#and shoutout to that one tweet from 2019 that helped me find this moment again without sifting through all his 2019/2020 liveshows sdjfs

[reunitedinterlude]

crocheted crotch-eted (2024 // 2019)

[glassc0ffin]

Feedback

hee hoo i wrote a tma fic in the form of frankies statement to the institute

words: 2245

warnings: none, except for phil collins and thrown staples

pairing: oc (frankie james)/jonathan sims

[[MORE]]

FRANKIE JAMES:

-That a tape recorder? It's so cute! We've been trying to get one for the station, just so we can say we have one - y'know, to impress the hipsters - but they're well out of my budget. How did you get one?

ARCHIVIST:

I - Uh, it was here when I got the job, it was my predecessor's.

JAMES:

Wow, well, I'm jealous. [GIGGLES] A little tempted for thievery…

ARCHIVIST:

...Right. Would you like to begin your statement?

JAMES:

Oh, yeah, of course.

ARCHIVIST:

Alright. Statement of Frank James, radio DJ at -

JAMES:

Frankie. 

ARCHIVIST:

[PAUSE] Frankie James, radio DJ at Tranzishon Rock, London, regarding…?

JAMES:

Uh, a series of...obscene phone calls from an unknown person. 

ARCHIVIST:

Recorded direct from subject by Jonathan Sims, head archivist of The Magnus Institute, 21st of September, 2019. Statement begins.

JAMES:

Ah, so, okay. [SIGHS]

ARCHIVIST:

...Are you alright?

JAMES:

Yeah, I just… [SIGHS] I have a hard time...getting words out. I'm not...articulate.

ARCHIVIST:

Would I be able to help?

JAMES:

How would you? It's in my head.

ARCHIVIST:

[SIGHS] You'd be surprised. [PAUSES] When did it start? The phone calls.

JAMES: 

On my show. I have a radio show at Tranzishon, late nights, 7 till 10, every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Towards the end of the show, from 9 till 10, we do a requests hour. Listeners call, or text, or tweet, or send a carrier pigeon, to ask us to play songs. The last one is only if they're fancy.

ARCHIVIST:

[SNORTS]

JAMES:

[PAUSES]

ARCHIVIST:

[PAUSES] Sorry. You were saying?

JAMES:

[LAUGHS FAINTLY, A LITTLE BREATHLESS] Ah, yeah, erm… [AMUSED] I can't quite remember where I was…

ARCHIVIST:

The requests hour?

JAMES:

Yes! Okay, so, er, I was announcing the requests hour, reading out our phone number and the twitter account, and as soon as I had finished reading the phone number, we got a call. I- We've got a small team of techies - well, two - that handle incoming calls, texts, tweets, whatever. One, Paul, looked up from the switchboard at me and put me through to the listener, and I did my usual spiel. Y'know: [RADIO VOICE] You're listening to Frankie at Tranzishon rock, dear listener, what's your request?

[NORMAL VOICE] And they didn't say anything. There was dead air for a couple of seconds, then as I began to say 'Anybody there?' my headphones are blown out by the sudden high volume. The person on the other end must have been right up on the mic, because there was an immense amount of feedback and white noise. I'm sort of thankful for that, 'cause it nearly covered up what they had to say.

[PAUSES] [DEEP BREATH] I... don't want to repeat what they said. Suffice to say, the techies had some lightning speed reaction time when they cut off the line. There was more dead air as I tried to recover from the shock, I think I made a joke about them wanting the number for Babestation instead.

ARCHIVIST:

[LAUGHS]

JAMES:

[PAUSES] [LAUGHS, WEAKLY] Yeah… Ah, so, w-we banned that number so they wouldn't call again, and I ended the show with Pretty Fly (For a White Guy) by The Offspring. Because I cope with bad experiences by burying them with humour. 

[UNDER HIS BREATH] Give it to me, baby. [EVEN QUIETER] Uh huh, uh huh. 

[COUGHS]

Uh. Anyway. I went home, had my day off, and went back into work the next night and tried to forget about what happened. And for the most part, I did. The first 2 hours passed without incident, and then when I announced the requests hour, I joked about the caller the other day. My techies looked at each other nervously as I laughed. I gave them a questioning look, but said nothing. I'd ask them after the show. I read the number and twitter and waited for the requests to roll in. Again, we had another phone call straight away. I said my spiel, and my heart was in my throat as I waited for the caller to speak. I looked at my techies. Sheena, my other tech, shrugged at me. I sighed, about to give them a signal to cut them off and answer someone else when the feedback returned, louder and more harsh this time. I threw my headphones onto the desk in front of me, but I still heard the words spilling out of them.

[SWALLOWS] Y'know that scene in Silence of the Lambs? Where Lecter asks Clarice to repeat what that other inmate had said to her? Y'know - [SOUTHERN AMERICAN ACCENT] 'He said, I can smell your cunt.'

ARCHIVIST:

Good lord.

JAMES:

Yeah. It was a bit like that. There was a lot more...squelching with mine, though. Ugh. The techs cut the call, as I knew they would. I was more than a little pissed off. I started playing a song someone had tweeted and turned off my mic, turning to my techies. I asked them, why didn't you ban them like you said you would last time? Sheena said she did, that she guessed they were using a payphone or something to harass us. Paul tentatively asked if we should inform the police, and I told him to F off. We've had no help from coppers in the past when we had Nazis and TERFs flooding our lines calling us all sorts of shit, why would they help now? Cops avoid gays like the plague unless its for propaganda. So, Paul backed down. 

Before the song ended, I quickly mentioned that maybe we shouldn't take calls anymore, just texts and tweets. I didn't want it to come to that, not really. I ended the show again with a song from a small local band, earning me a shoutout on their twitter. That felt good, at least.

I went home, picking up a 6-pack of Stella on the way. I wanted to make sure I slept that night. As I sat on the tube, a good 20 minute journey to my flat, my phone began to ring. At that moment, it didn't strike me that it shouldn't have been able to get any reception underground, yet there it was, ringing in my hand. I was more annoyed at it interrupting my music, but I answered anyway. It was the same fucking caller. I couldn't hit the 'disconnect' button fast enough. But I still heard what he said. [LAUGHS SHAKILY] At least the guy has some imagination. Never the same thing twice. [VOICE BREAKS, STUTTERING] I looked around the tube to see if anyone would be witnessing my quickly approaching panic attack, and finding no-one in the compartment with me, I broke down. The next 15 minutes passed with a blur, and then I reached my station, tears stopping as fast as they had came. 

I stepped off the tube and started walking in the direction towards my flat, and my phone started ringing again. My breath caught in my chest as I froze on the pavement, phone vibrating away in my pocket. I picked it up, screen lit up and facing toward the ground. Slowly, I turned it up, half shutting my eyes, as if the person on the other end wouldn't be able to see me if I couldn't see the phone. [SIGHS] Stupid. It was my mum's phone number. I answered, talked with her for a little bit - she lives a ways away, I don't get to see her a lot - and said goodnight when I got to my flat. I got blackout and passed out on my couch when I got in. Yeah, I know I'm a lightweight. When I woke up at 12pm, my TV was still on, replaying the DVD menu for Black Christmas - the 1974 version. I guess in my Stella-crazed state I was desperate to watch it again.

The entire day, I left my phone switched off. My boss won't be too pleased with me, especially after 2 shows of mine had very explicit profanity, thanks to our mystery caller, but I didn't care. 

[PAUSES]

Listen, I-I know, alright? I know it sounds stupid, I know I probably sound like a pearl-clutching housewife, how scandalous that I'm terrified of a few dirty phonecalls, but...you didn't hear them. You wouldn't want to hear them. Paul, Sheena, and I certainly didn't. At least they only heard them at the station…

Thankfully, on the Friday, we had decided not to do requests hour. Yeah, a few listeners would be upset, but the more loyal listeners would understand when one person ruins it for everyone else. We just settled for the last hour of the show to be requests from Paul and Sheena. Strangely enlightening, but I don't wish to hear any more Phil Collins than is necessary. And with Paul, he seems to think 10 songs is necessary. It isn't.

ARCHIVIST:

[OFFENDED] What's wrong with Phil Collins?

JAMES:

Apart from the fact that we're a punk rock station?

ARCHIVIST:

Fair enough. You were saying?

JAMES:

Okay, so, ah… I was on my way home again, and had all but forgotten the mystery caller. We'd figured it had just been some weirdo that got bored of us cutting him off. But as I was walking from the tube station from my flat, I heard that ear-splitting feedback again. Doubling over in pain, I reached up to pull my headphones off, only to find that I had left them at the radio station. I pressed my fists to my ears, crumpling to the ground as the whine of someone being too close to a microphone pierced my eardrums. I felt something cold trickle out of my ear. I didn't have to check my hand to guess that it was blood. I hyperventilated as I lay on the ground. Something was shouting, screaming at me, screeching slurs and threats of what it wanted to do to me, what it will do to me. I remember vomiting, and then blacking out as the overlapping cacophony reached a fever pitch.

I woke up not too far from where I had passed out, £10 and a phone lighter. It was probably some homeless guy who took them, and honestly, I'm not too bothered. I'm more angry no-one took me to a doctor or something. I think, the last thing I saw before I passed out was someone standing in the distance. Staring. Yeah, it could have been some rando, but the image stuck with me.

They were silhouetted against the bright signs of the takeaways on the street behind them, hands stretching too far down, a little too tall. I might have been delusional or in the throes of oxygen deprivation or something, but I swear I saw it smile as I lost consciousness. 

I haven't been back to my flat. I've been staying with Sheena for the past couple of days. She's alright, but I can tell she wants me out. She doesn't want what's happening to me to happen to her. 

ARCHIVIST:

Statement ends. ...Are you alright?

JAMES:

[SNIFFS] Er, I - Uh, I should be, in a bit. Thanks for, uh...I don't know. Listening?

ARCHIVIST:

It's my job. 

JAMES:

Is that it then? What happens now?

ARCHIVIST:

We'll get in contact with you if we find anything out.

JAMES:

Oh! Then, you'll probably need this then. [SCRIBBLING]

ARCHIVIST:

[SHOCKED NOISE] Wh- What are you doing?

JAMES:

Giving you my phone number, what's it look like?

ARCHIVIST:

Well, I'm sure you can give it to me on paper, not my hand! And didn't you say your phone was stolen?

JAMES:

[SCRIBBLING STOPS] Oh. Yeah. Well, if I ever get it back, then. You know where to call.

ARCHIVIST:

R-Right. Goodbye, Mr. James.

JAMES:

Frankie.

ARCHIVIST:

...Goodbye, Frankie.

[CLICK]

[CLICK]

ARCHIVIST:

Mr. James -- Frankie's behaviour was certainly... strange during our conversation. He kept looking at me, pausing and then quickly looking away again, having to restart his sentence whenever he did so. Maybe he realised that he had virtually no evidence to back up his testimony. The only witnesses we have are this Sheena and Paul, and they can only back up the instances of the phone calls happening at the radio station, not anywhere else. Conveniently, Frankie does not appear to record his mobile phone calls, so we have no evidence the phone call on the tube happened. Assuming it even could happen.

Furthermore, his constant stuttering only made me think he was making the whole thing up. Maybe he just wants a story for his show. He --

TIM:

Knock, knock. Was that Frankie James?

ARCHIVIST:

Yes, i-it was -- Tim, saying 'Knock, knock' is not a good substitute for knocking. 

TIM:

Did I hear you saying that he was making it up because he was stuttering?

ARCHIVIST:

Well, yes. It's a common tell for lying.

TIM:

It's a common tell for a huge goddamn crush.

ARCHIVIST:

What?

TIM:

Oh, come on. You didn't notice?

ARCHIVIST:

No, n-no, I didn't.

TIM:

Jon, he was the colour of a tomato. He wrote his phone number on your hand! Look, he even drew a heart, for god's sake.

ARCHIVIST:

[MUTTERING] Hmm, yes, I suppose it does look like a heart… No, don't be ridiculous, Tim.

TIM:

[IN A SING-SONG VOICE] Jon has got a boyfriend, Jon has got a boyfriend!

ARCHIVIST:

Are you twelve?! Get out! [SOMETHING CLATTERS ON THE GROUND]

TIM:

Ow! Stop throwing staples at me!

[CRASHING SOUND]

[CLICK]

[ellalovertay]

According to my birth certificate, I turn 18 this year. It's weird because I am now a legal adult and can do legal adult things… whoa. Through 18 years of my life I've had many ups and downs, mistakes and accomplishments and laughs and tears. So as my “kid” years come to an end and my adult years pave the path ahead of me, I thought I'd share some lessons I've learned before reaching 18. Because it's 2020 and sharing is caring.

1

I've learned (and am still working on) accepting that it is okay not to be okay. When people ask you “how are you doing” there is nothing wrong with the response of “I'm not doing so good.” I know how hard it can be to express honesty and feel vulnerable but that’s human emotion, it's good. There is nothing wrong with not being okay, and you are allowed to experience that, it shouldn't be something that is feared. Next time you feel like that, say, “I'm not fine right now but I am going to be fine soon.”

2

I found what makes me happy. Like not just a, “Oh yeah I’m great today” kind of feeling, but a lifelong happiness feeling. I've been writing songs since I was 9 years old and in the past 6 months, songwriting has been the only thing keeping me on my feet and putting a smile on my face. Lyrics from other artists (shoutout to Taylor Swift Selena Gomez and Halsey) have always spoken and resonated deeply with me. So when things in my life started going downhill, I wrote my own lyrics. I hope one day people will experience my lyrics and they will be able to help someone like they helped me.

3

Trust is important. In any type of relationship with friends, family, pets etc, trust is key. A lot has happened in my life recently. Over the course of 6 months I've completely lost my trust in everyone and everything. I'm slowly working on building it back up again and learning how I can trust... but that is easier said than done.

4

It's okay to be confused about what's going to happen in the future. I have changed what I want my job to be at LEAST 5 times since 9th grade. Some examples include a marine biologist, a BAU member in the FBI, a criminologist, and a neurologist. Of course all of these things strike interest in me and make me happy, but I can't see myself there in 10 years. I've learned music is important to me and I want to study song/lyric writing along with vocals and music industry in college, with hopes to become a singer/songwriter.

5

Halsey has KILLER music. I knew around 3 of her songs before her album “Manic” dropped. I stayed up for release, downloaded the whole thing, listened to it and fell in love. Then tour tickets dropped, I got early access and I bought them in english class. She is really phenomenal and I love her dearly.

6

Some people in life will backstab you, others will stand by your side. But true friends will talk sh!t about the backstabbers and want to kick their asses for you. I've found that person and I'm so glad that she is in my life. And for once in my whole life, I feel like I have a best friend who won't just drop me.

7

I’ve learned you don't owe anybody an explanation. If someone asks,” How are you” and you say, “Not good” you are not entitled to state why. That is for you and your mind to know. If your best friend asks “do you want to come over/” and you say “no” Guess what… you DON'T owe them an explanation as to why! Don't ever feel pressured to explain things to people about yourself or situations you're in.

8

I'm literally a spot on Libra. My star sign is SO COOL! Up until June I never cared about my sign or horoscope, but when I found out the Libra symbol was the “Scales of Justice…” I read up on some stuff. I was SHOCKED by how much I fit my sign. Example being: we get irritated when people ask us stupid questions... Like if that isn't me then what is???

9

Being 18 means I get to vote! With everything going on in the world right now i've taken to educating myself as much as possible before november. I'm undecided (edit: not anymore😆) and excited but scared.

10

When your parents say, “Don't talk to strangers online” don't listen. I've made some of my best friends online (through Taylor, omg shocker) and I don't know what I would do without them. So here's a toast to my real friends: Vivian, Ella, Emily, Jordan, Delaney, Megan, Shannon, Sophie, Lauren, Brooke, Addison, Lexi, Hayley, Ry, Mikayla, Liv, Meghan, Rachel, Kaylee, and so many more <3

11

I've learned that everything happens for a reason. When I got confirmed, the idea that “everything happens for a reason” really stuck with me. The belief only grew stronger after I attended Kairos in November 2019. I truly believe God has a plan and everything happening in my life is going to end up being a part of some greater, master plan. God gives the hardest battles to his strongest warriors and just know that the shadows can’t last forever. Storms help the flowers flourish, and afterwards comes a rainbow.

12

My mom is a warrior.

13

Taylor Swift. That's it. That's the tweet. Very long story short I’ve listened to Taylor since fearless in 2008. Thanks mom! In 2012, when “RED” came out, I memorized lyrics and wanted concert tickets. The same thing in 2014 with “1989.” It wasn't until “reputation” in 2017 that I understood the “fandom” and became a full on swiftie. Fun fact: I have a stan account on twitter, tumblr and instagram where her management team follows me! Taylor has helped me through so many hard times. Her and her music have made me laugh, smile, cry, and dance. She is one of the only constants in my life and she treats her fans like her best friends. I have made so many friends through her that I can't wait to meet. And one day, I will meet Taylor Swift.

14

I can play instruments! I learned the ukulele when I was 12 because Tess was learning guitar. I hated it. I felt so trapped and the instructor was sooo mean. I wanted to play chords and sing Taylor Swift. Nope. He had me playing strings to old folk music. Long story short I quit.About 2 years later i picked it back up from the depths of my closet and taught myself strings. I got bored and put it away. On july 25th 2019, I picked it back up and this time, I fell in love. I quickly learned chords and by september, I was writing my own music. I thought to myself, “guitar cant be that hard” so I went and took tessa's guitar. I hated it. It was way to big and my hands were far too small. Then, a few months later I tried again. No change. Quarantine was now here and I was bored out of my mind. So… guess what I did on March 19th 2020… learned guitar and fell in love. Now, I'll play until my fingers bleed. Guitar and Ukulele make me so happy and the moral of the story is that if at first you don't succeed, try and try again.

15

Karma is real. If someone does something sh!tty to you, it will come back to bite them in the butt. Trust me.

16

I am tiny. Sadly, I'm done growing and I've been done since 8th grade. I'm forever 5 foot ½ inch- the ½ is VERY important. Also my foot size is forever a 4. Basically it sucks. I can't find any shoes that aren't pink, sparkley, have a 1 inch heel and glow up. With that being said s/o to Nordstrom rack for carrying my size.

17

I've learned to take in every moment. You never know when you won't be able to do the simplest things. Everyday we take so many things for granted. So just let every second of everyday sink in and let it resonate with you because there will never be another moment like that one.

18

I learned that I am allowed to format my own opinions. The beliefs that I have and I value don't have to be the same as everyone else's beliefs: especially my family and friends. I have come to the realization that I view situations in a different light than those around me and it's 100% okay for me to speak my mind. As a young girl I am allowed to grow up and base my social, personal and political opinions on what I believe is right and wrong, not what other people push me to believe.

[margathecreatughhh]

thoughts

uhhh hi i haven’t written on here since last year but i’m back.

the dude i referred to in my previous posts broke my heart. i’m okay now though, no more anger, sadness, or nostalgia.

that’s not what i’m about to talk about now though. i was watching 2019 BTS Festa video, the Bangtan Attic one. I remember watching it when it came out and the advice they said in the video actually helped me deal with the issues that ensued after the break up. 

i was actually pretty miserable from july last year and that kind of dragged on until early april of this year. 

i’m currently self-isolating right now, i haven’t done my schoolwork or whatever. i’ve been reading a lot to keep my mind of things. when i didn’t read, i’d watch youtube videos or fangirl over BTS on social media. 

honestly, i’d love to talk about what happened the past few months, but i can say truthfully that i’ve lowkey let go of the things that made me miserable? i have moments when i just want to cry though. that’s actually really better than having to accumulate all my emotions and just going off in one setting (feb 29, payag payag. i c u). quarantine has actually given me a lot of time to just reflect on the things that happened the past few months. thinking about them now, it still makes me emotional, but not as much as it used to when i’d get into a panic attack or i start drowning in self-loathing. as i’m typing this though, i feel a little bit choked up but that’s what happens when i drink caffeine at 2 am so i can’t fully blame my emotions.

i have no one to talk to here in my dorm. i live alone for the first time in my life because of issues with roommates in the past. since moving here, it did feel a little bit lonely. i don’t have anyone to talk to since joy is also pretty busy but i don’t hold that against her because we live in different time zones now and i respect her priorities. not that i think she would never prioritize me, she’s actually one call away, i just respect her decision to become more independent in a new environment. anyway, with the things that happened in the past few months, i’ve decided to keep things to myself (not anymore though, i’ve chosen to talk about the things that bothered me to other people. shoutout to nina c). i always used twitter as an outlet because the idea of having to condense your thoughts into a tweet has always been enough. people didn’t think the same though, so i’m off of my personal twitter account and migrated back to my stan account. i think it’s better because i’m less involved in the drama that goes on with irl people. i’d say that it was a breather to just put all my energy into something else, which is fangirling. 

sometimes i slip into sadness but its rare. i know i’m probably speaking too soon but i guess i feel like i have to bring it up so i can acknowledge how its actually happening. i’m trying to get back into my hobbies and leisurely activities but that, of course, is going to be hard. 

i came back onto tumblr because my dumbass started thinking about how i know when i can finally break out from my social anxiety. before i get into that though, i think i have to talk about how i finally acknowledged how i have social anxiety.

i’ve always known i was indifferent towards people. indifferent in a way that i felt like i was always an outcast or that people didn’t want me to be part of something. then, idk i just arrived to the point that it doesn’t really matter who doesn’t want me in a certain situation because i know there are people who do want me to be part of something. thoughts like that give me hope, you know? i’ve started thinking about not looking into situations too much and constantly asking myself “does she not like me?”, “did i say something to offend her?” etc. 

the self reflection i experienced a few weeks ago did help me sort my thoughts out. i started thinking about who i was before i became miserable last year. i knew i always had a positive outlook in life, and i was quite an optimist. those were what kept me sane and it really helped with anxiety. when i came to these thoughts during self-reflection, i realized i’ve been asking myself the wrong questions. “why would it matter if the person likes me or not?”, “should i adjust my tone and my way of speaking to avoid offending others?”, etc. i think shifting into this mindset is better. as i type this out, i think to myself, “am i doing this for the sake of others?”, “am i being a people-pleaser by considering these thoughts?”. the answer is no. before i was subjected into the unbearable pain and misery a few months ago, i did have this mindset. i was always so thoughtful of others, and that itself made me happy. i knew that if i was kind to others, if i was positive around people, that would make me happy too. of course there are some setbacks into this mindset such as when people really be testing you and your patience, but that’s the thing to it- you’re supposed to be patient. thinking about these things again, it reminds me how much i changed after what happened the past few months.  back then, i wouldn’t have had to remind myself these things or submit to self-reflection because it came naturally to me. i was the one who never thought about reciprocation. i didn’t count on other people’s well-doings towards me. i never thought “i’d do this for them, why wouldn’t they do it for me too?”. i thought about this a lot and have cried over it. again, i did some self-reflection. i messaged the people i wanted to message, the people who have made me feel important and helped push me into self-reflection. i honestly feel like i lost myself these past few months and i don’t think it’s something i want. i message my friends who have listened to me ramble about the things that bothered me, my friends who checked up on me during ecq, my friend who actually bothered to reply and exhibited the same energy when i messaged her. i also apologized to one of my blockmates for my behavior the past few months, i didn’t get a reply. a tugging feeling claws inside me but for the most part, i really don’t care. 

when i realized that i have finally gained a solid grasp to who i was, who i want to be, and who i want to continue to be, i sought comfort through words. that’s when i decided to rewatch 2019 bts festa out of nowhere. 

the members actually said a lot of things that are great for the mind. i’m gonna list a few:

- i am my own hope

- it happens

- i’m happy seeing the members happy

i’m sure there were a lot of things i skipped over. they also talked about having to keep up with a persona and that honestly dug in deep too because i know i feel like i always have to act a certain way when im with different people. of course it wouldn’t be easy to shift into a more natural version of myself when im around all these kinds of people but i’ll be sure to work on it more. 

anyways, these words helped remind me of who i was and who i want to be. i want to be my own hope, because what and who else will you have to hold onto besides yourself? before talking about this, j-hope mentioned that he started embodying the BTS version of him. j-hope always said “i’m your hope” and he said that he believes there is no distinction between j-hope and jung ho seok because when he kept being hopeful as j-hope, it kind of just rubbed off on jung hoseok too. it’s like, the more hopeful you are, the firmer your grasp onto hope is. this is why i’ve decided to hold onto my own sense of hope: hoping that i do get a better future, hoping that i do grow into a better version of me. suga also discussed the phrase “it happens” and honestly i’ve been trying to live through that phrase. i remember always asking myself the past few months “why did it have to happen to me?”, “do i deserve everything im going through right now?”. when i got into self-reflection, the first statement i remembered was “it happens”, and that’s true. we have no telling of why or how things happened, but what we do know is that it did. there’s no other way we can deal with it other than having to move on and let go from what’s holding us back (e.g. me holding myself back from growing out of my developed pessimism), because again, it happens. taehyung was the one who said “i’m happy seeing the members happy” and i feel like that also contributed a lot to help me find myself again. it reminded me of who i was and how i used to be so hopeful, being an advocate for others and of course being an optimist. i’ve felt cheated by life the past few months that i grew selfish. i have every right for selfishness but there were moments when i exuded that in the wrong situations. of course, i have every right to be selfish after what my ex had done to me before, during and after our relationship. however, i shouldn’t be selfish all the time. there are times when this world requires selflessness and i really want to embody that again, because selfishness honestly isn’t cute. 

despite adopting an optimistic mindset, i think there should be an emphasis on being realistic too. i’d like to call this as optimistic realism but i honestly don’t know what im talking about hahaha. i can describe this as holding onto a more positive attitude towards things, situations, and people, but also keeping things realistic. you could treat people without having to consider the thought of them having underlying anger or hatred towards you (this is being optimistic in my opinion), but also approach them without expectations (realistic). expectations might be the biggest heartbreak of them all in my opinion, however, we really cannot blame ourselves for holding onto them. we have every right to expect from people who we really should be expecting from. (like how i expected my ex to straighten the fuck up but im a clown). the expectations im referring to though are the ones that are too much from people who can possibly be just temporary in our lives. like i’ve mentioned earlier, when you expect people to reciprocate the same energy you give them. this is an unfair expectation because not all people are like you. you know how people say we all have different love languages? i think it goes that way. i was bummed a few friends didn’t message me a happy birthday, but whenever i mentioned them in things or whenever i said something alarming on social media, they always replied or they always checked up on me. with the person i’m trying to be, i want to be able to acknowledge these things too because the small things matter. 

i think im rambling at this point, but i hope i got my thoughts across. 

i’ve actually put off from writing because i became too critical of how i wrote. right now, even though im just typing out my thoughts, i initially wanted to sort them out and organize the ideas and things i had to say. then i reminded myself that if i continue restricting myself into such trivial matters, i wouldn’t be able to grow and find out who i really am, what makes me comfortable. i find out writing without organization is freeing honestly, just like what i’m doing right now. 

i’m gonna write a new post on social anxiety in a few minutes because i have a lot to say lol. sorry if the ideas i presented in this text post are too unorganized. figure it out with reading comprehension mwa

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BIGGEST Moments from Met Gala 2019

BIGGEST Moments from Met Gala 2019

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BIGGEST Moments from Met Gala 2019, New Hollywood Princess Celebrities.

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New Hollywood Celebrities 2018 Celebrity News 2018 Celebrities by Walt Hollywood Studios Motion Pictures is an American film distributor owned by The Walt Hollywood Company. Established in 1953 as Buena Vista Film Distribution Company, the company handles theatrical distribution, marketing and promotion for films produced and released by the Walt Hollywood Studios, including Walt Hollywood Pictures, Walt Hollywood Animation Studios, Pixar Animation Studios, HollywoodToon Studios, Marvel Studios, Lucasfilm, Hollywoodnature, and Touchstone Pictures. The division took on its current name in late 2007, which before that had been Buena Vista Pictures Distribution since 1987.

Who married Sleeping Beauty?

Prince Phillip tells his father that he has met a young woman in the forest and that he will marry her, against his father’s will. Unbeknownst to Hubert, this young woman is Aurora under the disguise of “Briar Rose”, the fake identity the fairies have given her to protect her from Maleficent.

How can I watch Celebrities on my phone without using data?

Download videos to your Android device, iPhone, or iPad 1. Make sure your device is connected to Wi-Fi or your mobile network. 2. Open the Google Play Celebrities & TV app . 3. Tap Menu Library. 4. Next to the Celebrity or TV episode you’d like to download, touch the download icon.

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Hollywood/ABC Television Group. Hollywood/ABC Television Group operates Hollywood’s broadcast television, cable television and radio businesses. ESPN, Inc. Walt Hollywood Parks & Resorts U.S., Inc. Lucasfilm Ltd. Marvel Entertainment, LLC.

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Fashion’s most prestigious night has come and gone, and although we’re still trying to collect our thoughts, we’re breaking down the 2019 MET Gala’s biggest moments, right here, right now!

What’s up guys, it’s Emile Ennis Jr. back here on Clevver News, and you know how the saying goes to ‘save the best for last?’ Yeah, no, not today. Celebs SHOWED UP during tonight’s ‘Camp’-themed MET Gala, and I can’t possibly save the best for last when Zendaya actually brought me to tears dressed as THE bell of the ball.

With the help of some unknown fairy godmother and the stroke of a wand, Z’s Cinderella-inspired gown lit up and stole the show. Then again, do we ever expect anything less from this goddess? I’ll wait.

As we take a turn from fairytale to literal nightmare, actor and MET Gala master Ezra Miller donned, like, 12 pairs of eyeballs, complete with a pinstripe suit and I’m almost positive I’ve had nightmares about this same creature coming out from under my bed.

And then there was that time Lady Gaga and her sea urchin eye lashes AND FOUR outfit changes basically won the MET Gala. As the co-host of this year’s event, one of Gaga’s getups resembled that of a giant pink parachute, but it was THIS look that turned all the heads. The Grammy winner stripped down into a bedazzled black bikini and her signature platform heels, along with a wagon that showcased her pink Joanne cowboy hats.

Billy Porter made one of the most memorable grand entrances of the night. Seriously though, you know you’ve made it when you look like an actual trophy while being carried into an event by a squad of six shirtless dudes. EXTRA in all the best ways…

I’d also like to take a second and give a shoutout to Jared Leto, his beautiful head of hair, and his second beautiful head of hair. No I didn’t stutter, and yes you heard that correctly – Jared Leto accessorized his godly MET Gala wardrobe with a replica of his own head. I’m all out of questions and concerns – at this point, I just want to know where I can get my own head cloned.

And finally, there’s always gotta be at least one celeb who steals the show (AKA Twitter), and that goes to Celine Dion who has officially been dubbed the Meme Queen of 2019. The music legend stunned in a beautiful fringe gown, but it was her headpiece that inspired a wave of different items all thanks to the Twittersphere. Behold a dandelion, a pasta noodle rack, Hela of Thor, Yzma from The Emporer’s New Groove, a head scratcher thingy, many other household items… trust me, the list could go on, but we are LIVING.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a hot date with my Twitter feed to catch up on all that went down tonight, so right now, I want to hear all your thoughts on the 2019 MET Gala shenanigans, so get to talking down here in the comments and you can find me on my socials @EmileEnnisJr.. After that, be sure to click right over here for even more outrageous MET Gala coverage and don’t forget to subscribe and hit that bell so you never miss an update. Thanks so much for tuning in, and until next year my friends.

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Some of Hollywood’s animated family films have drawn fire for being accused of having sexual references hidden in them, among them The Little Mermaid (1989), Aladdin (1992), and The Lion King (1994). Instances of sexual material hidden in some versions of The Rescuers (1977) and Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988) resulted in recalls and modifications of the films to remove such content. Walt Hollywood Pictures Celebrities, BIGGEST Moments from Met Gala 2019.

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