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#and scary :( but i will try to overcome that
gaytobymeres · 4 months
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I will like driving. I will overcome my fear of driving. I will not let my fear of driving hold me back. I have a licence and passed my test. I have driven before. I can drive. The more I drive the less scary it will become. There is nothing to be scared of. Lots of people drive. Lots of bad drivers drive.
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sysig · 6 months
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Pivotal bright spot (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#ZEX#The Captain#Hhhhhh <3#I am once again ''Who am I without you'' - ZEX relies on Zelnick to affirm who he himself is! His Captain is a huge comfort!#It's the codependency for me <3#The way Zelnick comforts him is so sweet ;; He can be quite attentive! When he chooses to be hehe#He's hesitant and concerned but overcomes it to give ZEX what he needs in the moment ahh he's deserving of being a leader ♥#Like covering his eye for him - and repeating back his greeting! ;;;; How many times has ZEX introduced himself that now it's repeated back#How many times has he said those exact words so confidently that Zelnick can repeat it back to him#So confident in his identity until it's all brought into question - too many pieces that align Just So to know one way or anything!#How would his human love know so many details - but such specific details are concerning as well! What's real and what's not!#What's experienced and what's mentally real - or false! There's so many tricky mental traps set agh it's so good <3#It's so interesting how their character flaws interact with their self-assuredness hehe <3 Zelnick is brash and bold!#ZEX is careful and prideful - so which takes a harder hit in matters of the mind? ZEX is at a disadvantage in Max's body of course#Hghh there's so much about this scene that's so good tho ah#ZEX's worries of his own level of self-delusion bleeding out into accidentally telling lies - he's quite honest! Mostly ♪#But here it's all just deep concern - not of Trying to manipulate but being so far gone that he can't Help but do so! Being out of control!#Of course that would be very scary for him :( And of lying to himself? The kind of thing that's wholly repulsive to him </3#Ughhh this scene breaks my heart because they really love each other and ZEX wants him and needs him but I know what will happen ;;#At least they're able to give each other a bit of comfort in the moment - whether it's true or not (it is true haha) the contrast helps#Even in Max's body and even unsure of himself getting to hold his human - this human - feels real and right <3#He's still worried afterwards of course - takes something convincing to pull him out of it! - and Zelnick continues to comfort him <3#I love palm kisses as well ugh they're so sweet ;; <3 What a lovely way to show his solidarity! Hehe ♥
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wren-likethe-bird · 1 month
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lil rant in the tags
#I want to say something about language surrounding neurodiversity#recently I’ve had multiple people say that I am neuro-insert euphemism here#one was neurospicy which I’ve heard before#the other was neurosparkly#and like I get it we’re trying to be positive and accepting of our diversity and challenges and all that#but the world does not need to sterilize and sanitize neurodiversity even more than it already does#I have adhd that went untreated for most of my life and led to severe struggles with depression and anxiety before I got properly medicated#that’s not neurosparkly#that’s not a cute quirky lil thing that makes me special#it was a significant challenge that I worked hard to overcome and work with in my life#I don’t need to call it something cute because it wasn’t cute#im neurodivergent and I’m not afraid to acknowledge that#and I’m not saying that people can’t use those other terms to refer to themselves if it helps them be positive of their circumstances#do what works for you use the right language for yourself#but when you call me neurosparkly it diminishes what I’ve struggled with and how I work to function with and around my condition#we need to take the fear out of language that says that there is something different about us#we can celebrate it sure#but we shouldn’t be sanitizing it#I hate to quote Harry Potter but fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself#we can life with hard things#we can function with and around messy and ugly and inconvenient conditions and in fact must do so and accept the challenge#there is positivity in the world without sanitizing the scary parts#anyway I could go on but I’ll cut off here#shit wren says#wren rambles#neurodiversity#neurodivergent
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jagerstian · 6 months
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I hate being consumed by the media actually, I end up not creating and instead get stuck in a loop of constant bedrotting and doomscrolling
Hyperfixations turn into an all-consuming disease, and then that in turn becomes a vague brainworm that pushes my consciousness to the back burner and I dont even have the energy to fight back. Just days and days and days of watching life go on around me without feeling like I'm actually part of it at all. Seeing through my eyes as a spectator, not a person
How long do I have to lay on the ground before I'm consumed by the earth? At least then the consumption would be worth something. Maybe that'd make me worth something, too. Or maybe my absence is what has worth, more than my presence ever could
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katya-goncharov · 8 months
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sometimes i do wonder if i should just go travelling on my own, but the idea of it scares me a bit (and also i'm totally broke!)
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scoriarose · 17 hours
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Hi!! I’ve never had a pet snake so this might be a dumb question but is it harder for snakes to see when they’re in blue?
It's not dumb, snake eyesight is different from our own so we can't assume they see exactly how or what we do. For the longest time people believed they couldn't see red, and used red lights to light their enclosures at night- that's bad for them. Please do not light your snake like a rotisserie chicken, they can see it.  Red light can be detrimental to reptiles because it can make it difficult for them to perceive depth, which can lead to mental distress. Red light bulbs can mess with your pet's ability to tell if it is day or night, since a light is always on, and that can cause stress and health and long term sight issues too.
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But back to your original question, yes, snakes have difficulty seeing when they are in blue. Many will stay buried and hidden, not even eating until they've completely shed. That is the norm, and if a snake wants to be left alone, they should be. Sakura will hide most of the time, but I'll sometimes see the tip of her nose near a burrow hole, and I'll dangle something tasty in front of it and she'll eat it- but I won't dig her up if she's having alone time. Scoria will hide unless I'm around- they both know my voice and scent, and Scoria has complete trust in me so much that even when blind she knows I'll keep her safe.
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She allowed me to take her out and feed her today, and then asked for pets. This behavior is unique to her, and if she were not specifically asking to be pet I would not do it after feeding (any other snake might throw up). I'd stop petting her and she'd ask again and again like, "Nope! Need more, come back and pet me." I really don't mind, she's found a way to tell me she enjoys being pet, and that's amazing- and also makes me happy. After many many pets (I guess we had a few days to make up for, I've been leaving her alone for the most part, only saw she was in blue, and then it was food day and saw her looking at me from her mossy hide) she buried herself underground in her bioactive area.
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Perhaps some day Sakura will trust me to touch her while she's in blue too- but if not that's just fine. Sometimes we all need a few days to ourselves.
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Oh, and don't feel bad asking snake blogs questions. It makes us happy when we get nonbot or spam asks! I imagine most of us love sharing about our snakes! And if sharing what I've learned helps lead a snake and their caretaker to a better life or bond then they would have had before, that's such a win for everyone!
#Snakes#shedding#in blue#hognoses#reptiles#Scoria is the most loving trusting baby#She rarely hisses and usually does it to say no#The other day I wasn't sure if she was thirsty and while holding her lowered my hand into her pool so she had an opportunity to drink#She gave a little hiss “no!”#So I took her out. Communication successful. We cuddled a bit before she asked to go back in her enclosure#Sakura wants very much to be social#she is overcoming crippling fear of people#And my goodness she has been so good and so brave#She learns by watching her sister#She saw me hold my hand protectively over Scoria (like a cave) and Scoria nuzzle it#Scoria will often curl into a cinnamon roll under my hand and nuzzle me while we both relax together#our happiest moments are with each other#Sakura saw this and tried to understand#So she asked to come out and actually went into my hand (usually she likes the door open so she can dangle and look around)#And then she went under my hand for about five seconds to try to see what we were doing#She is so shy and skittish so I'm proud she found the bravery to do it at all#She immediately got scared and asked to go back to her enclosure#I did it immediately as knowing they can go back any time helps them feel safer and will want to come out more#Rather than have a scary memory of being trapped and unable to get back home#She asked to come out later and I had her out about five minutes and when I TRIED to put her back she wrapped around my hand!#She wanted to spend more time with me!!!!#She WANTED more time with me#As someone who has been struggling to reach this frightened shy girl#There are no words for what I felt in that moment#I must never break her trust she's worked so hard to get
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bariumsalts · 1 year
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More and more, I've been needing to fight my impulse to tell people what they want to hear/what I think will make them happy. It's a powerful impulse, but sometimes saying what you think the person you're talking to wants to hear means lying, overcommiting, or even harming somebody else. But my brain keeps going, "Aaaaah! They'll be mad at you! You're in danger!". And sometimes they are mad at me, which only makes it harder next time.
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senxitive · 1 year
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Fucking frustrating.
#i cant even verbalize my feelings rn#im upset for Them asking for help KNOWING our situation (basically an ex)#and its not rly that they asked for help#its that they asked for help in a way that i nor anyone could help#theyre having an ocular migraine and seeing spots#they wanted me to look in their eyes#but like there was nothing i was going to be able to see or achieve from doing so#on TOP of our Situation#tried to offer medicine and they basically just walked away mid convo#like because THEY remembered the reality of our situation and probably because i was agitated for the same reason#and i even tried to walk out after them to try and get them to take the medicine i had instead of DRIVING with an ocular migraine which#is scary and dangerous and they still pulled away#then come back finally and say sorry its not your problem and i shouldnt have asked for help#which bothered me more than anything probably#i dont want it to be that way#i WANT to help#but i also hold so much resentment towards them and i get esp annoyed when they ask for my help with THINGS THAT DO NOT NEED HELP#but i also know that its not a good idea for me to exhibit any care or interact because it is likely me who will be overcome w feelings#AGAIN#we dont get that privilege#and it makes me angry#and i was actually having a good day and feeling normal-ish towards them in the first time since everything happened#haha#go figure#think im also upset because i proved to them why we would have never worked#but it doesnt fucking matter anyways and i cant let myself get fixated on it or ill fall back into a neverending hole#and that neither of us trust each other anymore#that fucking hurts and sucks and pisses me off#i almost asked him to feel my forehead for my temperature yesterday cause i felt like a trash cab#can* but decided it was out of our privilege...funny how that works
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jonnywaistcoat · 6 months
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When writing, did you ever suffer from a fear or underdelivering or misrepresenting a topic? If you did, how did you overcome it? I enjoy writing but rarely bring it to the public out of fear that I am either not doing good enough or badly portraying the themes or aspects of what I write.
Absolutely, and on the one hand it's a very healthy fear - it prompts you to do your research and be thoughtful in how you write. On the other hand you've just got to accept that occasionally it will happen. Inculturation is a hell of a thing, and leaves us all with a thousand kneejerk preconceptions and perceptions of the world, some benign and some downright awful. And sometimes they crop up no matter how thoughtful you try to be. And you gotta understand that when it happens and people call you on it, you just have to take your lumps and learn what you can from it.
It doesn't help, of course, that the words you write are only ever half of what your audience reads: five people reading the same book are reading five different books, each filtering the text through a lifetime of psychology and experience. And they will find themes and problems in there you never even considered, and they will also find resonances and beauty in your work that you could never have foreseen.
At the end of the day, writing stuff thats meaningful to you (hell, writing anything at all) is a messy, bruising business, and anybody who tells you there are simple solutions or clear rules to follow is either lying to you or to themselves.
But you can't let it paralyse you. Its like if you're playing football and you're worried about falling over. It's a reasonable fear and you should do your best to avoid it, but occasionally it's gonna happen, and unless you want to spend the whole game just standing still in a field, you've kinda just got to get on with it. Just try not to be one of those writers who's always taking dives and... screaming for the ref to get a free kick? Hm. That analogy may have gotten away from me. I don't actually know much about football.
Point is, I'm aware that this isn't the most reassuring writing advice I've ever given, but yeah, its a messy, scary business. Just do your best. Be thoughtful. Be kind. And always do your research.
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algolstare · 2 years
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No, you have a good head on your shoulders and the right instincts. You're gonna make it. You could have sat there and done nothing and just keep asking for money without shifting yourself. But you hustled and you got your money it's just a shit show from the fuckers from the other end who aren't giving you it on time. I'm praying people step up and see the worth of this and donate even a little, it all adds up. You're prepared to hustle and I admire that. We all just need help now and again.
thank you so, so much. right now I don't have the words to express it adequately enough but I hope you know that it means the world to me to be seen and to be encouraged through this!! I'm still trying to come up with more that I could do to make this work, it terrifies me to ask for help still and I can only feel comfort when I know I've done it myself, so that it doesn't hinge on others seeing me as worth helping, but I still don't see any other choice right now :'D
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leovenuslatina · 2 months
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𝓓𝓞 𝓜𝓔(18+) ୧ ‧₊˚ ☁️⋅♡ PT.1
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈•
tips appreciated
this is all about what your FS thinks while doing you
(as always this reading is 18+) MDNI
ᯓ ᡣ𐭩
✧˖°. IM so so so sorry for being MIA so i decide to make this reading a three parter 💘 AND it was my bday month in June so turn up for me yall and after that i just took a small hiatus 🤭 also i wanna say thank you all for checking on me 🥲 it warm my heart so much knowing you guys care about me 🥹!!i may also be redoing some old PACS of mine so stay tuned !! ✧˖°.
₊˚⊹ ᰔ౨ৎ₊this is just a reminder that tarot isn’t permanent or set in stone YOU decide how your life goes no one or nothing else now take a deep breath and choose the pile that calls to you ₊˚⊹ ᰔ౨ৎ₊˚⊹
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pile one - knight of cups, the sun, two of wands, ten of pentacles
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pile one when having sex your FS thoughts are “don’t finish too quick” and “i hope i last” lmaooo they’re literally laser focused on lasting as long as possible. they literally want to just pound into you and fill you up as quick and as fast as possible but they restrain because ultimately your pleasure is theirs. your FS main thoughts are all about being close to you and how much they love it they adore having sex with you because it means they get to be as close to you as possible: skin to skin limbs intertwined with one another. they also want so badly to be good enough for you your FS wants badly to pleasure you and they worry deeply about how they’re performing for you they take pride in making you feel good and communication is key with this person they loveeeeee when you tell them just how good you feel 🥹 or if you don’t like something they also love that because at least they will know how to better understand your needs. when having sex with you your FS has spent so much time thinking about this special moment they literally always fantasize about sharing really hot intimate moments like this and making you moan all night long. your FS thinks about all the different things he’d like to try and what type of kinks you two may share together your FS seriously is willing to do literally what you want to try they love to make you happy. while inside you pile one all your FS can think about is how you must be too good to be true you’re just too beautiful too gorgeous to be true. Your FS views you as their dream girl and all they think about is how they are so nervous and they hope that you can’t tell just how scared they are to let you down.
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extra messages - creative, charming, dreamer, joy , success, anxiety, gain, goals,
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pile two - five of pentacles, ace of wands, page of swords, knight of pentacles
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Similar to pile one your FS worries about them making you feel good your FS feels like they’re putting on a performance for you. they may even hold off on sex for a while in your relationship just because of how nervous w make them 🤭but eventually their love for you will overcome any negative thoughts they may have because their feelings are wayyyy stronger than anything. i’m also seeing that they have a huge fear of getting you pregnant so they will make sure to have hella protection on hand like always. i’m seeing you and your FS will have lots of conversations about his fears pertaining to intimacy and the bedroom which may sound like a scary thing but i’m seeing one or both of you could have major issues when it comes to being so intimate and vulnerable but it will make you so much more stronger as a couple therefore making your sex life ten times better. when the two of you are making love they will overcompensate in some ways like they have hella toys i’m seeing vibrators and d!ldxs and also getting they’ll get some pleasure from overstimulating you watching you squirm and jerk around it really gets him going like nothing else.
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extra messages- new beginnings, intelligent, challenging, ambitious, dependable, honorable
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pile three - the emperor, knight of wands , four of swords, queen of cups,
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right off the bat pile three your FS is very confident in their size i see him almost presenting himself to you. you know that snl sketch “d!ck in a box” it’s like that bc he’s like really proud of how big he is. Your FS is very confident in how well he can please and you know what he can most definitely back it tf up. he knows exactly how to walk that walk and talk the talk 👏🏾. i’m also seeing he’s like about to put it in and you’re all like “it won’t fit” and he kisses you and smirks and he’s like “i’ll make it fit.” Your FS feels like having sex with you as the most addictive drug he’s every done. literally even one single day without your body your kisses your touch and he’s itching for another hit of you. When having s3x with you pile three your FS thinks about how it feels like being intimate with you heals parts of them that you may not have broken but you play the biggest part in putting them back together again 💞 so even though the two of you are horny freaks in the bedroom your s3x is extremely healing ❤️‍🩹. Your FS thinks about how compatible the two of you are and how good it feels to be with you not just having sxx but outside of the bedroom. Your FS thinks about how luck ly he is to be with you how he truly feels spoiled by the universe to have found their perfect match 🥹
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extra messages- passionate, masculine,determination, impulsive, rest, spouse
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doggirling · 2 years
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i really might need to start tagging reblogs and such again because it’s gonna be a real pain in the ass looking through my blog trying to find a specific post and instead finding like 1000 random reblogs of shit i found amusing
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limewatt · 2 years
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i wanna learn how to rollerblade…
#it’s sick as hell and seems easier than skateboarding#first i think i should remedy being so scared of bikes or ice skating#those are more accessible to me and i still don’t know how to#ice skating in particular seems like it would be apt to try to be able to do before seriously considering rollerblading#esp as the weather gets colder and rinks/park ‘ponds’ start opening up#i oughta learn to ride a bike and get decent with it at least.#riding a bike in general is scary but the main thing that always scared me is the expectation that id then need to actually ride it around#like hell i’m riding it as transport!! there’s fucking cars!! like hell i wanna be a fucking cyclist HERE#i would ride it on grass in parks :) and it would be so scary.#why do i think in-line skates would be any percent easier or safer#i have got to stop living a completely sedentary life though and in-line skates look more fun that walking#but also i am too scared to walk#i cannot keep living life in constant fear!!!!!! i will though.#such a shame i was cursed with extreme cowardice#can’t my impulsive tendencies overcome my cowardice for a good reason.#god the fact that you have gotta try and take baby steps even when you’re scared is so fucked up. i am so scared of everything all the time.#whatever!!! i have to try!!! i hafta try!!! i hafta try!!! i hafta try!!! that’s all that truly matters in the end!!! i have to fucking try!#man in-line skates are so fucking cool#all those action sports like skateboarding and parkour and inline skating are sick as hell#the barrier for the extreme shit is way way too high for me but gliding around on in-line skates seems like something that’s doable someday#lets hope
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akazzzaa · 10 months
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A/N- I saw this on Pinterest and thought it was so cute so I wanna try and write about child! reader x demons (platonic obvs) Credit goes to the artist @lll_123_lll
Summary- Short story for each demon interacting with a human child- Kokushibo, Akaza, Douma, Hantengu, Gyokko, Daki
Genre- Fluff
Warnings- None
Kokushibo
As Kokushibo walks through a peaceful village, he notices a small child playing with a wooden sword. Intrigued by the child's innocence, he decides to approach and kneels down to the child's level. The child stopped and looked at him wide eyed, '' Are you a samurai, mister?'' Kokushibo expression softened, ''Indeed, little one.''
The child jumped up in excitement, ''Wow, Can you show me some cool moves? Pretty please!?''
For a moment, Kokushibo, contemplates the request. Surprisingly, he decides to humour the child. With grace and precision, he performs a series of fluid sword movements, creating an intricate display of swordsmanship.
The child clapped in glee, '' That was amazing! Can I try too?''Kokushibo hands the child a small, wooden practice sword, showing them a basic stance. The child mimics his movements, albeit with less finesse. ''Excellent effort, young one... With dedication, you may become a skilled warrior.''
Douma
''Why do you have fangs? Are you a scary monster?"
Douma was taken aback but then chuckled softly, amused by the innocence of the child. "These fangs are a part of what I am, I need them to eat!''
The child, not completely satisfied with the answer, pointed to Douma's mouth and said, "Can I see them up close? I want to look!!''
Douma hesitated for a moment, contemplating whether to allow the child to get so close. However, he had no ill intentions and decided to humour her curiosity. With a nod, he opened his mouth wide, revealing his sharp fangs. Unfazed by the intimidating sight, The child leaned in closer to inspect the fangs. She reached out tentatively and touched one of them with her small fingers.
"They're sharp," she observed with wide-eyed wonder.
Douma, surprised by the child's boldness, couldn't help but smile. "Indeed, they are. But remember, appearances can be deceiving. It's essential to look beyond what you see on the surface."
Akaza
The moment the girl spotted Akaza, her eyes widened with excitement. She approached him fearlessly, her curiosity overcoming any apprehension she might have had. "Wow! Your hair is so pink! It's like cherry blossoms! Can I touch it?" she exclaimed, her enthusiasm contagious.
Akaza, taken aback by the girl's boldness, hesitated for a moment. Demons were not accustomed to such innocent interactions. However, something about the child's pure fascination touched a chord within him. "Uh, well, it's not something people usually ask," he replied, unsure of how to respond to such an unusual request.
The little girl beamed, undeterred by Akaza's initial uncertainty. "Please? I promise I won't pull it or anything. I just want to feel it! It looks so soft and pretty!"
Akaza couldn't help but crack a small smile at the girl's sincerity. Slowly, he nodded, allowing her to approach. Gently, she reached out and delicately ran her fingers through the strands of his pink hair. The texture surprised her, and a giggle escaped her lips. "It's softer than I imagined! Your hair is really nice, mister demon!"
Akaza found himself chuckling. Emboldened by the positive response, the girl continued to play with Akaza's hair, creating impromptu hairstyles and sharing her infectious laughter.
Hantengu (Main body)
The child's eyes fixated on the peculiar lump on Hantengu's head. "What's that big lump on your head?" she inquired, her concern evident in her voice.
Hantengu's faces displayed a mix of embarrassment and discomfort.'' I- I dont know, I've always had it! I'm not lying this time either!''
The child, being a compassionate soul, couldn't bear to see anyone in distress. Without a second thought, she took a step forward and planted a small, innocent kiss on the lump. Hantengu's face immediately transformed into expressions of surprise and gratitude.
"There, now it's better," The child said with a smile, her eyes sparkling with kindness.
Hantengu, touched by the child's pure heart, felt a warmth spreading through his body. "Thank you, little one. You possess a kindness that is rare even among humans."
Gyokko
Gyokko observed the child doodle in the dirt with a small stick, a display of untapped creativity. Intrigued, Gyokko decided to share his passion for painting with the young artist.
Gyokko teleported beside the child. In his hands, he conjured a set of vibrant paints and brushes, as if summoning colours from the very air. The child's eyes widened in amazement as Gyokko presented the tools of creation.
"Art is like the dance of a butterfly," Gyokko spoke, his voice gentle like a breeze. "Let the colors flow, and your heart guide the brush."
Gyokko dipped his brush into a pool of blue paint and began to demonstrate fluid strokes on a blank canvas. the child, fascinated, mimicked the motions with a mixture of excitement and concentration.
Gyokko and the child painted side by side, creating a masterpiece that mirrored the beauty of their newfound friendship.
In the quiet of the night, Gyokko spoke words of encouragement to the child. "Every stroke tells a story, and every colour holds an emotion. Let your imagination soar like a bird in the sky, young one."
Under Gyokko's guidance, the child discovered not only the art of painting but also the power of expression and self-discovery.
Daki
Daki's beauty was enhanced by the intricate layers of silk, vibrant colours, and elegant accessories. She moved through the crowd gracefully, her presence drawing both admiration and whispers. Unknown to her, a wide-eyed human had been trailing behind, mesmerized by the ethereal vision.
With her innocent curiosity, tugged on the hem of Daki's exquisite kimono, her eyes filled with admiration. Daki, though known for her short temper, couldn't help but soften at the sight of the little girl.
"Wow, you look so pretty!" The child exclaimed, her eyes sparkling with wonder.
Daki turned her attention to the child, a small smile playing on her lips. "Thank you, little one. You seem to have an eye for beauty," she replied, her voice as silky as her attire.
Undeterred by the imposing aura of a demon, asked, "Can I look pretty like you too? I want to wear such beautiful clothes!"
Daki crouched down to the child eye level, her long, silky hair cascading around her. "Of course, you can, little one. Beauty is not just in the clothes we wear but in the kindness of our hearts.''
As Daki spoke, she noticed the simple charm bracelet on the child's wrist. She reached into the folds of her kimono and took a delicate flower hairpin. "Here, take this. It will make you look even more beautiful."
The child's eyes widened as she accepted the gift, a radiant smile spreading across her face. Daki, for a moment, found herself enchanted by the purity of the child's joy.
"Thank you, miss!" The child exclaimed, twirling around with newfound delight.
Daki watched as she skipped away, her heart touched by the innocence of a child who saw beyond the dangers of the world. As the festival continued, Daki couldn't help but feel a warmth in her heart, a reminder that beauty, in its truest form, transcends appearances and lies within the bonds that connect people.
A/N=Added Gyokko and Daki
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dracosleftarsecheek · 4 months
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another one of these annoying notes posts yay
25 notes and I'll post some shitty fanart on here
50 notes and I'll make sure to drink at least a full glass of water every day
100 notes and I'll try and have better relationships with my irl friends instead of always being the odd one out friend
500 notes and I'll start being very openly queer and truly myself even in scary places to overcome some trauma
and finally 1k notes and I'll quit the little addiction I have that's hurting myself
edit: 15 notes per person my poor bloody phone guys
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lucabyte · 5 months
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Finally: The NoHats AU doodles. Plus some sprite edits.
Usually I'd let things speak for themselves and keep my chattering in the tags, but I'll ramble about my context thoughts...
So. First of all here's a link (x) to the Nohats Origin Post for those coming in and going ????.
Anyway. These doodles are not in any obvious chronological order, though Loop going from pilfered bandolier (my headcanon for how Siffrin has all those pockets) -> custom outfit made by Isabeau, is supposed to generally denote 'just after the ending' -> 'a few months down the line'.
And speaking of, Design & Characterisation notes:
Overall: NoHats is suppooooosed to have the range to not just be ULTIMATE MISERY ALL THE TIME (but if you're a major whump/angst fan. go fucking nuts.) so these are supposed to be. The steps toward overcoming and living with grief but. The Misery Is Kind Of The Punchiest Part.... Oops....
Mirabelle: Taking the lead, continuing to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders. In the game proper she's already shown to, while yes, be emotionally fragile at times, be prone to trying to hold the team together. I feel she'd do the same here. It also would help that she'd presumably be medicated again? But I can't imagine her chosen-one anxieities would be super ailed by the death of her friend. I wanted to try and give her more differences? She follows the change belief after all and is thus liable to switch up her style in general... But I didn't have a strong vision for this, so. The ball is in anyone's court. Her design changes here are keeping one of Sif's safety pins a la qpr bonding earring, and has the bell pendant at Loop's (oddly pushy) suggestion.
Isabeau: Taking it. Badly. Depression mullet and beard in tow. However, you best believe he is trying real badly to hide it. Loop very much does not reveal their identity to him because What The Fuck Would That Even Do. That's Scary. but they do try to comfort him while mentally regarding him "off limits". Backs themselves into some very unfortunate corners by alluding to their unfulfilled relationship with their Fighter as a point of common ground. I don't imagine this would go super great when recontextualised later after Loop is inevitably found out. Just in general oh good god what the fuck. this is like a radioactive pit of survivor's guilt.
Bonnie: Taking it probably The Worst. This is a child. Who was already feeling guilt. This is who everyone else is trying to keep it together for. Mirabelle and Isabeau would likely be putting up far less of a front without Bonnie around. They take the hat and take on Pocket Duty. They also have slightly more sif-y hairstyle but... Don't worry about it. They'd have Nille to fall back on once she's picked back up, and Loop almost certainly attempts to redouble efforts on making them feel better but seeing as how closed-off Bonnie can already be, it'd likely be difficult. However they would probably take Loop's identity reveal best...?
Odile: Odile's design.... ! Does not seem to have changed? How odd! Well. I'm sure she's dealing with things in a regular and non-cloistered manner. I already think that a regular Postcanon Activity for Odile could be her finding out about the potential for sif/loop to translate books and thus Knowledge in their native tongue assuming that ability sticks around postgame. Something something culture can never truly be wiped out etc etc. But putting it in this context. Makes it more desperate, more of a deflection for something else.
Loop: Helpful Loop. Well. They win! I feel like the entirety of ISAT being about Siffrin's mental state means I don't need to spill much ink here? You get it I think. I can't outdo the source material man. Anyway I imagine Loop is given clothes by Isabeau before they know who they are, but after they've become genuine friends. The outfit is in genuineness, on both sides from Loop and Isa, in having the cloak be a nod in respect to Siffrin, since Loop's "shared culture" would have to come up vis a vis cultural funerary traditions. Hard to avoid divulging that one...
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