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sneez · 8 months

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fairfax is 412 today! :D like to wish him a HAPPY BIRTHDAY reblog to wish him a HAPPY BIRTHDAY

[id: a digital portrait in a painterly style of a man with long dark hair, a moustache, and a small beard. he is wearing a black doublet and a white falling band, and has a scar across one side of his face. end id.]

bonus:

[id: a very simple digital drawing of the same man wearing a party hat and a badge which reads '412 today'. end id.]

#thomas fairfax #artwork #BIRTHDAY BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D #i did many celebratory things today. i hope he had a nice day too #sorry i havent been around much once again my friends term has started again and i am very busy #i hope you are all well though :-) and a happy new year! since i dont think i ever said it at the time #kiss you all on head. look at thomas #fairfax

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safety-pin-punk · 2 months

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yall Im so fucking tired. This month has been exhausting. I promise Im alive, just barely functional atm.

#personal #rant below #begining of the month docs said dad had less than a month. Hes still around but declining #been taking care of him and my mom #along with working full time #and my boyfriend doing his damndest to keep me busy when Im not helping with dad #which is great except Im so tired #but also I havent been able to sleep much #and I've lost my appetite which apparently is a grief thing I didn't know about #So I've managed to get all the physical grief symptoms and it is taking a fucking toll #so your girl is sleeping in tomorrow and spending the day doing my own little crafts and avoiding people as much as I can #a girl just wants some sleep and a fulfilling snack but all she is being given are slight naps and unappealing food. send help.#anyways after this experience Ive decided that I no longer give any fucks because you only live once so Im just gonna do what I want foreve #and actually live life instead of being constrained by societal standards #after all this is over of course. gotta take care of dad first #also I got to paint the door because he was sick of staring at the porch. so its a lake view now #woooo #yeah so thats my life update for you all #also I saw a girl for the first time in 9 years today who completely changed the tradgetory of my life and didn't know it. so that was fun.#exhausing but fun #also idgaf about spelling right now I am running on caffeine and pure will power atm

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daydadahlias · 1 year

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For Ransom

lol i like writing crack fics about bondage <3

Summary: Kidnapping Ashton Irwin is not nearly as hard as Calum thought it would be.

Word Count: 8,903

Pairing: Calum Hood/Ashton Irwin

Rating: M

READ ON AO3

#lapis #LMFAO #but imagine how hard i was laughing while writing this #brought to u by that one video of ashton from last year where he looked like a hostage #that i havent stopped thinking about literally since then #so now i finally manned up and wrote a kidnapping fic #i had the idea for this last night w/ ashley #and... literally just wrote the entire thing today #my fic turn around - as emma said to me- is fast #uh pls enjoy or dont!#i think this fic is really funny <3 #and off to bed with me lol <3

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bangcakes · 5 months

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.

#whats so disturbing. mostly bc i used to be so content being independent #is that whenever im somewhere. be it alone. or with other ppl. i always wish he was with me NXJZJZJZMMZMZMZZMMZ #LIKE THAT IS SO........... XJJZJKZKZKZK GOD #i went to like. a market today n the whole time i was like... man itd have been so fun if he was here ..... JDJSJZJZM GOD #i have it so bad #but i was always like. if i find someone i like hangjng out with more than i like being by myself... obvi thats the person for me #but when i said that. i kind of assumed that was an Impossibility but oh the turn tables JJXJXJXMXJZJZM #n e way. its just me writing another lovesick post JDJDMJDJDJDJS #personal #im getting close to making a move i think. but kind of want to settle in my job first. and like jddjddjjkdk he Knows i just got one after #looking for a long time so i think hes like. understanding that we havent seen each other Njdjdjz LOL IDK. im just assuming #we have talked consistently every week tho since i last saw him. which is pretty good for us tbh #idk i like that we dont have to talk all the time. i always hated when guys message constantly JDNDJDNZNDN like leave me alone i have a life #JDJDJDJSJZMZ #but yeah... im not worried anymore nor do i feel the need to constantly validate whether he likes me or not. i think at this point its...#clear JDJDJDJJDKXKXJX #WATCH ME BE WRONG LMAO GOD.#ah well... things will turn out how they turn out

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paul-simon-juggling · 1 year

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HAPPY SEVEN PSALMS DAY!!!

Here are some entirely unrelated photos of Paul (and bonus Eddie Simon because we love him dearly) in Tokyo, Japan, on April 1st, 1974.

#he looks very pretty in these photos and his facial expressions are very relatable #they said We are going to hold a press conference with The Most Angelic Lighting #Eddie looks how I feel #I havent listened to the album yet I'm waiting to set the mood #im going to take an edible and have a bath in the pitch darkness and listen to the whole thing and it's going to be a spiritual experience #it's what paul simon would want :')#proud of him #he has given us so much #again unrelated but does anyone know what Eddie's up to these days?#love that funky lil guy #Paul Simon #Seven Psalms #not at all but TODAY'S THE DAY #Eddie Simon #simon and garfunkel #its the law 'round these parts atp #simon & garfunkel #s&g

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hella1975 · 1 year

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bagged a trial shift at a new pub just for my manager to immediately put on facebook if anyone wants an extra shift on wednesday. he knows what im doing

#he said GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE RN #lmfaoooo the notif came through literally as i put the phone down i was like 😳😳😳#like that 'CONNOR' tiktok audio like no king im not doing anythinggg haha wdym #anyway im a bit annoyed that the first place to get back to me from my applications was this one #bc im pretty sure their pay is still minimum wage and also my cousin worked a trial shift there once #and not only did they not pay him but they also never called him back or even emailed to politely turn him down #literally just used him for free labour and that was that #word of warning from a very tired waitress if ur thinking about starting: always take trial shifts with a pinch of salt #if the trial shift is longer than 2 hours they really really should be paying you and if they dont the odds are you got mugged off #also the woman on the phone after i said i worked at the place i currently work at was like 'and do you still work there?' SHE KNOWS #and when i said yes she was like 'would you be willing to leave?' HOW CAN I BE TWO-TIMING BOTH OF YOU RN #LYING TO ONE JOB ABOUT SEEKING ANOTHER JOB LYING TO THE NEW JOB ABOUT LEAVING THE OLD ONE COME ON NOW #IM NOT BUILT FOR THESE LAYERS #but yeah summary here is i have a shift at my actual place on wednesday (thank god i havent had work in over a fucking WEEK)#and i have a trial shift at a new place where i'll most likely be offered a job. life is picking up #ALSO i have enough money to change my america flights bc basically something came up with that and i need to change my return flight #and i was originally rlly worried bc the change cost was £161 and that piled onto my current no-shifts stress was Not Fun #but ive been working a lot for my mum and i got paid for the shifts i HAVE done and it all kinda fell together anyway #the way everything is sorting itself today within the same HOUR yet ive been stressing about these things for days now #hella goes home #hella slaves to capitalism

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ilonacho · 2 years

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the fucking audacity of watching the pixar short film “going home” while i’m home for my grandma’s funeral.

#like….. yeah #2 weeks ago i did not know id be here rn #i did not know she would take a turn for the worse this fast #im very thankful things worked out to where i could be here #for my wife and her support and i guess my boss and coworkers for their understanding #i have been lucky to not have been here for the very tough times #im thankful to be here with my family now #theyre doing a lot of new housing in my town now #many buildings i walked by as a kid have been demolished and are being rebuilt #we emptied my grandmas room today. she had only lived there for about 3 weeks before passing #we drive by my mom olds house. the house i grew up in. the new owner still hasnt torn down my old curtains in my old room #the old curtains my grandma had sewn for me when i was a baby #my dad is thinking about moving too. too many new buildings too many new people too much noise #two of my cousins have kids now! and the third one is getting married soonish? her fiance seems nice. he seems like he cares about her #my nephew and niece are so big now. i still havent met my other niece #i wonder if any of my old classmates have had kids? if they moved too?#ill be leaving again on tuesday. itll be a looong day #my parents have more and more grey hairs every time i see them #i dont see my brother as much as id like. hes following his dreams and im proud of him. hes a good kid #anyway the guy who made said short film is literally just like me fr #from germany and had been in the us 5 years (at the time) and making this short film?#just like me fr #anyway. this became one of those diaries for me posts haha #it just really captured how it is really well

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roaringheat · 1 year

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I was born without a sense of smell and I keep making and eating bad food when one of my roommates isn't around to check it for me im singlehandedly reducing my lifespan

#vark posts #like FUCK #the other day i said fuck it and put milk in my coffee and drank like half of it before my roommate was finally able to check it #today i made these like pre made cheese ravioli for my roommate and i and he had 2 and it made him sick as shit #LIKE I ATE THE ENTIRE THING WDYM ITS BAD #its a miracle i havent gotten food poisoning or some shit with how often this happens #im never making anything ever again without a bitch that can smell on the premises

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munamania · 2 years

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i. HATE!!!!!!!! that i feel like i can’t have boundaries with this lady without reinforcing the belief that i’m not good enough to be working on this. as if she’s not the one being rude and pushy and intrusive. i don’t think she has much sway or that it will affect me much in the future but it sucks anyway

#i feel like i can't fully exhale. like.#it'll be so much easier when it's over but things are just not good today!!!!#i had this shitty ass dream about film girl and one of her best friends and confronting her and it made me feel like i was in like #high school again being pathetic with my ex and like EYE was the one completely in the wrong. then my sister told me she was conservative #in the dream and was litchrally talking like my dad. then i wake up so tired and already have an email from that lady #im stressed as hell feel like i can't even move or function trying to get something to her #get shit feedback on another project that it wasnt even my fault flopped. i pitched the idea i did what i could to fix this dude's #terrible camera settings i tried to fucking direct it and it just wasnt working. and that kid ugh he's fine outside of this context #but he pisses me off being a stem kid like oh well this class is like fun for me lol idek why you're so stressed. not that he said that #but just u know that film shit isn't as serious and there's not way we could get as overworked as the stem kids. annoying!#and again this video is making me want to die i haven't heard back on something im producing for and if it'll work #im nearly a week late submitting a paper i never started i havent gone to my morning lecturei n over a week and dk if my grade #will recover with all my absences. and if it's even worth trying to salvage. my roommates are making me homicidal and #i just need someone to hold me i think and let me like nap on them. lol. but instead i will be at work under these awful flourescents #barely able to work on the video since we're not technically allowed to use headphones. and not wanting to do anything else...#abby talks

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gardenerofstars · 1 year

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literally why does leaving people that cause you literally so much harm hurt so much

#finally wrote back to [redacted] after a full month after he reached out and asked to reconnect and catch up #we havent talked in years #he says he is 52 months sober now #which is. impressive #thats like #over 4 years #but still like. aah #listening to his playlist on spotify rn #i said i wanted to reconnect but i literally shouldnt #he knows where i go to college and im scared he might come find me next year if we talk too much #he was always there for me. even if he wasnt ever what i needed or deserved to have to put up with #im so ashamed of him and the situation that i cant even talk about in therapy i dont know why im tyoing all of this in a tumblr post that m #friends can see #sometimes u gotta #idk let these things out. i guess #remember to delete this later #we talked a little bit today. he said hes impressed with me that i made it to college #he said hes proud of me #no one says they are proud of me #he sent me a picture of him before and after gettign sober. he looks like ten years younger #its kind of insane #he said hes studying the bible now. what the fuck #“Remember me when you're big n famous. Well. Remember the good parts of me”#<- actual quote from him #fuck this fuck this fuck this fuck this #i dont even know if there are any good parts #man who i love so much and who was the only one there for me but who i am so scared of #actually looking back at messages we have talked a little bit in the last few years i have just blocked it out or something #last time i got a message from him that i remember i started shaking in the dining hall and had to make a friend come get me #🦷

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mrfoox · 2 years

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Me writing a ton of sappy shit: this is true and genuine and easy

Me, trying to say it: um -blushing-I... I think you're... Haha... You're great

#miranda talking shit #I wrote and heartfelt message to roo bc i havent talked with him in ages and i know hes busy #Amd working hard so wanted to express that i am cheering for him and love him #But then he basically said thank you about the message when we talked today and i just got so embarrassed kajfkdksksk #'yeah... Y-you know. I'm just. Keeping it real!' i wish i was able to say all things i feel #But i get so embarrassed about it. Its easier to write what i feel down bc then i dont... Think about what im saying? I just let it come #Naturally. Also i cant hear or see anyone's reaction and they cant see mine so i wont be an idiot #People saying thank you to me... In that genuine tone.... I cant take it and my brain go mushy and its like yes #Roo #The boys

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haechanhour · 1 year

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i just saw haechan today 💌

#i know that im barely here anymore #actually im not here anymore #its been hard to keep putting out gifsets and live the live i am barely living #but today i saw haechan for the second time within 12 months #and when i say he is one of the very few things that's keeping me tethered to the earth i mean it #at some points i just . stared and watched him i couldnt even cheer for most of it #its like i was in a trance #i just love him so much it hurts #it hurts because it pains me to see him work so hard because i work so hard and he hasnt had a break since 2016 #and i havent had a break in 2016 #and ive said this many many posts ago in an ask where someone asked me why i love him #and i said its because i see myself him #he's living the life i wanted to live at some point #the stage the applause the glory to be able to sing and have people love you #and i'm living the life he wants when he's empty after performing for years and years and years where i went to school went to university #had relationships had experiences that normal people go through #but he's him and i'm me and he's on that stage and i've graduated university #what was my point even #that i love him i truly do #aside from the projection i just think #i think that he's such a performer. a perfect performer a stage genius a magnificent artist #the way he sings fills the entire space #the way he dances makes it look like the spotlight is just on him #he's so insane #anyway that's it for the word vomit lol #i hope you are all living good healthy lives where you get to do things you like to do and are paid a good amount of money

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readymades2002 · 1 year

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something about like. interacting with people and having these little moments of genuine hope and joy is besides making everything else feel worse it just makes me so so so angry about how much time i’ve spent not being a person among people and how hard it is to fight that inertia and how many obstacles are still in the way externally to become a person among people. but when i reply to people on here or text people or learn about my coworkers or manage to talk to someone without waiting for them to say something first it makes the world feel like its still within my reach. or something

#its so hard though.#i dont know i havent had friends irl this regularly in a decade i never learned the skills to maintain friendships #so that considered i think its going okay.#i managed to text a guy to ask if he wanted to hang out before work today and in fairness he is busy today and said no #but that no did not break my spirits and he said we should try to meet up sometime and also i made the effort knowing i might get a no #i know this is eyerolly sorry i just have to inventory these things sometimes for my own sake so i can look and go #im trying im trying im trying and its not all failures im TRYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i am not easy to talk to and i fuck up a lot and im still a different species than the people i talk to but i am talking to them regardless #the next step is. make more friends. and also maybe ask if anyone wants to exchange phone numbers or discords #so i can talk to people even if i am not on tumblr. but i am still working up to that i think<3 #anyway i have to get ready for work now and it is despite everything a beautiful day today and i am going to make what i can of it

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immamapletreekid · 2 years

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when u finish a calculus quiz and all the smart people have different answers :)