#and my knee jerk reaction was oh of course we’ll be working at a newspaper that’s perfect (and rolling my eyes)

[stayathome-ts]

The problem with accidentally viewing your life through a semi-fictional lens due to context is that you start applying that to the present as well as the part, and often reality doesn’t work that way, except when it does and that just confuses the whole thing.

[ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes]

Promises Not Kept Part 22

Summary: Tommy Shelby made a promise to Jonah Ward while in the war. A promise he didn't keep. But it comes to haunt him when he tries to drown out his sorrows with a young woman.

Part 22: The truth comes out and Leah hopes it can help Tommy realize he needs to slow down.

          “Mumma?”

           “Yes, my love?”

           Charlie looked up from the anthill he had been examining. The little boy was laying in the grass on his stomach, peering down at the mound of dirt that had been built up by the insects. Curiously watching the line of ants traveling through the grass with bits of food, their methodical marching captivating his attention for a good while.

           Leah was lounging on a blanket a few feet away. She’d kicked off her shoes and stockings so she could feel the grass tickling her toes. Keeping Charlie in her peripheral vision, she basked in the warm August sun and read.

           “Why were you and Auntie Pol talking ‘bout babies?” Charlie asked casually.

           Leah jerked in surprise. She thought the little boy had been playing quietly in the room next door when she was talking to Polly. She thought he was well out of earshot, but apparently that wasn’t the case. “We uh…”

           “Auntie said you got a baby in your tummy.” Charlie pushed himself up and wandered over to the blanket to sit beside her.

           Leah cleared her throat and placed her book to the side. She had a sinking feeling that he wasn’t going to let her brush the conversation under the rug. “Well, poppet, I uh…” How on Earth could she explain pregnancy and childbirth to him when she hadn’t even told Tommy yet? Not to mention she wasn’t about to have that discussion with Charlie at such a young age. And yet, it was only a matter of time until she began to show. She already saw the baby bump, although others who were blissfully unaware, like Tommy, wouldn’t look twice.

           Gratefully, Leah saw Tommy walking across the lawn with the newspaper tucked under his arm. “Oh, look!” She redirected Charlie’s attention to his father. “Daddy’s come out to join us. Why don’t you go show him the anthill?”

           Charlie liked the idea and shot up like a rocket, dashing towards Tommy. The man smiled and scooped his son up. They had slowly begun to creep back towards normalcy after Tommy’s breakdown. He and Leah made a compromise that seemed to be doing well. He would leave the majority of the business up to Arthur. And in return, Leah would support his run for election. When he brought up the possibility of being a member of parliament, she thought he was kidding and laughed. Of course, she didn’t doubt his ability, he spoke like a politician when he needed to and he was more than clever enough. But this revelation came mere days after she found him on the floor in such a state of woe. So to hear that he was planning to embark on this big campaign was unbelievable to her. But he was dead serious and quickly showed her.

           Before long, he was setting up a plan of action. A way to get enough votes to secure the seat. That included the women’s vote. Leah wanted him to slow down. To take time to breathe after all they’d been through with Changretta. But she couldn’t deny that he was in better spirits. He didn’t seem so on edge or like he was forcing himself to be happy. She only wished that there would be a day when he could be satisfied with what he had.

           “‘N the ants get food and carry it up to the hill ‘cause that’s where they all live!” Charlie was chattering away as Tommy carried him back over to Leah.

           She smiled hesitantly and hoped Charlie had forgotten about his prior question.

           “Show me then.” Tommy set his son down, kneeling to observe the anthill. “They’re busy, aye? Always moving?”

           “Yeah!” Charlie beamed and plopped back down on the grass. “Daddy, guess what?”

           “What?”

           “Auntie Pol said mumma’s got a baby in her tummy.” He blurted out before Leah could try to stop him. “Isn’t that silly?”

           Tommy’s head snapped up in utter shock. His blue eyes finding Leah. Completely frozen, he barely heard Charlie continue to ramble on about how babies didn’t live in tummies and that Frances had said they were delivered by storks.

           Leah sheepishly met his bewildered stare. For a moment, she couldn’t read his expression. He obviously looked stunned but she couldn’t tell if it was in a happy or angry way. Then his eyebrow raised, asking her a question without speaking. He wanted to know whether it was true or not. Slowly, Leah nodded and let a hand slip to her abdomen.

��          A second wave of shock knocked Tommy right in the gut. He shakily got to his feet and walked over to her. She stood to meet him and opened her mouth to explain. To apologize for not telling him earlier.

           But he didn’t give her the chance. Instead, he enveloped her in his arms, hugging her tightly. Leah let out a quivering laugh and she wrapped her arms around his neck. Tears came to her eyes, tears of relief. He wasn’t upset. He was happy. They could be happy.

~~~~~~~~~~~

          They didn’t talk about it until Charlie was asleep in bed. Tommy figured it would be better to discuss the best plan of action for telling his son. The little boy still thought it was a riot that Polly thought babies lived in people’s stomach.

                     “That’s where food goes, daddy, it’s so silly!”

         Tommy agreed that it was silly just so Charlie wouldn’t ask any more questions and further complicate the matter.

           “Did Polly tell you the gender?” Tommy asked quietly.

           They were sat in bed after Charlie had finally fallen asleep. Intertwined with each other as they spoke softly in the dimly lit room. Leah draped her legs over Tommy’s lap, her husband holding her close.

She pressed her forehead to his cheek and smiled. “A girl. Won’t that be perfect? Charlie’ll be the best older brother.”

Tommy smiled in disbelief. “A girl…” He whispered. “I can hardly believe it.”

           “I was so shocked but I’m happy.” Leah touched his cheek and lifted her head so she could meet his eyes. “Are you happy?”

           “Of course.” He replied genuinely. “It’s what we’ve wanted.”

           “I know, I just...I was worried that you’d be…” She sighed and chewed on her lip. “I wasn’t sure if it was the right time or not.”

           “Wouldn’t be a better time.” He responded and lightly grazed his fingertips up and down her thigh. “I said we’d have a family after everything was settled in Small Heath. It’s been settled so now we can have a family.” He made it sound so simple but Leah knew it was far more complicated. Especially once he announced his bid for a seat in parliament.

           But at least he was happy.

           “Think she’ll look like you? Blonde hair?” Tommy mused with a faint smile. He wound one of her honey-colored curls around his finger.

           Leah shook her head. “I want her to look like you. Blue eyes and dark hair. She’ll be beautiful.”

          “I guess we’ll just have to wait and see, aye?” Tommy lifted his wife up and laid her down on the bed. Slowly, and with care, he hovered over her. He pressed his hands into the bed as he lowered himself to place kisses down her body. Pausing at her abdomen, he took in the slight bump that he could now see. The little swell of her stomach and the way it looked swathed in the cream-colored silk of her nightgown. Tommy was overwhelmed with a sense of joy and pride. A daughter. His beautiful wife was going to gift him a daughter.

           Smiling, Tommy kissed her stomach. Things were going to be perfect from then on. He just knew it.

~~~~~~~~~~~

   Charlie was thoroughly confused. One minute his nanny was telling him storks deliver babies and now his parents were saying otherwise. He was sitting in the big room by the fire. His feet just barely dangling off the deep armchair that Tommy had sat him down in. Leah was perched on the arm of the chair, her hand affectionately smoothing back his blond hair. Tommy was kneeling in front of Charlie, a hand placed on his son’s knee.

           “M’I in trouble?” Charlie sunk into himself, looking a little sheepish. Maybe his father had found out he was the one that knocked over the vase in the foyer because he was roughhousing with Cyril. He’d blamed it on a ghost but wasn’t sure it had really worked or not.

           “No, poppet,” Leah assured him. “Daddy and I just have some news to talk to you about.”

           Tommy smiled. “Charles, what would you say about being a big brother in a few months?” He asked.

           Charlie’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Big brother?”

           “You’d have a little baby brother or sister. Like your cousin Billy. He’s a baby, right?” Leah murmured.

           “Oh. Okay.” The little boy suddenly perked up. “So the stork’s r’gonna bring me a baby!” He appeared overjoyed at the idea of getting a present when it wasn’t even Christmas or his birthday yet. “When?”

           “Well, it’s going to take some time. Mum’s got to deliver the baby.” Tommy tried skirting around the uncomfortable conversation of where children came from. But he was also afraid that Charlie would freak out once Leah began to show.

           “Mum delivers the baby...but she’s not a stork.” Charlie looked even more confused.

           “The baby’s going to live in my stomach until they’re grown enough to be born.” Leah hoped that would be enough of an explanation but of course, it wasn’t.

            The thought made Charlie’s eyes widen in horror. “Mum ate a baby!?” He yelled.

           Tommy did his best not to burst out laughing. He put a hand over his mouth to stifle the reaction and let Leah take over for a bit.

           “No, poppet, that’s where babies come from. They don’t come from storks.” She winced. It would be one of the first blows to Charlie’s childhood imagination. Hopefully, it would be some time until they had to break the news that Tommy was Santa Claus.

           The boy pouted and crossed his arms over his chest in defiance. “Frances said they did.”

           “Frances was just telling stories, Charlie.” Tommy regained his composure.

           “Oh.” Charlie was still perplexed. “So the baby is in mumma’s belly.”

           “That’s right, and soon you’ll be able to feel the baby kick,” Leah explained. “Won’t that be exciting.”

           The boy squirmed in his seat. That did not sound exciting, in fact, it sounded mildly terrifying to him. “I guess…”

           “When the baby’s born you’ll be able to show them the horses.” Tommy tried to get his son excited for the new arrival. It wouldn’t do anyone good if he suddenly got possessive and jealous. “You’ll be able to teach them so many things.”

           Charlie seemed a little pleased at the notion that he would be older. He was getting to be the age where he resented being called a baby. And although he loved affection, he sometimes got a little huffy if Leah babied him too much. “Okay.” He straightened up a little. “So when will the baby come?” He wondered.

           “In about seven months,” Leah answered. “We can mark it on daddy’s calendar.”

           “That’s such a long time!” Charlie complained.

           “Trust me it’ll go by fast.” Tommy sighed and stood up. He remembered how fast Grace’s pregnancy went. One moment he learned she was expecting, the next he was being brought into the room to meet his firstborn. And Charlie sprouted like a weed. Sometimes the man was utterly shocked to see how tall his son had gotten. It seemed like only yesterday he was holding a little bundle. He hoped that time would slow down so he could enjoy his family.

~~~~~~~~~~~

           But before he knew it, Leah was as big as could be. The date Charlie marked on his calendar was coming extremely close. Tommy put a pause to his campaign for a little bit just so he would be around if his wife unexpectedly went into early labor.

           Polly said that most likely wouldn’t be the case. She was as healthy as can be, glowing just like Grace did. Tommy’s aunt assured him that the baby would be born when the first flowers of spring were just starting to open up. And it appeared she was going to be right, as always.

           It was early morning in mid-April when Tommy went downstairs to have a smoke. The pregnancy had made Leah sensitive to the smell of cigarettes, making her nauseous almost immediately. So Tommy had to make sure he was on another floor to avoid making her sick. He wasn’t strong enough to quit quite yet.

           He exhaled a breath of smoke and wandered over to the windows in his office. The rose bushes that lined the house had begun to crawl up to the window sill. The thorny buds were just starting to show hints of scarlet red colored petals. Tommy guessed they were only a week or two away from unfurling. So if Polly’s predictions were right, Leah was due any day.

           Finishing up the cigarette, Tommy found the packet of gum he’d started to keep in his desk. The mint chicle washing away the taste of nicotine so Leah wouldn’t be able to taste it if she kissed him. It was never a good sign when your pregnant wife pulled away from a kiss and looked sick to her stomach. So Tommy picked up the habit of brushing his teeth or chewing gum to avoid that reaction again.

           He went back upstairs to return to bed and found Charlie had taken his place. The Blinder chuckled under his breath and scooped his son up. “What’re you doing?”

           “Wanted to feel baby kick.” Charlie latched onto Tommy, his brown eyes sleepy.

           Tommy laid down, letting the boy sprawl out on his chest like he used to when he was just a baby. “Mumma’s asleep.”

           “I know but baby didn’t kick last night!” Charlie complained. He was absolutely chuffed when he first felt a kick against Leah’s stomach weeks earlier. He thought it would be weird, but the experience left him smiling and waiting patiently for another kick. He spent his nights curled up with Leah as she told him a story before bed. He would quietly whisper things to her stomach, but it was too soft to understand exactly what he was saying. Still, Charlie was convinced that the baby understood him.

           “Well, she was probably asleep,” Tommy replied.

           “Who was asleep?” Leah yawned and turned over. Her eyes were still closed but she was clearly awake.

           Tommy always got a sense of pride when he saw her bump. To say he was overly affectionate was an understatement. He took every opportunity to show his wife how pleased he was. She was enduring the pregnancy all while rarely complaining. In fact, sometimes it was hard to tell who was more excited about the baby. More often than not, Tommy and Leah would talk quietly before they went to sleep. Discussing names for their daughter, what day they thought she would be born, what features she would get from which parent, or what her first word might be. It always left them smiling as they fell asleep, dreaming about their daughter.

           “The baby,” Charlie answered. “‘Cause she didn’t kick last night.”

           “Oh, right.” Leah yawned again and opened her eyes, blinking a few times. She smiled when she saw her husband and son curled up together. Soon three would become four. Five if they were counting Cyril who had decided to start sleeping at the end of their bed.

           Charlie mimicked her yawn and closed his eyes. “Still sleepy.” He mumbled.

           “Then sleep, poppet.” Leah moved closer to Tommy and smoothed Charlie’s hair back. “Sleep a bit longer.”

           She didn’t need to say it twice, the boy was fast asleep within another five minutes.

           Tommy gently rubbed his son’s back as he slept. “You sleep well?” He asked.

           Leah hummed and nodded. “I had a dream.” She told him.

           “Yeah? What about?”

           “Your brother. John.”

           Tommy chewed on the inside of his cheek. Sadness always seeped through him whenever he thought about his fallen brother. It was hard not to miss him. “Did he say anything?”

           Leah shook her head and reached for Tommy’s hand. “No.” She squeezed it comfortingly. “He simply smiled. And I was thinking, maybe we name the baby after him.”

           “Pol thinks we’re having a daughter.” He reminded her. They always spoke about their baby as a girl. Polly had such a reputation that they only assumed she was right.

           “I know, so I was thinking about names. How does Johanna sound? Johanna Elizabeth Shelby?”

           Tommy chuckled. “My aunt convinced you to name our daughter after her?” He raised an eyebrow.

           Leah smiled and shrugged. “Why wouldn’t I?”

           There was no arguing that. “Johanna Shelby.” He tested out the name and nodded. “I like it.”

           “You do? We could call her Jo for short. Maybe Joey?” She giggled softly. “Wouldn’t that be just adorable?”

           He chuckled and wrapped an arm around his wife. “Whatever you say, love.” He murmured and kissed her hair. The roses would be blooming soon. “But maybe we give her another name? Johanna Elizabeth Rose?” He offered.

           “Rose?” Leah looked up at him. “Why does that name come to mind?”

           “Because Polly said she’ll be here when they bloom. And I’m hoping this brings a new chapter to our lives. A new spring. Get rid of all the hurt we felt through the winter of last year.”

           Leah smiled and nuzzled her cheek against his shoulder. “Thomas Shelby, you could be a poet.” She cooed.

           “A politician needs to speak well. I think I’ll stick with that.” He shared a smile with her and drew her close for a kiss.

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