#and then i got my 1 hr of sleep hhhhhh

[linharrdt]

Ive only slept 1hr so far but at least my sister has been able to finally get to sleep 😞

[yutadori]

oh i am so sleepy,,,,

[kiyan200]

Hhhhhh i got tagged by @madi-artist

1. Nickname/s: Kiyan

2. Zodiac sign: Sagittarius

3. Height: 4'10 / 121 cm

4. Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff

5. The last thing you googled: Feet to Centimeters lol

6. Favorite musician/s: Uhhhh Daft Punk, Panic at the Disco!, Zedd, Bastille, Metric, TWRP

7. Song Stuck in my head: Pompeii - Bastille

8. Following Now: 958 lmao

9. Followers: 1072, w-why??

10. Do I get asks: Hardly lol

11. Amount of sleep: 12+ hrs or only 4 hrs

12. Lucky number: 200

13. What I’m wearing: A bathrobe

14. Dream job: IDC anymore. Anything with stable income and benefits so I can not die.

15. Dream trip: Idk, have no desire to rlly go anywhere specific, prob just someplace quiet.

16. Favorite food: Salmon

17. Instruments: I have no music skills

18. Language(s): English and baby Spanish

19. Favorite song/s: Aaaaaa fuk theres a lot but prob recently the Sunflower song from Spiderverse??

20. Random fact: I care more about others than myself and I'm ready to die for ur happiness

21. Aesthetic: Space, Pastels, Plants

Uhhh heres some ppl ill tag,,,@karmabeetle @saltedbutters @thedoodlelion

[okradreamworl]

[um... sad post about how i been doing in this worldwide world, staying healthy.. dont read if ur not sad or if you dont like hearing words like “out of my mouth” or “acid reflux”... feel free to read it in sans or alphys, human or monster. kris and chara works too]

ughhfhhf i been so anxious and so tired

this is what survival feels like,,

i dont like it , i end up on the verge of tears then i dont cry then the next minute the buildup gets worse then it stops, the cycle continues until i relieve my stress

since the outbreak i been having an anger with virus and bat puns, i snap at others to quit joking around cause its a REAL WORLD thing happening. i hate it. its crawling throughout the GLOBE. i‘m becoming more health-conscious cause last saturday i sat on a cursed chair knowing someone with a mask sat on it for a minute or two then left. i did it while unaware until i felt my immune system going active by the time we got to the car. when we got home i felt my throat uncomfortable. i only did ONE. ONE WHOOPED ASS HARD COUGH MY THROAT VIBRATED. i got so scared cause that’s one of them. after that, i did some research. of course that does scare more. during the overnight, i had a gross 3 hr insomnia, slept on and off. i didnt get to real sleep until 1 hr later. moreover, every hour i wake up, tested to see if i was okay, slowly stretch my arms and legs. some had little hand chills, my right wrist in pain... it was so scary. so i only had real sleep for 5 hours.

sunday, i woke up. decided to mouthwash in case i start to give contagious stuff. did some contact with family members and nothing happened. i only did that concerning ONE TIME WHOOPED HARD ASS COUGH again and choked once in the morning just to get stuff out but that was it. its all just acid reflux the rest of the day but i had that a month ago so its already familiar how to get rid of it. went to a restaurant and had a slush while feeling so sad and anxious. because so many thoughts kept panicking for what is happening today, i took a nap to shut them up. lasted 2 hrs, felt better and more relaxed, then at night the dreaded feeling came up again.

today i just felt like crying, not wanting to do work, worry, relieve them, feel like crying again, relieve it again... until i actually do work. took me until noon to get back. what worked for me, i listened to But The Earth Refused To Die + Battle Against a True Hero extended, which is a undertale song I BARELY play. but, because of what lives have to handle today, it was time. It gave me a sense of hope I CAN survive this.

i had a great dinner, but going back while the sky dims... i just loop sans, alphys, undyne themed songs: It’s Raining Somewhere Else when i felt a short depress attack and wanting to cry, Here We Are for knowing the real world events happening, and Alphys is a positive one if ever i want to strike up a conversation. sans. if i want to relax and know everything is going to be OK. Once the two start crying and feeling tired again, Undyne steps in and puts on “Waterfall” and “Quiet Water” while they hold on to their stress relievers. my SAD still lingers cause its still snow season. at march when it hits spring and end of daylight savings i wont be complaining about the sky much then

so for tonight, i hug an imaginary undyne plush with a hard grip...

i put on my airpods near to my soul...

listen to music...

squeeze my stress ball...

verbal noises...

let out my tears...

hhhhhh...

its common to say how i just want it to all end, but i know ill have to be patient.

stay safe. wash hands. maintain your health.