#and my old bishop invited them to talk to the youth at my ward because he wanted to support me being gay

[relatablemormonmoments]

Only gay rights nonbinary immortal jewish apostle timotheé chalomet can save me now

[nerdygaymormon]

The Expanded Role of Youth in the Church

I was asked to speak to all the holders of the Aaronic & Melchizedek priesthood in my stake about all the changes the church has made in recent years to the youth programs. I’m putting a copy of the talk here for myself. 

Plus I felt inspired to say something about being gay. It wasn’t in my original plans but the spirit said “what’s the point of having you in church if you don’t address this? No one in that room can speak to it like you can”

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An Analogy

Tonight’s organist is Brother Bradshaw. Brother Bradshaw, how would you respond if you received this message:

Hi. I am David and I need to learn how to play the organ before Saturday. My parents have been paying for me to get organ lessons every week for the last 6 years but I never actually attended any of the lessons and I spent the money on other stuff. Now they want me to play a Toccata by Bach at their wedding anniversary on Saturday.

If you can teach me, be here tomorrow at 11:00 am with a keyboard. I am a fast learner so I am pretty sure I will pick it up quickly.

That’s a ridiculous letter, right? 6 years of lessons and practicing can’t be replicated in a single day. Such a shortcut is not available for someone to gain the knowledge and develop the skills to play the piano beautifully. This is also true of things like learning to speak a language, become an agile athlete, a competent & expressive dancer, or a proficient lawyer.  

Putting in consistent effort over time is what brings skills and knowledge. The church experience of our youth has been changing so as to use these teenage years as a time of growth and training in the gospel and in leadership.

If you’re a dad, you should know that the church experience for your sons & daughters is different than it was for you and me. They are being asked to be an active participant in their faith and their religious experience, not just observers. When they turn 18 and are adults, they’ll be prepared to make positive contributions.

Christ already has shown us He has confidence in teens to do great things. As a church we’re showing confidence in our teenagers.

Jesus works with teens

Joseph Smith

How old was Joseph Smith when he had a vision in which God & Jesus visited him? 14.

How old was Joseph when an angel named Moroni appeared and told him about the Book of Mormon and where to find it? 17.

How old was Joseph when he was allowed to begin translating the Book of Mormon and essentially begin his life’s ministry? 21.

How old were Jesus’ twelve apostles?

When Jesus began His ministry at age 30, He chose 12 disciples. We know a little about them. We know 4 of them were fishermen, 1 was a tax collector. 2 were brothers. While we don’t know exactly how old they were, we have some clues as to their ages. Have you ever thought about how old the original apostles were when Jesus called them?

The temple tax

In Exodus 30:14-15, we learn that Jewish law was that every man over the age of 20 is to pay a half-shekel when they visit the temple. In Matthew 17:24-27, when Jesus and His disciples were headed to the temple, Jesus instructed Peter to catch a fish in order to pay this tax. Peter finds a shekel in the mouth of the fish he catches; enough to pay the temple tax for two men. That’s all that this group would owe. It’s an indication that 11 of the disciples were under the age of 20.

They were unmarried

We know that Peter had a wife because Jesus healed his mother-in-law (Matthew 8:14-15). In those times, a Jewish man receives a wife after the age of 18. Again, no other disciples’ wives are mentioned. So Peter was likely the eldest of the 12 apostles and owed the temple tax.

The use of the term “little ones”

Several times in the New Testament (Matthew 11:25, Luke 10:21, and John 13:33) Jesus calls his disciples little children; this term of endearment makes more sense if they were half his age.

The zeal and folly of youth

If it’s true that they were mostly teenagers, some of their comments and actions make more sense and fit well with the zeal, energy and goofiness of adolescence.

Expanded role of youth in the church

The sun seems so huge and bright to us and it’s obvious to place it as the most greatest object in the heavens. However, we now have the technology to compare it to other stars and find that it’s not particularly large or hot or bright compared to others. Our sun doesn’t need to be like other stars, it’s good as it is in its circumstances, especially to us on earth.  

Like the stars, we’re not all the same and trying to force us all to be the same will not bring us real happiness or fulfill our purposes.

Over the past 7 years the church has been inspired to dramatically change the church experience for the youth. I love that it now allows for a customization of lessons, experiences and goals to help us become the best “stars” that we can be.

Come, Follow Me

When I was growing up, there was a manual and the leaders just followed it, did whatever the next lesson was and covered all the points made in the manual’s lesson.

A big change occurred in 2013 when the youth implemented the Come, Follow Me style of lessons. By way of comparison, the adults only got it this year.

Come, Follow Me meant no more manual, it’s all online. The youth presidencies are asked to choose which lessons would most benefit their class or quorum. And the lessons have multiple components for the person teaching to choose what parts to include.

Come, Follow Me encouraged the youth to start teaching. A 12-year-old could be invited to prepare and share part of the lesson, a 17-year-old might be responsible for the entire lesson.

Part of Come, Follow Me is that we study at home. This year we’ve been doing New Testament, next year will be Book of Mormon. We study at home and we share things we learned on Sunday, or at seminary.

Family History

The next big change for youth was Family History.

When I was growing up, genealogy was something old people did. They came to the family history library and scrolled through microfiche, recorded info onto paper forms that they turned in to the temple.

Things moved online and it was clear youth would be more comfortable in this environment. Youth were encouraged to do “indexing,” which is looking at old records and typing the information so these records can be searched electronically.

They also were asked to work on their own family history and find ancestors who need temple work done.

Temple

When I was a youth, we usually took 1 or 2 trips to the temple with our ward to do baptism work. The bishop went on those trips and brought a list of names of youth who were allowed to participate, basically a one-time group recommend. It was essentially the ONLY time teenagers could go to the temple.  

Today, teenagers can have their own temple recommend! Their recommend is good for a year and they can choose to go multiple times to the temple. This month in General Conference, President Nelson announced some changes in the temple recommend questions. Youth now get asked the same questions as the adults.

To get a temple recommend, we meet with a member of the bishopric and he asks us these questions. A change from when I was a youth is that we don’t have to go in alone to see the bishop, or any other leader. This past Thursday I accompanied a friend when they met with their stake president. I wish more people felt comfortable doing this, asking someone to come along.

If you’re in an interview and anything said is making you feel uncomfortable, it is perfectly fine to ask if he should be asking about that or to ask if you could invite another adult to join you. Having someone else there is for your benefit, and it also protects the bishop. It’s a good practice.  

When I was a teen and went on ward trips to do baptisms, the temple provided the names of people for us to do their work. Today, youth are encouraged to do temple work for their own ancestors and can bring the names they find while doing family history work.

When I was a teenager, the only thing I could do at the temple was be baptized and be confirmed. Today someone who is a priest can baptize others. Any person with a recommend, including youth, can serve as witnesses.

Ministering

A few years ago we replaced Home Teaching and Visiting Teaching with Ministerng. The young men & young women are invited to participate. They have a role to play. Their presence makes a difference.  

Age

It’s been many decades since the Church last jiggered with the ages for when people could be put in the different offices of the priesthood. This year a change took place, we might even have an 11-year-old here tonight with us. A year ago everyone would’ve been 12 or older.

Missionaries

It used to be that to serve a mission, young men had to be age 19 and young women age 21. A few years ago that changed. Young men have the option of starting a mission at age 18 and the young women at age 19. Let me emphasize, this is an option, some people do better with a year or two of life experience out of high school. But this younger age is a testament to the preparation that today’s youth are receiving.

Some important changes in the mission experience has occurred. Sister missionaries get to be leaders, that wasn’t the case when I served.

When I was a missionary, I was allowed to make 2 phone calls home per year. Now missionaries can skype home each week. That’s a huge blessing for them and for their families. I’m actually jealous of that. And why do they get to call home? Because they have a positive impact on their families.

Not everyone is able to serve a traditional proselyting mission, and that’s okay. There’s plenty of opportunities to serve and now Service Missions are available. These can be customized to fit the capabilities of the missionary. It’s wonderful that more faithful members are able to serve and receive the blessings of dedicating their time to the Lord.

Duty to God and Personal Progress

At the end of the year Duty to God and Personal Progress are being retired. The new program is youth will choose their own goals to work towards in 4 areas:  Spiritual, Social, Physical and Intellectual. This allows for customization for where each youth is at and what their interests are.

Also, Boy Scouts isn’t the official mid-week activity for young men. Now we have flexibility to plan activities that can meet the needs & interests of the young men.

Presidencies

I have a story, when I was a teenager, we got a new quorum president. The leaders explained that he held the priesthood keys for the quorum and the adults were there to help him. This new president said, “So I’m in charge? Okay, then we’re done with Scouting. Who votes of favor of ditching Scouts?” All the young men voted to end it. The leaders stepped in and said, this isn’t how it works. They would continue planning our Scouting activities and teaching the lessons on Sunday.

On paper the quorum president was in charge, but in reality it was the Young Men Presidency. The adults decided everything of any importance.

Guess what? President Nelson in General Conference announced no more ward young men presidencies, they will all be released by the end of the year. So who is responsible for the young men? The young men & the bishopric.

What does this mean?

In presidency meeting the bishopric trains and mentors the quorum presidency. The young men will learn about their responsibilities and be coached in how to be better at them.

They’ll review the purpose of a quorum, such as teaching, doing service, building unity and spreading the gospel. And they’ll plan activities related to these things.

The presidency will discuss each member of the quorum. They can discuss what is going on in the lives of the quorum members, what their interests are, things they struggle with.

With this in mind, the presidency chooses the lessons that the quorum or class will study on Sundays, and plans mid-week activities. The adults will help the young men think through the details of planning activities, what needs to be done, making assignments, and so on.

The ward young women presidency isn’t being eliminated, but they will follow the same model as the young men with the bishopric

Conclusion

At baptism we covenanted to take Christ's name upon us. Part of that is building community with other believers, and also doing things that Christ would do. That includes looking out for others, seeking to lift the burdens of others.

There are many circumstances we can be aware of and adjust our lessons & activities to accommodate them. I’ll give you two examples.

If we have someone who’s on the autism spectrum in our quorum and they’re sensitive to loud noise, we need to be mindful of that as we plan our activities, we don’t want to exclude them or cause them stress. 

Most of you know I’m gay, if you know a member of the class is gay, give them a heads up about a lesson or activity that revolves around dating & celestial marriage, trust me that this is likely a sensitive subject for them. It gives them the choice to participate or avoid what could be a hard time.

We need to make sure our youth know they are loved, they are heard and seen, they are understood. The focus of our youth program is meeting the needs of the youth so they can grow in the gospel in a way that works for them.

A lot is being asked of our teens

Over the past decade, more is asked of teenagers in the church and they are showing they are capable. Jesus showed faith in youth, we are following His example in giving youth more opportunities to lead, teach and develop their abilities.

Testimony

I’ve been fortunate to have involvement with the youth of our stake over the past 7 years. 3 years were as a member of the stake young men presidency and 4 just because they keep inviting me to participate in youth conferences, mini-MTC’s, dances, and so on.

I have found this generation to be remarkable in several ways.

They are far more tolerant. They accept others and allow people to express differences in how their appearance and dress. They are much better at inclusion than my generation.

They are service oriented. They like doing service and seek out opportunities. They would much rather go and do good in the world than sit in a class hearing about doing good in the world. They are more conscious that there are people with needs who they can assist.

They can tell when someone is fake, they highly value trust and authenticity.  

They have the potential for greatness. There is plenty of work to do in the Lord’s kingdom and they’re capable of joining in the work. Serving them and serving with them has strengthened my testimony.

[poetassignment]

How to be Mormon in just 73 easy steps

1. Never use the word “Mormon” in describing anything Mormon. Doing so is a win for Satan.

2. Drink no coffee, tea or alcohol.

3. Eat meat sparingly. (Actually, scratch that. It’s in the Word of Wisdom, but no one pays attention to it anyway, so bring on the burgers. You’re going to need to keep your strength up for keeping all the other rules.)

4. Eat a lot of vegetables and fruits in their season. And, yes, funeral potatoes totally count as a vegetable.

5. Go to church every Sunday, even when you’re on vacation. God gives you extra credit for this.

6. Accept any callings offered by the bishop. (But see also No. 40.)

7. Attend the temple once a month at the very least. Always keep a valid temple recommend.

8. Do your monthly visiting teaching/home teaching. Er, ministering.

9. Send out a homemade holiday gift and card/letter to neighbors.

10. Never use a curse word. If you need a library of faux swear options, watch “Napoleon Dynamite” multiple times and absorb its vocabulary.

11. Do family history work (genealogy) for your ancestors.

12. Show up for moving other people in and out of your ward. Lift with your legs! And keep plenty of ibuprofen on hand.

13. Sign up to bring meals to the sick or otherwise needy. These must be home-cooked. No KFC allowed!

14. Feed the missionaries — hefty portions. You don’t want emaciated elders or sisters around.

15. Volunteer to clean the church/temple when the sign-up sheet goes around. Remember to wear clothes you can get dirty in. You’re keeping the church clean, not yourself.

16. Attend ward activities like the Christmas party, the summer swim party, back-to-school parties, etc.

17. Hold a weekly Family Home Evening with your children. No crying allowed, from either parents or children!

18. Teach your children to do chores happily. (Good luck with this.)

19. Be grateful, even for your trials. Trials are really blessings in disguise. Also, they make great fodder for tearful testimonies in the future.

20. Keep a year’s supply of food in your basement, even if you never eat any of it. The family with the most wheat wins.

21. Do regular disaster planning with your kids, from fire drills to flood plans. You can never be too prepared for the end of days.

22. Know how to make important knots with rope. No one knows why this matters, but it does.

23. Learn how to build a fire without a match.

24. Know the stories of your pioneer ancestors, if you have them, to tell your children on Pioneer Day. (Don’t worry about the gruesome details — kids will love them!)

25. Invite nonmembers to attend church meetings and activities. Repeatedly.

26. Read the Sunday school and auxiliary lesson each week, so you can participate in lessons. But don’t monopolize the teacher, even if you’re the only one who prepared.

27. Figure out how to use beans in fudge making and wheat in chili-making.

28. Help with local fundraising activities for the youths, like allowing them to put a flag in your yard even if they break your sprinkler system.

29. God expects you to be happy.

30. Play “wholesome” games as a family. (Yes, Monopoly counts. The prophet Ezra Taft Benson taught that capitalism is holy, so it’s best to start ’em young.)

31. Donate to Sub for Santa or other Christmas charities as a ward/stake.

32. But don’t tell the children that Santa isn’t real.

33. Sing in the ward choir, even if you don’t sing well, because you can make a “joyful sound.”

34. Do NOT NOT NOT have sex before marriage — no making out, either. In fact, just try not to think about sex at all.

35. Root for BYU against the University of Utah — “bleed blue.”

36. Get your daughters to babysit for poor ward members for free.

37. Go on weekly dates with your spouse.

38. Don’t steal from the ward’s library or lost and found. (Return your crayons and chalk, dammit!)

39. Repent whenever you accidentally use a swear word, as I just did in violation of Rule No. 38.

40. Friends don’t let friends get called into the nursery.

41. Toddlers get only Cheerios in sacrament meeting. (No Capn’ Crunch or you’ll make the other toddlers jealous.)

42. Submit Primary children’s drawings as art for the ward bulletin, even if you can’t tell what it is.

43. Eat “better than sex” chocolate cake.

44. Drink sparkle punch.

45. Participate in Eagle Scout projects no matter how stupid you think they are.

46. Have a favorite church hymn — preferably the same as one of the prophet’s.

47. Watch out for Gadianton robbers. Also, MLM schemes.

48. Know how to cook a marshmallow properly to make s’mores. They’re practically a Mormon invention.

49. Be able to make seven kinds of Jell-O salad, at least one with carrots.

50. Save seats in a theater/amusement park where it’s not allowed, but do it politely.

51. Make sure you know how to make funeral potatoes. (Hint: with cornflakes!)

52. Drink root beer or milk if you are ever forced to be in a bar.

53. Turn regularly to sugar, in huge quantities, as your only vice.

54. Keep all church buildings at refrigerator temperatures year-round because men are in full suits and ties.

55. Drive to church no matter how close you live.

56. Go on a mission the moment you hit the requisite birthday.

57. Don’t go to the grocery store on the Sabbath. If you absolutely must, though, do it in another town so no one from your ward sees you.

Women

58. Do feminine crafts like knitting, crocheting and quilting.

59. Learn how to bake bread, cook meals cheaply, and can foods. Bonus points if you grow the foods in your own garden.

60. Wear makeup, because even an old barn looks good with a little paint on it.

61. Do not nurse at church except in the mother’s lounge in the women’s bathroom, which will also be where children’s dirty diapers are changed and disposed of. But modesty!

62. Attend monthly Relief Society meetings.

63. Decorate your house with Relief Society kitsch.

64. No porn shoulders.

65. Don’t slam your purse or talk in a shrill tone.

66. Be able to sew pioneer bonnets, dresses, aprons, etc., in bulk at a day’s notice.

67. Don’t chew gum in church (according to my mother — it’s not ladylike).

68. You can have up to one ear piercing per God’s instructions. Getting double-pierced ears is beyond the pale, so don’t push it.

Men

69. Sacrament must be administered and passed by young men in white shirts, only using their right hands. The patterns may vary from ward to ward, but are secret and only for men to know.

70. Do not shed tears in any scenario ever, except during testimony meeting, when it is 100% acceptable for you to cry.

71. Don’t abuse your children or your wife — except with dad jokes, which you may pile on freely.

72. Do play church ball hard enough to get injured or injure someone else. Unless someone winds up in the hospital, the Spirit hasn’t spoken strongly enough.

73. Facial hair was fine for Jesus but not for you. The clean-cut look is definitely the Mormon, er, Latter-day Saint look. Oh, and man buns are flat out.

By Mette Harrison