#and obvs everyone was flaming them in the comments and they even said 'no i believe i cant be abused at all' HELLO?

[dragoncarrion]

is anyone else kind of tired of those instagram artists that use reels as a personal diary. like who gives a fuck. journal or something instead just get out of my sight

[grumpyoldsnake]

Liveblog: Sword of Destiny by Andrzej Sapkowski

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Context: I caught bits and pieces of several scattered episodes of the Netflix Witcher series while at my parent’s place, and have had my curiosity piqued! I’ve already read The Last Wish since then; you can find my thoughts here.

Further context: I don’t actually know anything about storytelling techniques. High school English classes were a long time ago, hah. But… I am currently actively trying to learn via observation. So! A lot of my comments are going to be on that topic: what I’m seeing, why I think it’s been done that way, how well I think it’s working, etc

Disclaimer: Names might be misspelled, and most quotes will be paraphrased. I’m reading via audiobook at work. That said… there should be a bit more cohesion this time, since I’ve decided to actively comment as I go rather than dump all the thoughts I’ve had after already getting 2/3rds of the way through the book, hah.

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The Bounds of Reason

 Getting a bit more insight into how Geralt generally expects to be treated (badly) and how he responds to a random friendly overture (positively), which is neat!

 Sapkowski continues to write about women in ways that make me wince. Is it the end of the world? No. Is it rife within fiction? Yes. Do I have to appreciate it? Also no. Am I going to largely ignore it because it isn't a conversation I'm interested in carrying, and has been carried out much better by other folk? Also yes.

 Oh hey! This is a storyline from an episode that I did catch snatches of. Wasn’t paying the closest attention though, not sure how well I followed the plot. The one guy is the gold dragon, and Yennefer wants her own biological baby? And everyone is very upset and argumentative at the end.

 Good grief, what the hell did Geralt do to Yennefer? They seemed to be on genuinely positive terms at the end of The Last Wish, even if in the framing narrative (Voice of Reason) it was pretty clear they weren’t anymore… guess I was just expecting to see the cause of the falling out more directly than this?

 Unless I genuinely did just miss it because it was a sentence or two of “and after they were very sweet and Yennefer claimed to be touched, Geralt snuck off in the night without a word,” in which case. Mm. Well. There are drawbacks to reading via audiobook while at work, and brief lapses of attention when something that major is written that briefly is one of the biggest. :’)

 If that is it, then good grief their positive interactions did not last long. 😂

 Anyway!

 …oh okay yeah we’re still somewhat touching on the theme of Geralt’s social life and the lack thereof.

 Geralt’s here like ‘yeah half of them don’t like me, but at least they interact with me normally about it, so yes, I’m sticking around’ and that’s just. Oof. :(

 Let’s see… Nenneke, Jaskier, those are both positive relationships, even if Nenneke fusses and annoys Geralt. He seemed pretty friendly with the Alderman in Blaviken but, well, that went down in flames. He calls Vesemir his father. He may or may not have kept in touch with that Not!Beauty and the Beast guy. Yennefer is complicated. That’s… about all we know of, so far?

 And look, having only a few friendships isn’t necessarily a bad thing when those relationships are strong.

 But it is pretty rough when nearly every other interaction in your life is fraught with tension and when you don’t so much as see those friends for semi-long stretches of time. :/

 And then obvs. the hostility of the world is upsetting in its own right as well

 Holy fuck. Uh. Yennefer does definitely have opinions about childbearing, doesn’t she. >_>; Ma’am you are… a bit tangled up inside.

 I still… hm. I still don’t always quite follow Geralt’s reasoning, I’ll be perfectly honest. And not in the ‘why do you feel like this’ way that I grumbled about with Yennefer, that’s a perfectly common experience for me, but a rather more literal ‘genuinely what the fuck is motivating this I haven’t the faintest idea.’

 Not sure if it’s a reading comprehension issue on my part… maybe I’ve just gotten too used to books that are a little more inside their POV character’s head?

 Or it could be a translation issue with some nuances lost.

 Or it could genuinely be an issue with & shortcoming of the writing. Idk.

Anyway in this case… why in the world was Geralt gearing up to go fight the dragon?

 He’s spent the entire past book and the beginning of this book insisting that he doesn’t hunt dragons. He turned Yennefer down. Even if he hadn’t, he vaguely agreed with Dandelion’s request to try not to kill the dragon, so… that’s not going to get Yennefer what she wants? What is he hoping to accomplish?

 Seriously I am lost. He says it’s because there are “limits to the possibilities I will accept” (murdered that paraphrasing but listen you know what I mean) and I’m just. What the fuck is that supposed to mean in this context???

 Truly if any of you have thoughts I would be happy to hear them, hah

 …ah. Well. That degenerated quickly 😂

 Dandelion is an ass

 …baby dragon is adorable <3

 …Yennefer has both decided against dragon slaughter after all, and somewhat forgiven Geralt, and I don’t know the cause for either change of heart :’D

 Well okay no she did seem touched by baby dragon. That bit makes sense. Still not sure abt Geralt though.

 Much friendlier parting terms than I expected! That must have been a plotline invented for the show, or at least accelerated and included earlier than it might otherwise have been.

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…wow okay I’m a lot more longwinded this way. Maybe I’ll. Uh. Split this book up by arc. 😂

Next part to be posted whenever I find the time!

[kenjikutie]

Haikyuu Sunday, haikyuu Sunday ✨✨ Alright sooo, how about: something like, the reader is watching ushijima, tendou, goshiki and bokuto practice and make an audible comment about how they like the guys muscles and OBV the guys have a crush on reader cuz I'm into that fluff mood ♥️♥️

yay! these are some of my favorite boys in the show, so this is great!

Their Crush Compliments Them 

Ushijima

- you were a manager for shiritorizawa, which left you with a bunch of responsibilities but, this was one of the rare times that you got to take a break. the boys were practicing while you were taking a quick snack but eventually, your eyes wandered to the most recognizable player on the team

- ushijima wakatoshi was a powerhouse of a man and holy wow was he good looking, but, you were pretty sure he already knew that. however, when he went in for a spike and you were able to see his defined biceps and back muscles you can’t stop yourself

- “jesus, it’s like he was sculpted by god.”, you whispered after the practice match was over but, you hadn’t noticed ushijima standing right beside you, waiting to ask where you’d put his water bottle

- to anyone else, it would have looked like he hadn’t heard you or that he just didn’t care but if you looked closely, you would have seen the pink that tinted his nose. when you turned around, your face drained of color but he didn’t say anything about it so you assumed he just hadn’t heard you

- but, as you were about to go to bed that night, you received a text on your phone that made your cheeks light up and your mouth break into a wide grin

- thank you, (y/n). you are very lovely as well

Tendou

- you had arrived at his practice so that the two of you could walk home together but had shown up a few minutes early. tendou was still practicing with a few other players and didn’t seem to notice as you set down on the bench to wait for him. tendou did notice you and now he was super hyped. 

- tendou had always been unsure about his looks due to his childhood but he knew that he was a good volleyball player and hoped you knew it too. so, when he went up to block, he made sure to flex a little more than usual and it definitely got your attention

- “holy crap, tendou! that was really hot!”, you covered your mouth immediately and felt your face become as red as tendou’s hair

- he let out a loud squeal and pointed to you from his spot on the court, “you’re right, it was really hot, (y/n)-chan, thank you for noticing!”

- on your walk home, you didn’t look at tendou once but he kept his arm around you, poking your cheek to annoy you and pressing the question. did you mean it? he really liked being told he was attractive and he would have to flex more often

Goshiki

- goshiki wanted to defeat the ace of shiritorizawa, that much was known to everyone. another known fact was that he also got a bit too excited all the time about literally anything. so, to have his manager compliment his looks and muscles nearly made him burst into flames

- he wanted to do everything to the best he could so he also went in on every move he made. unknown to him, you’d noticed his enthusiasm too and when he finally took a break, you decided to have a talk with him

- “you don’t need to push yourself so much, goshiki-kun. you’re already really buff, you’ll beat ushijima-kun in no time.”, you hadn’t given a thought to what you said and walked away to hand someone their water battle but goshiki was shaking

- tendou and semi had totally heard the conversation. tendou was batting his eyelashes and mimicking your voice, oh goshi-kun, you’re so handsome. goshiki was bright red but his heart was light because oh my gosh you thought he was buff

Bokuto

- so, he’s literally a seven-year-old boy; it’s no secret. when he hears you compliment him, all bets are off. forget practice, forget the ball that’s about to hit him in the head, you. just. complimented. his. back. muscles

- you were standing right behind bokuto on your way inside the gym and just couldn’t take your eyes off of how defined his back was. (i will never forget how the robbed him in the anime). you thought you had been quiet

- “woah.”, you whispered and immediately, bokuto spun around

- “what, what, what? what is it (y-n)-chan, hmmm?”, he got closer to your face with a large smile on his face and his eyebrows nearly reaching his hairline, not even minding how you began to stutter with warm cheeks

- “she likes your muscles, idiot.”, akaashi deadpanned, ignoring your betrayed gasp and bokuto’s squeal of excitement

- “hey, hey, hey!”, he cheered and lifted you off the ground in excitement, “my muscles are really great, aren’t they, (y/n)-chan!”

[bittybattybunny]

I need more fluff before angst steals the show!!! Of all the food Hattie's shared with him, what is Snatcher's favorite? Do Snatcher and Hattie ever swim together? Has Hattie cried in front of Snatcher (and how did he respond)? Does Hattie enlist Snatcher's help to build the BIGGEST, most impressive sandcastles? Thank you for all the wonderful content for this AU, I'm LOVING IT

Oh don’t worry! It actually takes a bit before we even hit the angst in the au! I just like teasing about it because I’m living for the reactions. The fic is actually like 70% fluff with 25% angst and 5% suffering. There’s just some BIG angst moments that will hit. So don’t worry much when i’m being a lil gremlin with the angst! I just like writing it. (gods if you want angst you should hear what I’ve done to my oc Kai. Poor girl doesn't catch a break)

I just find a bit of angst makes the fluff sweeter.

also im gonna be wordy so---

okay in order!!!

Snatcher’s favorite so far has been the spicy chips she brought him! He loves spicy foods that burn his mouth to hell and back because he’s never got to experience that in the ocean eating raw kill, nor as a prince because they worried for his health (his guard would sneak him snacks sometimes; and even taught him to cook) when he becomes human; she introduces him to hot sauce and he never goes back. Poor Eclipse hates spicy food and he keeps cooking it and its suffering. He adores spicy hot Doritos and flaming hot Cheetos.

Yes all the time! Hattie loves swimming with him as he will let her rest on him when she gets tired. he also takes her to places most people cant get to because the sharks and such prevent entry! He scares sharks away just by swimming near them so he’s the best safety! He helps her find lots of cool seashells and such and even cleans them out if they have something living in it still! He even eventually helps her mother get used to the water so all three of them go swimming! (well, Hattie will swim with Snatcher, Eclipse kinda just, hangs onto him afraid of sinking.)

She has! A few times. Actually I was just writing a scene with her crying with him but that relates to a big angst so I won’t share that.

But she’s cried from falling on the dock, he freaked out and had to check her over. He did his best to wipe her tears however he was covered in salt water and made it worse. She wound up laughing in the end from his frantic attempts to comfort. She’s also cried when she was lonely as her mother had to stay at the doctor’s longer than normal and he wrapped around her until she fell asleep. When he’s able to be human again, she’s cried during thunderstorms, and he lets her curl up with him. This isn’t for a number of chapters still obvs since it’s human snatcher but have some dadtcher:

   “I already did!” She beamed, running over in game to show him. Her mother’s blue and grey house was surrounded by black roses. “I put black ones for now. But I really want to get blue roses someday.” She grinned ear to ear, gasping and dropping her controller as the lights went out with lightning. She crawled into the poor man’s lap pulling the blanket close.

    “It’s just a storm.” He said but, he kept his voice low and wrapped his arms around her pulling her close, “It will pass. You’re mom will come home, we’ll all go for a swim or something.” 

    “Can i just. Stay here for a little bit?” She whimpered as she clung to his shirt. She buried her head under his chin, tears on her eyes, “Please, snatcher?”

    He sighed, “Well, Clearly I’m not throwing you outside.” He got up, holding her, “God, how does your mother swing you around without breaking a sweat all the time?” He groaned. Carrying her to the kitchen, “Does Eclipse keep candles around?”

    Hattie shook her head from in the blanket, holding fast, “Mom doesn’t like fire.”

    He stared at her, “She doesn’t like fire. She hates water. Does your mother like anything other than you and raw meat?” He sighed, “Then is there some.. Other power lights? Something without the main lights?” 

    “I think we have flashlights in the closet.” She recalled, “But mom keeps them with her work gear mostly.”

    Giving a curt nod, he made way to the closet setting her down so he could rummage. Ropes. Climbing Gear. Shovels. Was that tnt? He stopped and turned to the blanket claude girl squinting, “Kid I didn’t ask because it’s never been on my head. What. DOES your mother do exactly?”

    She clung to him as thunder snapped and shook her head, “Mom’s a dog trainer!” She beamed through her tears, “She helps train service dogs and police dogs!” She grinned.

    He held up the, what he assumed was an explosive casing, “You don’t need a bomb for a dog. I don’t think?” He paused, he wasn’t even sure. He never trained a dog. They didn’t even really do that when he was a human. Well hunting dogs. But that was a family thing.

    “It could be stuff from when she and Grampa DJ go out.” She thought on it, she had the blanket half over Snatcher as he felt through the closet, “They go off on adventures and come back all dirty, but I like when they do, because mom won’t have to work for a long time and I can hang out with her! Sometimes she brings me cool stuff.” 

    “That so?” they must be doing something dangerous, feeling in the dark he looked to the child, “So what’s a flashlight look like?”

    “It’s the little thing I keep on my shoulder when I’m diving.” She stated.

    “Got it.” He felt around finding it and handing it to her, “Okay do the magic.”

    Taking the flashlight she clicked it on right into his eyes, illuminating the gold colors. He hissed, revealing his fangs and covered his face with his hands, “KID!” He growled.

    “Sorry!” she aimed it away and used a hand to hold his shirt, “Can we go back to the couch…”

    Rubbing his poor eyes, he got up holding her hand. Walking past the dead tv, he grabbed her switch from the dock, and picked up her discarded controller.He set them on the side table before grabbing her and falling back on the couch with her on his lap.

“I’m playing now.” He stated, putting the controllers on the main console. He set off on the island, to mainly fix Hattie’s flower power.

She rested against his chest, holding the light so it was aimed at the ceiling bouncing it off the white walls, “I worked hard.” The rain pittered outside as her voice trailed off. Soon enough as he kept one arm around her, the other focused on the game, she fell asleep. He sighed and pulled the blanket over her more. he gave her head a light kiss as he held her close. Thunder rolling outside.

It’s more like she builds the biggest impressive sand castles on him. he’ll just be napping on the beach and she’ll start piling sand on his chest and then he’s stuck there because he doesn’t want to ruin her hard work!

Ahhh thank you!!!! I’m really enjoying creating the content!!!! It’s been a while since i actually had this much fun just. doing this kinda thing. I don’t think I’ve really been this excited and worked up since gods i think when i first create Bells and Whistles (it used to be a fancomic for Summer wars, but I wound up pulling it away and it’s all it’s own standalone. I’m planning to tackle that after I finish Little Contractor and The Moon Guardian and the Lost Prince)

Like seriously this had been keeping me sane while I try not to panic at work everyday. Gotta love being super prone to panic attacks...

But it’s been a blast, plus I’m able to do something I love that I’m not super confident in! (I’m pretty shy about my writing; but everyone's been so nice and it’s uplifting and makes me want to write more)

Also it’s like really good for me art wise. I’ve gotten way better at posing and hands and such with all the sketches I do (plus the comic I’m doing for Eclipse and Snatcher) it’s so much fun!!!

Also i love reading comments and tags.

Yes im reading every tag you guys add. all of them.

Sorry i got a little wordy--! :’3c

[lansizhuis]

WEILAN FIC REC

It's as the title says - the five times Shen Wei did a horny grip™ because let it be known that while Zhao Yunlan is explicitly shamelessly thirsty, Shen Wei is equally as thirsty but in a more lowkey manner. Oh, and of course, WeiLan as lesbians can't be passed up for this.(gift fic for taki who introduced the weilan lesbian agenda to me!)Hello! I finally had some time (spoiler: I actually didn’t but I can always have time for my dads) to properly make a compilation of WeiLan fanfic recommendations. I included some CN ones bc I absolutely love them to bits and pieces and some WeiLan derivatives bc why not. 

Please click the kudos and leave a comment on the authors’ works to thank them and show your appreciation! <3 This will be updated periodically.

bc I’m shameless - imma shove my own weilan fics here

Title: Uhaw Summary: Shen Wei felt a smile on his face despite the seriousness of the situation. “Your loyalty will forever remain divided.” // “My loyalty is with you.” Zhao Yunlan declared. “Always has been, always will be.” [WEILAN MAFIA/GANGSTER AU 1/1] Notes: i was horny for weilan being horny for each other and being a power couple with some plot thrown in the mix im not sorry

Title: Devour Your God Summary: "The beast inside him howls and the inhumane thunderous chanting resounds in the beautiful ghost king. You remember don’t you? The more beautiful the ghost...the more terrifying."

[a look through shen wei's eyes as he goes through kunlun's multiple reincarnations until zhao yunlan; novel-compliant and shen san extra hints but should be spoiler free 1/1] Notes: sometimes we’re also sad in our weilan lives but do know they get their happy ending anyway

Title: Earlier On Summary: Zhao Yunlan starts remembering his life as Kunlun months after he first entered the world and his only clue resides on that creature (because his adult brain is now telling his baby brain that that wasn't a human) robed in white with a golden mask peering down on his crib. Notes: [novel-verse gift fic for orro AKA babey zhao yunlan having adult brain/memories who’s everyone’s source of headache]

Title: Five Times Shen Wei Did A Horny Grip Summary: It's as the title says - the five times Shen Wei did a horny grip™ because let it be known that while Zhao Yunlan is explicitly shamelessly thirsty, Shen Wei is equally as thirsty but in a more lowkey manner. Oh, and of course, WeiLan as lesbians can't be passed up for this. Notes: (gift fic for taki who introduced the weilan lesbian agenda to me!)

Title: Some Things Stay The Same and Some Don't  Summary: “Xiao Wei,” Zhao Yunlan called in a serious voice making Shen Wei stiffen in attention, “Your boobs are actually big, aren’t they?” Shen Wei almost slipped from her position at the unexpected - or well, this is Zhao Yunlan so perhaps ‘expected’ should be the term - comment. “Yunlan, honestly!” “No really, it’s bigger than mine.” “Everyone’s bigger than your tiny mangoes, stupid owner.” Da Qing laughed from the kitchen. “I think even Lin Jing and Lao Chu have bigger ones compared to you.” Notes: lesbian!weilans part 2 for emmy featuring the primordial gods, shen wei + mama zhao interaction, and kunlun taking in 2 ghost queens instead of just one

Title: Repercussions of Meddling Summary: “You know what the diviner’s instructions were, right? Gather the hallows and let fate run its course or else there can be dire consequences.” Zhao Yunlan clenched his fist as he recalls Shen Wei’s hardships paralleled with Ye Zun’s loss of sanity, the ghost lovers’ fate in an effort to protect him, the brewing war as the vision the hallows have given him on their deaths, and an ever burning flame on his soul as he watched Shen Wei disappear stay clear.“There can’t be anything more dire than that future.” The two leaders looked at each other meaningfully. “And if the bulk of the repercussions on you twisting the timeline falls on you?” Zhao Yunlan huffed in amusement and flipped his long hair to his back. “If I'm the one who has to pay then so be it.” Notes: aka ye zun is a bad influence to shen wei and add that in for 10,000 years where they're both awake, alive, and together waiting for a certain someone's reappearance in their lives --- THIS CAN GET DARK; drama canon divergence au where zhao yunlan as kunlun ends up saving ye zun in the past and meddling with time 

Title: A Path Back Home Summary: The Dixing kingdom's delegation set off for a peace treaty with the kingdom of Haixing as new tides of the world was coming. For some, this was a turning point for the three kingdoms. For Ye Zun and his father, this was a chance to bring back their two other family members home with them. The past retains its stories and secrets, the present shakes the foundations of everyone's belief, and the future is a path back home. (read a/n before reading!) Notes: weilan royalty a/b/o au aka the most self-indulgent fic (it wasn’t supposed to be multi-chap but brain said ‘world building’ and now i suffer)

Title: where everything converges Summary: collection for weilan week prompts - day 1: beginnings (SID+SW meets the youngest primordial god) day 3: au (tgcf au of god!ZYL and ghost king!SW) day 7: anniversary (there will come a day where SW wakes up to the 5,000 years and 1 day of being with ZYL)

Title: in all worlds and in all timelines Summary: collection of weilan prompts (do send some and i’ll see if i can write it!)

Title: The Power of Words Summary: “You have lived for as long as I have and so you must know that words have power. The likes of old sayings and proverbs hold a decree to them the longer it’s passed around from one breathing soul to another. They become entities and binding spells on their own through time.”

“What has that got to do with anything right now? Ghost Slayer, you are already treading a dangerous path with the choices you have made the past months. Do I still need to remind you of this?” the spirit asked.

The black robed creature acted as if he didn’t hear his companion and spoke once more. “I suppose it doesn’t matter right as of this moment,” he crossed his legs and continued, “Let me tell you a story; a secret.” Notes: it was supposed to be a oneshot but my need for novel shen wei characterization bled through so now it’s a 3shot *sigh* 

***

Title:  狗在江湖 Notes: this is a mix of novel and drama elements AND it’s a/b/o AND it has 30 chapters so obv i cried

Title: Sweet Dreams Summary:  朱白ABO，架空末世微悬疑。 Notes: okay so it was weird for me at first bc they were using zhubai’s names until i realized they were pertaining to weilan derivative in general AND OKAY LISTEN - the plot??? THE PLOT??? GLORIOUS

Title: 我说所有的酒都不如你 Summary: 这大概是一个东江二哈狼和东江气死猫你追我跑你继续追我假装跑你拼命追我跑不动了的爱情故事（。 Notes: 2Luo aka Luo Fusheng x Luo Fei weilan derivative and this is legit my favorite derivative fic!!! they mixed both dramas and fed me sentinel + guide trope AND THEN WOW PLOT

***

Title:  Black Cloak Reversed Summary:  Chief Zhao is a little too friendly with the Black-Cloaked Envoy. The members of the SID worry that he's being emotionally disloyal to Professor Shen. Notes: drama; zhao yunlan is a filthy, thirsty man and SID mourns over this fact

Title:  my heart broke loose on the wind Summary:  If Yunlan is going to learn how to make actual food that requires more effort than just boiling water and putting hot water into stuff, he’s going to have to take all the notes. “Right,” he says to himself. “How hard can it be?” He watches all twenty-two minutes and fourteen seconds of Chef Shen's video without fast-forwarding. When it comes to an end, he clicks on the replay button. He ends up taking zero notes, and the only thing he manages to learn from the whole exercise is that Chef Shen -Shen Wei- is really fucking beautiful when he smiles. Notes: au; alternative summary - ye zun: how thirsty are you for my bro zhao yunlan: thirsty? pls im a paragon of all things holy, i am a kind and generous citizen of the world, i am - ye zun: i can help you get in his pants  zhao yunlan: - thirsty af; i am very thirsty 

Title:  when we reunite, the world will tilt on its axis Summary:  Zhao Yunlan tries to figure out how he should approach the matter of young Shen Wei. Notes: drama; babey!shen wei who's so earnest and genuinely in-love ahhh im soft

Title:  Wild Thing, Stop Your Teasing Summary: Shen Wei’s eyelid twitch as Yunlan unwraps another lollipop, closes his spit-shiny lips around the spherical head while looking at Shen Wei under dark eyes and thick lashes. Fists clenched on his pant leg, Shen Wei swallows and tamps down the urge to grab Yunlan across the table. Notes: drama; when you think zhao yunlan's thirst has a limit - he goes an open his mouth but hey shen wei's head over heels thousands of years ago already anyway

Title:  Tease the Wild Thing Summary: Yunlan's POV from shaenanigans' awesome fic ''Wild Thing, Stop your Teasing''. Yeah, it's the one with the lollipops, and the porn with feels. You know. The Good Stuff. Notes: more weilan smut after the one above?? SIGN ME TF UP

Title:  without complexities or pride Summary:  “Kunlun Hall’s rules do not apply to you,” Yunlan says simply, moving to steep some tea for Shen Wei. “You are the Black Cloak Envoy. Lord Kunlun holds you in high regard.” “And you hold him in high regard,” Shen Wei adds before he’s able to stop himself. Shen Wei can hear the wretched jealousy in his own voice, and no doubt Yunlan can as well, because Yunlan’s smile turns sly, and his eyes are very knowing when he says, “In a way, I suppose I do.” Notes: (Or, the Not-Exactly-A-Courtesan!Yunlan fic.) >> im crying bc YES

Title:  Every ridge hand-picked by the late sun’s slant light Summary:  Zhao Yunlan gets up to greet this man, his destiny – who is currently scowling behind his fancy embroidered mask – and smiles as filthily as he can make it. Whatever else they might be to each other, Shen Wei has been taunting him for weeks. Zhao Yunlan is going to take him home and fuck him until he cries and he wants Shen Wei to know that. “Long time, no see,” he says. The Black Cloaked Envoy blanches. Notes: when i say i thirst for weilan papapa where shen wei loses his self control - I MEAN IT

Title:  that's where you belong Summary:  First of all, how dare Shen Wei. Second of all, Zhao Yunlan has been looking forward to this for like, as long as he's been aware that Shen Wei is an alpha. Third of all -- Notes: im crying bc all i ever wanted was for novel weilan's characterization bc i know their papapa would be the hottest with that and i have been fed with this need and even partnered w/ a/b/o trope /SOBS

Title:  Just Cared Too Much Summary:  Zhao Yun Lan found out his father was dead while he was pouring concrete down the throat of a backstabbing dickbag. “Chief, I'm sorry, the Boss is gone. Shot to the head, on his way to meet the Russians.” Notes: i was dying to have a mafia au and this appeared THANK YOU; and def one of the other things that pushed me to finish my own mafia au for weilan lol

Title:  家教 - or - Domestic Education Summary:  Shen Wei is the Ghost King, born out of the unyielding chaos of entropy that had consumed the underworld before the creation of the wheel of reincarnation. He's the cosmic guardian of death and all her darlings, and the universe through the lens of his eye is rife with demons, hungry ghosts, and shadows creeping out of their places. So there is absolutely no way he is getting sick. Notes: im novel verse trash and we get that PLUS mama!zhao uhh hell yes???

Title:  Sarva Summary:  Or, 一切. At work, in public, Shen Wei is meticulously, seamlessly polite. In bed, he's something else. Notes:  this was the first weilan smut i read AND ALL THE YES BC SHEN WEI LOSING IT FOR ZHAO YUNLAN IS MY KINK

Title:  Future Forged Summary: Masquerading as Kunlun, Zhao Yunlan sets out on a mission to recover the stolen Hallows alongside the young Shen Wei. Along the way, he discovers new abilities, forges new bonds, unearths old histories, and learns that the universe goes beyond his wildest imagination. Notes: lol way better take on what happened during that time travel thing than what the drama had

Title:  who you allow Summary: But then Zhao Yunlan goes and gets a haircut, and Shen Wei. Pouts. For like three days. Notes: for the record - i, too, believe shen wei will pout bc of this

Title:  Significant Other Colour Summary: Collars are so old-fashioned and Zhao Yunlan can’t help but feel that there’s an ulterior motive hiding behind Shen Wei’s innocently widened eyes. Notes: tfw i've tried to bury my needs on acknowledging how shen wei canonically wants to lock up zhao yunlan and then this fic hits me - author pls let me love you (for y'all heed the warnings)

Title:  Afterimage Summary:  Zhu Yi Long is an awkward turtle. Now he has to deal with letting Shen Wei and Ye Zun go. Notes:  okay so im not really into fics on real people but this was done so well? it explores the effects of zhu yilong's method acting and sets straight that zhubai and weilan are not one and the same at the end of the day

Title:  Twill Seeker Summary: The young master has a thing for the butler. The butler is at the end of his rope. Notes: if anyone comes after me and my apparent need for butler shen wei and young master zhao yunlan, hide me

Title:  When You're Old, You Want To Celebrate Birthdays At Home Summary: Shen Wei comes home to a surprise. Notes: me, wiping a tear: oh look, a ye zun characterization i actually like even if he's mentioned only

Title:  do nothing day Summary:  “The stress of work is exhausting me and my wife is scolding me now,” Zhao Yunlan pretends to whine, hiding his face in the blankets. “You’ve seen who I work with, those stubborn kids who cause me nothing but trouble. You’re supposed to be on my side, meant to pity me when the world turns against me. I deserve this day off and I reserve the right to do as I please. And if I want to be a slug in the bed then that’s what I’m going to do.” Notes: "It’s so gentle that Shen Wei almost can’t stand it, the way Zhao Yunlan lets him do as he likes, just receiving whatever Shen Wei wants to give him. And there’s so much that Shen Wei wants to lavish onto his Zhao Yunlan." -- dont bother for the ambulance i know im DOA

Title:  Heat and Desire Summary: Five times Zhao Yunlan had an oral fixation and one time Shen Wei did something about it. Notes: "You tease me, Zhao Yunlan," Shen Wei whispers, his breath tickling against Zhao Yunlan’s ear. "You tease me and you tease me and you seem to think that I won't do anything about it." -- me, choking: IM FINE

Title:  Just A Phone Call Away Summary:  Chief Zhao gets hurt on a case and nobody wants to be the one to call Professor Shen and tell him.... Notes: SID family + shen wei's first reaction to the call??? sign me up

Title:  Never Losing You Summary:  Yunlan can't open his eyes, can't shut his mouth. Needy, keening noises pour out of his throat completely out of his control. Shen Wei's closed fist is around him, pumping fast and tight in rhythm to his fucking, making him see stars exploding behind closed eyelids, thoroughly engulfed by the incredible sensations racketing up and down his spine originating from where they're so deliciously joined. Shen Wei's other hand cradles his jaw, careful, reverent, but also serves to ground Yunlan to the bed so Shen Wei can fuck him harder, deeper. Notes: i can never have enough weilan papapa bc if canon doesn't give me the explicit juicy details then im turning to fic writers with metaphorical gold payment

Title:  third time's the charm Summary: “I’m what Da Qing likes to describe as ‘especially tenacious’ when I’m in heat, even more so when I have a specific Alpha in mind,” Yunlan tells him, casual. (Or, three times Shen Wei helps Zhao Yunlan through his heat.) Notes: me, looking through the window with a faraway look: a/b/o universe makes me weak even if it's not even explicit

Title: this secret language that we speak Summary: "If you don't want to do this any more," says Shen Wei, "you get off the couch, and we'll do whatever you want. Do you understand?" Zhao Yunlan is so hot he thinks he's going to light the couch on fire. He swallows and nods."I didn't hear you," says Shen Wei, implacable as death. "Do you understand?" Zhao Yunlan has to clear his throat, and when he manages to speak, his voice is gravelled with arousal. "Yeah. I do." "Good," says Shen Wei. Notes: i cried 69 times bc my horny ass is fed and jfc domineering shen wei??? *cries for the 70th time*

Title: Shen Wei Summary: Shen Wei loves Zhao Yunlan, and there is only so long he can feign otherwise. Notes: [Zhao Yunlan gives a small shrug, uninvested in the argument. “All right. And where do you belong?” Shen Wei freezes, flashes of memory assaulting him, of Kunlun’s skin hot against his, of promises moaned against each other’s necks. Inside you is all he can think.] BINCH I DIED AT THIS PART

Title: Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This Summary: Zhao Yunlan jerks back to the waking world gasping and screaming and drowning in the anguish that comes with being lit on eternal consuming fire. The unmistakable rich copper taste of blood fills his mouth and he opens tear-filled bloodshot eyes that he was sure melted a long time ago with the rest of his physical body. He sees faces crowding around him in varying degrees of worry, but the pain blinds him from putting names to the faces. His throat feels raw, as if he'd been screaming for centuries and realizes on the next breath that he's been screaming a name. Shen Wei's name. Notes: drama-verse but a hopeful one TYL im here for the whole the last episode didn’t happen bc we can use the plot that the drama threw away lol

Title: Aftermath Summary: The fallout after the dust has settled. Notes: a look on what happened after the 4th extra in the novel; s o f t

Title: The world that we'll invent Summary: Shen Wei's self-control continues to be tested. Notes: [Nothing in Shen Wei's long existence has prepared him for the problem that is Zhao Yunlan.] >> honestly this is the summary of weilan in general 

Title: Quiet Heart, Hollow Body Summary: It has been ten thousand years since Shen Wei met Kunlun, but he could never forget the one who first saw beyond the mask of the Black Cloaked Envoy to the person beneath. Notes: im novel bias for so many reasons but this was absolutely amazing as a drama setting bc it /is/ closer to the novel setting bc shen wei was actually awake those 10,000 years so that desperation and intensity of novel!sw is closer here - really great read

last updated: March 2, 2020

[janiedean]

'We are not men' was an offhand comment that dany made to missandei, she doesn't really believe that since they are women they are immune to death or some shit, anon should just chill omg. And the prince/princess is confirmed to be genderless from the books, it's not something that d&d invented bc they love dany, actually they know who aar is so it wouldn't surprise me if it's really both jon AND dany

I know it’s from the book but I thought it was a red herring from the moment it happened which is why the whole thing sounded kinda like melisandre wanted to find a way to convince dany but… like… okay listen idk what D&D want to do, but:

grrm usually does a thing which is, ‘when he TELLS YOU SOMETHING REALLY REALLY HARD AND MENTIONS IT ALL THE TIME that thing usually doesn’t happen’.

case: every death not on page and everything cersei says. affc: OH HEY DAVOS IS DEAD HIS HEAD IS HUNG OUTSIDE MANDERLY’S CASTLE adwd: hey bro we killed someone else in your place you’re going to find rickon byadwd: hey mance is dead!jon: …. I’m not sure it’s himadwd: SURPRISE IT WASN’T HIM ACTUALLY!cersei: I’M SURE THIS THIS AND THIS HAPPEN BECAUSE I SAY SOactual reality: all the contrary happensarya: well I left sandor dying on the road he’s definitely a gonermonk on the quiet island: I AM STILL ALIVEarya: sometimes I still hear his voice& so on.

now, never mind tyrion’s sage advice about prophecies (Prophecy is like a half-trained mule. It looks as though it might be useful, but the moment you trust in it, it kicks you in the head). What we have in the text is dany seeing R and elia and the following dialogue happens:

“Aegon. What better name for a king… He is the prince that was promised, and his is the song of ice and fire”; “There must be one more. The dragon has three heads.”

AA prophecy:

There will come a day after a long summer when the stars bleed and the cold breath of darkness falls heavy on the world. In this dread hour a warrior shall draw from the fire a burning sword. And that sword shall be Lightbringer, the Red Sword of Heroes, and he who clasps it shall be Azor Ahai come again, and the darkness shall flee before him

+

When the red star bleeds and the darkness gathers, Azor Ahai shall be born again amidst smoke and salt to wake dragons out of stone.

+ tpwp prophecy as melisandre & others put it

You are he who must stand against the Other. The one whose coming was prophesied five thousand years ago. The red comet was your herald. You are the prince that was promised, and if you fail the world fails with you.

+

Born amidst salt and smoke, beneath a bleeding star. I know the prophecy. Not that I would trust it.

+

Stannis Baratheon is Azor Ahai come again, the warrior of fire. In him the prophecies are fulfilled. The red comet blazed across the sky to herald his coming, and he bears Lightbringer, the red sword of heroes.

now, either you think that AA is a red herring and tptwp is the real deal or you think tptwp = AA, the prophecies say exactly the same shit about either, so it’s a lot more likely that AA is tptwp and/or viceversa, or that AA is a red herring but tptwp is not. that stated, in order:

prophecies can’t be trusted 100% and no one interprets them well, which is what tyrion’s implying and what everyone does in these books since until now no one’s ever manage to understand one correctly

if GRRM tells you that someone is SOMETHING without immediate proof/verification, he’s most probably lying or red herring you around

R has elements from which he could deduce that if he didn’t have three children for three dragons the long night would come, which was why he started getting ready for it and was that bent on having three children. now, what is he saying in that vision? that AEGON is tptwp. now, as per above, if R thinks aegon is tptwp he’s definitely wrong because aegon is not and whether the one with jonc is fake or not (I think not) he is not AA or twptw. one out. rhaenys is dead, regardless. and what was R’s deal? getting the third head of the dragon in the world… for which he started a civil war. ops. let’s leave it one moment. anyway, R’s prophecy says for sure three things: the apocalypse is coming, you’ll need three dragons to stop it with three riders who should all be targs, and one of his children is AA/tptwp.

obviously, we could say that dany works anyway because she’s a targ so maybe R’s prophecy was wrong. which is most probably half true, because dany’s of course one of the heads of the dragon. but, she isn’t tptwp. why?

because she’s already been brought up by the narrative and everyone that the narrative explicitly brought up is NOT for now tptwp. it’s not aegon. it’s not stannis. and since in affc grrm took the time to put his red herring around with the language question and so on… sorry but it’s not dany. if she was dany, no one would have brought her up as an option, because that’s… not how the narrative works. like, literally, in asoiaf I’ve never seen anything that explicitly stated (that wasn’t dany owning dragons obv but that was the established plot point from the beginning) actually become a thing. you get hints. you get parallels you can theorize on. but like, if the narrative tells you davos dies offscreen davos doesn’t die offscreen, if cersei thinks marge is the younger and beautiful queen she’s wrong and if aemon thinks tptw is dany, she’s not. it’s a red herring. why?

interlude: there’s a thing named occam’s razor which basically says the simplest explanation is the most likely and if your theory needs to be extra elaborate to work, it’s probably not true.

if we follow occam’s razor (which a lot of narrative does because the more convoluted is a theory the least likely is the reader to buy it), we know: that tptwp has to be a thing, that he/she is related to rhaegar and should be one of his children, that he/she has to die among smoke and salt and blah blah blah and that prophecies are half-trained mules and that in order to have three kids R started a civil war, so that third kid must be damned important, and that it’s not R’s second child because R thought he was, and that it can’t be the first since he’s dead.

now: who is actually R’s offspring which has not been mentioned openly in the book until now, who has never ever ever brought up by the narrative itself as a possible AA/ptwp candidate, who has showed up in melisandre’s flames when she asked to see AA thinking she’d see stannis, and, most important, whose canonical death PERFECTLY matches the AA prophecy if you don’t interpret it literally?

The dead man was Ser Patrek of King’s Mountain; his head was largely gone, but his heraldry was as distinctive as his face. [from awoiaf: Patrek is clean-shaven and windburnt. His knightly raiment are of white and blue and silver, his cloak a spatter of five-pointed stars.] Jon did not want to risk Ser Malegorn or Ser Brus or any of the queen’s other knights trying to avenge him.

Wun Weg Wun Dar Wun howled again and gave Ser Patrek’s other arm a twist and pull. It tore loose from his shoulder with a spray of bright red blood. Like a child pulling petals off a daisy, thought Jon. "Leathers, talk to him, calm him. The Old Tongue, he understands the Old Tongue. Keep back, the rest of you. Put away your steel, we’re scaring him.”

Couldn’t they see the giant had been cut? Jon had to put an end to this or more men would die. They had no idea of Wun Wun’s strength. A horn, I need a horn. He saw the glint of steel, turned toward it. “No blades! ” he screamed. “Wick, put that knife …”

… away, he meant to say. When Wick Whittlestick slashed at his throat, the word turned into a grunt. Jon twisted from the knife, just enough so it barely grazed his skin. He cut me. When he put his hand to the side of his neck, blood welled between his fingers. “Why? ”

“For the Watch.” Wick slashed at him again. This time Jon caught his wrist and bent his arm back until he dropped the dagger. The gangling steward backed away, his hands upraised as if to say, Not me, it was not me. Men were screaming. Jon reached for Longclaw, but his fingers had grown stiff and clumsy. Somehow he could not seem to get the sword free of its scabbard.

Then Bowen Marsh stood there before him, tears running down his cheeks. [NOTE: tears are made of… salt…] “For the Watch.” He punched Jon in the belly. When he pulled his hand away, the dagger stayed where he had buried it.

Jon fell to his knees. He found the dagger’s hilt and wrenched it free. In the cold night air the wound was smoking. “Ghost,” he whispered. Pain washed over him. Stick them with the pointy end. When the third dagger took him between the shoulder blades, he gave a grunt and fell face-first into the snow. He never felt the fourth knife. Only the cold…

… and, who has the show confirmed as being r+l?

guys.

it’s jon.

it’s always been jon and it’s always going to be jon on his own. dany will be important af, whoever else rides the third dragon is gonna be hella important (I have a theory which is probably wrong but whatever grrm will have to pry it from me), but tptwp/AA is jon. and R said ‘his is the song of ice and fire’, not ‘the song of ice and fire is for tptwp and AA’. like. it seems fairly obvious textually to me that there’s no way it’s anyone but jon snow, who by the way in theory has had his nissa nissa moment with ygritte if you take it sorta literally and in a lot other ways if you take it very imaginatively.

you’re totally welcome to think it’s both of them, but according to me it’s just him, never mind that dany is all targ, he is half stark and half targ…. so…. ice and fire. like. it’s so trasparent I just can’t think that there has to be something even more complicated to it. *shrug*