grumpyoldsnake

[grumpyoldsnake]

Bystander Intervention Training

so, the US just attacked Iran, and that is fucking terrible. Something we all need to think about right now is how we can stop the harassment and violence against Muslims and Arabs in the US that got so much worse in the early 2000s from happening again to people now.

To that end, I wanted to share some resources on Bystander Intervention. One of the biggest things I learned from training like this is that there are many ways to intervene, and they don't all involve putting yourself in front of the person who may harm you or others. It's ok if you feel intimidated by that because there are more ways to help! And once you do the training, it might not be so scary.

Right to Be has Bystander trainings based on the 5Ds of Bystander Intervention (Distract, Delegate, Document, Delay, and Direct). The trainings are free!! sign up here.

I took one of their trainings a few years ago (when the org was called Hollaback!) and it was really very good, they have trainings at multiple levels and focused on various topics. They also partner with other orgs to focus on specific issues (like anti-AAPI harassment and with CAIR Chicago for anti-Muslim harassment, etc.).

Here are a few more resources:

APA Bystander Intervention Tip Sheet

RAINN Practicing Bystander Intervention

I think I'll sign up for one as a refresher.

[grumpyoldsnake]

Tired of stories where the author worldbuilds a whole religion only to chicken out at the last moment by making the main character a skeptic. You mean to tell me that there’s all this richness in lore and culture, but you’ve trapped me with the one person in this society who doesn’t care about it? So bland. I could meet an agnostic easily enough by walking down the street, but your story is my one chance to hear the perspective of someone who follows whatever religion you’ve contrived. You made this whole world; convince me that your character really is from there.

[grumpyoldsnake]

Hmmmn. Potential to-dos tomorrow, except I’ll have to pick a subset because I think trying to do Everything would be too much:

Actually start taking my new med

Garden: Water plants, weed, pick off pests

Garden: Trim suckers, trim grass

Return some emails

Help grandpa move the trailer

Clean out my car

Do some dishes

Cook a large batch of something for meals through the week?

Work on TtLW

Do some RP writing

Do the litterbox

Clean my room

Clean the living room

Fold laundry

Paint

Digital art (gift for a friend)

Read

Exercise

Journal

Hang out with my brother and/or my grandpa

Go out for a show in the evening? (Should be late enough that I’ll know if I’m good to drive on the new med…?)

[grumpyoldsnake]

Your takes on RSD are dogshit and you’re contributing to the stigma against people who actually experience it, do better

my "take" that it's a trauma reaction and you can learn to deal with it properly in relationships? what's wrong with saying that? I literally can't figure out how this statement could make someone upset...

[grumpyoldsnake]

every person ive ever suggested to that going through your partners phone not only invades their privacy but also the privacy of all the people who have possibly texted very personal things to them have acted like they genuinely never thought of that before

[grumpyoldsnake]

I wonder if “we have to torture this special character. in the lab facility. with secret science.” is an interest all 12-year-old children share or were we just the generation exposed to Maximum Ride

[grumpyoldsnake]

comments are turned off on this and i know it was a bloodbath in there

[grumpyoldsnake]

I feel like too many consent-related posts focus too much on giving and getting consent, and not making sure that people feel comfortable not consenting. We talk too much of consent as if it is a given, as if you just have to ask and then you’ll get it. 

like, there are so many things that boil down to “before you have sex, ask for consent” rather than “don’t assume you’re about to have sex unless you know for sure that the other party/parties want to, and even then they could change their minds”.

Which is just really unhelpful. The whole point of consent shouldn’t be “you should always ask for it and then you can have care-free sex”. That still assumes that you’re going to have sex, when the whole point of asking what people want to do is that it should be possible to say no.

Consent and dissent are both equally valuable. It’s OK if someone asks you if you want to do something, and you say no. And whether you say no for today, for a week or forever, it’s all fine.

Because you know that there are going to be people who think they’re so ~progressive~ and so ~feminist~. when they ask their partner(s) if they want to have sex, but then won’t be able to handle the word “no”.

[grumpyoldsnake]

I'm begging you to turn the sound on

[grumpyoldsnake]

new comms sheet! All of the money generated through commissions this year will go towards saving up for a service dog :>

[grumpyoldsnake]

Icon commissions for @catgirljainaproudmoore of Khaa'iel Sparkseeker, belonging to @time-lost-exiles and Anduin Wrynn (with cute cat ears!) from WoW! ✨commission info in source link below✨

[grumpyoldsnake]

I think mostly what young fandom types (and I guess younger people in general) who are very very invested in the idea that “20 is still basically a minor” need to understand is that the feeling of “I’m just a child pretending to be an adult, and everyone else around me is a REAL adult” is DEEPLY universal (and won’t stop, ever, by the way, sorry!) and also is not, like, praxis.

Believe me, I get it, but the self-infantilization needs to stop, especially when you’re trying to engage in conversations about actual children and the harms they can face. Yes, it is scary to wake up and realize you’re 22 and you still feel like you’re 15, but it happens to all of us. You’re an adult. You have to deal with it.

[grumpyoldsnake]

they had no reason to be serving challengers realness for hsm promo 😭

[grumpyoldsnake]

atoms are made of positive parts, negative parts, and neutral parts. the positive parts are attracted to the negative parts and repelled by each other, like magnets. but there's a second force that attracts positive and neutral parts to each other. to have an atom, you need the two forces that govern the parts of the atom to attain celestial harmony, which means you need enough neutral parts to make the positive parts stick together in the middle.

sometimes an atom is permissible but celestially disharmonious, usually because it's too big. there's also an occult diagram that determines which forms of atom are harmonious, but it's usually because it's too big. when this happens, the angels take offense and break it apart. this makes atoms that aren't celestially harmonious into smaller atoms that are, and is where balloon gas comes from: the form of balloon gas is particularly favored by God.

that's all well and good, as such things go. there are rocks that make balloon gas because God thinks their atoms are too big. that's fine. we can use it for balloons. but there's another type of celestial disharmony, caused by a secret third force that does this, where a neutral part of an atom can break into a positive part, a negative part, and a secret third thing called an "anti neutrino", and the atom gets bigger. you can't use this to make explosions, that's a third thing, but you can use it to light exit signs. you probably can't use it to turn base metals into gold either; that's a fourth thing, which is maybe the opposite of the third.

it's really hard to make gold because there's only one kind that isn't so celestially disharmonious that it curses you to death with beams. we wouldn't like gold if it cursed us to death with beams. it does curse us to death, of course, but the harmonious kind doesn't do it with beams.

[grumpyoldsnake]

LINK: tinyurl.com/oldgaySF

I'd like to share with y'all a project I've poured my heart and soul into over the last couple of years: a database cataloguing every single older queer science fiction book I've managed to track down, consisting of just over 200 titles with LGBT characters/themes & by LGBT authors, spanning over a century (1880-2000) 🚀

The database can be filtered by representation, subgenre, whether the book is currently in print, and more; additionally, it includes my own ratings & brief thoughts on the ones i have read, if anyone needs a suggestion on places to start! (or feel free to shoot me an ask for a more personalized recommendation)

[grumpyoldsnake]

Hmmmmng

Risk of sudden death with strattera vs risk of sudden death because my driving focus has gotten noticeably worse since I’ve gotten stuck back on the minimum dose of bupropion

Go

[grumpyoldsnake]

OP: the stall owner I often order spicy 炸串zhachuan(skewers) from whipped out an impromptu Inner Mongolian grassland dance