#and the absolutely devastating playlist my book club made for it

[slightly-obssesed]

I Bet on Losing Dogs GF + Saint Bernard BF

[soulsillk]

🕸️ ABOUT ME:

• V, she/her, 24 | [ I played the MM game three years ago and it rewired my brain completely and gave me Spider-Men brainrot in ways still unknown by man— I approach insanity every day because of them. I write fanfic on AO3 about soulsilk (my ship name for Peter/Miles, though I know others have their own :D) and I literally can't shut up about anything Spider-Man related, comics or game-wise. Seriously. It's an obsession at this point. Come share in the obsession with me. Fellow soulsilk enjoyers, new besties, and random asks are always welcome here 😌 ]

• What I'm obsessed with: [ Soulsilk, Peter Parker, Miles Morales, Kaine Parker, Miguel O'Hara, Flowerfang, Scarletfang (Miguel/Kaine), my Web Polycule AU I created with my friend Kos (Peter/Miles/Kaine/Miguel), Insomniac's Spider-Man games ]

• Spotify Profile | Fic Playlists:

Tu Sangre Es Mi Sangre, Es Tu Sangre [Book I]

Midori Lights, I Taste You in the Moonlight [Book II]

It's Not Love, But I Love You (Only When I Can Hurt You) [Club AU]

Spinnin' Like Cartwheels Inside Your Mind [1995 No Powers AU]

ALL MY PLANNED WIPs ARE BELOW THE CUT! (⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)

• Tu Sangre Es Mi Sangre, Es Tu Sangre: your fic, what's it about?:  [ After playing the MM game it was like experiencing this giant, eye-opening revelation. The connection between Peter and Miles is one of a kind. It's so unique and complex and such a interesting bond to play around with, especially because of their pasts and their individual circumstances.

I wanted to explore that bond they share in a more intimate way. Both with what it is in the canon world and then what it could be in a different world where they made different choices— where they always choose each other. It's the devotion they carry for each other, the extremes and deepness of their love for each other and what it would translate into inside a romantic relationship. The aspect of co-dependecy between them is my favorite thing to play around with. That inherent notion that they can't live without each other: because they were made to be in each other's lives, to help each other, to be there for each other, to care for one another, to be both lovers and friends. Peter and Miles were simply (and very literally) made for each other.

I'm a sucker for forbidden love (the star-crossed lovers, the secret relationships), for doomed love, for soulmates, for the "love will triumph over all," for the absolute symbiosis of lovers and the conjoining of their souls together for all eternity... and my fic tackles all of these themes and more: the loss of innocence (coming of age), and how growing older is bittersweet, but also lovely if you let it be, the tragedy of being forced to grow up faster than you're ready to from experiencing such traumatic and devastating grief, the warmth of a love that nurtures and heals you, Peter learning to trust Miles and let go of his past and all his guilt, Miles growing into his own and finally learning to be Peter's equal and his life partner, the strength of love and how far it goes— that without it everything will be doomed from the start. Love will always win. ]

🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️🕷️🕸️

Planned oneshots:

• Stripper AU | Rating: Explicit - [ Miles gets a tip that a local strip club is actually a money laundering scheme. The workers are being stiffed and he's there to put an end to it. Though the money laundering scheme is real, he was brought in here by Ganke (who figured out months ago that Peter's been working there, and with his knowledge of Miles' years-long crush on his mentor, quickly concocted the funniest— and most evil— plan imaginable).

Miles waits seated, listening in for the informant, his back to the velvet curtained room. Peter walks in then, neither knowing they're about to run into each other. As Peter steps out of the shadows, his hand slinks across the back of the chair before he comes around to the front. As soon as he sees Miles' mask he's mortified— it's a set-up, they both realize just a little too late.

Mayhem insues and crushes develop (on both sides).

This is an intervention, and they're gonna fall in love, damnit. ]

• Spinnin' Like Cartwheels Inside Your Mind (1995 No Powers AU) | Rating: Explicit - [ It's about to be the summer of 1995 and Miles is on his last year of high school. In Forest Hills, on the other side of the fence, lies the object of all his affections: Peter— his neighbor— is funny, smart... and a twenty-two year old college senior.

As the hot days roll on, Miles is stuck between acing all his classes and helping Peter fix up his old bike on the weekends. Except the more they hang out, the more apparent it becomes that Peter (maybe) likes him more than a friend.

Or: it's almost the summer of 1995 and Miles is in love with a beautiful boy. ]

• There's a Neon Halo and There's a Crown: They Both Belong On Your Head | Rating: Explicit | Flowerfang (1992!Miguel/Insomniac!Miles) - [ Called to help for a mission in Nueva York by Miguel, Miles finds that a week is all he needs to fall head over webs in love with the crabbiest and most hardheaded of the three Spider-Men in his life. Going undercover to discover the distributor of a brand new drug that's going around Downton, Miguel and Miles must pretend to be a couple for the upcoming Alchemax corporate event.

There's a party, there's a confession, and then there's blood, and in the end, Miguel isn't so alone anymore. ]

• Screwball: Live! | Rated Explicit (Non-Con) - [ Unknowingly lured to a warehouse by Screwball to disrupt an arms smuggling ring, the boys arrive to the scene only to find an empty warehouse with no supply line in sight. Now caught unawares, they're swiftly knocked out with a sedating gas. Once they wake up, the boys find themselves in a padded room with no exits and a solitary camera on the ceiling... and an indestructible metal shock collar affixed to Peter's neck. Forced to drug each other with an aphrodisiac by Screwball, the Spider-Men must now put on the show of their lives or risk being slowly suffocated to death by the quickly depleting oxygen levels inside the room.

"Awwww, you wouldn't let him die, would you? Because if you did, it'd totally be your fault." ... "Take the drug and relax, little Spidey Jr. After all, the show's about to start." ]

• Jeff Lives AU | Rated Teen - [ Jeff survives the award ceremony and continues teaming up with Peter for the rest of the investigation, but because of his injuries after the bombing, he's put on temporary rest until he's released from the hospital. Except, Miles being who he is, sneaks into Jeff's case files and gathers all the evidence to finish the work he started. He contacts Peter pretending to be his dad and shows up to one of the Demon warehouses... where Peter quickly realizes that he's been bamboozled and Miles is very much not Officer Davis.

Throughout the next several days, Miles steadily becomes Peter's new crime-fighting partner, but not before a whole lot of "You're just a kid, go home. I can't have you getting hurt. I would never forgive myself if something happened to you and I had to explain to your dad what happened," and, "Y'know, there's other ways you can help me... how about you head over to F.E.A.S.T. and lend them a hand." Miles being stubborn, now acts as an OP!MJ that won't leave Peter alone because his dad would never give up when it comes to doing the right thing.

Miles goes to F.E.A.S.T and meets Peter anyway and they get close there, even under different circumstances. And meanwhile, still inside of the suit, Peter and Miles keep meeting because Miles starts investigating things on his own. Until eventually the lines start blurring, and one night Peter comes to Miles' fire escape, still as Spider-Man, and they talk and it's just, "Oh.... I'm in love with you. And I can't be. Not now."

Peter lets Miles continue coming on missions with him and slowly they build a more intimate relationship where Peter comes to accept him as his partner. And then Miles gets bitten by the spider anyway, and just like that it's the beginning of the end for them.

After several years of Peter suffering through the internal monologue of, "I'm going to look away and ignore all the signs and I won't acknowledge that you have a massive crush on me and it will all go away." It's 6 years down the line and they're sitting together in a diner and Miles just goes, "So, um, y'know I'm 21 now, and I'm super, super single and so are you, and I'm also Spider-Man... and, well, there's kinda also the fact that I'm still like really, really in love with you." ]

• It's Not Love, But I Love You (Only When I Can Hurt You) | Club AU | Rating: Explicit - An alternate "What If?" scenario where "Tu Sangre Es Mi Sangre, Es Tu Sangre" went horrifically wrong, and what once started as a secret FWB relationship, turns into bitter resentment between Peter and Miles as they proceed to destroy each other throughout the years.

On the last night before Miles officially goes off to college (hoping to finally leave their relationship behind once and for all), Peter invites Miles out to a local club for one last hurrah. Except as the night progresses, things take a turn for the worse— argument after argument leading both to retreat to Peter's house in Queens. With MJ gone on a business trip, Miles and Peter have one last night together before everything comes crashing down once again.

Or: it's the last night before the rest of Miles' life and his heart's already breaking. ]

[tarysande]

In defense of Chloe Decker

Chloe is a detective. She’s used to looking for evidence. When she sees the hard evidence of Lucifer’s face, she goes to find more evidence to help explain what she saw because finding evidence of things is how she distances herself from emotional turmoil. How many times has something upsetting or emotionally devastating happened to Chloe where her immediate response is “Let’s get back to work” or “I just want to focus on work.” Is it healthy? Probably not. Is it realistic? Um, hell yes it is.

She’s tormented by the idea that all the evidence she has of Lucifer being a fundamentally good person has been a lie. A lie she told herself because she has feelings for him. Not only have the men in Chloe previous romantic relationships lied to and betrayed her--she has lied to herself to excuse them. Think about it: she has evidence that Pierce is a dick (the things he says, the things he does, giving Dan that washed-up cops union rep position). She doesn’t like him at all in the beginning. She must deceive herself about some of that initial reaction later to make a relationship even possible. This completely echoes her relationship with Lucifer. Going from “I find you repulsive” to “I love you” is a pretty freaking huge leap, you know?

Remember, Chloe sees Lucifer’s face like right after she realizes she had been about to marry a freaking crime lord who convinced her utterly that he loved her. Like. 24 hours later. Her terror and confusion are justified. 

And what’s a crime lord to the Devil? Talk about freaking escalation. Dan was a dirty cop who lied to and gaslighted her; Pierce was a dirty cop ... who was also a crime lord and also the world’s first murderer who lied to and gaslighted her; Lucifer is the goddamned Devil, societal embodiment of all things evil. Chloe, like a real person, has huge insecurities. Hers center around being loved/being lovable/being left/being used. If you can’t take a step back and imagine the last few years of Chloe’s life from her perspective, I don’t know what to tell you. She might not handle things as well as Linda (debatable), but Jesus, she’s trying, and she’s doing a lot better than, oh, most reasonable people would in her position.

Father Kinley plays on this. Remember, he’s been researching Lucifer for a long time. He knows exactly what to say to convince her. He knows exactly which books to show her. His voice is a slow-dripping poison in her ear, and everything he says trickles right down into the broken heart of a woman who has spent her entire adult life being lied to and left by the men she’s chosen. The evidence says she cannot trust her choices.

The things Kinley says are absolutely devious and absolutely devastating. Lucifer is funny and charming and kind--but it’s a lie. Lucifer will adjust his ploys to ensnare you more completely--and the first thing he says when she arrives boils down to “I adjusted the over-the-top date from last time to grilled cheese, the kind you like. I made you a playlist of music I think is silly because you like it.” He only bleeds around her to make her pity him.

Chloe is not weak or stupid or cruel or mean. If she hadn’t questioned and hadn’t walked this path, she could never have gotten to the point she gets to with Lucifer by the end of the season. And it all refers back to that first conversation she has with Ella about faith. In this case, Chloe’s faith--not in God, but in her own objectivity--has been rocked really damn hard. 

ALSO, and I think this is super important and I’m not sure I’ve seen it mentioned yet--when Chloe does almost pour the contents of the vial into Lucifer’s glass but knocks the glass over instead, she goes over the freaking top with her apologies. How many times has she seen Lucifer’s bar and Lucifer’s club in various states of destruction? Her apology is not for spilling the wine or breaking the glass. She is apologizing so profusely because she almost did something she considers reprehensible to someone she cares about. She has so so so many conflicting feelings. It’s tearing her apart just as much as the later events of the season nearly tear Lucifer apart.

Chloe’s journey this season precisely mirrors Ella’s story from that first conversation about God. Ella said, “My aunt was a nun, okay? And she always taught me that doubt was really important. Right? I mean, if you don't question something, then what's the point of believing it? Mm-hmm. I doubt so that I can believe.”

Chloe’s not doubting the existence of the Devil so she can believe in the Devil or God or celestials or Big Stuff beyond her comprehension. She’s doubting her love for the Devil so she can believe her love for the Devil is real. Even the painful steps are steps forward and steps that were necessary for her to take to make sure the love she feels going forward is, as Lucifer and Chloe have both raised concerns about in the past, real.

[surveystodestressme]

1.

Are you a mean drunk?:

i'm the exact opposite acutally

Do you listen to a lot of mainstream music?:

sometimes

Do you think you’re pretty?:

yeah

Have you ever been in a long distance relationship?:

nope

Do you go clubbing?:

no, i've only ever been to a bar but that's it

Have you ever actually read?:

yeah

Are you a hopeless romantic?:

i don't know what even makes someone a hopeless romantic

When do you have to wake up tomorrow?:

around 7:30

Do you think Ludacris is ugly?:

he's alright i guess.

Do you fit any stereotype?:

i don't think so

Do you associate songs with memories?:

sometimes

What’s the weather like where you live?:

it's been really fucking hot recently like above 90 degrees and it's ridiculous

What’s your opinion of Lady Gaga?:

i'm not a huge fan of her as an artist, but i like her as a person

Do you appreciate raunchy humor?:

haha i think it's funny

Do you ever listen to Lily Allen?:

i don't even think i know who that is, to be honest

Have you ever been racist?:

nope

Have you ever added someone you don’t know on Facebook?:

when i first got a facebook, i did it a lot. but i don't anymore

Do you make playlists?:

i used to but i don't have any at the moment

What’s your worst feature?:

i don't know

Have you ever kept a diary?:

several

Do you actually use your calendar?:

not really, but my mom keeps one in the kitchen

Do you have dirty pictures in your phone?:

i take some of myself a lot but i don't keep a lot of them in my phone

Have you ever looked up porn on the internet?:

when i'm horny, yeah

Are you an angry person?:

i used to have really bad anger issues. sometimes it gets the best of me but i try to control it the best that i can

Are you close with your family?:

for the most part

What kind of music do you listen to when you’re sad?:

sad stuff? lol

Do you like hippie jewlery?:

i don;t know what constitutes as hippie jewelry. like hemp and shit? i used to have tons of hemp necklaces because my best friend at the time made them but i don't have any now

Have you ever used the word “groovy”?:

sometimes

What are your grades like?:

they're pretty good actually. i'm proud of myself for how i'm doing in college

Have you ever watched the original british skins?:

yep!! i loved it. i binge watched all the seasons

Do you like oreos?:

yep!

Have you ever had a sex dream about someone you barely know?:

several times, actually

Were you a cute baby?:

yeah, i was pretty fat lol

Do you ever listen to angry girl music?: What is it?

i don't even know what angry girl music would be

Would you ever shoot someone right in the face?:

only if i had to

Have you ever sold drugs?:

nope

What color are your headphones?:

my headphones just recently broke but they were white

What are you like first thing in the morning?:

really grouchy lol

Do you get crazy sex hair?:

usually yes

Do you download your music illegally?:

guilty

Have you ever crashed a wedding?:

nope

Were you a blink 182 fan back in the day?:

i only know like 2 songs of theirs

Were you ugly in middle school?:

i wasn't the best looking

Have you ever been to Boulder Colorado?:

nope

Do you rage against conformity?:

nah

Have you ever yelled at a self check out machine?:

lol probably

Have you ever been shot?:

nope

Is everything going to be okay?:

i think so

Are you stoned right now?:

nah

Do you listen to Sublime?:

never have, actually.

Has someone ever understood you more than your understood yourself?:

i'm sure

Are you on good terms with your parents?:

yep

Have you ever written a letter to Santa just for kicks?:

i did all the time when i was younger

Do some people have way too much time on their hands?:

i'm sure

Do you ever drink 5 hour energy shots?:

i think i've only ever had one. i used to have a red bull every single day

Does country music ever make you cry?:

nope

Have you ever had a moment so wonderful it felt like magic?:

sure

Have you ever snorted pixie sticks?:

i've thought about it but never actually did it

Are you okay on your own?:

i'd prefer not to be on my own but i think i'd be okay if i had to be on my own

Does your face twitch when you’re about to cry?:

my lip quivers, i think

If heaven and hell are real, which one are you going to?:

probably hell

Have you ever had a premonition?:

nah

Did you ever try cutting yourself?:

i had a pretty tough past

Do empty streets creep you out?:

at night they do

Have you ever seen your dad cry?:

when we had to put down our dog, and during christmas that same year when we got him a framed picture of her

What’s the last concert you went to?:

i think it was five finger death punch

Have you ever gotten sick of talking about yourself?:

nah

Could you ever be a therapist?:

i don't think so. i can't even take my own advice

Have you ever made yourself throw up?:

nope

Do you know someone who looks like one of the beach boys?:

nah

Are your nails currently painted pink or purple?:

neither

Do you adore mini sticky notes?:

sure

Do you have bad short term memory?

my memory isn't the best

What’s a song that will always give you the chills?:

nicole by hotel books

Have you had any major tragedies in your life?:

honestly when my cat died, it destroyed me. we got her when i was around 3 years old and she had been a part of my life as long as i could remember. it was devastating to lose her.

What do you think of open casket funerals?:

i honestly think it's kind of weird. i want to remember someone in life not in death

Are you bad at spelling?:

no.

Have you ever had a pet rat?:

no but i want one sooo badly

What do you binge on?:

netflix shows and sometimes youtube series

Do you want a cigarette right now?:

nah

Can you shake your ass?:

yeah lol

Do you know someone named Dick?:

i know someone named richard

Do you have a childish sense of humor?:

sometimes

Do you like free samples?:

of course

Are you a coupon fiend?:

i mean i use them if i get them but i don't ever get them

Who would you love to be with right now?:

my boyfriend.

Could you go a year without sex?:

yeah

Are you wearing any rings?:

nope

Are you homophobic?:

nah, my sister is gay

Do spiders make you jump around and squeal like a little girl?:

if they don't bother me, i'm not too worried about them

Are you a sexist pig?:

nah

Have you screamed at anyone in the past week?:

probably

Do you have road rage?:

absolutely

Have you ever made yourself look like a fool for love?:

i don't know

Did you ever see the harry potter movies on opening night?:

only the very last one

Could you ever eat a worm?:

i did when i was a kid

Do you have low self esteem?:

i used to

When you hang out with someone a lot do you start to pick up their habits?:

oh yeah

Have you ever called your mom a bitch?:

not to her face

Do you have a cute laugh?:

my boyfriend thinks i do but i'm not too sure

Do you write on your arms/hands?:

i used to a lot

Do you believe that you can get ink poisoning from that?:

sure

Do you think you’re gonna sleep okay tonight?:

i hope so