#and my brain is like ‘wow you’re a weak little baby bitch huh? kill yourself’

[katsukisbimbo]

Fight Me

✯ Hashibira Inosuke x Strong! Fem! Reader

✯ genre: crack!!!! kind of strangers-to-friends-to-lovers au? kinda ooc characters but it do be like dat

✯ summary: inosuke likes girls that can put him in his place

✯ wordcount: 2.0k +

note: this was a request by @ahegaoapril sorry if it took me so long to write it!! i had to rewatch some of kny to get the events right but i hope you enjoy!!

- okay so

- you first met tanjirou when you were making your way to the drum house

- you saw that he was a fellow demon slayer so why not stick with each other yknow

- teamwork makes the dream work

- “hi i’m y/l/n y/n!! what’s your name??”

- “i’m kamado tanjirou!! how old are you??” you tell him your age and luckily you guys were close to each other’s ages

- omg!!

- new bffs

- but then you could sense the presence of a demon coming from the box tanjirou was carrying on his back

- and he’s like

- ruh roh

- o.o

- “aHHhsjd you don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to!! feel free to tell me whenever you’re ready!!”

- and he’s just uwuing

- because wow you’re so nice

- he’s gonna l o v e being your friend

- on your way up the mountain you see a blonde simp trying to harass a girl into marrying him

- sigh

- simps

- you notice that he’s wearing the demon slayer uniform

- ‘do they accept just anyone in the demon slayers’

- you and tanjirou make your way over to them and try to pull the simp off of the poor girl

- “hEY gEt off hEr rIghT nOw”

- “please marry me i’m so weak please i need you to protect me you’re so beautifu-“

- you grab the weirdo and fling him away from the girl

- she thanks you and starts being the crap out of him and honestly you couldn’t find the kindness in yourself to stop her

- eh

- it ez what it ez

- he goes on crying about how he was weak and how he needed a wife until

- “EHHHHH WHO IS THIS BEAUTY YOU’RE WITH HUH TANJIROU? HUH WHO IS SHE? YOU PUSHED MY FUTURE WIFE AWAY BECAUSE YOU ALREADY HAVE YOUR OWN GSHSJSDJDBX-“

- but before he could go on you shoved him onto the floor making him eat dirt (poor baby)

- time skip becuase zenitsu is too chaotic

- you guys made your way up the mountain

- whew

- you need to work out more

- y/n’s stamina said: no

- after you guys got to the drum house you saw two little kids crying and hugging each other but suddenly a kid fell out the window

- you turned to shield the kids’ eyes so that they wouldn’t be able to see

- you, tanjirou, and zenitsu made your way inside of the house, sensing berko is demons on your way in

- you sadly got seperated from zenitsu and tanjirou

- sigh

- what nOW

- and you suddenly see a fucking guy with a boar mask

- “HAHAAHAHAHSAIAH”

- whAT THE FUCK

- RUN GET OUT OF THERE WHAT IS THAT

- luckily it just breezes past you and goes on a rampage

- ...

- when you got out you saw a beaten up zenitsu shielding tanjirou’s box from the boar mans relentless kicks

- oh no

- you fly into action and kick the shit outta the boar man

- but tanjirou suddenly comes out and yells at you to stop and that demon slayers weren’t allowed to raise their blades against one another

- who said that you were gonna be fighting with swords

- “sTOP Y/N-CHAN YOU’LL GET HURT”

- “IDC BITCH I DIDN’T CHOOSE THE THUG LIFE THE THUG LIFE CHOSE ME”

- “the hate u give little infants fucks everyone” -2pac

- y/n: *proceeds to beat the shit out of the boar dude and successfully knocks him out with one kick to the back of its head”

- ...

- pending....

- loading....

- after inosuke woke up he threatened to beat the shit out of you but you just ignored him and continued to help tanjirou and zenitsu bring the bodies back outside

- after burying everyone, you guys decided to make your way to the wisteria house to get some rest and heal up

- on the way there and during your stay there inosuke wouldn’t leave you the fuck alone

- “hEY YOU FIGHT ME”

- “no”

- “wHY NOT”

- “cuz i’m stronger than you, you’ll just hurt yourself. we’re here to rest”

- cue inosuke screaming and lunging at you

- but nah you weren’t bout it

- you simply side stepped and turned to jump inosuke and pin him down

- “give it up pretty boy”

- *boomboom*

- huh

- what was this

- why did inosuke feel his heart beat a little faster

- what was this feeling

- eh

- he’s probably just hungry

- ...

- you, inosuke, and tanjirou are currently battling the spider dad

- “tANJIROU WHAT IS THAT”

- “i DONT KNOW”

- both tanjirou and inosuke make a move to slash at spider daddy’s arms but they were too tough, you quickly ran towards them successfully slashing the demons right arm

- “hOWD YOU DO THAT?!!!? HIS SKIN WAS SO HARD”

- “and? life is hard, but you get through it”

- wise words by y/l/n y/n

- life do be hard doe

- anyways

- inosuke felt his heart beat a little faster in his chest,,,what did that mean?? is he tired or something?? but why did seeing you cut spider daddy’s arm make his heart go boom boom

- as the battle goes on, tanjirou was yEETED to the next dimension, leaving only you and inosuke to fight against daddy long legs

- “DONT DIE BOTH OF YOU”

- hah as if you’d die without confessing to inosuke

- huh

- wait what

- yOU LIKE INOSUKE

- hehe

- your thoughts are suddenly interrupted when spidaddy suddenly lunges at you but you were luckily able to get out of the way

- “oI PAY ATTENTION”

- “SHUT UP BAKANOSUKE”

- :(

- after some time inosuke was able to slice through arachne daddy’s arms but it suddenly ran away

- “oi inosuke lets go”

- boom boom

- there it was AGAIN

- maybe he needed to see a doctor

- you follow the demon only to see it shedding its skin and regaining its arm back

- what the fuck

- eND ME NOW

- you glance at inosuke but he isn’t budging

- you’re suddenly filled with fear when you realize that inosuke was accepting the fact that he was going to be defeated

- you were about to yell at him until

- “no way am i going to lose. i’m hashibira inosuke of the demon slaying corps!”

- whew

- you let inosuke take the lead as you knew that he was filled with new determination to kill this demon and get you two to safety

- but when the demon got its hands on inosuke you were suddenly filled with an immeasurable amount of rage

- you lunged at the demon and stabbed your blades into both of its shoulders

- it let out a piercing scream as you dig your blades even further into its flesh

- but suddenly a flash and inosuke was on the floor with the demons arms

- you turned your head and saw the water pillar, tomioka giyuu

- “gIyUU-SAN thank god!! could you please finish him off? i need to fix inosuke up” and he just nods at you and gets crack-a-lackin

- he defeats spider daddy in a span of 2 seconds while you and inosuke are mesmerized by his skill and technique

- as he makes his way deeper in the woods he is stopped by inosuke calling out to him

- “HOLD UP FIGHT ME MISMATCHED HAORI”

- and at that point you were too tired and exhausted to listen to inosuke or to baby sit him

- so you knock him out and smile sheepishly at giyuu

- after giyuu left, all the exhaustion seeps into your bones causing you to pass out right on top of inosuke, making you unconsciously snuggle into his chest

- GOSH THATS CUTE

- by the time you wake up you were already at shinobu’s butterfly estate. surprisingly you were the first one up from your friends

- you looked at the bed beside yours and saw that you were in between zenitsu and inosuke

- you slowly slipped out of bed and sat on inosuke’s

- dumbass still had his mask on

- you slowly examine his body to see how his wounds were healing and they were healing pretty well

- you moved your hands to touch his own, feeling how warm and rough they were from long hours of practicing his swordsmanship

- “ehem”

- GEHSJDJ

- you quickly drop inosuke’s hand and turn your head to see a short armed zenitsu smirking at you

- “iTS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE I WAS JUST WORRIED OK STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT SIMP”

- “hehe you like him don’t you”

- >:)

- “and if i do? what about it?”

- 0o0

- zenitsu didn’t think that you’d actually admit it

- “hey, there’s nothing wrong with liking him. it’s normal. you guys would be cute together”

- “i-i s-shUT UP,,, but thanks zenitsu,,, do you really think he’d like me back though?”

- “of course he does y/n, you’re strong beautiful, intelligent, and skilled! he’d be stupid to not like you”

- aWH

- zenitsu could be really cute sometimes

- but what you two didn’t know was that inosuke was awake the w h o l e time

- and he was BLUSHING so HARD under his mask omg

- ceo of tomatoes

- this was yours and zenitsu’s little secret

- after all of you had healed up you noticed that inosuke was a little clingier towards you

- whenever you guys ate he would give you a piece of HIS tempura and he never does that???

- and whenever you two are sparring he always has this look in his eye, like he was looking at something so precious to him

- eh maybe it was just the lighting

- he wouldn’t have feelings for you

- was what you thought until you overheard the three musketeers talking

- “kentaro,,, is it normal for my heart to go really fast when i see y/n?? she’s really strong and i really like that. i love fighting with her and i wanna be as strong as her. but whenever we fight i get chest pains and my tummy feels weird. am i sick?”

- and zenitsu and tanjirou are just like

- ‘r u an idiot lol’

- but this is inosuke

- “listen inosuke, i think you like y/n,, maybe even love her,,”

- wHA

- bruh you’re being punkd tell the cameras to come out right now

- this has to be a JOKE

- before you could stop yourself your body already made its way into the room they were in and slid the door open

- *bANG*

- and suddenly the three of them are jumping into the air

- but when they see that it’s you, zenitsu and tanjirou make their way out, leaving you and inosuke by yourselves

- “so i hear-“

- “i think i love you”

- what

- the

- fuck

- did he just say he loved you

- or did you have some sort of brain damage

- sOMEONE PAGE SHEPHERD

- “i think you’re really pretty and you’re so strong that you don’t even seem to break a sweat when you kick my ass. i really like fighting with you but when i do,, looking at you makes me feel all weird and tingly”

- 0.0

- you suddenly lunge at inosuke and hug him and he hesitantly puts his arms around you

- “i think i love you too bakanosuke”

- cue tanjirou and zenitsu cheering

- “i still won’t go easy on you when we’re sparring though”

- “good, i don’t want you to”

[mezhane]

JUST MARRIED(...kinda)

PART 9

I haven’t got out of the house for a little more than ten days now. I didn’t feel like it. My heart was still heavy and I was still crying myself to sleep every night. Yixing hurt me . He did the worst thing he could ever do to me and yes I was feeling sad , but what was the most present feeling in my heart was incomprehension. How could he do that ? How could the gentleman and always sweet guy I fell for possibly fuck another girl in our marriage bed ? How could he do that when he has a whole wife that demands nothing but to help him with his needs ? I’ve been asking myself these questions every day for the past couple of days now and I couldn’t find an answer... I couldn’t eat either , or smile... I felt cold inside . The day I left Yixing, I ran to Marina’s flat. As soon as she opened the door and saw me balling my eyes out, she understood what happened. We talked about it for hours, and she was on my side, but her and Yixing were very close family, so she was still trying to defend him in a way. He called me a lot that day and I didn’t answer at first. I didn’t want to hear his voice and become weak for him. So I just ignored his calls. That’s when he decided to call Marina and she reassured him, telling him that I was staying at her place. He respected my choice and I felt relieved. But Marina wasn’t having it and she was doing her best to make this union work . She was trying hard at that time, probably harder than me.

“Mina, love! Wake up! Let’s have breakfast outside together and then do some shopping! It’ll cheer you up !” She shook me lightly to wake me up, even though she knew I wasn’t sleeping. I couldn’t.

“I don’t know babe, I don’t really feel like it .” I said, putting my covers over my head.

“Okay, that’s it, I’ve had enough. Get your ass out of this bed, take a shower, put some makeup on. We’re going out.” She tore the covers off me and opened the curtains. I groaned with the feeling of cold air hitting my warm body and lazily dragged myself out of bed. She was right , I needed to get my life together.

We went shopping and had brunch together, but I knew what she had in mind. She wanted to talk to me , to confront me to the situation. She chose to do it here so that I wouldn’t try and escape the conversation.

“So?” She asked sipping on her juice .

“So what ?” I was chewing on my lip nervously.

“When are you going back to your husband?”

“Not anytime soon , that’s for sure !” I chuckled darkly.

“You do realize that your parents will notice something is wrong sooner or later, right ?” Her eyes were warning me .

“Okay, and ? I’m not the one who fucked another bitch , am I ?” I was getting heated now.

“He apologized, didn’t he ?” She grabbed my hand. She sounded like my mother sometimes and I hated it .

“ Should I go back to him cause he said sorry ? Is that what you’re trying to tell me ? So that it can happen again and again, and he will just have to apologize for me to let it slide? Bear in mind that I wasn’t supposed to come home this early that day, and if I hadn’t caught him , he would just have welcomed me home like he didn’t have sex with some whore in our bed ..” My voice was becoming weaker and weaker as I talked.

“I know babe, but try to put yourself in his shoes ! He doesn’t want to do this with you now and you agreed to this situation , but at the same time he has needs ! And his dad is literally abusing him at work... I think he did that in a very impulsive manner, he never wanted to hurt you , I’m sure of that...” She was right , I knew it .

“I know he will never intentionally hurt me, I’m not even really mad at him, but I still feel betrayed babe, you have to understand, my heart feels so heavy every day...” I could feel the tears in my throat.

“That’s because you’re in love with him , love !”

“That I am . I love him so much, Marina, being away from him is killing me ...”

“Then call him babe ! Just tell him what you feel and- Oh no ..” She looked at me with panic in her eyes . I turned around to see what was going on.

“Hi ladies ! It’s good to see you here!”

“Melvin, how are you ?” I said, half nervous, half mad .

“Well, I’m perfect! I didn’t know you came to my restaurant that often !” His cocky smile made me sick .

“I mean, you have the best brunch of the city , so obviously we would come here often .” I tried to be as bland as possible.

“I’m gonna use the bathroom” Marina said then left , clearly annoyed that the man made an ‘impromptu’ appearance.

“Do you mind if I sit here for a second?” What’s the point of asking if you’re already grabbing the chair to sit down?

“Go ahead.”

“So, how’s married life ?” He said, looking around.

“Hum... g-good ! Yeah, it’s good !” I wasn’t able to hide how miserable I was right now.

“Uh oh, trouble in paradise? I can see you’re not happy ... Look, whatever happened, you’re right and he’s wrong. You’re absolutely perfect and he’s a dick if he doesn’t realize that .” He sounded so sincere. I was smiling unconsciously at him .

“See ? You’re so much more beautiful when you smile! That’s how he should make you feel every day!... You know, if he hadn’t agreed to marry you , we would have be together by now ?” I wasn’t surprised for some reason.

“I’m not even surprised at that point.”

“I would’ve been the best husband, Mina , and you know that.” He was looking so deep into my eyes . My face was burning up.

“Okay Melvin, thanks for the chat, but Marina is back, so we’ll leave .” I quickly grabbed our stuff and joined her to the register.He followed me.

“Brunch is on me girls, please, that’s the least I can do !” He said winking. Ew.

We escaped the restaurant and drove back home . As soon as I set a foot in my best friend’s flat , my phone ringed . Yixing. I gulped hard and pressed green, determined to work things out with him.

“Hello?” I said with a feeble voice.

“So that’s how it’s gonna be Mina ? Huh ?! Not even ten days of us being appart and you’re already seeing someone else?! Wow, I guess you’re not better than me after all?!” His voice was so aggressive I felt scared just listening at him.

“W-what are you talking about, Yixing?” I whisper-yelled into my phone.

“I saw you, alright?! I saw you brunching with this bitch ass Melvin! Don’t even try to deny it ! Listen to me carefully, whatever is going on between you two, stops now. If I see you hanging around with him again, I’m blowing his brain up.” My eyes widened in shock.

“How did you- You’re spying on me ?! Wow, you really need to relax.” I chuckled.

“Don’t fucking laugh at me !! And don’t tell me to relax !!... Did you fuck him ? You did , didn’t you ? You disgust me ...” He was spitting venom at me at this point .

“I disgust you ? Yixing, you know, I actually picked up my phone to make things work out between us but it seems like you’re not willing to do that! I went brunching with your cousin ! Melvin was there cause it’s his restaurant! He just came to say ‘hi’ you dumbass ! You’re the one getting mad at me even though we ended up this way because of YOU ?! I can’t believe you right now .” I shouted back .

“I-I didn’t know you went with Marina, I’m so sorry , please, don’t hang up, let’s meet, I’ll do anything...” He was a helpless, I could tell.

“No way Yixing, learn how to not insult your wife on some assumptions first.” And with that I hung up. Marina was giving me the most judgmental eyes ever.

“He started it.” I shrugged. She bursted in laughter.

“You guys are made for each other.” She shook her head.

I pouted and she hugged me . She always did that when she felt like I needed some comfort. We stayed home all day after that , watching movies and trying to get my mind on something else.

I woke up the morning after with a strange feeling in my stomach , like something bad was gonna happen. I went down and got some breakfast then checked my phone which suddenly ringed . Unknown number. I was hoping it was Yixing.

“H-Hello?!” I answered with a hand on my chest.

“Hello, Mrs Zhang ?” Uh oh, this doesn’t feel right.

“Yes, speaking, is something wrong with my husband?” I closed my eyes, preparing myself for the worst.

“This is inspector Lawson calling from ___ police station to inform you that your husband is under arrest.” I felt my heart drop to my stomach.

“U-under arrest? But what happen- may I speak to him right now ?” I sat down trying to stop my hands from shaking.

“Of course, he is the one who told us to call you. I’ll put him on the line right away” I heard chairs moving and metal crashing together, probably from his handcuffs.

“Babyface...” He said lazily and tears instantly came up.

“Yixing... what happened? What...what did you do ?” I urged to ask , like our speaking time was limited.

“What do you mean baby? You didn’t know your husband was a gangster?” He joked and I was getting mad again.

“Yixing, I swear this is not funny, I’m not trying to joke right now ! Are you going to go to jail ? I don’t want you to go to jail ! Oh God, tell me it’s gonna be okay!...” It was getting more and more difficult for me to breathe and I had to keep fanning myself to prevent any fainting.

“Are you that worried about me love ? Don’t be , I have the best lawyers in town, they’ll get me out of here quickly. You just don’t worry and act normal , understood ?” He knew how much I loved his controlling side. I was literally melting.

“Yes, Xingie” I responded in the most spontaneously submissive way possible.

“Am I Xingie now ? Good girl. Also, when I get out of here, I’m taking you home and I’m fucking you all night until you beg me to stop. Would you like that?” My breath hitched in my throat and I could feel heat flushing straight to my lower stomach.

“Yes, please, I would love that Xingie...” I moaned .

“Fuck, baby... you’re the love of my life, you know that?”

He asked and I was getting ready to answer back, but I was cut by the officer grabbing the phone and telling him his time was up before hanging up. I put my phone down and smiled to myself. We overcame this. We overcame the rough times . My husband was back .