#and the way every single book is abt smut now.........kjgskjdfgkhjldfkjhghkjlsdfkhjsdfhjkdsfhjkdhjhjdgfkhjfghjsdfhjkfdghjkldfsghjkldfghjkhkl

[mmmmuffins]

not to repeat myself 2045834 times but went to the bookstore again this week and the bestseller section was so sad... full of colleen hoover and published fanfiction and canva covers and all of it marketed as ‘popular in the media’ which is literally just booktok 😭 what are young kids growing up with 

[binniesthighs]

i loveeee your first write abt Jisung omgggg he is like one of my BIGGEST bias wrecker of all time so i was like WOAH THERE,,,, and i was so hooked on your writings i wanna see more 👀 if you have free time can i please ask for a Jeonghan smut where he is your rival in everything let's say at school and u didn't actually like him at first but he kinda flirts and idk I'm just so into Jeonghan's cocky behavior these daysss he's making me feel thiiiiiiingsssss 😩❤️

ahh thank you anon you are so so sweet! ♡ I’m so happy that you liked my Jisung stuff! I love writing for that boy hehe and thank you so much for requesting love!! this is my first seventeen ask I’m so so excited to write more of them in the future! my brain really took this one and rannnn with it, it ended up a bit harder than I intended, I hope that’s okay and I hope that you enjoy it!

what i want most |reader x jeonghan |

Pairing: self insert, gender neutral reader x yoon jeonghan

Genre: lil bit of smut, lil bit of angst

Tags: harddom!jeonghan, bratty!reader, enemies (competitors) to lovers, college au, jeonghan being our fave cocky boy, bestfriend!seungcheol, mentions of school work, slow-ish burn, masturbation (reader), use of degrading names, dumification, hook-up, choking, marking, spanking, facefucking, gagging, use of safe symbols, nipple play, overstimulation, unprotected sex, creampie, slight exhibitionism, semi-public sex, sex in a study room

Word count: 4k

Someone told you once long ago that hate is a strong word. Apparently, they had never experienced loathing before. To you, hate always seemed to be something playful, something a little teasing. When your best friends would mock you for the most insignificant things, you would say “cut that shit out. You know that I hate you right?”

Loathing is much more fun. Loathing holds more of an edge. Loathing keeps you up at night, and lingers in your mind. Loathing digs into your skin like a papercut, coming back to sting later when you stretch your skin. Loathing made you feel all twisted up inside. This one super-massive emotion is one that clings to you and makes you jealous and irritable, and the best of all, competitive.

You don’t know what you would be without loathing...if not for him.

But as much as you loathed him, he was the perfect elixir of sugar-coated poison.  

He kept you up at night. He lingered in your mind.

Everything about you, he had to do too. You didn’t know at this point if it was some kind of joke, or that the two of you had miraculously been crafted to be just that similar.

Since the day that you had met him three years ago in undergrad, there wasn’t one class that the two of you didn’t share. Every single job that you applied to, he would apply to as well. Each professor that you would introduce yourself to, the next day he would be cozied up next to them talking about some kind of bullshit and pretended to care about their personal lives. He even chose the exact same grad program as you.

When the two of you graduated, it was him who sucked in his lip, never breaking with your eyes when he received higher honors than you. He probably loathed you too.

That would keep you up at night too.

There were other things about him as well that would creep into the corners of your sleep deprived brain. You would stare into the darkness of your room, eyes glued to the ceiling with your mind exploring shameless answers.

During these dark nights, your hand would absentmindedly cascade down your body, snaking your fingers down the soft of your skin. Behind your eyes, it was him sending shivers down your body. It was his lithe fingers, not yours, that would reach down to your aching sex to pleasure you into all the fantasies that only remained within the confines of your own mind. Before you would climax, it was his name that you whispered out into the air, not even knowing that you did.

“Jeonghan.”

•·················•·················•

“Are you going to finish that, or what?”

Seungcheol rummaged around your bag of chips that were barely touched.

Your highlighter skimmed over your page, you twisted the writing utensils around in your hand to scratch down a note with your pen. Truthfully, you hadn’t heard him.

“...I mean, if you don’t, I will. Can’t let stuff like this go to waste.” He held the bag in his lap, happily crunching away and tapping his foot a little.

“--Can you chew quieter?”

“...Me?”

“Yes, you.” You bopped him softly on top of his wavy caramel hair with your marked up article.

Seungcheol cringed and rubbed the top of his head as if you had hit him with something much denser than a stack of paper.

“In my defense, there isn’t really a quiet way to eat chips.” He popped another one in. “Are you gonna be done soon? It’s too...still out here.”

“You’re the one that suggested coming here!”

His puppy-like face turned combative. “I did!...only because I think it’s pretty though.” Your friend shied away, trying to uphold his promise of “chewing quieter,” and subsequently failing.

He wasn’t wrong however, the courtyard in the middle of the library was very pretty, and you had been glad that he had suggested the two of you take lunch there. Inside the square shaped yard, a few trees had been planted with low swaying branches of little oval shaped leaves. There were hedges and a myriad of flowering plants with petals that were pink or yellow or purple. Somehow the little square was untouched by sound, save for a couple songbirds. Had you not a copious amount of work to take care of, you would have admired it all for hours.

“--And to answer your question, no, I will not be done soon. Sorry. You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.”

Seungcheol cooly threw one of his arms over the silver outdoor chair next to him, shaking you off. “I don’t mind. I don’t have anything else that I really wanna be doing right now.”

“--Your thesis maybe?” You crashed your knee into his under the table and threw him a teasing smirk.

“I said, anything that I want to do.”

You nabbed one of your chips back. “Suit yourself then.”

The door to the courtyard clicked, followed by the creak of the old library door. Such a metallic sound stole the tranquility of the whole space.

“Y/n.”

Jeonghan came floating behind you, dressed in his usual attire: some type of glamorous pairing of dress pants and a button down as well as shoes that looked as if they had just been shined. He wore some kind of cologne that draped after him with a dizzying type of efflorescence. Everything about him was meticulously planned, down to the few purposefully unkempt strands of chocolate brown hair on his forehead.

He craned his neck a little to see your messy scribbles.

“You’re reading Nebasifu?”

Jeonghan leaned over you, tracing a finger over the neon orange highlights you had made. He shocked you with how close he had let himself get to you, practically encapsulating you in his arms. You found yourself staring into his neck, that floral scent forcibly permeating your air.

“Hmm.”

He hummed as he read over your notes. “Interesting conclusions right? The fact that in governance we create more problems when trying to solves the ones we have already made? It’s all so circular isn’t it?”

Your sweating palm crunched the paper out from under his fingertips.

“--Really interesting. I’d like to finish it...if you please.” While your words were polite, but they still bit.

“I can recommend more similar readings if you’re interested?”

“I’m fine. Thanks for the offer.”

“If it doesn’t make sense, you can always reach out, we can talk it through...I’ve found that discussing--”

“--I said that I’m fine. Nice talking to you Jeonghan.” You cast your eyes down to your paper and attempt to slow your viciously beating chest.

fucking leave. You pleaded, knuckles turning white around your pen.

“Alright then. See you later.” He straightened his glasses upon his nose bridge. “I look forward to hearing what you have to say about the topics later.”

He swept his hand lightly across your back. It was the most fleeting of gestures, but your entire body froze from it.  

Jeonghan situated himself at one of the benches and drew out a book. He sat in the direct beams of the afternoon sun. The brown wisps of hair that hit the light looked nearly golden. You loathed that he was breathtaking without even really trying.

Seungcheol grinded his teeth, muttering out, “Fucking creep. He can’t talk to you like that.” Even quieter, “I’ll take him out for you if you want me to.”

You stifled a laugh. You couldn’t help your eyes which would flutter over to him like it was forbidden.

“No, don’t do that. But thank you ‘Cheol.”

“I’ll do it! I swear...”

•·················•·················•

Jeonghan had a terrible habit. Not like it was particularly distracting, it was just something that you had taken notice of. From where you would sit nearly across the room from him, he would remove his glasses, then rest one of the temple tips between his lips. Sometimes, the click of his teeth would meet the plastic. It was a simple action, but the way that the little curve would rest on the pink of his lips made your mind wonder...the poison that would leave those same lips couldn’t have been real; not when they looked so sweet.

“--anyone want to share what they got out of the readings and case studies? What can we learn about our interference and the sovereignty of other states?”

You were only partially paying attention when Jeonghan silently rose his hand.

“I think that Y/n had a particularly interesting oponion on this. We were discussing this previously.” He curved his body around to meet your eyes which had already been inspecting him.

With an expectant crossing of his arms, your professor approached your desk. “Y/n?”

Everyone’s eyes were on you, but Jeonghan’s burned with the hottest flame.

You took your shaking hands into your lap, then gave your oponion as eloquently as you could, swallowing down your nerves. As usual, you were perfectly well spoken, as you knew you were. The professor nodded along with each point of your argument.

“--Very well articulated Y/n. And your counterpoints are provoking as well.” He finally turned to pace away. “Would anyone like to expand?”

Your professor’s body mass moved, revealing Jeonghan’s nearly sinful prideful smile. It was like he had given you a test, and you had passed magnificently. With the cock of his head, he mouthed,

“that was lovely.”

“I’d like to expand.” He piped, removing his glasses. Just as he always would, he tapped them between his lips, letting the skin fall a little by them. You had noticed it before, but they were smooth and plump. “I think that Y/n is correct...in many ways, but some points are a bit misguided, I would argue....”

•·················•·················•

[09:23 pm]

cheol: you coming back anytime soon?  i can’t believe you’re doing this to me on a friday. is it really that serious?

[09:26 pm]

me: need I remind you that you should probably be here with me? thesis papers don’t write themselves.

cheol: and I should remind YOU that we literally just got off break? they aren’t due for months.

i know what you’re trying to prove.

it’s not worth it.

what does that asshole have over you?

“--Shouldn’t you be back at home with that golden retriever of yours?”

Jeonghan’s pen tapped at your table, white sleeves rolled up. The day had taken it’s toll on him. The bags under his eyes proved that even someone as picturesque as him could still be effected by your long days. Nevertheless disheveled, he was just as alluring.

“And shouldn’t you be flirting with one of your students?” You clicked your phone off.

“Cute. Luckily I’m not one of the desperate ones starving for the attention of the little undergrads. That's a different kind of pathetic.”

“Hmmm. I just thought that it was the attention that you were after.” Heat rose to your ears while you breathed your beating heart down.

"Who doesn’t like attention? Especially if it’s from the right people...speaking of undergrads...”

Jeonghan’s slender neck twisted to eye the obnoxious group of students huddled up on a table, giggling and making a mess of their snacks.

“You’re studying out here? I can’t even--”

“--I appreciate the concern, but you’re not helping my focus either.”

“Am I...distracting you?” Jeonghan swept his warm brown hair to the side with the cock of his eyebrow.

You shook out a sigh. “Yes.”

“You don’t have an office?”

“Department didn’t have any more.”

“I’ve got a study room that I host study sessions in. You want to use it?”

“You’re offering to help me?”

“Listen, I know how hard our program can be, and I appreciate how hard you work. You deserve a quiet place to work.”

“Are you complimenting me?”

“Don’t make me change my mind...and what would I do if the competition suddenly dropped out?” He tapped the table with his fingertips. “That wouldn’t be very much fun.”

•·················•·················•

Jeonghan’s study room was simple, just like all the others in the library. It was stark, white, the tables were a bit banged up and the white board was riddled with little ink remnants. There were glass windows nearly everywhere so you could overlook both the outdoors and the rest of the library on the opposite wall. As the two of you entered, he calmly closed all the blinds.

“No distractions right?” He looked back to you.

“...do you have something that you need to get done too?”

“Not really. I’ve submitted a good chunk of my thesis for review.”

Of course he had.

“I’m just waiting to hear back.”

He crossed the room to sit directly next to you, slinging his legs up on the table and taking out that same book from earlier: it had some pretentious title that you had never heard of before.

“Don’t mind me.” He chided your straying eyes. “I’m only staying to lock the door after you.”

“I-I’m not...” Your eyes feel back to your computer and you typed at your keyboard just to fill the sound of the quiet room.

Sitting this close to you, you could smell that dizzyingly sweet smell of his again.

You loathed him for the way that he could be doing nothing and you could be enthralled in merely that.

Jeonghan’s eyes didn’t leave his page. “The more that you look at me, the less you’re working.”

You hadn’t even noticed.

“I guess I’m more distracting than I thought.”

Furious heat rose from the pit of your stomach to the tips of your ears.

“What the hell do you get off on?” You spat.

He calmly placed his book on the table. “What are you referring to?”

“For the past three years, you haven’t left me alone for a single second, you-you always do everything that I do like you’re on some kind of sick quest to prove that you’re better than me, better than anyone else--”

“--You think that I’m copying you?”

“Wha-what else would you be doing?”

“--Getting an education? God, you think that I’m the attention whore, aren’t you hearing yourself?? You must think that I’m obsessed with you.”

“What is it then? A superiority complex so fucking huge--”

“--You’re asking what it is that I want?”

You nodded back with heaving breaths.

“What I get off on? Well...” Jeonghan chuckled a little and raked his hands through his brown strands. “You don’t deserve to know. But there is one thing that I’ve wanted for a while that I haven’t been able to get my hands on. I suppose that’s what I want most.”

“And that is?”

Tentatively, he rose his hand nearer to you, saying nothing, his aura shifting from cocky to intrigued. At first, his fingers traced over the skin of your hand as if he was drawing little pictures into it. After he brushed his hand up your arm to weave a little strand of your hair around his fingers.

“I said you don’t deserve to know.”

You must have been in a daze; some kind of waking intoxication before your thoughts could catch up with your actions. It was almost as if you weren’t thinking anything at all, but where acting on prime instinct. Your whole body screamed with utter frustration: every word that he spoke to you make you loathe him even more, you wouldn’t ever let him get away with it.

There was something that you too wanted most, no matter how abhorrent it was.

Your thighs squeezed into his sides where you had straddled him in his chair, holding on to him so tightly it hurt your muscles. The haste on your lips on his was messy and hot, a smearing of skin and teeth crashing together with fury, tongues rolling off eachother with an undeniable hunger. His arms didn’t wrap around you but rather clawed in your hair, pulling slightly at the roots while he pulled you in impossibly close. The mixing of your gasping breaths together where whiny and yearning. As he kissed into you, his lips curled into a devilish smile.

In your arousal, you shoved your hips into his lap, grinding down into your excitement and seeking some from him. To your surprise, you could feel his hardening dick which only made you weaker. All the hundreds of little fantasies that you had held so secret started to dance in your mind; your darkest thoughts pleaded for him to destroy you, to ravage you, just as you had imagined.

Jeonghan’s lips tore from your own which he had worked until they were swollen. He mouthed down your jaw to your neck, sucking at the skin with no chance of mercy, he pulled and sucked until you could only pathetically beg for him to slow down for fear of him breaking the skin.

He stopped immediately to pull your shirt over your head and pick up his work there. The wet of his gorgeously plump lips on your skin was as perfect as you had imagined and it sent shivers echoing through all your limbs.

“Jeong-Jeonghan--”

This time you perfectly aware that it was indeed his name that would escaping off your tongue.

“You dumb slut, you thought I didn’t know that you wanted me?”

“You-you want me too?”

Jeonghan worked at the buttons on your pants.

“Wanting implies that I like you. What I want most is to make you my toy. There’s a difference.”

You mumbled out the words knowing exactly how he would take them. “I’m not a fucking toy.”

Jeonghan tsked and unbuttoned his own shirt. “You don’t get to decide that.”

You drew your fingers down his model-like toned chest, marveling in the pink lines. Jeonghan grunted in response, taking you by the underside of your thighs to throw you down on your back against the hard plastic. Once he had the chance, he ridded you of your bottoms, running his hands up your inner legs to send you reeling. For a couple seconds, you could have sworn that he had stopped to admire your body, but he wouldn’t let you tell too easily.

“That door isn’t locked.”

“What? Are you scared that someone could walk in? Scared to for someone to see you all splayed out like this?” He rose to kiss up your stomach and up to your nipples. He flicked them between his fingers. “To have someone see me making a wreck of you?”

“N-no.”

With saliva drying on your sensitive buds, they turned hard in seconds when they met the air. Jeonghan wasn’t hesitant to pull at them with his teeth slightly, making you whine for him even more.

“What should I do to you first?”

One of his hands trickled down your body to palm at your quivering sex, slick with your excitement for him and aching for the smallest of touches.

“You want it that bad? Stupid whore.”

Your hand ventured down to tease at his own dick over the fabric of his slacks.

“You want it that bad?”

“Get off.” He growled at you, then took you by the arms to jerk you off of the table and onto your knees at the floor. Under your knees, the burn of the carpet stung. His belt buckle jingled a little as he hooked a finger in to remove it. Afterword, he shook his pants off followed by his briefs, springing loose his twitching member with the tip pink. He combed his fingers through your hair while he tapped his dick against your lips.

“Fucking take it.”

You would have fought him on it, but you succumbed out of your pure curiosity over his girth.

At first, you coaxed him into your mouth, not going in too deep as you were fearful about his length. Regardless, you took him in as best as you could, hollowing out your cheeks and throat, sucking with your lips and grabbing at his legs.

Jeonghan hissed out a sigh, letting himself fall further into the warmth of your mouth. He pushed at your head slightly, bringing you in just deep enough to trigger your gag reflex.

“Mmm there you go.” He cooed.

You kept going as he liked it, gradually working up in pace while it got a bit harder and harder for you to catch your breath.

“That’s as deep as you can go? Can’t even take a dick into your throat?”

His grip on your head tightened.

Jeonghan whispered, “Squeeze my leg if you want me to stop.” before helping your head all the way down, causing you to gag even harder and for tears to well in your eyes. “That’s more like it.”

He continued guiding your head, and slobber started to form around your mouth You felt so weak and pliable around him, he was thankless aside from the tiny moans he would let escape past his lips for you.

Usable as you felt, it was still a deliciously addictive feeling.  

All at once, he tore out of your mouth to bring you back up to your feet. In seconds he had turned you around to bend over the plastic tabletop, elbows digging into the cool surface. By now, you were practically dripping for him with knees and legs weak from kneeling. He kicked your legs open farther, gifting your ass a piercing slap that stung, then another followed after.

“Hungry for my cock, hmm?”

He teased your entrance without warning, sending your body crumbling over the table into a mess of whimpers and curses clenched behind your teeth. His lithe fingers were your fantasy come to life.

“I-I can’t wait any longer...” You urged him on.

Jeonghan pushed your face into the table then slid his fingers above to curl around your neck. He encircled around the skin slowly, then dug in to close your airway. You choked out desperate little sounds, then he entered you carefully, making sure that you felt every part of him.

“Hmm. Pretty...” He allowed you. Even though it was just one word of praise, you reveled in it.

His pale fingers choked you harder for a few more seconds until he properly got his pace inside of you, letting go to hold you by your waist. Once again, he clapped his hand into your skin as he fucked into you. All you could manage to do with your hands was claw helplessly at the smooth tabletop seeking some kind of balance that was nowhere to be found. He grazed the deepest and most sensitive spot within you and you felt yourself nearly reaching your climax.

“I-is that all that you can do?” You turned his confidence back against him, spurring him on just as you had wanted. He snapped his hips even faster, groaning out as he neared his release.

“My pretty little fucktoy. You’re all mine? Got it?”

Jeonghan leaned over your back to pant the words into your ear.

“Fucking say it.”

“I-I’m...” Your focus was scrambled as your orgasm pooled within.

“I’m yours...your...pretty-mm-fucktoy.”

Jeonghan came inside of you with white heat, pulsating forcefully, with you following soon after while he milked himself with your walls. Even as you still came down, he rolled his hips into you over and over until your whole body was shaking helplessly.

“That’s right.” He pulled out, then pulled your legs apart to watch his cum fall out of your hole.

Jeonghan laughed to himself, “Thank you for giving me what I wanted.”

[rainkilled]

tagged by: @foxofthe100 tagging: @seesgood @tostxyalive idk whoever

BASICS:

Name: Rachel Age: 25 Pronouns: she / her Sexuality: I identify as straight but lets all be honest here, it’s a sliding scale.  Zodiac sign: Taurus  Taken or single: married Four Things About This Blog:

❄ Peter Colton is Canon. He is mentioned in 4x07 “Gimme Shelter” ❄ This has been my first successful blog in indie. I have had a TW oc, a multi with a bunch of OC’s. No one has been as accepted as Peter.  ❄ I keep a list in my drafts of people I consider “stable partners” who I can go to for AU’s and stuff. I’ll never publish it obviously, but tbh its more abt me than anyone else. It’s a list  of people I don’t feel like I am bothering. ❄  I have a bunch of urls saved in case I ever decide to change mine but I feel like rainkilled is my brand and i feel like people would be weirded out if I changed.

Three Mun Facts:

❄ I have a baby, Liam. My husband Curtis, Dog- Sophie, and three Kitties, Tango Tonks and Zoey.

❄ Every pet I have ever named has been a result of a book/movie/show. No one lets me name the pets anymore. ( Tonks -- HP, Zoey -- House of Night, I used to have a cat named Ally- Ally Mcbeal.) ---Side note, I come by this naturally. My father’s dog is named Dartanagan. 

❄ I have trained for like 4 different careers and can’t pick one so I keep hopping around between them. I am a nationally certified EMT, I have a theater Degree (Stage Management/Costuming), I have a certificate in Child Development and sell Educational/Developmental toys, and I am FDA certified to make and sell homemade cosmetics.

EXPERIENCE:

How’d you start:  Here on tumblr like 7 years ago, I dont remember how I found it, but I did groups up until about a year an a half ago.  Platforms you’ve used:  tumblr and discord. And Kik I guess.  Best experience: I ran a harry potter rpg with two close friends for almost a year. We put so much effort and heart into that it still stings to think about it being gone. I miss it all the time.  Worst experience:  The last rpg I was in. I was an admin, and a girl pretty much stole a character from someone else. When the other admins and I called her out about it (privately and respectfully) she started sending us hate anons. We blocked her as much as we could but they just kept coming and they got worse and worse until they contained graphic and triggering wording. We ended up making entirely new blogs with new urls and changing the group name in hopes of hiding from her. But by then, too much had happened and the group fell apart.

MUSE PREFERENCES:

Original or canon: Original. Canon’s are super fun, but when there are a bunch of us I get stressed.  Favourite face:  Is it lame if i say Josh? Obviously Claire Holt, but also Ashley Benson, Cami Mendes, and Selena Gomez. Least favorite face:  Arianna Grande. I love her but she was the face the person used in the story above and now I just can’t. Multi or single: Single.

WRITING PREFERENCES:

Plots or memes: Both. Plots generally, but I love memes.  Best time to write:  Generally I get the most done early in the day Do you like your muse(s):  I love Peter and Cordelia with my entire heart. Peter is someone I would actually get along with in real life Cordelia maybe less, but only because I would get annoyed by her constant fears. Either way, I love them both.  How long (months/years?): My one year anniversary was on the 8th. I didn’t celebrate it because I was on my hiatus. Fluff, angst or smut:  Flangst. I love angst, but sometimes if something is too heavy for too long it can drain me. But if we can balance it with a little fluff here and there, that’s perfect. 

[sophia1644]

Stuck With Me

Pairing: Nolan x Reader (yes ty for the request)

Warnings: angst, sad lil bean Nolan (I’m weeping), Dom!Nolan at the end ;), fluffy fluff throughout, no smut but sort of heated at the end

Summary: Nolan’s anxiety leads him to believe that Y/N will be torn away from him, and that’s the very last thing he wants to happen, because he doesn’t know if he could even live without his girl.

Word Count: 1.8k

A/N: I honestly love froy sm like I recently found out that he’s the sweetest person in the whole world and he speaks fluid Spanish?? that’s hot af and he cares abt mental awareness and all this other stuff and oh, did I mention, hE HAS THE SAME MUSIC TASTE AS ME!! that’s so hard to find in a guy bc they all like rap nowadays and oh now I’m talking to much… ok enjoy this fluffiness

.

.

I turn the key in the ignition, turning off the car and opening the door, my boyfriend doing the same. I round the vehicle, Nolan clasping his hand into mine as we walk towards the school building together. As we near closer, Nolan groans, readjusting the strap of his backpack on his shoulder and turning to face me, obvious distress splaying over his features. He stops walking and so do I, standing in the midst of the bustling parking lot, filled to the brim with high school students. Nolan takes both my hands in his, biting his lip as he searches around the area restlessly, looking for something or maybe even someone. I place my hand gently on his cheek, his attention bouncing back to me. “Nolan, what’s wrong?” I query as his eyes travel downwards to our interlocked fingers. He doesn’t answer me, muttering something under his breath and shaking his head, then his eyes widening and fixating on something behind me. I turn to see Scott McCall and Liam Dunbar talking to one another I’m hushed voices, glancing towards our direction a couple times. Nolan takes me by the hand, dragging me into the school as quickly as he can manage, avoiding the five feet radius of where Scott and Liam were standing. We stop in front of one of our hiding spots, a place where we met during class if something was wrong or even if we just missed one another. I swing open the door to the empty closet, pushing him in and locking the door behind me, annoyed with not understanding the situation. “Nolan, baby, you have to tell me what’s going on,” I whisper, both of my hands resting behind his neck. He sighs, ruffling the blonde hair atop his head and looking into my eyes with his beautiful blue ones. “You already know all the Monroe stuff…” I nod, knowing how scared he got over the supernatural stuff happening in town recently, sparking his anxiety. “Well, I’m trying to help Scott’s pack, but-” “Woah, woah, woah,” I say, interrupting him. “You’re doing what? Nolan, I don’t want you to get into this any deeper than you already are. I want you to focus on getting out of all this, not throwing yourself in the middle.” His hands land on my hips, his fingers hooking into the belt loops of my jeans. “I know, it’s just I can’t stand helping Monroe anymore, when Scott and them are good people.”

“Nolan, you have to get out.” “But Monroe will kill me,” he nearly shouts, but I muffle him with the palm of my hand. He backs up into a wall, slumping against it and sitting down, bringing his knees to his chest and hugging them. “I don’t want to die,” he says, his voice breaking between syllables. I immediately drop to my knees, throwing my bag aside and kneeling in front of him. “Baby, baby, baby, you’re not going to die,” I say, grasping his face in my hands again, and planting a quick kiss against his lips. “You’re okay. I won’t let anything ever happen to you.” He bites his quivering lip, nodding hesitantly while I wrap my arms around his torso, moving his legs down gently and sitting on his lap to get as close as possible to him. He rests his chin on the top of my head, hugging me tightly and kissing my hair. The shrill noise of the bell sounds shortly after a few minutes, bringing us back to the reality that is high school. I stand up first, brushing off my jeans and flipping my hair back behind my shoulders, then giving a hand to Nolan to help him up as well. He smiles at me, taking my hand and brushing it against his lips lovingly, then getting up.

We swing our bags back on and he turns the knob to the door to leave, but I grab his forearm, stopping him. I press my lips against his one last time, kind of shocking him a bit, until he relaxes, sinking into it. “I love you,” he says, his hot breath hitting my lips. “I love you too, Nolan.” . I rub my eyes, yawning as I look down at the book I was reading, closing it and setting it down on my bedside table. I pull on the chain connected to my bedside lamp, the light flickering off. I lay down, pulling the cotton sheets over me and closing my eyes. Not even after two seconds, my phone rings and I know exactly who it is, due to the personalized ring tone. I roll over, grabbing my phone and sitting back up. I tap on the screen and answer the call, my chest hurting at the whimpers coming through the receiver. “Y/N,” Nolan’s voice comes out as a whisper and every single muscle in my body tenses, concern washing over me. “Can I c-come over?” “Of course, Nolan,” I respond quickly, hoping he’ll get here as fast as possible, so I can just hug him and talk out whatever what was on his mind at this time of night. “I’ll see you soo-soon,” he musters to say, hanging up the phone, after I hear a sniffle.

Twenty minutes later, he’s at my window. Thank god my room was on the first floor, because we had a lot of impromptu meetings like these. He knocks on the window lightly, and I bolt out of bed, gripping the bottom of the glass pane and pulling upwards. “I’m s-sorry for waking yo-you up, but I just needed, um, to talk to you,” he says, and I don’t fail to notice his tear-stained cheeks and his red eyes contrasting the dark puffy bags under them. His blonde hair is disheveled and sticking up in all directions, his hands probably been playing with the strands in hopes of calming himself down, something he did more often than not. “I’m always up for you, Nolan,” I whisper, moistening my chapped lips and pulling him into my room. I engulf him in a bearhug, giving him a peck on his wet cheek. Without any reluctancy, his arms encircle my waist, pulling me deeper into the fabric of his grey sweatshirt. I slowly tug him towards my bed for him to sit down and spill whatever was on his mind. He complies, sitting on top of the covers and just as I’m about to sit beside him, he murmurs a ‘no’ so quietly that I barely hear. He pats his lap and I quirk a brow at him, but he nods his head firmly, confirming what he wants. And how could I say no to him? Especially, right now? I straddle his legs, my hands combing through his hair and scratching his scalp to help calm him down. His fingers land on my thighs, his eyes watching every movement as he traces my stretch marks with a feather touch. I wait for him to speak first, occupying myself with the golden locks and not wanting to rush him into explaining what was on his mind.

He eventually stops making shapes along my thighs with his fingers, his eyes finding mine, a slight tiny of red still coating them. “I was thinking about Monroe earlier and I’ve been getting some anxiety because of it,” he says with more composure than he spoke with earlier. I nod along, sad about the idea of him undoubtedly curled up in a ball and crying over something like this that he had no control over. My instincts take over at the saddening thought and I take his hands in my own, bringing them to my lips to pepper with kisses. He smiles half-heartedly at my affection, then continues. “Earlier today, I said I was afraid of dying and honestly I am and that’s half of my fears, but mostly… I’m afraid of losing you in any way, shape, or form. Just the thought of me getting torn away from you or especially you getting torn from me, I just, I just couldn’t do it. I don’t know if I cou-could live without you, Y/N.” The second his voice starts breaking, I break down too, my eyes watering at the words slipping from his mouth. “Don’t say that, Nolan. Baby, you’d have an amazing life with or without me,” I correct. Teardrops threaten to fall down his face, barely balancing on his lower lashes. “Bu-ut, I can’t imagine a life wi-without you, Y/N.” I raise my hand, brushing away the tears blurring my vision and the ones now fallen onto his cheeks. “Nolan, I promise I will be in your life. I promise I’ll be in your life for as long as I possibly can and we’ll have an amazing family and kids and you’ll be an amazing dad and-” “You’ll be an amazing m-mom too and wife,” he adds, the corners of his lips moving up at the notion. “Yes, we’ll both be amazing parents with amazing lives, and it’ll all just be amazing.” He frowns again, a pout also forming onto my lips unintentionally at the sight. “But, you can’t promise that, Y/N. I might die or you mi-might die.” I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him into the crook of my shoulder. “No, I refuse to believe that. I believe that everything happens for a reason and us meeting each other isn’t the end. I found the love of my life and now you’re stuck with me. You hear? You’re never getting rid of me, Nolan.” I pull back, placing my hands on his cheeks again and forcing him to look me in the eyes. The eyes I’d feel honored to stare into for the rest of my existence. “Okay, then you better learn how to deal with me,” he jokes, his frown diminishing by the minute. I laugh, the action causing him to really smile for the first time in the last hour. “It’d be my pleasure to deal with you, Mr. Holloway.” I lean in, Nolan taking no time to get the hint. I squeal as he picks me up abruptly and throws me onto the bed, his dominant side contrasting the previous version of himself that just spilled his guts to me. He climbs over me, hovering above my body, only an inch or two separating us. He bites his bottom lip seductively, his eyes flashing to my lips. He bends down, our mouths finally touching, the taste of salt from our tears prominent as I swipe my tongue over his lips. “Can I stay over?” Nolan asks, before proceeding to take off his sweatshirt, nothing underneath. “Anything for you. I’m stuck with you, remember?” “Get used to it.”