#and maybe there's a related but different term for when they don't realize they're invalidating your reality

[cesium-sheep]

a not insignificant part of it is probably that mom called today, and when she called me my familial name then corrected herself to nat and apologized I told her it's okay to still call me the old name it's just weird for people who didn't know me when I was little to call me that. she insisted that she should call me what I want to be called. I should be happy. I just feel angry. I think she's being genuine in her attempt but I think she's still far too deep in denial to realize why it will always feel hollow. to even remember that she threw a tantrum when I bought myself a binder with a gift card from my uncle, or just how hard I had to fight every step of the way to get my hair cut short the first time.

I'm glad she's been such a good ally to my wife. she already burned that bridge with me and just putting up a sign that says the bridge is open doesn't make it safe.

[kanmom51]

I swear how people consume media and interpret it is so peculiar to me. How did that anon watch that mosquito net behind and get that from it??? I would agree that it doesn't have a romantic undertone but it was cute and playful. At no point did jungkook look like he was uninterested in jimin's company or at any point attempt to lock him out in anyway other than playfully.

Also that big cut in footage will always be suspicious to me lol. On one hand I'm thinking maybe they just cut it cause it flashed jungkook's tattoos but they coulda just blurred it idk.

Also with the whole pushing thing, I think it would do us well to remember once again that these are both men and to not apply heterosexual relationship standards to their relationships. Also we already had this conversation. They were drunk. Couples rough house all the time.

Also in relation to your minimoni father/son ask, when I used to ship minimoni for real I would always see people claim to not believe they're a real thing and just ship for fun but get upset when others called minimoni father and son and I always wonder if they don't realize they get upset because that relationship dynamic would invalidate their ship that they subconsciously do ship in real life.

Also just to add, other members were almost mever included in the mimimoni narrative. I was new and they would show minimoni skinship and I thought it was so special but looking back it was literally nothing especially in compassion to jikook or heck even vmin.

Now as a jikooker and a fan for almost a year who has been exposed to bts and their friendship dynamics, minimoni doesn't even blip on my radar as a potential but jikook still does.

Sometimes I too wonder if we have all been watching the same footage.

Thing is, that I do understand that every single one of us sees life differently. We all have our own subjective perspective on things, and no matter what it is, when we see something, that subjective perspective will always be part of how we see it.

I always go back to Rashomon, as it's the best way to explain how we can all be looking at the same thing and every single one of us will see it differently. That's where discussion comes in. Talking to each other, being open to hear other's ideas and interpretations, being able to explain your point of view, maybe trying to persuade them otherwise.

Someone that hasn't been in a healthy long term relationship would not understand some of Jikook's interactions. Someone who has misconceptions as to how a couple interacts could misread a situation.

I truly don't think it's always about being anti. I think there are some that really don't know how to read certain situations.

You know, some of this is also relevant to what you said about Minimoni. Wearing your I-army glasses, not understanding the cultural context, it looked like "wow, these two are really at it". But the minute you grew, learnt more, your point of view changed, understanding the cultural context, your subjective pov included that new piece of information, and you realised their interaction was not an indication of a couple relationship.

[broomswept-thoughts]

Dang, why do I get weirdly pissed off when Tammy talks formally to me or says things that are pure hearted? I get really irritated for some reason. I think for the formality part, it makes me feel like I need to be cold back in order to be taken seriously I guess, and it makes me annoyed to feel that I need to put up a front that's not genuine. Maybe I feel irritated because it makes me wonder and second guess if I'm just being over emotional or extra. I guess it feels invalidating,like how formal speech in the therapy thing makes me pissed off because it makes it seem like the other person is looking down on me when I'm trying to be vulnerable or just communicate equally. And they're trying to appear higher up than me. I think it's rooted in insecurity for why I feel rage lol. I guess people just communicate in different ways when they're stressed emotionally like in arguments and I end up being v sensitive to people and how things appear from my own POV.

I think insecurity might be why I dislike it when I hear pure hearted or too good to be true sounding phrases. I guess it just seems fake and not like a real person to me. But maybe I'm just anxious of my own "badness", and I'm trying to drag people down into emotional muck to satiate my own deep set of wanting to be good/ better morally than other people because I've made that my identity for too/so long. I think that makes me irritated, but it's because maybe I don't like other people clearly showing me up in terms of being a good person. I think I've thought of myself as good for so long, that I get insecure when people are out there who are much better than me as people.

I think these are thw reasons why I can't let go of my irritation towards Tammy sometimes. They piss me off, but at the root of it is my own insecurity and feeling of losing myself or who I am in relation to others. Whew, glad I thought this thrkugh rn.

I think for ways to he better and not feel this way, I can try to recognize that people are allowed to be angry and upset and express that in their own, healthy ways, and I don't have to talk like them to be valid or to be "sane"/ have good reasons to feel upset. I think for the second, I think I need to step away and realize that there are many ways in which I can become a better and more compassionate, reflective, person. I think I need to put down my pride and insecurity, and let myself learn more from people who are better than me, rather than focusing on how bad I am in comparison or how much I need to do to be better.