#and no clue wtf order they go in or their flow

[bloodnikki]

This is going to be a long post

Spinel got better because she had someone to help her with her physical form, her feelings of depression are being countered with drugs, and she is seeing someone that allows her to reflect with herself and talk out all her bad thoughts. 

None of this happened over night. She had beings to support her through all that while they worked on themselves. Steven’s failure with each is because he is only getting one side of it at a time. Working on your body doesn’t improve your mental health unless you also work on leveling out your mood and also work on your bad thoughts.

“How did you deal with your bad thoughts?” 

Spinel said he told her SHE NEEDED to want to change and put herself into the mindset that she needed to be the change in her life that brought a happier, healthier one. 

“Don’t give me my own advice!” Don’t tell me I need to be the change in my life in order to deal with my trauma. 

It’s so interesting to see Spinal doing all the things therapy would ask of her and flowing between them as needed. And her character reacts like someone in therapy.

“I’m having issues with my body.” Okay. She takes him to the person that can help with issues of the body. 

“I’m having issues with my moods.” Okay. She takes him to the person that can help him feel better. (I know people are saying Blue is weed, but it honestly feels like she finally got on anti-depressions and wants to share that.  

Steven is unhappy with the use of outside drugs. “I want to be better, not feel better.” The outside drugs are not dealing with the issues he really is having and that’s true. Her happy clouds are worthless if Steven doesn’t work on his mental health. But the clouds would be helpful if he did work on his bad thoughts as a way to help level him out from having to deal with such deep trauma. 

Finally Spinal took Steven to see White. Someone that told him he needed to talk with himself and gave him the tools to do. Empty Chair therapy. (Basic info in the link but not the most in-depth.) It is when the person you really want to talk to isn’t there but you need to get things off your mind in a safe way to work through your feelings with a therapist their to help guide you.

And look what happened. WE learned that Steven is stressed out that he is really a diamond. He has to deal with the fact that he was taught the diamonds are evil and awful beings... but that he is one of them. It’s because of them he went through so much and his mom too but he can’t blame them because he is one of them. The stress of all that and the finally understanding that THEY don’t have power over him. He has power over White now. He could hurt her like he was hurt. 

In therapy, the therapist would pop during this to channel it into a healthier line of thought. But White can’t break his hold to stop him. She is still too new to helping others in their mental thoughts. 

And bad therapy, bad mental advice or poor timing of it can really fuck with a person on the edge of a break down. 

While I am not comfortable with how the diamonds were handled overall nor the cluster being brought up the way it was in this episode. (Had a holy fuck. You still haven’t fixed that. WTF Horrified face.) I do think this episode was a good way of showing that therapy is a many leveled thing and that each piece is helpful to central good, while different elements are acceptable to say no to. 

If at the end, Steven took the chance to stay and talk things through about his mental thoughts. They could have found a different way to help level his mood. Keep in mind that the episode boiled down You need to want to change. Yellow says his body size means nothing if he doesn’t work on his mood. Blue says “basically “since you don’t wanna chose to be happy, you need to talk to deal with your sense of self.” which means looking deep within and dealing with that. But Steven isn’t ready for that. He isn’t ready to know that the real stress he is having is the weight of who he is and his birth right. 

I think going back and rewatching the movie and seeing homeworld bound you see Steven has reached his breaking point. He is stressed and uncomfortable. He deals with Spinal and his mother doing even more damage and just the look on his face “I can believe she did that” and the idea that she’s apart of him. He is part pink diamond is really pushed in his face and he accepts it. This is pink diamond’s doing that is hurting those he cares about. He is part pink diamond. He is really a diamond. 

And what does that mean if you are part of the people you were told are monsters and evil? What does that mean if you have no one left to help but yourself after years of taking care of others and seeing them all help without needing your help? All he has left is the trauma with no one to blame because his mother is dead and the gems don’t understand humans. His father understands humans though. 

So, steven blames him a little for not giving him a normal life but failing to understand that Greg wasn’t sure what to do with a half alien baby. He had to trust the gems on this matter. That’s why Steven lives with them in the house that Greg most likely paid to get built. Steven of course doesn’t recall having to talk Greg into allowing him to fight a giant eye ball and possibly has no clue that Greg honestly has no idea White ripped his gem out. Greg has shown to be willing to put limits on Steven early on until the Gems and Steven pointed out those limits really don’t work for someone like Steven.

Greg can’t take Steven to a doctor because as shown in growing pains the doctors would have no idea what to do with him. He only was able to get real medical treatment due to the gems allowing themselves to be x-ray’ed for her records. Greg’s biggest failing is that he didn’t allow Steven to have his moment of rage and allowing Steven to go on so that he could listen and explain himself. He just went straight to being supportive and understanding while failing to understand that Steven NEEDS someone to be supportive in a different way. In the tight love kind of way. That’s why he looks to Jasper way and later leaves to see the diamonds only to find them supportive and having grown into people more like the gems and his dad.

Of course that pissed him off. Of course that sent him on edge. Steven wants a normal life and failed to see that Greg feels more comfortable climbing out of a window than using the front door of a home he hadn’t seen in 20 years! Or that Greg had to hide a CD from his parents when other teens normally hide porn. 

In Steven’s mind Greg had parents like Connie but that isn’t true. In what little Greg has said, it is clear that Connie’s parents and Greg’s are wildly different. Connie was allowed out to the beach and to see movies. She loved silly cartoons. Greg was forced to hide CDs and his life changed on hearing a song because he had never heard anything like it before. So much so that he named himself after this small moment of freed that showed him life could be so much different. 

I know a lot of people took this episode to say “you have it so much better then me” and this car moment is that. But the real message here is that they both had rough childhoods for different reasons. They both envy the other and really aren’t getting across why. Steven because he is young and doesn’t understand why it would be difficult to raise a child like him in a way that’s normal. Greg for not seeing how his way of raising Steven also limited him from his age group. “You know how old I was when I had my first taco? Too old.” Could be implied he wasn’t allowed to go out to see friends. Greg does have the social skills of someone that didn’t have a normal healthy childhood. He fails at social cues because he never really learned them until later in life. But Greg knows its due to his parents and it was this boldness that brought him Steven... so it worked out well for him.

Steven gets stressed about this. Steven as we have learned hates being part diamond. He was taught to hate that part of himself and OH! Greg is like mom. Greg doesn’t think about other peoples feeling! And he blows up. 

I can’t say it was rightfully so or not. But! It was needed. Until Future Steven never had the room to be upset. Not because Greg wouldn’t let him. Not because the gems wouldn’t give him that but because Steven never had time to. Steven had to pull it all in because the gems were sad and he wanted to make his family happy. Or the gems were stressed and steven had the ability to show them they were okay by being okay. The gems had to healthy outlet for negative emotions. They bottled it all in and taught Steven to push past it.

In short,SUF is an essay on Steven not knowing how to channel his negative feelings because he became so use to being the rock that kept everyone health. He couldn’t be negative. He went to the diamonds because he wanted tough love like Greg had but found something, to him, unhelpful. The diamonds were written as a great showcase of the many things one has to do to get better and Spinel (I know people said she acted kinda high) is relaxed, less stressed due to going through the steps of recovery from her own trauma and shows the willingness (and the harm of doing that) of pulling others in help of help down the path of how she got better. 

I may not have been happy by a lot of the writing in SU but I am pleased with the way depression and trauma have brought up. It is shown as a complex thing with different people handling it in different ways and that those ways aren’t always the right thing for everyone. I could go off on that but this is long enough.

[entoman-created-by-the-tallgreys]

??? wtf

i want to first start his post of by saying i haven't the Slightest fucking clue what it is 

There is a paranormal - Brown darkness - on the out skirt’s of are reality 

i don’t know what going on but there is a some what Demonic Force heading tord’s earth or is being intertwined with this reality 

yes, i said brown darkness not black - like i said i don’t what the fuck it is - 

but i can tell you, there are very negative and highly paranormal .... force’s as work upon the earth weather round or flat the - point is there is more strangeness Going On - as if the Mendel effect wasn’t odd Enough - 

the brown darkness is psychic, and at that it’s used it psychic as a nerve 

i talk about the shadow’s and the shadow people, but i can’t ... i don’t get it why are there so many alien’s after earth ??? 

Why ?! - is earth so attractive to many form’s of life ... 

that might just be a Moot Point - either Way - the brown darkness ... swirl’s and it’s either uncompilable, annoyed, threatened, hungry and or ready to do something - and warning the brown darkness is a psychic vampire 

Be Aware of it but do not look at it if you can feel it never look in the direction of it  - 

and you might hear some hissing only animal will be able to share what you hear do not .. react when it hiss’s ... it will attack any one that Emit’s fear 

dead or alive - 

i say again of the paranormal realm i don’t know what IT is but i can say it’s big .... Very big and it's being pulled to earth by ... cult’s 

it’s a monster ... and it’s constantly Unstable - only light a candle, if it’ s dementor-ing you or semi possesses you and draining you - the fire will draw it out - and give it a source of life the con is it will spread out and make the room sticky - and the humidity will increase - and the bad luck will be all around - But you’ll live and be able to think again, other wise it will drain you till you unable to think or even from a fucking thought - Your Neuron’s will not have and Strength to even hold memory - correctly or at all it will take you year to recover the damage it did to you 

if you can see the brown darkness it look’s like a flow of creepy brown shadowy sewage, that wavy with a light brown cloud around it ... 

it flow’s like a syrup, Thick and Cold, and attracted to anything warm  

it’s repelled by light, but not a 100% if you are in total darkness - it will take you and possess you, and your mind is like a computer and it will go threw all of your thought’s like a hacker downloading a entire computer’s Hard drive as it implant’s it self it will monitor your process’s omni of them 

As it drain’s your battery - 

( Again, i’m using metaphor to try to explain ... it’s effect ) - 

and if you see it .... your going to have a nightmare as it talk’s to you 

about you saw nothing ... and it doesn't want you to talk about this 

it look’s like the entire masked man from Mark twane the mysterious stranger 

But as you go threw this alleged dream it feel’s more like a Astor projection 

and the entire realm is brown with a minor color of the fire and other’s thing’s 

As you try to move it Feel’s Like your flowing threw ... sewage mixed with mud  

and a odd gas so thick you can almost swear it was ... .. never mind the gas will Choke you, your not even aware and you gasping for air ... as the reality melt’s away and the creepy Fucker keep’s smiling - harder and harder till you wake up ... drained and you keep hearing a hissing a loud hissing and the dog’s are freaking out ... a very loud and very powerful ... wale of energy 

i don't Know what the brown darkness Entity is - but i can say earth is getting highly flied with ... paranormal freak’s - i’ll post a vid on a few of them 

be aware, earth is no Longer “Normal” earth is different 

either wake up or die, dyner’s are Either retarded or there stupid, or mentally ill 

either way ... it’s law of the jungle - 

oh ! and it’s hypnotic, it will tag onto you and semi possess you and Get you to do thing’ s in order to hurt your self or your life, and it will fog your mind, a lot 

it like’s to control it victim's with psychological fogging, but it waver’s 

it flow’s from one part of the world to the next . . . 

i don’t know wtf it is .... i think i one time said it came from the void, or A void ... either way ... the part that possess you is just a spark of it’s true mass it brake’s off piece’s of it’s self to possess and zap an sap, it’s pray as it go’s the brown cloud, and it’s look like a metallic many swirl’s of different shade’s of brown ... 

if you see it ... it don’t just haunt one person is haunt a entire area 

it’s also known for give extremely bad luck, and getting to control people to ... put them self as a constant inconveniences or just a few - like Losing something or force Some one to forget what thay where doing, it may repeat the process with laughter as it go's’ deeper and deeper till you kinda black out for a few second's - and as you try to boot back up it will do a massive power surge ... as it drain’s You - 

[tmntismyfetish]

The Boys + Crushes

Alright this is basic as hell, but I figured for my first headcanons post why not? Also sorry for the formatting its bothering me too don't worry lol! Other than that I hope y'all like it!

Leonardo

He knew before you knew that you liked him, but he wanted you to figure it out yourself

Lowkey didn't have a crush on you, until one day you happen to give him a totally normal smile and he was like fuck

Is a little awkward because he knows he likes you and you like him, but like??? How do u feelings?? Wat r those???

You accidently confess while chit chatting over tea

He can't speak for 10 minutes

Its #awkward

After one of you comes clean and the awkwardness is cleared from the air things sort of just flow.

He wouldn't parade the fact that he was in a relationship around, but wouldn't shy from holding your hand

He definitely would talk to Master Splinter first before making it official (because he's just that big of a dork)

At first you're a little unsure of if he actually likes you, until one day he does something sweet like give you flowers or a pretty scarf (he totally talked Raph into making it for you)

His brothers are always harassing him about you, but you simply pop all of them in the nose and tell them to shut up

They leave you two alone after that

Raphael

He denied it. No WAY did he have a crush, nope. He, the master of unfeelingness, felt nothing for you

He has fallen hardcore for you

Raph won't say anything to anyone about his crush, until Mikey notices Raph's constant glances in your attention (and of course proceeds to tell the whole damn family)

Mikey almost told you, except a talk from Leo (and a death threat from the bara beast himself) made him reconsider

You have to say something first. You decide to start slow, like sitting next to him during movie nights, and asking him to teach you to spar

Poor Raph is so flustered by the attention

Eventually you let it slip during a sparing session that you'd love for him to come over and watch a movie

Poor Raph is so startled he forgets where he's aiming and ends up punching a wall

He's so confused, so you end up having to explain right then and there your feelings for him

Raph could hardly speak, so he ended up just nodding furiously and hugging you

The relationship starts off slowly. He's so afraid of messing up that he's either constantly asking if he was doing okay or not saying anything at all. He eventually gets that you care for him strongly, but it takes a few rough starts

Michaelangelo

This boy

He's such a flirt

He ends up telling you he likes you, but he's so fricking flirty you don't actually believe him

Only after a busted up Mikey shows up at your window asking for a hug do you start to believe him

Slowly but surely you see that Mikey really does have a crush on you

You decide to make him a heart shaped pizza to show him you like him too, but it comes out so horrible you scrap it and just order one

Mikey is so excited to hear you like him, he hugs you and bounces off the walls

You can bet he's shoving this relationship in his bros faces

It starts off a little shaky, what with Mikey being so crazy excited, but he mellows out after a bit and he's literally the best boyfriend

Seriously: he always knows if you need something, or when you need to be left alone

His brothers honestly love you because they actually can use the TV every once in a while now that he doesn't play on it so much

Y'all definitely gain that couple weight together

Donatello

#clueless

Hand to god, this nerdy bara has no clue you like him

You could have it tattooed on your forehead and he wouldn't be able to tell

He doesn't even realize he likes you back until a close call with some muggers make him realize his feelings were a little more than friendly

He will pull you to the side and tell you straight up

He is pleasantly surprised that you like him back (you face palm because LITERALLY EVERYONE KNEW DONNIE WTF)

This relationship is the most easy going, yet not

He never has an issue telling you his thoughts or feelings, but sometimes he gets so swept into projects he forgets literally everything except his project

You make sure he eats and sleeps on a somewhat regular basis

Leo is definitely grateful for the help

[cclaudias]

So ngl, this might be a huge reach but

I STILL DON’T THINK THAT’S OUR SHIRO.

Now before any of you judge or make any comment claiming this is a reach and I should stop, hear me out. I’ve thought about this a lot, and send a lot of time on this to make you people understand why I feel this way. And I’m normally not very good at that, no thanks to my brain and adhd. I’ve even explained how I think Shiro disappeared and what really happened.

To begin with, we didn’t really get a proper insight into anyone’s character this season and there was very little character growth. I’m so salty about that, but the season wasn’t that bad, so imma just not mention that again. Now about the Clone Shiro theories. There were a lot of them, and some of them stated that Kuron may not even know that he’s a clone. And I feel that this is what’s happening with Kuron here. I’m sure that Kuron himself thinks he’s Shiro. 

But while memories make up an important part of your personality, it’s not everything. There’s a lot we learn from our own thoughts on certain things, the way we make observations which might be linked with our memories, but are not a part of our memories. That’s what’s going on with Kuron here. He has Shiro’s memories, he knows how Shiro behaves, he knows how he’s supposed to behave (since he believes he’s Shiro), but that’s the thing - he’s not Shiro.

With many memories, we tend to have feelings associated with them. Feelings are an abstract thing, so I’m not sure they were copied when Shiro’s memories were implanted in Kuron. But Kuron still knows how he’s supposed to be, because he’s living in Shiro’s life, in Shiro’s memories, with Shiro’s memories, so even if he doesn’t have feelings, thoughts or opinions associated with those memories, he still knows.

It’s kind of like with kids (and occasionally teens too). They tend to look up to certain people - parents, siblings, role models, classmates, celebrities, etc - and imitate them (knowingly or unknowingly). And they do it so well, when they don’t even have memories of this person, just the ones they’ve seen and the memories they were in. But Kuron here, has 25 years of Shiro’s experience and life and he might not even know he’s a clone. That’s actually really sad, because when all’s said and done, in the end he’s not Shiro. Even if they’ve “led” the same life. He cannot be Shiro.

This is gonna be kinda long, and I might be wrong but I wanted to put this out there.

So first let’s start with the scene where Black responds to Kuron:

While saying this Kuron sounded so much like our Shiro. Like Black’s Shiro. Not only that, like Shiro points out, people’s lives were at stake. Black forms the head of Voltron, she wouldn’t let people die because she wasn’t sure this person who claims to be her paladin, is her paladin.

When Black first found Shiro (Kuron), she was so exhilarated. You could tell that, even Keith was so happy, I think he must have felt her energy flow in, and I feel that must have been the only time he really “bonded” with Black, so after Black rejects Shiro (Kuron), he still keeps insisting that Shiro should take the lead. Because he knows. He knows how much Shiro means to Black.

Black found Shiro (Kuron), because of his memories. But then when Shiro actually tried to pilot her, she shut him out. This is what she was like when she found him:

[She looks so cute and pure and happy here wtf??!!]

Even Keith here has a slight smile on his face. AND HE HAS NO FRIGGIN’ CLUE WHAT’S GOING ON?? Can you imagine?! Black was so happy and excited, her feelings must have been surging through Keith and even though he had no idea what the eff was going on, he’s faintly smiling.

I don’t really think Keith and Black ever really connected, you know. Because if they did, we would have been shown that scene, it was important. They showed us the scene where Blue and Allura bonded (I don’t really think Lance and Red have properly bonded either). It was just the first time she chose him, and then now. So Keith can tell how important Shiro is to Black. That’s why he was so confused when she rejected Shiro. But then the others needed him so he doesn’t say anything, but later on despite Black’s rejection, he keeps insisting that Shiro should lead. It’s not only because he knows Shiro’s a good leader, but because he knows that Shiro’s the only paladin who earned Black’s love and respect (there was Zarkon… when he was alive. Black: zombies don’t interact.)

I also think Black chose Keith because of Shiro. She didn’t chose any of the other paladins because, 1. She didn’t find any of them fit to be a leader (there was Lance, but atm, he was only thinking about this being “his moment” and that must be why Black rejected him. He was mostly leader material, but that notion was selfish and not leader-like at all. But if I’m right about Kuron, then we might actually see Black Paladin Lance. (I’m going to cling on to this hope with all my life.) and 2. Keith was the only one who hadn’t given up on finding Shiro. The fact Shiro thought Keith could take his place may have also influenced her decision.

Black obviously cared A WHOLE FUCKING LOT about Shiro. She chose him over Zarkon, protected him against Zarkon, gave him an insight about her past life. They were the ones with the strongest bond (because Shiro was an adult, more mature and they spend a lot of time together when Zarkon was tracking them through her).

And I know she accepted him now, but why reject him in the first place? Why did she cut him off in the beginning??

This was Black when they found Shiro (Kuron). She looks so animated and happy. The way she leans in towards where Shiro is...?? I don’t know if you’ve ever had a pet (I don’t have one either, I just watch thousands of cat videos on youtube), but this is exactly how they behave towards an owner they love so much.

In the beginning, Kuron was almost passed out and in an almost unconscious state, she probably couldn’t tell the difference. That he wasn’t her Shiro. But then when he’s conscious, she immediately knows he’s not her paladin. He’s not Shiro. So she cuts him off. But then the more Kuron interacts with the paladins, the more he starts behaving like the real Shiro, so Black may have started to doubt her initial observation.

He sounds so much like Shiro here. Because that’s who he’s supposed to be: Shiro. He might be someone else, but his whole life is painted in Shiro’s memories, and he might not be Shiro, but he’s a lot like him anyways. In this scene, Kuron doesn’t say this because he’s supposed to be like Shiro, he says this because, he genuinely cares. And that’s the saddest part.

I think Haggar (Honerva?? I don’t know what to call her) knew this would be most effective if the clone themselves didn’t know they were a clone. That was there would be closer to no chance of their identity being exposed, because they themselves think they’re real. But with someone’s memories alone, you cannot become them. And neither can Kuron. Do you ever just remember that Honerva is so fucking smart but so sick and omfg I hate her.

Kuron knows what to do in this situation because Shiro’s been here (sort of) when Zarkon was tracking them through Black, and even though they’re objective and situation was different, they both requested Black’s help in somewhat the same manner. Though when this happened with Shiro, they formed a bond, with Kuron she accepted him.

Either Black knows this isn’t her Shiro, but accepted Kuron because she must have realized he himself didn’t know he was a clone and because they were in a situation where they were needed. Or she might have begin to think that maybe her first (second, really) impression of Kuron might be wrong.

Another thing I noticed is that Kuron does have Shiro’s bayard, but he didn’t use it, once. In the season 2 finale, we see Shiro use the bayard, so by now shouldn’t he have used it at least once?? But he doesn’t. This is what a bayard is:

When Keith and Hunk used their bayards to form weapons for Voltron itself, their bayards manifest themselves in the form of their regular weapons: a sword and a shoulder cannon. So while it may be different (I might be wrong thou) but when Shiro’s bayard took the form of a sword during the fight against Zarkon, it should have at least an initial form by then. But, in season 4, Shiro (Kuron) doesn’t use it. Once.

This probably happened because Kuron is not Shiro, and even if he has Shiro’s memories, the bayard takes the form based on its paladin’s whole personality. Not just memories.

Not only that, just because Kuron started acting more like Shiro this season, it doesn’t mean what he did last season doesn’t matter anymore. If anything, Kuron’s growing. But I don’t know how much his behavior changed really. Especially the way he behaved with Keith.

Shiro behaved so differently with Keith. Like both a big brother and leader. He didn’t force Keith to make decisions, but instead explained to Keith why he thought he should make said decisions. He let Keith make the choice.

So why was Shiro (Kuron) pushing Keith into taking the role of Voltron’s leader. Telling Keith that he had to do it. Remember that time in season 1 when Pidge had decided to leave. Shiro told Keith that he can’t force her to stay. So why was he forcing Keith to?

Not only that, Shiro is the one who wanted Keith to lead. So in season 3 when Keith was doing just that, why was he revoking Keith’s orders, and calling him out in front of the team? Invalidating a leader in front of their team. The orders Keith were giving were acceptable and not Keith being hot-headed or putting the team at risk. But Shiro still opposed them. When he had no proper reason. I don’t know who that sounds like to you but to me, that man did not seem like my Shiro.

A lot of you picked on Shiro’s behavior in season 4 too. He was being a sort of shitty leader, even endangering the team’s life once. Wasn’t that the same reason he called Keith out for? And Keith hadn’t even really been jeopardizing the team’s safety. But Shiro was. It was very unlike Shiro.

He was acting like a shitty leader. Jeopardizing the team’s safety. Brushing off a team member’s suggestion(like an ass):

Like oh my god, the last screenshot SCREAMS: NOT SHIRO. Keith had pointed out something so important. But he just brushed it off. I don’t remember Shiro doing this in the first two seasons. So why now?

He acted like an ass to the team the whole season. Almost getting them killed, brushing off their suggestions. That does not seem very leader-like to me. And definitely not Shiro-like.

He’s definitely not the Shiro from season 1 and 2.

I also wanted to link this point made by @lanceskincare. She’s made an excellent point and I wanted to add it.

See, I don’t see the point in the creators changing Shiro’s character design, tbh. Why would they change it for no reason? There must have been a reason they changed his character designs so drastically and argh that ugly ass haircut.

Also, Shiro’s mental illness was a huge part of his character plot. So what happened to it in this season? In the previous season, in the episode where Shiro escapes, he had a lot of time alone. And we’ve seen what our Shiro is like when he’s left all alone, especially with triggers. Shiro had literally just escaped the place from where his PTSD stems, and he didn’t have a single panic attack or flashback. Again, Kuron only had Shiro’s memories, not his feelings. Not the feelings of terror and horror from Shiro’s time with the Galra. None of the fear associated with those memories. Nothing.

So with all this, the real question is how Shiro disappeared in the first place? Especially despite the close bond him and Black had. Shiro even had a flashback and panic attack when he was piloting Black once, so Black would know how much being in a Galra ship terrifies him. Yet, it was from inside Black’s cockpit, that Shiro vanished. Black wouldn’t do this to Shiro, ever. She was happier with Shiro, and obviously cared for him. So if it wasn’t Black then who? And how?

It was Haggar. I don’t know what you think about this but hear me out. 

First let’s just go over the events of his disappearance. They were fighting with Zarkon, and they were overpowered for one moment. But then Shiro used his bayard, which was connected to the lion, which formed a sword and they managed to beat Zarkon. But right after they land the blow, there’s a huge purple explosion:

(This screen cap is after the explosion because everything went white after the attack and anime visuals)

And then all the lions are scattered:

Black flies back on her own back to the castle after that, and Shiro goes missing here. 

Now in these course of events, did you notice anything odd? One, the lions are scattered, with shouldn’t really happen because we’ve seen Voltron land huge blows without this happening. Which means there was an internal damage. The head goes missing, the one who forms Voltron. Shiro. 

Two, you realize after what this happened, right? After Shiro used the bayard. I know there was an interval where they attacked but I’ll explain everything eventually.

So sidetracking a little: Honerva. We know that she was always an inquisitive person. Someone who was always eager to, and strived hard to learn more. The quintessence she was working with made her lose control over this curiosity. She became hungry to learn more. Thirsty for any information, any knowledge about anything - but particularly about quintessence. 

We also know that Zarkon had the Black Paladin’s bayard for 10,000 years. And the Red Lion.

Now I know that the Red Lion had his particle barrier up all the time, but this is Honerva we’re talking about. We know what she’s capable of. If I’m right about the clone thing, this probably wasn’t a big thing for her. She’s pretty well-versed with quintessence.

I just think it’d be more suspicious that Honerva had the bayard for 10,000 years, and didn’t mess with it once. That doesn’t seem very much like her to me. If she can meddle with the dead, she’s ready to do anything imo. 

So this is what I think must have happened (I’m not sure about the timelines but I’ll mention that too):

Honerva found a way to bug the Black Paladin’s bayard in such a way, that if it was used from within the lion, it could teleport or carry it’s user to where ever she had planned for it to. She had Red, and he had the particle barrier up so she must have found a way past both the particle barrier and the lions’ inner walls. I mean, this is Haggar and 10,000 years, so I wouldn’t really call it a reach.

Now, about when she might have done this. I’m not sure if Haggar was doing this with Zarkon’s permission. He had only one lion and I don’t think he would have let her mess with it. But yea, like that’s gonna stop her.

But in the beginning, I think she must have started it with Zarkon’s acknowledgement and permission. This project must have started right after the fall of Altea. While Altea was what they had considered their greatest threat, this was the beginning of the Galra Empire, and they did not have any allies. Without allies and a hell lot of opposition, I’m sure Honerva must have considered something like our paladins, she isn’t stupid. But I don’t think she expected it to take 10,000 years. Whatever opposition they were expecting was in the beginning, so that must have been when Zarkon let her mess with the bayard and experiment on Red. I’m sure this is where she bugged the bayard.

Or, this must have been where she had planned to bug the bayard. The way the Galra Empire rose, I don’t think they must have faced heavy opposition. At least not anything they considered a threat. So she must have laid off these plans. But then the paladins showed up. And Allura. 

If Haggar could craft such powerful monsters in such a limited time, she had plenty of time, even after the paladins’ first appearance to mess with the bayard. And that’s what she did. 

That’s how Shiro disappeared. 

Black wasn’t responsible from the beginning. She must have been so confused herself. There was a huge explosion of quintessence when Shiro attacked Zarkon. But it wasn’t all from Shiro’s attack alone. It was Haggar’s magic too. The magic she had bugged the bayard with, and the magic she kidnapped Shiro with. 

But I could be totally wrong about this, you know. I just don’t think it makes sense. Haggar had the bayard for 10,000 years, and she does nothing? That doesn’t seem like her at all. And I’m positive Black had nothing to do with Shiro’s disappearance. 

Another thing (this is may definitely be a stretch but): they removed Keith from this season entirely. We know that Keith and Shiro were very close. So I think Keith would have eventually been able to figure out that this is not his big brother. I can tell when my siblings are acting fishy, but if they act completely different, yet not so much, I think I’d be able to tell they were a clone(this will probably never happen in real life lol, thou just in case, I know I’d be able to tell). It’s the same thing with Keith, if he was there longer, I think he’d have figured out that this Shiro is not the one who taught him so much. Who didn’t give up on him. Who made Keith realize that family wasn’t formed only from blood relations, but also through bonds.

And then Lance. I feel Lance might figure this out (with or without Keith). He’s come from a big family, he’ll know. He might already feel something’s off, but Shiro’s Lance’s hero. He means a lot to him. He looks up to Shiro. So maybe that’s why he’s shrugging off Shiro’s odd behavior.

Maybe they stalled off the Clone Shiro arc, because it would be coincidental with Lance’s character arc. Because Lance standing up to his role model, his hero, will be a huge step for him. I feel Keith going to be there a lot for Lance next season. Especially after all their development in season 3. Maybe after they both figure this out, one of them will try to subtly bring this up, and the other will pick up on this and realize they weren’t alone. This might also simply be wishful thinking, so yea... But I’m clinging on to Black Paladin Lance with every last bit of my soul.

I don’t know, but I strongly feel Lance’s character arc’s gonna be with the Clone Shiro arc. And then we might even get Black Paladin Lance (and co-leadership Klance).

These are just what I felt and me putting it out there. It’s okay if you disagree, it’s just observations I made about Shiro and where they were going with it. I just don’t feel that this Shiro is our Shiro. Everything about him seems off.

Also, let’s not forget ALL those metas and observations made about Shiro and Kuron when the previous season came out. Those, imo, are still valid. 

Because why make Shiro disappear and then never talk about it or what happened?

Remember when Shiro first came from the Galra? He lost his memories from that time, and there were so many instances where the creators kept emphasizing on Shiro trying to remember them. So why doesn’t he care anymore all of a sudden. 

Not only that, Shiro hasn’t had one flashback or panic attack since he’s come back. I’m not saying he should; mental illnesses are painful and terrible, if anything I know that. But I don’t see how someone can be transported to their source of trauma and come back magically healed. He’d been transported back to the Galra, from inside Black’s cockpit, to his source of trauma, and he’s never once thought about it? If it was the real Shiro, the Shiro who had PTSD, he would have been justifiably terrified to even go near Black, let alone into her cockpit. 

Or are the creators just going to pretend Shiro suddenly became a terrible leader, developed a terrible fashion sense and had his mental illness miraculously cured? That’d be terrible plot line, and I believe in them, I know this isn’t something they’d do. In fact, in a whole, this season (besides the first two and the last episodes), seemed more like a filler. Or something they did to reduce how heavy the previous episodes were, since you know, season 3 and season 4 were supposed to be one season.

There’s this thread on twitter by @koganya on s3/4 Shiro that I totally agree with.

tl;dr: We’re going to get a proper Clone Shiro Arc (and possibly Lance’s Character Arc and Black Paladin Lance) next season, where they might even deal with Shiro’s mental illness. 

On another note: if anyone has any ideas or thoughts about this, ones that you’d like me to know or add here, feel free to message me. I’d love to hear others opinions on this.

Edit: So I was thinking about why they would possibly drag this Clone Shiro thing, and I realized that they weren’t. Season 3 and 4 were originally meant to be one season. This whole thing was set up in such a way, that in the beginning when they found Shiro we’d feel he wasn’t our Shiro but then the later half was supposed to make us dubious. But since the season was split, we got the first half much earlier, and had a lot of time to over-analyze the shit out of this. 

Honestly this was such the stupid observation wtf am I doing??!! Lmao, I’m sorry, my brain compelled me to put this here.

[lunarymagic]

This is the kind of person I am:

A Tool fan: So I've noticed that the album has 13 tracks, a Fibonacci number, and a line in one of their songs gave me some clues on how to reorder the album to what I think gives the true meaning of the album...

Some Tool fans: OMG this order makes much more sense! Some songs flow into each other better! There's hidden meaning! This was Tool's true message all along!

Other Tool fans: WTF?! The original order is better! Why are you breaking tracks that are SUPPOSED to be together?!?! This isn't what Tool intended! You're delusional about any ~hidden meanings~! How is THAT the Fibonacci sequence?!?! You're stupid!

Me: Ooo, this is inspiring a story. :3

Inspired by all the wank I’m seeing among fans over the Holy Gift. I like it. It’s giving me story ideas. :D :P

In case anyone wants to try out Tool and not sure where to start, I recommend the song Lateralus. It’s basically about birth and life, and seizing the day. Hard to explain, but I feel happy when I hear it. :)

Spiral out; keep going!

[chazzfox]

The King and the Ice-Devouring Sex Tornado

JJ needs to recover from his bad loss somehow. The method he has chosen is...unconventional.

Hey he needs to feel on top of something! But he doesn't even get that. ...listen, I...I couldn’t shake this bizarre idea okay I don’t know why I do these things wtf. THIS IS A DIRTY STORY THIS IS PORN PORN PORN

Having lost the Grand Prix, JJ was pretty damn pissed. Yea, people still cheered for him and yes he got engaged and really as far as treatment for a loser, everyone was pretty cool to him. The banquet was okay and enough people broke into the venue to talk about how great he was to help him get through the night.

He also got damn wasted too. That helped a lot. He was so drunk that it didn't matter that he tripped over a very angry Yuri five times or that he walked into a very dark corner and found Viktor getting his dick sucked. In fact good for Viktor, stuffing his cock down that Japanese kid's throat! That's something winners got! He'd found himself wondering why Yuri hadn't snuck off with the far less cool undercut and started getting himself a treat but it was not his problem.

So the night was entertaining and he got to suck face with his girl when he wasn't walking into irritating situations. And when he left he had a line of fans screaming and taking his pictures and he signed one lady's baby.

Life wasn't so bad, until he got back to Canada and had to immediately worry about brushing up and making a new routine and costume and all that shit. In the past it hadn't been an issue because he knew his song could literally be anything and he could dress in a potato sack and he would just be amazing. His loyal fans would still be passing out in the stands and aisles and bathrooms. He'd get a crown and a free year of all the Tim Hortons a human being could stand.

It was wasted on him because he refused to give up his figure for donuts.

The point was, he had to buckle down and put in a little more work and effort than he usually did while at the same time still feeling the crushing blow of his fall from the top. He didn't even know what could fix it.

One morning, while half listening to his coach, he learned that there was a touring group of American skaters in Montreal. They were older ones, not currently competing and more interested in getting into exhibitions and the like. In other words, they were skaters he might have watched a while ago, but had little interest in for the time being.

Except for one. And when he heard his name...

"I have something to do tonight," he said abruptly, and decided to leave practice.

"Excuse me?" his coach asked, incredulous.

"You heard me. The king has plans," JJ quipped, and strolled out even to the tune of his coach pointing out that it was, in fact, still morning.

JJ needed the whole day to plan. He needed the day to think. He needed the day to prepare himself. He needed the day to pick out a good outfit.

Later that night he found himself walking down a street in Montreal, headed for the super expensive hotel the skaters were holding up in. He was wearing his tightest pair of jeans, the ones that really made his ass pop. His top was a simple white tee with a big red maple leaf, the symbol of his home country.

Under the leaf was the text "King JJ", because in the end he decided not to play humble. He wore a red and white jacket over it and okay, maybe he hadn't spent the whole day planning his outfit - more like five minutes. But he didn't want to wear something great and then get it all messed up.

Upon arriving at the hotel lobby, it wasn't hard to pick out his target, chatting with some apparent fangirls, and he marched right up to him. The older skater didn't seem to notice him at first, his eyes totally on the girls, but JJ shoved right through. "Chazz Michael Michaels?" he asked, extending his hand.

The larger, older man with the practically flowing dark brown hair suddenly looked at him. He studied JJ quickly as he took his hand and shook it. "You got 'im."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Jean-Jacques Leroy, or, JJ."

"Hey, kid." Chazz nodded and smiled at him. "You want an autograph?"

"Um, no." How did Chazz NOT know his name? He could get it if he was from one of those Kaarblarghalstan places across the ocean, but he was from Canada. He was from America's much nicer older brother. "You haven't heard of me?"

Chazz raised an eyebrow. "Should I?"

"I'm kind of a big deal here in Canada," JJ bragged, and gave Chazz an annoyed look. "I almost won the Grand Prix, you know."

"Almost means you didn't. Tough luck man." Chazz gave his shoulder an all too rough shoulder squeeze. "Anyway you came to meet your idols?"

"Sort of." JJ sighed. He was going to have to do things the hard way. "Can I buy you a drink at the bar?"

"Are you old enough dude?" Chazz asked with a snort. "Are you 21?"

"Quebec drinking age is 18." JJ rolled his eyes. "What do you like to drink?"

"Some whiskey." Chazz looked truly interested then, and turned away as a few other fans made to approach him. "Yea, buy me some whiskey."

JJ gave him some finger guns. "Hell yea, you got it."

And so, he bought him whiskey. He bought him a lot of whiskey and boy was it a good thing JJ was stupid rich because Chazz Michael Michaels drank a lot. No wonder he had somewhat of a beer gut! JJ found that kind of gross, but at the same time...intriguing, which he supposed helped him out.

He talked to Chazz about all sorts of things, about skating, about his leatherwork, about his time in Denver with Jimmy MacElroy (who, as it turned out, was teaching a skating class and unable to accompany his partner), and so on. Chazz was an open book on just about everything JJ brought up, even his sex addiction. JJ made sure when they were on that topic that he casually leaned forward on the bar stool and touched Chazz's thighs. Chazz's gaze would drop down to JJ's hands, but he never said anything.

When Chazz was good and drunk and turned down anymore whiskey, JJ helped him up to his hotel room and thankfully Chazz was rooming alone. Good. That was good for his plans. It took a while to get up there because Chazz was the kind of drunk who would get distracted by....most things, but eventually, JJ got him into his room.

He couldn't quite place the smell of the room, but while it looked in order for the most part, it smelled like a lumberjack took a nap in there.

Once Chazz was in, JJ took off his own shoes and jacket, then proceeded to take off Chazz's shoes and shirt. Chazz immediately wandered into the bathroom, so JJ went to the king size bed and said on the edge, leaning back to make himself look all sexy and delicious.

When Chazz exited the bathroom, he gave JJ a strange look. "Yea I don't really tend to hang out in the hotel room man, I only bring people back for sex," he said with a laugh.

"I know." JJ stayed where he was, examining Chazz.

Chazz's super smart look suddenly dropped from his face. "So uh...ah, you do..."

JJ sighed. "Yes. See, he's the thing Chazz. I suffered a pretty shitty loss in Barcelona. It was awful. Really awful, and I gotta bounce back. You know what I need to do to achieve greatness?" he asked.

"Not a goddamn clue," Chazz said, looking confused.

"I realized I need to fuck greatness."

Chazz stared, and then realization dawned on him. Slowly, but it did land. "What? You mean to fuck me."

Yep. He really did. And hell, his fiancee knew, and she'd laughed at the idea but told him to go for it because shit, she wanted to hear all about it. Damn she was cool! "I do." JJ hesitated, but then pulled off his shirt. He was one hot piece and he was well aware of it. A damn good sturdy body hid beneath his clothes and he loved showing it off.

His concern was hold Chazz would react. The older man regarded him, looking kind of unsure. "So, you came here to use me for sex." Chazz stared some more, and then to JJ's surprise, removed his own black and gold, extra clingy shirt to let his skater's body right out. "Fuck it, I'm down! It's been like two days since I had any sort of sex."

That was easier than expected, and JJ had to stop his eyes from going wide. "I...yea, good, exactly. Okay-"

"Get on the bed then, you are about to be seriously Chazzledazzled," Chazz promised him, already stripping himself of his jeans.

Alarm bells went off in JJ's mind. HE was supposed to be the one on top, but that wasn't the feeling he was suddenly getting. He decided to go with it, though, and backed off on the bed to get comfortable. "Alright, but you know-"

Chazz was on him in seconds, down to nothing but black undies and a wolf fang necklace. "You thought you were gonna fuck me?" he asked, crawling over JJ. "Open up those pants," he said and his stare was so hungry, so almost predatory that it urged JJ to hurry.

He popped open his jeans and lifted his hips, only to have Chazz finish yanking them off. He revealed JJ's tight dark red boxers. Chazz grinned and wasted no time in cupping his junk through the material. JJ gasped, not expecting that to happen so soon.

Chazz rubbed his thumb over JJ's covered balls, and then sought out his still soft dick and grabbed it through his underwear. "Oooh. You're gonna be fun. So have you ever been fucked in the ass?"

"My girlfriend used a strap-on a few times, but hey! I came here to fuck YOU, and after I bought you all that whiskey, that's what I intend to do." JJ wanted to stay firm on that detail.

"Huh." Chazz stared up at him and then back down at his crotch. "A strap-on. Quaint. Doubt it's anything compared to my massive package. Hey, lemme throw you a bone," Chazz said, tugging at the waistband of JJ's boxers.

Oh God. JJ hadn't really thought about being naked in front of Chazz. He'd been naked around guys in locker rooms and all that and it was no big deal, but sex was involved, sex where he would be bottoming... "What are you talking about?" he asked, annoyed. But he did lift his hips and allowed Chazz to pull down his boxers to reveal his nice long dick with a slight left curve.

"Oooooooh...me likey," was all Chazz said at first, taking in the sight of what JJ had to offer. He took JJ's cock in his hand, making JJ hiss. "You are long, very nice," he commented. "Let's get you where I need you," he said, and he took all of JJ's dick right in his big, wet mouth.

"Ah!" JJ's hips jerked, not expecting that. He didn't expect any of it! Chazz's tongue was working around his shaft, licking with expert pressure. He dipped into his slit and caressed the head, his thumb and forefinger wrapped around the base.

Oh, shit. Chazz was good, really good! JJ knew that, he'd heard it, but he hadn't thought Chazz was going to be on his dick in that way. But he was, sucking on JJ like he was a piece of maple candy. His cock was quickly hardening and he reached down for Chazz's hair.

Chazz didn't seem to mind the hands grasping at his hair. He seemed encouraged and kept working that long, beautiful erection, fitting as much in his mouth as he could while teasing the rest with his fingers. JJ moaned and surprised himself with it. He wasn't supposed to be reduced to a puddle!

Then Chazz let his dick slip from his mouth and smirked up at him. "Ya like that?"

"Uhn..." JJ jerked his hips up a couple of times, asking for more, because suddenly he didn't have shit to say.

Chazz shook his head and slid further up his body. "Nope. No more of that." He licked a line up JJ's chest. "Just wanted you good and hard." He went to one of JJ's nipples and sucked on it and sucked <i>hard</i>.

It almost hurt. "Chazz! Careful I...hey!" He yelped in surprised when Chazz outright bit the sensitive nub and then flicked it with his tongue.

Chazz laughed against his skin. "How often you get your nips played with, JJ man?" he aasked and switched to the other. He teased that one more with his tongue, flicking back and forth in a way that had JJ feeling desperate for something to rub his dick on. He had one hand in Chazz's hair still and another grabbing the blankets, white-knuckled as the attention to his nipple was almost too much.

Before moving on Chazz sucked on it good and hard, and moved up to JJ's neck. He licked the nape of his neck too and it was almost disgusting. But something about Chazz made it so hot, the way his hairy chest dragged up his body, the way his tongue just did as it pleased, the way Chazz himself just took control.

He bit on JJ's neck, sucked on it, and had the poor man achingly hard. JJ had never been so fucking hard in his life, he was sure! No wonder people referred to Chazz as a sex god! "Chazz - ah...CHAZZ!"

And then Chazz silenced him by kissing him. He wasted no time in shoving his tongue in his mouth and letting it probe around. JJ was breathing through his nose as Chazz took his mouth and shifted his entire body on top of him. He could feel the massive erection Chazz sported through his underwear and he swallowed.

His ass was going to be cracked in half! And he really wanted it!

Chazz thrust against him deliciously, his cock rubbing JJ's. "I am going to fuck you SO hard," Chazz informed him, smirking at him and biting his bottom lip as he moved against him. "Spread those fucking legs."

And the king obeyed. His legs opened right up and Chazz slid between them, still thrusting. Though he was still behind fabric, JJ swore he felt that shaft going for his asshole.

"You are not gonna be able to walk right. You just wait. Ah fuck. Fuck!"

And then Chazz backed off him and was reaching for the stand next to the bed. There was a tube and JJ knew exactly what that tube was and his heart was beating faster. He propped himself up on his elbows. "Is that-"

"Yea, this is lube." He was covering his fingers with it. "It's the good stuff too! Makes an ass real easy to get into. Also good when working on your car, sometimes."

JJ didn't ask. What he did do was allow Chazz to spread his legs and get between them, pulling them up and over his shoulder's. JJ dick, balls and asshole were now on display and his cheeks absolutely burned. That was not what he had been planning, not at all! He was the king! The bare asshole was supposed to be in front of him! Though, maybe he didn't want to stick his finger's in another guy's ass...

Chazz lubed up two fingers and pressed them against JJ's entrance. JJ didn't have the chance to question the use of two digits before they were pushed into him.

He let out a cry as those fingers went in knuckle deep but they weren't so bad. "Oh," he commented at first. And then Chazz spread them and and started scissoring them inside his ass. "OH!"

"Uh huh," Chazz was breathy in response, obviously eager. "Ooooh you have a good ass. This is going to be the fucking tits. Oh man."

"I-I do?" JJ managed to ask.

"Yea! I can tell you've shoved some goods in here before, but you're still tight. Oh man." He took out the two fingers and then inserted a third. And then, well, he started finger-fucking JJ hard. "Damn!"

"Aaaah! I-aaaah! Chazz!" JJ had never really been finger-fucked. The strap-on was one thing, but the fingers, spreading, thrusting, crooking, they were getting to him! He tried to jam his hips down on them because while it did hurt, it still felt pretty good.

Chazz laughed. "Man you are a slut for getting it in the ass!" Chazz took out his fingers and then slapped the back of JJ's thigh hard.

Oh. Oh no. JJ immediately went quiet while his dick nearly stood straight up in interest. He felt hot all over, and eager. Chazz was quiet too and the two looked at each other.

Then Chazz was pushing at his body. "Hands and knees now. Now!" he commanded.

JJ scrambled to comply. He turned over and stuck his ass in the air, resting down on his elbows. Yea, his bare ass up like that, waving around like a damn beacon was shameful but he didn't care.

And when Chazz landed a hard slap on one of his cheeks, he cried out and cared about the same even less, because it felt good.

"Oh shit!" Chazz yelled and spanked him hard again on the other side. "Shit! I didn't expect this - damn!" He slapped his ass again and it was sure to leave a mark, but JJ didn't care. His mind was gone entirely, his ass begging for punishment as he drooled more on the bed. Another slap landed and his cock started leaking.

Chazz paused and he heard a noise, the bottle of lube again. Then he heard a squishing sound which told him Chazz was lubing up. He hadn't even seen his bare dick yet but JJ was eager. "Fuck me!" he said loudly and scared himself. But...yes, that's what he wanted. "Fuck me and spank the ever-living shit out of me Chazz! FUCK ME!!" He screamed the last two words and shoved his ass back at Chazz.

"Damn!" Chazz lined up with his hole and he felt the head pushing in. "Damn you want it bad!" He started pushing in his cock and sure enough, it was huge and JJ was worried his hole wouldn't accomadate it.

And so he shoved his ass roughly back on it and Chazz yelled as his dick was suddenly buried in the other man. But then he grabbed JJ's hips and just started going. He didn't even try to go slow and adjust himself how JJ needed and JJ was glad. He would have forced his hips back anyway.

With Chazz's fingers digging hard into his hips and dragging his asshole onto his thick shaft every thrust, he didn't have to. He was being absolutely fucking nailed and he loved it! Chazz's cock was hitting his sweet spot and his hips pounding against him with lewd noises.

JJ was reduced to a lot of loud moaning, writhing on the bed under him and going to fist his own cock. He was so hard and so close to the edge and he was throbbing. Chazz nailed him hard. He wasn't holding back as he shook JJ's whole body with each hard ramming.

Finally Chazz slapped his ass again while he was fucking him. He slapped it twice, three times hard and JJ was screaming his name while coming hard in his hand. He squeezed himself good, shooting his load all over the bed as he saw nothing but a white hot flash. The orgasm rocked his body and Chazz just kept going through it. JJ felt everything pouring forth from his heavy balls and when he was done, he thought he was going to collapse.

Chazz pulled out suddenly and he cried out at the loss, falling on the bed on his chest and stomach. It felt good even though his dick didn't like getting squished against the now sticky blanket.

He was there for a split second before Chazz rolled him over and straddled his chest. JJ finally had a good look at that long, thick shaft and if he had been able to, he'd have gone stiff again immediately.

But he couldn't, and there was no time anyway. Chazz wrapped his hand around his cock, gave it a few good pumps and with a deep, animal like grunt he came in hot strings all over JJ's face. JJ closed his eyes in surprise as come landed on his nose, cheeks, lips, forehead. He was absolutely covered in it and it was so hot.

When he opened his eyes Chazz wa panting above him, his legs shaking on either side of JJ. He stayed there for a minute and then lifted a leg over him and fell on the bed beside him.

For something like ten or fifteen minutes the two just laid there, panting and catching their breaths. JJ was in a state of bliss and disbelief. He had never, ever climaxed so hard! He had never wanted to be fucked in the ass so bad either! And spanked? Forget about it! He was dominant, he was the KING.

But Chazz, ice-skating's backdoor lover, had completely claimed him and screwed him all up. He had flipped his plan upside down and given him something else entirely. And to top it off? JJ couldn't even pretend to be upset!

As good as the sex was, though, JJ gradually came back down to earth and realized he had to go. He'd already been later than he meant thanks to how much Chazz drank at the damn bar. He didn't think they'd be there that long.

He carefully sat up and winced. Moving his body made him suddenly aware that his ass was in a lot of pain. A LOT. He was going to have some trouble walking - maybe he'd take a cab back to where he was staying.

"Want some room service? They serve the best burgers here!" Chazz said, looking at him as he got up.

JJ was locating his underwear. "Aha, thanks, but no thanks. I actually have to go," he said, getting it on.

"Wait whaaaat?" Chazz sat up. "Seriously? Look, I'll pay for the burger!"

JJ shrugged. "Sorry. I actually didn't mean to be out so late." He grabbed the edge of the blanket and wiped his own come off his stomach.

"Damn." Chazz grinned. "But hey, at least you got your freakin' world rocked tonight. It solve your problem, buddy? I mean you didn't get to fuck greatness, but greatness pounded you iinto a screaming sex haze, and that's almost as good."

He kind of had to agree. It didn't work out exactly the way he wanted, but a sex god had still climbed on top of him and enjoyed the shit out of him. JJ felt his ego get an extra stroke, which was what it badly needed.

And it helped, honestly, that he found Chazz likeable. As in, he felt kind of bad just leaving the guy naked and alone in the hotel room. At the same time he kind of knew Chazz didn't mind. Chazz knew he was a king, and he had other things to attend to.

As he got dressed he responded. "You know what? Thanks. You did help. And that was great. More than great. You're reputation is there for a reason." JJ genuinely meant that.

"Hey, no problem. You need help again, you march that ass over here and look me up, you got it! And hey." Chazz tapped his own head. "You are going into the Michaels Spank Bank. Most people make it there, but I've forgotten their names and faces."

Another stroke to his ego. "Cool. I'm going to wash my face and get going."

"Alright buddy. Take care of that ass and stretch it out every now and then."

JJ laughed. "Sure."

Minutes later he had left, the hotel room door closed behind him. Walking caused some pain and his legs trembled a little. His butt was sore inside and out. Who knew he liked spanking?

The pain meant little to him. He felt good. He felt rejuvenated. He felt like he could kick literally anybody's ass and that was incredible.

The motherfucking king was BACK.

[salistenandreview]

My thoughts on Eurovision 2018--reviews by country

So, I consider myself metal, or at the very least, rock n roll. I don’t really fit the stereotype, but it’s the music I grew up on and it has been my one everlasting love my whole life.

That being said, I have a sort of annual tradition that I started sometime in the past 10 years. One summer I visited Germany and learned of Eurovision, a song contest held in the European countries as a way to promote peace yet give the natives of each country a sense of pride in their country competing through music. (I guess soccer isn’t enough, or isn’t peaceful enough.)

Anyway, since then, I’ve always made it a point to go to https://eurovision.tv/ and see what songs and what countries are in the contest each year. I’m doing my reviews of these songs/videos pretty much at the last minute this year, since the contest is going to be over come Saturday.

So I crammed and watched all the videos tonight. My notes for my impressions of each country are listed below, in alphabetical order. The majority of these songs are generic pop, which I find rather disappointing. Last year had much better submissions overall.

My TOP 5 favorites this year are: 1--Hungary 2--Czech Republic 3--Switzerland 4--Denmark and 5--Iceland If I hadn't heard Switzerland and been impressed, Norway and Moldova would have been on here tied for #5 for me, but Switzerland jumped up there and bumped them

NOW, without further ado:

Albania--As it’s not in English I don’t know what this song is about (reading the lyrics translation tells me it’s a standard love song), BUT I really like the sound of it. The performance art looking stuff for the video is pretty neat too.

Armenia--OK, I’m digging this too. It’s definitely not dancey pop. It’s more intense. It could be mistaken for a metal band’s ballad. The visuals from the video are pretty decent too.

Australia--This lady has a nice voice, but the song overall is generic pop and not really grabbing me.

Austria--More radio friendly generic pop. But I’m betting the dance remix to this would be interesting at raves

Azerbaijan--And here comes the dancey pop. Nothing really to say about this song. It’s radio friendly, it works for background sound, but nothing that really grabs me.

Belarus--This video has some visual elements that make me cringe. The song overall flows pretty well. This song makes me think of Panic! At the Disco, but without Brendan Urie’s edginess to it

Belgium--This song is boring. It basically sounds like it belongs on a movie soundtrack as a song that is playing softly in the background while some low-key action is going on to take us into the next scene. *yawen*

Bulgaria--This song makes me think of Enigma. It’s synthesizers and airy fairy sounds.

Croatia--Croatian Mariah Carey does a sort of lounge act type song. But it’s all sizzle and no steak.

Cyprus--Definitely dancey dance pop, and the lyrics are kinda silly, but the song overall has a good sound to it, and this lady knows what she’s doing. No wonder in her country she is the “Queen of Pop”

Czech Republic--This guy is so dorky cute. I’m liking the jazz elements and he seems to know his way around how to rap and keep a good rhythm. As I’m doing these in alpha order, so far this one is BY FAR my favorite.

Denmark--Hello sexy vikings. This song belongs in an epic movie about viking heroes. Currently liking this one in spot #2 after Czech Republic

Estonia--This lady has a very beautiful operatic voice. The song overall is kinda meh though.

FYR Macedonia--First part of the song I keep thinking “This lady is singing pop music over the beat to one of the levels of Super Mario World”. Then after that, generic dancey pop.

Finland--Quick! Someone get Tobi Sammet to fix this song and make it more metal, the lyrics/melody are too good to be some weird ass pop song. The visuals have some good edginess to it. But for real, make this song metal and it will seriously kick some ass. If Tobi isn’t available, see what Devin and Andy Oliver of I See Stars can do with it.

France--As is often the case, the French somehow manage to be disappointing and lofty at the same time. The French participant last year was so much better.

Georgia-These men have very lovely voices, and the song is pretty. However, this sounds like a glorified college a cappella group.

Germany--Germany decided to chance it on a Youtuber this year. He does have a very nice voice, and this song could probably get played on any station where they play Bruno Mars. So to me, it’s good but it’s not great.

Greece--The song at the visuals work well together. Running through the woods on the search for something. This is another song that sounds like it should be in some epic movie with vikings or knights or something like that in it.

Hungary--FINALLY! Someone decided to give something metal another shot. It’s low-key metal but the elements are there. This one just jumped to my #1

Iceland--aww, this boy is so precious. I want to hug him and protect him forever. He’s a beautiful singer and the song is pretty without being boring. He’s currently my #4

Ireland--Another angel-voiced boy singing about love in a sad way, so another song that could be played on the radio on a station that plays Bruno Mars. While this song doesn’t grab me, the gay-positive vibes from the video might be what wins Ireland the contest. But I personally put this on about the same level as the song from Germany, it’s good but not particularly great.

Israel--I have no clue what this lady is doing. This song is wtf? Did Desiigner write this song for her?  I”m very confused and a little scared.

Italy--Nope, just nope. These guys don’t even sound like they are singing, but just sort of chanting along in a rhythm that isn’t consistent, with some background music in. Way to flop, Italy.

Latvia--I mean, yeah, I see what you’re doing here...but hasn’t this been done a million times already? Very generic female vocalist pop.

Lithuania--If I liked this girl’s voice (something about it kind of annoys me), I’d probably like the song more. It’s kind of boring piano based pop though.

Malta--This song took over a third of the video’s time before it actually started, and then once it did it really went nowhere fast except to generic dancey-pop town. With the buildup of the visuals I was hoping for a bit more of something.

Moldova--I’m a little surprised but I actually rather like this song a lot. I think I’ll put it as #5 for me currently. Maybe it’s just a refreshing break from all the disappointment of the preceding songs with their overdone dancey pop.

Montenegro--Digging the visuals, the guy has a good voice. The song sounds like one a minor character would sing in an opera, where he whines that he’s not a major character because he isn’t loved enough to be anything more than a sidekick

Norway--OK, this is delightful. It hearkens back to 80’s videos on MTV. So cute. Tied with Moldova for #5 currently

Poland--more generic pop that sounds exactly the same as the other generic pop. They even have the same chords.

Portugal--I pretty much just skipped through this video on like 6 seconds intervals, and nothing EVER changed. Boring.

Romania--This song took forever to go somewhere. Lots of potential (once it finally picks up and starts doing something) but just doesn’t make it up there in the top 5 for me.

Russia--once again, boring generic pop. And I think Russia is trying to win a sympathy vote or something. *SMH*

San Marino--Generic pop, with a girl who raps, and robots. Um, ok.

Serbia--This song went all over the place. Epic, tribal, pop. I don’t hate it. But not entirely on board with it. Seems like it’s trying just a bit too hard

Slovenia--nice choreography. It’s a simple pop beat, but it’s not beating a dead horse like a lot of the other pop stuff above.

Spain--OK, it’s a sweet love song. But I’m not really digging either of their voices. Too whiney sounding

Sweden--OK Sweden, 2 things. 1--You did this before with Erik Saade, and frankly he was much better at it. 2--All these other countries are submitting Bruno Mars sounding boys, and if you’re not going to go metal (which you’re the best in the world at, btw), can’t you at least submit someone who is really fucking edgy like Tove Lo???  You make me sad Sweden. This boy is ok, he’s adorable, but the song is bland.

Switzerland--I honestly thought I was going to hate this, a brother/sister duo? But I am very pleasantly surprised and this song kicks some ass! I’m putting it at #3 between Czech Republic and Denmark

The Netherlands--I seriously appreciate that there’s some songs on here that’s not boring generic pop. But this sounds like country music. This would be in my top 10 but not my top 5.

Ukraine--This guy is sexy. The song is pretty good. Better than good, but still not great. It makes top 10 but not top 5.

The UK--More generic pop. I don’t know why I bothered, since the UK in particular never really even TRIES with this contest. They just phone it in.

[sapphicsurveys]

Is popularity a social disease? It depends. With politicians and such, it can become a disease. A disease that costs us all. Would you want to be a hippie? Yes!!! I’m really open-minded and I love reggae and different colours...I’ve thought about retreating into the hippie lifestyle before, not gonna lie... In college, were you ever given exams with extremely broad and deep questions such as, 'Why?' or 'What is truth?' I’m in college right now. I had a philosophy class, but I had to withdraw from it, so...yeah... Have you knowingly destroyed an endangered plant or animal? No. Actually, I don’t know which plants are endangered, so maybe unknowingly for plants... Did your parents bronze your first pair of baby shoes? I have no clue. Do you check for a train when crossing tracks in your car even though the arms aren't down? I don’t drive. Is there gossip going around about you right now? As always, there’s a bunch of fandom tea. I don’t really pay attention to the drama of people IRL, probably because I prefer to keep my circle small anyway. How many comic strips do you read daily: None (and I CANNOT get into manga.) If you were hiding from a burglar, would you hide in the closet or under the bed? Under the bed would be more logical, but I couldn’t fit under there.  What do you most commonly use milk for: drinking or cooking? Drinking. Who should provide the condoms in a relationship: the man or the woman? The man. His dick, his issue. His responsibility if she gets pregnant, not hers. That’s how an ideal world would work. Are you ever afraid that people hate you and they're just acting like they don't? I mean, it’s true, so, LMAO. When you're crossing the street with other people, do you ever feel a need to get to the other side first? No, I take my time, because I don’t wanna get hit by a car. Should people be able to go to college without a high school diploma if they score high enough on entrance tests? No, it would fuck up your life cycle. You learn a lot about yourself through high school. High school was never about learning about subjects anyway. Would you be embarrassed if people could hear you talking to your pets? No, everyone does it. If elephants were bred to a smaller size and sold as house pets, would you want one? Sure! Do you refer to people as 'dude'? When I’m annoyed at someone and trying to make my point. Do you remember the last time you wrote a 'snail mail' letter? Does my voting application count? Do you think beards/mustaches make men look older than they actually are? Depends on the man... Are you usually the one to initiate sex with your significant other? No, I prefer masturbation to sex, TBH. When I’m dating a girl when she wants sex I usually just want to cuddle LOL. I want to fantasize about her and pleasure myself to that but not actually do it with her...??? That wouldn’t make me asexual, IDK WTF it would make me. When you're having trouble burping when you feel like you need to, does patting yourself on the chest seem to help? I don’t have trouble burping. Do you have your wallet with you right now? No, it’s in my bag by my bed. If it ever came down to a final battle between good and evil and you knew that evil was going to win, who would you fight for? Evil, because if I fought for good, it would be pointless since it lost anyway, and evil would have a grudge against me so it might send me to a prison camp or something. But if I fight on evil’s side, maybe I can be pimpin’. Do you feel guilty when you borrow money from your parents? I don’t really borrow money from them. Do you constantly have times where you have no money and then earn a lot of money and you don't know what to do with it? No. Do you always see yourself as the protagonist in the story of your life? Obviously. I’m the protagonist of MY life....of course, not the world’s though... Can you drive by a car accident without staring? I’m not the one driving ever, so I can stare without feeling guilty, I guess. Do you find it a challenge to congratulate your opponent who just beat you in a game or competition? Yes. I’m super competitive and salty. Do you think that no matter how cold or heartless someone seems there is always at least one thing in the world that they love? Yes. Sociopaths may not love people, but they sure can love things. Who is worse: Someone who doesn't repay a loan or someone that steals your CDs? I don’t know all this adulting BS. HELLPPPP. Why do you think so many homosexual men still go without condoms: because they don't know of the dangers, or because they don't care? It’s like a “fuck it” moment, probably. They’re like, “I’m horny, and at least no-one here can get pregnant, I probably won’t catch an STD, anyway.” Which is...wrong, a lot of the time, LOL. When you think about morality, do you think more in terms of good/bad people, or good/bad actions? Actions, 100%. Which of these female comedians is funnier: Ellen Degeneres or Margaret Cho? I’ve only heard of the second girl and not heard her jokes, but I don’t find Ellen really that funny. Are you scared of dying alone? I’m just scared of dying lol [2]. Are you most comfortable being treated by a doctor of the same sex as you? Of course, I don’t ever want to let a male get that intimate with me, LOL. Do you take daily walks? Yes, taking walks and listening to music is one of my favourite pastimes. Are there some slang terms you refuse to use? I don’t like a lot of the Gen Z’rs slang...I usually find myself using it anyway. Do you have a favorite pen that you use all the time? I wish I could have an aesthetic high-quality pen collection, it’s like my dream, but unfortunately I only have average ones. Have you ever changed an adult's diaper? WTF?? Do you think it's dangerous or a good thing when two very depressed people start to date each other? Dangerous. Y’all need to love yourselves before you love each other. Or else it’s just gonna be a constant flow of negativity. Do you know a game that is very stupid, yet very addicting? A lot of those dumb phone app games that make you pay for upgrades. Do you plan on having your children Christened/Baptised? I don’t want kids. Would regularly seeing videos of you interacting with people significantly improve your overall human effectiveness? That would be sooo much fun, but nothing I’d see would really surprise me. Have you ever misspelled 'misspell'? Nope. Have you ever stayed up for more than 24 hours to study for an exam? I’m not sure if I’ve ever even stayed up for that long. Have you ever been in the back of a moving truck? Nope. When you were young, did you know some pop stars were gay? Yeah. Do you have control over how much peace there is in your mind? Sometimes I can zone it out listening to ASMR videos. If you got a backstage pass at a concert, would you feel better than everyone else? Yeah, of course. Not gonna lie. Is your microwave any other color besides white? It’s black. Would you prefer a bagel or an entire breakfast in the morning? Full breakfast, baby. Breakfast is my favourite meal of the day. You can’t go wrong with it. Do you think that couples that elope have a better chance of staying together? The opposite. Do you know of a frozen dinner that tastes good? TBH, they all suck, but they’re still super convenient. I guess those Delimex Taquitos, if they count.. Will public restrooms no longer be separated by gender in the near future? Perhaps. If you do not eat red meat but eat fish are you a vegetarian? There’s a term. Pescatarian.  When you discard a piece of paper, which of the following are you more likely to do: rip it apart in pieces or crumple it? Rip it apart. Do you wear your pants and shorts above or below your waist line? Above, but I always have to pull them up because none of my clothes fucking fit me right. Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have a sex change operation? I want one. SOOOO BAD. In an ideal world I could become a man. I have huge dysphoria. But it ain’t gonna happen. Do you call margarine 'butter,' even though you know the difference? They’re very different, and that would be offensive to butter. Do you bathe less when you are depressed? I bathe more. Should the ASPCA and RSPCA ban the practice of kidney transplants in cats, since cats can't give consent for the surgery? ???? Would you ever drink from a bowl or cup made out of human bones? Yeah, why not? Does your car normally smell good? I don’t have a car. Do you think 9/11 will be the worst thing you will see in your life? Nah, crimes and attacks are happening day by day, who knows when the next huge one will be. Do you tend to do more research for school or papers at the library or on the internet? Internet. Don’t think anyone uses the library for that anymore. Do you have an outfit you wear that makes you feel like a star? No, but I have some graphic Tees that I’m pretty proud of. You are working at McDonald's frying meat. Your manager is being a jerk and you are ticked. A customer comes in and orders a 20-piece box of nuggets. Out of anger towards your manager, would you pack 20 or more, or 19 or less in that box? 20 or more. Give the people what they want. Once you've made up your mind about the kind of person someone is, can anything they say or do change it? Probably not. Is there a single person whose whole existence you might be interested in studying? Yeah, a few celebrities would pique my interest. Do you think that cuddling with a member of the opposite sex, with no intention of sexual relations, is cheating? No way. Sometimes we all need a little cuddle. Which would you be willing to give up the internet for: world peace or immortality? Neither. I wouldn’t give up the internet for anything. Are you a redneck? No, the farthest thing from it. Do you think by 2050 there will be flying cars? Yeah. Should politicians be allowed to have a private life? I mean, obviously?? Everyone deserves that. Do you avoid going over to other people's houses because it makes you feel uncomfortable or out of place? Yeah, more like I avoid hanging out with people in general, LOL. If someone you don't know too well puts you in the buddy list of his or her profile, would you be suspicious, or would it be OK that he or she did that? I’d love it. Do you have a trash can in every room of your home? Nope. Who said "I love you" first: you, or your partner? I’m single. Do you ever lay down and watch a movie, only to fall asleep in the very beginning and wake up when the movie is over? No, but this happens with YouTube videos sometimes. Do you say 'thank you' before leaving a store, even though you may not have purchased anything? Yeah. Would you approve if your significant other wanted to have a nude painting done? Sure. Art is art. If there were nine guilty people and one innocent, and they all had to be together, would you put them all in jail or set them all free? What was the crime they were guilty for? Is your pet also your best friend? The best friend I’ll ever have. She loves me absolutely unconditionally. When the toilet backs up, do you call someone to fix it or do you do it yourself? I call my dad to fix it. Have you ever recited a love poem to your significant other? I used to write poems and stories for my ex. It kinda makes me wanna vomit thinking back on it. Would you rather be 'all head and no heart' or 'all heart and no head'? Nope. Nope. This is too hard. I refuse. Are your teeth discolored? A lil’ bit. When you were a child, did you make or buy your Halloween costumes? Buy. Have you ever seen a movie and liked it but upon further viewing come to like it a lot less? Don’t think so. But this happens with a lot of songs. If your father was a minister, would you want him to preside over your wedding ceremony? No. Would you prefer to watch porn or a really good comedy? Depends on the mood I’m in. How long did your longest phone conversation ever last? Maybe 4 hours. Do you put your initials on everything you own? No, that’s lame. Do you like or dislike people based on who else likes or dislikes them? Not at all. Do you have a friend who you hang out with only when there is nothing else to do? No. Which is harder: calculus or trigonometry? Fuck, I can’t do either whatsoever. Do you often find yourself correcting your parents? All the time, correcting my mom. I’m smarter than her in a lot of ways. If you could stop aging at a certain age, do you know what that age would be? I have to experience more ages in order to decide that. Do you more often eat off of real plates or paper plates? Ideally, paper plates. I’m a huge germaphobe. When I move out I’ll only purchase paper and plastic ware. Have you ever had tape over your mouth? Yeah. If you encountered someone you totally didn't know and he or she seemed to tell you the solutions to your uniquely specific problems without having been told what they were, would you be more thankful or freaked out? I’d probably develop feelings for them on the spot. Would you rather eat a raw egg or a scoop of raw hamburger? Raw egg sounds tasty. Do shy kids tend to grow up to be freaks? No. Unless...they’re sociopaths. But maybe sociopaths aren’t freaks either, just another type of person. When you put on a shirt, do you button up or down? I can’t wear shirts with buttons, since I have such a big bust, it completely flops every time. Do you scent your letters when you write to a special someone? Yeah...it’s sexy. Is punk influenced more by music or attitude? Music. Did you ever start a thread that got at least 40 posts? Yeah. Can you recall the ending of the last story you read? No. Have you ever had your head stuck in an unusual place? I don’t recall. Do you have any weird or funny local slang? IDK, does “Boca Bitch” count? People don’t really use it that often but it’s true and it’s a well-known term. When you come online, is there always one person you look for? Yeah...well, a few people. Do lava lamps make you sick looking at them? No, they’re aesthetic af, I want one, I always have. Will Hollywood ever run out of ideas for movies? It’s not that they’ve run out of ideas, they’re just lazy and only care about making money. Does P. Diddy telling everyone that he is the new Frank Sinatra make you want to roll your eyes? He was probably kidding. Do you think the state of the global environment will be better or worse in 50 years? Worse, of course. Global warming..and oil drilling. Endangered species. Do you eat dinner in the dining room or in the living room? In my bedroom. Which Mike Judge cartoon do you prefer: Beavis and Butthead or King of the Hill? King of the Hill. Have you ever fallen off your chair in public? Yeah. When sleeping, do you face the doorway or have your back to it? I sleep on my side. Do you find poetry that expresses pain and suffering to be more intriguing than other types? I don’t find poetry intriguing at all. Do you only pretend looks don't matter because you're ugly yourself? Looks do matter, though. Do you find limericks to be funny and clever or annoying? Again, not a poem fan. Do you think you'd be capable of representing yourself in court rather than hiring an attorney to do it for you? Maybe.. When you flirt with someone, is it obvious or more subtle? Obvious and awkward. Which character do you think weighs more: Jabba the Hutt or Fat Bastard? What? Do you think couples break up mainly because of differences they can't resolve or because they have found someone new? They get tired of each other. Do you reread things that are written well? Yes. What hurts more: getting poked in the eye or biting your tongue? Getting poked in the eye. Do you prefer merry-go-rounds or ferris wheels? Ferris wheels. You get to look at all the scenery, be intimate, and hang in the air. Which do you prefer: original or flavored Tootsie Rolls? Original. Chocolate is better than fruit flavouring. If you had three children, would you rather have two boys and a girl, or two girls and a boy? I don’t want kids. Is having a threesome basically approved cheating? It’s approved polyamory. Is it a turn off to you if the woman has a deep, manly voice or if the man has a high, pre-pubescent voice? No, I love it. Have you copied (or “ripped”) your entire CD collection onto your computer? When I was younger and had an iPod Nano. Do you have buns of steel? No. Did you use floaties on your arms when you were learning to swim? Yeah, and I still have trouble swimming even now. Did your first ever snog involve French kissing? Yes. Do you know a person who is physically unattractive and yet a flirt? Yeah, me. LOL. Are there a lot of programs on your computer that you don't know how to use? Adobe Audition af. I pretty much only use it to make instrumentals and have no idea how to do anything else with it. Do you live in an uncomfortable environment, such as where you feel you cannot be yourself? No, not really. If you had discovered a body on the side of the road would you see if it was still alive? Yes, and then call 911. Does punishing everyone for the actions of the few get us closer to utopia? Of course not. Can you finish an entire 2-liter bottle of soda by yourself in a single sitting? No. Have your parents ever forbidden you to play a certain type of music in their house? No. Since you reached dating age, have you been single for more than three years? Nope, but I suspect that will happen soon. When buying shampoo or soap, do you choose one because of what they put in it, or because you like the smell? What they put in it for shampoo -- I need dandruff control due to my psoriasis. Have you ever had writer's block? All the time. *** Have you given anything up for Lent? I’m not Catholic. Who was the last person you went shopping with? Myself, if you count online shopping. Are you planning on dyeing your hair any time soon? No. Who was the last person you saw that you haven’t seen in a while? Annalisa. Do you sing in front of people or only when you’re alone? Both. What kind of car do you have? I don’t have one. When was the last time you left your cell phone somewhere? Never. I’m super conscientious of where I put it. Are your nails manicured right now? They never are. Do you prefer fake tanning or real tanning? Neither. Are you more of a summer person or a winter person? Neither, I love spring the most. Would you rather go to a rock concert or a rap concert? Rock by FAAARRR. Have you ever dated someone that was a different race than you? Yeah, my ex was black. Do your parents ever tell you weird things you did as a kid? A lot. It interests me. How old is your best friend? What constitutes a best friend? What does your favorite necklace look like? I don’t wear jewelry. Are you keeping a secret from anyone? Yeah. Is there anything with stripes on it in the room you’re in? Probably. Too lazy to check. Can you count how many vacations you’ve been on in your lifetime? No. Would you take a million dollars if it meant you had to die a month later? Of course not. Do you have cold hands or are you generally a warm person? Cold hands. People are always telling me how cold my body is. Do you keep any type of diary or journal? Used to. I can never stick to it, though. What was the last thing that made you really happy? Hmm...don’t remember. Can you remember what you dreamed about last night? I did when I woke up, not anymore. Have you ever gotten kicked out of a class for being disruptive? OMG, all the time. What was the last thing someone bought for you? Something from my mom, don’t remember what. Do you have a good friend of the opposite sex that is not a boy/girlfriend? Yeah. Would you rather read a book or watch the movie? Watch the movie. I need the sensual experience and the visuals. Are you a visual, audio, or kinesthetic learner? Auditory x10000. Cover songs or the original song? The original. Are you where you want to be in life at this point in time? I’m on the way. *** Do you put your name on your food coverings? No. What is something you have acquired with age? Maturity, self-knowledge, musical taste, culture. When it comes to clothing, are you the conservative type? Yes and no. I love businesswear, but I also love crazy T-shirts. Would you ever go out in public sporting pajamas? 100%. Would be fun. Do you enjoy eating? Yeah, a little too much. Have you ever ridden in a race car? Go-Karts at Boomers, LOL! Do you enjoy making people laugh? Yeah, I’m a pretty funny person. Do you go out of your way to impress the opposite gender? I’m gay. What is something that would make you happy right now? Sleep. I’m tired af but am determined to finish this survey. Are you a hygiene nut? No, but I am hygienic. Are you open-minded? Completely. Are you mathematically inclined? NOOO, it’s my worst subject. I’m linguistically inclined. What is something for which you have no patience? Technological issues and hypocrisy. Are you too concerned/worried with your appearance? No, I’m way too UNconcerned. Do you tend to be a jealous person? Yeah, but I’ve been getting a bit better about that...I think...OK, not really. Do you enjoy history? Nope, unless I’m learning about a place I’m traveling to and the history of the sites I visit/activities I do. Are you a pajama person or do you stay dressed all day? Pajamas, unless I’m going out and feel funky. Do you value looks or personality more? Both. Have you ever changed religions? Not really. I was raised a culturally Jewish atheist, and I’ve stayed that way. Do you have a high tolerance for people? Yeah, unless they’re hypocrites or homophobes/transphobes. Is there anyone to whom you are afraid to stand up? No. Do people interest you? Totally. *** Category One: Clothing I wear Converse. I wear plain black skate shoes. I really love dresses. I wear a lot of band t-shirts. I wear a lot of black. I like wearing skirts and dresses with Converse. People at my school often copy my style. I love jeans. I dress the way I want to, I don’t care what anyone thinks about my style. Wearing clothes I like gives me a lot more confidence. I don’t really look to anyone else for style ideas. Category Two: General Appearance Something about my appearance is very unique and distinct. I have more than one birth mark. I have very tanned skin. I tan extremely easily in the summer. I am skinny. But I have curves. I wear glasses. I have my father’s eyes. My self-esteem has been getting much better. People have told me straight up that they are jealous of my body - and it feels good to get compliments like that. I don’t spend a lot of time getting ready - I basically look the way I do when I wake up. Category Three: Annoyances I hate when people are overly cocky and arrogant. I hate when people make assumptions - they’re normally totally off. When I’m standing in line at a cash or something, I hate when people stand practically on top of me. It doesn’t make the line move any faster! I strongly dislike when I get excess lotion or water in between my fingers, and I don’t really understand why. If someone pisses me off enough, I’m not shy to tell them off. If someone is asked to stop doing something more than once, I feel it’s okay to start yelling at them. I hate hypocrites - but I can be a hypocrite myself sometimes. I hate people who act like know-it-alls. And I hate it even more when it’s a subject I know more about than them. I absolutely hate when people try to drag me into their pathetic drama. My number one pet peeve is when someone has too many pet peeves. Category Four: Surveys I find it stupid when people take the tags off surveys, but survey makers who go as far as making a “hate list” for all those who do it are just assholes themselves. I think I may have a serious addiction to surveys… Oh well! If you’re going to insult me directly more than once while taking a survey I made, then don’t even bother taking my survey. In a way I’m a hypocrite for saying that, because if there’s no tag on the survey, then I will call the survey maker an idiot and whatnot, if I seriously feel they are and if I’m in that bad of a mood. (*rolls eyes*) I’d be a millionaire if I got paid to do this! Why do survey makers insist on having a certain number of comments and subscribers before they make another survey? This is for fun, it isn’t a business, and you aren’t making money off of it, so why are you being so anal about communication with your survey-takers? I don’t see the point in lying on surveys. Why take them if you aren’t going to tell the truth? Category Five: Things I Seriously Love Coffee, and caffeine in general. The show Pawn Stars. Feeling good about myself. Encouraging other people to stay positive and be strong. Tattoos and piercings. Anthropology, sociology, and psychology. Making and taking surveys. Dreadlocks. Rain and thunderstorms. Music, of course. Random, interesting facts. Category Six: Music I can play piano. I can play bass. I can sort of play guitar. I listen to music every day. I own at least three instruments. I still buy CDs. I really want to learn to play drums. I wouldn’t mind learning to play the violin as well. Practically everyone in my family can play some sort of instrument. I used to take dance lessons. Category Seven: Photography I own a FujiFilm camera. I take walks so I can take pictures. I have a folder on my computer of pictures I’ve taken. I love taking pictures of fireworks. I also love taking pictures of nature. One of my favorite settings on my camera is macro. I have a blink detector on my camera. My camera takes amazing, bright, vivid photos. I want to make a photo album of pictures that I’ve taken. I wouldn’t mind being a photographer. I don’t know what I would do without my (phone) camera.  Category Eight: Relationships & Friendships I have serious trouble keeping lasting friendships. But I have no trouble keeping a lasting romantic relationship. Those two don’t directly relate to each other - I don’t ditch my friends for my partner, ever. I have been in a relationship for almost two and a half years. It is my first relationship. I have only ever kissed one person. My partner and I have been in a band together. In my opinion, friends are for socializing, not relying on for rough times. I love going out with friends. I have been in a band with all my best friends before. I have been verbally and psychologically abused by friends before. I have punched one of my friends in the face.