#and no thanks to tain for anything ever I hate him so much

[vaguely-concerned]

So much of Garak as a person starts to make sense once you know his childhood was a fucking gothic novel. His main playground was a graveyard and he'd play pretend by perfoming improv eulogies to an imagined audience. For a long time his main touchstone for most important figures from recent history is 'oh yeah I know about that guy my dad buried him. great flower arrangements for that one'. He finds out later his 'parents' are actually a brother and sister who had to get married to avoid the utter shame and social devastation of having a child born out of wedlock, and they live in the basement of his biological father's house. (the madwoman in the attic vs. the tiny elim in the basement.) His biological father calls himself his uncle and locks him in a closet whenever he fails to live up to his insane and unpredictable expectations and everyone just has to act like that's normal and expected, and his will hangs over everything at all times, unseen but always felt keener than anything else. The father who actually raised him grows the world's most beautiful (and as it turns out, most poisonous) orchids and keeps the mask of a god hidden in a box in his work shed. Everyone in the house is choking down secrets like it's the only air they know how to breathe anymore.

What I'm saying is that right from the get-go this guy never had the faintest shot at turning out normal, so I'm glad that by middle age he's found a way to get a bit silly with it as he continues to be deeply deeply not normal about anything ever <3

[unohanadaydreams]

As the name suggests, I'm always thirsty for the Big Guy 😉 I wonder how Kenpachi would react if Ikkaku found a piece of your lingerie in the barracks, but no one knew about your relationship?

The idea of Kenpachi being viewed as sus for fucking a 4th member fuels me so ofc. This got out of hand but I fully blame the energy IkkaYumi brings to anything ever and not myself. Thank you for understanding.

Features: smut (18+) at the mid-point, IkkaYumi being real <3 for the majority of it, and sub!Kenpachi (☆ω☆), also idk maybe some minor angst but like made Seggsy.

Kenpachi Zaraki x f!reader (and IkkaYumi...mostly them tbh.)

Ikkaku slapped the door open with loudest ‘OI’ he could muster. The paper of the door ripped somewhere along the way as it slid open, the wooden frame wobbling as he stepped into the room.

Despite the noise, Yumichika’s hand stayed steadfast as he finished smudging eye shadow on his outer lid. Another ‘OI’ sounded, but no hand shook him or foot kicked at him while Yumichika held a brush to his eye.

Glacial, he finished blending the color until he was satisfied--rinsed the brush--set it to dry. Through the mirror in front of him, Yumichika looked to Ikkaku’s reflection only after admiring his own.

The lacy scrap of undies in Ikkaku’s hand lifted Yumichika’s brow.

“I thought you hated when I wore those,” he said with a sniff, turning to get a better look.

Ikkaku rubbed at his bald head, “yah think that because I do.”

Yumichika gestured for the undies and Ikkaku threw them. “And yet?”

“Yet, I found ‘em anyway!” Ikkaku fell into a wide squat, his hands fisting into the fabric of his uniform over his knees. “In the captain’s office.”

They stared at one another, both settling deeper into their feelings.

“Ikkaku, you must be joking,” Yumichika said, holding the undies against his arm. “This color makes me look positively jaundiced.”

“You think captain gives a shit about color theory?”

Yumichika threw the lacy bit of bullshit at Ikkaku’s face. Smiling when they landed on his dumb, shiny head. “He won’t even let me do his hair, Ikkaku. Your delusion is exhausting me.”

“Then--”

“Yes, Ikkaku. Then, they’re not mine. And they’re someone else’s.”

Ikkaku pulled the undies from his head, squinting at them. “Huh.”

Rising with a flourish, Yumichika let the sleeves of his robe billow behind him as he went for the cabinet to rummage for sake. Possibly a new boyfriend.

He came back after a few gulps, offering Ikkaku the bottle only after giving him a sound kick to the head that sent the man flopping to the side.

“Hey!” Ikkaku steadied himself with one hand and rubbed where he’d been kicked with the other...undies still in hand. “Ya can’t blame me. No one else around here would wear that shit.”

Yumichika gave a flat look. Took another gulp of sake. Sighed heavily as he sank to Ikkaku’s level.

“Which means they belong to someone who would,” Yumichika offered along with the sake. “Someone from a different division.”

“Must be serious,” Ikkaku said, sake dribbling down his chin. “Never found anything in his office...ever.”

Yumichika kissed at the trail of sake and took the bottle back once he’d settled into Ikkaku’s lap. “That means whoever it is will be back. And now we know what to look for.”

Ikkaku grunted, shoving his tongue in Yumichika’s mouth before the man in his lap could swallow his sake, not pulling away until he’d swiped as much alcohol with his tongue as he could.

“That shit ain’t good enough for you, anyway.”

“I know,” Yumichika said softly, tone at odds with him rising to stand, heading for the door.

“O--” A raised hand stalled Ikkaku from pointing to his tightened hamaka.

“Fix my door first, dumbass.”

@

Ikkaku lowered from his tip-toes, a man afflicted. “No way.”

“I told you,” Yumichika said in a hiss. “Not just from 4th division, but a pencil pusher.”

You looked like the kind who’d scramble to bring an 11th division soldier any impossible request they bullied you for. The quintessential mouse every self-respecting soldier was inclined to paw at.

“Don’t look so fucking smug, Yumi,” Ikkaku grumbled, peeling off the wall and pulling Yumichika back towards the training grounds by the back of the puffed-up peacock’s uniform, right at the lower back. Yumichika had just gotten his fifth pay-back punch in when they hit the gate that separated captain’s estate from training ground.

Theirs might have been the only captain so enamored with battle that he’d moved his quarters as close as the captain general would allow. If it weren’t for the bullshit ‘housing codes and regulations’, Ikkaku was sure the house would’ve been on top of the large rectangle of packed dirt that served as the largest training ground in the entire division. 

Once they’d hopped the low wall, more meant to keep Zaraki’s house away from the grounds than to keep his underlings on the grounds away from him, Yumichika fell on the nearest bench to fix his uniform.

“Well now what?” Ikkaku rubbed at his side, knowing he was going to need to stretch soon or the tight knot Yumichika had punched into his side or even a night drowned in sake wouldn’t numb it when he collapsed in his futon.

Yumichika didn’t look up from retying his stiff, decorative obi but his face softened, “Now that we’ve been successfully nosy? I was thinking that new, chic sushi bar near the 1st. The one where all the wait-staff look just as yummy.”

“No I, mean--yeah, we’re definitely going,” Ikkaku said, his previous thought tripping over the vision of pretty smiles from androgynous beauties. “But, what do we do about the captain?”

“Well, I’m not going to say anything, but I also have tact. And grace,” Yumichika shrugged, fluffing the bow of obi.

Ikkaku kicked dirt and tensed forward at the shoulders, like he planned to lunge and attack. “I ain’t no fucking snitch and you know it. Don’tcha?”

Sliding forward, Yumichika massaged at Ikkaku’s tense shoulders, rolling his eyes. “I wasn’t saying you would. Just that you’re tactless. And might on accident--which makes you an idiot, not a snitch.���

“Damn right,” Ikkaku grunted, anything but Yumichika’s agreement sliding off his bald head like water. “Wouldn’t snitch for anything. But what if someone else finds out? Like a captain or something. We can’t kill one of them and--”

“Oh, stop worrying about it,” Yumichika said, interrupting and pulling at Ikkaku’s arm--he was hungry, both for refined food and beauties. “No one who wants to live will chance Kenpachi asking for a fight. Or that Captain Unohana; she seems vicious in a way more of our men should be. Such grace.”

“Yeah, yeah, you’re right,” Ikkaku nodded, letting himself be dragged off for sushi, sake, and sublime wait-staff. Still, there was morale to think about. No hardened warrior of the rukongai wanted to hear their fearless leader had a weakness for...the weak.

There had to be something more to it but Ikkaku wasn’t going to dig more into his captain’s business. He was more than happy to put the shovel down and follow Yumichika, even as the truth sat uncomfortably at the base of his skull.

@

You were weak in all the ways shinigami measured such things--swordsmanship, spiritual pressure, and kido were subjects you studied more than you practiced, let alone pulled off. But you had enough power to pass school and be sorted into the 4th division ranks, where you excelled.

An aptitude for medical procedure, surgery, and technology was what garnered you not just safety, but respect among your peers.

As for the other divisions? Well, you had some friends in 12th who fully understood your position.

Kenpachi Zaraki? Certainly wasn’t someone who could relate to you.

But, that was fine.

You preferred your men muzzled, anyway.

“Too bad, Cap--tain,” you breathed, stretching his title with your tongue playfully. “I was hoping they’d find out everything.”

Pulling yourself up, one fist over the other, by the leather leash tied taunt around Kenpachi’s neck, you delighted in seeing the muscles there strain to accommodate your weight and the need for breath at the same time.

You pressed your lips against his ear after admiring the rough line of his mouth being forcibly split open by a ball gang, pretty, pink, and yours. “Can’t you go faster?”

His answering grunt was followed by his body pressing into yours quick enough turn your teasing into moans. That’s what you liked most about Kenpachi; he was always striving to be better and exceeding expectation.

it would be effortless for him to put his hands on you without permission or rip out the ball gag, but he didn’t. Even when you met in a grimy bar close to the 11th, too drunk to realize who’s thigh you were toying with, his attention to what you wanted was surprising.

You panted, toes curling as he hit that lovely spot only he ever had, “H-hands on hips.”

So eager, he kneaded from the tops of your thighs to your hips like dough, obviously glad to be rewarded. You were eager too--for the angle. Your hips tilted upward gave him more depth and your fingers tightened on his leash.

There was no need to command for more, because he was giving you his all. And he kept going until your scattered breathing paired with the tight heat he was pounding into you snapped all at once, so intense that your eyes watered.

While you basked in the trembling after shocks, catching your breath, Kenpachi went still.

Until you said, “Sit on floor.”

The bed creaked and rose as he left it, leaving you to collect yourself in peace. When you rose to sit, he was kneeling on the floor, his cock hard and bobbing above his thighs.

You walked to him slow, nails scratching through his rough, black hair as you circled behind him. “Such good work,” you praised, “Just like always.”

Trailing down to the buckle, your fingers made quick of his ball gag, parting it from his teeth gently, and tossing it on the bed.

“What do you want me to reward you with, Kenpachi?” You asked him, only once you’d come to face him, your hand urging his jaw up, his eyes on yours.

“To get off,” he said, shameless.

You hummed, “then do it.”

Frowning, Kenpachi leaned his face into your touch. “I want you to.....please.”

The word ‘please’ was said slow, his eyes leaving yours several times before he said it. You wondered how many people Kenpachi Zaraki had ever asked, for anything. Let alone, with manners.

You kissed his nose, finding the almost demure behavior cute, “Then I will. Lay down.”

He did, his arms behind his head, like he napping under a tree instead of waiting for your hands to give his weeping cock relief.

You took your time, teasing him with sensation by spitting into your hand and giving him light rubs, again and again until his hips lifted off the ground.

The lacy bit of pink undies that stretched tight over his thighs, were yours too. And you peeled them off, throwing them toward the ball gag as his breathing grew heavy in the air.

Perhaps you deserved less teasing, but you couldn’t resist dragging out the fun a touch more, one hand fondling his tightening balls while the other scratched lightly at his inner thighs.

His breathing was catching on groans and audible ‘ah’s that had you biting your lip. Thigh’s clenching, you finally began circling the tip of his cock. Soon, you were giving him his first pump, slick hand trailing his length from tip to base in smooth, steady motions.

Straddling his thighs, you took advantage of the position and put both your hands to work, gripping him harder but keeping the same pace.

“Look how hard you are,” you cooed, hands pausing as your thumb circled the slit topping the bulbous head of his cock. “Do you want to cum for me?”

His, “yes,” was immediately pushed from his heaving chest. You hummed, so tempted to climb on top of him fully. But, that would be a kind of weakness you didn’t allow yourself.

Kenpachi’s lone eye struggled to stay open as you lowered your lips to kiss the tip of him. You rose back up and licked them as he watched, his pre-cum salty as it settled on your tongue.

You couldn’t call him unraveling under your firm, fast touch seeing him at his weakest. But, you were certain it was a kind of vulnerable he seldom experienced. Even his arms had come from behind his head, his fingers flexing around air while he struggled to keep them away from you. His hips began bucking with such strength that you were forced to tighten your thighs around his to keep your place.

Desperate, is what he was. For you to give him what he worked for.

And, you did.

His cock pulsed as you wrung his orgasm out, thick ropes of cum falling over his sweaty stomach and dripping down your hands. His moan was loud, deep, and reverberated through out the room like a cry of victory.

You kept stroking him until he was completely spent, until he made a sound almost like a whine.

“I need--”

He sat up, setting you on the floor before padding to the bathroom, and coming back with a damp cloth. “Here.”

“Thank you,” you said, keeping your eyes on your hands as you willed yourself to calm down. His orgasm had made you want him again, badly. But you had things to do. He had things to do.

What you had with Kenpachi was strange and tenuous. And your smug confidence drained a bit as you cleaned yourself and him, until you were almost unsure.

What now? You’d never even seen his house before this. Always in more public places, where you parted almost immediately after playing with him.

“You want these back,” he asked, lifting the ball gag and undies in one hand while pulling back the blankets on the bed with the other. The leash was already on the bedside table, his neck angrily red still.

If you took them, you wondered if it was all over. “No, you should. They’re easy enough to clean.”

“...You sure?”

You nodded, not so attached to a couple cheap props that you’d be wounded if something happened to them. “They’re all yours.”

Shrugging after a moment of silence, he gestured with his head to the bed, “unless you wanna take a shower first.”

“I’m fine for now,” you responded, climbing under the blanket, more confused than obedient. “Are you tired?”

“Enough to sleep.”

The bed dipped from his bulk, forcing you closer. He tossed an arm around you, so you could get comfortable against his side. You lay your head on his chest, eyes still open, listening to him breathe.

At first, you’d thought maybe it was all a joke. That Kenpachi Zaraki was trying to trap you into....something, like those men who feigned nice before using all their muscle to force you to bend as they wanted. To teach you a lesson for trying to dominate him.

You didn’t delude yourself into thinking you had real, tangible power of him or any man you’d toyed with, after all. Just something momentary, like a brief understanding.

But you felt less cautious as your eyes drooped shut and your thoughts circled around his intentions. He always approached you and asked, vague and gruff, ‘here good?’ And you’d find a closet or office or twisty alley that would do.

This time, you asked him. And he took you to his bedroom, compliant as ever, waiting for you to sprinkle nice words in his ear, for you to give him pleasure for being his best.

Drifting off to the rise and fall of his chest, you wondered if things like that meant so much to him.

[elemental-queen-writes]

Transcript copy/paste of moments where Julian Bashir is a badarse doctor, and why he’s the best doctor in the Alpha and Beta Quadrants.

(Episode: Dax. Dax is on trial. Penalty is death.)

TANDRO: Yes? Well, exactly how does the Trill brain work? BASHIR: It's quite complicated, actually. First of all, there are two cerebral nuclei. TANDRO: Two? BASHIR: One in the symbiont and one in the host. TANDRO: Two brains. And these two brains talk to each other? BASHIR: Like two computers linked together. TANDRO: That's very clear, Doctor. Thank you. Now, in your investigations, were you able to analyse the separate wave patterns from each of these brains? BASHIR: They don't function separately. TANDRO: I didn't ask you how they function, Doctor Bashir. I asked if you could analyse the two distinct patterns. BASHIR: I just don't see the relevance of TANDRO: Could you? BASHIR: Yes. TANDRO: And have the brainwave patterns of the symbiont changed since it joined with its new host? BASHIR: With the available evidence, there's no way of telling. TANDRO: What's your best guess? BASHIR: I wouldn't care to guess.

.

(Episode: The Wire. Julian is talking to Garak in his quarters about the malfunctioning implant in his brain)

GARAK: It's too late, now. My body has become completely dependent on the higher endorphin levels generated by the implant. BASHIR: So, that's it then. You're going to just give up and let them win. GARAK: Them, Doctor? BASHIR: The Central Command, the Obsidian Order, whoever it is who exiled you here. You're just going to roll over and die, let them destroy you, give up any hope of ever seeing Cardassia again. GARAK: Doctor, did anyone ever tell you that you are an infuriating pest? BASHIR: Chief O'Brien all the time, and I don't pay any attention to him either. GARAK: Has it ever occurred to you that I might be getting exactly what I deserve? BASHIR: No one deserves this. GARAK: Oh, please, Doctor. I'm suffering enough without having to listen to your smug Federation sympathy. Do you think because we have lunch together once a week, you know me? You couldn't even begin to fathom what I'm capable of. BASHIR: I'm a doctor. You're my patient. That's all I need to know.

.

BASHIR: Listen to me, Garak. Right now I'm not concerned with what you did in the past. I'm simply not going to walk out of here and let you die. We need to turn that implant off and whatever withdrawal symptoms or side effects you may experience, I promise I'll help you through them. I need to know where that triggering device is. Where is it? GARAK: The desk, second drawer.

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GARAK: I don't want to be calm, Doctor. I've been calm long enough. Look at this place. It's pathetic. To think that this is what my life has been reduced to. This sterile shell, this prison. (Garak smashes a flower vase) BASHIR: Take it easy, Garak. Look, you're obviously experiencing some side effects from the deactivation of the implant. GARAK: Ridiculous. I feel more clear-headed than I have in the past two years. Two years. What a waste these past two years have been. (Garak overturns a table) GARAK: There was a time, Doctor, oh there was a time when I was a power. The protégé of Enabran Tain himself. Do you have any idea what that means? BASHIR: I'm afraid I don't. GARAK: No, you don't, do you. You don't know much of anything. Tain was the Obsidian Order. Not even the Central Command dared challenge him. And I was his right hand. My future was limitless until I threw it away.

.

BASHIR: And so they exiled you. GARAK: That's right. And left me to live out my days with nothing to look forward to but having lunch with you. BASHIR: I'm sorry you feel that way. I thought you enjoyed my company. GARAK: I did. And that's the worst part. I can't believe that I actually enjoyed eating mediocre food and staring into at your smug, sanctimonious face. I hate this place and I hate you. BASHIR: Okay, Garak, that's your prerogative. Now I really think you should lie down. GARAK: Get away from me. BASHIR: Garak. (Garak comes at him in fury and they break furniture.) BASHIR: Garak, stop this. I don't want to hurt you. (Garak is about to strangle Bashir when he has a fit) BASHIR: Bashir to Infirmary. I need an emergency medical team in Garak's quarters now. 

.

GARAK: Elim destroyed me. Before I knew what was going on, I was sentenced to exile. And the irony is, I deserved it. Oh, not for the reasons they claimed, but because of what I had tried to do to Elim, my best friend. BASHIR: Why are you telling me this, Garak? GARAK: So that you can forgive me. Why else? I need to know that someone forgives me. BASHIR: I forgive you for whatever it is you did. GARAK: Thank you, Doctor. That's most kind. BASHIR: See that he rests comfortably. I'll be back within fifty two hours. JABARA: Where are you going? BASHIR: To find the man responsible for this. 

.

TAIN: I never had to order Garak to do anything. That's what made him special. So, you're saying if you don't get the information, Garak dies?

BASHIR: That's it.

TAIN: Well, we can't allow that can we? I'll see to it that the necessary data is transferred to your station's computers.

BASHIR: Thank you.

TAIN: Don't thank me. I'm not doing Garak any favours. He doesn't deserve a quick death. On the contrary, I want him to live a long, miserable life. I want him to grow old on that station, surrounded by people who hate him, knowing that he'll never come home again.

BASHIR: What a lovely sentiment.

TAIN: And it's from the heart, I assure you. And now, Doctor, I really think you should be going.

BASHIR: One last thing.

TAIN: Make it brief.

BASHIR: Garak mentioned an old friend of his the other day, a member of the Obsidian Order. I was wondering what happened to him.

TAIN: Did he give you the name of this friend?

BASHIR: He said it was Elim.

TAIN: (chuckling) Elim?

BASHIR: Mind letting me in on the joke?

TAIN: I can see that Garak hasn't changed a bit. Never tells the truth when a lie will do. That man has a rare gift for obfuscation. Doctor, Elim is Garak's first name. Now run along home. And please, tell Garak that I miss him.

BASHIR: I'll be sure to give him the message. Computer, one to beam up. Energise.

.

(Episode: Crossover. Kira and Julian are sent to the mirror universe in an accident.)

KLINGON 2: Another extra worker for you. A Terran who doesn't know the rules. ODO: Well, we'll see to it that he learns them. What's your designation? BASHIR: Bashir. Julian. ODO: Is that a joke? BASHIR: I don't know. Is it? (Odo slaps him.) ODO: No joking. That's my Rule of Obedience number fourteen. Now, what's your designation? BASHIR: I don't have a designation. ODO: I don't have a designation, sir. BASHIR: Another Rule of Obedience? (Odo slaps him again.) ODO: I don't have a designation, sir. BASHIR: I don't have a designation, sir. ODO: Now why is that? BASHIR: I don't know. And frankly I don't even know what I'm doing here. ODO: You're here to process ore. Have you ever done that before? BASHIR: No, I haven't. ODO: Have you ever worked in the mines? BASHIR: No. ODO: Then what have you done? BASHIR: I've been practicing medicine. (Odo slaps him again.) ODO: Did you forget the Rule of Obedience number fourteen? BASHIR: It's not a joke. I'm a doctor. ODO: Well, Doctor, don't forget to scrub before you operate. (Bashir sees O'Brien.)

.

(Bashir finds O'Brien working on a panel.) BASHIR: O'Brien? You've got to help me. O'BRIEN: I don't see you. You're not here. I'm just trying to seal this thorium leak. BASHIR: Look, I don't know my way around these conduits but you do. My O'Brien does. Just tell me where the runabout pads are. I know you, Miles O'Brien. Somewhere inside of you is a shred of decency. There has to be. O'BRIEN: I am a decent man. I just, I just. You don't understand. I can't help you. I can't. They'll kill me. BASHIR: You're already dead. I'm sorry you don't see that. The life inside every human being here, every Terran, died here a long time ago. (Bashir gets into another conduit.) O'BRIEN: That's not the right way. Just tell me one thing. Is there any room over there on your side for me? BASHIR: You want us to take you with us? O'BRIEN: I've no reason to stay here. BASHIR: Starfleet would probably have a big problem with that. To hell with them. Let's go.

.

(Episode: Life Support. Bareil is brought back from the dead)

NURSE: We're ready to begin the autopsy, Doctor. BASHIR: Release the stasis field. Let's begin with a neural scan. I want to map his central axonal pathways, find out where the breakdown began. NURSE: Shall I begin taking neural tissue samples? BASHIR: Looks like the damage began in the parietal lobe, spread through the rest of the brain in a retrograde manner. (Something flashes on the screen) BASHIR: Wait a minute. A neuron just fired in his cerebral cortex. There it is again. His nerves. His nerves are still transmitting electrical impulses to his brain NURSE: How can that be? His brain activity level is zero. His nervous system should be completely inactive. BASHIR: I don't know but it means his body's still capable of sending messages to the brain, even though the brain can't process them. The radiation he was exposed to might have fortified his peripheral cell membranes. If we can regenerate his pathways with his own neuron cells, we might be able to revive him. NURSE: What about brain damage? There's been no oxygen to his brain for almost forty minutes. BASHIR: But he's been in stasis for most of that time. That, combined with the strengthening of his cell membranes might buy us the time we need. (Later) BASHIR: We'll have to direct a burst of electrical energy into his cerebral cortex. If the burst is the proper intensity, it should create a cascade effect within the brain and the neurons might resume their normal firing pattern. Okay. Let's close up the cranial cavity. (Later) BASHIR: The neurogenic stimulator is in place. Let's try a fifty millivolt burst. (Twitch) BASHIR: Increase it to sixty. (Twitch) BASHIR: Seventy. NURSE: That's five millivolts above what normal tissue can withstand. It'll burn out his cerebral cortex. BASHIR: If I'm right, the inaprovaline drug I gave him should provide additional resistance against the excess electro-stimulation. Seventy. (Jerk, gasp.) NURSE: Doctor! (Bareil opens his eyes.) 

.

WINN: And I am grateful you were not taken from us, Vedek Bareil. BAREIL: My work here is not yet finished. WINN: No, it is not. We must resume the negotiations immediately. We can't risk losing the momentum we've established. I would like to send a coded message to Legate Turrel and invite him to come to DS Nine to continue the talks. BASHIR: Wait a minute. Bareil's in no condition to conduct negotiations. WINN: Bareil will simply be advising me. I will conduct the actual talks. BASHIR: I'll allow it as long as your visits don't tire him. WINN: Agreed. Vedek, we will talk again soon. 

.

BAREIL: Turrel is trying to get a concession from you that I already rejected. Tell him that the question of Cardassian property on Bajor was already dealt with in the Armistice talks four years ago. Don't worry, he'll still pay the reparations. WINN: What about this question of mining rights? His attention has been wandering. He's in pain. Give him more of the drug. BASHIR: He's had enough. WINN: Then you'll need to give him something else. The negotiations resume in less than six hours and we still have forty pages. BASHIR: Listen to me. I don't care about your negotiations, and I don't care about your treaty. All I care about is my patient, and at the moment he needs more medical care and less politics. Now, you can either leave here willingly or I'll call security and have you thrown out. KIRA: You won't need to call them. I'll do it myself. WINN: Put yourself in the hands of the Prophets, Bareil. They will not forsake you. BAREIL: Yes, Eminence. 

.

WINN: Are you going to call security and have me removed from this room now, Doctor? BASHIR: It hadn't occurred to me. Yet. WINN: How is Bareil? BASHIR: The organ replacement surgery went well. He's still unconscious, but he should be awake within the hour. WINN: Oh, good. There are still several points I have to discuss with him before the next negotiating session. BASHIR: That's why I'm here. When you see Bareil, I want you to tell him that you don't need him, that you can complete these negotiations without him. WINN: But I do need him, Doctor. BASHIR: I realise that. But I want you to tell him that you don't. WINN: You seem to be asking me to lie. BASHIR: I'm asking you to free Bareil of his obligations to you. The only way he'll accept that is if you tell him he's no longer needed, that you can go on without him. Now, if that's a lie, then so be it. WINN: That doesn't sound like a Starfleet officer. BASHIR: I'm a doctor first. And right now, I'm trying to give my patient his best chance to live. The only way to do that is to put him in stasis. Bareil knows that, but his desire to complete these negotiations is so strong that he's forcing me to keep him conscious and mentally alert, even though it may kill him. WINN: None of us wants that to happen, Doctor. But if I'm not mistaken, the decision regarding Bareil's treatment is up to him. BASHIR: Yes. As the patient, it is his right to make that choice. But I'm asking you to help me change his mind. Eminence, you're the Kai. These are your negotiations. Let this be your moment in history. Finish the talks on your own and you won't have to share the credit with anyone. WINN: You say that as though success is guaranteed, Doctor. BASHIR: Of course. If the talks fail, you'll need someone to accept the blame. A scapegoat. You're a coward. You're afraid to stand alone. WINN: Bareil's already made his decision, Doctor. I won't interfere. And Doctor? I won't forget what you've said here. BASHIR: Neither will I. 

.

KIRA: It's the other half of his brain, isn't it? But you can still help him can't you? You can replace the other half of his brain with a positronic matrix. BASHIR: I'm sorry, Nerys, but this is where it ends. KIRA: What do you mean? BASHIR: I won't remove whatever last shred of humanity Bareil has left. KIRA: But you can do it. WINN: Perhaps, child, it is time to listen to Doctor Bashir. KIRA: Sure. You've got your peace treaty, your place in history. You don't need Bareil anymore. WINN: Believe me child, I share your pain. But I think the Prophets are calling to Bareil. I will see to it that Bajor never forgets him. Doctor. (Winn puts her hand on Bareil's chest for a moment, then leaves.) KIRA: Julian, you can't give up now. You have to keep going. BASHIR: Nerys, if I remove the rest of his brain and replace it with a machine, he may look like Bareil, he may even talk like Bareil, but he won't be Bareil. The spark of life will be gone. He'll be dead. And I'll be the one who killed him. KIRA: But if we do nothing he'll die. BASHIR: That's right, he will. But he'll die like a man, not a machine. Please, don't make me fight you on this one. Just let him go. KIRA: How much time? BASHIR: All brain activity should cease within the next three hours. KIRA: I'd like to stay with him until then. BASHIR: Of course. 

.

(Episode: Distant Voices. Julian is battling a psychic attack from a Lethean, which are nearly always universally fatal.)

ALTOVAR: What do you think you're doing? BASHIR: The mistake I made was trying to repair the station from Ops. It may be the nerve centre of the real world, but this is the centre of my world. ALTOVAR: Get away from that panel. BASHIR: Or what? You'll kill me? Go ahead. What's stopping you? You've had plenty of opportunities so far. I don't think that it is as easy for you as you say it is. (The lights stop flickering) BASHIR: Ah. You know, you don't look half as threatening in normal light. (The monitors show Bashir on a biobed.) ALTOVAR: Take a close look, Doctor. You're dying. Why can't you just accept it? BASHIR: Because that's what you want me to do. You may be inside my head, but you don't know me half as well as you think you do. Take Dax. I do have feelings for her, but the important thing is she's my friend. You know? Friend? And I wouldn't exchange that friendship for anything. As far as my career is concerned, I may have been a good tennis player, but I'm a great doctor. Maybe I could've been first in my class, but it wouldn't have changed anything in my life. I still would've chosen this assignment. This is where I belong. Computer, activate quarantine field three J. (Altovar is behind a forcefield.) ALTOVAR: You can't do this. BASHIR: I can do anything I want. It is my mind. Begin sterilisation. (And Altovar evaporates)

.

(Episode: Our Man Bashir. Julian is playing a Bond like holosuite program that Garak breaks into. A transporter malfunction has stored the patterns on five senior staff as characters in the game. The safeties are off, and if they leave, the program could destabilise and the patterns will be lost.)

GARAK: You expect to take on Noah and his men with that? BASHIR: It's my fantasy. Trust me. GARAK: No! This has gone far enough. It's time to cut our losses. BASHIR: We can't do that. Kira or Dax might GARAK: Yes, they might be killed, and that is unfortunate. But there comes a point when the odds are against you and the only reasonable course of action is to quit! BASHIR: Quit? GARAK Yes. BASHIR: Is that what they taught you in the Obsidian Order? To give up when things get tough? GARAK: As a matter of fact, they did. That's why I've managed to stay alive while most of my colleagues are dead. Because I know when to walk away. And that time is now. And you'd know that, Doctor, if you were a real intelligence agent. BASHIR: Oh, so that's what this is all about. The fact that my fantasy happens to step on what you consider to be your private domain. Well what's the matter, Garak? Have I bruised your ego by play-acting at something you take so very seriously? GARAK: That's something else you've yet to learn, Doctor. A real intelligence agent has no ego, no conscience, no remorse. Only a sense of professionalism. And mine is telling me that it's time to go. Computer! BASHIR: Don't. GARAK: Or what? You'll kill me? BASHIR: If you call for the exit, you might kill Sisko and the others, and I'm not prepared to risk that. GARAK: I'm afraid I don't believe you'll pull that trigger. BASHIR: I wouldn't be so sure about that. GARAK: It's time to face reality, Doctor. You're a man who dreams of being a hero because you know, deep down, that you're not. I'm no hero either, but I do know how to make a choice, and I'm choosing to save myself. Computer, show me the mechanism (BANG! The bullet grazes Garak's neck) BASHIR: You'll be fine. It's just a flesh wound. GARAK: That was awfully close. What if you'd killed me? BASHIR: What makes you think I wasn't trying? GARAK: Doctor, I do believe there's hope for you yet. BASHIR: I'm so relieved. Now, we have to get to the control room. Are you coming or not? GARAK: Well, who am I to question Julian Bashir, secret agent? Lead on. 

.

SISKO: You expect me to believe that? You are Julian Bashir. A man who has spent his entire life dedicated to fighting against BASHIR: Yes, but all that's about to end now, isn't it? You're going to destroy this world and start a new one. What's the use of me continuing to defend a doomed planet? Can you see the sense in that? SISKO: No. BASHIR: No. I'm an intelligence agent, and if there's any one thing I've learnt, it is that there comes a point when the odds are against you and there is no reasonable course of action but to quit. How do you think I've managed to stay alive so long when all of my compatriots are dead? It is because I have known when to walk away. 

SISKO: You make a very interesting argument, Mister Bashir. But I'm afraid I've been looking forward to killing you for a long time. BASHIR: You need to move beyond that. You need to start thinking about your new world order. You may even need someone like me. (Bashir has moved near the control console) SISKO: If you think that by going over there you are going to destroy my control console, you're wasting your time. BASHIR: I don't intend to destroy your console, Doctor. I intend to use it. (Bashir presses the large red button.) DAX: You've just activated the final laser sequence. KIRA: You've destroyed the Earth. 

.

(Only Everest is above sea level on the map.) EDDINGTON [OC]: The holosuite now. BASHIR: Thank you. GARAK: Interesting. You saved the day by destroying the world. BASHIR: I bet they didn't teach you that at the Obsidian Order. GARAK: No, no. There was a great deal they didn't teach me. Like the value of a good game of chance, or how indulging in fantasy keeps the mind creative. BASHIR: Lunch tomorrow? GARAK: Of course. But why don't we have it at your place, in Hong Kong. Unless, of course, this was your last mission. BASHIR: Oh, I think it's safe to say that Julian Bashir, secret agent, will return. 

.

(Episode: The Quickening. Julian and Jadzia find a planet where everyone is born with a fatal disease that kills them in the final stage.)

BASHIR: Then there is a treatment for the Blight? TREVEAN: There is no cure. It's always fatal. BASHIR: I'm sorry, I don't understand. I thought you said you could have helped her. TREVEAN: Why are you here? DAX: We received a distress call. We're here to help in any way we can. BASHIR: I'm a doctor, and I have access to sophisticated diagnostic equipment. TREVEAN: We had sophisticated equipment once. Do you think our world was always this way? Two centuries ago, we were no different from you. We built vast cities, travelled to neighbouring worlds. We believed nothing was beyond our abilities. We even thought we could resist the Dominion. I see you've heard of them. Then take care not to defy them or your people will pay the same price we did. The Jem'Hadar destroyed our world as an example to others. Bring me Milani's child. More than anything, the Dominion wanted my people to bear the mark of their defiance. So they brought us the Blight. (The baby has blue veins.) TREVEAN: We're all born with it. We all die from it. When the Blight quickens, the lesions turn red. Death soon follows. Some in childhood. Most before they can have children of their own. Only a few live to be my age. BASHIR: Trevean, if you tell us what you know about the Blight, we may be able to help. TREVEAN: No. You should go. If the Jem'Hadar find you here DAX: We're willing to take that risk.

.

BASHIR: I remember running a haematology scan on Epran the other day. There were changes in the viral base-pair sequence, and I didn't know why. DAX: There's no way you could've known it was because of our instruments. BASHIR: I should have put it together. DAX: That's not fair. BASHIR: Isn't it? I'm going to tell you a little secret, Jadzia. I was looking forward to tomorrow, to seeing Kira again and casually asking, how was the nebula? And oh, by the way, I cured that Blight thing those people had. DAX: It's not a crime to believe in yourself, Julian. BASHIR: These people believed in me and look where it got them. Trevean was right. There is no cure. The Dominion made sure of that. But I was so arrogant I thought I could find one in a week. DAX: Maybe it was arrogant to think that. But it's even more arrogant to think there isn't a cure just because you couldn't find it. 

.

(Bashir walks through the street, and the people are not pleased to see him. Eventually he arrives at the mural.) EKORIA: I'm glad you got a chance to see it before you left. (She's quickened) BASHIR: Ekoria. EKORIA: I thought I'd make it. I really did. BASHIR: I'm sorry. EKORIA: Don't be. You gave me hope. I haven't felt that since before my husband died. Goodbye. BASHIR: Ekoria, wait. 

.

(And now Ekoria is giving birth.) BASHIR: Push! Good. Good. Now breathe. Don't stop breathing. Don't stop breathing. Breathe. I can see his head. And push! Push! Yes, push. Yes. Yes. (New life has arrived, crying, and with no lesions.) BASHIR: My God. That's why there's no antigen in your system. It's all been absorbed through the placenta. Ekoria, he doesn't have any lesions. He doesn't have the Blight. (Bashir gives her the child. She looks at him and dies.) 

.

(Bashir shows the baby to Trevean and his attendants.) TREVEAN: You found a cure. BASHIR: It's not a cure, it's a vaccine. Every pregnant woman should be inoculated with it as soon as possible. It won't help them, but it will protect their babies. TREVEAN: Our children won't have the Blight? BASHIR: The vaccine isn't difficult to make, but seeing that everybody gets it will be a huge task. TREVEAN: Oh, not a task, a privilege. Can you show me how to make it? BASHIR: I was hoping you'd ask that. (Bashir hands the child to Trevean. 

.

COMPUTER: Nucleotide sequencing complete. Viral reproduction normal. BASHIR: Let's try an A to C base pair reshuffling. SISKO: Doctor. I read your report. Good work. BASHIR: Thank you, sir. COMPUTER: Nucleotide sequencing complete. Viral reproduction normal. BASHIR: People are still dying back there. SISKO: Yes, but their children won't. BASHIR: That's what I keep telling myself, sir. (Sisko leaves.) BASHIR: Initiate reshuffling sequence. 

.

(Episode: Body Parts. The O’Brien’s baby has been transferred to Kira, due to an accident.)

BASHIR: Kira almost had us clear of the asteroid field, and then the deflectors became overwhelmed. We were side-swiped by a rock the size of this room. A fuel pod exploded and Keiko was thrown against the bulkhead. She had a concussion, broken ribs, internal haemorrhaging. I managed to stabilise her but the baby's autonomic functions were failing. I had to find another womb for the baby, and the only two people available were Major Kira and me. SISKO: I think you made the right choice, Doctor. O'BRIEN: But the Major's Bajoran. How can she carry a human child? BASHIR: I had to stimulate Kira's estrogen and progesterone production, and administer high doses of tesokine to enable the baby to metabolise Bajoran nutrients. SISKO: But the bottom line is it worked, right? BASHIR: Right. O'BRIEN: So, when will Keiko will be strong enough to take the baby back? BASHIR: Well, Keiko should be up on her feet in a day or two. However, the baby O'BRIEN: What? BASHIR: Major Kira will have to carry the baby to term. You see, Chief, Bajoran women carry their children for less than five months. Because they have such a short gestation period, they vascularise very quickly. Mother and child form a complex interconnecting network of blood vessels. In order to transfer the baby back to Keiko, I would have to sever those ties, which would likely cause massive internal haemorrhage in Kira and a severe respiratory trauma for the baby. O'BRIEN: So, what you're telling me is that Major Kira's going to have my baby? 

.

(Episode: Looking for Par'Mach In All The Wrong Places. Julian is treating the aftermath of Klingon sex, after two Klingons hook up with station residents.)

(Quark is battered, bruised and happy) BASHIR: A compound fracture of the right radius, two fractured ribs, torn ligaments, strained tendons, numerous contusions, bruises and scratches. What have you been doing? QUARK: You mean, what have we been doing? BASHIR: Never mind. I don't need that particular image running around in my head. I'll just treat you. (Dax and Worf enter. His hair is dishevelled and they both have scratches.) BASHIR: What happened to you two? WORF: We, er. DAX: Well, er, if you must know BASHIR: No! No, er, I don't need that image either. In fact, I'm going to stop asking that question altogether. People can come in, I will treat them, and that's all. Please, have a seat. I'll be with you in a minute. 

.

(Episode: Rapture. Sisko has been zapped with something that gives him visions from the Prophets, but it will kill him)

BASHIR: Well, there are no signs of any permanent neural damage, although I am reading some odd synaptic potentials. Let me ask you something, does my uniform look any brighter to you?

SISKO: Yes, everything does. Colours seem more intense and shapes more focused.

BASHIR: It's called post-neural shock syndrome. Your neural pathways were overloaded by the plasma burst. All external stimuli are going to seem more pronounced. It's going to take a while for things to settle down though, so I'm going to put you on restricted duty for the next three days. And if you experience any other side effects such as headaches, dizziness, even nausea, let me know immediately.

SISKO: Yes.

BASHIR: In the meantime, enjoy the show.

.

(Sisko goes over to a couple.)

SISKO: There's no need to worry. The katterpod harvest will be much better this year. (to another) You don't belong here. Go home.

(A headache hits, hard.)

BASHIR: Captain?

WHATLEY: What's wrong?

SISKO: I'm fine. Admiral.

WHATLEY: What is it, Ben?

SISKO: Your son. You can stop worrying about him. He forgives you.

(Sisko goes into the Infirmary.)

WHATLEY: How the hell did he know that Kevin and I weren't getting along?

BASHIR: He's the Emissary.

.

BASHIR: That should do it. I'll have the test results in a few minutes.

WHATLEY: Well, that wasn't so bad, was it?

KIRA: Captain?

SISKO: Cardassia.

KIRA: Sir?

SISKO: That's where it was going. The cloud.

WHATLEY: What cloud?

SISKO: I was on Bajor. B'hala had been rebuilt. The people were in the streets, celebrating. But then a shadow covered the sun. We looked up and saw a cloud filling the sky. It was a swarm of locusts, billions of them. They hovered over the city, the noise was deafening, but just as quickly as they came, they moved on. Now I know where they were going. Cardassia.

KIRA: What do you think it means?

SISKO: I don't know.

KIRA: At least the swarm was moving away from Bajor. That's a good sign. Isn't it?

SISKO: But what do these locusts represent? And why Cardassia?

WHATLEY: You were dreaming. And dreams don't always make sense.

SISKO: This was no a dream.

BASHIR: Captain, why didn't you tell me about these headaches of yours?

SISKO: I guess I was too busy.

BASHIR: Well, if you'd stayed busy much longer you could have died. The area of unusual neural activity has increased another eight percent. As a result, your basal ganglia are starting to depolarise. I'm going to have to operate, try to repolarise your neural sheaths.

SISKO: How will that affect my visions?

WHATLEY: That's not really the issue here, is it?

SISKO: It is to me. Doctor?

BASHIR: Well, there's no way to tell for sure. But I assume if I can complete the procedure, your brain activity will return to normal and the visions will stop.

SISKO: Then you can't do it.

WHATLEY: Ben, that's ridiculous.

BASHIR: If I don't operate, sir, you could die.

SISKO: I understand that. But something is happening to me. Something extraordinary. I have to see it through.

BASHIR: His entire central nervous system is depolarising. We have to operate immediately.

WHATLEY: Then what are you waiting for?

KIRA: Captain Sisko made it clear he didn't want surgery.

KASIDY: What are you suggesting, Major? We stand around and let him die?

KIRA: It isn't about what I want or what you want, it's about Captain Sisko. And he told us he doesn't want anything interfering with his visions.

WHATLEY: Major, these visions may be important, but I think we're all in agreement here that they are not as important as Captain Sisko's life. Start the procedures.

BASHIR: It's not that simple. Captain Sisko refused surgery and I can't go against the decision of my patient. Not without the express consent of his closest relative.

JAKE: I guess that means it's up to me. Dad, I know you want to see this thing to the end, but I need you. I'm sorry. Do what you have to do.

BASHIR: Prepare for surgery. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you all to leave. Nurse.

.

SISKO: No. No! You took them away.

BASHIR: We had no choice. You were dying.

SISKO: I almost had it. Almost understood it all. Now it's gone.

.

(Episode: In Purgatory’s Shadow. Worf and Garak find that Julian is in a Dominion internment camp, and now so are they.)

MARTOK: Before this asteroid was converted into a prison, the Dominion used to mine ultritium here. There was no dome. Each of these barracks had its own life support system embedded in the walls. GARAK: And Tain was able to modify that life support system and create a subspace transmitter? MARTOK: Yes. There's a crawl space just behind those panels. He spent hours in there working every day for months on end. Cardassians. They're clever people. Especially that one. But in just a few days at best, he'll be dead. WORF: Then it is up to us to be clever. ROMULAN: (woman) They're releasing him from isolation. MARTOK: Good. WORF: Who? MARTOK: A friend. (Martok and the Romulans leave, Worf and Garak follow)

GUARD: Move! (A Federation officer in old style Starfleet blue uniform is thrown out into the light. Doctor Julian Bashir.)

.

GARAK: I should never have come here. I should have let that monster die forgotten and alone. BASHIR: Frankly, I'm glad you came. Misery loves company. GARAK: All my life I've done nothing but try to please that man. I let him mold me, let him turn me into a mirror image of himself, and how did he repay me? With exile. But I forgave him. And here, in the end, I thought maybe, just maybe, he could forgive me. BASHIR: From what I've seen of him over the last month, he doesn't come across as the forgiving type. GARAK: I've been a fool. Let this be a lesson to you, Doctor, perhaps the most valuable one I can ever teach you. Sentiment is the greatest weakness of all. BASHIR: If that's true, it's a lesson I'd rather no learn. MARTOK: I thought you might want to know. If you wish to speak to Tain do it now, before it's too late.

.

(Episode: By Inferno’s Light. While Julian’s double is bringing sandwiches, those in the camp try to escape)

[Barracks]

MARTOK: He's taking too much time. BASHIR: How long has he been in there? WORF: Close to an hour. BASHIR: Garak? How's it coming along?

[Crawlspace]

GARAK: I only wish I were still a member of the Obsidian Order. This would make a wonderful interrogation chamber. Tight quarters, no air, bad lighting, random electric shocks. It's perfect. BASHIR [OC]: Sounds like you're enjoying yourself. GARAK: If you'd like, I'd happily trade places with you.

[Barracks]

BASHIR: I suppose you could give me a crash course in Cardassian field engineering. I should be ready to take over from you in what, five or six weeks?

.

(Bashir opens the panel and Garak is quickly out.)

GARAK: That was thoroughly unpleasant.

BASHIR: Are you all right?

GARAK: I am fine. It's just much hotter in there than I thought. I got a little lightheaded. Give me a minute and I'll go back in there.

BASHIR: No, you need more than a minute. Your pulse is racing. I don't want to think about your blood pressure. Maybe you should wait until tomorrow.

GARAK: Do you want to get off this hellhole or not?

BASHIR: You know I do.

GARAK: Then let me get back to work.

BASHIR: Rest for five minutes. And from here on in you can take a fifteen minute break every hour. Doctor's orders.

.

[Barracks]

BASHIR: I'm afraid that's the best I can do. Does it feel any better?

WORF: Much better.

BASHIR: You're not a very good liar, Mister Worf.

(Bang, thump, thump.)

MARTOK: What was that?

WORF: It's coming from inside the wall.

BASHIR: Garak.

MARTOK: How long has he been in there?

BASHIR: About half an hour. Garak? Garak, what is it?

MARTOK: Tell him to stop before they hear him.

BASHIR: Garak, the panel's open now. You can come out. We've got to get him out of there.

[Crawlspace

]

BASHIR: Garak. Garak, you have to stop. You're making too much noise. Garak. Garak.

GARAK: The light. The light went out.

BASHIR: I know. Come on. I think you can take your break a little early.

[Barracks]

(Garak is put to bed, eyes staring.)

BASHIR: It would appear that he suffers from an acute form of claustrophobia. It's a wonder that he lasted as long as he did.

WORF: Then one of us will have to finish reconfiguring the transmitter.

BASHIR: And who would you suggest could do that? (silence) Exactly.

MARTOK: If Garak can't contact the runabout, we're not going anywhere.

.

[Barracks] ROMULAN: Jem'Hadar. BASHIR: Can we get him out? ROMULAN: No time. (Three Jem'Hadar enter.)   JEM'HADAR: The Cardassian. Where is he? BASHIR: Outside, I suppose. (Bashir gets knocked down.) JEM'HADAR: He is not outside. (The search begins) JEM'HADAR: Move. (The Breen stands up.) BASHIR: What do you want with him? [Crawlspace]

JEM'HADAR [OC]: He is to be put to death. [Barracks]

GUARD: Sir.

(He's found the key to the panel.) JEM'HADAR: If you wish to live, explain this.

JEM'HADAR: I'll ask you for the last time. What is this? BASHIR: It's either a self-sealing stem bolt or a reverse ratcheting router, I'm just not sure. (The male Romulan is vapourised.) JEM'HADAR: She is next. GUARD: Sir. If you'll allow me? (He's moved Tain's bunk away from the panel.) [Crawlspace]

(Garak hears the panel being opened and turns off the light.)

(The soldier peers into the crawlspace.) JEM'HADAR: What do you see? GUARD: I see nothing. It's dark. (The Breen takes the officer's gun and vapourises him with it. The guard gets up and kills the Breen as he also gets shot. Meanwhile the third Jem'Hadar is struggling with the female Romulan. Bashir stabs him in the neck with the piece of metal.) ROMULAN: My people have a saying. Never turn your back on a Breen. [Crawlspace] GARAK: Doctor, would you keep the noise down? I'm trying to work in here. BASHIR [OC]: Garak, how many transtator circuits have you got left? [Barracks] GARAK [OC]: Three. BASHIR: Well, work fast, because pretty soon we're going to be up to our necks in Jem'Hadar.

[hiddenwritingsintheworld]

Lifestyle Changes Part 1 (Jared x Reader)

(New Jared x Reader series!! Only if people are interested! If not I wont continue it!) 

Donations (broke & jobless so this is my new job)

Let me know if you loved it!

               At 26 you thought you had a pretty good life, you lived in a two-bedroom loft with no roommates because you hated most people. You worked for a high profiled magazine-Enter- ‘TAIN’ ME Weekly. You were a lifestyle journalist. You took no shit from anyone and if they wanted to mess with you, you fucked them up severally.

               You partied all weekends and Monday mornings were hard, but you always worked for Fridays. You were perfectly content in life. You were successful at work, you had friends with benefits. What more could you ever want in life?

               You walked into work on Monday morning to find out that life wouldn’t be the same. You put your headphones in, grabbed a couple snack bags of chips, a diet soda from the fridge, and once seated at your desk, you slid your shoes off, turned on your laptop and began your morning breakfast. You looked over at Jeni, another “Article Author” as your dumbass boss/ editor, Rachel, called all of you.

               “So, have you heard yet?” she grinned at you. You pulled out your left headphone and shook your head as you took a drink. “Whats going on? Don’t tell me, Matt Damon got ANOTHER outer space movie???” you asked in the fake excited yet also extremely sarcastic voice you do. Jeni laughed shaking her head some. “No, apparently two new guys are starting here as interns, and they’re being put here on the 12th floor with us!” she grinned clapping her hands. You groaned, you hated interns. Partly because of how stupid they could be, the other half was because you were an intern once and it was when life was so much easier.

               “Grooosssss keep them away from me. I’m busy,” you said pulling up your article and continuing to work on it. “Oh My God.” She said in a softer tone with a dead ass seriousness to it. You looked at her before seeing her staring off toward the glass doors. Following her line of vision, you looked over and rolled your eyes. You knew exactly who these two guys were.

Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki.

What the fuck were they doing here?

               “Jesus, please I’ll go to church every fucking weekend, I’ll do ANYTHING, please Jesus.” Jeni pleaded softly. You scrunched your face looking up at her. “Gross. I have to get back to work. Leave me alone now,” you said putting your headphones back in.

               Unknown to you though, partly thanks to the headphones, Rachel had walked in with the guys and was talking about exactly why they were here. You were the only one not paying attention to her little speech and she noticed almost instantly. “Jay,” she smiled at Jensen, “I’m gonna place you with our top sports girl,” she said walking around the room as everyone got back to work. “Jeni Woods, this is Jensen Ackles, I thought he’d be a good intern for you.” Rachel smiled as Jeni stood calmly from her chair and shook his hand, though inside she was screaming her lungs out, she got Jensen set up at her desk and they began talking about what exactly she does.

               Rachel saw you still typing away eating your chips and listening to music and began to head towards you. “Now Jared I’m placing you with our lifestyle girl. She’s a bit…. well you just gotta get to know her. But I promise, this is more of a punishment for her than it is for you. See Y/N doesn’t like listening to me, she believes that it’s her piece of the magazine and no one should have a say in what she writes.” Rachel fake laughed “She’s a trooper!” she continued to laugh some “But she hates interns, I mean cannot stand them. So…you’re gonna be her intern and hopefully some of your dashing personality rubs off on her.” She grinned and stopped by your chair; you knew she was there you could sense it. But you weren’t about to give her the time of day. Suddenly, your left headphone was yanked out. You instantly stopped typing and stared at your screen for a minute before turning your chair and facing her. “Yes Rachel, whatever can I do for you this morning?” you grinned brightly at her.

               Rachel gave you a forced smile, “Good morning Y/N, great news!! I’ve seen all the hard work you’ve done so as a reward I’m giving you your very own intern!!” she clapped, everyone else around the office looked with wide eyes and concerned features. “Nah, I’m good, I’m not some lazy top-notch bitch who needs an errand boy to fetch my shit for me. Thanks though.” You put your headphone back in and went back to work. Rachel, again pulled the headphone out, “Nonsense. You’ve got an intern, so teach him what it’s like to be a journalist. Or your fired.” She grinned mumbling the last part for just you and her to hear.

               Huffing you stood and faced her, she wore a skin tight cream colored dress with thigh high black velvet boots. You smiled and nodded turning her around so you could whisper some. “You know you’re right Rachel, I’ve busted my ass for years, it’s time I got rewarded.” You put your hand on her back rubbing it some and smiled. “Thank you, you’ve just made my day.” You patted her back and turned back to the tall man as Rachel smirked and walked away. The cheese smears from your Doritos stained the back of her dress. Everyone saw as she walked back toward her office, laughing hysterically.

               “Your ass is fired.” Jason, a tall, surfer type man laughed as he leaned back in his chair. “Please, she wishes she could fire me. She doesn’t have the power.” You said sitting back in your chair and beginning to eat on your chips again. “um, is…is that your breakfast?” your new intern asked as he pulled up a chair and sat beside you. You looked at him, “Look…………what’s your name again?” you asked him. He smiled extending his hand. “I’m Jared Pada-,”

               “That was rhetorical, I don’t give a shit what your name is Jared Padalecki. I write lifestyle articles for a two-brain celled bitch named Rachel, I know who you are. I know you’re here because Rachel begged her daddy, Robert Singer, to have you and him intern here in exchange for two sperate cover stories on the both of you and also you both get $25k a piece.”

               Jared stared in shock at you, they’d been told no one would ever know.  You smirked turning back to your laptop. “Yes, this is my breakfast. You’re more than welcome to some in the breakroom.” You said after a minute. “That’s not very healthy.” He said quietly as you chuckled, “Wait until we go out on assignment together.” You smirked to yourself typing again. This might not be such a bad thing, having an intern and all.

@adriellej @teamfreewill-imagine @ellen-reincarnated1967 @babypink224221 @hobby27 @sgarrett49 @smoothdogsgirl @mrssamfuckingwinchester @traceyaudette @mogaruke @thewalkingdistancefrom @booger206 @heimganger @moonlitskinwalker @stoneygirl @monkeymcpoopoo @sandlee44 @asgardianvamp21 @frozenhuntress67​ @just-another-busy-fangirl​ @flamencodiva​ @for-the-love-of-the-fandom​ @auriel187​ @animenerdz1819​ @jessica-marsh09​ @woodworthti666​ 

[rigonelli]

Hey i absolutely looove your writing its the best!! I was wondering if you could do a prompt where mo and he tain go to a corn maze and maybe get lost or they carve pumpkins since its fall

Guan Shan rounded another corner only to walk right into a dead end.

“Alright, that’s it!” he said. “We’re officially lost.”

He Tian, whose stupid idea it had been in the first place, didn’t seem too worried. He shrugged his shoulders and turned around, pulling Guan Shan by the sleeve to try the next corner.

“I knew this would happen!” Guan Shan ranted. He was sick of seeing nothing but corn. The stalks had grown so high and dense that it was impossible to walk through them. What kind of people went to corn mazes anyway? It was pointless, cold, and no fun. They hadn’t met a single person the whole way through, which made it eerie to boot.

“Don’t worry,” He Tian said, seeing Guan Shan frown. “I took precautions in case this would happen.”

“Why didn’t you say so before? Did you print out the outlines of the maze?”

“No,” He Tian said, smiling. The smile looked more devious than it had to be and Guan Shan knew he wouldn’t like those precautions.

“I came up with a ton of corn puns to pass the time.”

“I hate you so much.”

“I know,” said He Tian, grin widening. “I shuck.”

Guan Shan was tempted to just run away and leave He Tian behind. But he knew that would only result in him wandering lost around the maze all night while He Tian called his brother to come help him out. He Cheng would probably send Qiu with his motorcycle to mow down the corn stalks and Guan Shan couldn’t miss that.

“I hope you’re not fantasizing about kicking me in the nuts with that dreamy expression,” He Tian said.

“No, I’m fantasizing about a prince coming to save me on a black stallion.”

“You’re fantasizing about other people on our first date? That’s corncerning.”

Great, he really meant to go through with it.

“Not a first date!”

“You’re right. We’ve had so many dates, I’ve lost cornt.”

“Not a date, period,” Guan Shan snapped. “Don’t just go around assuming things!”

“I’m not assuming. I asked!” He Tian insisted. “You were asleep, but you snored very affirmingly!”

Guan Shan ground his teeth. He never should have spent the night at He Tian’s. He had always known that something would happen. After all these months he had grown careless. It wasn’t as easy masking one’s feelings in the early morning hours as it was the rest of the day. Guan Shan didn’t remember what he had said in his half-sleep, but ever since, He Tian seemed to know.

“Oops,” said He Tian, staring at the dead end just ahead. “Wrong way again.”

“Maybe we should try that trick with following the right wall,” said Guan Shan.

“Maize well,” He Tian nodded. Guan Shan really felt like punching him.

They went quiet for a while, Guan Shan’s right hand brushing along the corn stalks as they walked. He tried to pay no mind to his other hand, which He Tian had taken in his as if they could get separated at any moment.

“It’s creepy that there’s no one else here,” Guan Shan said after he had failed to ignore their hand-holding.

“I know, right? It feels like we’re being…” He Tian leant over to whisper in his ear, “Stalked!”

Guan Shan had no problem letting go of his hand for that.

“I have a little present for you,” said He Tian, unfazed. He reached inside his jacket pocket and produced a tiny pumpkin. A face was carved in it.

“What am I supposed to do with this? Eat it if we don’t make it out?”

“No,” He Tian said slowly, as if Guan Shan was stupid for not understanding. “I don’t think it’s possible to starve in a corn maze anyway. Did you know you can eat-“

“I’ll punch you!”

“The pumpkin reminded me of you,” said He Tian.

“I can see that. You carved my face into it. I don’t look happy.”

“It’s small, red, and delicious. Like you.”

“It’s also angry. Like me,” Guan Shan said, pointing to his own expression, which He Tian had captured quite realistically.

“So you don’t like it?”

“Why would I like it? It’s a shit present!” Guan Shan ripped the pumpkin from He Tian’s hand, shaking it in He Tian’s face. “Look at that! What am I supposed to do with it? You could have brought a flare gun – that I would have been very thankful for!”

“Really? How thankful exactly?” asked He Tian.

That asshole! If he seriously had a flare gun and not lost a word about it so far, Guan Shan was going to punch him. He pocketed the pumpkin, trying hard to breathe deep and relax. All he wanted right now was to get out of this stupid maze. There was a little restaurant not far from the corn field. They could go and warm up with a cup of hot chocolate and some cake. It was essential that Guan Shan didn’t lose his cool now, if he wanted that little fantasy to become reality.

“I’d be so thankful… that I’ll let you call this a date,” he said through ground teeth.

“It is a date. You can call it whatever you want. What else?”

“I’ll… erm… I’ll…” He could feel his face heat up again. “Hold your hand?”

“Boring,” said He Tian. “We did that five minutes ago. You shouldn’t have spoilt me before.”

“I’ll laugh at your corny jokes!”

“It’s more fun when you hate them.”

“Fuck!” Guan Shan cursed, kicking at a corn stalk. Truth be told, he would do anything to get out of here. Even some things he had tried very hard never to think about – at least when he was awake. He couldn’t really help it when he dreamed. But this… this was a life-and-death situation, wasn’t it? He had no choice. He Tian was practically blackmailing him here.

“You are the lowest of all creatures and I want you to know that I hate you from the bottom of my heart!” Guan Shan said, just before he seized He Tian by the jacket collar, tiptoed, and pecked He Tian on the lips.

When he pulled back, He Tian had turned to stone. It was confusing enough to keep Guan Shan’s head from exploding, at least.

“What?” Guan Shan asked when a minute had passed and He Tian still just stared at him, mouth slightly open, eyes unblinking.

“It’s just… I wouldn’t have expected that action to be followed by those words,” He Tian finally said. His voice sounded a little higher than usual.

“It’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”

“I mean… yes?” He Tian said, still looking shocked. “But you never gave me anything I wanted so freely.”

“I didn’t give it freely! You blackmailed me!”

“What? How?”

“The flare gun!” Guan Shan said. “You forced me to be thankful for-“

“I don’t have a- why would I have a flare gun? It was just a rhetorical question.”

“You don’t have a…” Guan Shan turned around and sank to the ground, covering his face with his hands. “Oh my- FUCK!”

Behind him, he could hear He Tian laughing. It sounded more hysterical than anything.

“SHUCK UP!” Guan Shan shouted. He didn’t know why it came out as a pun – maybe it was some kind of defense mechanism. He Tian only laughed more. Guan Shan let him, too busy trying to persuade the ground to open up and swallow him.

After the laughter had trickled away, Guan Shan felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Come on, let’s get out of here. The right-wall-trick will lead us out sooner or later. And I promise I won’t tell anyone about our little misunderstanding just now. Alright?”

It was a sensible suggestion. More sensible than Guan Shan would have thought He Tian capable of.

“Treat me to hot chocolate when we get out,” Guan Shan said, letting He Tian pull him to his feet. He didn’t protest when He Tian didn’t let go of his hand.

“I’ll treat you to so much hot chocolate that you’ll want to puke.”

“That doesn’t sound very appealing.”

“And when you puke, I’ll hold your hair back for you.”

“There isn’t anything to hold back-“

“And if I’m not mistaken, that thing over there looks like the scarecrow that welcomed us into the maze.”

Guan Shan looked up, and indeed, there was an ugly scarecrow looking at him from the other end of the path.

They had found the exit.

“Oh,” said Guan Shan, slowing down a little. He hadn’t expected to get out so soon.

“What’s wrong?” asked He Tian.

“Nothing. Just… about before…”

Guan Shan turned his head away, hoping he wouldn’t blush too hard.

“You’re really not gonna tell anyone, right?”

“What happens in the maze, stays in the maze,” He Tian promised. “There’s only one thing I’ll tell people if they ask.”

“What’s that?”

He shouldn’t have asked, because the question summoned that grin back onto He Tian’s face. The pun grin.

“That our first date was absolutely A-maize-ing!”

[wristic]

Between Earth and Hades (Part 3)

Pairing: Erik X Reader (ho ho! Yeah we’re crossing into that territory!)

Word Count: 1900

Warnings: none

-Part 1- Part 2- -Part 3- -Part 4- -Part 5- -Part 6-

You’ve since moved out of the Mansion and are partly striking it up on your own. Your own bare apartment, working a job that doesn’t actually pay, but now a member of the X-men. You’ve taken your fair share of hits but this one’s got everyone riled up, Erik going a step too far in keeping you safe.

Your footsteps were loud as they dragged on the carpet, the welcoming smell of your small apartment immediately dulling your eyes into sleep. You only bothered with turning on the kitchen light to see where you were going, shaking off your jacket and hissing as your shoulder blade flared up from the hard hit you took, unaware of a ricochet of debris that knocked you off balance and evaporated your main means of defense.

You weren’t called on too often, Charles wanting you to focus more on your internship than saving the day, but being apart of the X-men you were prone to coming home with a few bruises or a dozen. It was nothing and right now you were ready for three days of sleep, knowing you would have to wake up in five hours.

Make that less than five hours as a knock came at your door. With a hard groan and a slow turn, you went to the door to reassure Ivete and Ed for the tenth time you didn’t in fact need to see a doctor. The concern was heartwarming, even more so knowing it was genuine concern and not just Ivete being a team leader while Ed was being worrywort Ed, but it was way too late in the night for this. Opening the door, you froze.

“Professor Lehnsherr?”

Erik smirked at the formality you couldn’t seem to shake, walking by and into the apartment, nonchalant as if he did it all the time. “Saw you took a pretty bad hit tonight.”

Rolling your eyes so hard your head rolled back, you didn’t bother to quiet your groan as you shut the door. “Not you too!”

“It was close.” His voice drifted as he looked around at the near empty housing, “Closer than you seem to think…”

Letting your arms dangle you regretted it, wincing at the little throw. “It’s hard to guess where debris is going to fly, I’ll remember to duck next time.”

When you neared he tipped and turned, eyes tained more on your slumped shoulder than your face. “Lets see it.”

It was hard to hide how much of a spin that took you, forcing a scoff out of yourself to counter it. “It’s nothing-”

“Than let me see.” Taking a deep steadying breath, you turned around and pulled down the shoulder of your black tee, thankful it was X-men issued elastic. You felt your face heat as he tugged it down more, seeing the entirety of the deep bruise already formed. With his thumb he pressed it lightly, causing you to cry out and arch out of his reach.

Tossing the shirt back up, it was surprising to not see his usual smirk for that kind of teasing, instead he remained unusually somber about the whole thing. “You should get that checked out.”

You waved it off and gave a vague not-a-problem grunt, making for the bedroom. “I just need a good rest and I’ll be fine.” As much as you craved his presence, you were desperate for those few hours dwindling fast.

Feeling a hand on your waist startled you, halting and looking from it to Erik’s knitted face, your mouth going dry with a hard shift in emotions. “Tonight was too close.”

You tilted your head with a grin, trying so desperately to shake off the unease squeezing your chest. “It wasn’t that close. I’ve taken worse hits in training-” He stepped closer, his hand seeming to warm under the urgent tension of his gaze.

“You were left exposed in a firefight. You-”

Against your better judgment you took a snarky edge. “That’s what my team is for.”

Erik searched in your eyes. There were tapes, recordings of the run for analysis, make sure your team didn’t miss anything or simply gauge techniques used. He didn’t know how to tell you his stomach dropped seeing your mist brush away and you cry out, falling down on one knee and holding your shoulder in agony. It wasn’t the hit that broke him in a cold sweat, it was the guards raising their weapons having finally found you. You were blind to all of it while it happened, but if it hadn’t been for Jan’s heightened animal speed and Ivete’s distraction you wouldn’t be standing in your apartment now, but filled with lead in a body bag. You thanked Jan for his quick rescue but didn’t truly understand how close you’d been to death. He wanted to tell you but every word caught in his throat. Swallowing them down he removed his hand as it itched to pull you closer and avoided meeting what would be your stubborn gaze.

“Maybe take a break, focus on your work like Charles wants.”

You snapped back confused like he knew you would. “I can do both.”

“It’s not about what you can and can’t do, you have a foundation of a future to start. Focus on that for now.” Erik put every ounce of his authority in his voice but you only scoffed at it.

“I can do both! The X-men mean everything to me! It feels like where I’m meant to be, it’s where I want to be! You can’t just take that away on a bruise!”

Grinding his teeth, Erik huffed, “If you’re going to be stubborn about it than you leave me no choice but to forcefully remove you from the archive.”

Your stomach dropped, feeling woozy and taking a step back in shock. “You’re blacklisting me!?”

“Just...until you’ve healed-”

“I’ve broken bones before! It’s just a bruise! Erik-”

“You’re not going in the field until I say so.” He held up a hand at your would-be argument, “That’s final.” Erik slammed your own door on you, but he was unable to leave it knowing you were fuming on the other side. He stared at his feet, glued a few inches from the wood listening for anything inside. The sound of something crashing the proof that you were righteously furious with him. This was only for his peace of mind and he hated knowing that. You were strong, you always were. He shouldn’t be worrying as much as he was but Erik couldn’t let you go back into the field until he felt his hands stop shaking every time he thought of all those guns and bullets he wasn’t there to save you from.

“Hello Professor Xavier!” It may have been a cheery tone but Charles could feel the fury under your words. Part of him wanted to keep strolling along and avoid your and Erik’s unresolved tensions that always seem to come down on him, but sighing, that just wasn’t the kind of man he was.

“Hello how can-”

“You know Professor Lehnsherr blacklisted me from the X-men?”

Resisting the urge to groan, he nodded. “I do. Personally I think it’s-” he stopped himself feeling you ready to jump the gun again.

“But you’re going to take that ban off right? Because clearly he’s being ridiculous.”

Charles stared at you, entirely done being the middleman to these skirmishes. You raised your brow impatiently waiting for a response cause there was no way you were going to back out of this. Unclamping his jaw Charles calmly asked, “Did you think to ask him why he worries so much about your safety?” You went to complain some more but he cut you off knowing it was going to be more of your mindlessly venting. “I’m aware you’re used to people underestimating you but you know Erik has always ever seen the best in you.”

You gulped and looked away, always so unshakable with your denial.

Rubbing his temple Charles reminded himself you two should work this out between yourselves, but this threatened to just rift you two further, both too stubborn to make up. And honestly he’d been having a rough week, there was no way he was going to deal with you two moping about, asking him what you should do. You guys wanted guidance, you were going to get it.

“Go talk to him. Tell him how you feel.”

“I feel betrayed he would-!”

“No. Tell him, how you feel.”

You gaped at him, tensing in your fluster. “I-I don’t know what-”

“It’s hard for Erik to admit because you used to be his student. There’s nothing stopping you outside of your refusal to admit just how much you care from him.” You still stuttered. “Go ahead, keep denying it, but he’s trying to protect you because he can’t stand to see you hurt. I was with him watching the camera’s when you were hit. Every guard in that room was ready to swiss you had Jan and Ivete not intervened. The amount of fear that hit Erik watching a pre-recorded video of you nearly dying, frightened him to the point he immediately left to check on you.” Charles chuckled and shook his head. “As if you had been shot and in critical stasis instead of heading home to sleep off your one bruise.”

“Well it…” you mumbled kicking the wood floor. “It’s a pretty big bruise...”

“Mm.” Charles rolled his eyes while you weren’t looking. “Just please go settle this like an adult. If you’re worried about being rejected, you won’t be. Now if you’ll excuse me.” He spun back around back on his previous destination of breakfast.

You were left surrounded by bustling teenagers yet feeling oddly on stage. Taking a few breaths you turned back, heading to the training area you knew Erik would be in, Charles’ words echoing over and over again. You always assumed you were imagining chemistry between you two, little girl with a big dumb crush. Standing alone in the elevator you giggled to yourself, twisting anxiously and making yourself small while you fought to catch your elated breath.  

On exiting and walking to the thick steel door of the ‘Danger Room’, it sliding open to see him instructing some student, sent all that jitteriness turned on its head and suddenly you were breaking in a nervous sweat realizing what you were about to do. You stood frozen at the door watching him.

Erik’s gaze eventually met you and you smiled out of shyness. It visibly confused him, walking to you as you fought not to back out. He’d probably been expecting you to come down and yell at him some more, fight for days on that position in the X-men. Instead you were stiff in front of him, silent but smiling at the room.

Coughing you finally spoke. “I...uh...I just wanted to say…” Looking up at him, real and in front of you, you beat your shoe toe tip on the floor to stop from running. “I think maybe you were right. I-I could use a break, clear my head and...think about things.”

That took him back, a smile breaking because you were clearly hiding something. “Well I’m glad you feel that way. You should know by now I’m always right.” He teased, but all you could think about was his hand on your waist and his aftershave that stayed when he leaned to you as he spoke, so stern and so stricken with grief. Feeling way too hot under the collar you nodded, trying your hand at pretending everything was normal.

“Or maybe I’m just growing up and being all responsible.” Maybe. Maybe not as much as you’d like to be in this particular situation. Stumbling to the exit, only worrying Erik more you chimed, “Alright, gotta-go!”

[throwingideasatthewall]

Clone Wars    Episode 11

     Dooku captured

An    inte     resting       none          the            less

On with           it

 [Title     screen]

Quote;

A Long        One

 The winding path to peace is       always a worthy one, regardless     of how many turns it takes

Uh, no

 The path to peace is a   “get your shit together mate”       Straightforward     path

 That’s the road to       enabling

  5 is the limit

  Whelp

  “Man      hunt,”

  Shows a clone beating up a      droid

   Who is supposed to be hunted      here?

    Cause those are soldiers

    Man-Hunt          -Generally         implies some kind of innocence

     Or       wrongness          To the         scenario

     Then again  

     this is a machines vs hu       mans con      flict

   So technically      counts

   Separatist leader        Count Dooku

   Oh yeah,    so definitely not    innocent

I would say      why/      how

   But      I’m     betting      grievous

 Tipped       them      off

 After         the    bullshit    pulled     last    episode

  To       “retest”   him     back

  Also      Guard     bots

  We’re      not       using     scenes     from      the      movie    are     we?

 Still     blank     faced        which          is     good

 Gone     Missing

  Obi-Wan;      where         is       my     servant      boy?

 Obi-Wan     Kenobi      heads      towards       his      friends       last     location

    “Friend,”             Riight

[Also     Obi-wan looks like such a nerd

   The far reaches       ,of the outer rim

    Always       those        frickers

Whelp

  Magic      Whole

Guards

 Whelp

Pressing     But   -tons

 Doing     Stuff

  Good       for     them

  [surpris         ingly       non-        talk      ative]

  There       he        is

   Whelp

    There         he          is

   Whelp

   Smart       droid

    Wow

   Okay-

   Woah-

    Don’t      worry

   Snark

   Also     I don’t      think        were     prisoners         they      were    playing     cards

  Whelp

   There      they        go

  Whelp        No

   Just      walk         in

  Wait

  There       it      is

 *he

 “ oh        it’s     you,”

  Wrong     tone

  Pounce       on      me     from      the    ceiling

  Too    much     tone

  Light     saber      thanks

    In        Jail

  “I know      he’s on       board,”

    Not like he       moved       after      throwing         you       in      jail

   In case you       contact       ed        some         one

  Might’ve      Been      able       to      do       some     thing          if         I      had         my    weapon

 [Obi-Wan       stole         his     light saber?]

     Also        this         is       why      writing         a      child    character            (With           Tone        )    Doesn’t       Work

   Children        can’t         do     knowledge          and      adults          can’t          do     stupidity         (Uninten      -tionally)

It comes off creepy and     un-natural

     It      was     impor    -tant      for     you      to    arrive     with      -out         it

  Cap        ture      would          be      con       -vincing

     Oh       yeah        sir       this      Jedi      just       arri     -ved    with   out           a         light     saber   

   and      Surrender          Ed

  “Lock      down        the      entire      base,        check        for      scout       patrols      im            -mediately,”

    That’s        how          it       would’ve        gone       rea       list           ic      ally

   Oh     they     were   convinced     alright

  Again having him     authentically lose        his light saber      would’ve       been       more    con      -vincing

  Also    writing          a     child        like       an      adult

  You      want        instant     catharsis?

     Write            an          adult

      Writing              a         child         like         an        adult         is    narrative     cheating

 Take     this     line;             “When     you’re         a     Jedi    master      you      can      make         the      plans,”

  Normally        this        would          be       Boomer         bait            And a taunt at someone          (a child)          who         doesn’t         know           they’re            being           taunted

        Or           a         tox       comment          at        one        of      his      colle       agues    carrying          the         tense        ness          of            possibly         being         held         account           able

Here;      Anakin       could          just      whack        him

     Hey if he broke the        rule of realistic child behavior

    Who’s to         say he can’t break the rule of a child can’t outstand adult

       And               the story refuses to hold him accountable to the standards of an            adult

       Attempting to put him with this      innocence-

      Just no          it does not       work

     Surprise,         surprise

      It’s a       hologram

   Weird         position         to       catch       them        in

Obi-Wan     Kenobi

  Or     not...

 “An      unpleasant disturbance       in      the     force,”

   Get    roasted     Kenobi

  Deal        ing      with       some     thing         above      your     caliber

  Freed     young    Skywalker

   Foreshadowing          doesn’t            work             like             that            movie

         Stick with Checkov’s gun

 100%       Account       ability       And        us        age        Is     Always     better      than      unaccounta       bility       and     Unchild          like     behavior

   Like       I     can     see     him    snap       -ping       at     Obi-Wan         Over           This

    And       the     un    realistic       “I’m      not       a     child        I      don’t      need      saving        thing,”

   And the          “Dooku        made      him       do        it     thing!”

   When        no       that’s        not       how        it      works       (on      either     accounts       ...)

    Just     -no       don’t        do         it

Be     Better

    “Sir        there’s          a       Jedi      cruiser       attack     -ing,”

    Oh

   So we’re        not     going     that     direc    tion?

 Good     good    continue

  Whelp

  There’s      Rex

   Oh     geez      it’s     Ahsoka      (Contrary         to       belief          I       don’t       hate       this       character,          I        hate        how       they      refuse           to      write       this    character           (or       any        of       the      female       child   characters)      realistically,      portraying    them       as     more    mature

 Which is     terrible

   And      the      fact      that      they       got      Anakin     character         wrong      worries        me

     But    Hey      maybe        this            is        the        episode-      where       they        get     Ahsoka        right...

 [with clear     tone]            Let’s         try       not          to      blow        up        the       ship        this       time

Aaahhhhhhhhh

               Things                   happen

                But I’m just                    gone

                 The stakes                        are                       gone

                     So                         is                        my                       brain

                    And                        my                     interest

                   “ I                    should’ve,”

                  No

                 Just                     No

 Argh

Arrgh!

 Such       -Bull

    -

What ever

 Okay...

   ...

  Ha      (Not)

  ...

 Whelp

 ...

Okay

That’s   what           you’re    doing

....

....

Okay

What ever

Movie

Whelp

Yea    -h

Okay

 That’s   happen       ing 

 ....

Uhm

Okay

What     -ever

 Uhm

 More     Stuff

 Things     Shak    -ing

 ...

 Non     -sense

  Uh      - huh

 Yep

Alright

 Okay

  Inte      resting      (Said     with     heavy    sarcasm)

  (Anakin         can     probably-     survive    that       he’s    un     child like!”

   The odds

   And my     nerves

 Gone-

  Ai      ght

Da     Da       da

  Okay...          Things         are     happening....

     [at the        bare        mini         -mum         that         can          be          said!]

       There           are           pictures             on              the           screen            and           they            are          mov            ing

Argh!

 Just    plain      ugh

 “This       Movie”             (And      yes     I    know    I use     that    term   exceptio     -  nally     loosely

   ...is           A              Slug

    We’re          Only         -4:59-       Min       utes          In

     My      interest-           is        lost,-

     And I resorted      to       the            “If’s, what’s and “what-ever’s”

    Never        a good sign

    ......

  What ever

 They crash land    on an icy planet

   Which could be interesting           given Obi-Wan’s blue        and water       association

   Forced to      reckon with the nature of his own     subjectivity

   And a force he can’t     overcome

   Reflecting back        his own pain and       misery

    And         forcing him to see        himself and the       choices he made      clearly

  And     his reaction to    them

  Instead we     get to see him snarking      at Anakin

  What     could’ve     worked

   Is the size of two equal     coins

 Another     Adult     Char      acter

 An     enabler

  Obi-Wan       either turning to        Them         As a       distraction

    Or      seeming to face the      consequences of      his actions

   Or how both     Obi-Wan and       Dooku         Share    responsibility

   Possibly       some     symbolism

  And oil      spilling from the        tank

 Representing       Corr        -uption

   And possibly      Obi-Wan‘s decision      to turn to         it

    Sorry I got bored

   What was      happening      on screen?

  Okay, right  Dooku  tank        i’m not missing      anything      important

   You know what would be interesting?

  Obi-Wan      finding       an ice-

  -crystal          Or     maybe       an      ice       cave,        Liter-         ally      reflect       -ing        his     cho-ices     back       at      him

 Wouldn’t         that         be     fun-ner-          ?

 “Cave”

  Are     they     ac-t      -ually

  No     it’s     a     dark      black    cave

   Representing how a pretty outside doesn’t equal morally accountable   inside?

 No

  What about those little       beads-?

   No

  For the        sake-    of entertainment

 What-

Beads= inherent good   they travel in the   cave   with their   light saber

It doesn’t mean anything does  it?

 No

  The point being   ,I know everything doesn’t have to have    morales, but the concept is so    dead in the   water          That     I’ve started talking to myself for entertainment

Watching    because at some point I hope     at some point      The narrative assumes some   accountability      (And stops     writing Anakin unchildlike)       So I can have some investment      in their story

 So far     toasters

  Toasters         are        neat

  They heat up         bread

  They use       elec        -tric        -ity

  Wel

   I think      they’re pretty neat

  (So long as used        responsibly           And the metal    sourced     Ethical       -ly?

   Anyway             Pretty          neat

      They          make       the       world       a       better      place

      You            Want              To               Know                 Why               My               Lecture                 About              Toasters

           Was                More

        Enter-tain             ing

         Than                         This

         Epi-              Sode?

           I               Don’t              Say            “Toasters               Can                 Fly,”

           And             Ex           -pect              You                To                Sit               Through                 My                 Non-                  Sense                  About                  Fly                   -ing                    Toasters

              (With                     Un-                      Roll                 -ed                     Eyes

                It’s                      Not                   That                      You                     Don’t                      Like                       Toasters                      It’s                        That                          You                      Don’t                         Like                         Me                        Breaking    -                  The                        limits                           Of                       Time                        and                       Space                           (As                            well                               as                             basic                            logic)                              for                                my                               story

 That’s        how          I feel        about          this     episode

  I like     Obi-wan

  (I think     they did      his    character    relatively        well     at beginn      -ing)

    I    don’t like     how     the    story   and chara-   cters    (Others)       Were       Bent        To       His      Will

 (Especially when they were others more       suited for the role        that didn’t require      bending)