but OMG!! CLOUD PRINCESS CARRYING JESSIE?! Yes, my heart squealed🥺🥺🥺 That Shinra Middle Manager guy on the train is so passionate and loyal to them, it’s pretty admirable tbh. He’s obviously scared of Barret but he’s unafraid to voice his opinions and views to him, Shinra sure has passionate workers. I loved the jumping out of the train part!! Cloud held Tifa close and protected her🥰 On the other hand, I really didn’t need the corny part where the Shinra Middle Manager was shocked that Barret and them would protect the others on the train though, I think if we just see him being impressed and kinda acknowledging them, it would have been fine lol. Anyway, is it just me or are the normal monsters harder than the bosses?! Like seriously lol! Or maybe I’m just too reckless tbh because I legit just roll around and attack hahahah. Yes, that’s how I roll. Oh btw, I forgot to say, but I’m kinda sad that we never got to go downstairs at Seventh Heaven!! That’s like my favourite part! I loved the interactions between everyone at Avalanche there, oh well I guess… We kinda got the interactions through Jessie’s story instead I guess.

Going through Sector 5 was legit tedious lol, but it was cool to see holograms of the President and Heidegger, and the boss!! I’m not sure if I really weakened the boss by taking away the right stuff, but I just kinda took all the big bombs and some programming cores and it was relatively easy. Btw cowboy Tifa is adorableee! Aerith and Cloud reuniting at the church and squashing his flowers wasn’t as magical as it felt in the original imo (even though it was HD T_T). And I also feel like Aerith was more cooler in the original in my memory haha. Reno definitely looks better as a bunch of pixels than in HD LOL, I’m sorry Reno, you’re my favourite boy ever in FFVII but I hate his close up look here hahaha. Although I think it’s mainly because his open shirt look is very...ugly LOL. Make him cool not tacky! The Turks theme wasn’t as clicky sounding(?) as well so I think it kinda lost how cool the soundtrack was imo, but oh well~ And dang, I legit found the battle so difficult with him hahahah, I probably should have used more magic etc to deal with him but far out, his lightning attacks lol. I’m kinda sad they kicked out rolling the barrels to save Aerith from the Shinra soldiers though, I used to just let Aerith fight them, and I think it would have been cool if they let Aerith fight them, since it kinda showed that even though Aerith is physically weak, she’s still got a lot of guts and resolve to fight against people stronger than her imo. Instead, we get that stupid chandelier thing and the hand bars that had superrr clunky controls, it wasn’t fun at all! 

Cloud and Aerith talking and bonding throughout their little trip on the rooftops to escape was cute, I love how she answered that the Turks might have been after her because she would be a great SOLDIER candidate (since the work Turks does includes scouting for SOLDIER) hahaha. The princess carry Cloud did to catch Aerith when she fell was cute, but it was done so purposefully that I couldn’t like it as much as I wanted, Jessie’s one was much more natural and sweet. But it’s Aerith so I’ll take it, because dang is it beautiful~~ I wish they showed how Aerith was trying really hard to catch up to Cloud and was like out of breath by the time they got to the sector lol, I found that cute in the original. Anyway, I also miss Aerith using her staff to smack monsters, the sound was so iconic lmao. I guess it’s understandable that they changed her skillset to be shooting magic out of her staff but still🥺 Rude on the other hand looks pretty cool! I wonder if they’ll mention how he likes Tifa and they’ll add it into the battles so that he won’t attack her hahaha. Oh yeah, forgot to mention it, but did Cloud see Aerith die in those visions he had? Not sure if I’m into how it’s all going right now, but hmm kinda weird.

Elmyra doesn’t look as gentle as she did in the original, kinda sad~~ But I still think it’s hilarious how pushy Aerith is and how much she does things at her own pace lol. I hope we get to do the tiptoe thing at night like in the original where Cloud tries to run off in the middle of the night when she forces him to stay at her house for the night haahha. Shiva was pretty easy! I’m proud of myself hehe! Legit just Fira her to death until I could summon etc hahaha. Not sure how I feel about that intern being able to make summon materia though, I always felt like summons were spirits of nature that you kinda make a contract with, so artificially creating them feels weird. I honestly feel like more effort was put into Tifa than Aerith when it comes to the expressions and their faces imo. I always imagined Aerith to look very energetic, happy and kind, but in a lot of the scenes, her face looks very stern and you can’t see the kindness in her eyes, whereas with Tifa, there’s lots of details in every expression she makes. Sigh, it’s pretty saddening since Aerith is my favourite girl… Btw lmao at the Leaf House drawings of the cactuar, tonberry, chocobo and moogle hahaha, so cute but ugly lmaoo. Hahahaha there’s such a thing as fat Chocobo candy🤣🤣🤣 Moggie is weirdddd looking lol, did not expect that. Whack-a-box was a pretty boring game tbh, Gunners Gauntlet in FFX-2 is way better imo. Maybe there might be more stages later? I do appreciate how easy it was to get 30,000 points though haha, I’m still salty over the jump rope in FFIX lmao, no way could I ever do more than 50 of those jumps hahaha. Okay, don’t judge me, but I farmed moogle medals with the game by leaving it on while I played other games on my phone lmao. Man, those side quests were difficult to do with Aerith, I really hate her skillset right now lolll. I guess that’s normal though? Since, in the original, I found this part really difficult at times because she was so weak lmaoo. The fight with Rude was much easier than with Reno though! Maybe it’s because Aerith was there just to heal me hahaha. Anyway, I really like how careful and protective Rude and Reno are with Aerith. I feel like you can feel that a lot of it is related to their work as the Turks, but at the same time, they honestly feel that Aerith should take care of herself better by not running around so much lol. Btw lmao at Cloud carrying that flower basket hahaha. When Aerith was talking to the flowers and saying that they don’t respond to her no matter how much she talks to them, I found it really cute that before they left, Cloud asked to the flowers to respond to her some time since she’s so sincere haha. Cloud is such a big softie, it’s adorable. Just saying, but Aerith running up the stairs to clean the guest room for Cloud was so cute, I’m dying. Cloud’s mum looks pretty! Lmao, the tiptoeing out of the house is actually hilarious. I just took one step and hit a bucket and it made the loudest noise ever hahahaah, of course Aerith could hear! Lmao, I failed twice and they removed the buckets so you don’t need to dodge anything hahahha. I’m sorry I suck okay?! Although I always found it hilarious in the original that you can actually see Aerith jump out of bed and run super fast to push you back into your room hahaha.  I’ve always loved how Aerith pops out and surprises Cloud that she noticed him leaving without her. Does Cloud’s tears mean subconsciously he remembers her death? Is this FFVII 2.0? A sequel? Are we reliving FFVII alternate universe so we can save Aerith this time?

Overall, the remake has been relatively fun so far. The camera is rather clunky at times but it’s okay I guess. The story is pretty linear and won’t let me walk around and explore unless it wants me to though, I swear that warning sign is so obnoxious I want to punch it! So yeah, it can be rather frustrating when I’m looking for treasure chests, like I’m constantly being called out for going to the wrong way hahaha. Let me live my life, guys! Everything looks great and I really enjoyed the extra bits with Jessie tbh, I think that was my highlight for these 8 chapters haha. I hope everything will continue to be as beautiful and interesting. I’m not a fan of the soundtrack though, it feels a little too electric? Techno? I don’t know how to describe it but it feels weird haha. Also weird to see/hear different theme songs and stuff at vending machines, because it just..doesn’t suit the atmosphere lol, anyway I’m just picky, it’s still cool. I really like Jessie’s Theme though!

But yeah, I really loved that the remake added the part where they go to back to Jessie’s home etc. I found it really sweet and comforting to see that Jessie had a family, and that Biggs and Wedge got along with her mother so well. I think the extra bonding and interactions between Avalanche and Cloud will really make the lost of them that more painful and dramatic. I think some people think Jessie seems too “thirsty”, but I think she’s great because of how forward she is, and how subtle but also honest she is about her feelings. She’s never completely direct about it, but she’s obviously attracted to Cloud and I think it’s really cute, mainly because she can see how cold he may be on the surface, but also how soft he is on the inside. I think my favourite moment with her was when she hugged Cloud on the motorbike so comfortably, it honestly felt like (from her perspective) that she found someone she could really rely on and believe in when she’s in trouble and I thought that was really heartwarming. Otherwise, wow, the shipping with Cloud and the girls is SO STRONG, I’m starting to think it’s a visual novel where I can pick the girl I like lmao. Honestly though, you can tell how much it’s catering to older fans who love the girls. The fanservice is blatant! But it makes for great screenshots so yay~! But seriously, the dementors and Sephiroth appear too much, it’s frustrating, especially the ghosts/spectres.

[paperdoe]

UPDATE 5/9/20 Gave him a decent backstory! UPDATE 4/4/2020 Changed rhy's secondary color as it was rather...jarring before. this looks A LOT better imo! Full Name: Rhyadin Age: 6 (at the time he meets Aylen) Lives to be 15. Gender: Buck Breed: Mule Deer. Residence: Oquirrh Mountains. Voice: Deep and smooth (Ref: Eomer/Karl urban from LOTR) Mate: Lazuli Rank: Advisor. Co-leader. Sword and Shield. Offspring: Two unnamed as of now daughters. Height: Rather large for a mule deer. At least 5.0 ft.

Backstory: Like Aylens, his early life starts out with tragedy. Contracts a disease during a fawn, and it proves itself to be deadly and fast acting. And Rhyadin's system was failing fast. In desperation, his mother, who had knowledge of the divinities, called out to any being who would hear her. The Dark Spectre came to her, promising it would make a deal for Rhyadins life to be spared. But not before a voice of warning could be heard by the Elder Being. Choosing not to heed the latter, the mother agreed to the Dark Spectres deal. She was willing to die in exchanged for the disease to be wrenched from her sons body so that he could live. But the price became higher as the entire herd was taken by the illness. Leaving only Rhyadin alive. Weakened, but healthy, Rhyadin removed himself far away from his home to escape the memory of death and disease. Was soon found by his aunt's herd, who took him in and raised him. Sparred with other bucks growing up within the family often, though he was always beaten, as his body had taken on a weakness since he first got sick. But Rhyadin possessed an indomitable will, and the more he spared, the better he got at it, Really good in fact. Bested almost everyone that tried to spar with him. As he came of age, eventually left his aunt's herd to try and strike out on his own. (Though he visited them from time to time.) Was an active participant in the Rut each year, though he never sought to take any groups of does for himself. Deep down Rhyadin felt as if fighting was a way to vent out his frustrations of being weak as a yearling, and to show himself rather than other bucks how strong he had become. Was caught in a scuffle with a mountain lion one day. In the ferocity of the fight the pair had stumbled down a steep, rocky hill. The fall, combined with the scratches and bites received from the puma weakened Rhyadin. Injured badly but determined not to die, he fended the mountain lion off for three days as it came back again and again to see if it's quarry was dead yet. Until he was found by a pair of does. (Aylen and Hyree) The eldest of the group, a third doe called Lazuli, agreed to take him in so he could heal. He was disliked by her at first, as she thought he would try to take the group as payment. But it soon became clear those weren't his intentions. The little herd soon warmed up to him. Rhyadin may not have been interested in claiming the does for himself. But other bucks had their eye on them, and would try to take the does for themselves. Rhyadin, not wanting to see this happen, especially as most of these bucks were arrogant, sleazy types, answered their challenges to fight. His prowess and skill was enough to send them running and whimpering away. Lazuli saw in Rhyadin a valuable herd member if he chose to stay. The brown buck had grown fond of the herd, and felt as if it were his duty to be with them. If lazuli is the head of it, then Rhyadin is the sword and shield. Though Lazuli wasn't shy of asking him for advice, for he too had considerable leadership qualities. During Aylen's two and a half year journey, they grew closer and fell in love. Became the father of two twin daughters by the time Aylen returned. During the time of the Black Days, when a wildfire ravaged the east side of the Oquirrh Mountains and killed Aylen's first mate Dhroven, he kept the herds morale together as Lazuli lead them to the southern side of the mountain range and fought off any predators who sought to take advantage of the deer's weakened states. As he grows old, another price of the Dark Spectres deal manifests as Rhyadin contracts the same disease he had when he was young. Claiming him in the end. Though he is touched by darkness from his mother's initial deal, he reunites with his family and lazuli as she too grows old and dies in the eternal lands. Relationships: Aylen: Daughter figure. Loves and would die to protect her. out of all the members of the East Oquirrh Herd, they relate to each the most from the tragedies they went through in their early years. Lazuli: Mate. Loves and cherishes her with a fierceness that overwhelms him. The thought of losing her and the herd to a rival buck or predator grants him extra strength when fighting. Hyree: Though not as close to her as Aylen and struggles to understand her sometimes, he too loves the young doe and would do anything to protect her. More of a niece figure. Rowan: Dislike at first. The buck showed up as a challenger, but was laughably beaten by Rhyadin. But the buck seemed determined to keep going. In a rage at his arrogance, Rhyadin almost killed the young male until Aylen intervened. Incredulous and angry at her interference, but not wanting to kill the buck in front of her, he let Rowan stay with them until he healed. Was sure Rowan was out to oust him by way of subterfuge, but it never happened as Rowan began to think of the herd as a family than a conquest. It took awhile for Rhy to warm up to him, but over time becag to think of Rowan as a younger brother sort. Dhroven: Aylens first mate. Suspicious of him too at first. But it was easier to like him quickly then Rowan.

[thelaserdiscfiles]

On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969, Bond no. 6, Dir. Peter R. Hunt)

After a successful run of 5 Bond films, Sean Connery decided to hang up the holster and explore other ventures. This would not be a permanent departure from the series, in fact it would not be his only departure and return to the series, but we'll get into that. After Connery's temporary retirement from the role, series producers Broccoli and Saltzman began pre-production for filming an adaptation of The Man With The Golden Gun, featuring Roger Moore as Bond, intending to shoot it in Cambodia. However, between Roger Moore signing up for another series of the television show The Saint and political instability in southeast Asia at the time, this didn't come to fruition, thus TMWTGG and Moore were shelved for a later day. In fact, OHMSS was originally to be made post-Goldfinger, but the rights legal battle I mentioned a few posts ago was resolved, and EON was able to move forward with Thunderball.

Enter George Lazenby, a 29 year old Australian model who had more or less no acting experience aside from appearing in a chocolate bar commercial. Lazenby is kind of the movie star that was never to be. He kinda lucked into an astonishing amount of potential by starring in this movie, but unfortunately for him, he squandered it by declaring shortly into filming that he would only be starring as James Bond in one film, as he had been convinced by his manager the the Bond franchise would not remain solvent into the seventies. Yes, time has born this out to be an incredibly poor decision, and incredibly ironic, as the franchise has stood the test of time very well. But, going from the tumultuous 60s into the more civilized and freer 1970s, who's to say if it would have been at the time? Yes, hindsight is 20/20. It's easy to, in 2019, laugh at Lazenby's decision as very poor judgment and mismanagement, but at the time it was not known that the Bond franchise would be a titan that transcends decades.

The movie begins with James Bond driving along in his sweet new Aston Martin DBS Vantage, when he gets passed by a totally bitchin' red Mercury Cougar XR-7. Given that the Merc was driven by a pretty woman, Bond naturally takes an interest, and prevents her from drowning herself in the ocean.....and is attacked by two thugs who presumably want the woman. After beating them down, the women takes off as Bond quips "this never happened to the other fellow", and opening credits role.

The woman, revealed to be contessa Teresa di Vicenzo, or, just Tracy to her friends, is the troubled daughter of an Italian crime lord. Her father, seeing some kind of potential in Bond, attempts to bribe him into wedding his daughter with a princely dowry of one million pounds. Bond refuses, however, he continues to romance Tracy on the condition that her dad reveal the location of his nemesis, SPECTRE numero uno, Ernst Stavro Blofeld. Finally having a shot at Blofeld, Bond returns to London only to be told by his superior M to drop it, and Bond resigns from MI6. Well, tries to, at least, as M's secretary Moneypenny changes the resignation notice to a request for vacation. Bond then makes tracks to Tracy's dad's birthday, where he finds himself in a genuine romantic relationship with her. Inevitably, her father's sources lead Bond to a geneologist for London's College of Arms, and learns that Blofeld is scheming to attain a title of nobility, claiming to be Count Balthazar de Bleuchamp, and that he is holed up in a mountain in neutral Switzerland, running an allergy clinic. Impersonating the geneologist and donning his silliest outfit, Bond heads for Piz Gloria, Blofeld's compound high in the Alps, and, after seducing several of the young patients and finding out that they're being brainwashed to taint the world's food supply, Bond is caught and outed at the spy he is, despite coming face to face with Blofeld, who apparently remembered him looking more like a certain Scotsman. Bond is imprisoned, but escapes by skiing down the mountain with the bad guys, including Blofeld's head henchwoman, Irma Bunt, behind him. Hiding from his pursuers in a mountain town, he comes across, of all people, Tracy, who is in town doing some skating. Together they take flight in her Cougar, and more skiing ensures. Blofeld triggers an avalanche, and manages to abduct Tracy. Along with her father and his men, Bond stages a daring raid on Piz Gloria, and rescues Tracy, but Blofeld manages to escape on a secret bobsled. Later, with M, a weepy Moneypenny and a proud Q present, Bond and Tracy wed, only for Blofeld and Bunt to gun her down in a drive-by shooting, leaving James Bond to weep over the body of his dead wife.

Fifteen or so years ago, when I was first REALLY getting into the series, Lazenby and OHMSS were stalwarts of worst Bond/Bond movie lists everywhere. Contemporary reviews seemed to focus on one thing: George Lazenby isn't Sean Connery. Connery had been the face of the series since the beginning, a series for which the public had a voracious appetite for. In my personal opinion, they just weren't ready for the face of that to change. However, in 2019, as I right this, the movie has undergone considerable reappraisal. Industry bigshots Steven Soderberg and Christopher Nolan have cited it as their favorite of the series. Lazenby himself is still rather polarising. You either like him or you don't. I do. I personally believe that had he stuck with the role, and gone on to make Diamonds are Forever and especially Live and Let Die, and we had not had poor Roger Moore languish in the role til 19-80-fucking-6, we would have had a vastly different franchise. A franchise that I lement the loss of the possibilities of, and had Lazenby been the face of that franchise, matured with it, I think he would be infinitely better remembered. He has a youthful flippancy about him, and a greater physicality than Connery ever had. I genuinely enjoy the dynamic between him and Tracy, who is played by Diana Rigg, who modern audiences will probably NOT (it has been 50 years since OHMSS) recognize and Olenna Tyrell from the HBO juggernaut Game of Thrones. A lot of people didn't like when Bond wept over her dead body. I do agree that Connery probably would not have done that. For me Lazenby balances the quintessential hard drinkin' Aston Martin drivin' PPK shootin' womanizin' tropes that the series had become known for with a healthy dose of humanity. The things he could have done...even though it was literally 20 years before my birth....still bothers me.

The action in this movie is both thrilling and beautifully shot. The skiing scenes put that of Moore-era flick The Spy Who Loved Me, which was made nearly a decade later, to shame. The car chase with the big, brawny Cougar XR-7 is just awesome, a chase made better for me by the fact that it's Tracy, not Bond, behind the wheel. The penultimate bobsled scene is, goofiness aside, pretty damn exciting. The music, including the driving opening theme (the first, and only theme in the series to be an instrumental piece) and the Louis Armstrong-sung tune We Have All The Time In The World are really good and have a great late 60's feel.

If I had to pick one thing that doesnt do it for me....it's easily Telly Savalas....Mo'fucking Kojak, as Blofeld. Savalas, despite being a bigger and more physical and intimidating figure than Donald Pleasence,..I just can't take him seriously. I seriously expect him to say "who loves ya, Bondy" and start sucking on a lollypop at any moment. That said....he is easily the most fun rendition of Blofeld, despite Savalas playing the character deadly serious.

Depsite middling reviews and reception, OHMSS brought in over ten times it's budget of 7 milion, which was 3 mil less than YOLT. But Lazenby was out. Who would fill the tux next? Well....to the great joy of the general public, EON would manage to tempt back Sean Connery for one last (official) Bond film....James Bond would be back in Diamonds are Forever.

[slamsams-blog]

Quantum of Solace - #24WeeksofBond

And we are back with another Daniel Craig installment of the James Bond franchise for this week’s Bond movie, “Quantum Of Solace”.  Don’t ask me about the name of the film because I don’t really get it.  I know that the organization’s name is Quantum, but that’s as far as my understanding goes.  Is it in reference to Camille’s story of her family being pillaged and burned and how she comes to deal with it?  Who knows, but confusion is kinda the theme here with this movie...it’s just a little confusing.  For those of you who watched this for the first time and completely understood it, then I applaud you.  I’ve seen this movie countless times and still can’t figure it out.  I’d be willing to bet that I’ve watched Quantum more than any other Bond movie because, for a while, it was just always on TV.  Seriously, everyday I would see this movie playing somewhere.

This is a direct sequel to Casino Royale, the 2006 film where EON productions and producers Barbara Broccoli and Michael G. Wilson decided to hit the reset button on the franchise to freshen it up and give the Bond movies a little more grit, thrill, and depth.   This was just odd seeing as all the previous Bond movies were stand alone installments that you could just pick up and not really have to wonder what the hell was going on.  But now we are forever stuck with a Bond movie that is so reliant on the story of Casino Royale that one cannot simply pick this up and enjoy it.  The Bond fan and traditionalist in me dies a little when I watch this movie for that reason.

This film, even when knowing the story of Casino Royale, is difficult to follow.  There are so many different avenues this film takes with little to no explanation. It gets to a point where you are hearing new bits of information about the plot in the final scenes of the movie.  I’m not going to lie - I’m still not too sure I have all the answers but I will do my best.

Basically, this is the story of a pissed off Bond who is carrying the weight of Vesper’s death with him. (Vesper is his love interest in Casino Royale - sorry for the spoiler if you haven’t seen it.). At this point we are still building up to the James Bond that we know and love...the James Bond we will eventually get come “Spectre”.  Bond had just gotten to double 0 status, so he is not exactly seasoned - quite the opposite, actually.  Bond is so blinded by revenge on the man who betrayed and played Vesper into what she does in Casino Royale that he ends up killing every lead he comes across.  Bond is sloppy, and M is losing trust in him.

Lol, look at that GIF above...I’m noticing that guy in the background isn’t sweeping the floor...hahaha.

This movie opens up with a pre-title sequence of a high speed car chase for a reason unbeknownst to us.  This car chase, like all the other action scenes in this film, is so choppy and hard to watch without it giving you a headache.  The shots are so fast and cut to hell that they are hard to follow and difficult to  understand what is happening.  Bond gets away and opens up the trunk where Mr. White is lying.  Mr. White is the man at the end of Casino Royale who Bond delivers his famous “Bond, James Bond” line to.

Mr. White explains that his organization has people everywhere and that they are so hidden, MI6 doesn’t even know they exist. This is made more evident when one of M’s men, who’d worked for her for years, ends up trying to kill her.  Now M really needs to know how this organization has slipped through their fingers.  So Bond is out to find out and to avenge Vesper in the process.  After Bond accidentally kills a lead, he does some improv that would earn him a spot on Second City’s main stage and runs into Camille who was supposed to be the target of a hit.  I do enjoy that scene where Bond jokingly says “I think someone wants to kill you”, then subsequently flips that guys bike.  Makes me chuckle.

Camille (Olga Kurylenko) plays a Bolivian secret service agent who has infiltrated the organization in question to satisfy a revenge mission of her own.  She is out to kill General Medrano for murdering her family and burning her house down when she was just a little girl.  Olga Kurylenko does fine in this film as far as dark, brooding, mysterious, and spiteful goes, but her performance is rather un-inspiring, and not on my most memorable “Bond Girl” list.  

Dominic Green (Mathieu Amalric) turns out to be the man heading this secret band of fools, a band in which - to my understanding - does all the logistics work for a dirty politician to gain power for a price.  Enter General Medrano who is a dictator at heart and is seeking to overthrow the current Bolivian government to make way for his tyrannical leadership.  So now we have Bond on the heels of Greene to get to Vesper’s betrayer, and Camille on the heels of Green to get to Medrano.

One scene that I find enjoyable in this film is where Bond follows Greene to the opera where his secret organization is to discretely meet and chat over ear piece in the audience while the show is going.  (I would’ve been hushing them the whole time).  Bond has infiltrated and gotten ahold of an ear piece and interrupts the conversation letting them know they are comprised.  I love it when Bond cleverly bests the bad guys.

Like Camille, Mathieu Amalric’s performance as Dominic Green doesn’t really do much for me.  His end goal with Medrano’s partnership is to basically become the Comcast of his water supply.  Monopolize and then charge whatever you want.  Not exactly super villain material.  This happens because he has tricked Medrano into giving him ownership of land that Medrano thinks he wants for the oil.  It’s actually the water Greene is after.  He has created a drought in Bolivia and now everyone will need to turn to him for their lives.  Well, when I put it like THAT then I guess that could be somewhat super villain. 

The plot doesn’t exactly scream “get off your couch and pick this movie up now”, and it has some really dark undertones of sexual violence.  General Medrano is an all around creep and scum bag who rapes and kills, and we see that on full display at the end when a poor cocktail waitress almost falls victim to his “needs”.  It’s rather uncomfortable.

We also have Fields (Gemma Arterton) who is basically there to give us the “Goldfinger” shoutout to Jill Masterson with her dead body lying on the bed covered in oil, black oil.  (You’ll get that joke when we watch Goldfinger).  We also have the return of Mathis who was Bond’s contact for Casino Royale who Bond mistakingly accused as being a traitor.  Well he got an acquittal, and now finds himself helping Bond again after Bond’s cards and passport was frozen.  Mathis eventually gets killed at the hands of one of his connections who ends up betraying him.  Plenty of betrayal to go around. 

In the end, Bond ends up sparing the life of Greene to find out more about Quantum - the name of the organization that we just find out about at the very end of the film.  Bond leaves him in the middle of the desert.  Then he spares the life of the man who betrayed Vesper - leaving M to be impressed with Bond’s newfound restraint.  He’s slowly becoming James Bond!

Apart from some amusing scenes and a great Bond theme by Jack White and Alicia Keys, Quantum Of Solace is Craig’s least inspired film.  Only time will tell how “No Time To Die” ends up being, but I’ve noticed that the longer we have to wait for a Bond movie, the better the film is going to be....

After Licence To Kill we waited 6 years and got Goldeneye, after Die Another Day we waited 4 years and got Casino Royale, after Quantum we waited 4 years and got Skyfall...we’re on year 5 now, so you can imagine that No Time To Die has potential to be amazing!  (Its slated to be the longest Bond movie in history.)

Too much confusion, open ended questions, and hard to follow action makes Quantum of Solace one of my least favorite Bond films.  That isn’t to say that I can’t follow complexity, I love a good puzzle as much as the next guy...but this just feels like it is confusing on accident.  It is worth noting that this film was in production during the infamous writers strike of 2007, not sure if that is to blame or not, but it is not well thought out or executed. And that, my friends, is all I got to say about that.  What did you think?

Let your voices be heard!  See you next week!

Reviews from Friends:

My Mom

I am relieved to hear that you "younguns" did not follow this film either. It is very frustrating to turn the volume up so high that the ensuing music blasts lifts the speakers off the wall, and you still don't understand what they are talking about. I agree that Dominic Green was not the most interesting villain. Just kind of creepy. I have never seen Casino Royale, so I guess I'll be in for a treat. Here is what I googled about the title: "It was the name of a short story in Ian Fleming's anthology For Your Eyes Only (1960). The film is related to the title in one of its thematic elements: "when the 'Quantum of Solace' drops to zero, humanity and consideration of one human for another is gone."

Tyler Dahlgren

Yep don’t like any part of this one. The only part I was liking was Mathis...and then they kill him.

Jake Benrud

I feel like I understood this movie and the plot progression, but it was still just kind of meh. If you didn't see Casino Royale, you would be really lost.

24 Weeks of Bond will return next Monday with - 

Octopussy 

[clonerightsagenda]

The final part of the Vriska arc commentary! Let's go.

Terezi and Vriska's conversation was a big ticket item and something we never got actual resolution on in canon, so I knew I wanted to do it right. I totally scrapped a first draft of this conversation and gutted my second one pretty hard before I was happy with anything.

Vriska has mellowed out at this point, because it's been a long time for her. However, time is weird out in the bubbles. If she'd fully lived thousands of years, someone she knew for thirteen of them shouldn't be a big deal. But bubble time is more stasis than much else, so even if she's chilled out in many ways, when Terezi shows up it brings a lot of stuff back to the surface. I kept hitting walls until I let Vriska get a little angry - I've found often character interactions go more smoothly if I let them get mad at each other.

VRISKA: You're the one who set the terms. You're the one who hemmed us into two 8inary options. VRISKA: Heads or scratch, stay or go. VRISKA: I might have agreed to those terms, 8ut you offered me the deal. VRISKA: Are you telling me, Seer, that you REALLY couldn't find any other way????????

TEREZI: 1 H4D TH3 CH4NC3 TEREZI: 1 4LMOST TOOK 1T TEREZI: 1 W4NT3D TO R3WR1T3 TH3 UN1V3RS3 FOR YOU TEREZI: BUT 1TS NOT 4LL 4BOUT YOU VR1SK4 TEREZI: 1T C4NT B3 4LL 4BOUT YOU

The spectre of the retcon hangs over a lot of Terezi's scenes, especially BAA and this one. We as readers know that in canon, postretcon Terezi remains miserable. This Terezi doesn't know that, but she has come to the conclusion that we have to live with the decisions we have made. Our mistakes define us as much as as our good choices. As she says, if we change that, we're not saving ourselves, we're saving someone else, and that's a big risk to take with everybody's lives. Canon GO!Terezi takes it, but I felt that considering she felt her judgment was so untrustworthy, and she regretted her past overindulgences in trying to puppeteer others, she wouldn't be willing to change so much for so many. As Vriska acknowledges, that act wouldn't have saved her. It would have spared some other iteration, and we've seen that this just makes Vriska dig deeper into her bad behavior.

VRISKA: May8e I should 8e thanking you. TEREZI: TH4NK1NG M3? TEREZI: FOR K1LL1NG YOU? VRISKA: Weird, huh?

At this point, as mentioned above, Vriska has chilled the fuck out considerably. She's aware of the way her behavior was shaped by her situation and is somewhat grateful to be away from the circumstances that made her act the way she did. Most of this happens offscreen, because it happens over a long period of time, and all of team dreaming dead is classified as secondary/minor character-wise. Hopefully her slow transition is believable. A lot of it simply came from being out of the environment that built her for thousands and thousands of years. After that long, it'd be weird if you *didn't* figure out some stuff about yourself. Her new attitude is something she can pass on to Terezi, who expresses anxiety about living without her sister there. I wanted to give that relationship some closure and express how important and formative it was to both of them, but at times Terezi in particular took it to some codependent extremes. Being able to exist without Vriska is something she needs to learn before they can meet again on an even footing.

I did want to get in at least one Vriska and Kanaya conversation, since they had that loose end going on. Don't have much to say about that re: Vriska's arc, but I did think it was worth touching on. As a side note, I was in Chicago for ALA during this update. Gill posted 'we're going to hit 2000 pages with this one' and I reblogged it going i think the mcfuck not since we were at 1200. She'd mixed up some numbers, but the thing is, I had left her unattended and while her drawing 800 pages of Vriska seemed unlikely, I couldn't rule it out.

VRISKA:  W8key w8key!!!!!!!! <33333333

I really liked the idea of having Vriska's dialog in the actual command prompt. Her psychic command is so powerful it's escaping the text box. It's fitting, too, because directly after this update Dave "wakes up" and then helps John "wake up" Calliope. As I mentioned before, all that stuff could've been lumped together into one flash, but I quickly decided not to do that.

On page 1213 Gill only has six 3s for the heart. Apparently the mspfa discord decided that's because she gave one each to Kanaya and Terezi. That's how we cover up our errors here folks. With style.

On page 1214 Vriska's literally stealing Lord English's light from Terezi and Kanaya which is a nice touch, I think.

On 1215 we can see Terezi's eyes starting to go, while Kanaya sensibly covers her face (and is more resistant to light damage in general.) Terezi's first blinding was done by Vriska and, despite it being done with negative intent, Terezi ended up associating it positively with their relationship. Her losing that blindness represented her failure to see justice as "blind". When she tried to do something because it was "right" even when it went against her heart, it destroyed her. This reblinding doesn't mean Terezi can be impartial again. You can't and shouldn't dispense justice that way. But it rebuilds her connection with her sister, and the last thing she ever sees is the last good thing Vriska Serket ever did.

Vriska's clock hits heroic and then explodes. The heroic/just thing is kinda pointless because she's already dead AND we've been told English can override that, but it was a nice touch and parallel, considering her initial death was a Just ruling followed by the clock being damaged.

So, about that sendoff. I've mentioned before that I dislike the heroic sacrifice trope. Ironically, in a juxtaposition I hadn't thought about until just now, Dave bitches about it at length in a conversation a few updates before this scene. I greenlit this one for a few reasons. First, it's not a redemption through death. Vriska doesn't suck up until this point and then this action alone is supposed to balance the scales. She's bettered herself as a person up to this point. Also, we've made it pretty clear by now that all the dreaming dead are on the way out, one way or another. Vriska isn't being singled out to die. She's being singled out to get a particularly dramatic exit because of her weight in the story. Even so, I felt bad about it. Still, as I talk about more extensively over here, I can't see an alternative that works. And maybe we're used to Homestuck not killing anyone for keeps, but sometimes stuff hurts, and it's supposed to. It says a lot for me that I actually felt bad about it, tbh. I really warmed up to her in the end. Even in the land of eternal children, she did grow up, and although TLC has no canon stance on what happens to the double-dead, and I haven't really developed an opinion, I like to think that one day after Terezi has a few more thousand years under her belt they'll meet up and she can tell her all about it.

There's probably more that could be said but this has been Very Long so I'm gonna leave it there.