#and then Bi han dragged him into his office and they made out for like 2 hours

[d3rpydoods]

Alt version of the animatic where Lao doesn't get turned into a popsicle

[bunniekittiee]

I Bet On Losing Dogs

Pairing: Dark! Bi-Han x Fem. Reader

A/N: I’ve been wanting to write about Dark Bi-Han ever since his season came out, so here’s a small Drabble about him! I want to expand more on him and his personality but I haven’t published anything in a while so I figured I would start small!

Content warning: Abuse(?) (Bi-Han uses his freezing powers and hurts reader), emotional, mentions of blood, Bi-Han being an even larger jerk

Summary: Bi-Han’s darkness has consumed his entire being. He realizes that he is hurting the one person who has always had his back. But he knows he cannot change.

White glowing eyes had her paralyzed on the spot. So menacing when it was tough moments like these. Especially when his demeanor radiated anger.

“How dare you? After all I have done for you.” He stated gruffly, his eyes narrowing and his limbs beginning to frost.

She shook in fear, stepping back away from her husband whose body was beginning to be consumed by frost. His black hair even had partial ice in it. “You are not the man who I fell in love with. I cannot bear to be here anymore, Bi-Han.”

Slamming her into the wall by her shoulders, he pinned her down. His hands dug into her soft flesh and iced over. She whimpered in pain. His hands were deathly cold. Much colder than they used to be once before. But now, ever since he turned, he was never warm. Always freezing.

“You will not be going anywhere. Do you understand me, you ungrateful girl.” He spat, his face nearing hers. “Otherwise you will meet the fate of many that have fell to my feet. Remember your place, little girl.”

The ice invaded her body and it ached. It hurt badly. It cut into her skin and made her bleed. Tears streamed down her face as she tried to curl into the wall, but she was already as close as possible. “Y-you’re hurting me.”

He removed his hands off of her, but not before he glared at her. “If you try to leave again, I will do much more than this. I will freeze entire realms to find you. And you will regret it greatly.” Stepping away from her, he stalked off to his office outside of the palace. She crumbled to the ground, still shaking in terror and sobbing. Her lungs denied her air. Bi-Han had outbursts more and more often, and he began to turn to violence more frequently. He scared her. Yet, she could not leave him. They were tied together forever. She loved him despite how much he hurt her.

Shakily getting up, she stumbled outside of their shared room to a spare room. When her and Bi-Han argued, she would often stay in this room to give him space. It was comforting to her as she was able to make it her own. Stuffed animals, many that were gifted to her from Bi-Han and his brothers, littered the bed. Blankets that Kuai Liang had purchased from the markets also were stacked on the bed. They provided her the comfort that she longed for. Bi-Han was a changed man who drove his brothers to madness. They were eaten alive by the darkness. They were the Grandmaster’s right-hand men. They used to be a family. But now, she was alone.

These gifts from his family were the only things that provided her comfort in these more recent times. And right now, she wanted to separate herself from Bi-Han as much as she could. Still crying, she slipped into the bed and pulled the covers up. Her shoulders were still bleeding from the ice, but she wanted to lay down. She would deal with it later. Her body was freezing cold as his ice chilled her blood. She dragged the blankets on top of her and surrounded herself in warmth. She continued to cry into the fur of the stuffed animal she held close to her. Everyday he was changing for the worst. It was beginning to become hard to love him when he treated her like a pawn.

Even breaths. He counted the seconds in between each one as he watched her body rise and fall from the shadows. She was curled in a small ball among the cozy items. Despite Bi-Han demolishing his familial relationship with his brothers, he let her keep the items in the spare room. As long as he didn’t have to see them in their room. He would never apologize for his actions. He never saw the point in doing so. He was doing something for the greater good and working on a task that required focus and determination. Slaughtering realms was never easy to begin with. So he could not, would not, let something minuscule like this affect him.

His heart had hardened over time. Bi-Han was not sure if he craved love or if he had the capability of loving. The darkness consumed his body and soul. How could he love another person?

But he felt guilty. He hurt the one person who has been there since the first day he started his mission. Kuai Liang and Tomas abandoned him and paid their prices. They were turned themselves. But she never abandoned him. Until now. But he caught her before she could.

Why did he hurt her?

Feet stuck to the ground, he wanted to move towards her. But he had done enough. He didn’t want to hurt her again. He got angry so easily. He knew she didn’t get her wounds treated, and it worried him that infection would seep into them and make her ill. He was cruel and selfish, but he felt sympathy for the woman he called his wife whose blood seeped onto the sheets.

Turning away, he left quietly. He closed the door gently to not interrupt her slumber. Padding along the palace hallway, he left to return back to his office. He had more work to complete.

“Bi-Han,” Kuai Liang said as he approached his brother. He and Tomas’ eyes were white as well, and l they looked similar to Bi-Han but in their respective colors. “Where have you been? We have been looking for you everywhere.”

“None of your concern.” He snapped at his brother. Tomas resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Bi-Han was most likely standing in his wife’s room watching her sleep. Like a lonely spirit. She was a weakness, but his brothers kept their mouths shut. They did not want to anger their brother. They were strong, but they were not as powerful as he was. It would be suicide to challenge the Grandmaster.

Walking with him, they filled him in with information Sektor had gathered from a mission Bi-Han sent him on. Bi-Han knew he would be working all night long conjuring up a plan to expand their icy tundra without Liu Kang or the others interfering. It was going to be a long night.

Her sleep was long. Bi-Han was not sure why, and he was almost positive she had fallen into a coma. She had slept through everything. When he had come back from his office once more, she was still curled up in the spare bedroom. He watched her again. This time he had no more interruptions. He could watch her without having to tend to his duties.

Feet moving without him registering, suddenly he was standing next to her form. He looked down on her. He could see the blood that crusted on her clothing.

Bi-Han felt the overwhelming surge of guilt. How could he hurt her? Like this? He saw the fear in her eyes. If she could, she would have morphed into the wall if it meant escaping his grasp.

‘I don’t know why I bite.’ He thought to himself as he continued to observe her. ‘Out of anger? Power? Why her?’

He felt the guilt chew away at him. He knew he could not have weaknesses. Not when he had plans to freeze entire realms. But yet here he was, standing over his wife as he felt badly for the grief he had caused her. He wanted to pick her up and clean her wounds. He wanted to hold her and show some sorts of affection.

But he could not. He did not have the capability of doing so. He was a warrior. He was made for war, not love. He was never made to be loving or caring. He was made to kill and maim those who got in his way. He was a bad man. He knew why he would bite. It was in his blood to do so.

Bi-Han reached his hand out, cold fingertips gently gliding over her soft cheek. She flinched away and tried to get away from the cold. She craved warmth. Something she hardly got in the Arctika. He could not provide that warmth to her. They hardly had shared their bed together. What could he possibly give her?

Frowning, he left the spare room and closed the door quietly. He was so deep in his thoughts that he did not realize Kuai Liang and Tomas had, again, been looking for him. “What is it now, you imbeciles? Do you need me to hand feed you as well?”

“Cyrax is having difficulty with the Cyber Lin Kuei. I believe he said something about missing components.” Kuai Liang reported.

The Grandmaster sighed angrily. “Of course. I will see to it.”

“Grandmaster, if I may ask.” Kuai Liang said right as Bi-Han stepped away to leave. Bi-Han turned around and stared at him. “What is on your mind? You seem occupied.”

“I believe I have made too many mistakes in my relationship.” He replied quietly. He never opened up about his problems to his brothers like this.

“How can you make mistakes, Grandmaster?” Tomas interjected. “You are the best. You make no mistakes at all. You do what you have to do.”

“I agree with Tomas. She is muddling your mind and making you believe that you have done something wrong.” Kuai said to piggyback off of Tomas.

Bi-Han stiffened up, but he felt that they were right. She wanted him to be weak. To be vulnerable. Why could he have a moment of weakness like this? He was the Grandmaster of the Lin Kuei. He had many duties to attend to. He did not need relationship problems to weigh on it too.

But a small part of him felt that he knew it was wrong.

Ignoring this feeling, he nodded his head in acknowledgement at his brothers and walked off to Cyrax’s workshop. Bi-Han would never change. Even if he felt that it was wrong.

[k3rm1e]

hi! can you write wilbur with a very VERY chaotic reader? like completely different to what people portray his s/o to be in fanfics! the reader has a very schlatt and techno personality? and they don’t like showing pda unlike wil and he makes them really flustered.

thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!

chaos is what killed the dinosaurs darling

hi! can you write wilbur with a very VERY chaotic reader? like completely different to what people portray his s/o to be in fanfics! the reader has a very schlatt and techno personality? and they don’t like showing pda unlike wil and he makes them really flustered.

thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hi anon! sorry for taking a while to get back to you. i hope you like this either way (and yes the title is a heathers reference)

cw: cursing 

chaos is what killed the dinosaurs darling:

  after being kicked out of his office, wilbur had to stream in the house for a while. which, sure, it was fine there’s nothing inherently wrong with him streaming there - except for the fact that you were so bored, your brain was melting. you felt like the simuloid transforming to look like alex rogan.

  knowing he was in the room just a few feet away was killing you. when he was in his office he was too far away for you to bother him, so it was fine. but now you were dying. whatever. he wouldn’t care if you barged in. definitely.

  standing up from the couch, you barged into the room. you walked toward him as he questioned you. “uh, what are you doing in here? i’m, uh, live, y’know.” you walked behind his chair, ignoring him. you pulled him away from the desk by the back of his spinny chair, causing him to go across the room. behind you, you heard a small crash and a “shit!” yelled from your boyfriend. oops.

  “hello chat. my stream now.” chat was having a freak out of its own, some mad that you threw wil across the room and some laughing. sometime during you’re coming in and throwing wilbur, he took of his headphones. putting them on, you listened to the laughs of one philza minecraft.

  “hello philza minecraft. dadza. it is i, wilbur shit.” you stared deadpan at the camera.

  through the headphones you could hear phil laughing through a “what the fuck”. “hello, uh, hello wilbur shit. uh, you sure that’s your name?”

  “yes. it is i, wilbur shit. i write about train stations and hot bi- girls. hot girls.” wilbur walked over to you and was trying to rip the headphones of your head.

  “give me back my fucking headphones!” you could hear him laughing through the one ear that was uncovered. you reached up in an attempt to keep the headphones on.

  “don’t grab my headphones, fucking bitch!” you were pulling them back on with one hand and swatting his arm with the other.

  “your headphones? this is my stream, my chat.” he had finally gotten the headphones from you and you were now turned around trying to get them. he put them on and was standing to his full height for once. fucking bitch.

  “give me them back, now. this is my stream.” you were ready to kill this man. you come in here to have a good time and this is how you’re treated? you mentally sighed and ‘smh’.

  “uh, no. what are you gonna do anyways, short bitch? call me names?” he stared at his monitor, trying to make sure you didn’t mess up his set up and that he didn’t miss any donos.

  “yes, actually, i will call you names. bitchbur. bitchbur soot. bitchbur shit. yeah, i said it. you’re a bitch. and not even a pretty one.”

  wilbur made a fake shocked expression. “now, now, don’t speak like that. go do something useful instead of traumatizing the poor people trying to watch the stream. like fixing the chair you threw or something.”.

  “ok, ok, i know when i’m not wanted. i’ll clean for you.” you walked casually out the room until you got to the hallway, where you ran so fast your socks made you slip and slide into the other room, like in the breakfast club. to think of it, han solo also did the same, as did kylo. slido ren.

  you quickly grabbed the handheld vacuum from the front room. wilbur appreciates your chaos, at least you think he does. he better, or else you have a boyfriend to fake breakup with. youtube video tears and everything included.

  you arrived at the bedroom, and walked in with a “oh wilburrrrrr….”.

  he mumbed a “oh god fucking damnit…” before yelling “come in!”. you walked in and over to him, turning the vacuum on as it was up against hsi coat. “what the fuck are you doing???”

  “cleaning the dirt up, bitch.” you moved the vacuum up and down his arm.

  “for the love of god, please stop.” wilbur stood up and began a play fight with you. he ended the fight by knocking the now switched off vacuum out of your hand and pick you up by your waist.

  “put me the fuck down!!!” oh shit. pda pda pda. no no no nonononononono.

  “hmmmm… no.” wilbur bonked you on the top of you head with his lips. fuck this bitch and his cutesy pda bullshit. he threw you on the bed and left to go end his stream. once everything was turned off, he went over to you. “why do you have to cause so much stupid chaos on my stream? just why?”

  “because chaos is what killed the dinosaurs, darling.” you smiled at him.

  “y’know, it’s very worrying to me that you’re quoting jason dean.” he stared at you with a fake judgemental expression.

  “nah, it really isn't. now let’s go get slushies instead of going to therapy.” you jumped off the bed and dragged him out the room, lightly whispering “freeze your brain…”.

hello this has been finished i hope you enjoyed! please ignore all the movie references i made one and then i couldn’t stop

[sixteenthshen]

Episode 1 Notes/Meta

Contains minor spoilers up to Youtube's schedule and references to the novel

Since I don’t have any new episodes to watch until Friday, I decided to watch the drama all over again, very closely, to see if there’s anything new to discover.

Zhou Zishu's character: 

Drama immediately sets the backdrop/tells us why his character is kinder, more compassionate than in the novel. We don't know that drama!ZZS is kinder yet at this time, but we can see that he's schemey and sneaky

He wears a mask of indifference as the Window of Heaven's leader (sorry ZZH, I was wrong. I thought your acting was stiff during one scene, but now I know better). It's one of the many subtle faces of ZZS.

Wen Kexing's character:

He must be a highly-skilled martial artist based on how easily he kills two ghosts and that he can spot another skilled martial artist from a distance (beggar Zhou)

He's quite schemey. First, when he orders all his subordinates out to hunt for a man he just killed. Next, when he lets Gu Xiang go to check on the beggar, he's also subtly using her to test that unknown person's martial arts skills.

Why they're soulmates:

WKX understood immediately what "beggar" Zhou was doing (suntanning)

They're both well-matched schemey bastards

Behind the cut, geographical details and some details about the supporting characters. This is a very text-heavy post FYI

In chronological order:

20 years ago, Rong Xuan was killed by the Five Lakes Alliance and the gathered heroes.

Prince Jin is based far away in the North (Hedong 河东), where he holds power. It implies most of the story later takes place closer to the south of China.

Prince Jin ordered the Window of Heaven (TC in short, for Tian Chuang) to assassinate the Military Governor of Zhenwu (Officer Li). The Zhenwu Army is located somewhere around Inner Mongolia today.

Prince Jin falsely claims the Military Governor is a traitor to the country and has him assassinated. Prince Jin harbours treasonous thoughts, and in turn, makes ZZS and TC traitors.

Officer Li recognized Zhou Zishu by sight (calls him Officer Zhou), which means that they must have met previously somehow. He is shocked to know that ZZS is the leader of TC, so TC must be a secret assassin/spy organization (like an ancient CIA)

Zhou Zishu gets a drop of blood on his sword and flicks it off – he does not like blood.

Princess Jing An knows ZZS and first calls him Zhou shixiong (her first instinct is to use a familiar address). She later changes it to Officer Zhou when she realizes what he did.

Princess Jing An quotes, "The flowers blossom in all four seasons, knowing everything in the world", which makes ZZS turn to look at her - he sees the hairpin that his shidi Qin Jiuxiao made for the one he loves. ZZS gets super sad.

This line of poetry refers to the Four Seasons Manor (ZZS's martial arts sect)

ZZS, during his time as a court official, intentionally has a blank mask, so his emo is seen only in his slightly teary eyes.  Removing this mask is also part of the freedom he seeks. Possibly symbolic that he feels freer living behind a physical mask than he does with his face.

Prince Jin ordered ZZS to personally nail the seven nails into Bi Chang Feng (Uncle Bi). It seems somewhat cruel of the Prince. ZZS walks with 2 of his commanders – Duan Pengju and Han Ying.

Uncle Bi calls ZZS Manor Lord (庄主)*. He says he cannot help but suspect the motives of Prince Jin. ZZS shows a slight reaction to this. He knows the motivations of Prince Jin by now. Not only is he a traitor himself, but he dragged all his 81 men down with him.

This is the root cause of ZZS's different personality traits in the drama and novel. I think his character in both the book and drama adaption is similar, but his additional compassion stems from being placed in different circumstances.

Novel!ZZS did terrible things for the right reasons. As a result, he won't feel as guilty and has less reason to be so compassionate.

Drama!ZZS followed the wrong master, and the awful things he did were for treasonous reasons. There's no justification for the lives he took. Because he did worse things, he's better able to "see the light" and understand things in life better. Therefore, kinder.

The motto of the Window of Heaven (as requested by Prince Jin):

The members are to carry out their missions without leaving a trace (shadow without traces)

Once a person enters TC, they're never to leave (entry without exit.)

To know everything and to be everywhere.

When the camera cuts to ZZS's two senior officers, Han Ying shuts his eyes sadly while Duan Pengju has a slight smile on his face 🤨🤨.

Nails of Seven Torments (七窍三秋钉) – seven nails, each to be driven into the seven primary acupoints (for martial arts) in a person's body. After that, a person won't get to see more than three autumns. They would lose their martial arts ability entirely, and their five senses deteriorate over time, preventing the secrets of TC from being leaked. (see #2 of their motto)

ZZS does not like anyone who's not from his sect to call him Manor Lord, as it's a reminder of his failings. He doesn't think he has the right to be called that any longer since he ruined his sect.

Prince Jin calls ZZS by his name directly (Zishu); it implies a certain level of familiarity. However, ZZS hasn't been presented himself in front of Prince Jin in some time, suggesting he has already distanced himself from Prince Jin (and a certain level of disrespect)

From Duan Pengju, we learn that ZZS hadn't taken up his sword much in the past year due to a lingering injury; this time at the Military Governor's residence was the first time he wielded his sword in a while.

DPJ also uses this word again (又) in Chinese to describe ZZS aggravating his injuries again (that isn't in the YT subs), which implies that he has suffered other internal injuries before, not solely from QJX's death. DPJ is subtly suggesting to Prince Jin that ZZS is no longer very fit and not suitable for his role (shows us his ambition).

ZZS's current injury (that Uncle Bi refers to and why he coughed up blood in the snow) came about after Qin Jiuxiao's (shidi) death. He coughed up blood then and fainted.**

ZZS's residence is called Chongming Garden (重明苑), where he has a mural of 82 white flowers and the line of poetry about the Four Seasons Manor. He paints each flower red when one of his original sect members pass away. There's only one white flower left --- himself.  See this link for a more detailed translation.

ZZS scolds a vision of his shidi not to cry. ZZS's assertion that men shouldn't cry comes up several times later. His eyes only get teary after this scene, and not a single tear falls again (still canon for now).

ZZS has an official court position. He's an Imperial Guard with some seniority, and it's likely why the Military Governor calls him Officer Li. (A governor would not call a low ranked Imperial Guard “Officer” 大人 daren)

ZZS has several battle wounds from a blade, but the ones on his back (shoulder blades) look messy. Not sure what they are yet, but I think it could become relevant later.

Prince Jin appears unstable when he talks about everyone leaving him. Yunxing and Beiyuan are both characters from Lord Seventh. Beiyuan is the titular character of that novel. When Prince Jin said, "Beiyuan is gone too", ZZS displays a minute reaction because he knows Beiyuan isn't actually dead.

Prince Jin says ZZS is ruthless, but he's even more so to himself (recurring description).

Here, we see that ZZS knows of DPJ's ambition to take over his job when he says they both get their wishes today. DPJ becomes the new TC leader.

Prince Jin lets ZZS go. As he watches ZZS leave, he recites two lines from a poem, which title roughly translates to "on one's deathbed/imminent death".***

“涓涓江汉流，天窗通冥室。谗邪害公正，浮云翳白日。” Small streams can become large rivers; even a window as small as a skylight can brighten a dark room. Rumours and evil can harm the public good; clouds can block the bright light of the sun.

There's some foreshadowing here. Prince Jin sees ZZS leaving as a threat. It could be that one person leaving TC "standing" may lead to an exodus or that ZZS knows too much to be left alive outside for long. Prince Jin sees himself as the righteous and the sun here. He follows the recital by saying he's only letting ZZS go for now.

ZZS's beggar styling is supposed to juxtapose his strict and neat dress as the leader of TC, including his hair and overall CBAssed-ness of how his clothes hang.

Hanged ghost died super quick. We see an arm covered in a red sleeve strangle him to death. Red sleeve dude seems to be the head of the Ghost Valley (yaaaaa we know who you are)

WKX lies to the masses about the Hanged Ghost and tells them to set forth out of the Ghost Valley. We can see that all of them are scared of him. He has a scheme -- but we don’t know what it is yet.

WKX and ZZS meet (yay!!!) in Yue (modern-day Zhejiang, in the south), far away from Prince Jin. We should note that this is very far away from the North, where Prince Jin and TC hold power.

ZZS would rather be a beggar than the Emperor. The freedom to live and do whatever he chooses is more important to him than riches or power.

WKX understood what ZZS was doing right away (while GX thinks he's a beggar). This is why they're soulmates!

Gu Xiang's cuteness comes off as a little forced here, but upon re-watching, I believe it's because she hasn't been out in the "human world" before. Her mannerisms are all learned from her life in the Ghost Valley. She's also about ten years younger than WKX, so she's supposed to be more energetic.

WKX allows GX to go down partly because he is curious about the beggar, who seems to be very skilled at martial arts. GX is quite a straightforward and innocent person. She's unaware that she's helping to test the beggar's skills for her master.

WKX notices the ZZS's martial arts and stands up right away. This scene is also more important than it seems to be at first. Later in episode 2, it's revealed that he recognized the beggar's particular martial arts as unique to the Four Seasons Manor sect. I think it's the first hint that beggar Zhou may be "Zhou Zishu". (We find out that WKX knows ZZS's real name in episode 6.)

ZZS intentionally hits himself to make himself seem like a poor injured beggar and GX a bully. It shows that ZZS is sneaky – and again, ruthless, even to himself.

* ZZS is not a real lord. He's the sect leader (Manor Lord comes about because his sect's name ends in Manor, and the address "my lord" comes from Manor Lord). ** This is a fictional type of injury, where people in Chinese historical dramas cough up blood when they suffer severe emotional shocks that cause some unexplained internal injury. *** 《临终诗》

[madddddy]

From The Ground Up:

Buck POV:

I don't know what to do. I already apologized to the 118, especially Cap, but they still treat me like shit. It's been 8 months since the lawsuit and I haven't gone out on a call once. I know if I told Maddie or my parents, they would tell me to "go home". I'm starting to think that may be the best thing for me. At least my family knows I'm not on blood thinners anymore. Sitting at home, nursing a beer, I made my decision. I'm going home.

The next day I call up the fire chief and ask if I can get an appointment for that day. They are thankfully able to get me in at 1. I glance at the clock seeing that it's 10am. I text Maddie to have her come over. She lets herself in with her key and I get up to hug her.

"Hey Mads"

"Hey Evan. So why did you want to talk to me?"

"I think I'm going to go home. Its been 8 months and I haven't been out on a call once. I have an appointment with the chief at 1 today. I don't want this to affect your relationship with Chim. He has actually been one of the only ones who has talked to me. Him and Hen have been friends, but Cap and Eddie. They just glare or say things to my face that I just can't take anymore. I'm gonna surprise dad, but I'll call Kelly, Matt, and Boden to let them know. I'll miss you but you know where I'll be."

I look at Maddie to see her with tears in her eyes but she looks understanding. She nods and says,

"I understand Evan. You need a "new" start. I will miss you but I'm glad Chim and Hen have been there for you. I'll help you pack once you get back from the chief since I have today off. I can call Hen and Chim to see if they'll help too, but they probably will anyway."

I nod and get up. She stands up and we hug for what seems like hours, but its only 5 minutes. When we separate, she takes my hand into hers and drags me towards the door.

"Mads what are you doing?" I ask amused.

"We are going out to get breakfast at our favorite diner, then we are picking up Chim and Hen, then coming back here so you can type up your resignation and us three can start packing as you go talk to the chief. After your meeting, you will call Kelly, Matt, and Boden like you said"

I just nod and get my shoes on. We get out to the car and decide on driving my Jeep. Maggie's diner is about 10 minutes away from my loft, so it doesn't take long to get there. The hostess sees us and smiles since we are regulars here and she shows us to "our table". Patti, our favorite waitress comes to our table and smiles when she sees us.

"Well look what the cat dragged in! The Buckley siblings! Y'all want your regular?"

We both nod and Patti winks at us and walks away. Maddie looks at me pointedly so I take that as a point to start thinking of what I should say in my resignation. As if reading my mind, she pulls out a pad of paper and pencil. I start writing and once I do I just keep writing and I don't even realize our food is here until it gets set in front of me. We eat, pay and then head out. Maddie calls Chim and Hen and they agree to head over to the loft, even if they are a bit confused.

"Hey buckaroo!" Hen greets when I open the door for her and Chim. I hug them both and let them in. They already know most about what is going on at the firehouse, so they aren't super surprised when I say I am leaving. I tell them I'm planning on going home to Chicago, as soon as possible. Maddie looks at the time and tells me to get going so I'm not late to the meeting, and that them three will get packing. I thank them and head out.

45 minutes later I'm walking into the fire chief's office.

"Firefighter Buckley" Chief Torres greets and I shake his hand.

"Thank you for seeing me today Chief Torres. I am here because I would like to transfer stations. Specifically to firehouse 51 in Chicago. As for why, things at the 118 have not been good. Captain Nash and Firefighter Diaz have been holding personal vendettas against me because of my lawsuit from 8 months ago. Firefighters Han and Wilson have been the only ones from the firehouse treating me like a human. They don't participate in the jibes towards me and they still talk to me. They don't deserve to be punished, but Nash and Diaz should be. They shouldn't be fired, but maybe suspended. But I will leave that up to you. I came from Chicago and I started at the 51. I made a family there and I would love to return to it."

The chief sits there for a few before nodding and pulling out transfer papers. He signs them and then stands up.

"I hate to lose a good firefighter, but I feel after what you said, I will be looking into Nash and Diaz. Have a good life in Chicago Buckley."

I stand up and shake his hand. I take the papers and walk out to my Jeep. I call Maddie to let her know I'm on my way back. When I get back to my place, I'm surprised at how much they had gotten packed up, but then again, I didn't have much. We call a moving company and book them for the next day. Next I call the men that have become my older brothers in all but blood, Matt Casey and Kelly Severide.

*Ring ring ring*

Matt: "Hey Ev! What's up?"

Buck: "Hey Matty, can you grab Kel and see if Boden is free? If he isn't just go somewhere private. I need to talk to you all."

Matt: "Sure. Is everything alright?"

Buck: "Yeah nothing bad. Just got something to talk to you about."

Matt: "Okay Ev, I have all of us in Boden's office with the door shut."

Buck: "Okay. So I just want to say this all at once so please don't interrupt me and ask questions at the end. Things here have not been good since the lawsuit. Chim and Hen have been good but Diaz and Nash have been cold and distancing me. I am hoping that I can be transfered back home. I have the papers ready, just need a spot. And before you ask, yes Maddie is okay with it. And no I haven't talked to dad, I wanna surprise both my parents. So what do you say Boden, you want another Herrmann on your team?"

Boden: "Okay Buck, I think we can make room here at 51 for you. I told you when you left there would always be a spot for you and I meant it. I would love for you to come back here. What do you think boys?"

Kelly: "Well Cub, I wish you came to us about the 2, I understand why you didn't. I want you to come home too and Matt here is agreeing with me. You want us to pick you up from the airport when you land?"

Buck: "That would be great. Can I stay with you guys? Until I find a place? That or I'll stay with my parents. I should be out there tomorrow late afternoon. I'll text you to let you know for sure"

Matt: "Sounds good Buck. Can't wait to see you. And don't worry, we won't tell your dad."

Buck: "Okay I'll see you guys tomorrow. Love you!"

All three: "Love you!"

*Click*

I want back into the living room where the three are sitting.

"Hey Mads, Chim, Hen. Boden told me I have a spot there and Matty and Kel said they'll pick me up from the airport. You said you booked one right?"

She nods, "yeah I did Evan. I'm glad Matt and Kelly will pick you up. I like that you are surprising mom and dad. Are you gonna stay there or with the boys?"

"I'm not sure yet. The boys said I can stay with them but if mom and dad want me to stay with them, I will"

"Not to interrupt this, but who are Boden, Kelly, and Matt?" Hen asks.

"Oh right! I forgot you guys don't know our friends and family from Chicago! So I was adopted after Evan wasn't able to save our older brother with a bone marrow transplant. He got adopted by Christopher and Cindy Herrmann in Chicago. He grew up there, became a firefighter like our dad and his godfather Mouch. He moved here and worked at the 118, as you know. When I moved here and started dating you Chim, I was able to reconnect with him, since I recognized his birthmark. We talked and cried. I told him how I was disowned by our birth parents because I am bi and he introduced me to our parents. They immediately unofficially adopted me into their family and so I call them mom and dad. Kelly and Matt are other firefighters at 51 and they all went to the academy together and became like brothers. Kelly and Matt are married." Maddie explained. I'm nodding along.

"Yep. Mom and dad treat Maddie like their own and I want to go home to Chicago because personally, it's toxic here for me. You guys are great and I love you but Eddie and Bobby are the worst right now. I know you stand up for me and I appreciate it a lot but I just need my original family. I'll keep in touch of course and I'll miss you but you are always willing to visit me in Chicago." I added on.

Chim and Hen nodded and got up to give me a hug.

The next hours fly by and the next thing I know, I'm landing in O'Hare airport. I see the men who are like my older brothers and run to give them each a hug.

"Hey Ev! How have you been?"

"I've been better but I'm do happy to be here." It's slightly muffled because I'm in the middle of hugging them. I pull back the they see my tears on my face and each wipe them off my face. I smile at them softly and they smile back.

"Hey Cub." Kelly says softly.

"Hi" I reply just as softly.

"Let's get out of here eh?" Matt asks.

I just nod and they each flank one of my sides whole carrying my duffle. The rest of my stuff is in the moving truck. We walk out to Matt's truck. I climb in and we take off to the 51. We stay in comfortable silence with me just watching the city go by. We get there 20 of so minutes later but it seems shorter than that. We get out and the go to each of my sides again. They have always been taller than me and I say I hate it but I secretly love it. I see my dad talking to my uncle Mouch in the break room. Sylvie Brett is the first one to see me and she gasps loudly making everyone turn toward me.

"SURPRISE!" I shout shocking them out of their frozen states.

Next thing I know I am tackled by my dad and godfather. Boden is secretly recording this for everyone.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" My dad and godfather ask at the same time.

"Well it's a long story which I will tell over drinks at Molly's tonight, but pretty much, things got crappy at 118, and I wanted to come home. Don't worry dad, Mads was the one to talk me into it. And only Diaz and Nash were the ones who were bad. Hen and Chim have been good." He just nods and they both step back so everyone else can hug me. The girls are next, Shay, Stella, and Sylvie come running up next hugging me super tight, but I'm hugging back just as tight. I hug everyone else except for 2 people I don't recognize. I turn to my dad questionably.

"Ah right. Evan, these are Darren Ritter and Blake Gallo. They are new to the house." I shake their hands and for some reason I get butterflies shaking Gallo's hand. I think the girls sensed something because they gave me knowing looks. I gave them 'the look' back.

"Hi, I'm Evan Buckley-Herrmann. I used to go by Buck but I think I'm gonna start going by Evan again." I smile at them. They smile back and shake my hand.

"Hi Evan, I'm Darren Ritter. I've been here for about a year."

"Hi, I'm Blake Gallo and I've been here about 5 or so months"

I smile and nod to each of them. When Gallo smiles back all I can think of is damn his smile is cute. Fuck I'm so gone on him and I just met him.

"Oh dad! I didn't tell mom either so I think I'll stay here until shift is done and then we can stop by home, pick her up and we'll all go to Molly's and meet up with the crew from Med and Intelligence?"

"Sounds good Ev. You wanna borrow some turnout gear and go with? If that's okay of course." He asked the last part directed towards Boden. Boden nods and so I agree pretty quickly. Almost as if it knows, the alarm goes off.

*Time skip to end of shift because I cannot write fire scenes for shit*

Dad and I walk out of the firehouse at the end of shift and get in his car. After about 5 minutes he speaks up,

"So what was that with Gallo?"

Shit. Play dumb.

"What do you mean?"

Good, good.

"Look, I know what flirting looks like, son. And I know you are gay since you came out to us in high school. I'm also not dumb, so I'll ask again, what was that with Gallo?"

I sigh. He always knows how to read me.

"He is cute, and I think I might be getting a crush on him, but it's nothing and he is most likely straight anyways."

"Well, I'm glad you told me, and I think you may have a better chance than you think."

And with that we pull into the driveway of my childhood home. We get out of the car and dad goes in first. I hear him say to mom,

"Hey honey, I have a surprise for you. Close your eyes"

After a few seconds he comes out and beckons me inside. I walk up and say,

"Hey mom."

She opens her eyes and shrieks when she sees me. She runs up to me and hugs me as tight as she can and I hug her back just as tight. Dad comes up to us and hugs us too. After a few we reluctantly separated.

"So what are you doing here?" She asks as she wipes the tears off her face. I tell her what I told dad and she nods and goes to get ready to go to Molly's. Dad and I do the same.

We get to Molly's and I'm bombarded by hugs again from my friends from Med and Intelligence. I am friends with Jay and Will Halstead, Mouse Gerwitz, Antonio Dawson, Hailey Upton, Adam Ruzek, Kim Burgess, Alvin Oilinsky, not Voight because of reasons, Kevin Atwater, Trudy Platt, Ethan Choi (he's not a dick here), Crockett Marcel, Natalie Manning, Maggie Lockwood, April Sexton, Connor Rhodes, Daniel Charles and Sharon Goodwin. They are all there and as soon as they heard I was back in town, they all came to Molly's. I also got hugs again from Kel, Matty, Joe, Otis, Sylvie, Stella, Shay, Andy, Boden, Tony, and Capp. I shake Gallo and Ritter's hands again. They all look at me expectantly, waiting for the story. I sigh and start talking.

"Okay so basically, you all remember how I was crushed under the truck? Well at my welcome back party, I had a pulmonary embolism in my ex-captains backyard. I wake up in the hospital and find out I need to go on blood thinners because I worked too hard doing my recertification. I go to dinner at my ex-captains house and find out why I can't go back on calls because of him. He is the one keeping me as a fire marshal. I make a dumb mistake and decide to sue the department and him. The lawyer threatened them all and tried to offer me a payout but I just wanted to go back to the firehouse. When I decided to come home, I hadn't been out on a call in 8 months. I got tired of it so I texted Maddie, my sister, and she came over. We went out to brunch at our favorite diner. On our way back to my loft, she called her boyfriend and his best friend, both of whom are my ex-coworkers but they were very vocal about my treatment and never shut me out. I went to talk to the chief, and he signed the transfer papers. I went back home to find that the three of them had packed all my things and Maddie booked me a flight for the next day, aka today. I called Matty, he got Boden and Kel into the office and I told them my plan. Next thing I know they are picking me up from O'Hare, we went to the firehouse, I surprised you all, went out on a few calls, went home to surprise mom, and came here to tell you my story."

I look around and see many shocked and furious faces.

"Okay I know those faces, you don't need to murder them, I told the chief what happened and recommend he suspend but not fire Diaz and Nash."

They all look more satisfied at that, but still mad. Gallo and Ritter just looked shocked.

"Wait wait wait, you are telling me that YOU WERE THE GUY TRAPPED UNDER THE TRUCK?!" Gallo asked, shocked.

I nod sheepishly.

"Yeah some kid was tryna blow up my captain but I was in his seat for the day. Don't remember why."

He just blew out a breath.

"Okay less sad things, what have I missed with you all?"

Jay speaks up first.

"Well Mouse and I finally got engaged!" He said, showing me his ring.

I jump up and go hug them both.

"I'm so happy for you two!"

They thank me and Connor goes next.

"Will and I finally got our heads out of our asses and got together."

I hug them both too and congratulate them.

"Matt and I are still together obviously" Kelly says. I roll my eyes and smack him on the head.

"I got a new girlfriend." Shay says slyly looking at Sylvie.

"I broke up with my boyfriend." Gallo says shrugging.

I feel both the girls and dads eyes on me but I very clearly ignore them. Everyone else is kinda confused but brushes it off.

"Chole is pregnant with my son!" Joe says excitedly.

"Oh my god dude congrats! I'm so happy for you!"

Everyone else shares something or say nothing new.

Couple hours later, it started to wind down and I'm at a table with the Halstead brothers, their other haves and Shay, Kim, and Hailey.

"So what's that with Gallo?" Mouse asks me pointedly. They all turn to me and I know my face is heating up.

"Nothing! There is nothing going on with Gallo!"

They all give me a 'drop the bullshit' look and I sigh.

"Okay fine, you all can stop giving me that look. I might have a slight crush on him. And it may be a little more now that I know he likes guys. But what if he doesn't like me?"

They all look at me in understanding.

"Evan, I love you, but why the fuck would he not want to go out with you? You are good looking, you are sweet, and anyone who wouldn't date you is dumb. And I'm a fucking lesbian." Shay says to me, everyone nodding along showing they agree with her.

"Yeah Cubby, I may not be a lesbian but you are like my brother, anyone who wouldn't date you is dumb" Kim adds on.

I sigh and nod. They all smile at me and we start talking about Jay and Mouse's wedding. Little did I know there was a very similar conversation at the table with Gallo, Ritter, Stella, Sylvie, Adam, and Andy.

Gallo POV:

"So Gallo, what was that with Evan?" Stella asks me.

"I have no idea what you are talking about"

"Cut the bullshit Blake. We all saw what was going on between you two" Andy says to me.

Fine, guess I'm not getting out of this one.

"Okay, I like him, but he is Herrmann's son! And I don't even know if he likes guys."

They all snort and start laughing then they look at me. I'm confused.

"Gallo, Evan is as gay as a fucking rainbow." Adam says to me in between laughter.

Wait, what?

"He's gay?"

They all nod.

Okay, I have a better chance now. They must've seen me thinking because Sylvie pats my shoulder and gets my attention.

"You should go for it. I've seen the way he's been looking at you all night. Just, maybe wait until tomorrow." She says, then walks over to Shay and grabs her hand. And pulls her up and out of the bar. The rest of them are not far behind and soon it's just Ritter, me, Evan, Cindy, and Herrmann. I go say goodbye to my best friend, the Herrmanns and Evan.

"Hey Evan, I'm gonna head out but it was nice to meet you" I hold my hand out for a shake but he pulls me into a hug shocking me at first before I hug him back. Once we pull apart I realize he is drunk because he plants a kiss on my cheek. My face heats up bright red. Ritter is looking at me amused and so I flip him off before we head out since he drove me and didn't drink tonight.

We get to my place and I wave goodbye. I fall asleep to the thought of Evan Buckley-Herrmann...

Buck POV:

I don't remember much from last night cause I ended up getting more drunk than I wanted too. I do however remember hugging Gallo. My face heats up at the thought of him. Oh god I can't believe I hugged him and kissed his cheek. He is never gonna wanna speak to me again. I'm pulled out if my spiral by dad knocking on my door.

"Come in!" I call

"Hey son, I thought you might have a headache after last night so here's some water and Tylenol. Also because I know you, I saw what you did to Gallo and just know, he doesn't hate you and actually texted me asking for your number, so if you get an unexpected text from a unknown number, that's all me. Love you, I'll see you in a few before we have to head in."

I nod and he closes the door. Well that's good that he doesn't hate me.

*Ding!*

I look over at my phone and see:

+773-675-6554:

Hey Evan! This is Blake Gallo. I hope you don't mind that Herrmann gave me your number. I was wondering if you wanted to get dinner tonight? As a date?

Hey Blake! I would love to! I also wanna apologize for last night, I was super drunk. I didn't mean to get that drunk. I'll see you at work today.

It's okay! I'll pick you up around 7? We get off shift at 6.

Sounds perfect! See you later!

See ya!

I groan and lay back on my bed. I stay there for like 30 seconds before I shoot up and start to freak out. Oh god I have a date. I have a date with Blake Gallo. I HAVE A DATE WITH BLAKE FUCKING GALLO! I lay face down on my bed like a teenager and stay there. I hear my door knock and I just groan. He comes in and chuckles at me.

"What's wrong?"

I just chuck my phone at him. They know my password since I don't ever really have much to hide from them, and if I do, I hide it good.

He reads the texts and laughs.

"Isn't that a good thing?" He asks me, amused.

"Yeah. But I have nothing to weaaar." I say sounding like a child.

"Well how about your mom goes and gets you some new clothes, since she knows your size, and then you are ready for your date. Sound good?"

I nod and get up.

"Okay. Now get dressed! We gotta leave in 5 minutes!"

I scramble to get dressed and we head out. I'm excited to have my first full shift at the 51. We pull in and get out. I smile when I see the "WELCOME HOME MINI HERRMANN" banner hanging up. We get ready and as soon as we are all ready, the alarm rings out. It was a quick one, a car accident. We were pretty busy today so it went by quick. I couldn't help but look at Blake when I thought no one was looking but a certain pair of husband's certainly saw this. They pulled dad off to the side to talk to him when we had a free moment.

"So why does Ev keep looking at Gallo?"

My dad laughs and tells then about the texts from this morning, but makes then promise that they won't let me know they know. (Yes I pulled a friends). They agree and as soon as they are done talking the alarm goes off one last time. Our last call went all the way to the end of our shift so I hurry and make dad leave quick, much to the surprise of those who don't know about the date. Gallo is not far behind them rushing out and a few people have knowing looks.

We get home and I see what clothes mom got me and decide on a maroon button up shirt and black jeans with my black doc martens. I gel my hair and about that time is when I get a text:

Blake:

Hey! I'm outside!

Okay! I'll be right out!

I double check I have everything and head out, saying bye to my parents. I walk out and see him leaning up against his car. He hugs me and I hug back, taking in his scent that seems oddly comforting. We break apart and he goes to open my door. I smile at him as I get in the car and he smiles back. He gets in and starts driving. I tentatively reach across the center console to grab his hand and he holds it. We smile at each other and he pulls into a small hole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant. We get out and he grabs my hand again as we walk in.

"Reservation for Gallo" he says to the hostess. She nods and grabs 2 menus taking us to our table. We look at them and decide what we want. He gets the chicken enchiladas with a coke and I get fish tacos with a sprite. She takes our orders and walks away. I reach across the table and hold his hand. We start talking about our childhoods. He learns I wasn't born to mom and dad and I learn about how his family died. We talk for so long we don't realize our food is here until it gets set down. We eat, and he pays even though I try to protest. He just says "I asked out on a date. If this goes well, you can pay for the next one." I sigh and realize he wasn't going to give it up so I relent. We head back out to his car and he drives us out to a ledge to look over the city. He has a truck and backed it up so we can lay on his bed to look at the stars. We cuddled there since he brought blankets to lay down. We didn't talk, I just had my head on his chest, watching the stars.

"Evan?" He asks softly.

I look up at him and respond, "yeah?"

He looks down at me and asks, "can I kiss you?"

I nod and meet him halfway. His lips are so soft and sweet. His tongue is asking permission to enter my mouth and I let it. I moan into his mouth and he does the same when I put my tongue in his. We make out for a few minutes before we have to take a breather. We rest our foreheads against each other.

"That was amazing," I breathed out.

He just nods and we sit there. He then leans in to kiss me again, this time much more chaste.

"Do you wanna come back to my place? We don't have to have sex, but I just want to snuggle you" he asks after a few.

I look up at him through my eyelashes and nod. We get out of his truck bed and he grabs the blankets and shuts the tailgate. I climb in and let my dad know I won't be home. He just sends back winky faces and tells me to be safe. I sent him the middle finger emoji and shut my phone off. He climbs in and we head to his place. He turns on the radio and I hear one of my favorite songs, From The Ground Up by Dan+Shay. I start humming along and then when Blake turns it up I start to sing which causes him to sing along too. We both laugh and are so joyful when the song ends that we keep singing along with the radio. We pull into his apartment complex and get out. We get up there and I realize I don't have pajamas. I tell Blake this and he tells me I can borrow a shirt and sweats from him. He hands them to me and I go change. We fall asleep pretty quickly, him spooning me from behind. I feel so comfortable in his arms and it just feels right. I never believed in soulmates, but Blake Gallo is making me believe in them now.

I wake up the next morning to see Blake looking at me lovingly. I smile back up at him and kiss him. We both smile into the kiss.

"I gotta get back to my parents before shift since I don't want to go in my nice clothes" I murmur against his lips.

"Or you could borrow my clothes if you want?" He says with a shrug.

I agree, not really wanting to head back to my parents. I borrow a pair of jeans a t shirt, neither of us looking at it closely.

We head out and go to the firehouse. I hold his hand across the center console again, occasionally pulling out joined hands to kiss them. On the way there he asks me to be his boyfriend and I agree immediately. When we pull in, we smile at each other and get out. We keep our hands joined, not wanting to hide this from our family. We hear wolf whistles and cheers and we just shake our heads with smiles.

"Hey kid! Nice shirt!" I hear Mouch say.

I turn around confused a little bit before Stella takes pity on me,

"Cubby, your shirt says 'Gallo'"

We both blush and walk away. I hear Ritter going to talk to Blake and I see the resident hubby's walking over to me. They pull me into Matt's bunk and push me onto the bed.

"Talk" they both say.

I sigh and say, "okay, so the day before yesterday, I got a text from Blake asking if he wants to go on a date. The night before when it was just Ritter, him, me, and my parents, when he came to say goodbye, I was so drunk I pulled him into a hug and kissed his cheek. I apologized the next morning but he asked me on a date and I said yes. He picked me up from my parents house, opened the car door for me like a gentleman, and we went to a Mexican restaurant, then out to the ledge that looks out over the city. We laid in the bed of his truck just watching the stars when he asked if he could kiss me. I said yes, we kissed a few times then he asked if I wanted to go back to his place. He said we don't need to have sex and that he just wants to snuggle me. I agree, let my dad know, which was a mistake considering he is a kid at heart. We sang along to the radio on the way back since my favorite song came on, we got back to his place and he gave me sweats and a shirt to wear. We laid in bed, with him as the big spoon. We woke up together and I was at first gonna ask him to drop me off at home but then he just said I can borrow clothes from him so we don't have to go back. He hands me what I'm wearing, we don't look at the shirt obviously. On the way here we hold hands across the console, I keep kissing our joined hands. We then walk into the firehouse and you know the rest."

They nod along to the entire rant and finally Matt asks, "Are you happy?"

I nod enthusiastically and say, "Very. I haven't been this happy in a long time"

They both nod and get up to give me a hug. I start to tear up because having their and my parents' approval are very important to me.

"As long as you are happy Cub, we are happy." Kelly says, Matt agreeing. At that, I finally let my tears fall and they hug me again and kiss my forehead. After a few, I finally get it together and head out of the bunk. I see Blake talking to Ritter, Otis, and Cruz in the bunk room, so I go up to him and hug him. He hugs me back, a little confused but not complaining. He kisses my forehead ignoring the other three who are looking at the couple with a fond look. They walk away to give us a little privacy, shutting the door.

"What's wrong baby?" He asks me.

I sniff and then look up at him, "Nothing. I am just glad that they are accepting of our relationship. I know we just had our first date last night, but I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

He looks down at me with tears in his eyes too, and kisses my forehead again then my lips.

"I can't imagine my life without you too. All I could dream about last night was marrying you someday and adopting kids with you. I genuinely feel like you are my soulmate. I love you."

At that, the tears start flowing, he wipes my tears with his thumbs and kisses me.

"I love you too" I tell him softly. At that, the alarm goes off and then we are off, but not without one more kiss.

When I climb into the truck, dad asks me if I'm okay. I nod and smile at him, telling him I'll talk to him later. He nods and we are off.

When we get back, Blake and I go to talk to Boden to fill out paperwork for our relationship. He tells us he is proud of us and thanks us for filling out the paperwork. We nod and he hugs us both.

We head into the lounge and decide to cude together on the couch, but not in Mouch's spot. I close my eyes and lay my head on his shoulder. I feel him lay his head on mine and then I am asleep. We wake up when the alarm goes off again.

"Rise and shine lovebirds!" Capp yells at us. We flip him off together. The fire goes out pretty quickly and we are headed back to the station. Blake asks me if we can talk when we pull in and I nod and ask Kelly if we can use his bunk to talk. He says sure, so we head there.

"Okay, I know we literally just started dating, but how would you feel about moving in with me? I know you are looking for a place and your stuff will be here soon. If you don't want to, that's fine, but I figured it would be better for you, and we can split the rent. Whatdya say?"

I take that in for a moment before nodding with a bright grin coming across my face.

"Yeah?" He asks, a hopeful look on his face.

"Yeah." I confirm with a bright grin.

"Yay!! I'm so glad you said yes!"

"I am too. I meant what I said when I said I want to grow old with you. I want to get married and have kids with you. I love you."

"I love you too." He then leaned down to kiss me and I kissed back.

We walk out of the bunk holding hands and smiling. As the shift comes to an end I tell him that I'll head back to my parents for the night and let them know what I'm planning on doing. He says okay and we kiss and head off in different directions. Dad and I get to their house and see my Jeep is there finally. I'm glad, because as much as I love my dad driving me, I need my own vehicle. We walk in and mom greets us. We eat and then I tell them I need to talk to them. They look concerned so I reassure them it's nothing bad.

"Mom, dad, as I'm sure you know by now, Blake Gallo and I are dating. And I know we just started dating but I feel as if I've known him my entire life. He is the person I want to grow old with. He is the person I want to marry someday. He is the person I want to adopt kids with. And I know he feels the same cause he told me. I love him and he loves me. So he asked me to move in with him just because he knows I'm looking for a place and the rent would be cheaper. So I said yes. I hope that's okay."

They look at me with proud looks and tears in their eyes.

"Evan, of course it's okay. After hearing that, I firmly believe you two are soulmates. I don't always believe in love at first sight, but I saw you guys the first time you saw each other and something clicked. Your mother and I will always love you and always be proud of you. We will help you move your stuff along with I'm sure the rest of the firehouse. They all saw something there, and I know you two are meant for each other."

At this point, all of had tears down our faces. I nod and don't say anything because I don't trust my voice. They pull me into a hug and we just hug for a long time. Eventually I speak, "I think I'll stay here for the rest of the week, since we have this weekend off, we can move my stuff then"

They nod and we all head off to bed, but not before they both kiss my forehead. I fall asleep that night thinking of the names Evan Gallo and Blake Herrmann.

The weeks goes by quick. Blake and I explain what we are gonna do and they all agree to help us that weekend. Saturday rolls around and we get everything unpacked pretty quickly since Ieft all my furniture and didn't have much. Next thing I know I'm FaceTiming Maddie, Chim, and Hen to introduce them to my Blake as my boyfriend a few weeks later. They are shocked at first but by the end, Maddie and Chim are coming over for Christmas in a few months. We say bye and hang up the phone. I sigh contently and look over at my boyfriend. He looks back at me lovingly. It's been about a month since we got together. I already bought a ring, but I'm gonna wait a little longer.

*Time skip*

It's now December, getting closer to Christmas time. I want to propose on Christmas in front of our family. Since we became more serious, my family accepted him more. They already liked him since they knew him before, but it's different than being a coworker vs your son's boyfriend. Maddie and Chim are coming like they said they would. They'll be here tomorrow. The firehouse tease us about our relationship, but we both know they are happy for us. They do the same thing with Kel and Matty and Shay and Sylvie, but it's all joking. Christmas rolls around and I'm nervous and excited at the same. We show up at my parents and they let us in. Maddie and Chim are there since they are staying there instead of a hotel. We start opening presents and when it gets to my turn for Blake, I get down on one knee and pull out the ring. Behind me I hear mom and Maddie gasp but right now in focused on Blake.

"Blake, ever since I first laid eyes on you in the lounge room, I knew I liked you. That then morphed into love. I can't see myself with anyone else. I want to have children with you. I want to grow grey and wrinkly with you. I want marry you. So Blake James Gallo, will you marry me?"

He nods yes and falls down to me and we hug and kiss each other like our life depended on it. I slip the ring on as our family cheers for us and gives us all hugs. I see Blake reach into his pocket and pull out a velvet box.

"I was gonna ask you later this week, but Evan Buckley-Herrmann, will you marry me?"

I nod and we kiss again. We put our rings on and keep celebrating Christmas with our family.

We also bought the rubber rings for at work. We aren't telling anyone right out, we are gonna see who figures it out first. I bet on Shay, Blake says Matt, dad says Sylvie, mom and Maddie say Otis, and Chim who has gotten to know 51, says Stella. In the end, mom and Maddie were right. He noticed our rings and congratulated us prompting everyone else to do the same. The girls offered to plan it with Maddie. I ask Maddie to be my best woman and Blake asks Ritter to be his best man. We asked Boden to officiate it. My dad will walk me down the aisle. We each took turns deciding who we wanted for our groomsmen/women. We ended up doing a fall wedding because that is our favorite season and we had many people from intelligence, med, and firehouse 51 and a few people from California. Our first dance is the song we sang together on our first date. About a year into our marriage Blake and I decided to adopt twins. We now have two girls named Maeve Gallo and Robin Gallo who are 4. They love all the aunts and uncles they have from everywhere in Chicago and LA. They also love their "Papa Herrmann and Grammy Cindy. But also their grandpa Boden". Everyday I am thankful that I decided to leave LA and I'm thankful that the Herrmanns adopted me because if they didn't I don't know where I would be. But I thank God the Buckleys didn't want me and that captain Nash shut me out.

And we'll build this love from the ground up

Now 'til forever it's all of me, all of you

Just take my hand

And I'll be the man your dad hoped that I'd be

And we'll build this love from the ground up

For worse or for better

And I will be all you need

Beside you I'll stand through the good and the bad

We'll give all that we have

And we'll build this love from the ground up

Dan+Shay

[desiraypark]

When the Sun Sleeps in Canto Bight [12]

Previous Entire Series Referenced Chapter (Kylo’s Scar) CHAPTER PLAYERS Ruby Girard-Solo Kylo Ren aka Ben Solo Artoo, The Bartender Rose Tico, Manager of the Organa Hotel “Uncle” Lando Calrissian Kuruk (Knights of Ren) Leia Organa-Solo “Uncle” Bacca “Chewie” Maychew  CHAPTER CONTENT Mild Violence: Domestic (face grab and slaps); abuse against employee (pistol-whip and punch) Plotting/Murder mention Brief commentary on aging (watching parents/loved ones get older)

Relaxed, fresh, and light--Ruby glided through the bare tables of the Organa Hotel’s lounge and sat at the bar. Everyone was probably too busy enjoying Canto Bight’s sights, or the hotel’s amenities. 

“Good afternoon!” Artoo, the bartender greeted her.

“Good afternoon, Artoo. I’d like the most afternoon appropriate drink you have. Something with citrus, perhaps?”

“I’ve got the perfect thing. Coming right up.”

Ruby looked up at the exit just in time to see Rose saunter by, then take two steps backward. She floated into the lounge and sat beside Ruby.

“Good afternoon, Mrs. Solo. Will you be joining the meeting with Leia this afternoon?” she asked. Ruby’s eyebrows knitted together.

“No, I don’t know about any meeting,” Ruby answered.

Rose nodded. “Must be a business meeting. How was the spa yesterday?”

“It was divine. I may have to visit them every week.”

“You should! And I’m not saying that as the manager,” Rose said leaning in. “I’ve found that moms especially enjoy the spa. Weekly, monthly, bi-weekly. It’s a great way to relax and rejuvenate.”

“I agree. I’ll try to make a future appointment.”

“Great!” Rose looked over her shoulder. “If you need anything, I’m in my office today.”

She leaned in and again and whispered. “Some weirdo’s been wandering around the hotel these last couple of days and I'll be down here keeping an eye on him.”

Artoo slid an orange-colored drink to Ruby and she chuckled. 

“Be careful,” she said to Rose.

“Oh, I will.”

Rose gently placed her hands against her chest. “Boobs aren’t the only thing I squeeze into this bra.”

Ruby laughed and Rose winked. Then, she strolled back out of the lounge. Ruby took a sip of her drink. She smiled and nodded at Artoo, who patiently awaited her approval. He nodded back and tended to other bar tasks.

About ten minutes passed and Ruby was sipping on her refill, and munching on peanuts. Then, an older gentleman sauntered into the bar. He was quite handsome--wavy hair, smooth brown skin--and wore a slate blue suit. He left the seat between him and Ruby empty, but flashed a beautiful smile at her, then Artoo.

“Holt 45, Mr. Calrissian?” Artoo asked.

“You know it.”

Artoo reached under the bar, pulled out a can, popped it open, and slid it to the man.

“Calrissian?” Ruby asked. “Would you happen to be Mr. Lando Calrissian?”

The man smiled. “Lando Calrissian, I happen to be.”

“My name’s Ruby.” She slid into the empty seat and held her hand out. “Ruby Girard...Solo…”

A wide grin formed across Lando’s face. “Ben’s wife!” 

Lando bypassed the handshake and hugged Ruby. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”

“Ben talks about you a lot--Uncle Lando.”

“Haven’t heard that in a while. He’s the only person who’s ever called me Uncle Lando. It was Uncle Wando when he was really little.”

“Aww,” Ruby hummed.

“How is he?”

“He’s...he’s alright…” 

“Is he Ben?” Lando asked, acknowledging her lack of words.

Ruby laughed and nodded. “He’s Ben.”

“Apparently, I’m a granduncle, too,” Lando added.

“Yes. You are a granduncle three times.”

“So Han has told me! I can only hope that old Ben brings the family around me someday.”

“I’ll pass the message to him,” Ruby said.

Lando smiled and shrugged. “Of course, I haven’t been around much myself. Not since Leia and Han split, I suppose.”

“I’m sure Ben would be glad to know that I met you. I assume you’re here to meet Leia?”

“Yes, I am,” Lando answered. He looked down at his watch. “I’m pretty early. I wanted to get a drink, first.”

Lando and Ruby talked for about twenty minutes--about the children, about Ben. Ruby didn’t tell him about her frustrations with Ben, and he didn’t talk about the purpose of his meeting with Leia. Finally, Lando looked down at his watch again.

“I guess I’ll be heading up.”

“I think I should head to my room, too.”

“Shall I walk you?” Lando asked.

“I’d be honored.”

Lando helped Ruby off her barstool and escorted her out the lounge, through the lobby, and into the elevator. Her suite and the room he’d be meeting Leia in happened to be on the same floor. When they got off the elevator, Leia was walking out of the conference room with a bucket of ice.

“Hi, Ruby!” she said. “I’m going to come by and see you after this meeting. I need to get some ice for these damned drinks, first.”

Ruby laughed. “I’ll be in my room, probably taking a nap.”

____________________

Kylo called Leia. She wasn’t home. Crystal wasn’t home. Han would be at the cathedral, certainly. He dropped the kids off at Vic and Tillie’s--saying that he had an emergency and explaining no further. Then, he made his way to the Organa Hotel.

“Some guy. Kinda old. Nice lookin’...” Kuruk had told him.

“And they went upstairs?” Kylo repeated, making sure he had the partial information correct.

“Yep.”

Kylo practically crushed the handset in his hands.

About an hour and a half later, he and Kuruk were strolling through the hotel lobby and up the elevator to the top floor. The doors couldn’t open fast enough for Kylo. He flew out of the elevator and to the special suite - a suite his mom had dragged him to as a kid, while she took meetings next door. He remembered the beautiful view; the floral sheets that transformed into satin as he got older. He banged on the door--and for far too long, if you asked him.

Finally, Ruby looked through the peephole with eyes full of curiosity and annoyance. She didn’t open the door all the way--she just peeped through the small space she’d made.

“Kylo?”

Kylo pushed the door open and strolled through the room. “Where is he?”

“Where is who?” Ruby asked. As he walked past her, he looked her up and down--her body adorned in the silk robe he’d bought her. Her hair held no finger or Marcel wave--in its natural state and frizzy in the back--like she’d been rolling around on it. 

The sight burned him up, and he dropped to his knees, searching under the bed. Then, he jumped back to his feet. 

“Kylo, what are you doing?!”

Kylo grabbed Ruby by the jaw and pushed her into the wall. 

“Don’t play with me! Where the fuck is he?! Where’s the son of a bitch you came up here with!”

Ruby struggled against Kylo’s grip. 

“Get off me!” she cried.

When her desperate attempt to pry his hand from her jaw failed, she slapped him across the face. Then, he slapped her back--sending her to the floor with a gasp.

“Boss! Here he is!” Kuruk said outside of the suite. Kylo rushed out of the room and slid into the hallway, where he was met with the sight of his mother, his Uncle Lando, and his Uncle Chewie--leaving the conference room with friendly smiles.

“Benny Boy!” Lando shouted, his arms outstretched.

Kylo’s face turned red and he glared at Kuruk. “The one in blue.”

“Hey, Uncle Lando,” he said, letting the old man embrace him. He hugged him back.

“What are you doing here, Ben?” Leia asked. She looked at him, observing the redness of his face as he walked over to hug his Uncle Chewie. Then, she glanced at the stranger with her son. She walked a few yards to the opened suite where Ruby had her suitcase on the floor and was dropping her clothes inside.

“Excuse me, one second,” Kylo said, rushing away from his long-lost “uncles” before they started to catch up on old times. He rushed into the suite and was immediately greeted by his mother’s opened palm. He saw it coming, but he put up no fight.

“Go in the conference room,” Leia growled.

“Ruby, I’m sorry,” he said, stepping toward Ruby. Leia stepped in front of him.

“Go into the conference room, NOW!” Leia repeated.

Tears fell down Kylo’s face. Ruby looked up at him with tears in hers. He walked out of the suite, and before going to his designated stop, he pulled his gun from his holster and hit Kuruk across the face with it.

“Ben!” Uncle Lando and Uncle Chewie shouted.

“What the fuck?!” Kuruk shouted. Kylo slammed him into the wall.

“That’s Lando Calrissian you fuckin’ idiot!” Kylo yelled into Kuruk’s face. Then, he punched him in the gut. “He’s my fuckin’ Uncle. You dumb bitch!”

Lando and Chewie pulled their “nephew” away, as Kuruk held his aching stomach.

“I’m sorry, Boss. I didn’t fuckin’ know!”

____________________ “Where is she going?” Kylo asked as soon as his mother stepped into the conference room. 

Lando and Chewie rose to their feet like gentlemen.

“We’ve got something more important to talk about right now,” Leia said. Lando held her seat for her, then he sat down beside her.

“You know what?” Leia asked. She looked at Lando. “I could kill him myself right now. So one of you tell him.” Lando’s eyebrows lifted, and he looked at Chewie. Then, Chewie looked at Kylo. 

“Sheev Palpatine was at the Jabba Palace last night,” Chewie said.

“And a couple of other men. Men that we believe work for you,” Lando added.

“They were younger than him--but older than you,” Chewie confirmed. “They were saying that you’re not fit to lead the Knights of Ren anymore.” 

Kylo’s eyes followed each man as they talked, occasionally landing on his mother’s contorted and angry face.

“And they talked about taking you out, son,” Lando said, finally bursting the bubble.

Kylo’s eyes landed back on Lando. Silence permeated the air. Leia’s face softened. 

“Son, I want you out of this mess,” she said, leaning forward. “I want you out of this life now,” she said.

Kylo’s eyes darted across the three people before him. They all seemed so big, once upon a time. Now, all three of them appeared to be a few inches shorter. Lando, a little heavier--less hair than the last time he’d seen him. His mother, her famous long hair now gray. Uncle Chewie--famously hair, was less hairy. And the hair on his head was gray. 

After taking them and their news in, Kylo rose from his seat and walked out of the door.

First, he stopped at Ruby’s suite, and knocked on the door.

“She’s gone, Ben,” Leia said, standing outside of the conference room. “Let’s finish talking about this, Sweetie.”

Kylo stared at the door. Then, he kicked it.

“I’m going to find my wife,” he said.

He walked down the hallway, toward the elevators. 

As he waited for the doors to open, he glanced in the ornately bordered mirror beside him. The ceiling light highlighted every one of his features. It lightened his dark hair. It made him see the scar along his cheek--and he immediately remembered why it was there in the first place. 

He was supposed to be the only person in his house with a scar on their face. Her tears were supposed to be joyful. Never sadness. Never pain, if he could help it. The only time she was supposed to be stretched out on the floor, was when he was making love to her on it. Suddenly, he realized that he too, was a few inches shorter.

[jaunes-erotic-world]

D'Va transfers to Beacon to be with her friend/lover Jaune and ends up partnered with a melee specialist named Bridgette. Bridgette is curious about her new friend's boyfriend. She ends up in bed with both of them.

When Hana got permission to go to Beacon she was over the moonshe could spend time with people her own age not to mention Jaune she was sohype. It was even better one of her only friends from Atlas was coming withher. Her name was Brigitte, her dad was one of the mechanics that did stufffor the testing center she worked at. She was super pretty and strong, girl wascut like a diamond.

“Hana you ready to go,” Brigittesaid poking her head into Hana’s room. The northeastern Altisian was dressedcomfortably in a a sleeveless shirt, showing off her guns, and her overalls orrather half of her overalls.

“Yea I just have a bit moreto go,” Hana was wearing a new favorite piece of clothing. When she met Jaunelast time she was so mad that he had won that limited edition Pumpkin Petehoodie, thus she made her own. Where his was black hers was light blue, hisorange hers pink and of course instead of Pete she used her own bunny. She hadjust finished packing the last box of games she had.

The two girls loaded up theirgear and set out for Beacon. Brigitte was almost frightened by how excited herfriend was, she understood that a friend from when she was a kid went there butstill. It was a long trip full of Hana playing her Swap and Brigitte tinkeringand eating some of her mom’s baked goods. But soon out the window they sawBeacon’s famous tower. Then Hana started to gyrate in excitement again. Whenthey landed they were met with Beacon’s headmaster, Ozpin, and DeputyHeadmistress, Glynda Goodwitch.

“Welcome to Beacon Academy,ladies we are very happy to have you joining our hallowed ranks,” he said. “Dueto your mid semester enrollment we do not have a team for you to join. However,I believe we will be getting more soon, so stand pat. Now we have a dormprepared for you so we will have people bring it there for you, while we goover your new life here.”

“This way ladies,” Glyndasaid ushering them to walk with Ozpin and herself. They talked about classes,campus rules and regulations, the full spiel. At his office their scrolls weregiven key passcodes for their lockers and the key for their dorm.

“Well that was an ordeal ehHana,” Brigitte said stretching her arms above her head. But instead of ofanswer she heard her partner squeal loudly in excitement and saw her beeline toa tall blonde in armor.

“Jaaaaaaauuuuuuunnnnnne,” thedark-haired girl said jumping at the boy. She almost knocked him down but hemanaged to keep his balance and catch her.“Ha-,” he was cut off to andhis and Brigitte’s surprise when the gamer wrapped her arms around his headmashed her lips onto his.

It caused Brigitte to blushwhen her friend began to moan while kissing the boy. Finally, they parted lipsa small strand of droll still connecting them. “Haaaheeew,” she inhaledheavily. “Surprise Babe, guess who goes to Beacon now.”

“I’m assuming you,” hechuckled pulling her closer to hug her tightly.

After a bit of hugging thatseemed like it wouldn’t end Brigitte coughed to get their attention, “ Hana areyou going to introduce me?” She asked

“Oh right,” Hana said gettingdown from the boys grip. “Jaune this is Bridgette, she is my friend andpartner. Brigitte this is Jaune the guy I told you about.”

“Hi nice to meet youBrigitte,” he smiled extending his hand.

She grasped it and shook it.“Nice to finally meet you I’ve heard much about you, except the part where youand Hana are together,” she looked over at Hana.

“I didn’t? Oops,” she saidclosing one eye sticking her tongue out and bopping herself on the head. “Wellit doesn’t matter show us around Jaune.” She dragged his arm with her.

The next two weeks weremellow but fun. Getting to know new people, exploring Vale and Beacon. The twogirls were settling in nicely to their new average lives until one day.

Brigitte was returning to thedorm from the gym when she heard Hana talking to Jaune. “Eeerrrr it’s so hardJaune,” Brigitte could here Hans say through the door in squeaky grunts.

Hana could get legitimatelyfrightening when she was mad over a game. Brigitte didn’t want to go in but shewas drenched in sweat and needed a shower and change of clothes. So, she openedthe door a crack to watch for a good point to sneak past but when she did hereyes went wide.

The Northeastern Altisiangirl couldn’t believe what she was seeing. Her friend and partner Hana were intheir dorm almost completely naked riding her boyfriend. ‘I mean they’re datingthem having sex isn’t that big a stretch but it is literally a big stretch,’she thought. By big stretch she meant Hana’s slim and petite body was taking ahuge cock inside her.

“Jaune you feel so good mypussy is so wet,” Hana moaned out bouncing up and down on Jaune’s sword.

“You’re the same babe,” hesaid between grunts, “your pussy is so tight and the way you move your hipsit’s driving me insane.”

“Oh, you mean like this,” shesaid going down to the hilt and moved her hips around drawing of course,circle, triangle, square, and X. They both made pleasured noises during this.

Just outside the door theirsole audience member was transfixed on the scene before her. She didn’t evenrealize it till now that her panties were wet, nipples were hard and clitunhooded. Her hands moved unconsciously one to her chest where she groped herbreasts and flick her nipples. The other between her legs inside her nowunbuckled pants. She fingered her flower and rubbed her clit hard with herthumb.

More minutes of this thedarker haired soon bit her right thumb, her left hand played with her chest andJaune squeezed her ass tightly as he bounced her harder and harder. “J-JauneI’m I’m cuuuummmmming,” she cried out her tongue lolling out her back and headarching backwards. But she wasn’t the only one who did.

Outside the room Brigitte’seyes shut tight and her jaw clenched as her orgasm arrived juice pooled on thefloor and squatting body fell over into the door gap. “Brigitte?!” Hana saidlooking at her friend. She was shocked at what was happening her partner hadseen her having sex with Jaune, from her appearance and ‘elegant’ entrance shehad been masterbating to them and that her watching turned her on. She walkedup to her and looked down at her.

“I am so sorry,” she saidstanding up “I was coming back from the gym and then I-ahhhmmm,” Brigitte startedto say when Hana locked lips with her and started to squeeze her chest. Brigitteblue screened in confusion even after she had stopped being kissed by herpartner. Hana led her over to her bed. Where she stripped her of her top andblack sports bra.

“My my it seems that youliked being a voyeur Bridgette. Tell me what part you liked the best,” Hanasaid feeling the squire up. Brigitte always had a feeling the gamer was bi butthis confirmed it.

“He was so big and your pussyis so small it was just so hot,” she moaned as her chest was being felt up.

“That is pretty hot,” Hanasaid and thinking of an idea. “Something else that’s unfortunately small aboutme is my chest so I can’t do something I’ve wanted to. However, your tits arenice and big so how about you help.”

Jaune had been watching thiswhole time his cock pulsing hard and red. Then Hana had Brigitte on her stomachin front of him then putting her breasts around his cock. Brigitte began totitfuck him her warm breath on his cock head. Every so often Hana would kiss/suck the head but she mostly spent her time fingering and spanking the Herpartner’s toned ass.

Soon the stimulus to herpussy caused the brown-haired girl to cum. When she did she had squeezed hertits together hard and then she arched her back fast giving Jaune just theamount of pleasure to cum as well. He erupted on her face and breasts then sherolled over beside Jaune. She was trying to catch he breath before she shiveredas Hana licked the cum off her.

“Thanks for helping me withthat I think you deserve a reward,” the gamer said to the squire. She pulledher and got her on her hands and knees. She grabbed the other girl’s hips andshook her ass at Jaune. “You know what to do babe,” she winked.

Hana covered her boyfriend’scock in lube while he lined up. “This may hurt at first so bear with it,” Jaunetold her. He then pressed slowly into her cavern. Thankfully due to hertraining her hymen was in a state where bleeding and intense pain wasn’t aproblem, though there was still mild pain. When he was in all the way he waitedfor her to adapt to his size. When she felt she was ready she wiggled her rearas a signal. He started pumping slow to her used to the act but he got fasterand harder as time went on. When she began to feel it she began to moan andswear in pleasure. At one point due to the fact that it was arm day, the twolimbs gave out leaving her solely on her knees, face down ass up. The blondefucked her faster and faster all the while Hana made out with him and both ofthem spanked her sexy ass.

Her pussy clenched over andover every time she came, it trying to milk his ball for all they were worth.After several minutes her tongue had fallen out of her mouth her headsurrounded by pool of drool, that’s when she felt a throb and heard a groan.She felt her partner’s hands groping/massaging her ass. “Here it ‘cums’,” shechuckled as she was filled by the eruption of Jaune’s hot sperm. The hot rushcaused her to cry out again.

She felt Jaune exit her witha pop his cum flowing out. She heard Hana sucking him off. Brigitte then passedout a smile on her face ‘Beacon is the best’

[sleepykalena]

Summary:

Jyn and Cassian have been together for three years, but now that Cassian is on his third deployment, Jyn has to deal with the fact that she has to spend yet another Christmas alone.

For @carr-crashh-heartss, my Rebelcaptain Secret Santa giftee, whose prompt was “All I want for Christmas is you”! I hope this was an angsty enough read with a fluffy ending! <3

[AO3 Link]

Alternatively, you can read more under the cut!

“Are you seriously not going to do anything for Christmas?”

“Curling up on the couch with a glass of wine and Netflix is something, Leia!”

“No, it is not!” Leia insisted. “Jyn, Christmas is in three days; why aren’t you doing anything for it?”

Jyn shot her a look, and Leia’s face softened slightly when she saw the hint of sadness forming at the edges of her eyes.

“Right…sorry,” Leia whispered.

Jyn traced a finger around the rim of her glass and the ice clinked. The bar table they sat in was isolated, but the ambiance around them bustled in the holiday cheer. She loathed it. She wanted to roll her eyes at it. And the only reason why she dragged herself out of her office was because Leia stormed right in and refused to leave until she looked up from her computer and went to lunch with her.

“So how’s Han? And Ben?” Jyn asked, trying to change the subject.

Leia shrugged. “Han’s been busy as usual. Luckily I was allowed to use up some of my leave, so I can watch over Ben while Han finally gets some time to himself.”

“Does he still have temper tantrums?”

“Who, Han or Ben?”

“Han,” Jyn said before sticking her tongue out.

Leia rolled her eyes as Jyn cackled at the accomplishment of her own joke. “You know I meant Ben,” Jyn finally said as she came down from her laughter.

“They’re called Terrible Two’s for a reason,” Leia joked. “Honestly it’s a process to try and understand him.”

There was a contemplative silence between the two after the waitress came back to refill their glasses of water. Jyn continued to trace a finger along the rim of the glass while Leia took a sip out of her own.

“It’s always a bit of a process, isn’t it?” Jyn asked quietly.

Leia nodded. She knew. Jyn was confident that she knew. Being enlisted and married can be taxing in a relationship. Not that she and Cassian were married. But they may as well have been.

Or so she’d like to think.

Jyn sat back and slumped against the tall chair. “I mean, really, me being miserable by all this? I should’ve seen it coming. I don’t know what I was thinking. I even had a rule about it.” Don’t date a man who’s just going to be constantly sent on deployment. It was a rule she broke and, three deployments later, she’s been feeling emotionally drained about Cassian constantly being gone during times when people were just expected to be together.

“You know how it goes,” Cassian attempted to explain. “This is my job, please try to understand.”

She remembered nodding at him. “I understand.”

“I’m hoping I’ll be back within 6 months; at least, that’s what I’ve been told,” he said as he packed his duffle.

Jyn could only nod. She knew just as well as he did that the chain of command was never going to tell him exactly how long his deployment would be; why would they? The fewer the people in the know, the better. That sort of intel was above Cassian’s pay grade. Chances were good that she’d have to go through yet another Christmas without him, and the tone in his voice betrayed the hope he tried to exhibit to ease her.

Cassian stood up and took her face in his hands. “Please say you understand and mean it,” he pleaded, his eyes searching hers for some level of understanding.

Instead of looking him straight in the eye, Jyn had shut herself back into her memories as her eyes were downcast; she remembered the face of her father, and their final exchange before he was practically ripped away from him, her family torn apart and broken.

She opened her mouth, took a breath, and looked up at Cassian’s eyes. “I understand,” she said again, but the words felt hollower in her head as she recited them. The corners of her lips flicked upwards into a smile, an attempt to hide the loneliness she was already pre-emptively feeling.

Cassian smiled back, warm and loving as ever, and pulled her into a hug.

Jyn claimed she understood, but just like with her 8-year old self, saying that she understood was wildly different from actually understanding it. She so badly wanted to, but she just couldn’t, not this time. It chipped away at her with every passing week since.

It took her two weeks to learn that if she buried herself in her work, she could make herself so tired that she’d pass out on the couch and not think too hard about how cold their bed had become since his deployment.

“I’m sure Cassian’s trying his best,” Leia reached out to put a hand on Jyn’s. It twitched under her touch, as if it reviled the contact.

“He is. I know he is.” Jyn sighed. “But that doesn’t change the missed anniversaries, the missed parties, the constant stress of wondering when he’ll come back, assuming he comes back at all, and…”

Jyn couldn’t finish her sentence. No additional words were needed, however. Leia knew; she just came back from deployment herself.

“Are you sure you don’t want to spend Christmas with us? I’ve got my yearly Christmas party, and you can just save your Netflix binge for later that night,” Leia offered.

She nodded. “Kes and Shara already tried to invite me to their place, but honestly you guys are both married and have families to go to for the holidays. I’m used to being alone. It’s probably for the best, anyway- I’d rather not drag a holiday party down just because I miss him.” Because seeing the rest of you together is a reminder of what I can’t have right now.

Leia tried to open her mouth to make a counterargument, but she looked at Jyn from across their table, looking so drained from her crammed holiday work hours, that she thought better of it and shut her mouth. Instead, she closed her fingers around Jyn’s hand and squeezed them gently.

Jyn rolled her eyes, but then looked away shyly with a small chuckle. “That’s too much sentiment, Leia.”

“Alright, well,” Leia lifted her hand off Jyn’s and clasped it with her own in excitement. “Can I interest you in a good bottle of wine for Christmas to go with your Netflix binge-watching instead?”

She turned her head to gaze back at her with a wide grin. “Now we’re talking.”

Cassian sighed as he lay back on his bed and ran his thumb over a picture of him and Jyn at the beach. His skin had tanned a little more easily than Jyn, and he had turned a warm, golden tan as he wrapped his arms around Jyn’s chest from behind. Her pale arms, turning a bit pinkish from the intensity of the sunlight, were outstretched past the picture’s boundaries as she held her phone up for the selfie.

They were wet, sandy, and squinty from the sun. But they looked happy- the wide grin on her face and crinkled eyes paired well with his own soft, gentle smile.

It was one of the few photos they ever managed to take.

It seemed a bit asinine to print a physical picture when everyone had electronic devices. But Cassian learned that it was a lot better to brush a thumb over Jyn’s lips in the picture and not have to worry about swiping to the next photo in his album in the process.

He missed her lips; they made smiles that caused him to melt, they’d part ways as she exhaled in amusement at whatever dumb joke he had to make, and they pouted in such an adorable way whenever he had to go to work on Mondays, when he was back at his duty station.

There was a pang in his heart when he saw those same lips turned slightly downward as she saw him off so many months ago.

He’d been nearing the end of his 8th month of deployment; he wasn’t sure exactly when he’d return at this point. Another missed Christmas at this rate, he lamented.

It started to hurt to look at this beach photo. It was taken on a random date when they went out to the beach, a spur-of-the-moment day that should be cherished, surely, but…

The longer he was away from home, the more the picture became a reminder that this was all he could bring because there weren’t many occasions for them to take pictures in the first place.

“How much longer do you plan on staring at that picture, Cassian?” someone asked, entering the shared quarters he was in.

Cassian looked up. A dark-skinned man with an equally shaved head as his own towered over him, looking down at him quizzically.

“For as long as we’re still out here, Kay; I thought you knew that,” he responded with a chuckle.

Kay took a seat on his own cot across from Cassian. “Have you told her when we’re coming back yet?”

He shook his head slightly. “I’ve tried calling her twice, but she hasn’t picked up.”

“Is she avoiding you?”

“I’m sure she’s just busy at work.”

“To avoid you.”

“Kay,” Cassian reprimanded.

“Tell me how I’m wrong,” Kay challenged. “I’ll even bet she hasn’t responded to your bi-weekly email updates.”

Cassian refused to answer.

Kay hummed in response to the silence.

It was hard to refute that.

On Cassian’s first deployment, the first thing he did was leave an email for Jyn once he had access to WiFi. Her responses were rather quick. The honeymoon phase didn’t last that long, however, and Jyn started to sound more and more dispirited with time. After a few weeks, however, her responses were curt, and came at a much slower rate than before.

Hey Jyn,

We had to deal with some IEDs, but it wasn’t anything we couldn’t handle. Just a minor convenience. I miss you, though. Tell me about your day? It’s been pretty boring here for the past week. How have you been?

Love,

Cassian

Her response?

Hey,

Things are fine. Busy at work, though. Haven’t been getting much sleep. I miss you too.

Jyn

On one hand, this wasn’t a surprise. He found out eventually that Jyn threw herself in her work whenever he left, signing up for back-to-back projects as lead programmer to fill in the time gaps. He was happy to see her do great things for SPAWAR’s software development division, especially as Saw’s right-hand woman, so he beamed with pride when Jyn’s email messages were short and didn’t reveal much about her day. A lack of words meant she was working hard on major projects, as even civilian contractors in the military are bound by stricter non-disclosure agreements.

About a month ago, Cassian missed her more and more, and wrote a longer email:

Jyn,

It’s been getting pretty chilly here. Reminds me of the times we’d cuddle on the couch while watching stupid shit on Amazon or Netflix. Hopefully you haven’t seen anything off our list yet! We still need to see Stranger Things. Please don’t watch it without me? I’ll know you cheated because you always make those cringey faces when you try to act like you don’t know what’s going to happen next. I don’t want a repeat of Kimmy Schmidt, haha

Cassian

Jyn’s response was short, as usual:

No guarantees, Andor. Get home sooner, or get better WiFi so we can binge-watch something again together. Otherwise you’ll have to eat my dust :P

It wasn’t as full of affection as he was hoping for, but perhaps she was busy with work again. Saw seemed like the type of person to push Jyn to her limits, and she wasn’t the type to back down from a challenge. He loved that about her.

But then came the bad news he had to convey to her just over a month ago:

Jyn,

Bad news. I don’t think I can make it in time for Christmas. I know I said this tour was supposed to take about 6 months (obviously, it’s month #7 now), but…you know how it is. They never tell us when we can come back.

I know we made plans to just veg out and maybe have a nice romantic meal together, and I’m really sorry that it’s come to this (again), but I really hope you understand. In fact, I’ll understand if you don’t answer back for a while- I’m sure you’ll need the space. I really am sorry. I don’t know what else I can do about it.

I miss you. I love you.

Cassian

She had yet to respond to that email.

The lack of a response entirely started to worry him. Surely, she would’ve found some time to talk about her free time with Leia and Shara? A complete lack of a response might be exactly as Kay described- an avoidance of him entirely. Have tensions ramped up that much between them because of his absence?

He sat up and buried his face in his hands. “I just want to go home,” he sighed.

“This is what you signed up for, Cassian,” Kay reminded him. “We all want to go home. I imagine you understood this, but surely you knew upon enlistment that you’d spend a chunk of your career being sent to different countries?”

“You know I didn’t really have a choice, Kay.”

“Indeed,” Kay answered. “When money is tight and career options in your hometown are shit, enlistment is a viable ticket out of your situation.”

Cassian’s voice lowered as he said, “The cost of that ticket is proving itself to be a lot higher than I anticipated,” more to himself than to his partner in crime.

There was a contemplative silence from Kay, then, “Your relationship seems a bit ironic though, doesn’t it?”

“I…what? What?” Cassian asked with an incredulous look.

Kay tilted his head inquisitively and said, “Your enlistment was a choice, and yet you knew that Jyn, a civilian, would have to be left behind during your inevitable deployments, even though you kept saying you wouldn’t leave her behind. Going on deployment means getting left behind a lot, no?”

The unusual heat wave today was already suffocating enough, but Kay’s inquisitiveness choked him outright.

“Are you coming home soon?” Jyn asked over the phone a few weeks ago.

“Jyn, you know I don’t know the answer to that.” He ran his palm across his buzz-cut hair as he sighed. If only he had his old hair length back before his enlistment- it was a lot easier to grab onto hair when he was feeling tense.

There was silence- a long silence, actually- made even longer by the satphone’s natural delay. Finally, before Cassian could dare to speak up and ask if she’s still there, there was a resigned sigh on Jyn’s end. “I don’t think you’ll ever be home for Christmas now that your job’s been bringing you out on tours to the Middle East as much as they are.”

“Jyn-“

“But it’s okay, really, I understand,” she said, talking over him though that damned delay. He shut his mouth to let her keep talking before anything broke her focus. “Your job comes first. It’s important to you. The guys in your unit are important to you,” Jyn tried to explain, but there was a pain and loneliness that lingered. “I couldn’t forgive you if you dropped everything like that just for me anyway.”

There was a pregnant silence, and Cassian could sense that she had more to say, but hesitation prevented her from continuing. He remained quiet, hopeful that she was still on the line and just needed time to get her point across.

“I just miss you, is all.” he finally heard her admit, more quietly than she had before, but it was a little hard to hear in the din of tank movement and machine operation happening just several yards away from him. “It’s not the same as hanging out with Leia or Shara. And even they have to be shipped off to other places.”

“People keep asking me what I want for Christmas,” she continued after another pause, “and honestly, all I want is you. I never got to have you for Christmas, or Thanksgiving, or New Year’s. We’ve gone on one Valentine’s date. We’ve only celebrated your birthday together once. And I don’t think we ever got around to doing something for mine.”

“But Jyn, you do know that this isn’t what I want out of us, right? I wish I could have every single one of those occasions with you; you know that, right?”

“I know, I know,” she responded, her voice still quiet, searching for strength, “I’m just…tired. Of a lot of this.”

The statement struck Cassian the wrong way. “What is that supposed to mean?” he asked immediately after she finished speaking in order to get an answer out of her sooner than later.

“Don’t worry about it. This is my problem, I think. This is what I signed up for when we started dating. I should know better. I’ll try harder to get over this, though, and then we can stop talking about it and move on to other things.”

“I don’t think framing it like that is healthy, Jyn.”

“What part of this whole thing is healthy right now?” she snapped, and he could hear her voice quiver at the word “healthy”.

His heart dropped. How could anyone respond to that?

There was a sounding BOOM in the distance, followed by gunfire.

“Jyn, I have to go. I’ll be home soon. I just don’t know exactly when. Hopefully I can call you again soon with better news,” Cassian said hurriedly, searching and reaching around him for his helmet and rifle. “I love you.”

“Please be sa-“

He inadvertently hung up on her as he dropped the satphone trying to grab the rest of his gear when the sounds of gunfire became more frequent. The phone lay on the ground as he ran out to join Kay and the others on the field.

“Jyn had a rough upbringing. She was orphaned, and then bounced around the system a lot. She used to say to me, ’they all leave, eventually’,” Cassian murmured, fiddling with his photo.

They sat in silence, accompanied only by the overlapping sounds of bootsteps outside their room. Kay tried to pat him on the shoulders to ease his tension a bit, but there still felt a heavy weight that Cassian was having a hard time bearing.

“I thought we could have both the job and the relationship,” Cassian said eventually, staring at the ground, his eyes glazed over. “We’re strong people; we’re supposed to be able to handle it. She’s one of the strongest people I know.”

“I believe it was Rook who once said that loneliness can weaken even the strongest of hearts.” Kay’s voice quieted as he continued, “I imagine Jyn surrounds herself with so many servicemembers in her day-to-day because of work that it gets lonely for her if everyone is gone a lot.”

Cassian lay back on his cot and groaned. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Kay fiddling with something in his hands. He tossed his photo aside and turned over in bed. There really wasn’t much he could do but try and get over his moping for a while longer before heading out for lunch.

“Cassian…?”

“What now, Kay?” he sighed.

“Since Christmas is coming up, would you like a Christmas present?”

Cassian turned his head to face Kay, who handed him an envelope.

It was unusual at best and suspicious at worst. Kay never gives Christmas presents. This has got to be a prank, Cassian thought. He propped himself back up to a sitting position and carefully opened the envelope, eyeing Kay with suspicion all the while.

A demure smile played on Kay’s lips, which concerned Cassian even further as he took the papers out. His eyes scrolled through the documents and they widened the further down his eyes scanned. He quickly snapped up to look at Kay. “Kay…” he started.

Kay’s smile morphed into a huge grin. “Merry Christmas, Cassian.”

Cassian felt Kay try to brace himself as he flung across the gap between their cots and pulled his friend into a tight embrace.

Kay merely patted him twice on Cassian’s back and rubbed his upper back briefly with the flat of his palm. It was probably the most amount of affection he could afford to give in one go, but Cassian was thankful nonetheless.

“I’ve learned over the three years of your relationship that her happiness is your happiness. I may be a pain in the ass, but I’d still hate to see my best friend unhappy.”

Cassian pulled back with a bright smile. “’Best friend’? You’re finally going to call me that?”

“Aaaaaaand, that’s enough affection for the rest of the year,” Kay declared as he brushed his shoulders off to scoot Cassian’s hands away.

Cassian was having a hard time trying to find the right words to describe his utmost gratitude towards his rather robotic friend. Instead, he responded with a simple “Thank you so much,” and decided that was more than enough for him.

Suddenly, he had a thought.

Cassian jumped up to his feet and scrambled to open up his laptop.

“Is something wrong, Cassian?” asked Kay.

“Not at all. I need to make a Skype call.”

“To Jyn?”

“No,” he responded with a wide grin. “To Leia.”

Jyn felt a blast of Christmas spirit hit her in the face as she opened the front door to Leia’s house on Christmas day. The air was thick with the smell of a holiday roast, combined with the heat from her fireplace and obnoxious vanilla and gingerbread air fresheners dotted throughout the home. Ben stood at the other side of the front door rug, staring up at Jyn. She couldn’t figure out if Ben was staring in adoration or scrutiny, but she didn’t want to stick around long enough to find out. So she dusted her boots off at the rug, shut the door, and patted Ben’s head a couple of times as she walked past him to head closer to the source of the typical Christmas music playing ahead of her.

“Jyn! Good to see you’ve rolled out of bed to join us!” Leia beamed as she saw Jyn enter the kitchen. She pulled Jyn into a tight bear hug.

“You wouldn’t stop calling me to come over,” Jyn grumbled, her arms pinned down at her sides from the aggressive embrace.

“I had to insist on it- at least come and help us eat all this food before you pass out drunk on your couch!”

“Well, I won’t say no to free food,” Jyn smirked as she handed Leia a bottle of champagne. “Can I leave your presents under the tree?”

Leia was in the middle of admiring the fact that Jyn bought her favorite brand. “Hmm? Yes, of course, thank you!”

Jyn headed over to the tree, where Ben stood yet again, eyeing her.

They engaged in a stare-down as she clutched her five presents- one for each Organa, followed by a present each for Luke and Han’s rather shaggy-haired best friend, Chuy.

“Ben,” she said in a curt greeting.

“Auntie Jyn,” Ben replied, still staring.

She slowly lowered herself to place the presents underneath the tree, not breaking eye contact with Ben. He used to be such a sweet child- the sudden animosity unnerved her.

“I’m leaving these here, but don’t touch them until your mom says you can,” she instructed.

Ben was unresponsive- instead he continued to stare at her as she slowly stood back up.

“Alright, Merry Christmas,” she said hesitantly as she backed away.

At the table, Ben’s mood seemed to have eased significantly as he sat on his dad’s lap, eating mashed potatoes.

“Shame Cassian can’t come home for Christmas,” Han said, taking a sip of his favorite whiskey on the rocks.

Jyn shrugged. “It is what it is. I’d rather not talk about it.”

Han chuckled. “Yeah, just stuff your face and drink with us at the very least- Leia outdid herself and made way too much food.”

She looked up at the spread of food across the elongated table. There was an assortment of hors d'oeuvres on one end, followed by roasted turkey, honey-baked ham, mashed potatoes, and roasted vegetables, which were then padded on the other side by an array of pies, cakes, puddings, and other desserts.

Leia had made all this?

“I mean, I know Luke brought some of the deviled eggs, and you brought the champagne, and Chuy brought the best cake in the table, but…yeah, the second Leia came back from deployment she went to town on her recipe book trying to come up with things to make for Christmas. Eventually she couldn’t narrow it down so she decided to just make ‘em all.”

She gawked. “Honestly, there’s so much food here I feel like I could get into a food coma.”

“Where do you think Luke and Chuy are right now?” Han said with a grin.

Jyn snorted into her glass as she took a sip. She started to feel like less of an intrusion at Leia’s party.

“Hey, Jyn?”

“Yeah?” she responded in between bites of turkey.

“You ever get those problems with internet connections on Skype?”

She thought back to her last Skype call with Cassian. It had been a while…about 6 months now? She felt a little guilty by that realization, but she smiled fondly at the memory. “Yeah, Cassian’s internet was so spotty for a while on-base that he nearly threw his laptop to the wall. It took him 5 tries just to say, ‘I love you’ without the call cutting off.”

Han laughed as he fed Ben a spoonful of ripped up turkey. “Yeah, once I tried to tell Leia that Ben had started to learn his ABCs for the first time, but she demanded proof on Skype, so I put him in front of the camera, but Ben refused to do it at first…When he finally got around to it, the video call kept cutting out.”

“Hah! Did she scream at her laptop?”

“Yeah! but because the video call was spotty, it turned into intermittent screeching that terrified Ben and he wouldn’t stop crying.”

Jyn had to put her fork and knife down to cover her mouth as her shoulders shook with laughter. “You should’ve just sent her a video!”

“I tried! But she demanded to see it live. Like hell that was gonna work with her internet connection.”

“Better than satphone calls, though!”

“Don’t even get me started on those. I swear those delays make up a bulk of our fights while she’s away! It’s a shocker that news anchors don’t blow up when they have a delay in talking to someone broadcasting live from ‘out on the field’.”

They kept swapping stories about the communication mishaps they experienced when their significant others were out on deployment. Jyn knew it was a deliberate attempt on Han’s part to try and cheer her up- as if to say, “you and I are on the same boat!”- and while she knew her circumstances weren’t quite the same, she appreciated the effort. So, she continued to play along with it; at least it gave her something to laugh about.

She and Han kept up their “dependent banter” for a while until Leia showed up with another casserole dish, this time with cheesy scalloped potatoes.

“Before I forget,” Leia started, placing the dish down in front of her on the table, “I do have your present, but it’s too big to fit under the tree, so I left it in my room. You can grab it when you’re done eating.”

“At the end of the hall, right?”

“Yeap! Han, Ben, Kay, and I worked really hard on it, so consider it a mega-present from the four of us.”

Jyn arched an eyebrow. “Kay is in on this present, too?”

Leia flashed a playful smile as she handed Jyn a glass of the champagne she brought.

“I’m afraid to go in your room now,” she said. “Kay doesn’t do Christmas…what the he-“ She paused to look down at Ben, his wide eyes fixated on Jyn, as if he were daring her to get the next word out.

Jyn backtracked. “Double-you-tee-eff are you guys plotting if Kay is in on this, Leia?”

“I promise it’s not a prank, just trust me on this one,” Leia said simply before setting out to hoard Luke’s deviled eggs. “Oh, but if you’re going to get your present, I’ll need to wake up Luke and Chuy- they’ll want to witness this.”

“Okay, now I’m convinced this is a prank. I’m not going to go in your room.”

“Alright,” Leia said with feigned disappointment as she slapped a scoop of the scalloped potatoes onto Jyn’s plate. “Eat that first, have a slice of cake, then go to my room and get your present. I’m not letting you leave without it.”

Jyn sighed as she took a mouthful of creamy, hot potatoes. Leia outdid herself this time, she had to admit- the food was delicious.

But soon enough, her meal was over and Jyn couldn’t eat another bite.

Leia pulled her up and pushed her in the direction of the hallway.

Jyn gulped. The master bedroom door was closed.

Whatever the present was, it was on the other side.

If a clown was somehow hiding on the other side of that door, she resolved to punch the clown, then punch Leia immediately after.

She padded towards the door with extreme caution, carefully listening to any sounds, any ruffles, any…balloon-rubbing or nose-squeaks.

No such sounds were detected when she finally got face-to-face with the door.

She gripped the doorknob gingerly, twisted it slowly, and pushed the door open before flicking on the lights.

There was someone on the other side of that door, indeed, but it was no clown.

“Hey.”

Jyn’s eyes widened.

In front of her stood Cassian, still in uniform, his luggage on the floor. His arms were loosely and playfully wrapped in wrapping paper, and a bright red bow was stuck on the top of his head.

He smiled shyly. “I’m home.”

Jyn stood frozen at the doorway.

She took a breath, then quickly stormed out of the room.

“Wait, Jyn!” Cassian yelled out, waddling at first from the limitations of the wrapping paper. Upon realizing how absurd it was to let himself be held back by the paper, he spread his arms open to free himself and ran after her.

Jyn had slid along the hardwood floor and glared at Leia, who had her phone already poised to film all this.

“WHAT THE FUCK, LEIA?!” Jyn yelled.

Han pressed his hands over Ben’s ears. “Language!”

She pointed at Han accusingly. “NO. YOU SHUT YOUR FACE. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!”

Cassian walked out of the hallway and approached Jyn cautiously. “Should I…not have come back?”

She whipped around to look at Cassian. “You said it would still be a few months. I…” her shoulders sank. “I thought I was going to have to spend another Christmas without you. I spent so much time just trying to forget you for the holidays, just to make it easier on me…”

“You did say that all you wanted for Christmas was me, no?”

He wasn’t wrong, but Jyn found herself at a loss for words. “Yeah but…but how?”

Cassian smiled. “Kay pulled some strings- got me a flight home and a week’s worth of leave.”

She turned to Leia again. “Is this what you meant when you said Kay helped out?”

Leia nodded, the phone still up. “Then Cassian Skyped me to help plan the surprise. Han picked him up from the airport and wrapped him up in paper, and Ben put on the bow.”

Jyn looked at Cassian again, the red bow still adhered to the top of his head. Her vision started to cloud- she just couldn’t believe it.

“I thought I’d never get to spend any holidays with you, ever,” she said, her voice cracking.

Cassian stepped even closer to her, his voice gentle. “I worried about that too. When Kay gave me the plane ticket, I realized I should’ve been trying harder to ease your stress while I’m gone. I don’t want you to keep thinking that I wouldn’t be around when it mattered.”

Jyn didn’t hesitate to run and jump up into his arms.

She was overwhelmed by it all. Her body trembled the more she thought about it, and she clung onto Cassian as if her life depended on it. Her face streamed with tears, and a part of her prayed that Leia wouldn’t use this moment of weakness against her in the future.

Another part of her didn’t care, however, because Cassian- her Cassian- was back home for Christmas for the first time in the three years they’d been dating.

She opened an eye and saw Leia in the corner, her phone aimed at the couple, no doubt still recording this reunion. Their eyes met and she winked.

Merry Christmas, the wink seemed to say.

Jyn nodded subtly at her. Thank you.

Cassian finally managed to pull away just enough so that they could look at each other face-to-face. “I’m sorry I kept making you feel abandoned,” he whispered. “But believe me when I say this: when it comes to deployment, yes, I have to leave…but I will always come back.”

Jyn sniffed and shook her head, “I’m sorry I kept expecting the worst out of you,” she answered back quietly, not wanting to reveal too much to the small group of people still applauding around them.

He kissed her forehead before resting his forehead on hers to nuzzle her nose. It made Jyn warm up a little more, a welcome feeling given her frustration with how cold it’s been. She let herself sink into his embrace a little bit more to bask in the warmth.

She took a deep breath to take in his scent for the first time in several months, and sighed contentedly. “Our bed was cold without you around,” she mumbled into his uniform.

He caressed her jawline and traced his fingers down to her chin to lift her head up. The look in his eyes was loving with a hint of playfulness as his other hand rested at her hips, squeezing gently with desire. Cassian then smirked and licked his lips briefly. “Let’s warm it up tonight, then.”

[thirstyfortom]

Thank you for your amazing blog. Can I make a request where they not dating, but MC needs somebody to pretend as her bf/gf for a party or a meeting and asks RFA and Saeran for help? And during that pretending they understand that they have feelings for MC.

Hahaha yes, this is the kind of request I would ask myself, I love this romantic comedy’s situations so much! So I did as mini-fics, because I obviously got carried away, I hope you all enjoy this!

RFA + Saeran pretending to date MC

Zen

“Think of it as a chance to show your impressive acting skills, Zen.” That was the winning argument to convince him to pretend to be your boyfriend during the rehearsal dinner of your brother’s wedding. As much as you love your brother, it’s extremely annoying when he and other family members start teasing you for still being single. And the comparisons about your lives are so mean. Just imagine now that he’s getting married with this almost perfect lady.

“Well, the perfect boyfriend is a role I haven’t tried yet… I’ll accept this challenge, MC, although it would be like playing myself…” you giggle. It was a weird request, but you have been so nice to everybody in RFA, how could he say “no” to a friend in need? Plus, he loves weddings!

Okay, not this one so much. Why is everybody so snob? He’s waiting for Jumin Han to show up at any moment, this event suits him really well! Now he gets why you wouldn’t want to endure this by yourself, you’re so… different from all of this. You’re bubbly and spontaneous, adorably clumsy…  he grins reminding you chugging a beer can and making a funny face because of the bitter taste a couple of days ago at his apartment.

“Brother, this is Zen, my… boyfriend.” You introduce them to each other.

“Call me Hyun, she usually does when we’re alone.” And he smiles at you, holding your hand. Okay, no need to imply sexual stuff here, but if it will convince your brother…

“You’re an actor, right? I recognize you! How much did she pay you to hire you?” you shiver, he is… almost right there… how can he be so smart? Ugh…

Zen smiles, but inside he wants to tell your brother to go to hell. Is this the kind of thing you say to your sister’s boyfriend? Well… he’s not really your boyfriend, but… that’s really mean! He’s basically implying Zen’s a gigolo, but worst of it, he’s insulting you telling you wouldn’t be able to date someone without paying for it. Zen knows you enough to tell you could captivate any person’s heart if you really wanted to! Yes, your ability to do whatever you want so freely is something he really admires about you. No, he can’t let you be treated like this.

“She pays me with her beautiful smile and the gloss in her enchanting eyes everytime she watches my performances. You would know if you paid more attention to your sister instead of trying to make her feel down. My brother wasn’t nice to me, and maybe I deserved it. But she doesn’t, so be nice to her before she decides to run away like I did… come on, MC. Let’s dance!” he tights the grip on your hand and drags you to the dance floor, you and your brother look at each other, he’s shocked and you’re like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

You two are on the dance floor, one of his hands on your back, the other one holding yours. Why did that come from? It’s been years he doesn’t think about his brother… something about seeing the sweetest person he knows doesn’t getting the treatment she deserves stirred something inside him. You’re looking at him very curious, gosh, your eyes are really glossy… it’s so hot in here… “S-Sorry if I crossed a line there. He’s your brother after all and…” he feels running out of air when you rest your head on his chest. You must look like a real couple, your brother is probably looking. Yes… that’s why you’re doing this after all, right? 

“Thank you for having my back, Hyun. You’re such a great actor.” Acting? Oh… yeah, he was acting, right? But why does he feel out of character right now?  

Yoosung

This is bad! This is really bad! What is he doing here? Why did he even agree to this? “Please, Yoosung, pleeeeease. You’re the only one I trust to do this.” Oh yeah, that’s why… you begged him over the phone, and something about trusting him to play your boyfriend made him feel so manly and confident. You could have asked Zen or Jumin, but you chose HIM! You thought he would be a good boyfriend to introduce to your friend who was in town for that night. He is such a good friend, but he’s been teasing you about your relationships since high school. According to him, every guy you date end up arrested or in rehab… This is getting old, really…

“Well… I’ll probably never end up in jail or rehab, MC… so, if you insist so much… why… why not?” you gave him such a tight hug, and he felt his whole face burning. You smelled so good that day… and you smell even greater today at this weird country bar…

“This is my boyfriend, Yoosung. He is a vet student.” You introduce him, the guy shakes his hand firmly, what’s with you and your friend to have such a tight grip? Well, at least yours was really gentle…

“College? But you look like you’re 16, dude! I was going to say MC is such a cougar!” he blushes. Oh god… this guy isn’t buying this at all! He would feel so bad for not being convincing after the way you begged him for doing this.

“Well, MC looks really young too, so I guess we look like a sweet sixteen couple.” You giggle and put your hand over his. “Hah, what did I tell you? Isn’t he adorable?” “I guess…” the guy shrugs, but he doesn’t mind, he can only focus on the warmth from your smooth hand.

You excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, and the guy sits on your chair. “Back off, dude! She’s mine!” “Wh-What?” “It is what it is, she dated all those bad guys and eventually she’ll notice I’m the only one good enough for her. Back off before you end up hurt!” Was that a threat? “MC… MC can choose whoever she wants, I won’t back off if she really likes me!” but she doesn’t, this is just play pretend… no, forget it! This dude is an asshole! You can’t be with someone like this! You deserve better! Maybe not him, but… definitely not this guy.

“Hey, gentlemen, what did I miss?” you come back, but the tension is still there… “Nothing much, your boyfriend here was telling me he wants to ride the mechanical bull over there…” “What? Really, Yoosung?” “I… I…” “What’s the problem, boy? Are you scared?” this asshole’s smirk, ugh… “I’ll show you scared!” he gets up and gives his name to the guy who controls the machine.

How did he get the guy to manipulate him like that? Ugh… both you and him are watching this, and he’s so close to you… ASSHOLE! Oh, this was such a bad idea! Such a bad ide… oh no! The bull is moving! The bull is moving!!!

3 seconds, that’s what it took for Yoosung to hit his face on the upper part of the mechanical bull and fall. You promptly run to him.

“Holy shit, Yoosung! Are you okay?” he can’t tell you how much it hurts… so he smiles, and you look shocked. “Yoosung, your… your tooth!” “Whath? Whath’s wronc wif my toof?” Oh… now he feels, actually, he doesn’t feel! Where is one of his incisors?

“I’m so sorry I dragged you to this, Yoosung. I feel so bad!” “Don’th worry, MC. Ith was my idhea anyway. I hope your frrriend isn’t madh or anyfing.” “Ugh, forget him, I couldn’t stand his hissy fit! Can you believe he wanted me to just let you here alone on the dentist and hang out with him? What an asshole!” he smiles when he hears that, but he shouldn’t be smiling, this is so embarrassing!

You go with him to the dentist’s office, and noticing he’s a little scared, hold his hand. He looks at you and you whisper. “Don’t need to be afraid, I’m here…”He isn’t afraid of the dentist (well, maybe a little…), what’s really scaring him is how much his heart is pounding due to your hand on his, but he’s the one tightening the grip.

Jaehee

“MC, I don’t know how to play mini-golf!” she told you over and over, but did you listen? “It doesn’t matter! I do! I just need someone to make me company!” well, making you company it’s totally different than pretending to be your girlfriend… “Yeah, but my friend and his boyfriend keep teasing me for being bi and just dating guys, I hate it!”

Well, that’s really douchy of them, why would you hang out with people who put your sexuality in debate like this? No, she needs to protect you and maybe teach them a thing or two! That’s the least she could do after you helping her to leave C & R and starting her own business.

“This is Jaehee, my girlfriend.” You introduce her, she shakes their hands as if they’re business partners.

“Oh, you’re so formal! I thought MC had hired an assistant.” Seriously, how douchy! Why such a sweet girl like you hang with people like this? “So ladies, shall we play?”

She is so bad at this! Why did you ask her to do this? “Here, I’ll show you!” you come behind her and put your hands on hers. What’s… what’s happening? Your hair fall on her shoulders… it smells so good… focus, Jaehee! Focus!

“Hey, you can’t help, MC!” “Oh, on which paragraph of the strict regulation of mini-golf is this written?” Jaehee chuckles. Okay, so maybe you know how to defend yourself, you and your friend probably have this kind of feisty friendship… but still, not cool of him to doubt your sexuality, she didn’t forget that!

You can easily compensate for her lack of ability, and it’s so good to watch you play. Your focused eyes, the huge smile you put on when the ball falls in the hole, and even your disappointed face for missing, it’s just… hypnotizing!“Hey, girl, focus! If you keep distracted like this, she’ll dump you for another guy!” “Fuck you!” you yell, she feels her blood boiling. What… a… douche! She’s not distracted! She got this! Bring it on!

The ball travels painfully slow, or is she seeing this on slow motion? This isn’t the decisive shot yet, but she really wants to hit it! She wants you to feel proud of her! It spins around the hole boarders, one turn… two turns… and the ball doesn’t fall in the hole. Crap!

“Ha! Good luck next time, sweety!” “Dude, you don’t need to be this douchy!” you reprehend him. “What? Did I hurt your precious girlfriend? Jesus, MC, you’ve been so sensitive today. I changed my mind, I liked you more when you dated boys.” “Good, so no reason for us to keep hanging out, then. Goodbye.” You grab her hand and walk away. Oh wow… she thought she would have to be the one to say something, but apparently, you can take care of yourself! Yes, you’re the one who taught her to don’t be around places and people who only hurt you, obviously you would know how to do this by yourself. You’re so strong!

“Do you want to keep playing without them?” she asks, she doesn’t want this, huh, date (?) to end. “Yeah, sure! I’ll show you one of my tricks, come here!”And there you are behind her again, teaching her how to swing it properly, your arms around her, your body so close. She feels bad, actually, you are showing her everything you know, but she’s not absorbing anything, she can only focus on your breathing on her back.

Jumin“Oh, come on… I bet you heard a million times how much of boyfriend material you are, Jumin.” “I… didn’t really know what this means, MC.” “It means you’re the son-in-law every mother would like her daughter to be with.” He was so reluctant about it, why would you ask him? You could have asked Zen or Seven, who like to pretend a lot.

“It’s just… my mom is… how can I say? Huh… a cat mom too?” What do you mean by “too”? Oh okay, now he gets it, Zen is allergic and can’t be around cats, and Seven is a cat abuser, none of them would cause a good impression on your mother who’s been trying to introduce you to a guy she thinks would be a good suitor for you. God, she has no chill! Doesn’t she get it you don’t want to get married now?

So he agrees, you’re such a hardworker preparing for the party and taking care of everybody in RFA, including him. You’re kinda like V, but sweeter and… funnier, and, well, your looks are better too.

“Mom, that’s Jumin Han, my boyfriend. And that princess here is Elizabeth the 3rd.” yes, you insisted on bringing Elizabeth, how could he decline when you consider even Elizabeth an RFA member?

“Hum… you seem rich. Finally you’re coming to your senses and looking for a wealth husband, huh?” that’s… rude! Not even his father, who doesn’t seem to care about these boundaries, would say something like this to him.

“With all due respect, madam, your daughter keeps telling you her lack of interest in getting married, you should start respecting her wishes. I have a deep respect for family, but I don’t think parents should force their children on something they don’t want to do just because they know the children would do it due to all the respect they have. I believe what I’m trying to say is, don’t use of misfeasance on your daughter, she’s smart and caring, and… although every man would be lucky to have her as his wife, if she doesn’t want it, her wishes should be respected.” Wow… where did all this come from? Not even he can believe his own… eloquence talking about you.

“I hope this isn’t your excuse to stall her, boy.” “My intentions with you daughter are truly serious, just know I respect her… a lot.” He knows you’re looking at him, he wouldn’t dare to look at you right know, though, your eyes are something he doesn’t know how to handle, for some reason.

“Well, your head him, ma. Come on, Jumin, let me show you the other cats.” You grab his wrist, your hand is so soft… and warm and… what’s happening? He feels his arm melting from your touch.

“Hey, thanks for having my back. I knew I asked the right person.” “Because I like cats?” “That too, but… I knew you’re reasonable enough to put some senses on my mom’s head, you said I am smart and caring, but you’re even more caring than you think, you know that?” oh… so he was always your first option on this? He feels… honored, and really comfortable about being so reliable to you. He would feel sad if you found out that it’s not that he is caring, it’s just… he really cares about you…

Saeyoung

“So, wait, let me get this straight: you want me to join you on a karaoke bar with your crazy cousin?” “Yeah, but how do you know he’s crazy?” “Hello…” “Oh yeah, background check…” “BINGO! I saw his posts on your timeline, he’s a… whack nut, huh?” “Yeah, so I thought you could really get along…” “OUCH!”

He pretended he was offended, but he was really down for this. The guy seems fun, karaokes are fun, you’re basically his favorite person in the whole world, why not? So what if he had to pretend to be your boyfriend? It wasn’t uncomfortable, actually it was… it was… the greatest mission 707 has ever been assigned! Yes, Defender of Justice will protect the most amazing lady from the handful cousin who has been in love for you since you were little kids and doesn’t get it that dating relatives is kinda weird! He won’t be the boyfriend you need, he will be the boyfriend you deserve! Or… something like this…

“This is Saeyoung, my boyfriend!” you introduce him. His hand shake is firm, too firm, actually… ouch, he’s hurting his hand!

“I see you have a thing for gingers, huh, MC?” oh yeah, he’s redhead too… sorta, his hair looks dyed.

“Well, MC is so unique and amazing, it’s kinda obvious she would fall for someone who’s among 1% of human population, you know… NATURAL gingers.” He smirks, and the guy shoots dagger with his eyes. Saeyoung puts his arm around your shoulder and kiss your head, oh, that was good… can he do this again?

“So, MC… remember the song we used to sing every family reunion? I was John Travolta, you’re Olivia Newton John, and we talked about those summer nights…” “Oh yeah, so tacky, right?” Saeyoung holds back the need to yell an “OUCH!”

“Well, I think it’s kinda romantic! Right, dude? Aren’t you romantic?” “Oh… huh, I’m more like the playful and teasing type…” Yes… if you were looking for romance, Saeyoung wouldn’t be the best suitor… did you want someone romantic? “Well, the MC I know it’s all about romance…” yeah, Saeyoung also could get that vibe from you…he know he isn’t suitable for you after all, but… why does it bother him so much?

“So… MC, do you want to sing “Summer Nights”? For old time’s sake? “A-Actually, I… I would like to sing something.” Saeyoung gets up quickly. “You do?” you ask, curiosity dancing in your eyes. “Yeah, just watch me!” he kisses your head again, why can’t he stop doing this?

“Yes, good evening, ladies and gentlemen, I dedicate this song to my adorable girlfriend. MC, this one is for you!” you were waiting for some cheesy ballad, and can’t hold your shocked face when he choose “I believe in a thing called Love” by The Darkness. He sings all the falsettos and even does some air guitar, you have no idea how to react, but… it’s impossible not to smile.Judging from your cousin’s face, he totally got the message. Although Saeyoung isn’t sure what is the message, actually. All he cares about is the hug you give him when he gets down the stage.

“Is this romantic enough for you?” “I couldn’t care less about romance, this is just my cousin blinded by love. Anyway… mission accomplished, agent 707. You should win a medal for all the services you did!”

A mission… right… this was just a mission. He always felt relieved after his missions were over, that’s the only one he doesn’t want to be dismissed.

Saeran

“Listen to me, no matter how much I beg, how much I plead, you can’t let me try any move on him, you got it?” “Yeah, yeah… I got it, you don’t need to repeat this again!” your ex-boyfriend is single again, you never forgot him, and everything started spinning when he invited you for some drinks, but… you know how much of a fuckboy he can be. You have your pride! You have your dignity! You have Saeran as your most honest friend, so you know he’s the only one capable of making you stay away from the guy. And hopefully, keeping the guy away from you by pretending to be your boyfriend.

Why would he say yes to such a lame idea? Can’t you deal with your own shit like the grown ass woman you are? Well, it’s been a while since he doesn’t leave his brother’s house, and if it is with you, he feels more comfortable. Also, your whining was annoying him. Okay, not annoying, more like… persuading him…

“Hey, this is Saeran, my boyfriend!” you’re hesitant about holding his hand. Will this be convincing if you don’t really have much of physical contact?“Nice to meet you, bro. Hey! Hold her tight, or I’ll be ready to snatch her away!” you blush… OH HELL NO! You can’t be possibly falling for this! Saeran wrap his arm around your shoulder and pull you closer, staring at the guy.

“Good luck trying.” You’re so close, why do you smell so good? Shit, did you put all this perfume for this guy? Ugh… that’s so lame!

The night goes on, he notices the subtle flirt between you two. This dude really is a fuckboy, making moves on a girl who’s already taken and… well, okay, not technically, but still… he’s a player! And you can be silly most of the times, but you’re not that dumb! Saeran knows you’re not! That brave girl who’s been helping him with therapy can’t fall for these cheap moves!

But he gotta say, you flirting is… kinda cute, the way you bounce your hair and smile playfully, yes… this isn’t for him, though. And it’s bothering him! “Hey, h-ho-honey, can I talk to you for a second? Alone!” you nod a ‘yes’ and you two get close to the door. “Let’s get out of here!”

“What? Why? No, I’m having fun!” “Exactly, and you shouldn’t have, right?” “Please, Saeran, pleeeeease, let’s stay!” “Sorry, I have direct orders to not give in to your pleading.” You get mad: “Fine! I’ll go back by myself!” you turn your back on him, only to look at you ex talking with this other girl.

Saeran’s arm is around you again, now leading you out of there. You’re not crying, thank God! But you look really hurt, and he hates that!

“Wait! Are you seriously sad over this guy who doesn’t give a shit about you? I thought you were smarter, MC.” Great, now you’re crying! Good job, Saeran!“Hey, don’t… don’t cry. I… don’t know what to tell you, but…” you hug him, your alluring perfume is all over him now. “Do you mind if we stay like this for a while? You don’t have to say anything, just… stay like this…” “Okay, I guess…”This is weird… so fucking weird! He never touched someone like this before… is he doing it right? Is it supposed to be this good?

[waypathfinder]

Crimson Lane - Chapter 26 - Pieces

Links

Tumblr Master Post

Archive of our Own

Fanfiction.net

Winter changed into spring and with it small bundles of hope that made each day pass a little easier than the last. Within a month of Ben returning to jail, the knights of Ren were rounded up, arrested and placed in a different jail across the other side of town.

And through good behaviour, Ben had finally earned the privilege of receiving phone calls from the outside world, up to three times a week for 15 minutes each.

At 3 pm, every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, Rey slipped away to the grass area in front of her apartment and paced barefoot, waiting for the call to connect.

"Hello?" Rey spoke quickly. "Yes, connect me to prisoner 5831, please. That's right, Ben Solo. It's his girlfriend. Yes—I'll hold."

She was getting used to the stern woman on the other end, having called her twice this week. She was abrupt and gave the never-ending sense that everything was far too much effort. But she'd deal with the devil himself if it meant she could talk to Ben.

It was a surprisingly humid day for Spring and with every step, Rey could feel the trickle of sweat beading down her back. She waited for him, heart pounding in her chest and the roar of waves playing in the background. She stared into the horizon where a storm was brewing, a high anvil cloud looming overhead, flashing dully above a cast-iron sea. She loved days like these, they had their own life about them.

The phone clicked, and Rey beamed at the familiar voice on the other end.

"Rey," Ben dragged out her name. "What did you do?"

She smirked. "Did something happen?"

"You know exactly what happened. Armitage Hux was dragged in here both kicking and screaming this morning."

Rey couldn't hold back her smile. "Oh, you got yourself a little friend?"

"I wouldn't go that far," he scoffed, and Rey pictured him smiling into the phone, that crooked eyetooth winking at her. "How did you guys manage to find that slippery eel anyway? The cops said it was a tip-off."

Rey sat on a faded yellow deck chair, one leg crossed over the other, the cool ocean breeze making her hair whip around her face.

"Can you believe it wasn't even me? Rose found him." Rey forced back a chuckle, thinking back to Rose's manic call. "Hux's cat went viral."

"What!?" She heard a cross between a grunt and a laugh, and her heart pulled at the sound of it.

"I'm serious. She was watching Funniest Cat Home Videos on YouTube and there was a clip of this fat ginger cat falling onto a sail shade from a third-story apartment and Armitage Hux screaming at the bottom trying to catch him."

Ben's laughter rang out like he couldn't get a breath in and Rey started giggling herself.

"Was he okay?" Ben asked.

"The cat? Yes. Armitage, not so much. The cat was so terrified he clawed his face."

"Now I know what caused the scratch marks."

"You can tell him he's famous now. Poe recognised the street from the video and from there it wasn't long before we were able to tip the cops off as to his whereabouts."

In the background, Rey heard the low growl of one of the guards, giving them a 30-second warning.

"Did you get your— " he struggled to say the word.

"I got it yesterday." Rey adjusted her underwear, the second day was always her heaviest. " I told you it would be okay."

"Thank God for that."

"I have no regrets, do you?"

He chuckled. "None at all."

In the background, the correctional officer ordered them to finish.

Ben went quiet. He always did at this point. The moment where they crashed back to reality.

"It makes my day, you know, hearing your voice," he said, words soft, almost like he was hiding them behind his hand.

"Mine too." A gust of wind rushed in from the ocean and the bi-fold doors slapped open and closed. She rushed to fasten them, aware that every second of silence was a second wasted.

"Say something."

She hesitated, searching for words. "I love you."

There was a quick exhale on the other end of the line and she hung on in silence, waiting.

And at last: "I know."

"Say it back, you dick!"

He laughed again and Rey's eyes began to pool. She wished she could see him laughing, it would never be enough just to hear it.

"Love you back, sweetheart."

Over the next three months, Rey worked diligently on the Snoke story, along with Poe and Finn. With some off-the-books help from Dom, they managed to create a pretty clear picture of Snoke's operations, including his brutal recruitment strategy, where he blackmailed his employees to stay until they were no longer needed. Before Ben, the only other Knights that left the order seem to have disappeared from existence or were forcibly removed, which also coincided with some career-destroying scandal.

In the summer, a new visitor arrived at the Island. Rey had watched the seaplane land with a few skips on the ocean before it taxied to the wharf and a tall and slender woman stepped onto the dock, dressed entirely in white, with black shoes and a large-brim black hat and glasses. She exuded class and sophistication, and Rey was fascinated by the sight of her. She approached the resort, dragging a pair of rose-gold designer suitcases and Rey balked at the colour of her hair, brilliant lavender styled in a 1920s faux bob.

"Ah, she's here!" Leia exclaimed at the breakfast table. "Amilyn, over here!"

At the sight of Leia waving, Amilyn tore her hat off and waved it back.

Rey would soon learn this powerhouse of grace, was one Amilyn Holdo, the most sought after criminal lawyer in Coruscant, and Leia's oldest friend.

"This is Ben's girlfriend, Rey," Leia said and Amilyn extended her hand.

She stared at it briefly; so this is the woman who could change their future.

Rey met her handshake enthusiastically and was surprised to find Amilyn's hold was loose and warm. It shouldn't have made her panic, but it did. Ben needed someone strong enough not to take his shit, to fight the devil and his demons for him. Would this woman be up for the challenge?

"My client speaks a lot about you," Amilyn told her with a smile that came through equally to her eyes. Rey noted the refined lilt of her accent, it sounded like she'd spent her young adult life bouncing between the world's most prestigious universities, which, she later learnt, wasn't far from the truth.

Rey blushed. She always did, when it came to Ben.

"Did Leia tell you we go to trial next month?"

"Already?" Rey's heart skipped a beat. She'd spoken to Ben every day this week and not once had he mentioned a trial date, or even that he'd gotten a lawyer.

"Yes, with the Knights of Ren arrested and the State vs the Estate of Alaistair Snoke trial, it was pushed forward. I thought he might have told you though."

"I— no, he hadn't mentioned it."

Amilyn's eyes narrowed and Rey had never felt so naked. She shrunk back in her chair, aware that the lawyer was scrutinising her every move.

"I mean, it hasn't come up yet. I'm sure he was planning on—" Amilyn quirked her head to the side, appearing keenly interested in Rey's body language.

You know, don't you? Rey thought. You know everything.

"Leia, I think it would be a good idea if Rey and I had a quick chat." Amilyn held her hand out expectantly. "Come for a walk with me?"

Rey glanced at Leia, and the older woman nodded, slowly. "We'll have lunch ready for when you get back."

"Excellent," Amalyn clapped her hands together and Rey stood to go with her

"She's very stubborn," Leia called out as they left.

The women paused, glancing at each other.

"Is she talking about me or you?" Rey asked.

"Both, I imagine."

On the beach, they kicked off their shoes and made their way to the waterfront where the sand was firmer. Amilyn hiked her dress pants above her knees and Rey tied her sheer black skirt by her thigh. The ocean was quiet today, lapping at their toes, the only noise was the swish of waves upon the sand and the blow-fly buzz of jet ski engines somewhere far in the distance.

Rey dawdled, staring at the shifting line between the water and sand, very aware that Amilyn continued to study her.

"I imagine this has been hard for you," she said at last.

"Of course." Rey shrugged her shoulders, still staring ahead. She'd never met a lawyer before, nevermind one of the country's most respected criminal lawyers. Everything she'd seen on television had made her believe they were cunning and only after the big paychecks that came with cases like this. But perhaps, being Leah's friend, this one was different.

"You miss him." Amilyn's lips pressed in a warm smile. "But I imagine that's not why it's hard."

"I'm not sure what you mean." Rey pushed down the nauseous feeling in her stomach. The one that swelled whenever she thought about the reason why Ben was in prison.

"It's not fair of Ben to expect you to wait here." Amilyn put her sunglasses on, they were purple-rimmed, just like her hair, dotted with tiny diamonds.

"I'm not planning on waiting here. When Leia and Han go to the mainland for the trial, I'll be going with them."

"He won't like it."

Rey kicked sand into an oncoming wave with a little more force than intended.

"Then he shouldn't have told the world he was Kylo Ren. Let's keep walking, shall we?"

Amilyn gave her a sly smile. "Ben's underestimated you. But that's typical for a man. They can never shake off that whole damsel in distress idea. Little do they realise, their damsel probably has her own ideas of how things are going to play out. Wouldn't you say?"

Rey stared ahead. "Is there much hope for him to get out of this?"

Amilyn's face pulled into that sympathetic expression, brows knitted together and a soft smile. "It will depend on many things. The judge, witnesses, how the Snoke case is progressing. It wasn't long ago that the bastard was winning awards for being a good citizen."

Rey mulled all of this over. They still had time. Another month and every day new information came out about Snoke and the First Order. But what if it still wasn't enough?

She hesitated. "If things go badly, I'm not going to just sit by."

"Rey," Amilyn stretched out her name, but once again there was gentleness and empathy to her voice.

"No. I won't have this on my conscience!" Rey snapped, Surprisingly, Amilyn didn't look put out at all by her outburst. If anything, she looked pleased.

"I won't do it unless I need to. I know it would destroy him after everything he's done to keep me safe but if they're going to put him away for years and years. I can't—"

"We'll avoid that if we can. Meanwhile, there is something you could do to help."

Rey paused. "Anything!"

"What do you know about Phasma Christie?"

The next month dragged. Tourist season was coming into its autumn lull and Rey was reaching the limit of digging she could do into Snoke and the First Order from Bespin. She still spoke to Ben every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, but as the trial came closer their conversations were getting difficult. Ben was quiet and moody, even snapping at her on occasion, and each time she'd bite her tongue knowing the pressure he was facing. He never once mentioned the trial, and Rey suspected that he hoped she didn't know about it. To this, she played along, knowing anything else would have stressed him out.

Two days before the trial, Lando pulled up in his luxury yacht, the Lady Luck, and they packed their bags for the mainland.

The journey was an eight-hour boat ride across choppy, pewter seas. Once they arrived, Rey stepped onto the mainland, feeling like she was still walking on waves and clinging to the railing.

"What time is it?"

"Almost twelve," Leia replied.

Three more hours until she could call him.

Leia and Han taxied to the office of the Hosnian Herald. It should have been thrilling walking through those doors and showing her press pass, but all she could think about was Ben and the trial.

Poe gave her a quick hug and told her she looked like shit before he took her on a tour of the building. Rey nodded and smiled, and said pleased to meet you on cue, but inwardly was counting everything second until she could excuse herself and call Ben.

Finally, in the middle of a tour of the graphic's department, Rey gasped when she checked her phone and Poe rolled his eyes.

"Go call him."

"Thank you!" she said, excitedly. "I won't be long."

"Use the roof. It should be quiet up there."

Rey took the old elevator to the top of the fourth floor, from there she travelled up a dimly lit staircase leading to a large fire door. She pushed it with a sharp shove. It screeched, metal against metal, putting her nerves right on edge. The exposed roof was a tired and weathered area; cigarette butts lined the floor, a couple of pot plants were parched dry — most of them doubling as an ashtray.

But it would do.

Rey looked out over the city. The Hosnian Herald building was five stories high, so while she was still dwarfed by skyscrapers, the building was elevated enough that she could still see much of the city. Down below the streets were busy, and in the distance, she recognised the roof and courtyard of the Taco Dana Restaurant.

Shit, she'd forgotten about that place. She hadn't even said goodbye to Jess or handed Kennedy a letter of resignation. Images flashed in her mind, Ben and Snoke at the table, Rey's horror at seeing them there and suggesting Ben order a crab taco. He'd given her such an irritated smile at the time. How she'd hated him so much at that moment. Looking back they seemed like two other people, strangers from a lifetime ago.

Towards the east, there was a collection of low-rise buildings and terrace houses. Mustafar. She squinted, trying to make out the brothel, but the grey rooves all blended into one from here.

That shady part of the city would always fill her with contradiction. It was like she'd walked through hell and found herself a soul mate — speaking of which, she dialled the number of the jail, waiting as the phone rang.

The receiver picked up and she immediately recognised the low no-nonsense tone of the female officer on the other end.

"This is Rey, calling for Ben Solo, 5831."

"Hold." The phone line went dead and Rey waited. This was always the moment she dreaded most; when her body began to betray her: heartbeat racing and pulse throbbing. It was taking a long time. Rey watched the seconds pass on her watch with a growing sense of unease.

She paced, running her hand along the cement barrier, avoiding pigeon poo dotted along the top. Someone had scribbled Fuck You, Capitalism! and Rey traced the letters as she waited, wishing to hell that he'd pick up already.

There was a click.

"Hello." The voice was gravelly and low.

"Ben, is that you?"

He cleared his throat. "Yeah."

In the distance, Rey spotted a grey shape swooping down from the sky, her eyes darted to it, watching the falcon circle on the hunt for a fresh kill that wouldn't even know it was coming.

"Luke said you were sick."

There was a grunt. "Yeah."

"Is that why you couldn't speak last week?"

Rey watched the bird again, swooping at something she couldn't see, waiting for Ben to answer.

"Yes."

She rubbed her elbow. "You sound … are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Liar. In the months that had passed, she'd come to find Ben's moods pretty erratic, which wasn't surprising considering. Some days he would be cold and aloof, others ecstatic and romantic and then like this, depressed and quiet.

She tried to change the subject.

"You won't guess where I am?"

"No idea." Her chest tightened. She tried to ignore it. "I'm on the roof of the Hosnian Herald! Can you believe it?"

She waited, the horn from a commuter bus bleated from below as it pulled into traffic, cutting off a number of cars. The metal of the fire door screeched against the trim again as another employee came out for a break, bundled up in a grey trench coat and lighting a cigarette. Smoke swirled around her and she wrinkled her nose, trying to move away.

He released a long, strained breath. "What are you doing there?"

Cold. How could he be so cold?

"I'm here for the trial."

"Fuck, Rey!" he spat. "I told you not to come."

Her cheeks burned and she covered her hand over her mouth to keep their conversation private. "I want to support you. We all do. Your mum and dad are here too."

"Why didn't you stay where you were?"

"I—" Tears pricked at her eyes and the cityscape blurred below. "I wanted to see you. I thought I could come for visiting hour tomorrow."

Silence.

"If you wanted me to that is."

"One minute left," the guard's voice echoed in the background.

She pushed away her growing panic. "Do you want me to come?"

"I wanted you to stay on Bespin. I didn't want to you to—fuck!" He shouted the last word, and she heard the guard growl his name in warning.

"I'm sorry," Rey murmured, blindsided by his reaction. She tried not to let out the weak little sob that was harbouring in her chest, but it came anyway.

"Are you crying?"

"No," she said, sniffing.

"Look, Rey, I don't know what you're hoping for but the trial isn't going to go well."

"How do you know—"

"And I don't want you to hear about all the shit I've done. Are you prepared for that? To hear about every bone I've broken, every person's face I've smashed? Do you want to hear in detail about how I blew Lor San Tekka's fucking brains out," he was talking quickly and quietly now. "Do you think you can really hear all that and still want to be with me?"

"Time!" the guard's voice came in the background.

"I gotta go," he said, despondent. "Amilyn didn't ask you to testify, did she?"

"No, of course not." The door slammed again and the smoker was gone, although the smoke still lingered in a hazy cloud, burning her throat.

"Good," Ben said. "And promise me you won't come."

"Time!" the guard repeated, and this time she heard the sound of something hard smacking on metal.

"Rey?"

"Time!"

"Would you just fucking wait!?" He had that tone in his voice, the one that came before everything was eclipsed by his anger. "Promise me, damn it!"

The door screeched again, this time it was Finn popping his head out to look for her.

Rey quickly wiped her eyes.

"Rey?" Ben asked, and her heart broke at the panic in his voice.

"I—" The line went dead and Rey stared at the blank phone in her hand, trembling.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded, quickly, blinking away the tears. "Is it time for our meeting?"

Finn nodded and she breathed.

Push it down, push it all away.

It was something she knew how to do: compartmentalise, conceal and continue.

"Sure you're okay, peanut?"

She turned back to Finn, eyes dry, and a smile beaming. "I'm great. Let's go."

"This case is going to go terribly unless we have someone who was there the night Snoke died." Poe raked his fingers through his thick, curly hair, twisting a cold cup of coffee in his hands.

"I was there."

"Someone other than you."

Rey sunk in her chair. Here she was at the Hosnian Herald, sitting opposite the editor chair, while dozens of reporters tapped away on their keyboards, and conducted phone interviews. It should have been the best day of her life but the pain of her interaction with Ben was still there.

The glass door to Poe's office was in constant motion as a steady stream of people bustled in and out.

"Poe, what do you think of one of these as the front-page photo?" A young photographer with bangs and a polka-dot dress leaned over his desk as she flicked through a dozen images on her camera and Poe narrowed his eyes at them all, mumbling to himself.

"Can you try and find a photo of him not looking like a dementor?"

Rey raised an eyebrow.

"Your boy's trial is big news and we're going to lead with it tomorrow."

"You can't do that!"

"I know he's your boyfriend and all, but we gotta run with it. Every other news outlet will be doing the same thing. It's fair and unbiased reporting, Rey. I shouldn't need to remind you about that."

He leant forward, glasses slipping down his nose as he flicked through his emails.

"Fair and unbiased," she scoffed. "You really think the Ilum Times is going to do that?"

"We will. And who knows, perhaps an exclusive with his girlfriend might help. You could tell them how he cries when he makes love to you—"

"Forget it!" she snapped, and Poe started laughing.

Finn bustled in then, carrying lots of folders and a laptop. As he went to sit, he took one look at Rey and dumped them on Poe's desk crossly. "You didn't."

Poe sipped his coffee with a shrug, only to realise it was stone-cold and spat it out in the trash can.

"Ex-hooker teams up with Snoke's personal hit guy and falls in love. It's gold."

"Ignore him."

"I usually do," Rey said, trying to smirk but the corners of her lips fell.

"Why am I still paying you both?"

"Because no one else can stand you?" Rey snapped back and Poe laughed.

They'd been working together for six months now, but today was the first time they'd done it in the same space. Usually, their morning meetings were held over Zoom. In those days, the witty banter and excitement of what they were trying to achieve gave Rey enough fuel to face the rest of the day alone knowing that every second of it she spent fighting for Ben.

Finn pulled his chair closer and leaned over Poe's desk, looking through the many papers he'd dumped over the top of it.

"So final tally, what do we have?" Poe asked.

"Ordering the terror bombing on Resistance HQ, blackmail and bribery, specifically related to the government security contract, attempted murder by car bombing, assault, rape, grooming minors to work with him … to be honest, we could be here all day," Finn said.

"And what do we have specifically on Ben?"

"Our biggest issue is the San Tekka murder, and Snoke, obviously."

Rey opened her mouth to speak at that one, but Poe held his finger up. "Save it."

Poe continued: "there were a few misdemeanours that were still on the USB. That's since been turned over to the police. Word from Holdo's is Enric Pryde's prosecuting."

"What does that mean?" Finn asked.

"It means we're up shit creek without a paddle. Pryde plays dirty and he hates to lose. Plus, he's an Imperial supporter. He's not about to go easy because he's Leia Organa's son."

Rey sighed. "We need something else, something that could sway all of this." Poe tapped his index finger on the table.

"You guys anything?" Finn sat with his arms folded, legs stretched out, gazing out to the left as though he was trying to catch a thought and then to Rey, who was chewing on her lip.

"Amilyn and I talked about trying to get Phasma on the stand. She saw the whole thing," Rey said.

"From past conversations, I seem to recall she was no friend of yours," Poe answered, taping his pen in frantic beats on his table.

"She isn't." Rey thought back to her interactions with the imposing woman. "But she's all we have."

"Are you okay?" Amilyn asked, clearly noticing the way Rey gripped her hands on the car seat.

Rey nodded.

"I didn't realise she lived in Mustafar."

"We're not far now. Close your eyes if it's easier."

It wasn't easier because Rey knew these streets like the back of her hand. She knew the sounds and the smells. The waft of the kebab shop, the soundtrack of sirens and horns. She would always know these streets, from their graffitied boarded up shop windows and trendy open-air cafes, to the women in platform shoes and glitter skirts strolling along the pavement with their cappuccinos and lattes.

And she would know it by the turn off to the small lane ahead on their left.

"Can we drive past? it" Rey asked.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, please. I want to see it."

Amilyn put her blinker on and they turned onto Crimson Lane. They approached the brothel, charcoal-coloured in the evening sun. The curtains were drawn, and the door was still blood red. The light was off. Closed for business. For good, she hoped.

The biggest difference was a line of tape around the perimeter, bright yellow and blue, warning people to stay away: unsafe structure.

"Someone set fire to it about a month and a half ago. It's pretty much just a shell now."

Rey nodded slowly, expecting to feel something, but it was like every emotion had drained away. Her gaze travelled to the top floor: their room.

There was evidence of the fire now, the glass smashed and frame black and broken.

She wondered how it had come to burn.

"Do they know who did it?" Amilyn shook her head. "Probably just an opportunistic arsonist."

The longer Rey stared at Number 12, the more it seemed to suck her in, like she was watching the heart of a fire, twisting and burning with red flame and ash. She couldn't look away.

"Rey—" Amilyn said from some distant part of her mind.

How could one find peace looking at the place that had infiltrated her mind at night with the most horrific nightmares, playing over and over and over again in her mind?

And yet, such beauty she had found there, healing, forgiveness.

Amilyn placed a hand on her knee and Rey turned to face her, surprised to feel her face was wet with tears.

"Are you ready to go?"

Rey sniffed and nodded. "Yes, I'm done."

They continued their drive, away from the red-light district to a narrow street dotted with parking metres and Jacaranda trees.

"So, you think she lives there?" Amilyn asked, peering out at the two-story terrace house.

"I hope so."

It was nothing special, rusty-coloured bricks and terracotta tiles. It was a modern re-creation of the original terrace designs, with their ornate ironwork and cement walls. Along the street, there were bars on the windows of the lower floors, and some on the doors. But Phasma had none of those, as if to say to the world she could take on anyone.

They waited. The street was quiet, apart from the gentle twit of swallows flitting in and out of the eaves.

Rey tapped her fingers on the window frame nervously. "I spoke to Ben today."

Amilyn sipped her coffee, leaving a line of bright red lipstick on the rim of the paper cup. "I imagine that was pleasant."

Rey turned in time to catch Amilyn's smirk, disappearing as she sipped her drink. "He's been a snarky prat for the past month. Trust me, when I say you get him on his best behaviour."

Rey thought back to the conversation, to the tone of his voice: distant, defensive … caged.

"He's scared." She picked some twigs and grime out of the window slit. "I don't—"

The door of the townhouse opened and they froze as a tall, slender woman with short blonde hair and a silver, velvetine tracksuit came out the door and over to the mailbox.

"Go, go, go!" Amilyn hissed.

Rey jumped out of the car and made a beeline to meet her.

"Phasma!" The woman stopped, blinking once, twice, before turning on her heels to go back to the house.

Rey darted behind her, shadowing her so when they got to the front door, Rey slipped in too.

Phasma didn't pay her any attention, busying herself around the interior: boiling the chrome silver kettle, unpacking a half-empty dishwasher and opening the blinds, as a ginger-coloured cat rubbed up against her calf.

Hux's celebrity cat, Rey thought with a smile.

The terrace house was surprisingly domestic, there were placemats on the table, and a collection of abstract art in deep purple and orange dotted around the room. As she entered the kitchen, she smelt an audacious eau de toilette mixed with the subtle hint of marijuana.

Rey waited, backed up against the wall as the kettle boiled as Phasma poured the hot water into a rose-coloured glass teacup, sitting at the table and watching Rey with oculus sky-blue eyes.

Even now, in this small kitchen, the woman ruled her space like a goddess. Rey was determined not to let this game of silence intimidate her and with a shrug of her shoulders, she sat down and waited.

Phasma sipped the tea, gaze fixed out the window. Rey watched her unblinking, her fingers twitching to move, to play with the strip of fabric of her shirt, to pick at her nails or tap on the table.

But no, she kept them folded, legs crossed, shoulders straight. She would not be intimidated, not anymore.

Phasma placed the teacup on the table, dabbing at her lipstick with a small tissue she had stowed away in her pocket, and when she glimpsed at Rey again it was with an exasperated sigh.

"Fine. I'll bite. How's Kylo?"

Rey stiffened, she'd almost forgotten that name and everything it represented.

"Oh, like that, is it?" Phasma chuckled, taking another sip. "You don't need to tell me, I saw him last week. He looked like shit, but then you would know."

Rey looked down into her lap. "I haven't seen him."

Phasma smirked. "Hmm. Well, that's interesting."

"The reason I haven't seen him—" Rey snapped back, her voice a little too high and peevish— "is because I came to see you instead."

"How sweet!"

Phasma flashed her a quick smile, fixing those cold blue eyes on her once more, like a predator waiting to strike.

"You know, I slept with him once."

Rey blinked. Trying not to move, or breathe, or do anything that would show weakness. But Phasma seemed to find something, because she smiled contentedly, her long ring-clad fingers caressing the skin behind her neck.

"He's a brutal lover, like an animal."

Rey's jaw clamped shut, every breath she took whistled through her nose. Is that why Phasma saw him last week, why she warned him to stay away from the brothel, why she'd always seemed to hate Rey and lastly, why she'd let Rey go — to save him?

"You—" Rey reconsidered her words, she needed to be careful. All this time, when Phasma was playing Snoke's pet, had she really just wanted Ben to save her?

Phasma smirked again. "Actually, I don't think I've ever been fucked so hard."

"He's always gentle with me." She met her gaze. It wasn't entirely true, she'd seen that side of Ben too, the part of him that brimmed with fire and passion, an unquenchable urge to hold on, but fuck that there was no way she would share that.

"That's funny. Some nights, I could have sworn he wasn't gentle at all. But you still seemed to like it. I mean, the night he trashed the room—"

The air was growing warm or at least it seemed to, heat licked at Rey's neck and she felt her chest getting blotchy as her temper boiled over.

"Yes, he fucks me hard and I like it. And, other times he's gentle, and I like that too. And every time we talk he tells me how much he loves me, and I tell him the same."

Phasma smiled again, but this time it was tighter, smaller.

"I am sorry for whatever horrible things Snoke did to you, but from what I can see you got your revenge for both of us — 37 times."

Phasma stiffened.

"So, did Hux help you kill him in the end?"

She froze; teacup in hand, the rippling surface the only thing giving away how much she was trembling.

"You have no proof."

"I'm not looking for proof."

Phasma's body relaxed. "Well, there wasn't much to do after you finished with him — before you let Kylo take the fall for you that is."

"We can throw barbs at each other all day. But the fact is you were the only one there that night who can prove this was self-defence."

"And what about you?" Rey looked down at her hands, scratching at each other like something was clawing under her skin.

"He—" Rey blinked quickly. "He doesn't want me at the trial."

Phasma laughed, shrill like a banshee, it made Rey's skin crawl.

"You want me to lie on the stand? To say that Kylo knifed Snoke in the neck when you're just letting him take the fall for something you did. I'm not protecting you."

"I'm not asking you to, I'm asking you to help him," Rey shouted back. "And I'm sure in your whole fucked up existence working with Snoke he has helped you."

Phasma stared at her, face unreadable.

"Please, Phasma. He needs your help. You know what kind of charges he's up against … along with everything else."

Time slowed as Rey waited for an answer, outside she could make out Amilyn's mauve hair in the car, she must have been listening to music as her head bobbed side to side in time with the tap of her fingers.

"Is that his lawyer?" Rey jumped, she hadn't realised Phasma had been watching her also.

"Amilyn Holdo. She's supposed to be very good."

Phasma stared at the woman with a blank expression.

"According to her, we should have a good case for justified homicide, in both cases, considering all the evidence against Snoke and what he has done to Ben-I mean, Kylo, considering Snoke blackmailed him as a minor and what he did to him after he tried to leave the First Order."

Phasma tucked a curl behind her ear, eyes closing.

"I remember that night. Snoke was barbaric. Kylo's lucky he got away with just the scars that he did. Others have suffered much more for much less."

Rey nodded. "Funny; that was another time he suffered for you. He never would have asked to leave Snoke had he not met you."

"I—" Rey's face turned a deep shade of beetroot, the sting of Phasma's words striking her just where she meant them, in the heart, filling her with guilt and shame.

"He was so fucking shaken up by the pathetic girl who slept on a dog bed. The thought of you being forced into sex work ..." Phasma rolled her eyes. "And here you are." She gestured to Rey in a grand motion. "Kylo's little whore, getting away with murder."

Rey stiffened, her jaw locked so tight she felt like she'd crack her teeth. "You might want to reconsider that statement."

They glared at each other. In the distance, the bell of an ice cream truck rang out along with the tinny chimes of Greensleeves. Children would be rushing out to buy soft-serve cones. It was such a contrast to the cold standoff taking place in this dimly-lit kitchen.

Rey had hoped not to find an enemy here. In some warped, idealistic way, she might have found an ally, someone who understood the pain of being held captive within Snoke's cruel grip, to have been enslaved in the most undignified way.

She had not expected to find a jealous lover, rotting in her own bitterness.

Rey stood, scraping her chair along the kitchen tiles. "This is useless."

Phasma was on her feet almost instantly, but Rey didn't wait. Storming to the front door, she'd just opened it when Phasma called out to her.

"I'll do it. Not for you, but for him."

Rey didn't look back.

"Tell your lawyer, I'll play her game, but if Kylo goes down for this—"

"He won't."

"But if he does," Phasma gave her something between a smile and a sneer. "I'm throwing you under the bus, Desert Flower."

Rey gave her a lopsided smirk. "I'll see you in court, madam."