#and that's how you play the college of satire subclass

[utilitycaster]

Theory

The moon video is actually an elaborate fake-out designed to both offload old stock and drum up sales for Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything, and indeed, other WoTC books.

Consider: 

“Understanding”, and I use the word loosely, the moon video and its many flaws is made much easier by the possession of a 5e DM’s guide (information about the Astral Plane), The Explorer’s Guide to Wildemount (information about the Exandria setting), the Monster Manual (information about canonical creatures), and the Player’s Handbook (information about how playable races fundamentally work). While most players probably have some version of the PHB, only a DM necessarily needs the DM’s Guide and the Monster Manual. Meanwhile the Explorer’s Guide to Wildemount has an audience with Critical Role fans already, but it’s still only a few months old; new enough that there’s people out there who haven’t purchased it yet. Also there are people who go on YouTube or Tumblr and watch whatever is trending, apparently, which may represent a small bump in purchases.

WoTC also still sells Spelljammer 2e content (source: DM’s Guild), despite the original Spelljammer setting having been discontinued in 1993 with Planescape, when D&D was still being published by TSR (ie, prior to acquistion by WoTC). There is a market for these PDFs, but a small one. Additionally, several assumptions made by the video can most reliably be addressed with further back editions of D&D books, dating back to the original AD&D. Interest in AD&D from Stranger Things and the population Gen X-ers with children who want to to introduce them to The Version I Played there is a small market for these books, but to really make it worthwhile one would need to expand. Why not pull in at least some of Critical Role’s viewership?

Finally, Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything is slated for release later this year, and was announced not long after the video was posted. Given the hinging of the “argument” on, among other things, outdated understandings of racial traits, what better way to drum up publicity for a book that promises to revisit the unfortunate implications regarding racial traits still in some ways present, though to a far lesser extent, in 5e? What better way to spark an interest in astral and psionic-centric classes such as the seeker and the aberrant mind, previously tested only in Unearthed Arcana than to lead thousands of people to look up the Gith and the Astral Plane?

Anticipated arguments against and rebuttals

1. WoTC is a professional company with a full-fledged media and would do a better job with video editing.

Counterargument: that’s exactly what they want you to think.

2. A quick scan of the Spelljammer wikipedia page indicates Spelljammer explicitly takes place entirely on the material plane (with sundry demiplanes). Given the repeated references to the Astral plane, divine gate, etc. and the fact that we know canonically that extraplanar travel is possible within Exandria, as well as deep and fundamental differences between 2e and 5e wouldn’t it seem that the Spelljammer setting would need to be so altered to fit into the setting of Exandria that you would end up with a sort of Theseus’s ship paradox re: the mythology, and anyway if you can figure this out from five minutes on Wikipedia, why would you buy a book?

Counterargument: Oh so you believe everything you read on Wikipedia? Next thing you’ll tell me is you believe anything you watch on YouTube.

3. Okay so let’s say I believe your premise. Will this really sell that many more books? Pirating D&D PDFs is as much a right of passage for some as slaying a dragon, or seducing an enemy, or creating 7 different characters solely because you couldn’t decide on a color for your tiefling warlock and you spiraled and came to 5 hours later with one of each. Will real people with real money spend it on a book in a system 99% of them do not know that’s like “well we needed a name for Orcs but Space so we just flipped around the word ‘orcs’ and then we drank so much beer the other Wisconsinites at Lake Geneva were impressed, which is saying something”?

Counterargument: actually you have a point. Let’s consider. Most of these books, especially past editions, are PDFs anyway. So it makes sense to have a repository of them. Perhaps an online D&D app. Wait. There is one. It’s called D&D Beyond. Critical Role is sponsored by D&D Beyond. This is an ouroboros of a publicity stunt. But who would come up with such a strange, labor-intensive, and convoluted ad campaign? That’s ridiculous! That’s never happened on Critical -

oh. oh my god. this goes so much further than that. The only possible answer is that Sam Riegel...

is from the moon.

[thedupshadove]

NEW SUBCLASS! NEW SUBCLASS EVERYBODY!

Step right up, folks, don't miss your chance to play Gordon Ramsey.

College of Protest

The history of rebellion and resistance is woven through with song, from the righteous anger of the incendiary ballad or march, to the fierce joy of the striking workers despite their hunger and cold, to the hidden messages and subtle satire snuck into the art of those who could not safely speak the truth. Bards of this College are masters of such art. They rally the masses, giving them the bravery to fight for what they know should be. They comfort the oppressed, giving them the hope and solace needed not to lay down and die. They expose the lies, the tricks, the hypocrisies, and the dark secrets of kings and churches and bureaucracies. And sometimes, sometimes they even shame the powerful into making change of their own accord (or at least, show them the anger of the public enough to scare them into doing it.)

Bonus proficiencies

Upon joining this College at 3rd level, you gain proficiency with shields and improvised weapons. Additionally, you gain proficiency in the Persuasion skill if you didn't already have it, and Expertise if you did. (Gaining Expertise on a pre-existing proficiency does not count against the two Expertises you gain at 3rd level, but if you did not previously have proficiency and are only now gaining it, you may apply one of your two Expertises to it immediately) (DMs are encouraged to pay extra close attention to the differences between Persuasion and Deception when it comes to Protest Bards.)

Rabble Rouser

Also upon joining this College at 3rd level, you know how to stir your listeners up and brace them for the coming fight. You gain the Inspiring Leader feat.

Haunting Performance

By 6th level, your incisive words and earworm melodies can make the most devoted followers of the social order--or even its leaders--question whether it is truly right. Whenever you make a Performance check, you may target one audience member of your choice that you can see. Spend a use of Bardic Inspiration and make a second Performance check. If you score 15 or higher on this Performance check, you have advantage on your next Persuasion roll against this target. 

Which Side Are You On?

Upon reaching 14th level, your ability to stir the masses to fight against evil and injustice is nigh-unparallelled. If you are engaged in combat in a place containing a large number of non-combatant NPCs who are not hostile toward you, you may use your bonus action to cry out to the crowd, pulling them to your side. Roll a number of d6s equal to your Charisma modifier and add the results. This many NPCs (or if that many are not present, then as many as are) join the fray on the side of you and your allies, striving to defeat those you battle against. These NPCs take their actions on your initiative. They each gain temporary hit points equal to your Bard level + your Charisma modifier, and Proficiency with improvised and simple weapons if they had no pre-existing weapon proficiencies. If any of them loses all temporary hit points and is reduced below 10 regular hit points, they flee. 

Once you have used this feature, you cannot do so again until you finish a long rest.

[tarakaybee]

Oxventure: Slightly More Optimal Characters?

Contrary to the many rules-lawyering posts and mentions in my Oxventure content you’re likely to see on this blog, I really like that Johnny gave Andy an out from some class choices that he wasn’t happy with, so this is just some ideas on how the rest of the group could similarly make some class alterations.

Anyway!

Corazon

Class: Rogue 6 (Swashbuckler) / Wizard 1 Feat (LV 4): Inspiring Leader

My own personal ‘actual rules’ version of Andy’s really overpowered build, this way, Andy can get two extra spells by default and still gets all of the Swashbuckler abilities, just one level later than he would have because of Multiclassing rules. As for the Feat, I am fully confident that Andy would love the ability and excuse to waffle on to himself for an extended amount of time and actually have it have a gameplay benefit, namely 10 extra HP for every party member.

I’m not really sure why Andy actually wants to be a Swashbuckler, it’s pretty useful if you play sessions with frequent, actually challenging combat encounters but they have had one combat encounter ever that would have actually warranted this. As it stands Corazon as an Arcane Trickster had probably one of the better character builds because of how universally useful his spells are.

Prudence

No suggestions for Prudence, she has absolutely no weaknesses that’s why she’s won more than 50% of my Battle Royale simulations.

Egbert

Fighter 7 (Arcane Archer) Fighting Style: Unarmed Fighting Feat (LV 4): Tavern Brawler

I get the strong impression that Mike chose Paladin and Oath of the Ancients after Johnny couldn’t find a way to incorporate Mike’s explosive crossbow concept, because Mike has made it clear he’s not amazingly keen on using Egbert’s Paladin abilities, and seems to prefer roleplaying fun wrestling manuvers than using his mace.

If Mike wanted to focus on the explosive crossbow, one of my solutions would be the Arcane Archer subclass of Fighter, but with the Unarmed Fighting as his Fighting Style. Arcane Archer revolves around enchanting your arrows so they can explode when they hit a target or pierce through the armour or what-have you, technically Crossbows are prohibited but that seems a weird limitation that Johnny would be happy lifting. Secondly, if he doesn’t want to do that too often, the Fighting Style to complement this could be Unarmed Fighting, that’s 1d6 or 1d8 damage for unarmed strikes, plus buffs to attacks while grappling. The Tavern Brawler feat augments this by allowing grapples as bonus action after attacking, not to mention proficiency with improvised weapons.

Egbert (again)

Ok another one for Egbert just because nobody is trying to fit a square peg into a round hole quite like Mike is except for maybe Johnny as a DM, so here’s two other options that would work better than Paladin/Oath of the Ancients.

Paladin 7 (Oath of Redemption) Mike’s choice of Oath of the Ancients is odd, I think this subclass was at one point literally called Oath of Atonement and it allows you to nonviolently pacify people with spells or by using Channel divinity to give yourself a massive buff to Persuasion, all of which Mike’s entire playstyle has revolved around lately.

Monk 7 (Way of the Open Hand) Self explanatory, strong proficiencies in hand to hand combat.

Merilwen

Feat (LV 4): Magic Initiate: Druid

Ellen’s spell and class choices are pretty solid so a feat is all I can offer is a Feat suggestion since Merilwen never uses the Strength or Intelligence that she upgraded. Ellen seems to like having a lot of choices so Magic Initiate on top of her Wood-Elf Magic will allow for that easily.

Ellen mentions in the level up video that she looked up suggestions for optimising being a shapechanger, but wanted to prioritise versatility of spells, in which case it might be relevant for Johnny to allow Ellen to use the regular Druid rules of editing the spell loadout every long rest. 

Dob

Bard 7 (College of Satire) Feat (LV 4): Lucky

This subclass description is just the most Dob thing I’ve ever heard, just listen to these three main abilities. There is ‘Tumbling Fool’ which allows Dob to rolly polly and dash an extra 30 ft as a bonus action, as well as disengage and reduce falling damage. Next there’s Fool’s Insight, which would allow Dob five castings of Detect Thoughts, and can cause the target to fart or commit another embarrassing gaffe if they pass the saving throw, I wish I was making that up. Finally there’s Fool’s Luck, which essentially lets you give yourself Bardic Inspiration after you fail a D20 roll, though I guess with Johnny’s very generous amounts of inspiration I suppose pretty much everybody has this by default.

Similar reasoning for the Lucky feat, Luke’s a big risk taker and it would for sure aid his incredibly silly plans.

I don’t understand the logic behind Luke choosing College of Valor. As I said above, none of them should bother giving themselves buffs in combat because Johnny will never give them a combat that isn’t effortless. But also there’s no benefit to optimising according to their playstyles because there’s such a huge gulf between the low difficulty of every Oxventure and the improbably good stats and broken custom made items of the players that rolling stats or using the rules at all is pointless.