#and said we needed to 'hear them out'' bc she thinks i'm a huge bitch

[imjustconfuseddd]

.

[rahleeyah]

Okay, maybe I am dumb or something but did Liv downplay her injury in the urgent care scene for the sake of Elliot's feelings? I'm asking because I saw a tweet that suggested that. Basically, once again a woman puts her feelings aside for the sake of a man's feelings according to this person.

I see it more as her being an empath and always feeling others pain more than others. Basically, El's pain is her pain.

I never would have thought of that, and considering the evidence of the scene itself I don't think that's what happened, but I do think that some people want to believe that Liv is a victim, particularly where Elliot is concerned, so badly that they will view of all her interactions thru that lens.

Liv's injury actually isn't that bad. Like when you hear someone got shot you think bullet thru flesh and tearing up their insides and damaging bones and ligaments and organs and while Liv was very much hurt, that is not what happened to her. The pellets weren't embedded that deep, she didn't need to be sedated for their removal, it was not surgery in the traditional sense. There likely will not be any permanent muscle damage; there will be no PT. she has to take it easy for two weeks while it heals. She's in some pain, but she has certainly had worse.

She doesn't downplay her feelings for the sake of Elliot's emotions; Elliot enters the room smiling and asks how she's feeling. He doesn't rush in all concerned in the midst of PTSD episode; he is smiling, and asking about her. And Liv never, ever, ever says to anyone that she's hurt. She simply won't do it. It's not about protecting Elliot; this is a function of who Liv is as a person and the theory that she does that in an attempt to put other people's feelings above her own ignores why that's a part of Liv's character. She doesn't do it bc she's so selfless; she does it bc she doesn't want to be seen as weak, bc she doesn't let people in, bc it's a habit. Her making the choice not to say "it stings like a son of a bitch" isn't her putting Elliot first; it's what she always does.

But she does tell him it hurts. In her own way, in that tough, cop-machismo way that is the only way she and the people like her will express pain and is a way that Elliot knows how to interpret, she tells him she's hurt, and asks for help, which he willingly offers. When she tells him she won't be sitting for a while he knows that means it hurts. He understands what she's saying. His emotions do not enter the conversation until they're standing, you can see her face change when she recognizes he's feeling big feelings. She didn't think he was before - you know, before, when she had an opportunity to say "it hurts" and chose not to - and it's only once they're standing that she asks what's wrong.

And it would take a particularly heartless, narcissistic person to look at their best friend, whose wife was blown up right in front of him, who has just had to deal with his best friend being shot right in front of him, and not ask if he's ok and not acknowledge his feelings. Is he not also allowed to feel things? Is only one of them allowed to need comfort at a time? Her ass stings but she feels emotionally steady; he is physically unhurt but has just experienced a significantly triggering emotional event. Do they not comfort each other in the ways they each need in that moment, him by physically supporting her and her by emotionally supporting him?

And it's worth noting, too, that Olivia herself draws the connection to Kathy out loud; Olivia acknowledges out loud that losing her would be akin to losing his wife, as @thisismehappy has pointed out. That's huge!!! That's Olivia recognizing how much he values her!!

Anyway. It's been said before. We are all watching different shows.

[oddball-artz]

YO! IS DJ REHE-REHE BACK AT IT WITH QUESTIONS!

Okay, so this is gonna be a lil long :))

So how is Sabrinas relationship with Dalias family? Has she met them? What do they think of her? Do they even know Dalia is dating her?

And, I kinda want to make a future AU where everyone is like 10 years older. So can you go into depth about Dalias future? Like, does her relationship w her mom improve? Is she still with Sabrina? Are they married? Children? Job?

And lastly, how would Dalia manage Sabrinas OCD (because that's canon now) and how would Sabrina help with Dalias anxiety?

:]

Ok, so Dalia's family knows that Sabrina's dating Dalia, but their opinions on her vary. Starting with Avery, she doesn't care that they're dating, but doesn't particularly care for anyone in fruitbasket in general (she thinks they're a bad influence because Dalia's started standing up for herself more since meeting them and Avery views that as defiance and nothing more) Carter on the other hand thinks Sabrina's good for Dalia, he hears the way she talks about her, and how much more confident she is around her. Esme likes Sabrina but likes getting on Dalia's nerves more, so she usually ends up trying to embarrass Dalia whenever Sabrina's around(like why whole shouting the word girlfriend thing). Esme and Jasper were both actively betting on whether or not they'd get together. Esme won. Jasper bet against it bc he assumed Dalia would be too nervous to ever confess,but what he didn't plan for was for Sabrina to be the one to confess, so Esme won 10 dollars.

Dalia ends up putting herself through nursing school. She has an instinctual need to help others, and this helps fill that. She ends up working at an urgent care, and her epithet helps a lot there. Speaking of her epithet, she's trained enough with it now to gain epithet markings(like Zora's triangle tattoos or Mera's eyes) hers are tattoo like moth wing pattern on her back. It glows in a faint lavender color when she uses her epithet.

I also feel like she'd go no contact with her mom. She's learned to stand up for herself(well a little) and has decided it's better for her if she cuts contact. Avery still refuses to admit to anything she put Dalia through (BECAUSE SHE'S A BITCH! Who said that? Not me)

(Oof this it late so we already know her and Sabrina are married with 2 kids) As a mom, she's still definitely a worrier. If her kids are out late, she's up pacing around the living room. She's super supportive though, she makes a huge point of being there for Vee and Jasper. Overall, she's trying to be the exact opposite of her mother. When they were little, she told them the same myths and legends she told her little siblings. Worrys that she's a bad parent and that she's gonna end up like her mom. Would do anything for them, loves them to death.

Alright, Dalia, as said before is there through the bouts of depression, she's not good with words of comfort on the spot, so she tends to really on her epithet to comfort her. Feels bad about it, but her epithet can take the edge off of just about anything. Wants to help in any way she can, if Sabrina says the word, she's there, doesn't matter what it is, she's there. Also Sabrina not leaving when Dalia's anxiety flairs up means the world to her. She's got some issues with thinking people are gonna leave her bc she's a burden(Dalia go to therapy,I'm begging you) and even the simplest reassurance means so much (and it helps more than she's willing to admit). Girlfriends with issues that support each other for the win.

[bby-ahgastay]

Locked In - H.J.S

a/n: so this took way too long :/. my brain cell is giving out fr🤧. i hope you enjoy it!

member: Han Jisung (Stray Kids)

summary: one friday some of you decide to sneak into school and hotbox the principal's office, but you and jisung get locked in together, leaving you alone for a while👀.

warnings: smoking weed, oral(m.receiving), fingering, unprotected sex(always use condoms tho bc fuck them kids loll), slight degradation, hair pulling, a little choking.

requested: yes!! and i wanted to say again thank you for requesting this at all, and i'm still sorry it took so long🥺. i really want to try writing more so feel free to request more too!

"miss y/l/n, would you like to repeat that?" your math teacher tilts one ear towards you from her spot in front of the class, new seating chart still clutched tightly in her clammy hands. every one of your classmates shifts to look back at you, your seat in the way back and clearly on purpose. while you were back there, your three closest friends were all scattered in the front.

each of them watches you as well, on standby in case you need any of them to help you out. ryujin is good at helping you rile the teacher up even more. jeongin and chaeryeong use their baby faces to their advantage, usually throwing the teacher some puppy dog eyes and hardly even saying anything, yet still managing to get her to back off of you guys. in some cases they even distract her long enough for you two to escape.

you're not sure why, it's not like she doesn't know that they're your friends. it must be something about their cute, innocent looks that always seemed to make your teacher forget whose side they were on.

"oh, sure!" you chirp, setting your pencil down and beginning to fold the paper you just wrote on. the words 'let's leave early, fuck this' get covered more and more each time you fold a piece of the paper, your eyes not even moving to look at the teacher as you continue. "i said, this seating chart is bullshit. moving us all from our friends won't stop us, you know. it might be quiet for now, but we are not paying attention," you chuckle bitterly, inspecting the paper airplane as you finish it.

"now we'll just be even more distracted finding new ways to communicate," you hold up the plane to show your teacher, making a small 'pop' sound with your mouth as you launch it to ryujin. your friend lights up and stands to catch it, opening the paper and snickering before nodding at you, chae and innie catching your faces and already knowing what to do.

"you two cut it out right now! shin ryujin, give me that paper!" she steps closer to ryujin, the girl scowling at her as she stands on her desk, holding the paper up high as she crumples it in one hand.

"full name? really? i mean, who do you think you are? my mother? get over yourself already," ryujin scoffs. the teacher seethes, arms crossed and foot tapping.

"get down before i call security!"

"bite me, dude."

"AH!!" chaeryeong suddenly screams, climbing on top of her desk dramatically. "miss, i just saw a rat!" she cries out, pointing towards a gap between the wall and bookshelf. the teacher sighs as everyone else gasps and shouts, bringing their feet and bags off the ground.

"chaeryeong... this school does not have rats..." she rubs at her face with one hand, eyes covered as she boils in frustration. while she's not looking, ryujin slowly lowers herself back to the tile, quietly gathering her bag and backing up. you also get your stuff together and begin trying to head towards the back door.

the teacher takes her hand from her face and nearly turns around to ryujin's desk again, but jeongin jumps up to her side, clinging onto her arm to bring her towards the shelf and timidly pointing towards it.

"no, miss, she's right! i saw it too! it-it was huge!" his eyes stare down at her, wide and shining. the last thing you hear is the teacher groaning, then the bookshelf moving and even more chaos from your classmates, then you and ryujin rush to slip out of the door.

as soon as the door closes, you both break for the cafeteria, deciding on an early lunch like you usually do when you sneak out of this class. you both laugh as you make it to the lunch room, catching your breaths for a moment before walking into the large room.

a few other students are already there too, some in line to get food and some sitting at tables while they wait for friends. you and ryujin head over to where you usually sit, a large table where a couple of your friends already wait for everyone.

"hey guys," ryujin pats yeji on the shoulder, sitting between her and lia. you sit in the seat next to yeji, leaning back and smiling at your older friends. as they begin talking you just take out your phone and headphones, opting to listen to music and scroll through twitter rather than join in.

as you start your playlist you hear the chair next to you scraping against the floor. with only a glance over your shoulder you see han jisung, laughing with some friends as they all sit at your table. you try to bite back a smile as he sits next to you, turning his attention from minho and felix to you.

"hey, you're here early," he beams down at you, opening the drink he just bought and handing it to you to have a sip. you shrug and set your phone down, taking your earbuds out as you sit up straighter and take the bottle.

"yeah, some stuff happened in class today, ryujinnie and i-"

"oh my god, y/n, ryujin! you should have seen, it was so great!" you hear chaeryeong exclaim as her and jeongin come bounding towards your table. you chuckle and shake your head lightly as they plop down in seats across from you, gasping for their breaths through laughter.

the others all give them their full attention, curiosity in everyone's eyes. your partner in crime grins at them both, ready to hear what happened once you left, but you just watch jisung as he waits to hear what they have to say.

"after you guys left everyone pretty much said fuck it, we spent the rest of the class with everyone just throwing paper airplanes and the teacher totally just gave up! she sat there the whole time at her desk on her phone and just let us. it would have been sad if she wasn't such a bitch," jeongin shakes his head, cringing at the bitter memories of your teacher.

"ah, i had her, too! she was awful," jisung scrunches his nose, eyes coming back to you. he's a year older than you, meaning he's also a year ahead of you in school. "i must applaud you, as much as me and the others tried we never got her to actually give up. surprising since there were so many of us, really! you two did what me, seungmin, felix, hyunjin, yeji, and lia couldn't," he shakes his head a little, seeming amused yet proud of you.

you only smile up at him as the conversation continues around you.

------

"GAH!" you feel someone jumping on you, hands on your shoulders. with seungmin being consideredably larger than you, you nearly topple over and try to grab onto the closest person to keep yourself up. you catch hyunjin by surprise as you do, his reaction being to practically scream and jump back when you try to grab his arm, swatting you off of him and hardly making it any easier for you.

"my god, you two are gonna kill one of these girls one day," chan shakes his head at the younger boys.

"min, that was unprovoked!" jisung tries to stop himself from laughing, hands on both of your arms to make sure you're steady. this is really pointless given that you've already stopped yourself from falling, barely assisted by hyunjinnie.

he ruffles your hair and scrunches his nose at you playfully. you're sure that you look up at him with hearts in your eyes, your face heating up just from being this close to the boy.

"gosh, my poor baby! just look at how red her face is, she's overwhelmed!" lia exclaims, stroking your hair gently from behind you, then turning to lightly hit seungmin on the chest. the rest of your group all laugh as her and yeji both begin lightly scolding seungmin and hyunjin.

with jisung still not moving, you only look up at him. a pretty smile takes over his face as he laughs at your guys' friends. you can't help yourself as you reach out to pinch one of his cheeks, your face heating up again as he looks at you with a pout.

"what was that for," he tries not to laugh, his bottom lip still sticking out. hiding your giddy expression, you shrug, turning to ryujin before he says anything else.

"did you ever get your phone back from the principal?"

"no!" she frowns deeply, crossing her arms and glaring towards the principals office. she had been forced to go all day without it when a teacher took it in first period. "i went to go get it last period but she said that since it's happened so many times she gets to keep it here all weekend. which, by the way, is a rule that i have never heard at this school!" she nearly shouts, and everyone in your friend group just stares at her.

"sorry, i'm just mad about my phone," she mumbles, arms crossed.

most of the group nods understandingly and returns to their conversations. but you look around and pull together a group of six; you, ryujin, chaeryeong, seungmin, jeongin, and jisung. they all look at you curiously as you motion for them to take a few steps away from everyone else.

"why don't we get your phone back? like, tonight," you look at each of them. they all consider it for a moment, ryujin the only one who doesn't look unsure. "no one will be here past eight. that's when even the last security guard gets tired and goes home, and we already know how to sneak into the office," you point between yourself and the other two girls.

"how?"

"why does that matter?"

"well, i mean, i'm just saying, i don't know how, so this is obviously something you did without me," jeongin grumbles, arms crossed and pouting childishly.

"god, hush up!" chaeryeong lightly smacks his head, not hard enough to actually hurt him. "bigger things are going on than when we hotboxed the office without you scrubs," she smirks, eyes on you now as she waits for you to continue.

the boys stare at you three in shock, seeming more offended than before. "the betrayal," jisung can't help but smile as he speaks, your heart racing you just smile and look away.

"anyways, it wouldn't be too hard. all we have to do is plan a little and come back around nine or something tonight. are you guys down? we can hotbox the office again?" you grin at them, knowing that's all it'll take to get them to agree.

and they all do.

"i would have been on board either way, hell yeah," jisung ruffles your hair, making your heart clench as you giggle and push his hand away.

"on board for what?"

chan, yeji, and lia all walk up to you, curious and already suspecting something bad. the three of them are easily the most parent-like friends in your group. they all tend to try to steer you and the others away from trouble, and you know they wouldn't love this plan. 'just be patient instead,' they would no doubt tell ryujin. the six of you know that's much less fun, though.

"nothing. just sungie and minnie agreeing to help us four with an assignment this weekend," you smile at your older friends. they eye you suspiciously but let it go, deciding that ignorance is bliss.

-------

"jesus, han, please let me drive back," ryujin shakes her head, fixing her hoodie as you climb out of han's car.

"no way, i'm not that bad! besides, you probably have road rage and i don't fuck with that," he dangles the keys in front of her before shoving them in his pocket.

"he's not that bad," you assure ryujin. she looks at you as if saying 'of course you think so,' and you three continue towards the school gate to meet the other half of your group.

you and ryujin came with jisung, only because he lives closer to you guys. and seungmin lives much closer to jeongin and chaeryeong, so you guys are meeting them at the front gate.

as you guys walk up to the tall gate, you can already see seungmin, jeongin, and chaeryeong come down on the other side. ryujin is quick to jump onto it, grinning down at the three already inside your campus.

"can't believe you guys started without us! how lame!"

"well, when you guys take forever," seungmin responds, offering your friend a hand as she comes down on their side.

"blame mr. grandpa driver over there," she lazily nods in jisung's direction, letting the older boy help her land softly. the four of them wait for you and han as he only rolls his eyes, offering you a boost to climb up.

you let him help you and the two of you make your way over the gate quickly, landing with your friends with ease.

"okay, so we all know where the piggy's office is," chaeryeong speaks up, pulling her beanie down as you all look to her. "i know how to pick locks, so i'll take care of that. after, it would be easiest to leave through the window, it leaves us closer to where we parked and it's just quicker. also it's more fun to leave the window open to let her know someone was in there. sounds like a nice big 'fuck you' to me," she smiles sweetly.

the principal tends to be a bit of a bully. she's been rude to each of your friends on multiple occasions, even the sweetest ones. so it's not like you guys are doing this only for fun. or only the get ryujinnie's phone. she also deserves it, which is why you and the other girls have done it before too.

you guys all head for the office, your steps hurried and quiet just in case anyone is still on campus. it's unlikely, but you all still wanted to be careful.

once you reach the door to the principals office, all of you stand behind chaeryeong and wait for her to get the door open. it only takes her a minute to get it, and she pulls the pins out of the keyhole and pushes the door open.

"hurry up, everyone," she smiles, pushing each of you in gently. she enters last, closing and locking the door behind her as you and ryujin go straight for the desk.

"this one," ryujin mumbles as she reaches for one of the drawers. you help her rummage through it in search of her phone, eventually finding it under a stack of papers and folders. "bitch," she grumbles while slamming the drawer shut, flopping down into the principals chair and pulling her backpack off her shoulders.

unzipping her bag, ryujin begins pulling out the essentials for you guys to hotbox the office as planned. you and chae begin going around the office to close the vents and make sure the windows are closed. the guys all watch as you prepare, only finding it funny that you guys are so used to this.

"so how often do you guys break in here?" jisung questions. you shrug and pull your sweater off, stuffing it under the door to close the gap. hannie's eyes travel over you, now only in a black top and shorts, a smile tugging at his lips as you straighten back up.

"not often... but often enough to know what the fuck we're doing," ryujin speaks from behind the desk, comfortably rolling a couple blunts in the principals chair. everyone gravitates closer to her, you and chaeryeong sitting on the desk and the guys hovering around the desk and the windows behind it.

"i still can't believe you guys do this without me. the other two losers i can understand, but come on! i'm in the same year as you guys, that's supposed to mean solidarity," jeongin complains, coming to rest his chin on chae's shoulder and watch ryujin work on the blunts.

"yah, these two 'losers' are your seniors, innie, watch it," seungmin scolds playfully, stepping closer to pull the younger boys hair lightly. jeongin sits up and pouts, rubbing his head in fake pain.

"oh, both of you stop. i get why they wanted to hang out without us. we're fucking annoying," jisung smacks them both in the back of the head, sitting next to you on the desk afterwards. you gaze up at him with a grin, your heart speeding up just like always as he comes closer to you.

he notices your stare, letting his eyes move down to meet yours. "hi," he smiles cutely, patting your head.

"hi," you manage to respond, looking back to your other friends and trying to remember to breathe as he pulls your head onto his shoulder, his arm resting across your shoulders.

ryujin finishes rolling three blunts, passing them to whoever has their lighter out already. jisung, ryujin, and seungmin end up with them and they share with whoever they stand closest to. you share with jisung, ryujin shares with jeongin, and seungmin shares with chaeryeong.

as all three blunts are lit up and all six of you begin taking hits, the room slowly but surely fills with smoke.

-------

"ah! oh, oh my god!" you all gasp for your breath through laughter nearly an hour after you start smoking. jisung rolls around on the floor and usually you'd call him extra to joke around more, but now you're right there with him as everyone else clutches onto some sort furniture or something to keep themselves up.

"s-stop my stomach hurts!" chaeryeong cries out, still giggling through it all. jeongin tries to sit up in the principals chair, failing as he collapses in more laughter. seungmin sits across from him in a chair, one that students sit in when they come to visit the principal, the two of them enacting some sort of scene where jeongin imitates the principal.

usually you guys would all laugh at the joke and move on, but given that everyone is high as shit right now, it's been the joke you guys have been dying at for the last twenty minutes. all of you try to catch your breaths as your laughter starts dying down, everyone finally calming down.

"oh, fuck," ryujin gasps, suddenly sitting up in her spot and looking towards the door. you all look too, silent as you wait for her to say more. "i just heard footsteps!" she looks at all of you, eyes wide and ready to leave already. all of you must be paranoid or something, because not one of you questions her. instead you all jump into action, speaking in hushed voices as you all make sure you have everything.

when everyone thinks they have all of their stuff, you all gather by one window and wait for chaeryeong to get it open. the footsteps become louder and clearer as she picks the lock, cursing out loud at the fact that your school had to make sure it couldn't be opened without a key even inside. once she hears the locks shift she pulls the bobby pins out, sliding the window open quickly.

"shit, everyone go!" seungmin speaks as jeongin crawls through first, the two helping everyone get out and on the ground safely. but just as it's your turn, you realize what you're forgetting.

"oh god, my hoodie," you meet eyes with jisung, and he moves aside to let you rush to grab it, telling seungmin to go while he waits for you. bending over to snatch your sweater from it's spot on floor, you can hear the last couple of footsteps before the person stops. in front of the door. you come up as the lock begins to click, a key being inserted to unlock it.

"i swear, it stinks in here," you hear a voice. straightening back up, you clutch your sweater to your chest and slowly back up. it feels like you black out, your heart is pounding and you can't think of exactly what you should do. you don't hear it, but jisung is quietly calling for you to hurry up and climb out of the window already.

before you can process anything properly, you feel a hand grab you and drag you into the open door to the left, a small room full of filing cabinets which you guys were goofing around in not long ago. now jisung is pulling you into it, closing the door just as the other one swings open, the schools principal walking in.

"oh, shit," the principal groans, the door slamming. han still has you in his arms, his chest to your back and a hand over your mouth. your try to look back at him, but you can't turn around fully in his arms, so you just listen to the woman on the other side of the door swearing some more.

"god, those stupid kids must have been in here again! it smells like god damn marijuana and my window is wide open! that's just rude, if you ask me," she grumbles to someone, probably on the phone. "i should really drop by on weekends more often, try to catch them! i'm sure this hasn't been the only time and probably won't be the last... i find this out all because i forgot my ipod."

she must have put the phone on speaker, because as she goes through a drawer you can barely hear a girls voice respond to her. "stop, mom, if nothing is missing then it's fine! leave those high schoolers alone, already... and stop using an ipod you have a phone for that!"

you and jisung almost bust out laughing, his hand on your mouth keeping yours contained and one of your hands going to cover his. the principal tries arguing, but her daughter keeps telling her she's wrong in some way. as the fight continues, she leaves the office.

both of you take your hands from each other's faces, neither of you stepping away from each other as you wait. "think she'll come back?" you glance back at him, shaking your head slightly as his eyes stare into yours.

"probably not, she's lazy. i'm surprised she came back for her ipod," you pause for a moment, still looking up at him. you two struggle to look away from each other for a moment, your mind blurring as he licks his lips.

suddenly one of your phones starts ringing, the sound making you flinch away from him. both of you search for your phones in your pockets, pulling them out and seeing that it's your phone.

"hey, we just saw her car leaving! are you guys coming down or what?" chaeryeong's voice comes through the phone. you put her on speaker for jisung to hear, opening the door and walking back into the office.

"small problem with that..." you sigh as you see the window is closed. "she closed the window. and locked it," you try without success to push it open anyways, han coming to stand next to you as you both peer out of the window.

"well, shit. it wouldn't be a problem... if i didn't lose my bobby pins climbing out," your friend sighs. you can hear the others all yelling and groaning in the background, chaeryeong whining as they do. "i'm sorry, y/n and jisung! i'll have min drive us to go get some, we'll be back, don't move!" she hangs up after that, leaving you and jisung stuck in the office.

"no clue where we'd go, but okay," jisung sighs, running a hand through his hair.

you look over at him and can't seem to hold back the laughter bubbling in your chest, one hand over your face as your try harder. he looks down at you, confused but still smiling. "what?" he questions cutely.

"i don't even know," you gasp. "just... this is so funny for some reason," you realize suddenly that you're still high, nearly falling over as you lean against the window. he stares down at you, starting to find the humor in it as he watches you, and soon enough he finds it hard not to laugh too.

"i-i think we're still a little fucked up," jisung manages to get out, placing his hands on your shoulders, shaking you lightly as he continues laughing.

"no shit, sungie," you reach up to smush his cheeks with both of your hands, giggling even more at his face as you do. he takes your wrists and brings your hands away from his face, his laughter fading as he gazes down at you.

"i like when you call me that. it sounds better coming from your mouth than other people," his charming smile and deep voice nearly kill you. he chuckles a little when all you do is stare up at him, admiration and longing in your eyes.

"stop," you whine in embarrassment as he lets go of your wrists. you bring your hands up to feel your cheeks, your skin much warmer than usual as you blush.

"no way," he mumbles before letting one of his hands come to the back of your neck, pulling you towards him for a kiss. you gasp a little as his lips touch yours, the way his mouth moves over yours making your knees weak.

han's other hand goes to your lower back, tugging you against him. when he pulls back from the kiss, you look up at him, feeling happiness buzzing through you.

you don't think you've ever been this close to jisung, not like this. maybe standing together in a crowd, or sitting next to each other in a packed car. but never with his arms actually around you, with his face hardly centimeters away from yours. your heart pounds because of it.

"you know i've liked you for like, a while now, right?" he asks you softly, resting his forehead on yours. you're not sure what to say, you don't usually do well with talking about your feelings for someone, not to that person. you just lean forward to leave small kisses against the skin on his neck, hoping he'll get it from that.

he chuckles as your lips move against him. "i know you've liked me too. jeonginnie has a big mouth." you move back with a pout.

"what?! how long have you known..." you whine, bringing your arms around him and nuzzling your head in his chest. his chest vibrates with his small laugh, teasingly pinching at your hips.

"not too long... a week or so..." you're able to hear his grin in his voice, your heart swelling as his hands begin moving up and down your back. "i just was too scared to bring it up until now, i guess," he brings two fingers under your chin, making you look up at him again. "i have no clue why, now i wish i kissed you a lot sooner."

you feel yourself melt as he gazed down at you, eyes closing as he moves to catch your lips on his again. as his tongue slips into your mouth, he steps backwards, not letting your mouths disconnect as he moves towards the principals chair.

you two part for only a second as he sits down, guiding you onto his lap, you both giggle at each other giddyly. he doesn't hesitate to bring your lips back to his, smirking through the kiss. arms tightening around your waist, he hugs you close to him as you explore each other mouths.

after making out for a few minutes, he moves down to your neck, hands moving up and down your thighs and gripping your ass every so often. a choked moan slips from your lips as he sucks and nips at a spot near your collarbone, your teeth sinking into your lower lip to stop any more from coming out.

jisung leans back slightly, his expression smug and eyes hooded as he stares up at you. "did you just moan?" he asks, amused and letting his hands roam over your body.

"no," your face heats up and you pout a little. one of his eyebrows goes up, that cockiness still very evident in his grin. "shut up," you mumble, putting your head on his shoulder. you leave a small kiss where his neck and shoulder meet, your own grin growing slightly.

"i'm sure i could get you to moan, too, sung," you chuckle a little, one of your hands going to play with his waistband. you see his eyebrows go up, eyes wide as his breath catches.

"wha- ...here..?"

you hold back more laughter, leaning back and nodding before going to kiss his lips again. he eagerly kisses you back, one hand on your hips and the other tangled in your hair at the back of your head. as you kiss him you can feel him pulling you closer to him, your body already pressed against his, just trying to be as close to you as possible.

hands roaming his body, you can feel his hard chest under the soft material of his shirt. both of you smile as you make out, this moment long awaited for each of you. your hands go under his shirt, cold fingers making him shiver and dig his own fingers into your hips. you hum quietly as he moves to leave hickies on your neck and collarbone, his hands tugging lightly at your shorts.

he pushes you back from him gently, gazing up at you with a smirk. "stand up, baby," he speaks huskily. you obey him without second thought, standing in front of him and letting him pull your shorts down. his lower lip goes between his teeth as he eyes you, hands slowly coming up to slip under your top, removing that next.

only in your bra and underwear now, you go to your knees and start unbuttoning his black jeans. you look up at him through your lashes, smiling innocently as he watches you tug his pants off, hips lifting slightly to help you.

his head falls back and he tries to hold back a throaty moan, failing terribly, when you bring one of your hands to rub him over his boxers. in no time he's panting and fully hard under your hand, so you take his cock out of his boxers and give him a mischievous look before licking a long stripe from his base to his tip.

he lets out a loud moan as you wrap your lips around his head, sucking and swirling your tongue. "ah, shit..." he swears breathlessly. "get the fuck up here already," he growls, pulling you back up on to his lap and roughly attaching his lips to yours.

one hand tangled in your hair, the other travels up your thigh to your panties, thumb finding your clit immediately. you moan into his mouth as he rubs circles over the material, the friction from the lace only adding to the sensation.

two of his fingers go to push your underwear to the side, rubbing up and down your folds to feel how wet you already are. you almost have to pull back from the kiss when he pushes a finger inside you, but his hand at the back of your head keeps you in place, his tongue still in your mouth.

after pumping in and out of you for a moment he adds one more finger, this time letting you pull away to whine and put your head on his shoulder, chuckling as you do. "what, babygirl? what's the matter," he coos, his tone smug and proud under the fake concern.

"fuck jisung, please," you breathe.

"please what, sweetheart," he speaks monotonously, forcing you to look at him, one hand on your neck. he doesn't apply any pressure, but even just the feeling of his hand on your throat is almost enough to make you moan again.

"please fuck me already."

he grins up at you, taking his finger from inside you and lifting your hips to line his dick with your entrance. his nails dig into your skin as he pulls you down onto him, both of you moaning loudly as he fills you completely.

he gives you a second to adjust, your head buried in his neck, before slowly dragging your hips against his. panting, he lets his head rest on your shoulder, eyes closed and still holding onto your hips tightly.

you moan and whine as you feel him moving inside you, hitting all the right spots. he lifts his head to look at you, leaving a kiss on your jaw as he brings one hand to unclip your bra, shocking you that he can even do it with one hand. you don't time have to react though, jisung smashing his lips to yours and his hands moving over your body, stopping to massage your boobs as you ride him.

pleasure washes over your body, making it hard for you to keep up a decent pace. he smiles as you still try, eventually wrapping his arms around you and standing up, setting you down on the desk instead.

his lips touch yours as he starts thrusting into you, slowly building up his pace until you're clinging onto him tightly as he snaps his hips against your quickly, moaning into his shoulder.

"oh, fuck," he groans. "i can't believe you're letting me fuck you at school," his voice is breathy as he continues pounding into you quickly. "right here on the principals desk... what a little slut," he smirks, pulling you by the hair to force you to look at him.

you whine as his eyes burn into you, one thumb moving to rub at your clit. "only for me though, isn't that right, baby? you'll only be my little slut from now on, huh?" you nod and moan pathetically, eyes closing as he keeps a firm grip on your hair.

"keep your fucking eyes open," he mutters, his hand going from your hair to your neck. this time he tightens his fingers around your throat lightly, you forcing your eyes open as he does. he lets out a throaty moan when you clench around him, already feel your high approaching quickly.

"you're gonna cum already, aren't you?" he chuckles as you try to get out a 'yes', the hand on your heat goes to pull one of your legs around his waist, making you cry out loudly as he hits a new, deeper spot inside you.

he grunts while pounding into you, doubting he'll last much longer either as you keep tightening around his cock. his hand tightens even more, his lip between his teeth as he watches your face, your eyes struggling to stay open as the knot in your core builds and builds.

"ji, i-" you just barely manage to get out, cut off by your orgasm when you feel him hit your spot once more. he groans and curses as you cum around him, quickly pulling out and pumping himself a few times until he releases as well.

his cum lands on your thighs and the desk underneath you, both of you out of breath as he loosens his grip on your throat. you lick your lips and glance down at his white seed on the dark-colored wood. giggling lightly, your eyes going back to jisung to see him smiling affectionately down at you.

"here," he reaches for the box of tissues on the other side of the desk, taking a few and wiping your legs and the desk clean before throwing them away. next, he hands you your clothes off of the floor and gathers his own, pulling his jeans and shirt back on as you start getting dressed again too.

once you're both fully dressed again, he pulls you into his arms for a warm hug. he sighs happily hearing your soft laughter, slightly muffled by his shirt.

"please say i can tell everyone that you're my girlfriend now," he mumbles, cheek smushed against your hair. you take a step back, beaming at him as you nod slightly.

"please do."

his face lights up and he can feel his heart flutter, grinning happily down at you. one of his hands comes up to your cheek, caressing your facing gently as he leans down to leave a sweet kiss on your lips.

you feel as if you're glowing as your mouths move against each other, the only thing you're able to pay attention to is jisung. which is why you hardly notice as the door to the office swings open, chaeryeong knealing on the carpet and everyone else huddled together behind her.

"oh, shit!" you hear seungmin exclaim loudly, making you and han flinch apart, seeing them all standing there in shock. there's a long pause where you all just look at each other, no one knowing what to say.

"well, fuck," ryujin speaks up first. "finally!" everyone nods and mutters in agreement, you just rolling your eyes as the boy next to you laughs lightly, putting an arm around you and guiding you out of the office.

"k, guys, let's go," jisung chuckles, walking past your friends and down the hall towards the school exit.

[fart-gate]

SGA

Season 5 episode 9

Notes by me

- t shirt Rodney within the first minute?? Dont mind if I do

- hes volunteering so he can hang out with keller awwww

- is this jealous!john I see...

- "a kinder,gentler McKay..." Youre already kind!!!! In your own way

- ronons going too!!

- is this supposed to make me question whos she gonna pick or something. Pls dont pit Rodney and ronon against each other...come on writers.....this trope is way over done.

- if they werent cowards they would make it poly

- but this is great bc I get rodney/keller content AND ronon/keller content. Which I am digging both (ronon/Rodney is a given)

- this is also pleasing my need for Body Guard Ronon content 👍

- lunch date!

- kidnapped! I love hearing them call her jennifer ❤

- panic!Rodney

- they skipped the theme 😡

- shes aliveeeee

- theres a strange man....his arm band looks familiar? Like goauldish?🤔

- tracker!ronon

- "footprints appeared out of nowhere...like they dropped out of the sky" beaming tech maybe?

- I love determined ronon

- oh shit rodney hide

- WRAITH!!!!!

- when he yells for ronon while running 👌👌👌

- this is so intense

- DID HE JUST SAY "OH SHIT!" LMAO HE TOTALLY DID

SAME RODNEY

- scared!Rodney

- Body Guard Ronon is making my day

- a hunter? That means that the guy that has keller is a runner

- hope you didnt need that head buddy #decapitated

- why did she think running would work. The guy can literally teleport

- Rodney and ronon content is literally all I needed. I can die happy now

- he IS a runner

- I'm having such a good time folks. I love episodes when its just two characters but when its Rodney and ronon together ......im ascending

- tracker!ronon is hot

- Rodney trying to figure it out lol

- ya know this guy is actually kinda nice? Like hes not a huge asshole or anything

- Rodney hopping on one foot while shooting a gun

- good idea Rodney use the wraith tracker thingy. I didnt even think of that

- ungrateful!ronon

- hes got someone that needs a doctor!!! So he IS nice

- Rodney and ronon *constant bickering*

- the tracker is fused to his brain stem. This is fucked up :(

- I guess ronon got lucky with his tracker

- the shot of Rodney and ronon laying underneath the swinging Spiked Log 👌

- a little girl? Maybe his daughter?

- ok I guess not

- he took care of her after her whole village was killed......

- take her to atlantis! Theres probably some tech that could disable his tracker too

- omg he made her a doll. He was MEANT to be her dad 😭😭😭

- "hes not mean. He just pretends to be"

"I know someone like that"

- ok but she could literally be talking about either of Rodney or ronon. Like which one.....blease....blease tell me I need to know....

- I gotta admit. This guys kinda hot

- oh nice keller! Get knifed bitch!

- "take her to atlantis" I just said that

- "fry the circuits" you mean the circuits connected to his brain?Those circuits???

- when he takes his shirt off and theres a shit ton of scars

- just like what ronon had :(

- omg it worked

- ah shit is he dead

- HE LIVES!!!!

- "successfully fried the sucker" FUCK YEAAAHHHH

- oohhh we get to keep the teleporter!

- how smug ronon is when he noticed that keller dragged the guy all the way from the cave

- Ronon YEETS himself at this Poor Man

- when she says please stop and thats all it took for ronon to put his gun down 💕💗💕💗💕💗💕💗💕💗💕💕💗 LOYALTY

- my 2 runners knowing they need each other 😭😭😭😍😍😍

-

- "shoot him!" "I will!" Battle couple

- I N T E N S E

- runner bonding😭😭😭❤❤ this is dredging up a bunch of old emotional scars and memories for ronon

- he just sacrificed himself! 😩 And he took the teleporter thing :(

- ronon just lost his new friend

- WELL HI JOHN

- soft!ronon gives her the doll 😊

- ronon still has feelings for keller???? Where have they been hiding huh??? Its been like a whole season since weve seen those two have a conversation

- "may the best man win" ITS NOT A GAME GUYS JEEZ

- I hope we see that man again. I kinda love him now.

[typicalhippiegirl]

Let's talk about something.

First off, I'm not putting this messed up, peely, gross looking tattoo up for anyone to judge (I'm not happy with it either). I'm putting this out there to help others learn from my mistakes & hopefully prevent them from going thru what I've been dealing with.

There's a tattoo expo coming to town with featured artists from out of town. I find one thru IG whose work looks clean & I like her style so I DM her about setting an appt. Shes got time this weekend yay! no waiting for the expo. -Do you see the mistakes I made already? It's so obvious to me now😓

Saturday's here, I head to the shop (for the first time) for the appointment & the moment I walk in it's like Uh, wtf? Half the shop is taped off & in the middle of a remodel (no dust or active working, just shit all moved around). I brush it off, theyre getting things ready for an expo right? They need people tattooing there, not playing pool so ya, no wonder it's a bit messy.

Next she shows me the stencil and its fuckin huge. Like I specifically said between 6-8 inches max bc it's going on my forearm & i'm not Stretch Armstrong. Shes like Oh I kept it between 8 & 10. Well ya didn't fuckin listen bc what woman has arms that long? So it's resized & idk what we were casually talking about but she def rolled her eyes at me. Look man, I'm a pretty easy going person and depending on the situation I may take a slight without saying shit. Also like low self confidence helps with that right? So anyway, at the point I should have been like Alright dude, we're not really clickin & I'm not feelin this anymore & walked TF out. I didnt. Like an idiot. I'm not gonna lie, part of it was losing put on the deposit the other part was just me telling myself it would be fine despite in my heart of hearts I knew it wasn't.

So we start. Yo, she's a Fuckin. Bitch. I wanted a theme right, this chick is supposed to be a Texas pinup, I wanted certain colors in her clothes. I asked "What colors are we thinking for her?" She actually scoffed and says "These ones" while motioning at her cups. Wow. Ok, well, fuck I don't want to ask her anything anymore so I shutup & go with it.

This shit HURTS. I'm not a pussy when it comes to pain. I have several tattoos, including fingers, toes and a whale that was particularly painful because it goes directly over my very bony shin. I've been cut, I've had a baby without drugs. Mags remind me of getting a razor cut and I find pleasure in the feeling. I can tolerate some pain and this shit sucked. Yo, at the end she switched down to a single needle and that was KILLER. I felt like I was being carved into (which, if you'd ever seen my back you'd know, I know the feeling).

Alright so finally we're finished & I roll into the next day. I'm a bit worried about the appearance and not just bc she looks like she broke her leg. It looks wet. I continue my aftercare as normal: antibac soap & aquaphor. Day 2 I'm researching infections bc it's super painful, red but mostly it's wet. I'm afraid of infection also bc this chick had the trash can right next to the station. I mean Right. Fuckin. Next to it. To the point that the trashcan lid fell onto the pad where my arm is. I want to ask her to move it but she's in such a bad mood I think it'll just make things worse & she'll be even rougher. By day 3 I've tried antibac goo & it seems to make my skin bubble where its been applied so I quickly quit using that. My arm hurts so badly at this point I cant put it down without getting shooting pains up my arm. I let it dry out so things are crusty but at least I don't find them medically disturbing. Regardless, I spend a lot of this day crying. Day 4 I'm still researching infection and come across overworked tattoos, scars & "hamburgering" My heart pretty much drops bc this is it, this is what's going on. What's even more fucked up is that I find this on forums for people learning to tattoo. Like apprentice's first few tattoos having this problem. Rookie shit, ya hear?😑

The pictures are from day 5. You can see splitting along the black lines, there's holes in the sun & near her belt. Oh and that's a thing. The hole is the sun is bc somehow a drop of green got in there so she went over it and over it and over it again with more red. Can you imagine my frustration at that point?

So look, I got this done Saturday, here it is Friday. My skin is very shiny and puckery where the peeling has come off. The scabs are thick af, I've only been moisturizing the places safe to so as of today almost everything but the cactus. Did I mention my arm still really hurts? I can't straighten it, there's pains that shoot out from the center, and why why why is my bicep sore?! I'm really worried about how the cactus is going to turn out. My skin looks bumpy between the cracks of scab. I think she used a crappy cheap green. I'm really left wondering about her experience as a tattoo artist. I'm just saying: My first tattoo was done by a scratcher in a dirty apartment bedroom. He did such a shitty job that I took the machine from him & finished it myself. Might I mention I was 16 and completely coked out of my mind? Also, I didn't hamburger myself and there was no scarring over that disaster of a tattoo (which thankfully no longer exists thanks to the aforementioned painful whale)

This whole thing has fuckin sucked. I don't want anybody else dealing with this. Let me outline some things I should have done differently so if you find yourself in the same situation you can make better decisions than I did.

1. If you're looking on IG for an artist make sure they also post healed pics not just fresh ones.

2. If you're not vibing with your artist it's ok so call it off. Look, a 60$ deposit aint shit to lose in the grand scheme of things, can you get a cover up for 60$? How about bad work or a bad experience lasered off? You can't get those deals, oh who knew? Sometimes losing money is saving it.

3. Don't get shit from travelling artists. Maybe they woke up a 3am & drove 8 hours & now they don't give a shit about anything but going home.

4. If the shop doesn't look great, walk out. Again, whats 60$ compared to your health and happiness?

This is a long post & it's not something I usually post about (lol who am I kidding? Personal tragedies are kinda my thing). It's embarrassing. I'm embarrassed how she came out, I'm embarrassed I didn't speak up, I'm embarrassed I didn't just go to the person I knew could give me a good tattoo. It wasn't even about money, I didn't get a deal on this pinup mess. All I can do is move on. Thank goodness this wasn't my first piece or I may have been totally turned off from getting anymore ink. Now all I can do is continue my aftercare, hope for the best and when the time comes I'll go visit Vinny at American Tradition and get something else on the backside of my arm to distract from this mess.

Much love my inked up friends❤

Hey and if this speaks to you like you've been in this situation or are currently in it, feel free to DM me.

[serenagaywaterford]

5) Honestly, imo it would made a lot more sense if Serena got involved with the Resistance after 2x08. She's a writer and a good propagandist, June's an editor, they could carefully go behind Fred's back. Also, Commander Lawrence is there. They could have brought down Gilead from within. Maybe I'm being simplistic, but I think it would have given a nice msg. An instigator (and impassioned supporter) of a misogynistic (and homophobic) totalitarian regime becomes a victim herself, but decides to

6) to do sth about that monstrous situation she created, even if that means that she will go down with Gilead. Then again, I do understand why the creators didn't go there. This is the handmaid's tale, not the redeemed fascist's tale. Regarding 2x10, oof. I pride myself in having a hard stomach, but that scene made me REALLY, REALLY uncomfortable (and ENRAGED). (A lot more uncomfortable than the previous ceremonies, which were terrible enough on their own, AND Eden's death* .) And given that

7) Serena has the gall to tell Fred that June hates him, because he raped her. Like bitch, stfu, it was YOUR idea! You raped her and used Fred for the penetration. And not only that, but she manipulated Fred/played him like an instrument. She knows at this point that he's a serial rapist/abuser AND in love with June, so ofc he wouldn't decline the opportunity to abuse her once again. It really is telling that June was screaming Serena's name, not Fred's. I wonder wtf was going on Serena's mind

8) to put the baby's life in danger. She could have punished June after the birth if she really wanted to. That being said, I personally think that Serena was kind of OOC in that episode. Not because she's an angel that is not capable of such hideous things. But, after taking under consideration 2x08 and 2x09, I felt that her 180° change came out of nowhere. Especially, since she took a small taste of her own medicine. She knows what abuse/domestic violence feels like. As for the marital rape,

9) it may have been clichéd, but it would also have made sense. A person that repeatedly rapes a woman, beats his wife and is okay with mutilations draws the line at forcing himself on her? Since when do creepers have standards? One last thing, because I've spammed you enough. *I mentioned Eden's death (which made me cry like a baby). How do you feel about her? Bc was disappointed that the fandom blamed a 15 year old child that was forced to marry a man twice her age. Not only that, but she

10) forgave him and kept Nick and June's secret? // END OF RANT // My apologies.

---------

I think I have to put a read more here! Eep!

“Then again, I do understand why the creators didn't go there. This is the handmaid's tale, not the redeemed fascist's tale.”

I had to laugh IRL there. Cos, it’s true. It’s June’s story, technically speaking, not Serena’s. And I dunno but I feel like I suspect that’s where they eventually want to take the show. But S2 is too early for that? I personally don’t know why. There’s no law an American programme must go one for 14 seasons. It could easily be a 4 season series. Or 3! But I’ve read things that Hulu wants to keep it going as long as possible. Huge mistake, imo. Organically speaking, Serena changing course after 2x08, or even, at a push, 2x09 would have made much more sense than this “will she? won’t she?” BS they keep doing with her. I think she’s come around in a way she hadn’t before by the finale (or Eden’s murder). But it still doesn’t seem like it’s something she’ll carry through with--especially without June. It’s interesting how much Serena relies on June for incentive/encouragement. Basically everything Serena’s done in resistance since mid-S2 has been because June has done or challenged her or said something to prompt her. I feel on her own, she would be ~meeker. Even things like, “Hey, so I know this way to possible save the baby... what do you think?” is clearly her going “Please say what I want to hear!” It’s like she can’t just do it herself. She needs June’s input. June was calling almost every shot in 2x08. In 2x09, when left to her own devices, Serena folded. It took June screaming at her in 2x13 for her to do anything about reading. So, without June around I feel like Serena will just go back to old ways. Which is ridic cos she is an intelligent, powerful woman when she actually has the balls. The only thing Serena manages to do on her own is assault, hate speech, and war crimes lol. The easy shit.

That said, I kinda like how they ended 2x08. I loved Fred seeing the rose on June’s bedside and putting all the pieces together and seeing that as the true threat: Serena and June as friends/partners in rebellion. The beating scene was horrific too, mostly cos I’m not one of those weird fans that was sitting there cheering, “YAY I’M SO GLAD SERENA GOT BEAT! SERVES HER RIGHT!” (I just... want to throttle every single person who’s said that. Not necessarily cos I wuv woobie Serena sfm but because way to miss the point of the entire series.) but the aftermath was even worse, imo. June reaching out and attempting to maintain the bond, but Fred managed to break Serena really easily. Like it’s just so awful how easy it was for him to snap that bond, cos he knows his wife and her pride, etc. It was ... so manipulative and evil genius. (Although it doesn’t take a genius to figure that out, Freddie boy.) It was just such a prime example of exactly how they maintain power in Gilead and how they managed to get it working: estranging women from each other. And it was just such an apt way of visualising the concepts June talked about in S1 about keeping women at arm’s length of each other, suspicious, etc. in order for men to keep power. So, in that sense, I thought it was well done. But then... I was like, “OH FUCK THIS. NOT AGAIN. FUCKING SERENA. WHAT A DISAPPOINTMENT. WHY CAN’T SHE BE STRONG LIKE JUNE. UGH.”

I dunno.

Yeah. 2x10. I was “lucky” to have seen that scene ahead of time... so I was prepared when it happened during the episode. But it was still repulsive. Aside from the nonsensical writing of the whole thing, it was just gross. And I think maybe you’re the first person that when talking about this has mentioned how grossed out you are by the other Ceremony scenes. So many people just... don’t really mention them. I remember the article about 2x10 and how the showrunners were saying something along the lines of “Is it really that big of a deal when the same thing has been happening the entire time?” Nobody reacted the same way those times, because the Handmaids are quiet and well-behaved during their rapes, even though, on some level I think Serena and some other wives (IIRC) are completely aware of how terrible it is (Serena even admits as much...but does it anyway uuuggghhhhh.) This is the only time June ever fights back and suddenly not only are Fred and Serena faced with the brutal reality of the act but as the audience we are as well. It’s easy to look the other way when nobody is crying or struggling but WHAM. Fuck that. This is gross and horrible and here is what it REALLY is. And it’s hard to swallow.

June crying Serena’s name was probably the absolute worst part, cos it just makes it crystal clear that everyone knows exactly who is responsible for that rape. June knows who has the power, whose idea it was, and she knows the only one to stop it is not Fred. (God, I fucking hate Fred but like you said, he was totally played by Serena. I don’t let him off the hook for it but really it was her idea, 100% and he just thought “Hell yeah! Sounds good!”)

I feel like as much as Serena understood the Ceremony is pretty bad generally, I don’t think she recognised it as “real” rape until that moment. I feel like a lot of those Gilead people are just so willfully blind and selfish and horrible that they actively refuse to see things. Like Serena’s weird ass enthrall about child brides. I know some of that was to get back at June but she seemed genuinely awed by how beautiful it all was. NO BITCH IT’S NOT. IT’S CHILD ABUSE AND SEX TRAFFICKING. 

I just have given up trying to understand why Serena would do such a monumentally STUPID and DANGEROUS thing if she honestly cared about the baby--which, incidentally, I do believe she truly loves Nicole and babies. As crazy as that is. Even if her love of Nicole specifically is totally a self-centeredness. But she loves babies. Babies above all else apparently, including other women. And she’s not an idiot. Baby health aside, that is a HUGE crime in Gilead to rape a pregnant Handmaid for any reason. I’m supposed to believe Serena is just so massively upset about June’s false labour that she goes mentally insane, even after being subjected to the similar treatment like a week earlier? It’s a huge, nonsensical risk on basically every single level. 

I’ve come to the conclusion, considering all those things you did, it was just bad writing. Her 180 just... is bonkers. I give up. I don’t think there’s any way to logically get from 2x08/09 to 2x10 without taking some leaps. Do I think Serena would punish and abuse June for humiliating her? Absolutely. That’s her MO. She lives for that shit. But rape? It... I dunno again. Fucking weird. I don’t know if it’s on purpose or what, but I do find it interesting that after that Serena never raises a hand to June again, when she had some opportunity. She still punished her by separating her from Nicole but she never physically assaults her again. (Not that I’m saying she’s a changed person or anything. I just thought it was curious but I don’t know if it was deliberate on the show’s part or just a symptom of lack of real opportunity.)

ITA re: the marital rape too. I see no reason Fred wouldn’t escalate to that. It’s all Joseph Fiennes fault. Which is probably what pisses me off the very most. He decided that was just too much for his character? C’mon. That’s too much but what Fred does in the next ep is peachy keen? Oh, right, because in 2x10 we can blame Fred’s behaviour on his evil wife. It’s not really his fault. I see. But you can’t blame Serena for him raping her. Ugh. So, cos, Fiennes doesn’t like it, we lose way more context for Serena--who, lbr, is the more important character in this whole series out of the two of them.

EDEN. OMG BB EDEN.

I’m with you. I was actually pretty disgusted at fandom’s response to her. SHE IS A CHILD. But all these Nick/June shippers were going hogwild attacking her for getting inbetween their precious self-insert fantasy relationship. (I have a particularly low opinion of Nick/June shippers primarily because of their reactions to Eden, tbh. Before that, I was like whatever, each to their own.) This is a story about women and girls in a horrible society, and the focus seemed to be on tearing apart this female child for something she had zero control over. I never got the “Eden is evil and gonna fuck shit up for Nick (and June)!” vibe. She seemed to be a regular girl caught and raised in a misogynistic awful place and just lost. I absolutely ABHORRED the way Nick treated her the entire fucking time. (I honestly hate him so much, and most of that again is due to him since the forced marriage, both in the way he was with Eden and with June. And the number of fangirls fanwanking away all his shitty fucking behaviour and throwing Eden under the bus didn’t help my attitude.) 

She’s a KID. FORCED TO MARRY A GROWN MAN. A man who it wouldn’t kill to just be straight up with her and a little bit kind. Fuck. (Serena’s grooming certainly wasn’t good either. Like, seriously lady, shut up. Stop pressuring the kid to fuck an adult man who hates her by telling her “Well maybe you can like it too!” AHHHHH.)

To me, aside from the babies/children, Eden was the most truly good character on the entire show. She was patient, kind, caring, FORGIVING, loving. Completely innocent bb girl. And then she gets fucking murdered for kissing a boy she actually likes and wants to be with. Which, was ........... wow. Gilead’s hypocrisy killing a pious young girl, presumably fertile... Yikes.

And that little girl was more brave than ANY other character. And maybe some of that is teenage thinking but still she was staring down death and refused to back down. Sure, it’s unreasonable, and an adult likely wouldn’t have made that decision... but also what was her option? Repent... and become a Handmaid? That would have been her fate since she’s an adulteress and fallen woman. And since she truly believes in goodness, and God, and Heaven (presumably), she sees it as a way for her and Isaac to be together. Meanwhile, it took a literal death sentence for Nice Guy Nick to actually recognise he could have maybe been a bit kinder to her. Then she’s asking for HIS forgiveness. AH. Eden bb.

I have a lot of feelings about Eden, and the way fandom treated her. Even when she was killed, fans were still calling her stupid and annoying for her choice--likely the ONLY real choice she has EVER had for herself. (I think that concept gets forgotten.) Like WTF sort of world do you live in that you watch a show about fascism and female oppression and turn around and bitch out the YOUNG GIRL strictly for being a young girl in a fascist society?

But hey, this is the same fandom that calls Janine annoying and crazy, and says Serena deserves to be beaten and mutilated by her husband/Gilead. Way to miss the point of the entire show. But that’s a totally other rant for another time, heh.

Also, anon, NEVER APOLOGISE FOR YOUR RANTS. They are so wonderful to read cos I completely agree! And it’s just such a relief to see reasonable people around these parts. 

[survivoremathia]

Ep. 8 - "I'm Fully Ready to Amass an Army" - Matthew

http://survivoremathia.tumblr.com/post/158417598191/announcement

http://survivoremathia.tumblr.com/post/158440201536/merge-tribe-name-and-buff-announcement

http://survivoremathia.tumblr.com/post/158440315206/reward-2-survivor-auction

RYAN PALMER

So my wonderful alliance, The Fam, is not something I plan on being a part of for very much longer rn. The Jay vote was handled completely wrong. I mean....I'm not upset it was him...but the way we did it....no. First of all I was told we were voting Jay not asked. In fact...Trevor just stated "I'm voting for Jay." What the fuck. That's not how alliances work. And then we didn't tell Isaac or David. And during this Trevor told me that Scott was voting for Isaac but clearly Owen knew he was getting that vote. I'm over it. I talked and apologized to David and Isaac about it last night and basically threw Trevor under the bus to them. Then we merged! And I told Matt about everything. He seems to really like J.D. and Ali so I am fine with working with them if comes to it. Matt really is my #1 ally at this point so I hope things work out. I am sure Trevor/Owen/Lydia will be pissed at me but this is just a game so it's not personal....I just don't like they way Trevor is playing rn.

LOGAN

Okay so full rundown of merge! I think I'm in a bad position right now, but I really want to have a F2 with Duncan. I think between my sunshiney personality and duncan being duncan we could probably get there? Maybe? Idk. Still scared of trevor, but maybe people will see me as less of a threat now that the other bangladesh peeps are gone. RIP rob and eddie, you are missed. 

DUNCAN

Oh my god they killed Jay! That's literally so sad :'( Jay mom wasn't lying when she said this was going to be an intense season. It's already been filled with tears, but now that we've merged, here comes the blood. I don't think I'm on the top of anyone's hit lists, but I'm not in a safe spot  rn so I could  be an easy peasy merge boot. But just happy to be here at the end of the day. Making merge every Athena game? nNut!! Now I have to get through 10/11 more votes....................party! I know Samuel trusts me bc I have him that idol and spit shined his ass the last tribal. Logan and I are kind of at a weird place. We trust each other more than other people but we need to find a fucking home or else we're gonna be get our torches snuffed back to back. As for merging with the other tribe? I'm so relieved to be back with Owen. Like thank the fucking lord there's someone who I can trust again bc all these players are dangerous as get out. I'm a lamb in a pack of wolves. The gag is I'm a wolf in a lamb costume. What I need to do is just law low for a couple rounds while not taking any power position and just strengthen bonds with my tribe mates. Idc who the vote is as long as I can make sure the vote isn't for me and I'm not next on the to go list. I want to do a f3 with Owen and Trevor bc they'll always be a threat as a duo before me, Owen had my back, and I can't get Owen to ever vote out Trevor so why not just work with him? Right? Ummm other things to say? I'm so glad I got the merge tribe name! Oizys! The goddess of misery and anxiety! Everything I've been feeling since this game has begun :-) although it's been stressful I've had a good time bc of how intense this season is. And if I win it, it will be definitely earned. Getting to the end in monuriki was kind of like a cake walk I'm not gonna lie. Getting to the end in motu? Emotionally draining? But with idol help it was manageable to get to the end. This time? Nothing could have prepared me for this. Like, this is so much more intense. It's not only a new ballpark, it's an entirely new game altogether. With merge happening the game has been reset and we'll see if I can play slither or sheep my way into some group. 

TREVOR

https://youtu.be/EwI-sf7ATD0

DAVID

Im here to step it up! I hate all of my alliance for making me not vote with them but also i have no one else I care about so i HAVE to stick with them those BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyways MERGE ITS HERE I DID IT MOM. I still dont have Scott added so theres that

MATTHEW

Merge time! So, a 13 person merge with a 5-4-4 original tribe split is hot as hell and I'm proud of us as a cast for being so messy that we've kept the numbers super even. With the swaps and drama that's been going down, it's really difficult to judge at this point where exactly the lines are going to be drawn for the rest of this game. Numbers wise, people who have had bad blood previously are going to have to kiss and make up just to survive which is GLORIOUS for me, especially because I'm already working on becoming BFFs with Logan again after we found ourselves on opposite sides during the first NuOthrys vote. Duncan still seems to be difficult, however, because we don't even talk but I already hear he's doing things that are contrary to what I want to happen in this game and it's just a whole lotta yikes. As of right now, there's one person that sticks out like a sore thumb as a huge target, and that's my old pal Trevor. I absolutely adore Trevor, we were really close a long time ago and I still view him as an absolute sweetheart and great person, but he apparently hasn't been doing himself any favors in this game. Obviously, he has some major connections; a boyfriend for starters, and a BFF in Lydia. Even though that's only a small three, it's the same sort of fear I had about the Bangladesh trio. When you have a group of people who are so close, they basically function as one vote, which is really hella scary down the line because if you needed to flip someone it's not happening. I don't think it would be absolutely necessary to split them up this early, but Trevor has gone to the labyrinth like every single round. I know he knows about the coveted Door #9, which I've had my eye on since literally round 2 of this game, and it really scares me that he could have a whole lot of advantages that I don't know about. Another thing is that I've been able to meet back up with Ryan, my original closest ally on the starting tribes. According to him, Trevor lead the Jay blindside and left a lot of people uncomfortable. Apparently, he's also been making alliances left and right with basically everybody. I don't doubt this at all, especially because Trevor told me the night we merged that he wanted to bring Sam and I into his majority. That's awesome because it keeps his target off of me and sorta lets me know what he's planning, but it also sketches me out that he's playing so hard. I definitely think he will be able to shoot himself in the foot eventually, but I kinda view Trevor as an easy target that I can use to build trust with other people. When you make a big move, it really bonds people together, which is why I always trusted in The Hydra alliance of myself/Sam/JD/Ali. If we make another big move by dethroning Trevor, I can continue to solidify bonds with a much larger group of people. Anyway, the auction throws even MORE items into the game, because it's not like we already have an ENTIRE ROOM IN THE LABYRINTH where anyone can willy nilly pick up unlimited extra votes at any time right? I've been perusing my options here, but I've been tempted this entire time to bid on what Trevor is bidding on to prevent him from going to the labyrinth. I don't think this is the smartest idea for me because it exposes my hand very early and also would prevent me from going to the labyrinth and getting my hands on whatever is behind Door #9. My best course of action is just to be vigilant when results are posted and beat Trevor to the punch. The current plan of action is to weaken Trevor in any way possible and go in for the kill. I'm fully ready to amass an army to take him down that I can hopefully ride out for a few rounds. I'm definitely going to be putting myself out there, but with Trevor is gone, these people are going to need a shield. And I'm just going to be the shield that they can trust for a while.

OWEN

Lmao so there's a SECRET SECRET on this tribe behind the ninth torch door and I have a big feeling that everyone knows about it. So it's literally become a race to the labyrinth. I've already taken two major L's tonight with the auction items I got being useless and/or disadvantageous SO!!!! Hopefully I can get to that damn door first. [9:00:07 PM] Jay Berghuis (Emathia Host): The labyrinth is now open and I am getting off the train. [9:00:09 PM] Owen: Can I go to the labyrinth pls It literally took me two seconds so fingers crosst huh! Update: Fuck my life. I hate my luck in this game. I'm sixth. Anyways.... This merge of 13? W H E W. Once again, this game has been some kind of amalgamation of seriously weird relationships. There's Trevor, Ryan, and Lydia which is probably my closest like "collective" alliance here. But then there's Matt and David who are other tie-ins to Ryan since the four of us had an alliance too. But then there's Sam, who I want to work with, but I can tell he trusts Trevor more than me, which makes sense since they started together. AND THEN DUNCAN SOMEHOW HAS TO FIT INTO ALL OF THIS because at the beginning of the game I swore allegiance to him, but he has never fit into the other plans or groups I've made?? And then there are the newbies, Ali and JD. I really wanted to start this game with newbies on my side. I REALLY wanted to get to play with new people. And I really do like Ali. But Ali/JD are already doing what Sam says I'm pretty sure, and like.... They want to work with Trevor which probably includes me but as a fifth or sixth? Idk. And then there's like Logan/Isaac/Scott who I think are probably the most on the outs. It's strange because the pairing of Sam/Trevor has attachments to Ali/JD/Duncan and Lydia/Ryan/myself, with Matt falling somewhere in there too. It's a huge shit show orgy of alliances and I don't like it because it's not fun. I don't know why but I'm really not having fun. I know too many people in this game and not in a good way. I don't feel like I can truly do what I want because I have to keep in mind a balancing act with so many other relationships. I don't want to screw Trevor, I don't want to screw Duncan. I don't know. The whole Sam and Trevor thing makes it harder too. And I'd like to think I have Duncan as a number one, I probably do, but I can't be sure whether Duncan will think I'm lying or not. So what I need to do for a bit is just, let things be as they are. There are still 13 people in this game. I've proved in the past that I'm willing to make a move, I'm willing to flip a script, I'm willing to go against a majority. I've done it all. But like... This is a true Greek God-like family where the family tree gets all fucked up cause people can't keep their penises in their pants!!!!!!!!!!!! So I'll let the Gods eat each other's heads, fuck each others wives, swallow each other's children, do all that shit, and at the end of the day hopefully I'll be here in a few rounds to look at all of the pieces left and pick up the ones I want. Until then, my short-term goals are miniscule: don't get voted out, and keep Duncan safe. I literally have no luck in this game. I can't rely on an idol or any other power. I get the same damn message FOUR TIMES in a row. And two seconds wasn't fast enough to get anything else out of it. So :) Let them use their powers on each other and maybe they'll forget about me when they think about all the other people doing shit! Whew!

-

I cannot believe the shit Ali tells me???? Like Trevor and I are talking and Trevor's telling me all this stuff that Ali said about the labyrinth and everything and like sadfkhfjd Ali literally told me all this too and we've been talking for less than 24 hours. It's like... Good because information, bad because everyone else gets the same info?? But now he's trapped in the labyrinth so I guess he can't spill all the tea anymore!!!! oOPS! And JD.... JD. I love this girl because she doesn't quite understand.... And I want to be friends with her too I'm cryin fksjddhfsjd these newbies are something else huh!

LOGAN

SO. THANK YOU MATT FUCKING SUMMERS. Matt comes to me before labyrinth opened and he goes "So there's this locked door that opens post-merge that both Trevor and I know about." And I FUCKING WENT IN THE DOOR CUZ I GOT FIRST PICK. AND GUESS WHO HAS AN EXTRA VOTE?

http://survivoremathia.tumblr.com/post/158455510956/immunity-challenge

JD

Sooooo, I've really not good with auctions. I mean, that really isn't a surprise i guess. But all well. My alliance got some stuff and that's what matters... Partly Because it can still benefit me and partly because now i know what a lot of people got/ what it does

-

I feel... Much bad. Like i feel so stupid for questioning Trevor. This is way your not supposed to talk to anyone outside the game about the game. I shouldn't question him really because him really because i feel like him and Lydia both want to take me or and or Ali to the final. 'i helped carry a newbie with me, while protecting myself' they'll have another thing coming though if that's their plan. 

-

Omg ALI!! I'll come for you! We'll find out..... After tribal though~ it sucks because i cant communicate with my closet partner. So i just hope he's okay with what I do for tribal... Even though it's all basically the same as we've been playing.

http://survivoremathia.tumblr.com/post/158512844281/announcement

ALI

https://youtu.be/Odf-Lk8GHIo

-

Can I just apologise for chewing gum in my last video confessional? It sounds super distracting and annoying- sowwy! :)

TREVOR

https://youtu.be/HaJC-MgoVqU