#and minato just doesn't tell him what it is before kanabi????

[itischeese]

anyways i fully believe that canonically madara and/or zetsu made her do it with a slave seal because the alternative leaves me too salty to mention.

YESSSSS. I'm of the opinion that while the seal didn't fully control her, it wrecked her ability to think rationally and also probably made her mind fixate on the idea that she had to die or everyone else would.

Either way, the seal having an Effect on her that pushed her to do it makes so much more sense than her (canonically incredibly intelligent and compassionate) not considering the danger she would leave Kakashi in, or the fact that their teacher is a teleporting seal master...

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Out There Somewhere

Au: Soulmate AU

Words: 2271

Characters: Hatake Kakashi, Minato

Summary: After a terrible nightmare, Kakashi make's a discovery that could change everything.

One haunted angry eye glares at him, blood spilling from Obito's mouth as he speaks words that never reach his ears. Half of his face is covered by the boulder that crushed him, but Kakashi can still see all of the hatred and anger no problem.

Obito's wrath is clear as day, and even as he shrinks away begging for Obito to leave him alone he knows he deserves this.

That it's his fault Obito ended up like this.

His failure

So when a bloodied hand reaches out to him, grabbing the front of his shirt and pulling him directly into Obito, he doesn't fight.

The only thing that leaves his mouth is an apology as the anger and hatred swallow him whole.

Surging up in his spot, Kakashi's scream echoed in his tiny bedroom. Sweat dripped down his forehead and neck as he scanned the room for any sign of the face that haunted his nightmares.

Nothing.

Where the relief is supposed to wash over him, he instead feels a dull ache in his chest. A reminder of the emptiness that lingered in his heart since Obito's death.

'Soulmates are someone who we share a part of our soul with'

That's how his father had explained it to him when he noticed the first mark on his body. A small owl perched on top of his shoulder in bright blue colours.

The sign of a platonic soulmate according to his father.

Growing up, Kakashi had never put much weight into those little pictures that littered his body, but after Obito's death, he had come to understand just why his father looked so sad when he explained soulmates to Kakashi. It wasn’t just knowing that he’d look at his body and see the brilliant blue colours had faded to a black, but the empty feeling deep inside of his soul.

And the worst of all was that it was all because of his failures as a leader.

It was because of him that Obito was gone. A fact that he had to live with that was imprinted on his skin for the rest of his life. Which was why he had avoided looking at himself in the mirror since his return.

Avoided seeing that brilliant blue owl sitting there, now a dull black. Lifeless and empty.

“Obito…” placing a hand over his left eye, he stared into the emptiness of his bedroom and struggled to calm his nerves. To at least be able to relax his shoulders and get rid of that crushing feeling in his chest. The one that felt like his ribs were collapsing in on his lungs, crushing them under the intense weight and making it difficult for him to breathe. “I-”

His hand dropped to his side.

“Would you even hear me?” he asked, wishing that there was a ghost hovering somewhere in the air around him who could answer his questions. “Could you ever forgive me?”

Deep down a part of him tries to speak. To remind him of Obito’s words, and the promise he made to his friend before he was forced to leave him alone in that cave. Crushed under the weight of boulders that should have killed him instead.

He doesn’t hear it though. It’s too quiet in a sea of anger and hurt.

Giving his head a shake, he settled his free hand on top of his knee and pushed himself to his feet. With an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach, he made his way towards the bathroom.

It might be too early for a shower for most people, but there was no doubt in his mind that he’d find it impossible to sleep again until he did something to calm his nerves.

After a long, warm shower, the tight feeling in his chest had eased just a little. Enough that he could finally breathe without feeling like he was being suffocated by his own body.

Though there was still a troubled feeling deep in his gut. As if he was missing something important that was right in front of his face.

Pushing aside those thoughts for the moment, he stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel off of the back of the washroom door.

Stepping out of the shower, he grabbed his towel off of the back of the bathroom door and quickly dried off his body. Once he was sure there were no stray droplets on his legs are arms, he turned his attention to his hair.

A far more daunting task. Since the thick silver strands loved to cling to water for hours, leaving him with few options at his disposal. The best choice was usually to let his hair air dry, which was easy to do when he had to run off to training early in the morning.

But with a glance at the clock to confirm that it was only three in the morning, he decided for the less enjoyable route of wrapping the towel around his hair and leaving it like that for the next hour or two.

Once the towel was in place, he turned to leave the room, except as his eyes glanced over the mirror he couldn't help but notice the soulmate mark on his shoulder.

The one he had been trying so hard to avoid for weeks since Obito's death. Refusing to allow himself to see the truth of the situation.

Scared of the blacked-out owl waiting for him to notice it.

Except, when he noticed the mark in that passing glance it wasn't black.

"Ignore it," he muttered to himself. "It was a mistake. It couldn't be…"

But what if it is?

The question tugged at his heart, demanding an answer no matter how much it might hurt.

What if…

His eyes scanned back towards the mirror, stopping just at the edge and sitting there. Refusing to move, no matter which direction Kakashi tried to look. Denying him the safety of refusing to seek out the answer and refusing to give him the satisfaction of an answer. No matter how heartbreaking that answer may be.

“You can do this, Kakashi,” giving himself a moment, he focused his attention on his breathing.

In

Out

In

Out

In

Once it no longer felt like his heart was about to jump out of his chest, he focused his attention on the mirror. The shape of his eyes were the first thing he noticed. That familiar sunken look that many people often mistook for a bored expression, rather than just the way his eyes were.

When he got sick of looking at his eyes, he moved downwards to the mole on the right side of his chin. A secret that few in Konoha knew about, and one of the few things he recalls being attributed to his mother growing up. While everyone loved to talk about how much he looked like his father, even after the white fangs fall from grace, the memories of that laughter in his father’s voice whenever he would poke his mole and talk about how he got that from his mother never faded. A sweet memory that his mind refused to give up, even when he had tried so hard to forget about his father.

Finally, he dragged his eyes down to his shoulder. To that spot that was always covered by his shirt, and that he had avoided looking at since Obito’s death.

The soulmate mark.

Still, the same brilliant blue that it was the last time he saw it. The owl’s eyes sparkling a little under the bathroom’s light. So caught up in the beauty of his soulmate mark, something he had tried for years to ignore, he almost forgot what those brilliant bright colours shining under the light meant.

And then it hit him. The realization smacking him in the face like one of Obito’s punches.

“He’s alive.”

The words burned in his throat. As if his body was trying to tell him that it was a lie. That his eyes were playing a trick on him. No matter how many times he looked at the mark though, it was always the same.

Brilliant blue shining up at him with such vibrant colours that it couldn’t be mistaken for anything else.

Obito was alive. He had to be.

He was alive, and they had left him under all of that rubble. Alone and probably scared out of his mind with the crushing weight of all of those rocks on top of him.

“Someone must have saved him,” his mind raced, searching for any logical explanation to how this was possible. If Obito was alive, there was no way he would still be stuck under that rock. He wouldn’t have access to food or water there and would have withered away during the time Kakashi spent ignoring his soulmate mark.

Just the thought of it made him sick. When Obito needed his attention the most, he ignored him, failing to protect him all over again. It was as if the world wanted him to know just what a terrible friend he was. That he shouldn’t be put in charge of any missions in the future, because all that would come out of it is disaster and death.

“Minato-sensei,” picking himself up, he turned towards the bathroom door and made a swift exit. Determined to get dressed as quickly as possible and out the door. “He’ll know what to do. As soon as I tell him he’ll have a plan. I know it.”

He had to. If his Sensei didn’t know what to do, then Kakashi would be lost. Ever since he was five he had looked to the older man for guidance. He was one of Konoha’s best shinobi for a reason. That meant he had to have an answer when Kakashi didn’t.

Once Kakashi showed him the mark on his shoulder, he’d have a plan to find Obito and rescue him. Kakashi was sure of it.

Can’t just leave for a rescue mission.

We need more information.

It could be wrong. We don’t know everything about Soulmate marks.

Minato-Sensei’s words echoed in his ears, but no matter how hard he tried Kakashi couldn’t make any sense out of them.

“You...but, Obito…” his heart broke at the thought of leaving Obito out there, alone with no one watching out for him. “We have to find Obito, Sensei! He’s out there and we-”

Minato held up a hand to silence him, a look on his face that Kakashi had never seen before. Not of happiness or disappointment, but annoyance. “I’ve heard what you have to say Kakashi, but it’s not as easy as you seem to think. If Obito is alive he’s no longer in the same spot. Finding him will be difficult and-”

“I can use the hounds!” Kakashi insisted. “I’m sure there’s still some of Obito’s scent on his stuff. We packed it all away sure, but something must still smell like him. If we go back to Kanabi bridge we can just have the hounds track him from there.”

His idea was met with a sigh.

“Even if we could go back to the cave, which we can’t, it would have to wait,” his Sensei continued. “Lord Third has a mission for you. One that he needs you to lead.”

A mission? He was expected to lead a mission when Obito was out there alive, waiting for them to find him?

“I thought we weren’t supposed to leave our friends behind,” the words burned in his throat, his mind a war zone of emotions. The reminder of what happened to his father for holding and supporting those same beliefs boiled deep inside of him, but for the first time in years, those weren’t the thoughts that overwhelmed him the most.

For once, he was more concerned about the friend that he had lost.

The person he had spent so much time hating and scolding, that by the time he finally started to think of him as an actual friend he had lost him.

If there was even the smallest chance that he could save Obito, he had to take it.

“It’s not up for discussion, Kakashi,” Minato-sensei cut him off before he could even attempt to argue. “Lord Third is sending you out on your mission tomorrow. I know you’re worried about Obito, but he’s going to have to wait for now. Once the mission is done we can try and figure out a way to find him.”

“Yes, Sensei…”

It broke his heart to think that Obito had to wait. That he wasn’t allowed to grab Rin and search for their teammate, their friend, right away.

They were leaving him out there alone, in who knows what kind of condition, and there was no guarantee that they would even be allowed to go after him even after this mission. For some reason, even with that promise from his sensei’s mouth, it didn’t feel genuine.

There was no doubt in Kakashi’s mouth that if another mission came up, the search for Obito would be pushed back again.

The village always came first after all, even before one’s teammates.

He had learned that years ago, and even with Obito’s voice in his ear reminding him to put his teammates first, he didn’t always get the choice at the end of the day.

If the Hokage and his Sensei told him that he had to take care of the mission first, that’s what he did.

To save himself from ending up on the wrong end of his weapon, just like his father.