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#and not the flawless its perfect every time take that instagram gives you
pablo9306 · 11 months
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The Impact of Instagram on Teen Body Images and ways to ignore them
In todays age of social media, Instagram has emerged as one of the most popular platforms among teenagers. While it provides a space for self-expression and connection with friends and family, it also has a significant impact on the body images of young individuals. In this blog post, I am going to go in depth on how Instagram influences teen body images and how we can ignore them
So to start us off, I wanted to talk about Comparison Culture Instagram is filled with carefully picked profiles showcasing seemingly flawless bodies and lifestyles either if its body builders or people with a lot of makeup on. Teens are bombarded with images of those profiles. This constant exposure creates a culture of comparison, where teenagers feel pressured to conform to unrealistic and often unattainable body ideals. This was one big thing that has been on my mind for awhile, that Comparing one another is not right and should never happen, it destroys people's mental health for not being up to date on things and looks
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Next up on the list is Influencer Culture Influencers on Instagram often promote certain beauty standards and products. People, mostly Teens, who are highly impressionable, may idolize these influencers and would want to emulate their appearance. They may start comparing themselves to these influencers and feeling horrible or left out if they don't meet the same standards. One example being a teenager might feel dissatisfied with their body because it doesn't resemble that of their favorite fitness influencer. for example maybe its someone who wants to look like Brooke Monk, or someone who wants to look like one of the Trent twins (these are just exemples) this is what destroys people self confidence and mental health and gives them a lot of stress for “not being up to date on beauty standards'' 
Finally we have Filters and Editing. I wanted to talk about this as it's just stupid all around as so many people use these nowadays you cant tell whats real or not. So to start off Instagram offers a range of filters and editing tools that allow users to enhance their appearance. These tools can be used to mess around and have fun, but they also contribute to the distortion of reality. Teens might develop an unhealthy obsession with achieving the perfect look through excessive editing or using filters that create a false sense of beauty. People out there go nuts for attention, some people even spend hours on those filters perfecting them, and they don't even look like that in real life.
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I also wanted to mention Makeup, Its used everywhere now even if it's just a quick photo or going out, people will always use makeup, makeup in my opinion is like using one of the Instagram filters but having it on you temporally and only taking it off when you want to stop receiving attention. People go crazy on makeup just like Instagram filters which has the same consequences.
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So what are some things we can do to ignore and stop it?
One main thing anyone can do is take breaks from social media take periods of time or days where you intentionally disconnect from Instagram and other social media platforms.  As well you can set a few boundaries by only being on Instagram for a few hours or even just every few days. Another thing is to take control of the content you see on Instagram by actively curating your feed by unfollowing accounts that show unrealistic beauty standards or negatively impact your self-esteem. Instead, we can follow accounts that promote body positivity, self-acceptance, and mental well-being.
In Conclusion, Instagram Is a great social media app that is used by many people worldwide, while that is the case teens will have body image issues that cannot be underestimated. The constant exposure to beauty/body building profiles, influencer culture, and the use of filters and editing tools all contribute to an environment that fosters comparison and unrealistic beauty standards. However, it's important to remember that Instagram also offers opportunities for positive change, with body positivity leading the way. As others mostly teens navigate this digital landscape, we should promote self-acceptance and a healthy relationship with social media.
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tpd12 · 7 months
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10 Popular Social Media Tools
Make your business more successful with a high-end and ultra-fast marketing strategy. It is not impossible to go far from where you start now. Just follow the guidelines and take assistance from a reputed digital marketing team. According to the new-age business progression system, nothing makes a company highly successful like a most used social media tool. Social media marketing is the secret to reaching maximum clients and getting more traffic for abundant prosperity. Do not be late and contact a reputed tech firm to know the process for business spreading swifter in the global market.Social media tools are the weapon that makes a business profile more professional and precious. Today, a business cannot last in the market for months or years-long without a systematic decision. And the only way to get a better result is to promote the company on the online platform. No need to say, the way online platforms fetch consumers nothing can compete with it.
Top 10 social media tools for business- Check It Out Now 
Online marketing is effective and efficient for sure. But at the same time, it can give the company trouble if the platform is not selected carefully. So, before choosing any social media site for business circulation, you must know the top ten social tools of social media marketing.
Here, the 10 social media tools are noted down with brief notes. Just take a look:
Falcon.io- Every marketer who prefers social media promotion flawless, go for this site. It makes business more fast spreading due to an entertainment-based social media marketing strategy. Reputed online platforms like Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Twitter are the sites Flacon.io uses for business expansion. 
Hootsuite- This one will rank top always if it comes to the most popular social media tool of 2022. This tool has had immense support from various media marketing and management houses since 2008. Hootsuite is the tool for professional blogging, and a checklist cannot be fulfilled without this site and its unparalleled support. 
Eclinecher-This one is the top-ranked tool of this year, and the reason for getting the highest position is multiple. Eclinecher is the ultimate platform for integrating Google and social media analysis. It is a well-performing tool for hashtag and keyword monitoring, URL shortening, tracking, and campaigning.  
Sprout Social- This tool has a 4.3 rating out of 5, and the reasons are many. It helps clients to make intact relationships with customers within the shortest span. Sprout Social will come into view when you search for the most used social media tool this year. 
Loomly- Another highest and most searched social media marketing tool is Loomly. All the most popular social media platforms are associated with Loomly, like Pinterest, LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok. 
Agorapulse- This social media marketing tool gains a 4.5 ranking out of 5. And one of the most effective and successful tools nowadays. Nothing comes in competition to Agorapulse when it comes to completing social media integration management. It is designed with systematic analytics, social inbox management, a visual calendar, scheduling, etc. 
Sendible- Brand value development goes well with perfection due to Sendible. This is one of the best social media marketing tools, without a doubt. The top-ranked social media tool comes with Smart Queue specialty, and it helps social sites with repurposing content.  
SocialPilot- The name itself shows that this one will help any business take off much faster. It is the platform for permission settings, custom reporting for consumers, and collaboration tools.  
Buffer- One of the most comfortable and easy-going tools is Buffer. It makes posting and publishing hassle-free with the help of debonair engagement, analytics, one queue, and team attributes. 
Later- The best social media marketing tools list is incomplete without Later. This one has the best software for social media management. It works effortlessly for high-end and most popular social media platforms like Instagram. Content planning optimization with the supreme-quality analytical feature is the top secret of this tool.  
Contact the TP Digital Technologies team for the ultimate growth in business with advanced tech support and perceptive social media marketing. This well-appreciated agency will never let you down with performance and pricing. Just consult with the experts regarding the top 10 social marketing tools and make business affluence accordingly from now.  
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abbyhaliti5 · 11 months
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The Search for Perfection: NYC's Best Blonde Colorists
In a bustling metropolis like New York City, where every street seems to have its own unique vibe, the quest for perfection never ceases. It’s not just about finding the perfect slice of pizza or the ideal Instagram-worthy spot; it’s also about achieving the perfect hair color. If you’re on the hunt for that flawless shade of blonde, you’re in the right place. Join me as we embark on a journey to discover NYC’s best blonde colorists, the maestros of hair transformation who can make your blonde dreams come true.
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What makes a blonde colorist the best?
Defining Excellence in Hair Coloring
What sets the best blonde colorists apart from the rest? It’s not just about the tools we use or the products we recommend. The finest colorists are artists in their own right. We have an innate understanding of the colors that will complement your skin tone, the techniques that will suit your lifestyle, and the patience to bring your blonde vision to life. We are your trusted guides on the path to the perfect shade.
The Art of Balayage: A Delicate Brushstroke
Embracing the Sun-Kissed Look
Balayage is a French term that means “to sweep” or “to paint.” It’s a technique that has taken the hair-coloring world by storm. Unlike traditional foiling, balayage creates a soft, sun-kissed effect that grows gracefully. The best blonde colorists have mastered this delicate brushstroke, giving your hair a natural and radiant appearance.
Blonde Ambition: From Platinum to Honey
Exploring Various Shades of Blonde
Blonde is not a one-size-fits-all category. Whether you desire a platinum ice queen look, a warm honey glow, or something in between, the best blonde colorists can customize your shade. We understand that the perfect blonde for you is a reflection of your personality and style.
The Magic of Consultation: Tailoring Blonde to You
Customization is Key
One of the marks of a top-tier colorist is their dedication to consultation. We listen to your desires, assess your hair’s condition, and suggest a shade that will complement your features. It’s a personalized experience that ensures your blonde is uniquely yours.
Trust the Reviews: Social Proof Speaks Volumes
Real Stories from Real Clients
In the digital age, reviews and testimonials are powerful tools for decision-making. The best blonde colorists have a trail of happy clients who can vouch for their expertise. Take time to read the experiences of others to find your perfect colorist.
Bringing Out Your Best Blonde: The Process Unveiled
Step-by-Step Transformation
Ever wondered how magic happens? The process of achieving the perfect blonde is a fascinating journey. From the initial consultation to the final reveal, the best colorists have a well-defined process that ensures your satisfaction.
The Salon Experience: Beyond Just Coloring
A Relaxing Escape
Visiting the best blonde colorists isn’t just about hair; it’s about the overall experience. Top-notch salons offer a relaxing environment where you can escape the hustle and bustle of the city while your hair gets pampered.
Blonde Maintenance: Tips for Keeping Your Glow
Nurturing Your Blonde Locks
Maintaining your blonde locks in the vibrant city of NYC can be a challenge. The best colorists don’t just give you a beautiful shade; We also provide you with expert advice on how to keep it looking its best.
Budget Considerations: Quality vs. Price
Is it worth the investment?
The pursuit of perfection often comes with a price tag. Are the best blonde colorists worth the investment? Let’s delve into the factors to consider when balancing quality and budget.
Hidden Gems: Exploring NYC’s Diverse Boroughs
Best Blonde Colorists in Every Corner
New York City is a diverse tapestry of boroughs, each with its own unique charm. The best blonde colorists aren’t limited to Manhattan; we can be found in Brooklyn, Queens, the Bronx, and Staten Island. Let’s explore the hidden gems across the city.
The Benefits of Going Blonde: Beyond Aesthetic
Confidence and Self-Expression
Going blonde is more than just changing your appearance; it’s about boosting your confidence and expressing your unique style. Discover the personal benefits of embracing the blonde look.
Blonde at Any Age: From Teens to Seniors
Ageless Beauty
Blonde isn’t reserved for the young or the old; it’s a timeless choice. From teenagers to seniors, the best blonde colorists can create a look that enhances your beauty, no matter your age.
Sustainability in Hair Coloring: An Eco-Friendly Choice
Caring for the Environment
As the world becomes more conscious of sustainability, some colorists are embracing eco-friendly practices. We’ll explore how you can achieve a stunning blonde while also caring for the environment.
Challenges of Going Blonde: What to Expect
Being Informed and Prepared
Going blonde isn’t always a walk in the park. It’s essential to be informed about the challenges you might encounter, from maintenance to potential hair damage. The best colorists will guide you through these obstacles.
Your Blonde Journey: Making the Right Choice
Finding Your Perfect Colorist
Your journey to the perfect blonde begins with the right colorist. Explore your options, read reviews, and take the time to consult with potential colorists to ensure you find the one who truly understands your vision.
Finding the best blonde colorist in NYC is a quest that leads to transformation and self-discovery. Your hair is a canvas, and the right colorist is the artist who can turn your dreams into reality. Whether you’re drawn to the sun-kissed allure of balayage or the captivating world of platinum and honey shades, NYC’s best blonde colorists are here to make it happen.
FAQs: Your Blonde Journey, Demystified
1. What is the difference between balayage and traditional highlighting?
Balayage is a freehand painting technique that creates a softer, more natural look compared to traditional foiling, which is more precise. Balayage allows for a seamless blend of colors and less noticeable regrowth lines.
2. How often should I touch up my blonde hair?
The frequency of touch-ups depends on your hair’s growth rate and the desired look. Generally, every 6–8 weeks is recommended, but your colorist will provide personalized guidance.
3. Can I go from dark hair to blonde in one session?
Going from dark to blonde in a single session is possible, but it’s a delicate process that can take several hours. Patience and a skilled colorist are key to achieving this transformation.
4. What products can I use to maintain my blonde hair at home?
Your colorist can recommend specific products for your hair type and color. Typically, you’ll need a purple shampoo to combat brassiness and a good conditioner to keep your locks healthy.
5. How do I choose the right shade of blonde for my skin tone?
The best way to choose the right shade is by consulting with a professional colorist. We will consider your skin tone, eye color, and personal style to help you find the perfect blonde for you.
Your journey to becoming the perfect blonde is an exciting one, filled with possibilities. Whether you’re looking for the best blonde colorist in Manhattan, Brooklyn, or any other part of NYC, the key is to explore, consult, and trust the artist who will paint your world with the perfect shade of blonde. So, embrace your inner blonde and let the magic begin!
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tejaswinimakeup · 1 year
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Makeup Tips for Your Perfect Wedding Day
Walking down the aisle wearing your dazzling wedding dress and an impeccable radiant glow on your face, your wedding day is truly the most cherished moment of your life. Every bride dream of a perfect wedding where every single thing, right from her dress, her accessories to her makeup is just flawless. However, amongst all other things, your bridal make up is the most important thing as you will be constantly recorded and photographed during your wedding. As a result, it gets essential that you look just flawless with your perfect make up for the big day. Here is a list of few important make up tips that you should closely follow for the perfect bridal look. Best Makeup Artist In Pune
Revive your natural skin
It's very important to understand that make up only helps you highlight your looks better, while your real beauty comes from your naturally beautiful skin and features. Hence, it is extremely important that you start taking good care of your skin much before your wedding day. Good eating habits, drinking water, exercising, etc. all help in giving your skin a special glow from within.
Facials
One particular myth that most women follow is that facials before your wedding day give your skin a radiant look. Well, as per the facts, simply avoid having facials before your marriage day as they pull out the impurities of your skin on the surface which may cause certain blemishes or even break outs. Have a good facial about a week before your wedding day. Best Bridal makeup artist in Mumbai
Makeup for day or night wedding
Don't try and experiment new things on your wedding day. In order to have the perfect look, hire a good reliable professional makeup artist who has previously helped you with your makeup on several occasions. Also, be very specific about your look depending on the time of the wedding. For night weddings, you should prefer a subtle, sophisticated make up while, for a day wedding, you can select a very natural makeup that finely highlights your looks.
Outdoor or indoor wedding
Lighting is another factor on which your make up usually depends. If you have an outdoor wedding with heavy lights, make sure that you make up is soft and natural as compared to an indoor wedding. Makeup Artist In Mumbai
Color of your wedding dress
Another essential factor that you should surely consider while applying your wedding make up is the color contrast of your wedding dress. Your make up should compliment your wedding dress, highlighting its designs and colors. Select foundations, concealers, compact powders, etc. that merges with your skin color and type. However, it is your eyes and lips that will speak up for you on your wedding day, and so give considerable time for the proper make up of your eyes and lips.
So, have a great wedding day and look simply stunning with these simple but important makeup tips.
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ao3bronte · 3 years
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☯🐍LUKADRIEN HEADCANONS🐍☯
It all started when Luka got his first tattoo. Juleka livestreamed it on Instagram and Adrien watched as much as he could of it while in the back of Father’s Mercedes, purposely ignoring Nathalie’s pointed stare. No doubt she would tell Father he was watching videos of his friends “partaking in delinquent behaviour”, but Adrien couldn’t blame her. It was her job, after all.
That aside, Adrien found himself both entranced and horrified as the artist carefully outlined the shape of a serpent in black ink up and down Luka’s right forearm, wiping away the excess ink before starting anew. It must hurt like hell, but Luka talked through it easily, humming a melody he’d been writing with his sister like the needle in his arm was hardly a bother.
Even after he’d been rushed out of the Mercedes and onto the runway, Adrien couldn’t stop thinking about it. How calm and collected Luka had been. How intricate the scales of the onyx snake had been against the paleness of his skin. How the tattoo would look after a few days of healing.
Adrien desperately wanted to find out. And thankfully, a week or so later, he got his chance.
“Dude, you gotta show Adrien. He’s been dying to see it, bro!” Nino calls out from beside him, waving Luka over from where he’d just parked his bike. Marinette had organized a collège graduation picnic and thankfully, the invitation that she’d sent home with Adrien had “mandatory for class attendance” printed on it in big, red letters.
“Yes, please!” Adrien responds, practically skipping in place as Luka saunters over and stretches out his hand. Adrien’s eyes grow wide as he takes in the snake’s coils that twist from his elbow to his wrist. The pattern on the snake’s scales is so familiar that Adrien is sure he’s seen this type of snake before, from the hood of its neck to its elongated fangs.
“Did it hurt?” Alix asks, buzzing with excitement. She’d already proudly announced that she’s booked her first tattoo for her upcoming sixteenth birthday next week.
“A little.” Luka shrugs, smiling downwards as Adrien forgets all of his manners and gently turns Luka’s arm around so he can see the other side. “The elbow was the worst part. Once he got away from the bone, it wasn’t so bad at all.”
“It looks so cool,” Adrien gushes, unable to contain himself. His nose is practically centimetres away from Luka’s skin so as to soak in every little detail. “I wish I could get something like this done.”
Luka continues to indulge him, despite Alix’s teasing glance in their direction. “What’s stopping you?”
Adrien snorts and stares in wonder at the snake’s slitted eyes. “Father. He’d kill me if I ever got a tattoo.”
“I doubt he’d kill his best model,” Luka responds, smiling as Adrien shakes his head and prods the little tongue of the serpent with the tip of his finger.
“Well, maybe not kill me. But he’d lock me away in my room until I was thirty five.”
“Dude, that’s abusive,” Nino says. Beside him, Alix agrees.
“It’s Father’s way of showing me he cares.” Adrien sighs and thanks Luka for letting him see the tattoo. Luka assures him that he can look at it anytime he wants.
And, of course, that’s how the plan begins.
Six months pass and Luka and Adrien are closer than they’ve ever been, thanks in part to Juleka’s burgeoning modelling career. They cross paths frequently, which means he sees Luka almost as much and begins to spend his free time with him whenever he can under the pretense of practicing his angles with Juleka and his piano skills with Luka.
Nathalie has given him exactly four hours of free time at the Couffaine’s on his day off, so long as the Gorilla is present to make sure he doesn’t “partake in any delinquent behaviour”. Adrien is an expert at eluding the massive hulk of a man and within minutes of arriving, Adrien, Luka and Juleka are meeting up with Rose, Nino and Alix for what would be the wildest, best kept secret plan in the world.
Why? Because Adrien was getting a tattoo. A tiny one. Very discreet. But a symbol of defiance and teenage rebellion nonetheless.
The whole ragtag group piles into the same studio that Luka and Alix had gotten their tattoos. White walls reflect the bright pink neon sign that takes up the majority of the side wall, adding an ambiance that simmers with excitement as house music thuds through the speakers. Adrien signs his life away with shaking fingers and gives his friends a thumbs up before sitting down on the leather lounger. Luka follows him into the smaller workspace and distracts Adrien by talking about the merits of the 5/4 time signature as the artist carefully sterilizes his equipment and applies a stencil onto the pale strip of skin just inside the swell of his hip bone. Adrien had picked this part of his body specifically; even in swimming briefs, no one would be able to see it. He would have to be completely bare in order for anyone to accidentally spot the tattoo, which makes it the perfect location for a clandestine symbol of his secret life.
The machine buzzes to life and Adrien prepares himself, gritting his teeth.
“Why did you pick this for your first tattoo?” Luka asks, wincing as Adrien grabs his hand and squeezes the life out of it. Adrien has been tossed around the city like a ragdoll countless times as Chat Noir, but this? This is the worst pain he’s ever experienced by far.
“Ghhh—oh my god.” Adrien heaves and tries to keep still as the artist completes the outline of the circle.
“Just breathe.” Luka begins to massage his arm with his other hand, rubbing smooth circles into Adrien’s tensed muscles. “It’ll be over before you know it.”
Adrien garbles something unintelligible and lets his head fall back against the headrest with a thunk. “How...did...you...?”
“I just did.” Luka shrugs and smiles encouragingly. “You get used to the feeling after a while.”
“I am never getting used to this.” Adrien groans vehemently, pushing the words from his lips in one shaky breath. Luka isn’t wrong though; after a minute or two of trying not to cry like an infant, Adrien’s hip hurts so badly that the pain begins to plateau into a five alarm burning bee sting. “Is it almost over?”
“He’s just finishing the spot,” Luka replies, leaning over to get a better look. Adrien opens his eyes, which is a horrible mistake. Between Luka’s constant presence beside him and his friend’s face mere centimetres from his belly button, Adrien finally thinks of something else that cuts through the haze.
“Y-yeah?” Adrien stammers and hopes Luka thinks it’s still from the pain. In actuality, the last six months of Adrien’s infatuation with Luka’s tattoo and, in turn, Luka himself has all flashed before his eyes in a matter of seconds.
“All finished,” the artist says, taking one last swipe with his towel before putting his tools away. Luka beams and congratulates him on being so brave, but all Adrien can think about is how his friend’s ample praise makes him melt like butter.
“Do you want to see?” Luka takes the mirror and holds it up to the tattoo. Red and raw, the yin and yang symbol shines like a beacon of Adrien’s duality. He’s the hero of destruction to Ladybug’s creation; he’s a flawless model with a secret dark side.
“I love it,” Adrien breathes, the immediate pain already fading. The artist dresses the wound and Adrien listens to the aftercare instructions with half an ear — he’s far too busy committing the experience to memory.
If Luka wants his hand back, he doesn’t ask, even as they exit the room together. Adrien’s too lost in the clouds to even realize, but the rest of his friends aren’t. They’ll tease Luka about it later, but the blue haired boy doesn’t seem to care.
A week later, Adrien proudly shows off his secret tattoo to his secret tattoo posse — he can’t risk anyone else knowing about it in case it gets leaked to the press — and beams when Luka tells him it looks beautiful.
He doesn’t tell Adrien he wasn’t talking about the tattoo.
SEE ALL OF MY LGBTQ+ HEADCANONS HERE!
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pianorexic000 · 3 years
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Sweetspo Saturday
Hi y’all, so today is sweetspo Saturday.......
it speaks for itself. By the way, none of these are mine. I take no credit I have 0 creativity.
I dream of collarbones and thigh gaps, of hips jutting out and ribs just visible, casting shadows on porcelain flesh. I dream of crop tops and denim shorts, of thigh highs and sugar highs. And when I lay in bed at night, counting the calories of the day before my mind can’t help but wander, and I press into my doughy stomach, feel the hips hiding underneath, and remind myself how far I’ve come, and how far I still have to go.
Please listen, I know, I know it’s hard but listen, focus, you, you the most beautiful person on this whole entire planet you are going to make it, I promise you sweetheart, you’re going to make it. Think about it, think about how skinny you’ll be, how happy you will be, how you are going to be able to wear what you want, how you are going to be able to eat what you want and no one is going to make you feel bad for eating, no one. They’re going to be jealous, so fucking jealous, jealous of how you look and how you feel. They’re going to envy you. So stand up, keep your pretty head up and go. Exercise, drink water, eat less, eat healthy, sleep, do yoga, dance around. Get skinny and be finally happy. Please be finally happy.
You’ve been so disappointed in yourself lately. You’ve cursed those girls with a fast metabolism and regretted so much, sweetie. Countless of times you’ve thought, planned and wished to be skinny. I know you want this so badly, honey. But it’s never going to be given to you, sugar. You have to work for it and make yourself proud! ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و
I know you’re very impatient with your weight-loss. You want to lose it NOW and would do anything to wake up tomorrow at you ugw. But that’s never going to happen, doll. It’ll take time, but you will get there, sweetie. You just have to be persistent and never give up. The road is very long, and there will be days where it’ll feel hopeless, angel. But i promise you that those days where you feel incredibly sexy and comfortable in your own skin are just around the corner. You’ll get there baby, but it’ll take time. So don’t beat yourself up.
You’ll look good in everything; you remember that bikini with the cute print? yes, you’ll look beautiful in it. you won’t look like a fat pig.
people will be jealous; they’ll envy you. you’ll become thinner while others are getting fatter.
you’ll be dainty; you’ll be the lightest in the room. everyone will be able to pick you up effortlessly.
others will compliment you; people will look at you and say “wow, have you lost weight?” “you look great!” “i wish i looked like you.”
you won’t be able to keep more than a cup of food down; you’ve trained your body, you and your body both know its limits.
you’ll have power; you can can control how you look, you’ll have control. self control instead of eating everything in sight. you’ll be proud when you refuse a chocolate bar someone is offering.
are you going to keep saying “i’ll do it tomorrow”
or are you going to start today?
you’ll get there sweetie, make them regret the day they dare call you fat; they’ll start talking GOOD behind your back; “she is losing so much weight omg” “ i wanna look like her.” “im so jealous of her tiny waist.”
make it happen, you cause the gain of weight
and the loss of weight.
It's Okay!
You were really bad this weekend weren’t you? You ate fatty food and cheated on your diet? I know you bash yourself for pushing yourself further from your goal, but it was just Easter and you were enjoying spending time with your family. Unfortunately that included eating. Thin is all you think about cutie, why would you stuff your face uncontrollably like that, sugar? You can’t stop now, i know it’s hard but it’ll be worth it in the end.
Meanspo
Dear You,
You’ve grown up being the “big” girl. You’ve grown up being the “I want seconds” girl. You entered college being the “let’s eat out because it’s easier” girl.
When will you be the “I eat healthy” girl? The “people can pick me up” girl? The “I love my body” girl?
Today? Oh, right, you say tomorrow. Funny, that’s what you said yesterday.
It’s YOUR fault you’re fat. You don’t control your fatty urges to binge and stuff your face. One day, you’ll regret that. And that day is TODAY. If you regret it, then make a change. Skip that meal. Eat less calories. Exercise and burn what you have consumed and stored from your past pathetic eating habits. Get rid of your fatty urges. BECOME SKINNY…Become beautiful. Because if you don’t start today, you’ll only hate yourself tomorrow… again.
Do it. Do it so you can wear cute short shorts without everyone looking at your thighs and being disgusted.
Do it for that bitch who always called you fat at middle school.
Do it for that fuckboy who never looked at you as girlfriend potencial.
Do it so you can be confident.No seriously you’ll never be confident with that big tummy dude.
Do it so you don't ALMOST DIE in fitting rooms.
Do it for the cute clothes.
Do it for the summer.
Do it for the pool parties and how all of your friends will be SHOOK at your perfect body.
Do it for that life little baby. You deserve it. You deserve so much happiness.
Imagine you’re sitting at your desk in your perfectly decorated bedroom. You’re doing school work (all A’s of course), and since the lighting is good, you stop studying for a second and take a selfie.
You notice your collarbones are perfectly peaking out, and your chest bones are slightly visible. You have no makeup on but you still look absolutely gorgeous. Your flawless skin (that you got from not eating junk food all the time) looks great on your camera. Your thin arms look especially toned in this picture, and your smile is unforgettable.
You decide to post it to Instagram, and it instantly gets likes and comments saying how gorgeous you look. You want to keep studying…but the amount of likes and attention is distracting!
You think to yourself “Amazing how my life has changed. 30lbs ago I barely got 30 likes. My grades were bad and I had horrible acne…it’s so great what being thin can do to a person”
One day I won’t have to suck in
One day I’ll sit down and not have belly rolls
One day my thighs won’t touch
One day I’ll be able to see my ribs
One day I’ll step on the scale and smile
One day I’ll be able to smile at my protruding collar bones
One day I’ll wear the clothes I want
One day I’ll be confident
One day I’ll be skinny
do it for the boy who leaves your snapchats at read. imagine how quickly he’ll reply when he sees how good you look in your new body. do it for the girls you envy, the girls who show up in crop tops and short shorts whilst you hide behind a baggy sweater. imagine how proud you’ll feel when you can finally wear what you want and look just as good, if not better than them. do it for the people who bullied you about your weight and the boys who turned you down because of it. watch them gawk and whisper among themselves at how much weight you’ve lost. do it for the mean girls, the ones that walk around school like they own the place, the ones who’s parties you never get invited to, the ones that all the boys want. prove yourself to them. soon they’ll notice you and you’ll be too proud to care. own your new found confidence, throw your own parties, feel wanted. do it for the boy you’ve been crushing on since the first time you met. make him want you just as you wanted him. laugh at yourself as he chases after you. watch him suffer just as you did. do it for the bikini you’ve never had the body to wear. make your old self proud. wear that bikini. finally feel good in it. go to the beach and the pool and show it off. it belongs on you. do it for yourself. do it for your own happiness and do it right now. you deserve this. it might take some time and maybe you’re growing impatient. but it’s okay, everything good takes time. so be safe, stay strong, and don’t give up. this will be worth the wait. trust me.
I literally cannot fucking wait until I’m thin. I can’t wait to not feel like the outsider in my friend group. I can’t wait to not feel like the ugly friend. I can’t wait to be as thin as my best friend and for people to not see me as a charity case. I can’t wait to be able to go shopping and not worry about what will hide my fat. I can’t wait to see my collarbones and feel great in shorts. I can’t wait to be able to post selfies confidently from any angle and get as many likes as all the thin girls from school. I can’t wait to be someone else’s thinspo. I can’t wait to be happy with myself. I can’t wait to be thin.
Okie lovey, I know you might have had a rough couple of days or maybe you’ve been doing everything right and you just need a little pick me up. That’s okay too. I’m here for you, maybe not there physically but I’m still here. Make some tea, and take a bath; while you’re in there light a few candles and take time for yourself. Paint your nails read a book or simply think about bettering yourself. You’re almost there, I’m so excited for you! I’m going to be there when you cross that finish line (UGW). Finished with tea? Are you hungry? No. Exactly, chin up sweetheart, you got this. I love you
10 Reasons I want to be Thin
1. A flat stomach looks so good in anything. 2. No more armpit fat. 3. Finally have a thigh gap (again). 4. Feel beautiful and in control 5. people you already know will ask you how you did it, new people you meet will fall in love with you. 6. Go on adventures and have fun without worrying about your fat jiggling around. 7. Tan outside or at the lake without wanting to die because you’re too fat for a bikini. 8. Going out to parties and making friends because you’re confident and beautiful. 9. Not wanting to cry every time you see your full body in a mirror/ reflection. 10. Not crying in general anymore. Finally being happy.
11 Reasons Why I'm Doing This
1. To be the skinny friend
2. So I can be lifted up and be called light
3. To wear anything and still look cute
4. To have pretty bones to show off
5. To hear those words; ‘Have you lost weight?’
6. To not feel guilty when having a sweet treat (occasionally!)
7. To wear tight jeans and not have a muffin top
8. To not want to cry every time I look in the mirror
9. To not feel embarrassed in a bikini or swimsuit
10. To sit on someone’s lap without fear of crushing them
11. To finally feel happy with myself
They are in the kitchen making dinner. It smells so good, and all you want to do is have some. But would that make you happy? Would that food actually do anything for you? Sure, it would taste good. But as soon as you swallow, it would be gone. You’d take a drink of water, and the taste would wash away. Five minutes of fun, and then you’d be full. Full of food, regret, hate, shame, and disgust. Today would be yet another day wasted. So go ahead, eat the food. Be the fat tub of lard you always have been. Or don’t. Don’t eat the food. Be a day closer to your goal.
The choice is yours.
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fukurodianthus · 4 years
Text
Its just skin
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Synopsis: Self-love is not something that comes to you naturally. Years of self-depreciation makes it difficult to grow into the habit of loving yourself despite of the scars peppered across your skin.
But with your fiancé, Tooru Oikawa, you find yourself stealing glances into mirrors quite often. It catches you by surprise when you find yourself...beautiful?
Pairing: Tooru Oikawa X fem!reader
Genres: tooth-rotting fluff , a lil bit of angst thrown in
Word count: 2.2k
Warnings: The reader suffers from body positivity issues and insecurities regarding her appearance.
Author’s note at the end!
(p.s. didnt proof read because im ✨lazy✨ might do it later when im feeling cute idk)
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“Y/N-chan, can we leave already? We’re getting late for the party” Oikawa whined, tugging the sleeve of your shirt lightly.
“Tooru, stop being so impatient!” You pushed your whiny fiancé away and concentrated on covering up the acne scars and freckles peppered across your face with layers of concealer. No matter how much you tried, you could never make your skin look half as perfect as that of the girls who dominated your Instagram and YouTube feed. Every time you looked in the mirror, the taunting voices of your family members and friends would creep into your mind.
Oh my god! Whats wrong with your face?
Don’t you wash your face properly?
You’re never going to get married if you look like that Y/N! Do something about that face of yours!
Do you want me to recommend a good dermatologist to you?
No matter what the topic of the conversation was, people always found a way to bring up the topic of your skin condition in it. You could be talking about quantum physics for all they cared, they would somehow find a way to bring up the topic of your skin.
But they didn’t know all those sleepless nights you had spent on the internet looking for remedies, they didn’t know how you cried yourself to sleep every night, praying that you’ll somehow find that your skin had magically healed up when you woke up. But miracles didn’t happen in this world. At least for you, they didn’t.
You spent a humongous chunk of your salary buying medicines, serums, anything skincare specialists would recommend to you. But none of it could you fix you. Ultimately it all ended up in the trash and you ended up on the bathroom floor, sobbing as you looked into the mirror, face contorted with disgust and self-loathing.
But then, Oikawa Tooru stepped into your life. The first person who didn’t grimace as he looked at your face. He looked at it with childish wonder in his eyes, as if he was looking at something…beautiful?  Every night, when you fell asleep in his arms, his fingers softly grazing your cheeks, you felt an unfamiliar warmth blossom inside your heart. If he could love you despite your flaws, what was stopping you from doing it?
But years of self-depreciation made it difficult to develop the habit of loving yourself. There are still moments when you found you yourself drowning in self-hatred.
Take the present moment, for instance.
No matter how much concealer you caked on your face, it didn’t look half as good as you wanted it to. You let out a frustrated groan as you plopped down on the bed. How could you go to the party looking like this, especially when Oikawa would be by your side? Everyone’s appearance paled in comparison to his flawless beauty. Then how could you, of all people, ever stand beside him as an equal? You knew everyone would be comparing you with him behind your back, their jealousy-tinged voices emphasizing on how someone like you didn’t deserve to be with him. You’d always be an undeserving lover for him in their eyes.
“What’s wrong, Y/N?” Oikawa’s voice was laced with heavy concern. “Do you feel sick? I told you to not eat that expired candy bar last night, but you didn’t listen-”
“Tooru, its not that. I think I look very fucking ugly right now and I can’t bear to look at myself in the mirror. I can’t go to the party right now, not when I’m feeling like this.” You buried your face in a soft cushion and let out a frustrated groan as you turned over on the bed.
“Y/N, did you start putting yourself down again?” You felt him plopping down beside you on the bed, wrapping his arms around your waist.
“Tooru, don’t lie to me, my skin still looks just as bad as ever.”
“You know, sometimes I wonder if astral projections are real.”
“What? Have you finally lost it?” Your widened eyes searched his face, trying to make sense of his words.
“If it was real, then I’d pull your soul out of your body make you look at your face through my eyes. Because there’s clearly something very fucking wrong with your eyes if you cannot see how damn pretty you are.” Tooru huffed, looking at you nonchalantly as if he was stating the obvious.
“Tooru-” you whimpered, turning on your side to face him.
Tooru and his horrible pickup lines.
Gosh, how can I not love him?
His chocolate-brown eyes softened as he pulled you into his chest. The sound of his heartbeat drowned all the cacophony of all the negative thoughts cluttering your mind.
“Y/N, I thought love at first sight was way too cheesy and corny to be real. But then, one day, back in high school, I saw Iwa-chan talking to you. You looked so fucking pretty, you know? The way you’d bite your lips when you were confused, the way you’d look down and let your hair cover your face whenever you were flustered, it was so damn adorable. I might have gone down on my knees right then, if Iwa-chan hadn’t been there. He’d beat the living crap out of me for playing my ‘disgusting tricks’ on his friend.” Oikawa took your hands in his and slowly drew circles on your palm with his thumb.
“Iwa wouldn’t have to beat you up, I’d do it without a second thought if you pulled any of that shit on me. I always found you very bratty, clinging to Iwa with that radioactive sweet smile of yours.”
“Wow, I was head over heels in love with you on first sight, while your first impression of me was that I’m a brat? No wonder you were Iwa-chan’s friend, you both are so mean.” He pouted, looking at you with playful annoyance.
“That was before I got to know you. Your brattiness started growing on me, gradually. Now I’m so used to it, I think I’d forget how to breathe if I didn’t hear your annoying voice every morning.” You chuckled at how his face kept getting redder with every insult that you threw at him.
“You’re used to my brattiness? Are you implying I’m still a brat?”
“Exactly. Looks like you do have a brain.”
“The most amazing setter on this planet doesn’t have a brain, is that what you’re trying to say?”
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but instead of asking me out on a date directly, you bugged Iwa to set us up on a date until he finally shouted at you in the middle of an English class, saying ‘Alright, Shittykawa, I’ll set you up on a date with Y/N, now stop running that fucking stupid mouth of yours.’ " You stole a glance at his face, savoring his flustered expression. "I’m right, am I not?”
Oikawa’s face reddened to the extent where it seemed that he would spontaneously combust at any moment.
"Tooru, c'mon, we both were emotionally constipated fools who could never ask each other out if Iwa hadn't stepped in." You softly ran your hands over his chest, savoring the warmth radiating from him. "Now stop pouting Brattykawa."
"You and Iwa-cha, both of you can never appreciate me before backtracking, huh?" He ran his fingers through your tangled hair, slowly massaging your scalp.
He knew it always calmed you down.
"Hey, did you really find me pretty that day?" You mind went back to how you looked the day when Oikawa first saw you. Greasy hair stuck to your face, cavernous dark circles covering your under eyes, face swollen as a result of pulling all nighters for a whole week. How could anyone, let alone Oikawa find you pretty when you looked like that?
"Can you not hold a conversation for 5 seconds without putting yourself down, huh?"
" I dont think I can Tooru. It still weirds me out that you, of all people found me beautiful when I looked like such a mess."
"Y/N I think we really need to try astral projections now-"
"Tooru, I'm serious-" You whined.
He chuckled, twilring your hair in his fingertips. "Y/N, after being with you for so long, I've realized something. You look for validation in the eyes of people who couldn’t care less about you. But when finally, someone who really cares for you and sees you as who you are tells you that they are truly beautiful, you brush it off. Why do you pretend that our compliments aren't heartfelt? Why are you so scared of being appreciated?"
Every day, when he saw you stealing glances into the mirror, he noticed how disappointment flashed across your face. He knew how you beat yourself up for not being pretty enough. You were never enough for yourself.
If your mind was a place, he’d waltz into it, shredding the self-destructive thoughts gnawing at you sanity into pieces. He’d untangle the mess inside your head, shattering the walls that bars genuine compliments reach your heart.
Oikawa wasn’t the best with words, not at times like this. But he’d give it his best.
He could feel the wet spots blossoming on his shirt, as you buried your face deeper into his chest.
"Oi!  You dummy! Are you crying?"
"To-Tooru I just think th-that I d-don’t deserve your love because I'm not as good looking as-" You choked out in between an onslaught of sobs.
“Hey. Hey, look at me.” He cupped your flushed cheeks and lifted your chin up, his eyes scanning your face in concern.
“Those fucking stupid scars on your face don’t define who you are, okay? Its just skin, Y/N, you are so much more than just…a piece of skin, you know? Honestly, we’re all just bags of flesh and bones if you look at it that way. Do you think I loved you because you were a particularly pretty bag of flesh and bones?” Even though you found his analogy slightly funny, you noticed how his face lit up with passion so you refrained from making any sarcastic comments. He was trying his best.
“Continue, Tooru. I’m listening.”
“I love you because of who you are. I love the way your lashes flutter when we stargaze on the roof every night, I love you how your hair is a tangled mess when you wake up, I love how your puff your cheeks in annoyance when I stop you from over-drinking coffee every night, I love how you whine when you spend hours trying to get your eyeliner right, only to end up smudging it when you rub your eyes absent-mindedly, I love how your eyes light up when I put an extra spoonful of Nutella in your sandwich…gosh, I’m rambling, aren’t I?”
Your grip on his hoodie tightened. He looked at you, breathlessly, scanning your face for a reaction.
Your stared at your reflection in his chocolate-brown eyes, struggling to find the right phrases to express the way his words made you feel. You felt your heart race as if it was beating in pace with a rhythm set in by a drug-induced ecstasy.
What would you call this feeling of warmth that washed over you with every syllable he uttered?
“Thank you.” You wondered if you could’ve said anything better to express how much his words meant to you. God, where were a the fancy words you had learnt from corny YA romance books when you needed them?
But he didn’t need to hear your words to know that you’d been moved by his words. Fancy phrases could never tell him what the faint rosy glow of your cheeks could.
“Stop thanking me for stuff like this. It’s my duty, Y/N. I’m your fiancé for fuck’s sake.”
“You’re such a sap Tooru.” You giggled, squishing his cheeks softly.
“Yeah but you’re hopelessly in love with this sap, so deal with it.” His grip around your waist tightened as he nuzzled his face on your neck, his hot breath fanning across your collarbones.
“Now let me go Shittykawa, we have a party to attend.” You pried his arms off your waist and sat up.
“Babe, we’re about to get married in a few months, you really need to drop that stupid nickname.”
“Hmm, let me think.” Cocking your head to your side, you pretended to be immersed in deep thought. “Nope, not happening.”
“Don’t blame me for what happens next.” Oikawa sat up and tackled you to the bed, pinning your wrists by your side.
“Ooh, now that’s hot, Tooru”
“You know whats hotter Y/N?”
“What?”
“This.” He didn’t give you a chance to respond as his hands slid down to your waist. Your breath hitched in anticipation.
And then he started tickling you.
You broke out in an uncontrollable fit of laughter, kicking him, trying to get him to stop.
Two minutes later, you both lay side by side, panting, faces flushed with breathless fits of laughter.
You caught a glance of your face in the bedside mirror.
Even with your reddened face, tangled hair and smudged mascara, you looked…beautiful.
You felt beautiful.
As you nuzzled your face on his chest, the sound of his heartbeat rumbling in your ears, his words kept replaying in your mind.
“Its just skin, Y/N.”
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Author’s note: ahhhhh I kinda wrote this in a flow?? Its a comfort fic/drabble???Idk what this is tbh. This is very self indulgent because I’ve suffered from skin problems(cystic acne ugh🤢) all my life, so I decided to comfort myself through this fic 🥺👉👈 . If only I had an Oikawa in my life 😩✋
N E ways, drink water, get enough sleep(lmao the irony that I’m saying this-) and remember to love yourself because you are beautiful!😤❤️I’ll come for your kneecaps if you put yourself down🤩🔪.
Reblogs would be highly appreciated!
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TWDG: The Final Season | Character Discussion | 1/2
Part 1 | Part 2
“Everyone’s counting on me to step up. Be the leader they need me to be... I really want to be that for them.”  
So.... let’s talk about Marlon. 
I mean, let’s really talk about him. Ever since I started this blog, some common questions I get revolve around Marlon- “How do you feel about Marlon?” “Do you think he deserved a redemption arc?” “Why do you think he was sent to Ericson?” “In your opinion, is Marlon a bad person?” and many others. 
Some ask with expectations that I’ll express a distaste or hatred for him, while others ask with a more sympathetic approach. If you know me, if you’ve been here for a while, then you know that I do indeed like Marlon as a character, and today I want to talk about him from my perspective while playing this game. 
And with that comes a seemingly unnecessary disclaimer, but one I feel I need to add in order to make it abundantly clear: I will be discussing MY thoughts, experiences, and feelings about Marlon within TFS and give my take on his character. Because we’re not the same person, you may have a different opinion or perspective on his character, you may disagree with something I say, and that’s perfectly okay. You’re entitled to your opinion as I am mine, and I do encourage you to join in on the discussion and express your thoughts about Marlon, but I also want to let you know that you can do that without attacking me or anyone else. 
Really, this is pretty much me looking at Marlon’s role and arc within TFS, discussing points of his character that I find interesting, exploring the why’s and how’s of his actions, maybe coming up with a couple theories as to why he was sent to Ericson, and basically giving a lot of personal opinions of him. It’s a discussion meant in good fun, that’s all I’m saying. 
Before we dive right in, I do want to thank @pi-creates​ for providing me with most of the screenshots used in this. I appreciate the help! If you haven’t already, go check out Pi’s blog for some of the best screenshots and model swaps in the TWDG community! Thank you, thank you!
[First and foremost, y’all are sleeping on Ray Chase’s performance as Marlon and it really shows]
“Looks like I was announced as Marlon, the central focus in this first episode of The Walking Dead Season 4 coming in a few weeks. I've been playing this series since the beginning, and it was a real honor to be a part of the canon. I hope you enjoy!“ - Ray Chase’s Twitter account | July 26, 2018
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I want to start this off with praising Marlon’s voice actor, Ray Chase, for doing such a perfect job of bringing Marlon’s character to life. Every emotion and infliction feels genuine, and there’s isn’t a single moment where I don’t “see” Marlon, y’know? I mean that in the sense that every line delivered is believable and doesn’t break my immersion with, “Oof, they really used that take?” 
I know we throw praise upon Melissa, Tayla, Sterling, and Gideon [and for good reason, they’re all fantastic, too!] but even with them there are a couple of lines that I notice have a lack of flow or sound just a bit off. I’ve played TFS how many times? And not once have I had that issue with Ray Chase as Marlon, so bravo to this man. Credit where credit is due, his performance is damn near flawless.
Especially in the confrontation scene at the end of Done Running. I’ll get into that scene as a whole later, but just looking at the performance and the intense, impactful emotion brought to that scene, just..... *chef kiss*
Thank you, Ray Chase. 
[What’s up with your haircut, Marlon?]
“Uh, I look cool... I say, I look cool.”
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Lemme talk a little bit about Marlon’s design- I think he looks great. 
I love the little details in the Ericson varsity jacket he wears... including the fact that it looks just a tad bit too snug on him. Like, either the boy doesn’t have another jacket or he’s grown so attached to this one that he’s not willing to admit that he’s outgrown it a bit. 
I’ve had a lot of people point out that it’s nice to see a teenage character in these games with actual acne since most media pretends that acne just doesn’t exist, and I agree. We all know that if this were more realistic, then everyone would have terrible, greasy, dirty skin but... y’know. 
And y’know what? I like the mullet! It’s unique! And I choose to believe it’s a representation of Marlon’s past with bad decisions he’s too stubborn to admit were bad decisions... I mean, he’s had it since he was a kid and hadn’t grown it out or cut it off [to our knowledge, I suppose] sooo... there’s that. 
Or maybe he does actually think it looks badass. Either way. 
Hell, my biggest complaint about Marlon’s design is that I wish they kept more to this concept art attire:
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Because Marlon looks super good in this concept art. I love the headband with the mullet and his clothes actually look more comfortable... but like, it’s fine. He still looks great in the game, his little jacket’s cool, bringing back the mullet...its fine. I’m just sayin’. He looks great. 
[Marlon’s introduction in TFS]
“It's our little kingdom. I just do what I can to keep the peace. Wasn't always like this, though. There used to be a lot of us, but...you know how it goes.”
Let’s talk about how Marlon’s introduced. 
We get our first look at him after Clementine and AJ crash their car during the walker attack. A bunch of arrows come flying, hitting walkers attempting to get ahold of them, and as Clementine glances over she sees a figure pulling AJ out of the car. And even though you can tell it’s Marlon, this closer shot from Pi-
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-100% confirms that it’s him. Not that you had any doubt, but still.
What’s interesting, though, is that while snooping around for some insight about Marlon from the writers/devs, wandering around reddit, replaying the game myself, and even glancing over the all-knowing wiki that’s never wrong ever, it seems agreed upon that Marlon wasn’t alone, despite no one else being specifically mentioned to have helped Clementine and AJ. 
Which makes sense that that’d be the case, but I did come across a handful of people who are pretty adamant that he was alone, which is an interesting take, though I disagree.
I’m pretty sure most people do, too. I mean, Marlon says, “It's good we found you when we did. It wasn't easy getting you two out of that wreck, and walkers were on the way.” So I don’t even think that was the writers’ intention of it being solely Marlon who saved them.
What’s funny is I came across a post Instagram [I know, the most legitimate source for info and thoughtful opinions] that was surprisingly trying to redeem/defend Marlon rather than chastise him by claiming he’s a hero who saved Clementine and AJ by himself. 
The thing is, they’re both unconscious after the wreck, so unless Marlon has super-human speed to grab AJ, zip around the car to grab Clementine, and then uses super-human strength to carry both of them AND their belongings all while killing any threatening walkers coming after them with his bow... I’m gonna have to press [X] Doubt. 
Besides, I like the idea of it being vague. I like to think that was the intention. “Who was Marlon with? A hunting party! You fill in the blanks!” That sort of deal.
With everything that we know about Marlon and the safe-zone, it does lead to questions about why he and whoever felt they had to go outside it to see what was happening. Marlon points out in his conversation with Clementine that they “had to work fast. I don't know what would've happened if we hadn't seen the smoke...” And later Violet mentions an explosion, so I think it’s safe to say that they heard the explosion and followed the smoke to the location. 
If you don’t know about the raiders and the twins [like it’s your first time playing] then you probably assume that Marlon and his group were being kind in rescuing them, which I don’t doubt but it does make you wonder about things from Marlon’s perspective, y’know?
This is one of those “shhh, don’t think, just go with it” moments. If I had to give a reason, I’d say that the group he was with didn’t think twice about checking it out and even if Marlon did protest, he didn’t have much choice but to follow. Then, seeing that it’s Clementine and AJ, I believe he genuinely wanted to save them. 
“All alone with the kid? Not a pleasant thought. I've seen some rough scenes. But that one would've been up there.”
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We get our second and more official introduction to Marlon after Clementine escapes her dorm and confronts Tenn... and it’s pretty fucking good. I mean, everything from him being hidden in the shadows with his bow drawn, to the clear concern yet sternness in his voice as he assures Clementine they’re not going to hurt her and to put the knife down, to his sympathetic apology for scaring her is just an A+. 
One thing this season does exceptionally well is introducing its characters. Marlon has such a confident yet chill way about him when you first meet that it’s actually disheartening to think that in two hours he’s gonna be pulling a gun and MURDER....
Sigh. 
Let’s not jump that far ahead yet. I’m not ready. 
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What I find appealing about this next part is Clementine’s reaction to seeing the inside of Ericson for the first time and how taken aback she seems by it. I also love how easy and comfortable it is to talk with Marlon as they’re walking through the yard even though we just met him. 
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I enjoy that you can tell he’s trying to get a better idea of who she is without pressuring or overwhelming her and doing his best not to offend. And even when Clementine questions if he doesn’t think she can handle herself, he’s decent about apologizing and explaining that’s not what he meant. But he’s also not afraid to be upfront about AJ’s behavior since they brought him here, either.
He does come off as annoyed when talking about AJ being a handful. We don’t know how long Clementine’s been passed out or how long they had to deal with AJ after he woke up, so who knows how much of a little terror AJ was before they either dumped him with Louis or Louis decided to take him to the music room to chill... where he then bit Ruby. 
Anyway, the first impression I got of Marlon is that he’s genuinely friendly, trying to help Clementine and AJ even if AJ’s been a nuisance, and he’s confident in the system he has in place for them. He is rather forward and proud about being the school’s leader when first telling Clementine. 
Having played through the whole season several times and knowing how Done Running ends, it’s interesting to look at Clementine’s first conversation with Marlon with that all knowing perspective- knowing what he did to the twins, knowing that Brody’s involved and that Marlon’s going to eventually kill her, going to try and frame Clementine for the murder, knowing that he was planning on giving Clementine and AJ away...
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I can definitely look at this conversation with a more skeptical lens and say he’s more so trying to sell the idea that he has everything under control in this kingdom for kids and he’s a proper leader with a system in place despite being so young with no adults around. But hey, that’s the natural progression- Ericson is a perfectly chill safe haven and the Ericson crew get along swell... except no, the cracks slowly begin to surface as the episode goes on until all hell breaks loose with Marlon at the center. 
[Rosie is best girl]
“You said dogs brought back bad memories. I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were so scared of them. But I swear, Rosie's not as frightening as she seems...See? She's harmless. She just needs to get to know you, is all. Here. I'll show you. Do you trust me? “
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I’ll be completely honest- the thing that initially sold me on trusting Marlon the first time I ever played this episode was his relationship with Rosie. 
If you know me, then you know that I love dogs. I have a pup named Piglet that I adore, I’ve grown up with dogs my whole life, and I have a huge appreciation and soft spot for animals.  I’m one of those people that can’t stand others who are mean or cruel to harmless animals. It’s different if you’re hunting for food or if an animal attacks you and you’re defending yourself... but I’ve known people who have gone out of their way to hurt animals. I’m out in a country area with a lot of dangerous roads for wandering animals, and the amount of people I’ve driven with who’ll swerve to hit a squirrel, a cat, a dog because they enjoy it is too many. After those incidents, I cut those people out of my life.  If you don’t have that love and appreciation in your heart, then I want nothing to do with you. 
So when I saw that Rosie, while the school’s dog, is more portrayed to be Marlon’s dog above everyone else, I remember thinking to myself, “Okay, I trust him. He clearly loves this dog, wouldn’t mistreat her, and that’s a step in the right direction.”  
While I wasn’t skeptical of him and his intentions before, it really was that natural relationship he held with Rosie that kind of sealed the deal for me- “I like Marlon! He’s probably going to die because he’s the leader and they never last but when it does happen, I’m gonna be super upset about it.” 
And well, to be fair... I was super upset when he died, just more so than I originally planned because there was also that element of betrayal mixed into the pain, y’know? 
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Speaking of trust and Rosie- My second favorite Marlon scene is the office scene. But let’s talk about the Rosie bit specifically. After Tenn leaves and Rosie comes in, she scares Clementine and brings back those traumatic memories of when Sam attacked her. 
Marlon comes in and cools the situation, and I love the way he talks to Clementine in this moment. 
I love that he doesn’t immediately turn to Clementine like, “What’d you do?” but recognizes that she’s afraid of Rosie due to her previous experience, one that he remembers her mentioning. He also knows how well trained Rosie is to recognize scents and people, which explains why she’s behaving that way- she doesn’t know Clementine. 
I feel like I’m using this word a lot, but Marlon’s approach to helping Clementine with her fear of dogs feels so genuine. He holds his hand out and waits for her to accept, and if she does, he walks Clementine through what to do, beginning Clementine’s bond with Rosie. 
“Get down on her level. Let her get your scent. It's okay. She's not gonna hurt you.”
It’s incredibly sweet and humanizing to see Marlon like this. 
The best part about this scene, though, is that you can reject Marlon’s offer and he won’t be upset. 
“No problem. I'm not gonna pressure you.”
And he doesn’t. He doesn’t get annoyed, he doesn’t press, no questions asked, and he doesn’t say anything to make Clementine feel bad for her decision. He respects that she isn’t ready to get close with Rosie.
The reason I love this is because how many times have we made decisions in this game, big and small, and had the other characters get annoyed or try to guilt us? “Oh, you don’t want to bond with the dog? Rosie’s the best, everyone loves dogs! What’s wrong with you?” None of that here. That’s something I appreciate about Marlon in this moment. 
It shows that when he wants to, he can listen and understand those around him... something he clearly struggles with when it comes to certain members of Ericson.
I’ll swing back around and talk about that entire scene in a bit, but one last thing about Rosie... can I just say how heart breaking it is to hear her whine at Marlon’s funeral? Solidifying that she was definitely Marlon’s dog more than anyone else’s? And the way Rosie lays on his grave several times in episode 2? 
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Oof. 
[Ericson’s perception of Marlon prior to the final confrontation and after]
“...when the world went to shit, he bailed. All the other adults did. Left us behind to fend for ourselves...  Now it's just us kids left.”
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I want to touch on how the Ericson crew seem to view Marlon as a leader before and after the final confrontation.
When looking at and discussing a character, it’s important to not just focus solely on them. You can gather a lot about a character based on how others respond and perceive them.
Not everyone expresses something towards Marlon within Done Running. Y’know, like Omar or Ruby, for example. Though we do get a bit more from them after Marlon’s death, their perception of him is different now that they’ve learned what he’s done and witnessed his murder.
So we don’t know how Ruby, Omar, Willy or Mitch viewed his leadership prior to those events, y’know? It’s safe to assume that they’re fine following him as a leader since they’re background characters at this point and make no objections to his leadership at any time before the confrontation. But, after learning the truth, they turned against him. 
Then things get complicated when Marlon’s murder traumatizes them. 
What a mess.
But for this section, there are two characters I want to get into specifics about. They’re worth talking about because they further Marlon’s character, but they’re not the most important, y’know? Characters like Louis, Tenn, and Brody will get their own sections. 
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The one I find most interesting among side characters is Aasim. Right off the bat, you get a feel for what his relationship is like with Marlon:
Marlon: “How'd it go out there?”
Aasim: “How do you think it went?”
Brody: “Be nice, Aasim.”
Aasim: “The safe zone's nearly dry. I could barely find enough for tonight. We're gonna have to scout out further if we want food for the winter.”
Marlon: “We'll talk about it later.”
Aasim: “Bullshit, we should talk about this right now-”
Marlon: “I said later, damn it!”
So... they’re not exactly besties. The game makes a clear point that Aasim is more vocal in his disagreements and concerns towards Marlon than the others. They even reiterate it when you talk with him later:
“He keeps pulling back the safe zone. We have fewer and fewer places to hunt. Which means we're gonna have fewer and fewer things to eat.”
No one else opposes Marlon like he does, not counting Brody in the basement since that’s a whole other thing and Brody will get an entire segment to herself later.
It’s pretty clear that this isn’t the first time they’ve had this conversation, but because Marlon’s in a place of power, Aasim doesn’t have much choice but to go along with it. Because no one else is speaking up, he doesn’t have anyone to back him up, and you can tell he goes with it reluctantly. He also voices annoyances when it comes to how Marlon treats Louis if you go hunting.
Knowing this, you can infer that Marlon doesn’t want to hear what Aasim has to say, and he doesn’t appreciate someone questioning his leadership. When Aasim steps in Marlon’s path and says, “Bullshit, we should talk about this right now-” what does Marlon do?
He shoves his shoulder into Aasim’s as he pushes past, and in a louder, commanding tone, replies, “I said later, damn it!” which leads to Aasim glaring after him... but he doesn’t pursue. Marlon has a hard time with someone like Aasim and his response is to shut him down rather than stop, listen to his concerns, and address them.
That’s something Marlon struggles with as a leader- control and listening. Control over his temper and anger, listening and addressing the concerns of the people he swears to protect.
The reason I bring this up is because Aasim is our first indication that the image Marlon was giving off previously isn’t as spotless as he wants us to believe. Aasim plants a seed of doubt, y’know? He gives an argument that the player can get behind.
“Yeah, why not extend the safe zone? If food is really as bad as you say it is, then what other choice is there? Just be extra cautious so no one gets hurt,” which can then lead to thinking, “Why is Marlon so insistent about the safe zone? Is he hiding something?”
Once that seed is there, it grows.
Now as for how Aasim’s view of Marlon changes during and after the confrontation, you can see that he’s one of the few that wants to hear Clementine’s side to things, and he steps forward after Louis/Violet intervenes.
Then after Marlon dies, Aasim is... well, he’s rather neutral? And I say that meaning he’s more in a middle ground between Louis and Violet, who are on extreme opposite ends. Aasim isn’t okay with Marlon’s death, nor is he okay with AJ killing him, but he can see that kicking Clementine and AJ out isn’t the best solution. Hence why he voted for them to stay.
You can see he’s still angry at Marlon for what he did during the funeral scene, but the game doesn’t care to show more beyond that. Which, in my opinion, was a missed opportunity on their part.  
And because I’m me, I also want to add that this perfectly sets up the idea of Aasim taking over once Marlon died and the writers shot themselves in the foot for wasting him like that. Good job.
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Now let’s talk about Violet. People love when I do that.
Marlon and Violet don’t interact too much prior to the confrontation. The most we see them together is during the card game, and they’re chill. Violet makes fun of his hair, he says he looks cool, they’re decent to each other, it’s all good. They’re on friendly terms. 
Which I do find it interesting that she seems like she’s chill with Marlon, but she has such a hard time with Brody. Granted, that’s because she was supposed to go with them but asked Brody to cover her, and then when the twins died, she felt guilty. But you’d think that she’d also have some issues with Marlon, given that he was also there and, like Brody, unable to save them.
You could argue that because Violet and Brody were friends before it had a stronger effect, whereas she and Marlon weren’t ever that close, so it didn’t strike as bad, y’know? 
Though this does kind of get explained later if you choose to stick with Violet through ep4. Well, sort of? A little? She tells you:
Violet: “...I remember how Marlon described it, what we were gonna turn Ericson into. It's not the way any of us pictured it.”
Clementine: “How did you picture it?”
Violet: “I guess I couldn't. I just listened to what Marlon said. How it would be a home, a real one. But I couldn't really wrap my head around it.”
And when she talks about people who cared about her that she pushed away, she does list Marlon as one of those people, which is super interesting given all the loathing she’s done towards him after the truth came out.
It could be that in the past, she saw Marlon as the leader and why would he lie? He’s the one who stepped up, promised that they’d made Ericson into something special, into a brand new home... what reason does she have to distrust him?
So when she finds out the truth... well, that betrayal completely shatters everything she has for Marlon, going as far as for her to believe that AJ was justified in what he did and shit talking Marlon in front of his mourning best friend. 
So her reaction to Marlon after this makes sense, but what does this tell us about Marlon himself?
Again, depending on how you view him, you can look at this idea of Marlon being kind to Violet and them being on friendly terms after what happened to the twins a few different ways- Marlon was manipulating Violet solely for his sake, or Marlon felt guilty that something he did hurt her this bad and tried to make Violet feel better, or both.
I think it was both. After the twins died, we all know the amount of guilt Marlon carried with him, so having to be confronted with the fallout of that in the form of someone like Violet... he had to be careful. I don’t doubt that he cared about Violet or that he tried to reach out to her, but he also had to protect himself for the sake of maintaining his leadership and control of Ericson. So, of course, he had to lie to her which manipulated her feelings about him and the situation. 
I believe Violet recognized it, too. When she says they should’ve asked more questions about what happened, I think that’s her being more pissed with herself for trusting Marlon and not questioning him further, for taking his word for it. 
I’ve come across theories suggesting that Marlon actually manipulated Violet into placing blame onto Brody rather than him, which is why she is on friendly terms with him but not so much Brody. And that’s a valid interpretation. There isn’t any solid evidence of this within the game to suggest either way, but I can definitely see how someone would come to that conclusion. Especially after the confrontation.
Now let’s touch on Violet if you appeal to her, because Marlon does something that makes me go “Hmmmm...”
Clementine, when she appeals to Violet, say, “Violet you have to believe me.”
To which, Marlon immediately steps in and says, “You don't. You met her, like, two days ago!”
He doesn’t even give her a chance to speak. 
With Louis, he’s so overly confident that he has him completely wrapped around his finger that he doesn’t feel the need to say anything. He feels he has control over Louis. But with Violet, he feels his control might not be as strong, so he needs to remind her that she just met Clementine, whereas she’s known him for years- something he uses against the whole group.
And when Clementine tries to talk to her, Marlon takes a low blow and it’s super shitty.
“Don't let her get in your head. Hey, what would Minnie want you to do? She was my friend, too. So was Brody.”
He’s desperate to crawl out of the grave this situation has put him in that he’s willing to go this low, doing everything he can to make sure Violet doubts Clementine... and y’know, whose to say this is the first time Marlon is using Minnie to manipulate her? And when it doesn’t work, he gets frustrated like “Violet being difficult. Why am I not surprised?” which could suggest that it hasn’t always worked. 
It goes back to what I was saying- Marlon tried to get close to Violet and she never let him. She was difficult to be around after the twins died due to her grief and Marlon struggled with that. 
When he finally comes clean, this is where the real shift happens with him and Violet. You can see the hatred burning on her face every time the camera pans over to her now that she’s felt betrayed by him and his actions. 
Right before Marlon dies, if you choose to say nothing, Violet will step forward and start saying that he doesn’t get to stay, but gets cut off when AJ shoots him. 
All in all, Violet is a big case against Marlon and a showcase of how far his manipulation as gone within Ericson.
[Marlon’s office and foreshadowing of motivations]
“Whenever someone goes outside the safe zone, bad shit happens. People die or disappear. I just... I could really use the help, Clementine. Taking care of these kids, it's not easy. I'm worried that if I don't figure something out, if...if I don't fix our food situation... I can't lose anyone else. We've already lost so much. Friends, siblings... I can't let another kid die. It could break us.”
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Swinging back around, let’s talk about the rest of the scene in the office. 
First off- it’s implied that Marlon uses the office as a bedroom given the mattress on the floor and some of his personal belongs laying about. Like the photo he keeps of him and Louis. 
The bed isn’t for Rosie, we assume, since we later see her sleeping outside while chained up. This might be just because they wanted Rosie present for the confrontation scene but didn’t want her loose, so they put her outside when you’d think that she’d sleep inside with everyone else. 
Or, maybe she just prefers to be outside when the weather’s nice, or they keep her as a guard in case something were to happen, that way she can alarm them. 
Anyway, why does Marlon potentially sleep in his office rather than in a dorm? Or does he have a dorm that he’ll sleep in, but keeps the mattress there just in case? 
Well, a show of authority, for one. Even if he does keep a dorm room, it’s likely that he made the office his own as a way to be like “The headmaster is gone, this is my office now. I’m in charge.” 
Which makes sense. 
And when you think about what Louis tells us about Marlon having all these sleepless nights and tough calls, it’s not hard to imagine him spending late nights in his chair going over different plans and stressing over the food situation/safe zone, as well as letting the guilt of the twins weigh on him to the point were he’s too exhausted to even leave.
Moving on to the actual conversation between him and Clementine. He does show a vulnerable side to her, which I like. He can feel the pressure he’s under and sense the loss he’s suffered. But...like before, looking at this knowing what I know, it’s not hard to see certain things in a different light opposed to what you’d see as a new player.
What’s interesting, though, is while I do enjoy this conversation and the bits of insight it gives to Marlon’s character, there is this subtle, slightly off undertone of the whole scene after the Rosie bit. 
At this point, we’ve talked with Aasim and he’s planted the seed of doubt.
We’ve heard the story about the twins. Violet came and talked to us about it, we could visit their graves and learn that they died at this time last year. Anyone who has played any game or heard any story can pick up on that the twins are important. They’re not going to use these girls as some throw away lines. They’re going to come back one way or another. 
We’re literally living in their dorm. The dorm that Marlon put us in. They’re heavily connected to Tenn and Violet, two important characters I previously discussed. Then, Violet comes barging into our room and talks about them some more. 
It makes the gears turn, y’know? 
And with Marlon being very insistent that they stay in the safe zone, it’s not hard to question the story about the twins. I went through and skimmed a couple play throughs on youtube to this scene and a lot of them were theorizing that the twins weren’t actually dead or something wasn’t right, some cracks are starting to show. Why else bring it up? Marlon being the one to push the dangers of the safe zone and everything with Aasim... it’s not hard to pick up that he might be hiding something.  
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The thing I find fascinating about people’s perception of Marlon is how they interpret his motivations when it comes to Clementine and AJ, and that can be tracked back to this scene. 
We all know that he’s planning on giving them to the raiders if they come back. It’s a hard fact. Brody warned us before she died, and dialogue during the basement scene backs it up. 
But the question I’m curious about is... when did this motivation begin? 
When did Marlon decide that he would give Clementine and AJ to the raiders if they ever came back? 
Because the text doesn’t tell us anything until Brody’s death, I feel like we all have a different moment where we believe that became Marlon’s secret motive, y’know? 
In all my digging, I’ve read posts about this idea, people giving their thoughts on when they think Marlon secretly turned on us, or if he was ever really on our side. 
One has people theorizing that Marlon saved Clementine and AJ with the intention of giving them away from the beginning. 
So he saw taking these two in and earning their trust as an opportunity to save everyone else at the school [the people he cares about] rather than have to sacrifice anyone else like they did with the twins. Clementine and AJ were just a means to an end if the raiders came back. 
Which is a rather sinister way to look at it and puts quite a negative spin on Marlon’s actions towards them - like how he’s willing to let them stay at the school not out of kindness but out of bad intentions, and every kind thing he ever did was to win over their trust so he could lure them out into the woods and do a trade if necessary. 
The line “Take this. I don't want you gettin' lost.” gets pointed at a lot due to how Marlon says it, the infliction of it, and it’s theorized that the hidden meaning behind it is “Take this, if you get lost then I can’t make the trade.”
Same thing with “Just remember to stay in the safe zone. We need you to come back home in one piece.”
Which isn’t a wrong interpretation of this. You can totally look at this conversation between Marlon and Clementine as Marlon subtly foreshadowing his turn, or betrayal, at the end of the episode.  
“...It's how we've kept ourselves from unwanted attention for so long. Well... For the most part, anyway.”
“I can't lose anyone else. We've already lost so much. Friends, siblings... I can't let another kid die. It could break us. Sorry. I'm just... There's a lot of pressure.” 
“What, did you think I was gonna throw you out?“
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Then there are the middle ground people who believe Marlon didn’t save Clementine and AJ with that intention in mind, but it started to appear as an option to him either a bit before or during the office scene. Y’know, it came as a passing thought that ended up lingering until he acknowledged it as a solution to a potential problem. 
Again, pointing at the dialogue from before- him suggesting that he’ll do whatever it takes to keep his community alive... just like he did before. 
And while he gets along with Clementine and AJ [or as some would suggest, he appears to be friendly], they’re not his family. He isn’t close to them the same way he is the rest of the school. and if he has to give anyone away, it’s going to be them, whether he wants to or not. 
Marlon didn’t want to give Sophie and Minerva away, and he’s carried that with him up until this point. We see it manifest to a breaking point that lead to Brody’s death and, eventually, his own. 
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Finally, there are the people who believe that the idea of giving Clementine and AJ away didn’t occur to him until after the incident with Abel. After Brody panicked and told him about getting robbed, then Clementine claiming they met a man with different colored eyes who wanted food, and the realization that the raiders could be back. 
This is where I personally stand when it comes to this idea. I believe that Marlon didn’t decide on this until he heard about Abel, and solidified it during the fight with Brody down in the basement. 
But what about the dialogue in this scene that potentially has double meanings? Well, I believe that’s the writers suggesting Marlon’s turn and motivations rather than Marlon himself, if that makes sense. Like I said before, you could take nearly everything Marlon says as some sort of foreshadowing or suggestion of what happened to the twins, what his true intentions are with Clementine and AJ, and what will happen to him at the end of the episode. 
That’s the thing- Marlon doesn’t ever go on a mustache-twirling monologue about how he knew he could use Clementine and AJ as trade if the raiders came back and that’s the real reason why he saved them, nor do we see him come up with the idea on the spot. 
Hell, Marlon never admits to the player that he was going to do that. The most he says is, “Shut your fucking mouth! I made the right call. I saved the lives of everyone in this fucking school! If they came back... I'd do it again!”  
Brody is the one who told us everything, and every time Clementine throws it back in his face, he tells her to shut up and threatens her with the gun. 
But from what I’ve tried to gather about what Marlon and Brody talk about in the basement before Clementine gets down there...
Marlon: “Why can't you just do what I ask you to do?”
Brody: “Because we caused all this, and now we have to deal with it!”
Marlon: “I am dealing with it!”
Brody: “By tradin' more of us away? That's not fixin' the problem, that's runnin' away from it!”
[I’ll come back to this full conversation later when I go over the basement scene by itself. It gets pretty dark.]
Which.... yeah. So, I’m not trying to say Brody was lying or anything just because Marlon never flat out admitted it to us the player, I’m just saying that we don’t know for sure when he made up his mind about this since the game never gives a clear suggestion for the sake of his dramatic turn from friend to antagonist. 
Did he have this idea from the start or did he come up with it during this conversation? 
We don’t know, but it’s interesting to look at the different views surrounding this question and how it applies to Marlon’s character. Because yeah, if you truly believe that Marlon had this intention from the start, it makes all of his actions in this episode pretty scummy. And again, that’s not wrong because there isn’t an answer here. 
I choose to believe that maybe the idea came as an unwanted thought in the beginning, but manifested into something real when he heard about Abel. He shared his plan with Brody, who didn’t want to go along with it. 
And y’know what... let’s finally get into the basement scene and Brody...
Continued in Part 2/2
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modafactor · 3 years
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TRENDS THAT ARE GOING VIRAL: FASHION 2021
After a year of staying indoors, it’s time to celebrate fashion and the latest trends. Taking inspiration from almost every decade, there are so many new ways to style your favorite colors and pieces. Express your personality, with a sleek bucket hat, or a neutral tracksuit with overcoats. It’s time to revisit the classic 2000s pastel shades and 50s-inspired headscarves. Checkout the trends that are going viral in 2021.
Reference- https://www.thetrendspotter.net/
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1. Pop Color Checks:
Bright colored checks are some of the latest trends to pop up in the fashion scene. This retro-inspired style is a cute way to brighten up your regular ensemble, and it’s easy to work it for every season. Try a bright pair of pants with a matching sweater and shoes, or make a plaid blouse the spotlight for a monochrome outfit. Complete the look with sneakers, or heels – there is a multitude of ways you can wear pop color checks, no matter your preference. You can style them up or down and instantly turn heads wherever you go.
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2. Neutral Co-Ord Sets
Summer or winter, spring or fall, this trend has been on our radar for a while, and it’s easy to see why it’s sticking around. Neutrals are a total classic in the industry right now, so why not pair all soft tones together? There are plenty of ways you can rock this idea – from a grey knot dress and matching sweater to a crop top paired with slouchy sweatpants and a cardigan. If you enjoy a pop of color, wear coordinating shoes and a bag in a rich hue such as brown, navy, or gold. It’s a timeless style that will always look chic and sophisticated.
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3. Large Floral Prints
We’re bringing back the 90s and 2000s in a big way, so why not start with the large flower pattern we know and love? This iconic mod-inspired print is gorgeous and fashionable, meaning you can style it with almost anything and look adorable. Pair a micro mini skirt and bold T-shirt in matching shades, or coordinate a cropped sweater and maxi skirt for an off-duty model feel. This is the perfect way to express yourself and celebrate the beautiful things in life.
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4. Pastel Colors All Over
This season is all about looking effortlessly chic and cute, which is the perfect reason to try pastel ensembles. The upgraded edition of the soft and buttery colors looks fantastic when combined in a single outfit, and you can find a way to wear it every season. Try a pair of lemon trousers and a lavender shirt, or add a bright pop of checked pants and chunky sneakers for the early 2000s feel. You can mix and match with different hues to add a further dimension to a monochromatic outfit or even play with patterns for a quirky twist.
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5. Tracksuit with Structured Coats
From the runways to the Instagram feeds, models and fashion lovers are rocking this trend. When it’s cold outside, and you want to stay warm, cozy, and look stylish, there’s no better option than wearing a tracksuit with a structured coat. When styling this funky combo, opt for shades that complement each other or are matching in tone. This way, you can add dimension to your outfit and look completely put together. Feel free to style it with sneakers or a set of chunky combat boots – this is an excellent way to recreate an off-duty model aesthetic and stay warm when the temperature drops.
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6. Fluorescent Pops
Celebrate your favorite colors of the season by adding them to your wardrobe. This season, we love bright shades and patterns that make you stand out – so why not infuse them with your daily outfits? Try a neon green blazer with your usual black jeans and T-shirt, or swap out your tracksuit for a hot pink suit – these shades will have you feeling bright, bubbly, and ready to take on the day. Fashion is all about experimenting and trying out new ways to express yourself, so have fun with it!
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7. Headscarves
Seeking inspiration from the likes of Grace Kelly in the 50s to fashion icons in the early 2000s, this trend has come and gone in the fashion world for nearly a century. We can easily understand why it keeps coming back – it looks so good. These headscarves are easy to style and look effortlessly chic with any outfit. Wrap a patterned scarf in half and place it on your head – find matching sunglasses, and voila, you’ve turned yourself into a Hollywood starlet or a runway model.
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8. Androgynous Style
Androgyny has been a staple trend in the fashion world since the 1930s. This aesthetic is coming back in a big way, from oversized suits to mixing and matching shirts and blazers. This year we are loving straight-leg pants with unisex t-shirts, bomber jackets and turtlenecks, and 80s-inspired tailoring. Try working them in neutral shades, and add a pop of color like red or green for a real statement. When it comes to fashion, putting yourself out of your comfort zone and trying new things is the best way to experiment with your style – don’t be afraid to mix things up, play with gender and have some fun!
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9. Wide Leg Jeans
Sorry skinny leg pants, but it’s time for wide-leg jeans to rule supreme. This season it’s all about taking inspiration from the early 2000s, and what better way to celebrate this era in fashion than with one of its most prominent trends? Sitting high on the waist and flaring out past the knees, these bottoms elongate your legs and give off a relaxed 70s vibe. You can style them with a cropped sweater or a singlet, or even an oversized shirt or cardigan. Play with colors and have some fun with different patterns and styles – we guarantee they will become your go-to choice for a day out with friends or to brunch.
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10. Pastel Color Bucket Hats
Another trend that has stuck around for some time is the bucket hat, but we’re giving it a retro twist this year. Pastel shades like lavender, lemon, and baby pink are great to play with, and they look so cute when paired with coordinating hues. Match your accessory to your shirt, bag, or entire ensemble to elevate your style aesthetic and tie the outfit together. Wear your hair out to frame your face, keeping the brim sitting just above your eyebrows to showcase your stunning features. There’s no better way to stay SunSmart and look effortlessly flawless!
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bridger-2021 · 3 years
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Bridger Review 2021 -⚠️HOAX or LEGIT⚠️
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stressedkitkatttt · 5 years
Note
Can you do a fluff of the reader saying Richard and him bringing her around aaliyah for the first time
I am soooo sorry this came out so late anon! I swear I didn’t forget about it! I wanted to finish this the night you gave me the request then school started back up and things got a little more hectic…..*I also know nothing of Aaliyah’s custody arrangement between Richard and Yocelyn. So the situation mentioned is not real in any way, and if it is, it’s purely a coincidence that I guessed it right.
Word Count: 1.8k
Warnings: Aaliyah(she’s too adorable), Aaliyah gets hurt(for a brief second), reader has slight anxiety(nothing too serious), Richard being a little softie, mentions of sex(mentioned for like .5 seconds)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You and Richard have been dating for a few months and you can honestly say he makes you the happiest girl in the world. He treats you like a queen, takes you out for dinner, and not mention how good the sex was. His parents liked you as well. Almost every time you see them they had nothing but good things to say about you. And how every time Richard sees them he can’t stop talking about you.
All this was nice but there was a person you still had yet to officially meet. Richard’s other world and princess: Aaliyah. Though you’ve been with Richard for a few months you have yet to actually meet Aaliyah. She was either with her mom, sleeping, or you were too busy with work.
This weekend, however, Richard had set up a day at the park where you, him, and Aaliyah could bond. To say you were excited was an understatement. After all, this is gonna be the first time you meet Aaliyah. How could you not be happy? You’ve seen enough of Richard’s Instagram and Snapchat stories to know somewhat of what to expect with Aaliyah. She seemed so sweet and innocent.
When the weekend finally came around, you were both excited and nervous. You were basically meeting someone you knew almost everything about but has no idea who you are. Weird how that works out? How you can know everything about someone and never meet them in person. You get lost in your thoughts about the different scenarios that could happen.
“Y/N. You ready to go?” Richard breaks you from your thoughts by placing his hand on your thigh. You grin widely and nod, following him to the car. You get in the passenger seat and Richard gets into the driver’s seat. You couldn’t help the nervous tapping of your foot.
Richard looks over at you, reaching a hand over to squeeze your knee reassuringly. “You’re gonna be fine. Aaliyah loves meeting new people.”“I know, I’m fine. I’m just more excited than nervous.” You reply, reaching to intertwine your hand with his. When the car reaches a stoplight, Richard turns to you and places a kiss on your lips.
When you reach the park where Yocelyn is going to drop off Aaliyah, Richard finds an open parking space. He turns the car off and turns to look at you. You were looking the in the mirror of the sun visor, making sure there was nothing in your teeth when you felt Richard’s eyes on you. You turn to face him. “Do I look okay?”
He doesn’t reply immediately, entranced by the way you look in the sun’s rays. Almost like you were glowing. You take his non-verbal response and quickly check the mirror again. He suddenly grabs your hand again and tells you to look at him. “You are so beautiful,” he looks deep into your eyes. “You look absolutely perfect.” You could hear the genuine tone in his voice. He really meant what he said.
You’ll admit, seeing Richard’s softer side was a nice change once in a while. He leans in and lands a kiss on your lips. You kiss back. It didn’t take much effort to get either of you hooked. You only stopped when a car pulled into the spot next to you. You look past Richard and see Yocelyn in the driver’s seat.You stay in the car for a moment, taking a few deep breaths and fixing your shirt…. well, fiddling with it. You hear another car door open and Richard exclaims, “Hey there baby girl!” Followed by an excited, high-pitched, “Daddy!” You can’t help but smile. You open the door and get out, looking over the car and seeing Richard hold up Aaliyah up in the sky. She’s giggling and laughing like crazy.
You close your door and wait patiently while Richard and Yocelyn talk. Aaliyah, still in Richard’s arms, looks over his shoulder and sees you. You smile and wave, making her giggle and wave back shyly. When they finish talking, Yocelyn sees you and gives a little wave before turning to Aaliyah and telling her to be good. She gets in her car and drives away.
Richard turns to you and smiles, Aaliyah now facing you. “Aaliyah, this is Y/N,” he says to her. She smiles and suddenly becomes all shy. The faintest “Hi” reaches your ears and you reply in kind. “Are you ready to go play?” She nods and gets all excited again. He puts her down and holds her hand while you guys walk across the parking lot.
Thankfully there aren’t many kids and the second Richard lets go of her hand, she’s off and running. You both stick close to her, though it’s hard to follow her through the tunnels. Watching Aaliyah having so much fun on the playground made you think back to your childhood days and a sudden rush of nostalgia hits you. God how you wished you were a kid again.
Arms wrap around your waist and a familiar cologne pull you from the trance and you lean into Richard’s embrace. “What’re you thinking ‘bout?” His sentence is muffled.
“Oh, just how I wish I was a kid again.” You keep an eye on Aaliyah as she moves through the structures. Richard hums against your skin, leaving little pecks here and there. You both jump when you hear crying. You run towards the source of the noise, Richard right behind you. You turn a corner and see Aaliyah on the ground crying. You rush to her side and look for wounds.
You’re shocked to see when she looks up at you and makes grabby hands. You reach down and pick her up, letting her cry into your shoulder. Richard turns the corner to see you gently rubbing her back and calming her down. He walks over and makes sure that she’s alright. You walk to a bench and sit down while rubbing comforting circles on her back. When her cries die down she leans back and looks at you with glossy eyes. “Are you gonna be okay?” She sniffles and nods, a little smile peeking on her lips.
You set her down gently only to have her tug your hand and drag you to the structures. So caught up in helping Aaliyah, you didn’t realize that since you sat down on the bench, Richard was recording. Aaliyah took your full attention. You chased her around the playground and pretended to scare her coming down the slide, only resulting in her screaming and giggling, running off again.
The day seems to drag on forever and soon Aaliyah was finally getting tired. You let her go down the slide one last time before picking her up and turning to walk back to Richard. Only to see him on his phone….. Recording. “Richard! Are you recording me?!” You walk towards him as he puts his phone down.
“No…” he grins like the Cheshire cat. You roll your eyes and walk towards the car. He laughs and follows you, helping you put Aaliyah in her car seat. You put a blanket over her and she holds it tight before falling asleep. You both get in the car and Richard pulls out onto the road and drives home.
The drive is silent as not to wake up the princess, who fell asleep mere moments after getting the blanket. You grab Richard’s hand and intertwine it with yours, the gesture making him turn and smile for a moment. When you get home you carefully maneuver sleeping beauty to her room and put her to bed. Closing the door you both let out a sigh of relief and make your way to your bedroom. Though the clock says 3:00, you both had a tiring day. You faceplant into the soft covers and make Richard laugh.
“Having kids isn’t easy, is it?” He looks down at you.
You grumble out a response but it’s muffled and Richard laughs again. He follows you and pulls you to his chest.
There’s silence for a moment before Richard breaks it, “So, I assume you like Aaliyah?”
You turn in his arms and look up at him, “Like her? Richard, I love her! If you keep her with me long enough that kid is gonna get away with murder.” You laugh. Richard joins you, knowing that Aaliyah could wrap just about anyone around her little finger. “Now shut up, I’m trying to sleep.” He huffs and soon he feels your breathing change; becoming slower and deeper.
He never expected to find someone he genuinely loved. Granted, it had only been about 3 months since you guys started “officially” dating but he felt something with you that he had never felt with anyone else. You made him smile, could make him laugh, and not to mention just how flawless you were in his eyes. He couldn’t get enough of you. He had to admit, he did sometimes get ahead of himself, thinking he loved someone when really it was just a fling with a pretty girl but you were so much different. Maybe he’ll take it slower this time. Actually, get to know you and understand you.
Then maybe. Just maybe……
You could be the one for him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You wake to the ping of notifications. You grab your phone and rub your eyes to see all your social media blowing up. Richard must’ve posted the videos…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Omg…… I fucking loved writing this! I’m sorry I haven’t posted in a long time! Not to mention all the people that don’t know how to drive in the snow and hit all the power lines they can my internet service is not the best where I live(basically the internet company doesn’t give two fucks about its customers). But after all the complaining, they sent me an expensive modem for free(after complaining for like a year-and-a-half). So I should be able to post more often now!
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knifeshoeoreofight · 5 years
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He keeps dreaming of snow. 
It’s July. The weather is warm and sticky, and the sun has been blazing hot for weeks. And he dreams about snow.
It’s the same every time. A lake fringed with dark trees, the ice covered in a flawless expanse of white. Blank and perfect. In the dream, he has a pair of skates slung over his shoulder by the laces. When he swings them down to untie the knots and get them on his feet, they’re always a different pair he recognizes.
The first pair of good skates he’d received as a child, still able to fit him in the boundless logic of dreaming. He’d fallen asleep clutching them to his chest when he’d gotten them that Christmas. Stuffed dog under one arm, skates under the other. 
The beat up pair he hid in Rimouski, so that he could practice even after they took away his regular skates. The same ones he’d take to play shinny in the park, just to feel a little normal. Free.
The pair he wore to win gold in Vancouver, gleaming and perfect. 
In the dream he sits on a snowbank and pulls the skates on, and then he’s on the ice. You can’t skate on snow-covered ice, but it doesn’t seem to matter. Dream logic again.
The dark trees around the lake never grow closer, no matter how hard he skates for the opposite shore. Always, he ends up standing in the middle of that blank, unsettling expanse of white, frustrated. When he looks behind him, there’s never a mark in the featureless snow to show where he’s been. Nothing.
And he wakes up then, usually, disturbed and wondering why the fuck he’s dreaming that dream again. 
***
He’s busy enough.The flurry of early summer weddings has petered out, finally. He loves his friends’ happiness, but the annual glut gets…old. Exhausting.
He has a few media obligations, some pre-planned get togethers with Nate and any of the boys who happen to be in town. He’s ramping up the training. But he still has too much damn time to brood in between it all. You’d think he’d be able to get the bad taste of last season out of his mouth by now, but it lingers, their ignominious playoff exit following him like a shadow.
He fishes, he paddleboards. He golfs. He trains some more. He tries going to the farmer’s market and has to leave after fifteen minutes because of the commotion his appearance causes. He teaches himself how to make gluten free parmesan chicken from the Internet.
He checks social media, liking pictures of babies and dogs and summertime shenanigans on Instagram. He uploads a photo of his dock at sunrise to his private one, to a flurry of likes and chirping about being a boring old man, fishing all day. 
It’s a little funny but it stings a bit too. He doesn’t like to think of himself as old. He’s not, by ordinary standards. But he is in hockey years, and it terrifies him sometimes. 
He should post more often, then maybe he’d get less shit from the guys. He’d only made his account in the first place so that he could follow the people that mattered to him. 
He wakes up early to find that Geno commented a string of parentheses and a couple incomprehensible emojis. 
He’s given up trying to interpret what Geno means by them; he’s 90% sure he just picks the weirdest ones possible just to fuck with people. 
Sid ponders what to respond, and finally settles on turtle, Brazillian flag, paperclip. There, let him have a taste of his own medicine. 
i dont get it, jake posts underneath. Probably sex stuff, replies Flower. better not to ask. 
Asshole, Sid replies, and feels his face flush. It’s all meant as a joke, but thinking of sex and Geno too close together is always a problem, and he buries the well-worn thing he doesn’t acknowledge like he always does. 
***
The next time he has the dream, there’s someone else there. He doesn’t see them, but their presence behind him lies on him like a weight.
He stops in the middle of the lake like he always does. The presence behind him stops too.
“Hey,” Sid says, more as an inquiry than a greeting.
Some small bit of dream-awareness slots into place, and he knows that it’s Geno, behind him.
“Three years Superleague, huh?” Sid says. It’s good, and right, Geno standing behind him.
***
More training. A podcast recording with Biz and Whit that actually ends up being a lot of fun. Just shooting the shit and swapping stories. 
They ask him about Geno, of course, angling for some dirt, some “ha ha he’s so Russian” and “what a bully” kind of shit. Sid doesn’t give them anything.
Geno, Sid has always thought, is more just like an enormous cat. A little moody and opinionated, liking things to be just so. Affectionate and friendly only on his own terms. He’s always wondered if that was mostly due to the language barrier, or if it’s just how Geno is. He used to watch whenever Geno spoke to Gonch, or his friends on other teams. Listen to the faster cadence of his voice, the expansive movements of his hands, the expressiveness of his face. Trying to figure out who Geno really was when he was comfortable and at ease.
He used to watch Geno way too much in those days.
It’s still a problem sometimes.
Geno always treated Sid a little differently. All of his brash pushiness is tempered a little. He always looks into Sid’s eyes when Sid is trying to tell him something, leaning in and listening with his whole body. Sid has never taken that deference and respect for granted, treating Geno’s fierce loyalty as the precious honor it is.Geno gives zero consequence to people he’s decided he doesn’t like or respect. He isn’t like Sid, he doesn’t bother to reign in his colossal emotions or attempt a veneer of politeness or charm. If he’s done with you he’s done with you. 
Geno is Geno, and Sid, god help him, has always loved him for it.
***
He has the dream again, and it’s accompanied by a creeping sense of dread. He and the Geno-presence take to the ice. In the middle of the lake, instead of smooth white, the snow is broken by a series of jagged cracks, dark water sloshing malevolently inches from Sid’s skates. 
“Fuck, look out–” he tells Dream-Geno, but Dream-Geno steps past him, for the first time.
“Geno!” Sid tries to scream, but he doesn’t have the air. In the disjointed way of dreams, Sid just knows that Dream-Geno is in the water now, even if he didn’t see anything happen. 
He drops to his knees, and reaches out. The water looks liquid, but his fingers scrabble along it like it’s ice. He claws at it, horror and desperation cresting over him. He’s trying to scream Geno’s name, but he can’t- he just can’t- 
When he wakes up, he’s gasping, heart trying to pound its way out of his chest. He’s disoriented for a split second, grief crushing, until he wakes up further and realizes he was dreaming. 
He sits up with a groan, shreds of the dream and its dread slowly fading around him. Fuck. He hasn’t had a nightmare like that in years. 
He checks the time on his phone, curses to see that it’s three thirty in the morning. He drags himself up, flinching as he flips the bathroom light on. He takes a piss, and splashes water on his face as if he can wash away the lingering awfulness of the dream.
So weird. He hadn’t really seen anything, but the emotions themselves had felt so real. 
Back in bed, he almost doesn’t want to go back to sleep. He feels wide awake anyway. What he wants to do, is. 
Incredibly stupid.
Good for a lifetime of shit-talking if Geno tells anyone.
He does it anyway. 
You up? He texts Geno. It’s nine-something am in Moscow, so who knows. Geno’s not exactly a morning person.
There’s no answer, for long enough that he starts to feel even more colossally lame than he already did. 
Then his phone rings, making him jump. Fuck.
“Sid?” Geno says when he picks up. “What’s happen? It’s night for you.”
God, his voice. Deep and rumbling right in his ear. Accent thick like it always gets over the summer when he doesn’t use his English for months. Sid feels something in him let go, soothed by a living, breathing Geno at the other end of the line. But, then, he realizes that he now has to come up with an explanation that isn’t just, “hey bud, just had a real bad dream, wish you were here to fucking tuck me in, eh?” 
“Uh. I’m okay it’s just… I was thinking.”
There’s a judgmental silence on the other end of the line. Sid pinches the bridge of his nose with his free hand.
“You’re gonna chirp me forever, man. I, uh. I’ve been having this dream.” 
“Whaat?” Geno draws the word out, somehow conveying both amusement and disbelief. 
“I know, I know. But I’ve been having this stupid dream about skating on a lake, yeah? Just over and over. It’s fucking weird. And you were there? I think. The last few times, anyway. And this time there were these cracks in the ice, and you fell in. You know how even if it doesn’t make sense, for a second in a dream your brain doesn’t know the difference? Well. You, you were dead.” 
He pauses, realizing he’s babbling, how stupid this is. Shame washes over him. 
“Okay…” Geno says, clearly trying to take all of that in. “Sorry for dream?”
“Not your fault,” Sid says automatically. “So, yeah. Pretty much I just wanted to hear your voice.”
Geno huffs out a laugh. “Okay. I’m doing good, so.” There’s a pause, like he’s considering something. 
“It’s little bit cute, you know? Call me for scared.” His tone is amused but not as teasing as Sid would expect.
Still. Cute.
“Oh my god,” Sid groans, and flops back into his pillows.
“So stupid,” he says, more to himself then to Geno.
“No, no,” Geno says, and he’s definitely laughing now. “It’s fine, most cute. Can call me, I can give you some story, for sleep. Maybe some song.”
“Fuck off,” Sidney gripes, but he’s kind of smiling at the ceiling now, like a dweeb. 
Geno yawns, then audibly settles back into the bed or couch he’s probably lounging on. “So, keep having dream?”
“Yeah, over and over. No idea why.”
“Stress?”
Sid is quiet for a moment, wondering how to answer. “Maybe. My birthday, the season coming up. You know.”
“You captain,” Geno says. “Lots things for worry.” The matter of fact way he says it is comforting, somehow. “You need come here. Have fun in Russia.”
“Naw. The visa would take too long to get,” Sid says, wondering if Geno means it, if he’d really like to show Sid around Moscow.
“You know how long it’s take?” Geno sounds amused again, like he’s smiling. “You think about?” 
“Oh, off and on,” Sid answers. “Over the years, you know.”
“Should do, Russia best.”
Sid laughs. “Oh, for sure.”
“You do, you come. We go to banya, we eat Russian food. You can go to some museum, so boring.”
It sounds… really good. It makes an old ache start up behind Sid’s ribcage to think about it, but it sounds good. Especially if…
There’s always been an expiration date on Geno’s time in the US. And if this season is as bad as the last–
Sid tamps down the urge to surrender to the loss he can sense hovering on the horizon. 
“That sounds amazing, G. I want to, I really do. What about next summer? I can make sure the paperwork is all set up ahead of time.” Something to look forward to in that summer, no matter what. A way to delay Geno from slipping through his fingers if Geno decides he’s finally had it.
He’s being irrational, he knows. Geno has a contract. And yet.
“Yes, we do,” Geno says, with finality. “You come.”
They’re both quiet for a moment. Then there’s a bit of rustling on Geno’s end, like he’s sitting up. He sounds more awake when he speaks again.
“I can come early, now. Go to Canada first.”
Sid blinks, his lips parting in surprise. “Come here? To Nova Scotia? You’d want to?”
“No more bad dream,” Geno coos mockingly, and Sid has to laugh.
“You gonna tuck me in at night, eh?” Fuck, no, what is he doing. That sounds like he’s trying to flirt, or something. He needs to backpedal. 
“For real though. I’d always love to have you visit, you know that. I just thought, it’s a little quiet, maybe. Boring.” His voice, damn it, is a lot softer than he meant it to sound. Maybe revealing a little too much. He hopes Geno isn’t paying attention.
“Mooost boring,” Geno drawls. Then, firmly: “I come. You can show me fishing. No golf.” 
Something stupid and anticipatory flutters in Sidney’s gut. “Sure, okay. Let’s uh, work out the details.” Fuck.
***
Geno plans to go to Miami for a week, then to Sid’s, then to fly together down to Pittsburgh for training camp. He grouses a little at needing to be early because Sid is the captain and always shows up in town first. 
He grumbles but then he’s there in a week and a half, tanned and insolent with a backwards SnapBack on his head, rolling a lollipop stick between his teeth and disturbing Sid’s whole universe.
He pulls Sid in for a one armed hug and a backslap, right there in the terminal. He smells like airplane and very nice cologne, and Sid wonders why the hell he allowed this to happen.
He’s exhausted but looks around avidly as they take the 102 down to Dartmouth.
“Flat,” he says thoughtfully. “Big sky. Like Russia.”
Sid feels disproportionately pleased about that. 
It’s so strange, looking at home through Geno’s eyes, or trying to. He wants him to like it. 
“Halifax is across the harbor from where we are now,” Sid explains. “We can take a look around tomorrow.”
“I’m look Google Earth,” Geno says. “Little bit. Pretty.”
“It is,” Sid agrees. 
There’s a strange little smile playing around Geno’s lips as he takes in his surroundings. Sid isn’t quite sure what it means.
When they get to Sid’s place, Geno unfolds his long legs from the car and shoves his sunglasses up on his head. He just stands there for a minute, looking at the house, the sliver of lake visible through the trees. 
Then he looks at Sid, like he’s fitting Sid into this place in his mind. That wry little smile is back.
“Looks like you,” he says, and Sid isn’t quite sure what he means. 
***
Sid takes Geno out on the lake to fish. He takes him to the rink for training, where Geno imperiously nods once at Nate and then proceeds to ignore him for the rest of the drills. He stands in the lobby for a long time, looking at the display of Sid’s jerseys and photos. He takes a picture of one of Sid’s Timbits photos with his phone. 
Sid takes him around Halifax, as promised, then to his parent’s house, where Geno is all charm and bashful politeness, helping Sid’s mom in the kitchen and talking hockey with Sid’s dad. 
In every place, it’s a strange collision of worlds. Sid has to stop himself from just, staring all the time. Geno, here in his life. Lying on the floor of his parents’ living room to fuss over Sam. Rifling through Sid’s cabinets to judge his lack of acceptable tea. Strapping on his pads in the locker room of the rink where Sid learned to skate. 
He fits easier than Sid had imagined, and that ache seems to sit in his chest all the time now.
***
Geno’s been there nearly a week when Sid has the dream again. Same thing, with Geno disappearing into the dark water. 
Sid wakes up drenched in sweat, and swears before stumbling as quietly as he can to his kitchen for cold water from the Brita in the fridge. 
“Sid?”
Sid yelps, sloshing water all over the counter. “Fuck!” 
Geno’s lying on the couch in the living room, awash in the blue light of the muted television. 
“What are you doing up? Did I wake you?” 
“Still little bit jet lag. What’s happen? Dream, again?” 
Sid takes his glass of water and stands pointedly by the couch until Geno pulls up his knees and frees a space for Sid to sit. 
“Yeah.” Sid sighs. “So stupid.” He rubs at his eyes. 
“I’m die?” 
Sid stares ahead at the silent TV. It’s showing an ad for Canadian Tire. He’s not sure how he feels about talking about this, least of all talking about it with Geno. “Uh huh.” 
Geno scoots partially upright, and regards Sid with a surprising amount of gravity. 
“What you worry about, Sid?” he says, and it’s quiet, his voice low. 
Sid can’t look at him. He takes a long swallow of water and sets his glass carefully on the coffee table, trying to decide how honest to be. 
He’s too tired, on too many levels, to say anything other than the truth. 
“That if we have another season like we did, you’ll decide you’re done.” 
Geno whole face seems to go soft, his mouth dropping open a little. 
“I know,” Sid says quickly. “I know, this is so stupid, but I just—” 
Geno swings his feet to the floor, and suddenly he’s right there next to him, so close their thighs are almost touching. 
“Sid,” Geno says, and waits to continue until Sid looks over at him. 
“Until I’m hurt or you leave, I’m not leave Penguins.” 
His voice is softer and more reassuring than Sid has ever heard it before. What is happening. 
He can’t speak for a moment. 
“I, uh. Fuck, G.” 
Geno is just. Sitting there so close Sid can feel the heat of his body, looking at Sid with dark, serious eyes. 
Sid wants to kiss him. Wants to push him back onto the couch and mark him up. Something must have shown in his face because Geno tilts his head, brows drawing together in puzzlement. 
“Sid?”
Sid shakes his head. He has to get It together, in so many ways. 
“No, yeah, sorry I just.” He sighs. “Thank you, G. I can’t tell you how much that means.” 
Geno makes a hum of agreement, and stands, extending a hand to Sid. Sid shouldn’t take it but he does, let’s Geno haul him to his feet, and lets Geno…pull him in for a hug apparently. Oh no. 
This time Geno smells like the body wash Sid keeps in the guest bedroom, and his worn t shirt is soft against Sid’s cheek. 
It’s a curiously long embrace, and when Geno’s arms tighten Sid allows himself the indulgence of relaxing, letting himself melt into it. 
Geno raises one hand and lays it heavily on the nape of Sid’s neck. He eases back so he can look into Sid’s face. 
Sid can’t tell what he’s thinking. And he himself can’t think at all, not with Geno’s hand pressing onto his neck and his everything so, so close. 
He realizes, slowly, that Geno’s hands are shaking. 
“G?”
“Sid,” Geno says, husky and so low. 
Sid feels outside of his body, incredulous that this is really, actually happening as Geno, very slowly, leans in, pausing just a hairsbreadth from Sid’s lips. 
“Sid?”
“Yeah,” he sighs, and tilts his head up to cross that final bit of separation. 
Geno’s kiss is soft lips and hot mouth, gasped breaths and possessive sweeps of those huge hands. 
Sid shudders in his arms as Geno moves to his neck, trailing kisses across his jaw and down to the skin bared by the vee of his sleep shirt. 
Sid tugs them backwards, folding when the couch hits the back of his legs and pulling Geno down over him. 
He’s greedy, he’s starving. He can’t touch enough skin, he can’t get Geno close enough. He sets his teeth where Geno’s neck meets his shoulder and nearly keens when Geno moans and responds with a slow, devastating roll of his hips. 
“Geno, is this— are you—“
Geno pushes himself upright enough to look Sid in the eyes. 
“Won’t leave, Sid. Can’t.”
“I’ve wanted this,” Sid confesses. “I’ve wanted this for a really long time.”
“Good,” Geno says, and rolls his hips again. 
“I can’t just do a, a one time fuck or—“ 
“No,” Geno says sharply. “No.” He leans on one elbow so that he can lay a hand on Sid’s cheek. “We’re like this, you know? Mine.” 
Sid feels too bright and expansive for his skin. He fists a hand in Geno’s t-shirt and tugs him closer. 
“Mine,” he echoes, and Geno groans, responding to another tug and taking Sid’s mouth in a deep, demanding kiss. 
Hands and mouths and the greedy rocking of their bodies bring them to completion within moments of each other. 
Sid lies there after, stroking his hand over Geno’s head where he’s laid it on Sid’s chest. He’s sprawled over Sid like a gigantic, clingy octopus, and Sid is feeling the kind of incredulous elation he normally associates with Cups and Olympic gold. 
“Thanks for coming, G,” he says, and although he meant “coming to Canada,” 
Geno snorts. 
“You know what I mean, dickhead,” Sid says, laughing. 
“I mean it,” he says a few minutes later. “I’m just, yeah.” 
Geno smiles at him like that made perfect sense, and doesn’t protest when Sid prods him upright and tugs him along into Sid’s bedroom. 
***
Jet lag or not, Geno falls asleep with Sid spooned up behind him, and is still asleep when Sid wakes up to the mid-morning sun streaming in the windows. Heart impossibly full, the old ache released and gone, Sid presses a kiss to the sun-gilded skin of Geno’s shoulder. 
He had dreamt of the lake again, but this time, as happened for him only rarely, he’d lucid-dreamed. 
“No,” he’d told Dream-Geno, and turned his back on the lake. Which suddenly was a completely frozen Monongahela River. 
He points up the bank, towards the arena. “We’ve got a game to get to.” 
Dream-Geno put his hand in Sid’s, and leaned down to kiss his hair. 
“Let’s go,” he tells Sid, and they walk up the bank together.
158 notes · View notes
potaetaezz · 5 years
Text
|| Sweet like Coffee || 5
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prev << >> next
pairing: Nct Dream x Reader  [female]
genre/au: fluff | teeny bit of angst (to come) | enemies to lovers | Everyone is just a clueless bunch of weirdos, you get the drill.
warnings: slight swearing, immature content
A/N: its’s my first fanfic so no judgment lol | Finally a long chp | I’m so sorry if my fanfics are late, I’ve so much studying to do | here we go~
_____________________________________
Monday [2:14]
His eyes were dark and looked as if they were searching for something deep within yours. The corner of his mouth curled up in an unsettling way. Looking at him now, as close as you were, you could see a small scar just above his jawline, and a few smile lines below his eyes. (although you’ve never really seen him smile)                                                                                                                                            You could feel his hot breath on you, and if you were to move any closer, you might kiss the arrogance from his mouth. You could see the specs of gold and allure in his eyes, as they bore into yours, almost devouring you. He was almost flawless. Until he spoke.
“Yes?” You said, trying to hide the waver in your voice.
“I believe you owe me.” His eyes found this amusing. You, however, did not.
You scoffed at his unnatural confidence. “I think it’s the other way around.”
“An apology.” He was overflowing with stubbornness.
“That would be nice, go ahead.” But so were you.
Your conversation was filled with sarcasm, witty comments a touch of amusement.
“If I remember correctly I spilled coffee on you by accident, you did it on purpose.”
He was right and you hated to admit it.
You tried to protest, that he never even apologised and instead gave a cringey remark, but he wasn’t taking it. He just laughed over his shoulder.
“I’ll be expecting a coffee on my desk tomorrow morning. Strong, iced, no milk.”
“And if there’s not?” your voice trailed after him as he sauntered off, as smug as ever.
“I’ll tell Jeno.”
——— 
As you entered the room, you saw Renjun sitting on your desk talking with Jeno, waiting to hear the news. Your mind raced with questions and worry stemming from Jaemin’s obnoxious words.
“Well?” Renjun looked at you with eager eyes.
“He just wanted to talk.” you attempted, facing the floor.
“As long as everything’s okay.” He didn’t ask questions for he knew you wouldn’t answer them.
“Of course, now get off my desk.” you laughed.
As you took your seat, Jeno faced you fully, with uncertainty growing in every breath.
“You sure y/n?”
You knew he wouldn’t give this up until you told him what happened. Jeno was such a caring person, always making sure people were okay or comfortable.
“Yeah, he just--“ you panicked, you couldn’t tell him Jaemin basically blackmailed you because he’d start asking questions which you couldn’t answer. “He apologised.”
You didn’t anticipate the disbelief that masked his face.
‘Shit’ you muttered under your breath. You forgot he was his best friend for a second.
“Jaemin did? Na Jaemin?”
You nodded shyly. What else could you do but play along. You’ve already said too much.
Then he laughed and a smile emerged, yet your heart speeded up with worry, and you laughed a cautious laugh.
--------
What surprised you most about the day was the fact that Jeno actually kept his promise of bringing you to the cake shop. It was in a quite popular area of the city. There were plants and flowers hanging from the ceiling and walls. The benches by the windows were covered in pillows and light green and pink colours were splattered everywhere.
You tried to pay, but he wouldn’t take it. He was such a gentleman, always.
You sat down in the corner with two small cakes and two coffees. He took aesthetic pictures of you in front of the window and threatened to post them on Instagram. (He did, but only when he got home). Being like this with Jeno, eased your heart a little bit. Renjun and Lila ended up joining as well an hour and a half later. Renjun got along really well with Jeno, and Lila was herself, truly herself.
You haven’t smiled like that in a while. It warmed your heart as you walked home, Jeno ended up following you, as Renjun went with Lila.
Jeno seemed to let down his guard in the moonlight, and he spoke more freely and casually. He was kicking a stone behind you, laughing when he missed, like a child.
But then his deeper and curious side got the better of him.
“Y/n,” he began, his voice deeper than the ocean as he spoke your name softly. “Do you believe in love at first sight.”
That caught you unaware. 
The innocence of his voice, mixed with the profound curiosity hiding in the question made you drunk. On the moonlight and everything left unsaid.
You thought about the answer in your head first. “No. I believe that you can be attracted to someone at the start, but it’s who they are that makes you fall into love.”
He smiled. It seemed he too was drunk on the moonlight. You gestured to him for his opinion. 
“I don’t know.” his eyes met yours, “I’ve never been in love.” The way the words fell from his mouth made your eyes soften and heart flutter.
The rain began slowly, but neither of you noticed. You were both listening intently to every word in the song Jeno played on his phone. As it began to get heavier, nothing changed. Water rolled down your cheek, but you didn’t rush home. For you loved the rain, and perhaps Jeno’s company even more.
When you reached your door, his eyes gazed into yours, his hand faintly pushed the hair on your face behind your ear. You wanted nothing more than to wrap your arms around him and bury yourself in his warmth or to lift your chin ever so slightly and have your lips meet his. But before he left, you grabbed a scarf from inside and wrapped it loosely around his neck. Your heart ached to say goodbye. 
But his smile soothed the pain.
“Goodnight.”
———
Tuesday [7:46]
This was the first time this year Renjun didn’t come to wake you with coffee in his hands. You decided to save yourself the embarrassment of an extra pair of eyes, watching you leave a coffee for the Na Jaemin. You walked into school super early. An idea struck you. The embarrassment doesn’t only have to be for you. You could twist things around ever so slightly.
There was barely anyone in school yet, apart from a few lonely souls haunting the hallways. You saw Lila’s table, and beside it, Jaemin’s.
Bingo
Knowing Lila’s addiction to gossip, she would love this, she will love this. You set the coffee down as well as a note. Definitely, the most sickly sweet note you’ve ever written. It included a few pet names and wayy too many hearts.  
You actually gagged writing the note. Oh well, it was for a good cause, kind of. You just wished you could see Jaemin’s face when he reads it. It might even add a bit of color to his cheeks.
The rest of the day was quiet, apart from your heart around Jeno, and for a while, you almost forgot about the whole ‘tutoring Haechan’ thing. You weren’t even that good at English, but looking into Jeno’s eyes you’d agree to anything. 
You went to the school library early, to set up. You chose the seat in the corner. You got Haechan a coffee willingly so that he might despise you a little bit less. 
You waited until it was about 5:30 but there was still no sign of Haechan. It annoyed you, to say the least.
And just as you were about to start packing up, the brown-haired boy sat down in front of you, not a school bag insight.
“You’re late.” You hissed.
“Am I?” Sarcasm hidden in his voice.
You shoved the coffee over to him and rolled your eyes. “Just please be on time please, I actually have things to do. 
He didn’t reply, and you took that as an agreement.
His eyes were full of disinterest and spec of disdain.
“Where’s your book?” You sounded like a mother, but you couldn’t help it.
“In my bag.”
“Which is where?”
“At home.” he laughed. He dared to laugh.
You got up abruptly, packing your bag. 
“Look.” your voice wavered, but you were serious. “I’m not wasting my time with someone who—” You stopped mid-sentence. His eyes now full of guilt and acknowledgment. (in like 0.02 seconds)
“Sorry, my mom’s in the hospital.”
You wished you could take back all of your anger. “God Haechan, or Donghyuck. I’m so sorry, I’m not the most patient person in the world.” You attempted a smile. “Is everything okay? You don’t have to say anything if you don’t wan—.” You stopped again.
He began laughing and then smiling such a pure smile. (the duality??…)
“You can call me Haechan, and everything’s okay now.” He was like a whole different person
You were shocked at how like 0.02 seconds ago he was probably the most intimidating person you’ve ever known. But now he’s full of pure smiles and cute expressions. 
You began the lesson. He wasn’t great, but he had potential. And that was perfect for you. He attempted every question, and you felt like a proud mom watching him get the hang of it. His innocence didn’t last very long though.
In the middle of doing a question, he looked up, eyes gazing deeply into yours. His eyes changed, from purity to arrogance, which made you stop reading.
“So,” His eyes now bore into yours. All signs of innocence now gone. His mouth curled into a smirk. Like he knew something you didn’t. Which he did.
“What’s going on with Jeno?” He smiled wickedly. He leaned in closer. Whispering words that gently just brushed your ear. “Or perhaps Jaemin?”
_____________________________________
>> Next chapter out the 29th. <<  feedback is appreciated!
54 notes · View notes
premwareservices · 4 years
Link
Nowadays, the cameras on your android smartphone are getting better than earlier time. The inbuilt camera app on your android smartphone is probably good, but there is always a possibility for improvement. Android users have the flexibility to choose top camera apps, with features such as multiple shot modes, steady shot helpers, composition overlays, editing tools and post-processing special effects. Smartphone makers are paying more attention to make cameras more reliable, work better in night or low light, and add more features that their competitors are providing. Many of the smartphone buyers will base their buying decisions on the quality of the cameras. So, the point is that cameras whether it is primary cameras or secondary cameras, are important on smartphones these days.
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B612 -Free Selfie Camera, Photo Editor & Video App
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Create collages where you can see all your best moments in one place.
Cymera Camera – Photo Editor, Filter & Collage
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Cymera reached 300 million downloads for Android and iOS users in 2018.
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====== YouCam Perfect Core Features =======
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Sweet Snap is a powerful beauty plus camera and boomerang video maker, best photo editor with all photo editing features, free GIF maker app. It’s great for creating your own GIF emoji packages easily and taking fun boomerang videos that play on a loop. The draw tool can also help draw various drawing effects for your videos and photos.
With Sweet Snap, you can easily record videos, add music to video, add text on video, edit videos with the draw tool. The fast motion feature is super fun. Sweet Snap is also a free photo editor and beauty plus camera. You can snap perfect selfies & videos with ease and export it in high resolution, and share your photos & videos to Facebook, Instagram, Whatsapp, Twitter, Messenger, YouTube, Snapchat by one click, or edit video with music and pic for Tik Tok.
Candy Camera – selfie, beauty camera, photo editor
Details about this app:
Total Installs: 100,000,000+
Rating: 4.4
No of Reviews: 35,00,230
Google Play Store Link: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.joeware.android.gpulumera
Let’s take a selfie!
With Candy Camera’s beautifying filters and silent mode,
You can take beautiful selfies anywhere and anytime!
Don’t miss out on Candy Camera’s amazing filters –
1,000,000 people taking selfies with Candy Camera every day!
★ Filters for Selfies
A diverse range of filters, designed specifically for selfies –
Every Candy Camera filter will make your skin look amazing!
Swipe left and right to change between filters,
And find the perfect beautifying filter for a selfie!
Candy Camera’s filters are shown real-time while you take a selfie,
So you always look and feel beautiful with Candy Camera’s filters!
★ Beauty Functions
In addition to the filter camera, there are additional editing tools for the perfect selfie –
Slimming, whitening, concealer, lipstick, blush, eyeliner, mascara!
Edit or use make-up stickers to look beautiful in all your selfies.
Candy Camera is the ultimate beauty tool for selfies!
★ Stickers
Stickers for every season, occasion, and trend!
Decorate your selfie with Candy Camera’s huge sticker collection –
New stickers are being added to Candy Camera with every update!
You can find cute stickers for your selfies and artistic ones for your photography.
Each sticker can be easily resized and moved using multi-touch!
★ Silent Camera
Take silent selfies, snapshots, or photography anywhere you go!
Candy Camera’s silent mode can be used for any occasion –
Never be embarrassed to take a selfie, the camera is silent!
★ Collage
Take multiple photos for a collage!
Choose from many different grids and styles –
Taking selfies with Candy Camera’s collage mode,
You’ll feel like you’re in a photo booth with filters.
Have fun taking selfies with your friends!
VSCO: Photo & Video Editor
Details about this app:
Total Installs: 100,000,000+
Rating: 4.3
No of Reviews: 11,31,810
Google Play Store Link: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.vsco.cam
VSCO is a place where expression matters most. We offer creative photo and video editing tools, inspiration, and a place for you to be you.
Share your photos and videos with #VSCO for a chance to be curated by VSCO. We can’t wait to see what you create.
FREE PHOTO EDITOR
Take your photography to the next level with 10 free VSCO presets. Easily import and edit your RAW photos. Use editing tools like Contrast and Saturation to make your photos pop or use Grain and Fade to add texture and mimic analog film effects. Adjust or play around with your photo perspectives with Crop and Skew. Save and recreate your favorite edits with Recipes.
ADVANCED PHOTO EDITING TOOLS
Join VSCO Membership to access VSCO’s complete preset library with over 200+ presets. Recreate vintage film looks by Kodak, Fuji, Agfa, and others with Film X. Use advanced photo editing tools like HSL and Split Tone. Frame your images with a touch of color using Borders.
VIDEO EDITOR
Transform your videos on mobile with the same premium VSCO presets and advanced editing tools from our photo editor. Adjust white balance and experiment with color control with HSL.
VSCO MONTAGE
Tell a video story and make a moving collage by layering videos, images, and shapes. Celebrate moments, illustrate a mood, or experiment with photos and videos you already have in your Studio. Adjust the opacity of any media layered in to create an eclectic range of customized gel colors and double exposures.
CONNECT WITH A CREATIVE COMMUNITY
Explore inspiring photos, videos, and editorial in Discover. Find people you know and connect with friends already on VSCO. Try something new with weekly photo Challenges exclusive to your VSCO membership.
Adobe Lightroom – Photo Editor & Pro Camera
Details about this app:
Total Installs: 100,000,000+
Rating: 4.3
No of Reviews: 7,87,761
Google Play Store Link: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.adobe.lrmobile
Adobe Photoshop Lightroom is a free, powerful photo editor and camera app. It empowers you in your photography, helping you to capture and edit stunning images.
With easy-to-use image editing tools like sliders, or filters for pictures, photo editing is made simple. Retouch full-resolution photos, apply photo filters, or start photo editing wherever you are.
EDIT YOUR PHOTOS ANYWHERE
Transform raw photos with one of the world’s most intuitive photo editing apps. Simply tap and drag sliders to improve light and colour, apply photo filters for pictures, and more. Breathe life into your photo editing with these leading photography tools.
Retouch light and colours on photos to make them pop. Easy-to-use sliders give you control over your photos’ properties, even on a phone screen.
Crop and Rotate tools let you find the size and aspect ratio to best show off your camera work.
Create super clean shots with straight lines by adjusting the perspective of your image with powerful upright, guided upright, and Geometry slider tools. Experiment with Versions of photos to compare different edits without losing the original and pick your favorite look.
Access all your presets anywhere. Image edits on one device are automatically applied everywhere else.
EDIT DOWN TO THE DETAIL
The advanced picture editor helps you to finesse the details.
Take control of your image with selective adjustments. Remove almost anything from your photo with a touch of the Healing Brush. Local Hue Adjustments as part of selective edits mean you can even alter hue and saturation with precision to bring your photos to life.
Get inspired with interactive tutorials and learn how to use the photo editor to its full potential by completing step-by-step lessons curated by fellow photographers.
LIGHTROOM PRESETS SIMPLIFY PHOTO EDITING:
Achieve professional photo editing faster by using presets – filters for pictures with unlimited customization options. Presets make every step of photo editing visible so that you can learn to do it yourself.
Be an even more creative picture editor. Combine presets to recreate your favorite photo effects perfectly every time with just one click.
PRO-LEVEL CAMERA
Unique phone camera controls unlock your photography potential. Choose from exposure, timer, instant presets, raw and more. Enjoy more control over your photography on the go with capture modes such as Professional and HDR.
SMART ORGANIZATION FOR YOUR PHOTOS
Adobe Sensei harnesses the power of AI to tag and organise your photos based on the objects or people that are in them. A quick search for “mountains” or “Maria” will display all the relevant photos.
Use handy organizational tools like ratings and flags, so you can mark and group the photos you like best.
ADVANCED PHOTO SHARING
Group Albums allow you to invite others and collect everyone’s photos in one place. Share your creative process with other users in the Discover section of the app so they can see how you got from start to finish. Lightroom galleries showcase your photos online. Photo edits sync seamlessly, so any changes you make are always up-to-date.
WORRY-FREE ADOBE CREATIVE CLOUD STORAGE:
The Lightroom image editor is the best cloud-based service for photography lovers.
Retouch your full-resolution shots and have both originals and edits backed up to the cloud, ready to access anywhere.
Searchable keywords are automatically applied to help you sort photos without tagging them.
Source URL: https://premware.services/best-android-camera-app/
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lotstradamus · 6 years
Note
ok I must ask: what is your go-to current skincare/make-up routine? Your skin looks flawless in the last insta pics you posted (I know: filters, but still) help a gal out?
honestly you can thank flash for the most recent one because my chin, as per usual, is rebelling right now (I blame chocolate, but can I stop eating it? no I can the fuck not) buuuttt my skin has improved in leaps and bounds over the past year, so HERE IS WHERE I’M AT: 
morning
Kiehl’s Calendula Foaming Face Wash – sooooo gentle and nice. I used it first thing with tepid water to make me feel fresh and awake (lol, I never feel awake in the morning, who am I kidding) and make me all clean and ready for morning products. if I don’t use it in the morning I feel like an oily mess all day long. I recently recommended it to a friend and she text me to say it’s fixed her skin in two weeks! praises! singing! 
Glossier’s Solution – I didn’t like this when I first started using it because my skin went through a purging phase and I ended up with whiteheads in places where I NEVER get spots, but I decided to persevere with it (all the marketing says that it takes 4 weeks to reach maximum Greatness) and I am noticing a difference for the better! 
Lush’s Eau Roma Water – I like to spritz with this because it makes me feel all nice and damp. it’s super gentle and calming and soothing and I love it. refresh me!!!
Ascorbyl Glucoside Solution 12% from The Ordinary – this is basically just topical vitamin c - brightening and nice. 
La Roche-Posay’s Effaclar Duo on my nose and chin – this is an acne/pore unclogging treatment, which is helping work wonders on my nose and losing the fight with my chin. the chin will always win. 
Kiehl’s Ultra Facial Cream – I’ve been using this moisturiser for years now. you’d have to pay me to change. 
make-up
The Ordinary’s Serum Foundation in 1.0NS – THIS IS THE BEST FOUNDATION I HAVE EVER USED AND I WILL NEVER USE ANYTHING ELSE. it’s really, really light, so if you only need a light coverage it’s perfect, but it’s ALSO buildable, so if you don’t use concealer but need bits concealing (see: The Chin) it works really well! they also have a billion shades (THREE different ‘fair’ shades! all with different undertones!), it has a little SPF in it, and because it’s a serum foundation it swipes on so easily. AND THE BEST PART? IT COSTS LESS THAN £6. I AM OBSESSED.
Boy Brow by Glossier – speaking of obsessed, this is the best eyebrow product I have ever used. I’m sure there are a million dupes out there, but I’m still working through my lil tube so I’ll be singing it’s praises until I run out and have to replace it. I tint my eyebrows with an at-home kit because my eyebrows are literally white, but I use this every morning - it shapes them, holds them, and makes them a shade darker for a bit of oomph. and it’s so easy to apply - it’s basically just mascara for your eyebrows. no weird brushes and shades and powders and contouring. 
Lash Slick by Glossier – since I was 14 years old, I’ve been using Max Factor Masterpiece MAX mascara. it’s always on 3-for-2 at Boots, so my mum or auntie would buy three and give the other two to the other two of us. we’ve been loyal for over a decade. not that I haven’t tried other ones – I have. (most recently that one in the pink tube with the green lid, which was dreadful.) Lash Slick is the first new mascara I’ve tried that I haven’t immediately pawned off on someone else. it’s SO GOOD. it doesn’t smudge, it makes your eyelashes look longer, it doesn’t clump. my friend came to visit me recently and said, ‘Ooh, eyelashes freshly tinted?’ she couldn’t believe it was mascara. I mean! that’s what you WANT! 
assorted Glossier makeup – I only wear 3 Makeup makeup things on a day-to-day basis, but when I’m going out I LOVE putting on Glossier’s Lidstar in Moon (a creamy eyeshadow that you can literally apply with your finger and look amazing in, i.e. eyeshadow for useless dummies) and Haloscope in Moon (a creamy highlighter that you just swipe on and dab - again, highlighter for dummies). 
any dusky pink lipstick I can get my grubby little hands on. my fancy favourites are Charlotte Tilbury’s Pillow Talk and YSL Tatouage Couture in 07. my non-fancy favourites are NYX Matte Lip Cream in Cannes (third tube and counting) and The Body Shop Colour Crush Lipstick in a shade I can’t even remember because I’ve had the tube forever. 
night
Johnson’s Baby Lotion – gentlest makeup remover ever. and it works on mascara! my auntie has been using this and only this to remove her full (I mean full) face of makeup every night since she was 16 and she has the poreless, glassy skin of a Korean skincare Instagram guru. I hate her. 
Bioderma Sensibio Micellar Water to get rid of the residue – Baby Lotion is very thick so I like to get it off my face so I’m clean before I cleanse. it works like a nice toner while also destroying any leftover mascara. 
Bioré Deep Pore Charcoal Cleanser – THIS IS MY HOLY GRAIL PRODUCT. my biggest skin woe, other than my prone-to-spots chin, has always been the pores/sebaceous filaments on my nose. NOTHING ever “minimises” them, but this has actually reduced their appearance by half. literally the first time I used it I was pressing my nose against the mirror in shock. I will never ever stop using it ever. 
Lush’s Eau Roma Water – again, I’m a spritz addict. mmm moisture.
The Ordinary’s “Buffet” – I can’t make heads or tails of the site write-up on this, but Real Life People and thousands of internet people have sung its praises so I’m currently giving it a whirl. couldn’t tell you what the long-term benefits are just yet, but it definitely makes me look brighter and smoother. 
Kiehl’s Creamy Eye Treatment – I really don’t know if this does anything but it feels sooooo decadent. I love the ring-finger dab. 
Kiehl’s Ultra Facial Cream – it’s just the best. 
extras: 
COSRX Acne Pimple Master Patch – LISTEN. you know when a spot NEEDs to be popped? but then you pop it and you’re left with what is essentially an open wound on your face, which is all leaky and gross and then scabs over and fucks up your foundation coverage and takes ages to heal? NO MORE! wash your hands, pop your spot before bed, stick one of these bad boys over the top, and skip ahead to the The Scab Has Gone And It’s Healing Finally phase. I’m not joking. I’ve gone through a whole pack in under 3 months and I’ve reordered a second. 
Mask of Magnaminty by Lush – skincare people are really against putting mint on your face, but I will stand by this mask. I’ve been using it for years and I always come back to it when I feel like I need to be all purged and cleaned out and sorted. it’s super stimulating and purging but also really moisturising (and antibacterial). I always feel brighter after it. 
Avène Soothing Moisture Mask – when I want to lie down and listen to Sigur Rós and be moisturised and chilled this is what I bang on. you barely know you’re wearing it. 
I’m now running late for work because I sat here writing this instead of getting ready. I will have to skip at least 3 of these morning steps and go to work looking like a hag. c’est la vie. 
p.s. if you want to try anything from Glossier, here’s a link for 10% off. 
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waveridden · 6 years
Text
FIC: the neon limelight
The story behind Neoscum is like something out of a movie. (Or, a day in the life of a rock band. 3.5k, gen)
AUcember || read on Ao3
#
In the front of Xanadu, the infamous semi-truck-turned-tour-bus, there is a letterboard hanging precariously from the top of the cabin. It’s a smaller version of the kind that you’ll see outside movie theaters and churches, the kind that would light up if it were plugged in. This board isn’t plugged in, and it’s held in place with a combination of nails and duct tape. The message is changed once a week, by a different member every time. This week, the letterboard reads in mismatched letters, “BALLS 2 THA WALL TILL U FALL.”
The letterboard is one of the many personal touches in Neoscum’s infamous tour truck. There’s a futon bolted to the wall, a bunk bed, a crow’s nest-style hammock, and entirely white leather seats. There are also Polaroids taped to the wall, which bassist Pox tells me are mostly her work. There are five or six for every stop on their tour so far, and every stop on all of their tours. All in all, the four walls of Xanadu are cluttered.
This kind of clutter wouldn’t be a surprise to any Neoscum fans - at least, not any fans who have seen the band’s social media. “They know we’re dirty,” says Pox, with an exaggerated wink. “If they follow us on Instagram, they know we’re dirty.”
“They know we don’t always do laundry,” adds Zenith, the band’s drummer. “They know a lot about us. We don’t have a great concept of TMI.”
“Or just a low threshold,” Pox says. “We’re comfortable with people seeing our true selves. If that means posting pictures of Zenith’s dirty laundry on Snapchat, then that’s what that means today.”
The band’s social media presence is a lot like the interior of Xanadu: a little cryptic, a little eclectic, incomprehensible until you look closely enough to see the pattern. Six days before the release of their fourth album Neon Americana, a fan discovered that the fourth word in each installment of the band’s Snapchat story from the last month spelled out the tracklist. It’s not clear which of the band’s members masterminded this long con, and none of them own up when asked. It’s this kind of mystery that defines Neoscum: flawless execution, but for no clearly comprehensible reason.
“Of course there’s a reason,” Pox says, when I ask her about the Snapchat story. “It’s not about who did it, it’s not about the tracklist. It’s about having fun and making people pay attention. Haven’t you ever wanted someone to pay attention to you?”
#
 The story behind Neoscum is like something out of a movie. Lead singer Dak Rambo was making a name for himself with country music, but he was small-time at best. Squirt Purpler, more commonly known by his stage name of Tech Wizard, was playing the keyboards in a live band on a Chicago stand-up comedy showcase. The two of them met and started recording independent experimental music. Before long, they reunited with Rambo’s old friend Zenith, a drummer from the Seattle punk scene, and met Pox, a bassist and songwriter who was shadow-writing pop hits. With the addition of Max Epstein, a folk guitarist making waves online, Neoscum was complete.
The musical tastes of Neoscum, much like the rest of the band, work despite having every reason not to. “You can go to twelve different record stores, and they’ll all have us sorted differently,” says Purpler. “I think it’s great. We’ve got a little bit of everything, we’re all over the place. Who needs to only be one thing?”
Neoscum’s first album, Death Race, charted as a metal album, a rock album, and an indie album. Their second album, ratcandy, landed firmly on the pop charts, and their third album Time To Kill A Dragon was a country album. With the release of Neon Americana, Neoscum have cemented themselves as both everything and nothing: the album was a blend of techno, R&B, and every other genre that the band had ever worked with. The album is more than two hours long, and tells the story of a road trip from coast to coast. Tracks blend seamlessly from one genre to the next, creating the image of a chaotic, cohesive nation. It received universal acclaim after its release.
“The album was Pox’s idea,” Zenith says. Pox is the one foreign member of the band, a transplant from across the pond. She’s infamously secretive with her personal life; the closest anyone has found to a hint about who she used to be is an online demo of a song dedicated to someone named Pandora. “The first tour we did, the one after Dragon came out, was the first time she’d ever seen most of the country. It was completely new to her, and I think she was enchanted by it.”
Pox is not the group’s only songwriter, but she is the mastermind behind album concepts. The whole group credits her with the idea for Neon Americana. There are rumors that she had a meticulous journal, keeping notes about every city she stopped in; there are rumors that she wrote the entire album on the tour. Pox doesn’t confirm or deny any of them, either publicly or when asked. Instead, she insists that the album is a collaboration, a meeting of the minds.
The one thing she does take credit for is the idea behind the tour. “I saw all the big cities last time,” she explains, twirling a lollipop between her fingers. Xanadu is in the middle of Kansas, between tour stops, and Pox is dipping into her secret sugar stash. I have to close my eyes whenever she wants candy, because I’m not allowed to see where she keeps it. “We went to New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, all the places that everyone stops. And I wrote songs about them, we all wrote songs about them. But there’s only so much of a picture that the big cities paint. So when we started planning our second tour, I said that I wanted to see smaller towns. I want to go the places that nobody else goes.”
The tour, formally titled “The Small Town Neon Americana Neoscum Second Tour Extravaganza Party” and colloquially called “the second tour”, is entirely focused on small cities and small towns. There are no stops in New York, or in Los Angeles, or in Chicago. The biggest city that Neoscum is visiting will be Rochester, Minnesota. The venues are small, and the crowds are all enthusiastic. I’m joining them for two shows in Kansas, in towns that have never had big names perform before.
The band is all enthusiastic about the concept behind the tour, all for different reasons. “I never got to go to big concerts when I was a kid,” Purpler explains. “I lived just far enough outside of all the major cities that it was too far to drive for anything less than an emergency or a once-in-a-lifetime thing, so I never saw any bands growing up. It means a lot to me that we get to give some small town kids that performance.”
For other members, it’s less personal: Rambo says, “I like driving. Anything that gets us driving is good. Those real small town ones, the ones where the pavement hasn’t been touched since 1984 and the grass looks like it’s going to crack if you touch it? That’s the good shit, baby. We’re seeing a lot of those lately, and I am loving it. Everything’s tiny, it’s the way this country is supposed to be, you know? It’s just us and those kids who get to see a cool band.”
And for Epstein, the quietest of the band? “There’s less stage fright in a bar than in a stadium.”
#
 The band’s first stop is in Josephine, Kansas, and they immediately start in on a whirlwind series of pre-show rituals. Rambo drives Xanadu to the outskirts of the town, to a sign that says the town’s population, and they all pile out of the truck to take a five-man selfie next to the sign. Once they’re inside city limits, Zenith starts playing ABBA - not on the truck’s high quality sound system, but on his phone’s speaker. He doesn’t stop until they pull up outside their venue: an outdoor amphitheater for an afternoon show. Epstein recites a poem by Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Pox opens the door with her left hand and her eyes closed, and the band all take the amphitheater by storm.
They’re ruthlessly fast in their setup: Purpler talks to the venue coordinator while the rest of the crew makes sure everything is to their standards. Zenith and Epstein manage the band’s tech setup as Rambo and Pox manage the equipment. From start to finish, it takes them under thirty minutes to have everything in perfect shape.
“We don’t fuck around with these things,” Zenith says. He’s nearly as cryptic about where he came from as Pox is, but he at least has a traceable career. He has no last name to speak of, and he has never explained why he’s missing an eye. But he’s competent, both as a drummer and as the band’s self-proclaimed tech guy, and he has a reputation for being mysterious. “We’re here to do a show, we’re going to make sure it’s perfect. It’s not like it’s hard to be prepared, to get things done the way they’re supposed to be done.”
The amphitheater in Josephine is packed, not just with locals but from people in surrounding towns. There are teenagers and middle-aged men and elderly women, all sporting Neoscum merch. All of them are buzzing, talking about songs that they hope to hear and things that they hope to see. Neoscum is notoriously flashy with their concerts. It’s not unusual to see pyrotechnics, or costume changes, or people swapping instruments. One tour video, which went viral, showed Pox attempting to play Zenith’s drums with her feet in the middle of a show.
“We don’t plan anything for our actual shows,” Epstein tells me, five minutes before the curtains go up. “We have a set list, and we normally play all the same songs off of it, but if something seems unplanned, that’s because it probably is. None of us like playing by the rules, or doing things the same way every time. Not even me.”
Epstein is known for being the most relaxed of the band’s members. He’s the least likely to try and haggle with grocery store clerks (as Pox has done), share obscure knowledge of advanced physics (Zenith), get stuck on top of a telephone pole after a dare (Purpler), or win a blackjack jackpot (Rambo, Epstein’s maternal uncle). He’s the least spotlight-happy of all of them.
He’s also the most forthcoming about his personal life. Epstein graduated in the top quarter of his high school last and joined Neoscum not long afterwards. He has a sister, seven years younger, who recently received a kidney transplant. He says that his biggest inspirations are Bob Dylan and Yo-Yo Ma, and his uncle Dak. He’s the most likely of the band to be singing, humming, or playing his instrument in his spare time. He’s the mediator of debates and the filmer of shenanigans. He has a prosthetic left arm and right leg, and he refuses to let anyone call him “the disabled one” in the band.
Epstein says that his reputation as “the boring one” doesn’t bother him; if anything, it’s a relief. “Those guys are my family,” he says, echoing a sentiment that the whole band has shared at one point or another. “But they’re all kind of fucking crazy. I don’t want to be in the news for even the less weird things that they do. Except for that time Z got to be in the news for knowing thermonuclear physics, that was pretty cool.”
Sixty seconds before the curtains go up, Rambo goes around the band. He gives Pox a warm hug, Epstein a kiss on the left cheek, Zenith a kiss on the forehead, and Purpler a kiss on the right cheek. He looks at me and winks, and says something I can’t quite make out over the cheering crowd outside. I’ve only known Rambo for two hours, but I already understand the charismatic rock star allure that everyone claims he has. He seems more at ease on stage than he does off, and when the curtains rise, he shouts, “What the fuck is up, Kansas?”
Kansas lets him know what the fuck is up. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen a man not even remotely cowed by thousands of people screaming at him.
#
 There is a list of rules in Xanadu, taped up next to the letterboard. “It’s for you,” Purpler explained, not long after I boarded the truck. “And for everyone who visits us, but it’s mostly for you right now.”
The rules are simple. Feet on seats are fine, but shoes on seats are not. Dropping food is okay as long as you clean it up. You never challenge someone to a fight if you wouldn’t actually fight them. You don’t talk about Lil Marco - the band’s nickname for the producer Big Marco who attempted to sue them after the release of Deathrace. You don’t say the word “Grammy,” because it’s a jinx, and nobody needs a Grammy anyways.
The list contains nearly forty rules, and I’m sworn to privacy about most of them. “Nobody needs to know the way we do things,” Rambo says. “Not really, you know? Fans get weird. Gotta keep some things a mystery.”
The last rule on the list is don’t say shit about other people’s shit in interviews. It’s obvious where the rule came from. On the drive from Josephine to Troy, I ask Rambo about the rule, and his lips thin. Rambo is a friendly, jovial man: before he was a rock star, he was a trucker, a country singer, and an unabashed sex worker. But there’s no humor on his face as he thinks through his response. “It was fucked that TMZ did what they did,” he says. “People are entitled to have secret personal histories if they want them. I don’t care that Morrows was up for reelection in Colorado, and I don’t care that they thought it would be okay. Digging up people’s stuff is - it makes it easy to forget that we’re people too. But we’re people too.”
Rambo is, of course, referring to a now-infamous exposé that TMZ published, revealing a link between Purpler and incumbent Colorado governor Fayglin Morrows. The connections aren’t especially clear, but it’s obvious that Morrows was a family friend to Purpler’s parents, who were killed in a hate crime when Purpler was four. The entire band followed their newest rule to a T, and none of them publicly discussed the article or the incident, including Purpler. Morrows went on to win reelection in Colorado, although the race was subject to a recount.
“It was hard for all of us,” says Zenith, “and by that I mean it was mostly hard for Tech, so we were all pissed. We were trying to keep him out of the limelight, trying to let him keep his past to himself.”
“I don’t think it matters where any of us are from,” says Purpler, in his only interjection into the conversation. “I know what I need to know about everything, and nobody else needs to know anything. We all know where the band’s politics stand, and we share the personal stuff that we want to.”
Neoscum is full of outspoken socialists: Epstein in particular has been vocally critical of healthcare reform policies, and the band has made a name for themselves by participating in protest marches. And nobody has to look any further than the band’s social media to see their openness about their personal life. But the band is firm when they put down boundaries. TMZ never issued an apology to Purpler, despite the influx of fan petitions and demands for one; the fans still stood by Purpler in his wish for privacy. He later thanked them for their support in a public statement, marking the first and only real time he addressed the TMZ article directly.
It’s clear from early on that the band’s “don’t say shit” rule applies while talking to me. Zenith and Pox almost form a protective barrier around Purpler with their bodies, and even Epstein comes down from his perch in the crow’s nest to watch me. They’re defensive of one another, and as soon as the conversation moves on, everyone relaxes. It’s hard to say if they do it intentionally or subconsciously, but the meaning is clear either way: they have each other’s backs, at all times.
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 The pre-show rituals in Troy go the same as the rituals in Josephine. This performance is the same evening, at a bar called the Electric Cowboy Lasso-Swingin’ Doogie-Wrasslin’ Party Zone Gambling Hall and Microbrewery. Rambo seems to know everyone there, from the bartender to the regulars. “That’s just Dak,” Purpler says. “He’s always like this. He has friends everywhere.”
At the Josephine concert, Purpler and Zenith switched instruments for two songs. At the Troy concert, everyone stays where they’re supposed to until the second-to-last song, when Pox takes Max’s acoustic guitar and sits in the center of the stage to sing an acoustic ballad. It’s not a good fit for the trucker bar, but they’re all rapt and silent as she sings, and a fan’s video of the performance went viral the following day. (Eagle-eyed fans noticed that this was the song that she dedicated to the mysterious Pandora, but Pox hasn’t commented, and neither has the rest of the band.)
The most interesting part of the show comes afterwards. Strike happens in a neat fifteen-minute timeframe, and then the band is in the bar, drinking and laughing with the rest of the patrons. They’re patient and friendly with autographs and selfies, but before long, the fans clear out of the bar and leave only regular patrons. Rambo is introducing people by name to the band members, and before long they’re all piled into a corner booth, talking over each other. They eat food off of each other’s plates and poke each other and finish each other’s sentences. It lasts for several rounds and a couple of hours. “Family dinner,” Zenith calls it at one point, and it’s exactly that.
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 Rambo insists on dropping me back off at my office in Lawrence, even though I’ll get there in the wee hours of the night. He doesn’t seem at all bothered by staying up all night driving. The band goes to sleep in what seem to be normal places for them: Epstein in his crow’s nest, Pox in the passenger’s seat, Tech on the bottom bunk, Zenith on the futon. Only Rambo stays awake, and he answers my questions quietly, like his voice will wake them over the noise of the truck on the road.
“It’s impossible to describe what these people mean to me,” he says, in a candid moment. “You know, this job, it’s changed all of our lives. I’m never going to have to worry about where I’m going to stay the night again. Max, he got his sister’s operation paid for. Pox and Z and Tech, they all have opportunities to figure things out that they couldn’t have had two or three years ago. And we’re paying that forward. We’re doing these shows in little towns, it’s fucking great. Have you ever been to a small town? Some of them are awful, but some of them are just full of people who wanna be happy. And we make them happy.”
We reach Wichita at four in the morning. Rambo lets me out the back gate of the truck and tells me I’m always welcome back, as long as I’m not a dick to his people. For the next three days, I receive random texts from him: pictures of the band, videos from venues, and misspelled rough drafts of tweets that he wants me to correct. They taper off, and I’m left following along with the band through the news and through Twitter, just like the rest of the world.
My single day with Xanadu feels like a dream, an illusion of Polaroids and jokes that I only half-remember. I can’t help but wonder if that was intentional. I caught a glimpse of Neoscum as people, a fleeting glimpse that falls second to the truth that they project to the rest of the world. And then I, like the rest of the world, am paying attention to them. Just like they want me to.
Argus Armstrongman is an independent contributor to Lone Star Publications. You can follow him on Twitter @argus_asm or read more of his contributions here.
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