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jakesimfromstatefarm · 4 years

Text

not jealous | jake sim

summary: jake sim is not a jealous person. at least that's what he tells himself. so why does he find himself going through your phone when a certain "bluejay park" decides to text you?

pairing: jake sim x y/n [ft. mentions of jay park]

genre: angst, fluff

warnings: angst, cursing (very minimal), one slightly suggestive sentence, jake being cute, some more angst lol, slightly cheesy bc jake’s just too cute ugh

wc: 3.8k

a/n: ok i loved writing this, which is why i went on to almost 4k words LOL oops. but anyways, i love jake a little too much and this type of scenario has been running around in my head for a while now so i decided to put it into words. also i may have created this blog just so i could post this somewhere LMAO anyways yeah this was my first fic so hope you guys enjoyyyy <3

Jake Sim is not a jealous person.

At least that's what he tells himself. To be fair, in his past relationships, he never showed any jealously. Then again, he doesn't know if he can call those relationships, "relationships". Does a fifth grade relationship with a girl who he was once dared to kiss during a game of Truth or Dare in the basement of a classmate's house during their 11th birthday party count? He doesn't remember being jealous when the same girl was later dared to kiss his classmate, Sunghoon. (Funny enough, that's how the two boys came to be best friends 'til this day, but that's a story for another time.)

But really, Jake doesn't think jealously is one of his traits, even if he's now almost 20 years old without any experience with love other than his current relationship with you and that short-lived romance in the fifth grade. (What was her name again? Jake would have to ask Sunghoon later.)

So he doesn't know what clicked in that brain of his that lead him to this current situation he was in. He doesn't know why he felt a little spark of anger in him when your phone, which you left right next to him on the couch while you went to take a shower, kept buzzing with texts from "bluejay park". He doesn't know why he couldn't kept his eyes distracted from the messages, although your phone was constantly lighting up because whatever it was Jay had to say to you, he would not shut up about it. He doesn't know why he questioned what your relationship with Jay was for a split second.

In fact, you're close with all of Jake's friends. That's one of his favorite things about you, you get along so well with all his friends you might as well replace Jake himself in the friend group. So he doesn't know what tells him to take a little glance at your phone—at the messages.

But he finds himself doing it anyways.

Hearing that the water in the shower was still running (you were always the type to take long showers), he quickly grabs your phone and scrolls through the lock screen just to find that he couldn't even read the messages since you had your notifications set so no one could read them unless the phone was unlocked (darn you and your settings!) Thankfully, Jake knew your passcode––and you knew his too––or he thought he did. Until the iPhone vibrated, telling him the passcode was wrong.

He must've entered it too fast or something. So he tries again.

And again.

Until the iPhone switches its screen to say: "iPhone is disabled. Try again in 5 minutes."

There's no way. You never change your password. And even if you did, you would tell him—you two even had each other's fingerprints saved into each other's phones in the past (you know, before the world decided that Apple's home button was too lame and decided to just completely get rid of it). If there was an option to save multiple faces for Face ID, you two would be that couple that saved each others faces in your own phones.

That being said, Jake sat there, your phone in hand, frozen. Why was your phone locked? Why was Jay texting you 10 texts per second? Why did he feel guilty about this entire situation?

He hears the shower switch off and in that moment, he swears he feels his heart beat just a little faster. He tells himself there's no way you'll be out before the 5 minutes are up. You followed a really meticulous skincare routine (one that Jake memorized by now) that took an extra 15 minutes of your time after each shower.

"Hey Jake?" Your voice calls out from the tiny bathroom door crack that you left open before you hopped in the shower, "Is my phone out there? Do you mind bringing it to me?"

Fuck.

Jake shifts on the couch. Taps his foot on the ground. Returns your phone to its original spot. Clears his throat.

"Don't you want to get dressed first?" he calls back, quite timidly.

He can hear you stop moving around in the bathroom. Probably telling yourself what an odd response that was. To be fair, it was an odd question, considering the fact that you two have been together for so long, it’s not like he hasn’t seen you undressed before...intentionally or not.

Next thing he knows, the steam is rolling out of the bathroom door and you're stepping out in your towel, eyebrows raised.

"If you didn't want to get up from the couch, you could've just said so, you lazy butt," you smirk at him as you walk towards him and the couch, leaving a faint trail of water drops behind you. Jake's eyes follow your figure as you go to grab your phone and lift the screen towards yourself.

That's when he freezes. You do too.

You cock your head, as if asking yourself why it was disabled. He can hear the gears in your head turning.

"Jake, did you try to unlock my phone?"

He runs through all the possible excuses he could blurt out. Come on Jake, think of something! But he knows he can't lie to you.

Too many beats of silence pass by.

"Maybe," he finally says—or more like murmurs. He looks up to you like a child looking up at their mom, who just them caught stealing a cookie from the cookie jar. To his surprise, you don't show any hint of anger. A flash of confusion—and is that worry he sees?—crosses your face for a split second before you shrug and turn towards your room to change, dropping the subject. It was natural for you two to use each other's phones anyways. So then why did you have that look of worry?

Jake knows you well, a little too well. But that's what you love about him. He can easily read all your emotions. One of the many things he picked up from dating you for almost two years now. But why would you care if he tried to get into your phone? Why would that worry you? All the possibilities run through head and his own worry begins to increase. He trusts you. He does.

So then why does the thought bother him throughout the entire day? Why does he bring it up during dinner later that night, when you're both cuddled on your sofa, slurping take-out ramen while rewatching your favorite k-drama under the thick blanket that you always keep in your living room for nights like these?

"Huh? Of course I've heard from Jay today, we had that conversation about that stupid meme you boys kept laughing about in the groupchat we're all in, didn't we?" You answer him when he asks if you've heard from Jay lately. You sit up from your warm spot under Jake's arm to put your empty bowl on the coffee table in front of you. When you lean back, you look up at him,

"Why do you ask?"

"Oh, it's nothing, just wondering," he says, avoiding your eyes by keeping his own trained on the series currently playing on your TV. This would be your third time rewatching this series together. He would never complain to you though, he knows how much you love it and if he were being honest, he was secretly attached to the characters—not that he would ever tell you, he would never hear the end of it from you and the boys.

"You're being weird. Just tell me, or did you forget that I can practically read your mind," you say with a giggle and shove to his side, the one you were currently warmly cuddled into. Jake wasn't the only one who learned how to read emotions; you could read him just as well as he could read you. And like you, that's one of the many things he loved about you. But maybe not in this case.

He toyed around with the contents inside his ramen bowl with his chopsticks.

"I just..." God, how does he word this? Why was he having trouble explaining it? You were the easiest person to talk to. To him, you were the only person he could tell everything to.

"Jaywastextingyouabunchearlier," he blurts out quickly, but not quickly enough for you to miss it.

He feels you shift under his arm. He feels the air in the room shift. Tension.

"What?" Now you're sitting upright, legs criss-crossed in front of you on the couch but turned, so your body is completely facing him. He mirrors you, sitting up to put his ramen bowl next to yours on the surface, but he stays facing the TV.

"Your phone kept going off because of him when you were showering," he says with a little more confidence. But inside, he was nervous as hell, the same nervous as when he asked you out for the first time many moons ago. But it's too late to back out now, he brought it up first, anyways. Guess we're having this conversation now, good going Jake!

"Is that why you tried unlocking my phone earlier? I mean I thought you were just trying to leave selfies on my phone like you always do but you were trying to read my texts?" You question, slightly raising your soft voice. He doesn't know how to react, he hates confrontation.

"It wasn't like that, Jay just kept spamming you and like I—why was he even texting you in the first place? Then your phone got disabled because you changed your password, which you never do by the way, so I–"

"I changed it because my little sister kept getting into my phone when I went to visit my family yesterday! Did you really think I was hiding something from you? You know I can text whoever I want, right? You don't own me."

Okay so now he's managed to make you angry. Good going Jake, part 2!

"Okay but what does Jay need from you so bad that he has to send you like 50 messages at once?" He's standing now. So are you, eyebrows furrowed together as you collect your bowls from the table.

Standing there, bowls in hand, you say, "Jake, that's none of your business! It wasn't even that big of a deal, I don't know why you felt the need to nosy around."

"Well, if he's texting you non-stop, then obviously it's a big deal! We wouldn't even be having this conversation if you would just tell me what you guys were talking about," he murmurs back, eyes narrowing. You scoff as you trail into your kitchen. He follows behind and stops at the other side at your kitchen island as you place the dirty dishes into the sink.

"No, we're having this conversation because you obviously don't trust me! It doesn't matter what we were talking about, it doesn't matter who I was texting! I could be texting your mother and I shouldn't have to tell you what we were talking about! That's why we're having this conversation," you say as you turn back to face him from the other end.

He hates this. He hates fighting with you (which is a very, very rare occasion). He hates that you think he doesn't trust you. He hates his insecurity eating at him, telling him to keep questioning you on why you and Jay were talking in the first place. He was aware that you were close with his friends, but it wasn't until the texts he realized just how close you are with them. It's not that he didn't trust you, he just didn't know how to act when it came to you and other guys. God knows how he got lucky enough to meet you, let alone date you, so the thought of him losing you to someone else actually terrified him. Not only were you his first real relationship, but he wanted you to be his first and only one in life. You were it for him.

"Why did he text you." He deadpans from his side of the kitchen.

You scoff with a hint of exasperation. "You're kidding me."

You stare at him. He stares back, quirking an eyebrow, as if restating the same question back, as if testing you.

You're fuming now. Why was he making it so hard? Why was he doubting you? Out of frustration, you start laughing, which scares him. That can't be good.

"Fine. You wanna know so bad? Take a look," you're one tone level away from screaming as you take your phone out of your pocket, unlock it, and open up your conversation with "bluejay park", sliding the phone across the island to reach him.

Jake stares at the phone which now lies there, unlocked, facing him. Isn't this what he wanted? It is, right? That's why he started this dreaded argument with you in the first place.

Then why does he feel so fucking awful?

He looks back up at you, to see you sighing and looking up at the ceiling, as if trying to force your forming tears back into your eyes.

Yup, he feels horrible.

"Happy? Happy to know we were just trying to plan a surprise birthday party for you but you and your jealously just had to know huh, Jake?" You quickly state, voice cracking, as you tried not to choke up. You weren't sad that he found out about the surprise. You were sad that it felt like he didn't trust you. That he thought you were the type of person to do god knows what behind his back. You hated the feeling of not being trusted. Especially by Jake, of all people.

"Fuck."

Jake's face (and heart) falls with the most broken expression you've ever seen. But you're too sad, angry, tired (a mix of all?) to care. Your only goal right now is to not let him see you cry.

You hurry past him, across your apartment, and into your bedroom, slamming the door behind you, leaving behind a shocked, and regretful, Jake.

His heart shrinks when he hears the door slam shut and a little more when he looks down at the still unlocked phone in front of him. He didn't have the heart in him to look at it anymore. Of course he trusted you, he knew what you said was the truth.

He mentally screams at himself for assuming the worst––for thinking that you, a literal angel, would betray him. First, he thought he was losing you to someone else. Now, he was afraid he just lost you through his own actions.

He hesitantly sulks over to your door, softly knocking when he reaches it.

"Y/N?"

No response.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry. I didn't know, I let my—”

"Jake just please leave me alone for now," he hears you painfully say from a distance, meaning you're on your bed. He knows the door's unlocked—the lock on your door hasn't been working for a long time now, despite the many times he tells you to talk to your landlord about it. But he doesn't find it in him to open it. He knows he messed up. If he saw you in there right now, crying, he wouldn't know what to do. He wouldn't know what he would to do himself, knowing he was the reason behind your tears.

He nods in silence, knowing you can't see him, but does so anyways and returns to his spot on the couch. He could leave right now, go back to the dorm with the rest of the guys, let you have your space like you wanted. But his heart hurts at the idea of leaving you sad, angry, or a combination of both. He can't leave this unresolved. He fucked up, he has to fix it.

And so he sits on your couch for another hour. The clock on the wall behind him continues to tick as the silent tension in your apartment continues to grow. When it hits 11pm and he's sure you've slumbered off into sleep, he quietly enters your room.

He can see your figure in the dark, your back facing the door as you're curled up into yourself under the comforter. He feels his heart drop a little more when he imagines you crying in that position from earlier. He slowly peels the comforter open and gets into his side of the bed, careful not to bother your sleeping figure.

Laying there, staring up at the ceiling, he's never felt more like a stranger in your bed. It's not that he hasn't slept over before, god knows he's probably slept over at your place more than he has in his own bed. But right now, in this moment, he just felt awful. Like he didn't deserve to be in such close proximity to you. How could he be deserving? He violated your privacy, made you feel like you weren't trusted, doubted your relationship.

These thoughts run through Jake's head as he stares up at your ceiling fan, wishing he could turn back time to a few hours ago, before he checked your phone, before he let his insecurities get to the best of him.

You can feel the dip he makes in the bed behind you when he gets in. Of course you're not asleep. There's no way sleep could reach you when you had the recent events constantly replaying in your head like a broken record.

You knew Jake with all your heart. You didn't have to look at him to know he was probably laying there, hurt, staring up at the ceiling, drafting what to say once you wake up—or once he knows you're actually still awake.

You decide to break the tension by turning to lay on your other side, facing him.

You were wrong. Thanks to the little sliver of moonlight shining through your sheer curtains, you can see him, now laying on his side, already looking at you with so much regret in his eyes. You can almost hear the cracks in your heart physically forming.

His eyes widen when he realizes you're still awake. He opens his mouth to say something, but not before you quickly shift over to his side of the bed and embrace him in a tight hold, burying your face into his chest. Without any hesitation, he returns the gesture, arms holding your body as close to him as possible. As if once he let go, he'd lose you forever.

He lets out a sigh of relief as he breathes you in. He didn't even know he was holding his breath all this time.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry Y/N," he mutters into your hair. He feels his hoodie getting wet from where you buried your face. He pulls you closer, if that's even possible, feeling his own eyes heating up with sadness. He would never forgive himself for making you feel this way.

"You know I trust you right? Please know that. I shouldn't have assumed the worst when I saw your phone. I...I let my insecurities get to the best of me."

You move your head from its home on his chest to look up at him, as if asking him to elaborate. This was new to you, you didn't know he held insecurities in your relationship. But it wasn't because of you, no, you were his entire world. Losing you meant losing everything.

Jake's never been the best at saying his feelings. That's why it took him so long (with the help of his six best friends) to finally confess how he felt about you. He was afraid of letting people in if they could easily walk out. Maybe that's why he never let anyone into his life before you. But oh, were you an exception. The second he met you, he knew he was fucked. But thank god he did, because thanks to you, he's been able to be more open, more vulnerable. He's able to talk to you about anything and everything. He doesn't have that same fear of losing people anymore, not when he has you in his life to reassure him every step of the way. But right now, in this moment, he doesn't know how to tell you that his new fear was, in fact, just losing you.

The sheer idea of you not being a part of his life anymore terrified him.

"I hope you know you're never going to lose me Jake, if that's what you're insecure about," you softly mutter as you wrap your free arm that's not stuck in between both your bodies around him to gently play with the ends of his hair. It's as if you could read his mind, he loves that you know him so well.

"It just sucks that you could even think I would ever do something as awful as what you were assuming...with one of your closest friends nonetheless," you continue.

"I know. I know, and I feel terrible. I'm so sorry. I know you would never do anything remotely close to that, and I know you would never intentionally try to keep anything from me," he sighs. He shifts so he can lie down on his back, bringing you with him to lie on his chest, never letting you go once. "It's just...I just don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you Y/N. Everyday, I ask myself what heroic thing I must've done in my past life to deserve this life with you and I can't help but think you could just as easily be stripped away from me."

As much as your heart breaks listening to him rant, you feel your love for him grow even more. You knew how hard it was for him to put his true emotions into words, and him telling you this reminded you how much trust he had in you.

After some moments of silence, moments of him drawing random shapes onto your back, moments of you two just holding each other like it was the end of the world, you speak up.

"I love you. I'm sorry for making you doubt yourself—"

"No, it's not your fault, I can't help but think things like that. I just don't know what I did to deserve you, and I know that I need to be mo–"

"Babe let me finish," you say with a little giggle in your tone. He immediately stops and mutters a little "sorry". How cute, you tell yourself.

"I was gonna say," you look back up at him so you're making direct eye contact now. "You're the only one that's ever on my mind, Jake. I can't help the way you think, but I can assure you that there is no one else I would rather be with. And I mean that for the rest of life."

You snuggle back into the comfortable hoodie he's currently wearing (you make a mental note to yourself to steal it from him later) and decide to ease the tension,

"So you're stuck with me for life, sorry to inform you Mr. Sim."

Jake lets out a laugh, looking down at you to see you returning his smile with a cheeky one.

"I love you. So much," he says so sincerely, so genuinely, that you almost tear up again from how content you were. Now you were asking yourself, what did you do to deserve him?

Jake Sim is not a jealous person.

No, he just loves you.

A lot.

3K notes · View notes

iwaisuke · 3 years

Text

confessions; but not remembering it

ft. kita shinsuke, sakusa kiyoomi x sick fem!reader

genre: fluff

masterlist

a/n: this has been sitting in my drafts for a while and then i rushed bc i was getting tired 🙃 also. sakusa's is a little ooc. sorry ab that

-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

» the clean yet musty smell of rain filled the gym as the boys practiced. it was a surprisingly humid and rainy spring day today here in the country side of hyogo

» "achoo" you had been sneezing and coughing all day. you also had a terrible headache but took some medicine to see if it would help. the spring allergies really getting to you

» you didnt reay have the time to be worrying about yourself. As a 2nd year manager of the inarizaki team, (recommend by suna) and the boys working so hard practicing for nationals there was no way you'd let this little cold get in the way. you had to work just as hard as everyone else!

» "hold on, im about to hang up your jerseys to dry"

» "i got you guys some fresh towels!"

» "i can run and grab that coach. im headed that way anyways"

» the coach called for a short break to rest up for a bit. everyone was sore and exhausted from practicing every day. "here. i filled your water bottles up!" handing them to all the boys. "y/n you're all wet" akagi sounded concerned.

» "hm? oh its alright. I'll dry off in a minute. i took the shortcut to the drinking fountain to refill your waterbottles instead of taking the long way" you nonchalantly said. "so you ran through the rain like an idiot?" suna threw a clean towel over your damp hair and ruffled it. "suna!! stop!! you're gonna ruin my hair"

» "like i said. its alright" you reassured the boys.

» kita, on the other hand had noticed your fatigue. although he wasnt as perceptive on peoples feeling and thoughts as well as others, he could easily pick up signs like yours. he admired you dearly for how hard you always work for the team. how you willingly did anything to make them smile. how you always put others first before yours. needless to say, he had a bit of a crush on you.

» "l/n san. i think you should take a break too. there's no need for you to be running around for us while we're resting" kita assured you. "i still have a few things left on my list to do.. but afterwards I'll take a break!" kita let out a sigh. you were stubborn sometimes and kita knew you were the kind of person to not stop until you're finished.

» "I'll be right back. i gotta grab the laundry"

» making an excuse to leave, your heart was beating fast. you knew kita's words were the kind he'd say to anyone, but it made your heart feel fuzzy when he'd look out for you.

» the stone cold captain who you thought he was, actually was so kind. he was just a little awkward like you, and a little blunt with what he said sometimes. but you learned the great qualities he carries and how much he actually cares about others well being. he was a hard worker and you couldnt help but absentmindedly fall for the captain.

» running up the stairs to the second floor of the gym, you felt a shift in your step. head becoming dizzier than it was just 5 minutes ago. legs trembling, you started falling before feeling a presence behind.

» kita's arm wrapped around your waist, supporting you in efforts to not letting you fall over. "i told you to rest l/n san" kita said sternly. "you wont benefit anyone if you keep overworking like this."

» you knew kita was right, but you really didnt want to rest knowing you'll be letting the team down by not working hard.

» "i promise I'll rest as soon as im done with this one thing" pleading with kita. he let out a sigh, knowing you really wouldnt until you did finish so he allowed you to do so.

» finishing grabbing all of the dry jerseys and bringing them downstairs to pass out to everyone, you didnt really notice atsumu and osamu spiking volleyballs at each other until aran yelled

» "y/n! watch out!" honestly, you were too tired to move out of the way so you figured, it do be like that sometimes, and allowed the ball to hit you.

» or... so you had planned the ball to hit you.

» kita stood in front, blocking the impact of the spike that you had prepared yourself for. there was agitation in kita's eyes. more than you usually noticed when then twins were miss behaving. concern washing over, he looked you straight in the eyes

» "... is there something wrong kita san?" lifting up his hand to your forehead, he let out a sigh. "why didnt you tell me earlier you had a fever", then walking over to the coach meanwhile atsumu and osamu come over to apologise for being reckless.

» "get your stuff. we're going home" kita said bluntly.

» "huh? but practice is-"

» "please l/n san. for me"

» kita would only take yes for an answer this time. no if's ands or buts. so here you were, walking home with kita. only the sound of raindrops hitting your shared umbrella being heard.

» muscles starting to ache a little more and your legs becoming more tired than they were when you left the gym, you began to walk a little slower every step

» "get on my back l/n" "its ok kita san, i can walk. its already enough that you're walking me home" "i didnt ask if you wanted to. im telling you to"

» you couldnt tell if it was the fever that made your face warmer or if it was kita's words. nonetheless, you got on kita's back. he was a lot stronger than he looked and you couldnt help but stifen at being so close to your own crush like this.

» "relax. I'll make sure you get home." he reassured. you leaned into his back, warmth seeping in, your eyes began to feel heavy.

» "kita san" "yes?" "thank you for always watching out for me"

» a comfortable silence was met as the sound of rain filled your ears.

» "kita san" "hm?" "did you know..." your voice softened "i like you a lot kita san"

» did he hear you correctly? if he wasnt paying attention he wouldve missed what you had said, being drowed out through the pitter patter of water. now his heart thumping louder than ever before.

» "l/n san-" he was about to go on but was met with the gentle rise and fall of your chest and the soft snores of you on his back, knocked out from exertion. kita let out a light chuckle, finally relieved you were resting.

» you had missed the next day of school, but when you came back the whole volleyball team bombarded you with love.

» "WE'RE A FAILURE TO NOT NOTICE YOU FEELING SICK" atsumu cried. "how could we let our one and only precious manager get ill for taking care of us" akagi, clearly dissapointed in himself. "please let us know when we can take care of you too y/n" aran said.

» "its no big deal. really!" waving your hands in defense. "it was just a small cold. but i do have a question though"

» all the boys gathered around to hear what you had to say

» "how did i get home?? i really dont remember what happened after i almost got hit by atsumu"

» it shocked the guys honestly. you genuinely didnt remember a single thing due to your fever. "wait? you don't remember kita taking you home?" suna replied, your face becoming red. "k-kita san took me home-?" "yah. he left in the middle of practice to do so" osamu added.

» immediately, you got up to find the captain that apparently took you home the other day. he was in the storage closet cleaning and grabbing the equipment for todays practice.

» "kita san" "oh. l/n. glad you're feeling better" his smile brightened the musty closet. "about that, im sorry for troubling you and having you take me home the other day. i honestly dont remember what happened after i almost got hit by atsumu. my mind was really fuzzy that day, but im truly thankful for you going out of your way for me. it really means a lot"

» kita was dumbfounded. you really dont remember? "no need to apologize l/n. it was my responsibility as a captain. and afterall, what good would i be if i couldnt even take care of the person who means the most to me"

» your heart raced. 'person who means the most to me' ? cheeks blushing a rosy pink, you were internally thanking the musty store room from being dim.

» with arms full of equipment, kita walked by you and stopped.

» "by the way l/n san. did you know?"

» ears perking up at the vague yet familiar line

» "i like you a lot too l/n san"

» now we all know sakusa HATES germs and for the past week and a half, he's been telling you to keep up with washing your hands, wearing a mask at all times even when you eat omi it doesnt work like that. pls especially since you are prone to getting sick easily no matter how hygenic you are. your immune system just hated you. PERIODT

» you remembered sakusa scolding you for running out of hand sanitizer and then the next day you were out of commission. bed ridden with laryngitis, cough, slight fever, the whole works. it was like your body was making fun of you or something

» you texted komori, asking him to take notes in class for you and relay homework information while you were at home resting up. but there was one request you had and made komori PROMISE.

» DO NOT TELL SAKUSA YOU GOT SICK

» "he's probably gonna notice your absence y/n. he'll find out about it either way"

» "well if you dont tell him then he wont know. its not like he even cares about where i am like that"

» "thats what you might think. but i know he's gonna say something i can garuntee it"

» the next day at school, sakusa did notice your presence missing. it was quieter not having a 3rd person in the group of friends. not having you around to talk to him when komori was gone.

» pulling out his phone to text you, he asked where you were that day.

» "on a family trip :D !!! forgot to tell you, but I'll tell you all about it when i come back!" you wrote, attaching an old selfie of a different trip you went on to make it more believable.

» you had hoped this silly cold would get better in a day, but soon that day turned into 2 and then 3 and then 4... you pretty much missed the whole week of school at that point

» Friday rolled around and komori was on his phone all day. sakusa noticed his cousin fidget in his chair more than usual and it irked him to see him like that

» "what's with you today?" one eye raised, sakusa finally asked. "uhhh nothing really" komori wasnt very good at keeping secrets lets just start off with that, but he was trying his best.

» "well clearly somethings wrong. you're fidgeting." "well haven't you noticed somethings been different all week?" komori hinted

» sakusa sat there in thought. nothing's been different? he ate the same breakfast he usually does every morning. all his studies have been well. there were no tests this week so there was no reason to be anxious like komori was and even if there was, he would've done well anyways.

» "just tell me what it is." sakusa was starting to get annoyed. "y/n..." komori started. "y/n?" "do you know where she's been this week?"

» did you not tell komori about your family trip? you usually told komori everything, but then again you didn't tell him either until he asked you about it.

» "she said shes on a trip?" he nonchalantly said. komori's eyes started watering. "A TRIP TO THE HOSPITAL THATS WHAT IT IS" he blurted out. komori didnt mean to let it slip , he was just so worried about your well being.

» "hospital?? what are you talking about. did she get injured on her trip?" "no omi. shes been sick all week and her mom just texted me saying she went to the hospital today because shes had a fever for 3 days straight. there is no family trip"

» sakusa's heart shattered. you were sick and didnt even tell him?

» before both he and komori knew it, his legs were running faster to get to the hospital than he had ever imagined he could ever run.

» and there you were. fast asleep in a bed with an IV drip. your face flushed, forehead sweaty and shallow breaths escaping your chapped lips. you were a hot mess but sakusa didnt care. stepping to your bedside to greet your mother she explained to him that she had to go to work and asked if he could watch over you until she gets back.

» sakusa said yes without even hearing the whole thing. his heart and mind saying yes to whatever it took to get you to feel better.

» gosh how he hated hospitals, but what he hated even more was the fact that you were in the hospital and he didnt even know.

» the doctor came in for their evening round and ensured sakusa that you were indeed getting better! your fever had broken not too long ago and your body was working extra hard to heal itself up!

» "is there anything i can do to help?" sakusa asked. he felt helpless in this situation just watching your face distort in uncomfort every now and then, and coughing your lungs out.

» patting sakusa's shoulder, the doctor told him that just being here for you is enough. "you gotta be a strong boyfriend for her alright son? she'll be able to go home tomorrow first thing in the morning if her fever doesnt come back"

» sakusa slumped in his chair at your bedside, the doctors words ringing through his head. 'boyfriend huh?' he thought to himself. "if i was her boyfriend..." he whispered to himself, "i would be a failure for not even knowing my girl was sick..."

» to kiyoomi, you were beautiful. even now in this sad state you were in. deep down he locked these growing feelings he had for you inside of him because he always felt like you were a better match with someone else and after this stunt you pulled of lying to him about going on a family trip, it only made him feel worse.

» it was now night time and you finally began to stir in your sleep, the fever finally gone. sakusa reached out to move some hair that was stuck to your face, fingers tracing the outline of your jaw. your eyes slowly opened and met with his dark orbs.

» "y/n?" "saku- wait this is just a dream. omi wouldn't be here. he hates hospitals" you let out a forced laugh and then a sigh through your sore throat.

» you reached out to sakusa's hands that were resting on the side of your bed. "omi would never let me hold his hand because he'd say im passing germs to him so hopefully dream omi wont be the same" you were aimlessly talking to yourself, not even realizing that this really wasnt a dream.

» he squeezed your hand in return. hoping that you wouldnt let go any time soon. a funny smile appeared on your face just at the thought of him. "even if you're stupid for not realizing how much i like you... i cant wait to see you again omi" you whispered before falling asleep again.

» sakusa didnt know what to do. he sat there frozen in his chair. it was his first time hearing you call him omi. heck. you literally just confessed to the boy. his brain was running wild. groaning in distress he let go of your hand to step out for a breath of fresh air now that you were back asleep.

» it was 5am and your mother came back to the hospital and thanked sakusa for staying by your side. He left in a hurry to make sure you didnt see him there.

» Monday rolled around and sakusa was waiting outside of the school gates for you. he had planned on asking you about your "trip"

» "good morning sakusa!!" your bright and cheery voice rang through his ears. honestly he was trembling inside. the memory of you confessing to him still fresh in his mind.

» "how was your trip?" you stopped dead in your tracks. "haha... it was good !! sorry i forgot to get you a souvenir" you were trying to play it cool but sakusa could tell you were forcing yourself. "i wouldnt want a souvenir from where you came from so its fine" sakusa's words threw you off. "i - im not sure im understanding what you're saying sakusa?"

» you felt a tug on your hand. "dont you mean omi?" his voice husky as he whispered into your ear. cheeks flushed, your brain felt like it short circuted. you've always tried your hardest to not let it slip that you want to call him omi since he hated when people called him that.

» sakusa smirked at your cute reaction he got out of you. letting go of your hand he began to walk into the school leaving you at the gate dumbfounded. "and by the way. you're just as stupid for not realizing how long ive liked you too"

-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

thank you for your order! enjoy~!

#haikyuu x reader #hq fluff #haikyuu fluff #yinny!drabbles #sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa fluff #kita shinsuke #kita x reader #kita fluff

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waveridden · 4 years

Note

JAMIE have you ever considered a modern AU for blaseball because I would love to hear your thoughts on one

cola... have i told you lately that i love you

i know i’ve talked a little about various modern aus however tonight i am thinking about the marijuana family so i present to you:

HIGH ON LIFE: a marijuana family sitcom (name subject to change) (many thanks to @leonstamatis because some of this comes from conversations with them. mostly the jokes.)

here is the setup for this mini universe that lives in my head

dom (23) is the pseudo parent to randy (19) and lenny (14 but she’s almost 15 guys she’s basically an adult) and the three of them have lived in new york city their entire lives but dom gets a job offer that’s too good to pass up... in denver*. so the entire family has to pack up and move to denver.

( * i would do somewhere in utah, bc hellmouth, but i have to be honest. i’ve known several people from utah and all of them have been just like... horrible to be around. so this is a personal bias thing. colorado’s better anyways.)

so our family is in denver now! denver is a major city ofc but it’s still a MAJOR change from new york so that is our inciting sitcom incident. Uh Oh What Kind Of Wackiness Will Our Protagonists Get Up To!

dom works at a warehouse, he’s a shift lead or something like that, and it’s his first ever full time job (as opposed to stringing together three part-time jobs). it’s supposed to be a great job and he fucking hates it but the pay is better than anything in new york and it’s better for the family if he’s here so, well, he’s here

andrew solis is a local union rep who dom gets in touch with because his job sucks and they have a lot of clandestine meetings about union stuff that turn into non clandestine meetings because they enjoy spending time together that turn into a nice normal committed relationship

andrew gets along really well with randy. he’s a nice kid, if a little much sometimes. it’s fine.

andrew is terrified of lenny

you know that john mulaney bit about how a group of thirteen year olds can sense your insecurities? lenny is an entire group of thirteen year olds on her own. she is mean and powerful and andrew is afraid of that.

obviously a lot of dom’s friends (ie the mills) are back in new york but he calls them CONSTANTLY. like, once a day. they are very loud and they love him and they miss him and are so proud of him for helping his job unionize and shit like that. they can’t visit in person often but every now and again they do.

randy gets a job at a local theatre company, which is the last thing he expected to be doing but it’s kind of... awesome? everyone here is super chill and funny and loud and he gets along with them great.

this is the jazz hands. i know they’re in breckenridge. this is my au. they’re in denver today.

his immediate best friend is layna, who does bit parts in musicals and more importantly writes a lot of weird experimental short plays that the theatre produces. she’s a couple years older than him and is far too cool and pretty for him. she tells him this every day and he agrees. she works at a zoo/botanical garden and lenny is constantly hounding her for free zoo passes and stuff (layna agrees because she adores lenny and also it’s an excuse for randy to visit her)

is the botanical garden an excuse to have the flowers players here? yes. geography is less powerful than I Want Everyone In The Same Place

randy’s OTHER best friends are nagomi (community college student/works in the aquarium part of the zoo) and emmett (computer science student at a four-year). most of the time the three of them just chill out and get high and do dumb 19-year-old shit together they’re just three chill friends

do not leave nagomi and lenny in a room together. don’t do it.

lenny isn’t allowed in costco anymore. this is nagomi’s fault

one time randy leaves both emmett and nagomi to watch lenny because surely emmett will prevent any shenanigans. when he comes back nagomi and lenny have stolen three street signs. emmett allowed this to happen because lenny and nagomi specificall stole a sign that said “emmett drive” and they can’t drive and they think it’s funny. so emmett is ALSO not allowed to watch lenny/nagomi

(emmett’s fine watching lenny on their own, it’s just that nagomi “fuck around and find out” nava is too powerful to be overridden)

occasionally nagomi’s twin sibling margarito also hangs out with her randy and emmett. when margo/randy are together they’re A Force To Be Reckoned With. they’re chaotic and easy to manipulate so nagomi can convince them to do some wild shit together. it rules.

lenny loves margo. xe’s never allowed to know this. but she adores xem.

meanwhile lenny is experiencing the worst thing that a teenager can experience: moving during high school. she is doing her absolute goddamn best to fit into the social scene here but it’s so different from new york and she doesn’t know how to handle it

her first friend is kiki familia because i just think fourteen year old girls should stick together and because i think lenny is not above very loudly very rudely making sure that kiki gets all the accommodations she needs

andrew visits one day and lenny is practicing asl in front of a mirror and he’s like oh do you want a conversation partner? because he knows enough to hold a conversation. this is how lenny and andrew form an actual relationship

(andrew is also fluent in spanish and he helps her with spanish homework but she resents this because she thinks it’s nerdy. at least with asl it’s for a good reason.)

and then a couple months later another new student shows up and she is having the opposite experience from lenny because she lived in wyoming for a really long time which is... not a big city... and denver is comparatively HUGE and she’s just really overwhelmed? and lenny is like. oh i can show you around! for sure! definitely! new students have to stick together!

kiki, suspiciously: you’re not new anymore

lenny, very non-subtly: kiki shut the fuck up

this new student is chorby and she gets along great with both kiki (i’m not sure what the analog for magical girl is in a modern au but like it’s something and they bond over it) and lenny, who immediately has a massive big huge crush on her

kiki knows this. kiki mocks this relentlessly.

lenny makes it super super clear that kiki is never going to be the third wheel and kiki’s like yes i am and that’s fine

dom and randy both absolutely adore chorby. she’s so polite. lenny knows that chorby can curse like a sailor and has very specific opinions about screamo bands but when she meets lenny’s brothers she is a saint and lenny is like... swooning over it

and like lenny/chorby are teenagers which means sometimes they get into fights over dumb things and sometimes they get into fights over serious things but they always work it out in the end

there’s definitely a whole Thing because chorby goes to the sadie hawkins dance with juice collins and lenny is like. what the fuck.

is juice a teen? she is in the jamie cassidy extended blaseball teen universe. at least for today

anyways you might notice that there is not a lot of plot here. that’s because this is a sitcom and it is really just a very long setup for me to think about various ideas happening in (i.e. lenny trying to intimidate andrew for absolutely no reason, randy/nagomi/emmett shenanigans) it’s genuinely just like. a fun little world for me to play in when i need it.

the MOST IMPORTANT PART of this au is the family tho. cannot stress this enough, dom and randy and lenny all have family time constantly. they love each other so much. and that family expands to include andrew, and chorby, and emmett and nagomi and kiki and layna, but at its heart This Is A Sibling Story and i love them. the end

#waveridden.ask #queen-eevee #i need a blaseball tag #i was like 'this'll be an easy quick thing to answer' spoiler alert it... wasn't #under the cut i present to you THIRTEEN HUNDRED WORDS of self indulgent shenanigans #weed family sitcom tag

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curiosity-killed · 3 years

Text

sunbeam flaring

hair...healing...thoughts...?? They’re Dumbasses, Ur Honor

(title stolen from Love Sonnet XI by Neruda bc I had litcherally no idea what to call it)

word count: 2354

He notices it on a perfectly ordinary afternoon two weeks before Callebero’s twenty-second birthday. Inasmuch as the captain of the imperial cavalry has such a thing, it’s Sirion’s day off; he sleeps in, waking only briefly when Callebero extricates himself and presses a kiss to his cheek and then dozing until the sun is two fingers above the horizon. His morning is slow and indulgent; breakfast with Regent Aquios, who insists he call her by her first name despite the way he shies from such familiarity, followed by a few hours catching up on the paperwork and correspondence that has piled up in his office lately. Now, he pauses in the middle of running forms with Mikolan as Callebero crosses the gardens. He’s dressed formally today, in those heavy layers he hates and which always draw Sirion’s eyes to his narrow waist and the broad strength of his shoulders. An older retainer walks at his side, mirroring his frown, but it’s not their conversation that catches Sirion’s attention.

Callebero’s hair has been pulled back from the front, the long tail tucked into a neat bun that’s secured by a gold band. A spider’s-silk thread of jewels drips in a loop below it. Beneath it, the rest of his hair forms a short curtain falling just below his ear. The end of a staff taps him on the top of his head. “Stop gawking. We already know you and the imperator have turned the palace to your love nest, but you don’t have to be so obvious,” Mikolan scolds. “That is not—” Sirion starts to sign before huffing out a breath and giving up. Once she recovered from the initial shock of Valyn’s treachery and Callebero’s return, Mikolan had thrown herself gleefully into teasing him about their relationship. So far, she is still too mindful of place to say anything to Callebero, but she has taken full credit for them meeting and has not missed a single opportunity to remind Sirion of his early impressions of Callebero. There’s no point fighting such a losing battle, so he turns back to their practice and stows that startled notice away for later contemplation. It’s not like he’s unaware of it. He’d noticed Callebero scratching the back of his head with the end of a reed pen when his hair was little more than rabbit-fur fuzz, and Sirion has combed his fingers through both the long tail of his crown and the shorter locks just growing out. It’s just—he hasn’t thought about it. That night, curled close around each other with their legs tangled, Sirion skates his fingers through Callebero’s hair and tries to order his own thoughts. There’s a sharp division between the thick, downy underlayer and the longer half, sleek and silken. A fiercely selfish part of Sirion is grateful he never saw Callebero’s hair hacked short. He thinks he might have killed whoever held the blade. “I know, it’s ridiculous,” Callebero mumbles from where his face is smashed partially into the pillow and partially into Sirion’s left arm. Canting his head, Sirion shakes his fingers gently out of his hair and taps Callebero’s shoulder twice in the negative. Callebero shifts so that half his face is unburied and squints blearily up at Sirion. He’s not sure what all happened today, but Jisel had been clearly nursing a headache throughout dinner and Callebero had collapsed face first onto their bed before removing his crown or hairpieces. He’d muttered something about doing away with all laws and ceding absolute power to Jisel, to which Sirion had reasonably pointed out that she would kill him herself if he did such a thing. Groaning, Callebero had smashed his face into the pillow and muttered a string of curses that made even Sirion’s brows lift. “It is nice,” Sirion signs now. “I liked how you had it today.” Callebero squints at him, brow wrinkling as if in complete bafflement. “You may be a once-in-a-generation commander,” he says finally, “but your taste in men remains questionable.” Rolling his eyes, Sirion flicks his shoulder. “Say it again, and I’ll bite you,” he warns. For a moment, Callebero stares at him in open confusion, his lips parted around words that don’t escape beyond a faint squeak. Then, he breaks into laughter and reaches up to drag Sirion down and kiss him. “So much for my protector,” he teases. Sirion arches his eyebrows. “Jisel would say the same,” he retorts. “I can assure you Jisel would never bite me,” Callebero rejoins with a laugh. Rolling them over so that he can drape himself across Callebero’s chest and free his left arm, Sirion shakes his head. Callebero allows the shift comfortably, curling his arm around Sirion’s side to trace slow strokes up and down his back. Despite his earlier exhaustion, he’s bright-eyed now and smiles up at Sirion. “Only because she would be better prepared,” Sirion replies. At that, Callebero only breathes out a soft laugh and tilts his head to one side in apparent concession. “Very well, Commander,” he teases. “I solemnly swear not to doubt your taste in romantic partners ever again.” He leans in when Sirion presses a kiss to his lips and hums in pleasure when Sirion nips his bottom lip. “I don’t know how anyone thinks you’re such a solemn and decorous leader,” Sirion gripes. Callebero yawns and wiggles his shoulders in a mix of a shrug and an effort to nestle down into the mattress. Easing off him, Sirion settles back at his side with his arm draped over Callebero’s waist. His sleeping robes are warm and creased from being pressed so close between them, and Sirion can feel his own body slipping closer to sleep. “Mm,” Callebero hums. “It helps that I mostly keep my mouth shut.” Sirion can’t help breathing out a laugh at that, shaking his head. Like many, his first impression of Callebero had been a silent one—and at the time, Sirion had read that as cool haughtiness much as many visitors did. Laying such an image over the Callebero he now knows seems laughable, but he knows he’s one of only a few who can claim such familiarity. Under his arm, Callebero’s belly tenses with a quiet laugh. He prods Sirion in the ribs. “It worked on you, after all,” he teases. Mikolan’s incessant teasing rises to Sirion’s mind, and he shakes his head. Callebero grins. “You thought I was a brat,” he says, unreasonably gleeful. “I”—Sirion starts and then stops short, because that is true—“changed my mind.” Callebero snorts, graceless, and wriggles out from Sirion just enough to smother the candle on the side table. With only the moonlight left spilling blue through the cracks in the shutters, the room is ink-dark and it takes a few moments for his eyes to adjust. “It took me kicking your ass to change your mind,” Callebero retorts. “It was a draw,” Sirion signs. “I laid you out, love.” There’s laughter in Callebero’s voice as he speaks, and Sirion finds amusement battling down the old wound to his pride. He can still picture the staff end hovering right before his nose, Callebero’s careless, bright grin on the other end. He hadn’t fallen in love in that moment, but it had been a shift—a sudden, bracing change like dunking into cold water on a summer day. “You had the element of surprise,” he still insists. “Mm,” Callebero hums doubtfully. “I could still take you.” Narrowing his eyes, Sirion squints at him in the darkness. It’s absurd. They’re both grown men with more accolades than most families have in three generations. They’ve each emerged from three wars and a coup with honors and scars to prove their valor. There is no reason to quibble over an old sparring match. “Could not,” he signs anyway. Callebero’s laughter is more of a hot brush of air against Sirion’s skin than a sound, and he squeezes him once. “I suppose we’re due for a rematch then,” he says, the words briefly warped around a yawn. “Ah maybe next week?” Sirion hums and drops his head to Callebero’s shoulder, hooking his ankle around his calf. “For your birthday,” he signs, and Callebero laughs. Jisel catches on quickly, of course. On the third day of Regent Batu’s visit, they duck away with a pot of tea in the far corner of the library where only Callebero ever thinks to look. If anyone asks, they aren’t hiding. It’s simply a convenient location to get some work done while the visiting gentry fill the palace with gossip and traveling parties and more gifts than any single person has ever needed. For the most part, Sirion looks on all the pomp and frivolity with amusement. All these rich nobles falling over themselves to litter Callebero with gilt and gems as if they could win his favor with enough gold. And, selfishly, part of Sirion likes that none of their piled gifts will never match what Callebero actually wants. A toothed satisfaction runs through him at the futility of their sycophancy. “If Jemma catches you gawking at his hair one more time, I think she might combust,” Jisel remarks. Rolling his eyes, Sirion glances up from the report he’s been reading to shoot her a glare. Over the last year and a half, it has become apparent that Jemma doesn’t quite know how to handle he and Callebero being partners and seems stuck vacillating between threatening Sirion should he ever hurt Callebero and lecturing Callebero on valuing Sirion enough. Hayalen has spent most of it laughing at both her wife and the two of them. “I do not gawk,” Sirion retorts now. Jisel raises her eyebrows, hiding her smile behind her teacup, and he can feel heat suffusing his cheeks. Huffing out a breath, he leans back in his chair. “It’s not”—he stops, pressing his lips into a seam in frustration before sighing—“I’m just not used to it.” Humming faintly, Jisel lowers her cup to cradle between her hands and runs a fingertip back and forth over the lip. “I did the same when Kieran came back from Jimar,” she admits. “It took a while, and I hardly noticed at first but then…” She pauses, looking away. A pang squeezes Sirion’s heart. He doesn’t know exactly how she and the younger Aquios’ relationship fell apart, and they’ve seemed to be on polite enough terms now—but it still feels shocking and somehow wrong that they should have ended at all. “It’s comforting,” she says finally, turning back to him with a little smile, “to know that he’s not planning to rush headlong into danger again.” Oh. Sirion blinks, startled by that analysis. He’s hardly thought of it in such serious terms; when he’s pondered his sudden fixation on Callebero’s hair it’s been more in curiosity and bafflement. Footsteps sound behind them, and Sirion twists around. Callebero’s eyebrows arch up as he nears, unimpressed, and Sirion grins back at him. “Traitors,” Callebero announces. “We only wanted to give our imperator princep space to celebrate with his courtiers,” Jisel replies, sweet as honey. Huffing out a breath, Callebero drops down into the chair beside Sirion. “Your imperator princep would rather shovel out all the horse stalls in the capital,” he retorts. He kicks lightly at Sirion’s ankle, glancing over to grin at Sirion as if Sirion weren’t already looking at him. Shaking his head, Sirion reaches over to pull him in for a brief kiss. He comes willingly, smiling against his lips, and across the table, Jisel snorts. “Shameless,” she singsongs. Callebero laughs, a warm breath of air against Sirion’s lips, and then he pulls back to grin at her. He’s still leaned close enough that Sirion could run a hand through his hair if it weren’t so neatly pinned up. “I remember someone telling me that Aeridians are all too repressed and that’s why we spend so much time polishing our swords,” he says. Pausing, Jisel narrows her eyes and searches his face like she can’t tell if he’s joking or not. After a moment, she scowls and leans back. “You can’t use the things I’ve said while drunk against me,” she says. “And I stand by it anyway.” Shaking his head, Callebero snorts out a laugh. The motion makes his earrings jingle, ringing together like little chimes. When they turn in for the evening, he’ll grumble about all the layers and seriously contemplate going to bed with each of the dangling piercings still in, and Sirion will nudge him into sitting still long enough to let him take them out and loosen his hair from its severe styling. He can nearly feel the memory of it, the body-warm metal and the cool brush of hair, already lingering in his fingertips. “Since neither of you drink properly, it’s only fair,” Jisel says with a careless shrug. “That is for the sake of the nation’s dignity,” Callebero rejoins. Sirion snorts. “Where would we be if everyone knew the fearsome Black Prince fell asleep after one cup?” he teases. That earns him a short glare and a flick in his shoulder, but he captures Callebero’s hand to tangle their fingers together, which earns him a smile and a net win. Sitting back in his chair, Callebero rolls his shoulders and finally starts to relax. “Jar,” Callebero corrects loftily, and Jisel snorts. “Half,” Jisel rejoins. Stifling a grin, Sirion settles in to let them bicker it out. He’s never seen Callebero drunk, only warm and loose with wine and contentment. His only part in the quibbling is to tease both of them wherever possible. A few strands of Callebero’s hair have slipped loose from the braids and bun, sliding down in a loose loop. Humming softly, Sirion reaches out to tuck them behind his ear. His hand lingers, brushing gently through his hair. Callebero turns slightly, just enough for Sirion to catch the smile on his lips. It softens, warms, and Sirion finds himself mirroring him, helpless. Across the table, Jisel snorts at both of them, and Sirion’s smile broadens into a grin.

#my writing #story: tcp #calsir #ch: callebero #ch: jisel #ch: sirion #Thots™ happening...?? Perhaps????#idk this is from a while ago and i just wanted to wrap it up

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hobiwonder · 5 years

Text

crazy rich asians | 01

Genre: Chaebol!BTS. maid!reader. Smut, fluff. mild angst.

Pairing: Jin x reader, Jimin x reader, Hoseok x reader, Yoongi x reader. Possible future pairings.

Warnings for this chapter: language. brief mention of oral sex. Kissing !!!

Words: 9k+

Summary: You overhear something you shouldn’t. Now some of the country’s most powerful - and rich - men would do anything to keep you quiet.

a/n: i turned it into a fic as requested!!! ngl��. am worried how people will receive this lol. This will be a short series. no major angst so don’t worry. i hope you guys like it bc i really enjoyed writing it. please let me know what you think n feed my motivation bubble so i dont take months to finish this ajdubejekbfjk.

This was odd. Jin’s eyebrows furrowed – which he was strongly against since premature wrinkles were one of his biggest fears. He was closer to thirty than twenty so his concerns were valid. Jimin almost never visited his childhood home ever since their father got engaged to the secretary – another cliché – a few months ago.

“Hm… what changed your mind little brother.” Jin mutters as he passes the sleek Mercedes that belongs to his younger brother. Nevertheless, he can’t help the sly smirk that fights his muscles and spreads across his porcelain skin. He couldn’t wait to rub it in Jimin’s face that he finally returned when his bank account dried out. Most likely.

The plethora of house staff greeting Jin as he walked along the indoor fountain, trying to acknowledge most of them. They had too many servants and it wasn’t Jin’s fault that he didn’t care about most of them. But it was hard when they all looked so sheepish like they had some wretched secret they were supposed to hide but failed.

“Good Afternoon Sir, what brings you here?” Jin’s long legs are no match for the shorter man who usually took care of everything in the manor so he’s a little breathless as he Jogs besides him.

“To my own house? Where I lived for 20 years?” This really was becoming a strange day.

“A-Ah no sir. I meant no disrespect just wanted to be prepared to accommodate you accordingly.”

“Okay,” This was officially starting to annoy him and the furrow in his forehead was getting deeper. He would not get wrinkles because his servant annoyed him in to it. “Alfred… Anders… Andrew. Whatever your name is, I don’t need to announce my arrival at my own home. On second thought, maybe I should.”

The idea is very appealing as he swirls the thought in his head and it’s enough to make him forget the butler’s calls as he enters Jimin’s private wing. He isn’t surprised though when he already hears faint moans but not of a woman for once. It’s undoubtedly Jimin which is again – peculiar because getting off himself wasn’t something Jimin liked to do if he had ‘several other women ready to do it for me’ if quoting him directly. He guesses there is only one way to find out as he approaches the living area, looking at the back of his head resting on the enormous lounge sofa.

“Well hello there brother!” His tongue doesn’t form anymore words when he can finally see Jimin in his line of view – and his father’s fiancé frantically buttoning her blouse to retain some of her dignity. Jimin on the other hand is taking his sweet time tucking himself inside his slacks – shaking his head in disbelief as if Jin’s caused him immense grief.

“…and Amber.” Jin is no stranger to walking in on his brother – or friends really – indulging in all sorts of debauchery but this – this was quite interesting and to put it simply, messy. “Well, well, well. Did you come back to sleep with our step-mother or actually missed your family, god forbid?”

Jimin is no more rattled than a sloth as he runs his hands through his silky golden hair and smacks Amber’s ass as she’s still fiddling with her blouse. “A bit of both.”

“I-I didn’t know you’d b-be back so quick Jin-ah.” Her pearly white teeth that his father paid way too much for are almost blinding him. Yeah he’s not that bored today to play along with her games so he opts for just a dry smile. This was no surprise to him. Especially when the first person she had a fling with in this household was, well, Jin himself.

“Clearly. Thankfully you know father won’t be home until late. Run along now. I’ve got to catch up with your son.” Okay, that one’s on him. He liked to rub it in her face.

“Step-son.” She’s positively seething and Jin couldn’t be more delighted.

“Ooh. Naughty aren’t you? I knew you were always in a bit of incest.”

Jimin’s snort and Amber’s scoff come at the same time but at least it makes her on her way, heels clicking as she’s strutting away.

“I gave the staff one job and they couldn’t even do that.” Jimin walks towards the liquor cabinet, pouring himself a whiskey at 12 in the afternoon – bringing a smile to his face. He did miss his little brother.

“To keep me from finding Amber swallowing your unborn children?

“Thank fuck for that. I’m not ever going to be ready for kids.”

“Understandable. Considering you are one.” Jin’s shit eating grin makes Jimin pour another glass which he drowns in a second too.

“Please tell me how many ‘kids’ you know who’re worth half a billion dollars?”

Not a trick question.

“Almost all of our friends? Plus, we’re brothers you maggot. And I’m worth more.” His stance widens as he splays his feet out in some sort of power pose.

“What now? You want us sword fighting?” Jimin’s glancing to his crotch before he continues, “I’ll win because somebody didn’t let me finish.” Yes, very evident from the hard tent in his slacks.

“No need to resort to unsanitary methods. Talking will do.” He’s waving his hand in dismissal, watching Jimin taking a seat opposite – absolutely no attempts at hiding his boner. “So, what brings you back? Thought you were up in the Bahamas getting tanned and toned and weren’t due back for a few more weeks?”

“Correct but that was until father announced his surprise engagement.” Jimin is on his third glass of whiskey but looks more sober than a priest.

“Is there anything he does these days that isn’t a surprise? I found out I was moving houses from the real estate agent for god’s sake.” That makes Jimin snort out a laugh.

“Christ. He’s a bastard isn’t he?” Jimin had been in boarding school still when Jin had been effectively moved out of the manor in to a skyscraper penthouse because his father had wanted to ‘relax by himself and no kids’. As if he raised them on his own.

“Yup. Turns out he just needed the house to be snitch-free to fuck his secretary/future step-mom.” Plus he was still going through the divorce with their mother.

“I can understand why.” Jimin’s closing his eyes, heading leaning back again as a sultry smile spreads on his youthful face as if he’s reminiscing an irreplaceable memory. “Amber can make you forget you own name.”

“Right?” Jin is letting his inner, less sophisticated horny teenager alter ego slip through as he agrees with his brother about what a good lay their step-mom is.

“You already tap that?” When Jin just winks in Jimin’s direction, he’s clapping and chuckling like he can’t believe it.

“You’re no better than me brother and please, don’t take that as an insult. No offense at all.”

“None taken.” For a moment Jimin truly feels slightly happier. Looking at his brother and remembering sitting across from him while they talked about everything when they were younger and thought they had a chance at becoming people different than their father or their whole family. He had everything. They both had everything. There wasn’t one thing that either of them lacked or desired. So needless to say, their lives were a little grey and lacked excitement. Money though. That never failed to give him a hard-on.

Seeing his brother also made him happy, sure.

“Remember when we were playing in father’s office that one time he left it unlocked?” Jimin continues when Jin nods slowly, “And remember when we were rummaging through the drawers we found a safe and tried to break into it before Anderson caught us?”

“I knew it! He looked like an Anders.” When Jimin just blankly stares at him he mutters an apology and tells him to continue.

“Anyway. I went back and broke in to the safe.”

“Of course you did,” Jin is rolling his eyes but not finding it surprising that his little brother, ever the inquisitive little cat, went back to do exactly what he was told to notdo.

“No, listen,” Jimin’s eyes are increasingly growing frantic as he shifts forward, abandoning his glass of whiskey and Jin knew that this was something juicy. “There were papers inside the safe. Granddad’s will. I made copies.”

“Wait, you told me there was a bunch of cocaine and ecstasy. Nothing else.” Jimin shrugs once again to ask what was his point.

“And?”

“And you stole the papers but not the drugs? My teenage self hates you so much right now.”

“And that poor bastard should be thankful I looked in to the papers otherwise you would become penniless. Very soon.”

What was Jimin trying to say. “Get to the point Jimin. What about Grandpa’s will?”

Jin’s palms were becoming sweaty and a little tick in his left leg had already started and was about to become a full blown restless leg syndrome like a pathetic little office worker worried about losing a promotion.

“Well,” Jimin is moving across the room to sit beside his older brother, turning his lithe body to the side facing him as he starts to explain. “Grandad’s will stated that we were to receive 10% of our inheritance every year starting at the age of 35. Unless father remarried.”

The mention of money always sped up Jin’s heartbeat. It raced in his chest like he was about to win the lottery. Maybe he was?

“What then… ?” Jimin’s Cheshire grin slowly lighting up his whole face was never a good sign. Until now apparently.

“If he remarried before we turned 35, we are to receive our inheritance. In full. At once.”

Jin really felt like his heart would beat out of his chest. Because that was a lot of money.

“That’s-”

“$10 billion.” There was a slight pause as Jimin eagerly awaited his brother’s reaction.

“I think I just had a powergasm.” Jimin is chuckling as he slaps Jin’s back, shaking his older brother out of joy as they both start to gradually laugh louder. Is this how supervillains felt? Jin’s never laughed like this before and it’s no surprise that it’s money that’s doing the trick. Poor people wouldn’t understand.

That’s when another realisation occurs. “That’s why he kicked me out of the house. Because he was going to get engaged and couldn’t risk us retaliating and finding this bit of information out.”

“Precisely big brother.”

“Fuck…. We’re going to be rich as fuck.”

“If he doesn’t figure out a way to get that clause crossed from the will.” Jimin seems a bit nervous for the first time since he had started talking.

But Jin wasn’t. Not when he had people on his side who would love to make some money as well. Well, more money. He wasn’t friends with poor people.

“Don’t worry about it. You still in contact with Taehyung?” Jimin looks at his older brother with a ‘duh’ face.

“You still have a dick?” Jin’s just rolling his eyes as he calls the first number under ‘Y’.

“What?”

“Hello to you too, Min. Say, you want to become rich?” Yoongi on the other end is snorting before he speaks with his signature lazy drawl.

“I’m already rich, you bitch. But I’m having a down day anyway. Tell me more.”

Jin is smirking towards his brother, his body is buzzing and this is the most excited he;s been a while.

“Meet at my place with the other boys. At 2. Lunch is on me.”

“Yes because I desperately need someone to shout me lunch.” He’s had enough of Yoongi’s sarcasm so he just hangs up.

“Well Jimin, lets go get our billions.” Jimin hands his older brother a glass of whiskey before they make a toast.

“Amen.” Jin furrows his brows again.

“You believe in god now?”

“After seeing Amber’s tits? Yeah.”

“Oh hello there. Eavesdropping were we?” A man is leaning against the wall behind you, hands in his pockets while he looks at you head to toe, two small dimples appearing when he grins rather…. cutely you might add.

“U-Uh, n-no?” The handsome stranger is only shaking his head as he walks towards the door where the two brothers had gone in to only half an hour ago.

“Be careful next time little maid.” You hold in the scoff until he disappears inside the room.

“You guys have better discussed Amber’s ass and nothing else of importance because of the audience outside. The pretty little thing Anders hired.

“How does everyone know his name and not me? You don’t even live here Hoseok.” Jin’s scoffing while Jimin worries about the real problem.

“Fucking hell. The staff in this house is more loyal to our father than their own families. What do we do?”

“Leave that to me. Girls never kiss and tell when they’re with me.” with a wick, Hoseok is settling on the couch as well. “Just transfer me $50 million when you both get the money.”

Oh boy. Being rich was hard.

You were screwed. Or at least it looked like you were. Even though you'd been hired months ago - it was not usual to see the 'house Masters' (that's what Anders had called them anyway so you stuck with it). In fact you could count on one hand how many times you'd seen Kim Seokjin around the mansion. though he didn't live here so that wasn't too surprising at first but you did think that he would at least regularly visit his father. the numerous articles written about this family portrayed them as loyal as you can be to your own blood. What behind closed doors however, was a different story.

The eldest son rarely visited his father and his father, your employer, was even more of a rare sight around the Manor. In the three months you'd worked here, you'd seen Mr. Kim twice. And one of those times was when the annual Christmas dinner was hosted. But even for that, the youngest son, Jimin had not been present. So seeing the new face around the Manor today had confused you very much. But the way his perfectly sculpted features, luscious and shiny - oh god was it shiny - hair had told you that he belonged to this family. How close he was? You weren't sure. Until now.

Now that you'd been caught listening in to the scheming going behind the closed doors. He was the youngest son that was asked about a thousand times at the Christmas dinner and each time both, the father and the son, evaded the questions like experts. He was as handsome as the rest of the family so it didn't surprise you much when you found out his identity. Especially when the future house mistress had been lead in to the room by him, all smiles and charming demeanour. You'd naively thought that the step-mother and son - though she looked too good for her age as all rich people did - had quite a close relationship even though this was the first time you were seeing Master Jimin home. Until the moaning had sounded obnoxiously out in the hallway. Anders had tried his best to get to be anywhere other than cleaning the massive hallway that all the rooms connected to but in the end, you'd gravitated towards the noises. Knowing it was wrong for you to listen but not being able to help yourself. The young master's voice was so melodic, so serene, you were almost forgetting that the said noises weren't as innocent as the emotions they were evoking in you.

Your heart had sped up and your fingers had tugged down your uniform subconsciously at the erotic noises emitting from the room. Imagining yourself to be on the giving end of the scenario playing out in the room. But your fantasies had been broken when you'd hear Anders and Mr. Kim's older son's booming voice coming down the hallway. Quickly ducking back in to one of the rooms you were supposed to start dusting in, you'd only caught glimpse of the incredibly handsome Kim Seokjin reprimanding Anders for making him feel unwelcome in his own home. Though you felt for the poor old man. He was nice and looked after you more than you had expected. And the amount of work he had to see through was incredible and you were amazed at how he never failed to complete each and every one of his tasks. Except keeping Mr. Kim out of the young master's room that is. You'd heard the cheeky tone in Jimin's voice when he'd asked Anders to make sure that no one disturbs them. You'd thought stupidly that maybe they wanted to spend quality time with each other since Jimin was back home after a long time. And they spent quality time alright. The noises were a testament to that.

You were suddenly feeling the nervous butterflies in your stomach at the prospect of Jimin being found out by his older brother. And with his step mother no less. Like youwere the one doing something that scandalous. Craning your neck you'd tried to hear, maybe yelling? You'd assumed - wrongly, again - that the older master Kim would be horrified at finding out the debauchery going on inside the room but all you'd seen was a ruffled Amber - you think that's her name from the moans at least - and then joyous laughter which could only mean the brothers meeting. Rich people were bizarre. Did they not have any morals? Nothing settling uneasy in their conscience?

Not that you were any better because you were plainly eavesdropping and that was not how your mother raised you. Though she didn't raise you that much at all in all honesty. But she was quick to correct your mishaps or seemingly 'dishonest' activities. That was all she did really. Mostly your grandmother raised you until you were kicked out at the ripe age of 18 by your mother to 'find your own way' like her crack addicted self told you. She preached but never practiced her own self-righteous attitude more than when she needed to keep you under control. Though your visit down the memory lane is interrupted when your ears catch on to what the two men inside were talking about. The words 'cocaine' catch your attention - it was your mother's favourite at one point. Listening on further was just pure coincidence. But boy oh boy. What were you hearing? Were they going to possibly.... hurt someone for even more money? How much more could they want? They already had enough of it. You didn't realise the pout that had been on your face while you listened to the two brother calling a friend for some 'help'.

Not until someone was clearing their throat behind you, damn near making you knock your head against the wall you had been absentmindedly wiping for the hundredth time. Initially - for the millisecond of the reaction time you had available - you thought Anders would be the one to catch you and for some reason, you weren't as scared. Hence the sheepish smile on your face when you turn around to face whoever it was that had caught you so blatantly trying to listen to whatever was happening. Though your smile - as well as your heart - drops instantly when you see an unfamiliar face in front of you, yet again. And once again - the stranger is handsome, incredibly so. In fact, the toothy grin he's beaming your way is nearly blinding. His white teeth - definitely not natural, though you wouldn't be surprised if they were - smiling up at you as he leant against the wall besides you. How did you not hear him? His body was lithe and somehow you're not surprised that he snuck up on you so easily. Nonetheless, he did and you were in major trouble. He was good-looking enough for you to figure out that he probably belonged in the two master's circle.

“Oh hello there. Eavesdropping were we?” The man is leaning against the wall behind you, hands in his pockets while he looks at you head to toe, two small dimples appearing when he grins rather…. cutely you might add.

“U-Uh, n-no?” The handsome stranger is only shaking his head as he walks towards the door where the two brothers had gone in to only half an hour ago.

"No! Uh I mean. N-No... that's what I mean." You're hoping the desperation in your eyes gives him a hint that you rather not get in to trouble.

“Be careful next time little maid.” His smirk doesn't dissolve. In fact, it seems to get wider. Most likely being able to tell how hard you're trying to make it seem like you were doing the right thing. Definitely not eavesdropping. The handsome stranger is only shaking his head as he walks towards the door where the two brothers had gone in to only half an hour ago. Still watching you.

But alas, your mind malfunctions and the only thing you can think of is to get out of there. Too many good looking men you've seen to last you a decade. You're scurrying away back to the room you were originally supposed to be in and you can hear his chuckle even as you go further down the hallway to the room.

Slumping against the wall, your hand clutches just above where your heart should be. You were sofired. There was no way that whoever this was would not mention you lurking outside the room. Who was he anyway? Oh well, not that you would get to find out because you were stupidly caught eavesdropping. Eavesdropping! How cliché. It was impossible to focus on your work knowing that you will be in immense trouble. Pacing back and forth, rehearsing excuses and explanations to give Anders on why you were outside of your given area. And caught by a guest no less. From what you'd gathered about the older Kim son - he couldn't care less about your presence in the house.

One time he'd come in the living area, stayed for over two hours without acknowledging that you were even in the room. In fact, when Anders had called out to you to return to lend a hand at the kitchen is when he'd looked up at you as if it was the first time he was hearing a name that wasn't his own. Even then, he'd only looked at you for a mere few seconds before going back to the book he'd been reading.

But the newcomer - or old you guess, you'd only just started working after all - you weren't sure how he'd react to finding out your roaming outside his room. Surely, he would be just as aloof and uncaring of a mere maid as you, right? Maybe not if the handsome stranger told him about how well you'd been listening to the conversation inside. Oh lord. This was the only job that paid enough for you to send home and also keep a roof over your head. What were you going to do? You minded your own business but the one day curiosity got you was when you've been caught. Just your luck. Your mother was right. Your curiosity will be your end. And seems like it will be now as well judging from the sound of the doors opening from the young master's suite and several pairs of footsteps coming towards the room you were in.

Your limbs moving like lightning, making sure each and every one of the vases was picked up and dusted through thoroughly - it's obvious you're trying to look as occupied as possible. A few seconds later, the footsteps stop right outside the room you're in and your heart might as well have stopped pumping blood through your body as well with the way your temperature drops from the impending doom. Had they told on you already? Was Anders also outside the door? If he was alone you could've tried to weasel your way out of such a mishap but you doubt the you could even let out a squeak between the three intimidating men.

To your demise, when the men enter the room - Anders is nowhere to be found. The two brothers and the third stranger who had caught you stand in the doorway looking all too.... nerve-racking (for you). Instantly you know that theyknow how nervous you are. Nervous of losing the only source of income that was enough to sustain you. The older of the two brothers is looking at you up and down, slowly and calculating. Like it's the first time he's seeing you. Someone like you at least. Some who wasn't at the same calibre as he. Even his gaze makes you feel poor. Inferior.

Thought it doesn't seem to be intentional. He was inspecting you like you were an enigma when in reality he was the one clad in all sorts of bling you were sure you would only see in the movies. Being so focused and aware of Seokjin, you'd almost forgotten about the two other men in the room. While the stranger leant against the wall like he had earlier, Jimin had taken a seat on the large sofa a few meters away from you. Crossing his, muscular you might add, thighs. Getting comfortable with one of his arms splayed on the back of the cushions while the other rested on the hand rest - completely at ease. The exact opposite of you. While Seokjin was all curious eyes, Jimin seemed to be looking at you with sly eyes, blatantly checking out your frumpy uniform and the duster in your hand. The smirk you'd seen in the morning still ever present on his face.

Never having been in a room with an attractive man such as Seokjin himself - let alone three - you're about ready to faint.

"Are you boys going to start or shall I?" The stranger spoke first. Voice breezy like they were about to have a conversation about the weather with you.

your eyes must still be opened wide when Jimin speaks up. "Relax Hoseok hyung, let the girl breathe first. You okay sweetheart?"

His saccharine sweet tone instantly soothes some of the nerves and the smile he sends your way, the wrinkles appearing around his round eyes making you feel all warm inside.

"U-Uh, wh-what? Oh I-I'm-" The elder cuts you off however. Seemingly not being able for you to finish up your stuttering. Hm, he definitely wasn't as nice as the other two.

"Anyway, what were you doing outside master Jimin's wing, little one?" The nickname makes your face redder than it was, feeling your blood rush in your head suddenly. Never did you think that the sons of your employer would actually refer to themselves as 'master'. You definitely guessed wrong. At least Jimin hadn't. You reallydid like him better even if he was about to fire you.

And guess what you do next? Sabotage yourself even further of course. Your mouth has no filter when you're nervous because the words come stumbling out before you can stop yourself.

"I heard your plan to get money from your dad!" The words almost sound like a really long, poorly pronounced word. A breath leaves you in a rush like you' been holding it in for a while after your word vomit. "Or w-well I guess.... m-more money."

The last words are whispered almost to yourself but the way the men are now widening their eyes at you - you know they heard every word.

"Excuse me?" The handsome stranger - Hoseok, now you know - fills the defining silence with the most endearing laughter you've heard in your small life-time just as Seokjin's incredulous tone has you shrinking back in to yourself.

"And what do you suppose... you will do with that information, hm?" Jimin slowly gets up from his place on the couch, straitening his dress pants. The Cheshire smirk still upturning the corners of his mouth as he stalks towards you. Slow, with purpose, to undoubtedly make you more nervous than you were feeling surrounded by him and his older brother standing adjacent to you.

"I-I... I won't say a-anything." You're taking a deep breath before you say the next words - gathering all the courage that you were able to. About to do something you never dreamed you would have to. "If you don't f-fire me."

Even though you are outright blackmailing these chaebol brothers and with a witness present, you can't help the frown creasing your forehead at your unethical actions. Who were you blackmailing people that can probably have your existence removed from this earth?! They certainly had enough money for it.

"And if we do fire you, little one?" The screech that leaves your throat at the unexpected closeness of Seokjin as he leans his head down. Close enough that you instinctively take a step back as his deep coal orbs bore in to yours - challenging you to respond.

"I-I-I um," you gulp, looking anywhere but his intense eyes that won't let you breathe. "I'll tell y-your father!"

Your reply is defiant but nowhere near as threatening as you'd wanted it to be. In all honesty, you just want to keep your job. Seokjin's eyebrows shoot upwards at your feigned bravery and the bold claim. How would you even get in touch with his father?

You'd only ever seen him from a distance in person. Here's to hoping they don't call you on your bluff.

"Oh will you now?" His head tilts almost menacingly, still staring right down at you. The arms that come around to wrap themselves around you are purely in instinct. You were out of your depth here and desperately hoping they'd forget about this and ignore you. You were a mere house staff and a very lowly one at that.

Surely they won't fall to your words. This was stupid and you were doomed. You're about ready to apologies when Jimin speaks making your head snap towards him.

"Calm down, brother." His smile is then directed at you. "What's your name darling?"

"Y-Y/n." Your brain was on auto-pilot and you just wanted to be out of trouble.

"Well, y/n, don't worry." Jimin is close enough that you can smell his cologne. It smells heavenly and you almost want to sniff as much as you can to take in the smell while it's there. "Our mouths are barred," head leaning down just as Seokjin had been earlier, "as long as yours is."

Jimin was smooth. Slick and smooth with his hypnotic eyes, euphonious voice and tranquil words making sure you were listening. Comprehending every word. You're nodding along with him - actions a little quivery. Until another thought pops up in your head.

"W-What if h-he dobs me in?" Your head gestures towards Hoseok's animatedly in your nervous state. Completely missing the chuckle that sounds from the accused.

Jimin is biting his bottom lip, holding himself back from flat out laughing in your face probably.

"Don't you worry, sweetheart. We're all bounded in this contract. Deal?" He's nodding at you, prompting you to nod your understanding as well.

Seokjin is still scrutinising you, stepping back now that Jimin had taken over. You glance in Jimin's eyes before nodding once again - much more firmly.

"Excellent. Shall we seal this deal?" He looks around to Hoseok who just gestures with his hand 'as you wish' with a grin similar to Jimin's. It's like they're all communicating in some symbolic language that goes above your head. Seokjin doesn't respond but now stand besides Jimin.

When Jimin is looking back at you, a singular eyebrow raised - you nod as well. "O-Okay."

Hastily, you're wiping your clammy hands on your uniform to bring it forward and shake his hand. That's what he meant right?

The golden haired boy only smirks at your outstretched hand as his gaze falls back to your reluctant face. Your nerves are settling slightly when his arm is making its way to you as well - thanking god above that this was going to be over soon.

Until the said hands bypasses yours waiting to shake his and settles on the wall beside your head and your own eyes watch its descent. Before you can ask any questions or even make sense of what's happening, your head is tilted backwards slightly when a pair of voluptuous lips take their residence on your own. The noise of surprise leaving the back of your throat is the only other heard in the otherwise quiet room. Your hand instinctively going to grab at the arms caging you between them.

Jimin's kiss is all consuming, his lips gently sucking yours in the most unwavering embrace. Embrace is a bit of a stretch. While one hand had squashed any hopes of your escape, the other made it impossible as it held on to your face, caressing your cheek with his thumb as his tongue swiped over your lips. A whimper leaves your mouth when he does so and only a few seconds later, Jimin is pulling away with a wet 'pop' of his lips. His petal soft ones are moist and gently coloured with a natural deep pink.

You're barely breathing, eyes half closed when Hoseok has stepped besides the smirking Jimin.

"What a-"

"We're sealing it with a kiss, Darling. All of us." You felt like you were going to faint. Kissing one of them was this taxing - in the best way with the way the butterflies were going haywire in your tummy - how were you going to kiss all threeof them?

"I- Okay." You sound defeated and overwhelmed but ready to have someone fill the void that was left when Jimin stopped kissing you.

Hoseok has taken Jimin's place, swiftly pushing his head closer to yours, nuzzling your nose with his - an oddly intimate act - before his soft lips push against yours. Your arms have found their way to the top of his chest purely on instinct once more. Needing to hold on to something so your weak knees don't give out beneath you.

His kiss is more delicate than Jimin's. Much softer. Until he pulls back for the first time of course. Only to crash his mouth on to yours with a ferocity you were not expecting. Your hands are itching to tug on the silky strands of his hair but you resist. You're not sure if you should even kiss him back. What were you doing? Kissing strangers. It was a little too late to think about that anyway because there was no plausible reason you could think of at the moment to stopkissing him back.

"That's enough hyung. Let her breathe." Jimin's impish chuckle sounds from the room somewhere just as Hoseok's touch gets dangerously close to the curvature of your breasts.

He breaks away with a dramatic 'chu' as his lips part from yours. Sparkling from how shiny they were from your combined saliva. Jimin was right. You really needed to breathe before you fainted - especially with the way your knees wobbled, trying your best to rest against the wall behind you. Hoseok's eyes are still staring raptly at you, the knowing smirk still ever present. It briefly slips down to your heaving chest and even though the uniform was virtually shapeless - you felt almost naked under his scrutiny.

Evidently, your cheeks are reddening even further as he steps back, your heart skipping several beats and blood pressure spiking shortly after when you realise who was next - Kim Seokjin. Somehow, you'd expected the state of subtle arousal to dissipate to a certain degree. The substantial dislike you'd acquired for his tone whenever addressing you had been pushed to the side as he took his place in front of you. Your eyes lock, heart stopingly striking features making you breathless once again.

He, undoubtedly, intimidated you the most out of all of them. Eyes flicking back and forth between the other men and Seokjin, you're trying not to get nervous with each second that passes. Hoseok had not waited long enough to let the panic rise from deep down and you were thankful for that. Because nervous you was not appropriate. Not at all. But then again nothing about kissing your boss's sons and their friends was appropriate. You were way past that point. He places his hand besides your head, just as the other two had done. Bracing your hands behind you on the wall, you're ready for him to steal your breath away.

What you weren't expecting was the gentle press of lips against your cheek. A surprised gasp leaves past your - very lonely - lips. Trying to hide the disappointment that's trying to claw its way on to your face, you stay very still like moving even just an inch might be catastrophic for you. Just as soon as he kissed you, he's pulling away. You hadn't noticed his other hand that had been just shy of holding your waist - hovering besides it like he was uncertain. Which was a crazy thought to you.

"Nowit's a deal." Jimin speaks up from behind Seokjin. Seokjin's broad shoulders had almost completely blocked your view of the other two men in the room that you had momentarily forgotten about them.

Seokjin moves away just as fast as his little peck on your cheek. Which makes you wonder if you were that indigent to him, this unappealing, that he'd resorted to a little peck on your cheek. This was ridiculous on its own because your perception of reality was so skewed considering the events that had transpired in the past hour. A few hours ago you were getting ready to do your weekly thorough cleaning of the vast left wing - now you were internally pouting at not receiving a kiss from one of the three most handsome men you'd ever laid your eyes on. Not to forget - two out of three were your employers.

The realisation is enough to jolt you out of your thoughts and speculations, looking around at all of them. "I should go."

Your words are shaky, rightfully so with how much physical intimacy you received in the last hour than the last month. Neither of the three men stop surveying your tremulous tip-toeing towards the door, trying to get out of the stifling room that was feeling too small with all the bodies occupying it.

They don't stop you when you're fumbling with the golden doorknob, finally pulling open the door. Though why would this day get any easier for you, right? And what had you done in your previous life to deserve this.... predicament. Standing in front of you, was another man. That's right. Another one. Beautiful, incredibly so. He seems to be just as tall as Jimin, ivory skin with a healthy amount of flush.

"Well, hello... maid." His deep - puzzled voice sends shivers down your spine as you stare Bambi eyed at him. Why were all these men so, comically handsome? He looks just as puzzled as he sounds.

"Ah! Perfect timing Yoongi hyung." The loud, boisterous voice startles you once again, whipping around to face Hoseok while Jimin walks towards the newcomer.

"Is the another one of your role-play threesomes Jimin? Poor thing looks like she's going to cry. Unless you're a professional actress?"

The last question is directed at you as he looks into your eyes, his own lovely face frowning as he inspects your uniform. Before you can answer though, Seokjin is scoffing, taking a seat on the couch once again with the drink in his hand that he'd been pouring earlier.

"Please, I wouldn't be here if that were true. Come, have a seat. She won't cry." He waves his dismissal of you and once again - your face is heating. This time in irritation.

Yoongi just shrugs, eyes still watching you as he sits beside a lounging Seokjin who offers him a drink. "So, what's the little maid doing here?"

Jimin is smirking again as he looks towards his older brother. "Let me explain." he offers.

"Make my friend a drink, little one."

"Pardon?" Seokjin sighs, as if being greatly inconvenienced that he has to elaborate.

"Just because you got a few kisses from us doesn't relieve you of your duties, yes?" His narrowed eyes are condescending but you can't say anything. Because he was right. You were still a maid at their house despite the little stunt they pulled earlier (you were complicit).

"Y-Yes. Of course." Eyes downcast as you make your way to the liquor cabinet, taking out the bottle that Seokjin had previously to pour himself one.

"Wait, you guys kissed your maid?" Yoongi's unbelievable laugh makes the blood rush back in to your cheeks. They were discussing you like you weren't there and it was embarrassing to say the least. Though they definitely out-ranked you on the power spectrum so you doubt they really cared much about your input.

"It was a transaction, nothing much of it."

"Talk about yourself, mine was definitely more than that." Jimin is scoffing but you still hear the smirk in his voice. "Isn't that right, sweetheart?"

You know he's talking to you even if he doesn't know your name yet but you resist the urge to turn around, already too embarrassed at how easily you'd given in to their advances. Wiping your hands down on your uniform again to get rid of the sweat that's been accumulating, you carefully hold the heavy liquor glass. Hoping that it doesn't slip from your clammy hands otherwise you were in a lot more trouble than before.

Hands slightly shaking, you stop right before you reach the couch, bending forward to hand the newest face his glass of whiskey. You hadn't noticed before but all 4 of them had been watching you. Carefully examining your composure and the nervousness pouring off of your frame as you tried to keep your eyes on the glass. You make the mistake of glancing up at Yoongi and almost drop the glass like you'd been trying to avoid. Thankfully, he mercifully takes it from you - eyes still watching as he takes a sip.

"Sorry! Sorry..."

"That's okay little one. What's your name?"

"Wait yeah. we never asked her name." Hoseok muses from the opposite couch he's sitting on and Yoongi scoffs at them all again. But they did? Did they really forget my name already?

"Really now?" He's shaking his head mumbling 'egocentric fools' before his eyes turn back to you. "Go on."

Taking a deep breath. Wondering if you should give your real name or a fake one this time in case they try to have you fired when you're gone. You decide to be brave and tell them your name. Again.

"Y/n." No stuttering, thank god.

"How long have you been working here y/n? I would remember a pretty face like yours." Yoongi's tone is light, not flirty like his words suggested. He seemed like a person who just talked this way - complimenting people he deemed worthy of them.

"Three- Three and a half months now." Your voice gets quieter the longer your sentence goes on. The blush on your face is now permanent because of how intently all of them seem to be looking at you. you also need to fight the urge to shuffle your feet around like you were on trial for something bad you did and they were the judge and the jury. In a sense you guess that they were because you wouldn't be here otherwise.

"Hm. Somehow I'm seeing you for the first time today." You bite you tongue, wincing lightly at your own strength but you had to. Otherwise you would go on a tangent about how he really rarely looked at the staff in his own home. Seokjin just annoyed you! Biting on your lip - a nervous habit - you contemplate whether you should ask if you can go.

You were soclose before.

"Please, hyung. You would've if you stopped admiring yourself every chance you got." Jimin mocks his older brother.

"Not my fault I look like this." Seokjin is gesturing to himself like it's a great burden being that good looking. Then again you don't know. It could be.

"Settle down children." Yoongi rolls his eyes at the two brother bickering, checking his gold toned Rolex before speaking again, "so, what's this scheme I’ve been summoned for? Spit it out."

"That'll be all y/n." Jimin's charming smile is directed at you all of a sudden when Yoongi mentions the dreaded plan that you'd overheard. Nonetheless, the way your name slips off his tongue sends a small shiver down your spine, nodding at him before staggering towards the door.

"Don't forget our deal, little one." You can hear Hoseok snickering when Jimin calls out behind your retrieving figure.

Knees almost knocking into each other when you're outside the room, you let out the biggest breath that you were once again, unwarily holding. What had you gotten yourself in to?

Everything was coming crashing down onto your psyche. The gravity of the situation was settling on you and you could feel the hyperventilation lurking nearby. These were not just normal everyday people who happen to have more money than you. The Kim family was affluent and prominent. They didn't follow the normal dynamics of society like all the other wealthy and rich in this country. They made the rules that they wantedto follow. Remembering the incident from when you'd just started working here, you could feel your heart drop down to your toes.

It was your second week on the job and your timorous nature was taking a back seat slowly - getting a hang of your duties. Anders was kind and let you settle in and perhaps because you were just as old as his granddaughter he'd told you about. Minhyuk - another staff member that you'd seen around the Manor and quite honestly developed a small crush on - had been showing you the east wing and what your duties included. You didn't have much to do there as it was Mr Kim's quarters, including his study and office where he worked once in a while. Not everyone had access to that area of the house and you figured it was because of his work. maybe he was really particular about the way things were done. You just didn't think much of it.

"You will always be given your schedule of the type and duration of cleaning required the day before when it comes to Master Kim's rooms so please take note of that."

He smiles sweetly as he shows you around. The notepad in your hand, you're diligently taking notes because you did not want to risk leaving all of this new information to your forgetful nature. You swear you hear him mumble 'cute' when he's watching you but the sound of heels clicking on the marble floors distract you both. When you look up - your jaw is almost dropping to the floor. You's seen Mr Kim's partner a fair few times - on the news that is. In person she was even more... unreal. Tall, thin with equally bright and big bone structure. It didn't phase you when you learnt that she was indeed - a model.

"Good morning Am- Ms King!" Her pearly whites make a small appearance before she curls her lips in an almost sensual smile.

"Good morning Minhyuk. Who is this?" She doesn't spare you a glance when she questions, fingers lingering on his shoulder as she leans in a little close to him.

The blush lettering Minhyuk's cheek tells you that this isn't the first time she's been this close to him. He introduces you as the newest staff addition but she doesn't seem to be listening. What she does though is start to question him about his weekend. Making him almost forget that you're there. What does capture your attention meanwhile is the slight rustle - as if someone had walked away from around the corner. You're only able to catch the colour black and a suit comes to mind automatically.

"Everything alright y/n?" Minhyuk's voice makes you whip your head around back to him and you catch Ms King watching you as well.

"I-I just thought I saw someone." Ms King frowns at that.

"That must be Ryuk. Excuse me." She just smiles - one that doesn't reach her eyes as she steps away. Ryuk?

Sensing your confusion, Minhyuk answers your unanswered question. "That's Mr. Kim. His first name is Ryuk. Weird right?"

You just chuckle along with him - completely missing the underlying panicked tone. He continues the tour but after your run-in with Mr Kim's fiancé, he seems to be on edge.

The next day at work - Minhyuk is nowhere to be seen. Not the next day either. Then never again. A month later - you receive your new duties in the east wing. Minhyuk's designated area.

"Excuse me sir," Anders looks up from the sheets of paper he'd been handing out to the rest of the staff, "Isn't it M-Minhyuk's area? Am I temporarily-"

He doesn't let you finish. "He doesn't work here anymore dear. These will be your permanent duties until further notice."

Your heart clenches at his direct tone. He only spoke like this to you on your first day at work. He doesn't elaborate any further and you get the hint to not further question the change in staff.

You don't see Minhyuk again.

How were you so asinine that you didn't connect the dots before? Minhyuk's panic as he'd shown you to your duties after Mr Kim had possibly seen you three chatting with his Fiancé, him getting replaced - fired? - with you. He was simply removed from the Manor and you'd never heard his name from any of the other staff members either. It's like he never worked there. You were rapidly fading down the doomed rabbit hole. Already thinking of about a hundred ways Mr Kim's sons could have you disposed of. Maybe you were thinking too much? Not possible. With this family, anything was possible.

The tear that falls down your face has you bringing your cold hand up to your hot cheeks. Foolishly, you've forgotten to go much further away from the room you'd exited from. The panic clouding your senses as you fished for your phone from your pocket, hastily dialling your grandmother's house phone.

A few rings later, you hear your mother's annoyed tone. "H-hello Mama."

Her tone turns sickly sweet, dishonest you know but you try to trick your heart and your brain in to believing her concern. "Hi dear! Haven't heard from you in so long. Are you not at work?"

Her tone turns serious and worried instantly at the prospect of you not being at work. You also want to tell her that you called every two days after work but she never wanted to speak to you unless it was payday. But that doesn't hurt you nearly as much as her not even being remotely entered in your wellbeing.

"I am at work. Could you... could you put Nana on the phone please?"

"Um. Okay." That's it. your voice is cracking and you know she can hear you but she doesn't care enough to ask.

"Hello? y/n?"

"Nana." whimpering, you try to not burst out crying. Keeping the intense emotions at bay.

"What's wrong dear? Are you alright?" Hearing her perturbed tone at your distressed one only makes the tears fall quicker, making you slap them away so they don't blur your vision completely.

"Nana... I might be in trouble. I-I might get..." fired. You couldn't say it. Once you let her know you were a hundred percent sure your mother would be incessant in having her spill the bad news. She would make your grandmother's life hell and you couldn't do that to her. Your mother needed the steady money to keep her in rehab. You had hopes that since she was at least going to rehab - that one day she could be a good mother to you.

"What dear? You can tell me y/n." Pushing your hand over your mouth, you try and swallow the sob before it passes through the phone. Though you could already hear your mother asking your Nana what was going on.

"Be quiet Elizabeth! I'll tell you."

"I-I'm okay. I just miss you." You could do this. your grandmother didn't deserve this. No one deserved this just because you made a foolish mistake and you hope she doesn't question you further.

"We miss you too dear. So much. Will you be able to visit soon? Let her get back to work Ma." Your mother sounded angry and you wanted to scream at her through the phone that at least your grandmother cared.

"I'll let you know. I have to go now Nana. I love you."

"I love you too darling. So much." She stays on the line for a few more moments. Making sure you didn't want to say anything else.

Dropping your head down in your lap - you let the last few stray tears fall, trying to stay as quiet as possible. You needed to pull it together. Your family was counting on you to keep this job and you were going to fight for it. Even if you were several outnumbered. You had their secret and that should count for something, right? As long as you appeared strong in front of them - maybe they'll leave you alone.

Dusting off your uniform, wiping away at your face and checking it in the nearest grand mirror on the wall - you get to work. You still had a job.

What you domiss though, is the man who had witnessed your panicked tears. He hadn't expected himself to be this affected but the way his heart clenched and his hands curled into fists at your disturbed state - he'd never wanted to comfort someone this badly. Empathy. A foreign emotion indeed.

#bts #bts smut #bts x reader #bts fanfction #jimin x reader #jin x reader #jhope x reader #yoongi x reader #hobiwonder #lmk what you think #:)

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babybuckleydiaz · 4 years

Note

Can you write something where Buck deals with all the trauma that came from the thoughtst of losing his family. Like he thought he lost Chris in the tsunami, then he thought he is gonna lose Bobby bc he is gonna get ill, then Maddie when the dispatch center was taken,and finally he thought he was gonna lose Eddie too. And it was just all too much and he started falling apart but firefam notices and helps him through

Warnings: swearing, insomnia, mentions of the therapist from season one, nightmares, spoilers. established buddie, hurt comfort.

Okay, so it’s currently 4am and I’ve finally finished this after so long. It’s a long one, my guys. Its about 6k words long. And I’m not happy with some of it, but I haven’t posted a prompt fill in ages so I really wanted to get this out. I really did enjoy writing it though, in more of a 5 +1 style. So, thank you so much for the prompts and I am so sorry if it’s not at all what you wanted, but I really hope that you like it. Thank you so much for reading, guys

also on ao3, since this is a long fic

BOBBY

“Hey, kid. Go get some rest.” When the order comes, Bobby voice is nothing but gentle and concerned with a hand resting on Buck’s shoulder, eyes searching the younger’s man face with something akin to worry. The team wasn’t even half way through a twenty four hour shift, and today has been nothing but exhausting call after exhausting call; it was obvious to even the untrained eye that the younger firefighter was overflowing with a bone deep tiredness. And for a moment, Bobby thinks that Buck is going to agree with him and do as is asked; but all he receives is a small shake of the head.

“Nah, Cap. I’m not tired.” The excuse is weak to even Buck’s ears, and it’s obvious by the raised eyebrow that he gets that Bobby doesn’t believe a word that he is saying; the worry growing tenfold. The circles under Buck’s eyes are dark and deep, movements still as his limbs screamed for a moment of anything similar to rest; mind already having gone into overdrive. “I slept earlier.” Bobby isn’t stupid, he’s far from it, and he’s able to see exactly what the younger man is doing. Buck knows that Bobby is able to read him easily, can see when he’s lying but he’s giving his Captain a chance to just forget about this conversation and sweep it under the rug. No way in hell was Bobby going to do that though, not when it would put lives, including Buck’s own, in risk by allowing an exhausted firefighter on the front line.

“We both know that’s bullshit, son.” Bluntly expressed Bobby, and he sees how Buck’s shoulder’s sag and his entire body seems to deflate at the breath of laughter that escapes his lips. “Talk to me, Buck. What’s going on?” Buck looks up from where he had shifted his attention to the ground, and he’s searching Bobby face for any sign that he doesn’t mean to concern that is obvious in his voice when he speaks. But he finds nothing but worry on the face of his Captain, but he shakes his head as he paints a sad and small smile across his face.

“Its fine, Bobby. I’m fine, don’t worry about me.”

Bobby wasn’t going to let it go because he could see as clear as day that whatever was going on in Buck’s head was affecting him, and as someone who loves the kid like family he can’t allow him to continue like this. “It’s a bit late for that, kiddo. You’re family and I’m always going to worry.” Explained Bobby in a tone that he didn’t regret letting this firehouse become a home, that he loved being able to come into work and being around people he loved and he knew loved him. And he worried about each and every one of them; nothing would or could ever change that. It was his job, as a Captain and as a friend to each of them.

“It’s stupid; I’m gonna go take that nap.” But Bobby could see straight through the lie that Buck had just told, that the younger man wouldn’t sleep and would instead be staring at the ceiling until the alarm blared through the firehouse. “Buck…” Bobby didn’t want to drop the conversation when something was obviously wrong, but he knew that if he kept pushing that Buck could completely close off; and that was something that he didn’t want to happen. “Look, Bobby.” Began the younger man, an understanding yet strained smile on his face, and Bobby misses the ones where Buck smiles as brightly as the sun.

“I know you’re concern, and I appreciate it, but I’m okay. I’m dealing with it.”

Bobby had no idea what ‘it’ would even begin to be, but whatever it was, it was clear to see that Buck wasn’t dealing with it at all; at least not in a way that could be considered healthy. Bobby was certain that even a blind man would be able to see that Buck was struggling with whatever was going on in that head of his. And the older man won’t lie, it’s killing him to know that Buck feels as though this is something he can’t get help for, that he feels like he has to bury and pretend that it isn’t there. “You’re not dealing with anything, son.”

Buck freezes as he sighs, because Bobby’s tone isn’t even remotely judgemental or annoyed at the brick wall he’s seemed to hit in this conversation; instead it filled with an understanding and worry for the younger man. There’s nothing but silence between the two men for a moment, Bobby praying to anyone who would listen that the man in front of him would reach out for the help that he so obviously needed but wasn’t going to seek out on his own. “I’ll be fine, Cap.” And when Buck had spoken his tone was tired, sounded far too wrecked for someone of his age but Bobby can’t blame him, because Buck has seen far too much and been through more in his short life.

“Just…” Bobby begins, pausing and allowing his voice to trail off for a moment as he thinks about what to say, what could he possibly say anyway to help the man he loved as his own son? “Just try and get some sleep, please?” It what he settles on, because there isn’t much he can do when Buck won’t open up to him, but the most he can do is allow the kid to know that he cares and he’s in his corner should the younger man need him. And Buck can understand what he means through the words, Bobby can tell. Because the smile that Buck sends him may be small and tired, but it’s real and shows his appreciation for what his Captain was trying to achieve here.

“Sure thing, boss.”

Watching him go, Bobby doesn’t even bothering admitting to the younger man that he can tell Buck wasn’t going to even begin to try and allow his mind the peacefulness of rest; he remains silent. “Damn it, kid.” Bobby curses silently, wishing that there had been something more he could have done or said that would have allowed the kid to feel as though he could share whatever was troubling him.

Because whatever that was bothering the firefighter was drowning him, and it’s was clear to the captain that Buck was struggling to stay afloat of his own thoughts; they we’re ruining him. Briefly, Bobby finds himself wondering if Athena would have had any more luck had she been in this conversation, if anyone else would have gotten the other man to open up and share what was holding him down.

HEN

“Come on, man. Talk to me.” There’s a pleading done in Hen’s voice when she speaks, taking the time to wait for a moment where it could just be her and Buck alone. They’re currently in front of their fire truck, restocking the medical supply when Hen decides that she’s finally try and get to the bottom of whatever was weighing the younger man down. In response to what had been said, Buck just sighs as he stops whatever he is doing, placing the bandages that he had in his hand onto the truck; barely looking at Hen when he faces her.

“There’s nothing to talk about, Hen.” That’s a lie, and Hen knows that Buck is aware that she isn’t dumb nor would she fall for what he had said to her. “I’m perfectly fine.” He added on, seeing her disbelieving look when he finally raises his head to meet her eyes, giving her a smile that would convince anyone who didn’t know him as well as she did. Buck is her best friend, someone that means the world to her and she was able to read the younger man like an open book without ever really trying. “I’m not blind, Buck. I know you, and I can see something is killing you, man.” She explained in a tone softer that what she would usually use, but this is serious and Hen wants Buck to know that he can talk to her about anything plaguing his troubled mind.

“Hen, I’m fine. I don’t need to make everything about me.”

That silences Hen for a moment as she frowns deeply at the other man standing in front of her, because there was more meaning behind his words that what Buck was even aware of. And all Hen can think about is the number of times people have accused Buck of making everything about himself; and how fucking wrong they were to event think that.

But Buck is allowed to be selfish, to do things simply because he wants them for himself. There is nothing wrong with that and it’s so perfectly human of him to do for once. She inwardly winces; because the last time Buck had done something to benefit him had been when he filed the lawsuit; something she strongly sided with him about. He was being kept from his job and he had every single right to fight like damn hell to get back to it. “It’s not selfish to unburden yourself by talking to a friend.” Responds Hen, not really knowing what else she could have said to try and get her point across.

“Look Buck, I love you.” She adds on, stepping forward and reaching out to take one of Buck’s hands tightly within her own, not mentioning that she can feel them tremble in her grip. “And I know that something is going on, okay? And I want to help you because you’re my family.” Buck is looking at her now, the faintest trace of a frown on his brows as he bites into his lower lip in thought. “I want to help you because I love you so much.” She concluded gently, an encouraging smile gracing her face as she pulls her friend into a hug.

She can feel how Buck seems to melt into her touch, body completely sagging as he wraps arms around her in response to the action.

“I-I’m fine.” And this time when he says it, Hen can see that he is talking to himself instead of her; forcing himself to believe it the more that he said it. “You’re not, and you’re allowed to not be okay.” Whispered Hen, something that only Buck could hear because it was meant for his ears only. “And it’s okay to ask for help, to reach out to someone else.” Buck nods against her shoulder, sighing as he pulls away from the safety of his friend’s arms and gives Hen the tiniest and saddest smile she has ever seen on his face.

“It’s just… I-“ Shaking his head and laughing something humourless, reaching up to rub angrily at his eyes when he felt tears burn in them, he stops himself speaking.

“I’m scared.” Buck’s voice sounds so broken at his own admission, choked up and small. Hen looks at him then, really looks at him and sees the tears in his eyes and the trembling of his hands. “Scared? Of what, Buckaroo?” She pries patiently, her words free of judgement and waiting for Buck to gather his own thoughts. But Buck stays silent for a while, for a long moment that Hen thinks he’s going to clam up and brush off his own declining mental health like he’s being doing for so long now. But still, Hen waits.

Buck Hen never gets to hear what Buck as going to say when he opens his mouth to speak, because it’s in that moment that the alarms decide to sound, jolting the both of them out of their moment. “Forget it, I’m fine.” Buck quickly brushes off, closing up the truck against and making his way towards his turnout uniform with hurried steps, and Hen can’t help but curse every God in existence for that. She knows that had been the only chance she had for Buck to talk to her, and that moment had been taken away before she could get any answers.

“Fuck!” She hisses angrily, the annoyance on her face as she runs up to get prepared as well while thinking about what Buck was going to admit; what would he be scared of?

CHIMNEY

“Hey, did you get any sleep?” The concern is clear in Chimney’s voice when he sits up in his bunk, eyes having gone straight to Buck’s and seeing the man in the same position as hours ago. On his back, arms behind his head and eyes staring at the ceiling but unseeing; the clear need for sleep written all over his face despite it all. And it worries him, because it’s clear that the man he loves like a little brother is struggling and suffering; and despite his nature of jest and laughter, Chimney found himself so concerned.

At the sound of the sudden whisper, being mindful of the still sleeping Hen and Eddie, Buck shifts his eyes to find Chimney looking at him with a deep frown. Shrugging his shoulders, Buck pushes himself into a sitting position, running a hand down his face and through his hair. “I don’t know, I don’t think so.” Frowning deeply at what had been his answer, Chimney moves to sit on the vacant space on Buck’s bunk; wanting to talk about this while he had the chance. “Hey, what’s going on? What do you mean, you don’t know?” Chimney presses, unsure if he’s asking as a friend or as a paramedic concerned about someone’s health. He doesn’t know, maybe it could be both.

“I dozed off, I think. But I just… can’t sleep.” There’s more to it than that, Chimney is well aware. But for now, he’s going to work with the information that Buck is giving him and dig a little deeper to try and find some more. “Come on, kid. Talk to dear old big brother Chimney.” The older man smiled, and he feels some little sentiment of relief when Buck snorts at his joke and rolls his eyes with something akin to a happy expression. “Oh shut up, man.” Responds the younger, leaning over and shoving his friend on the shoulder that Chimney barely reacts to, because now that he’s looking at his friend he sees the thinks that Hen had been talking about.

Buck looks absolutely exhausted, skin paler than normal with permanently tired eyes and dark circles to match.

“Jeez, buckaroo. When what the last time you actually slept?” And just like that, Buck’s smile drops from his face and instead is replaced with a deep straight line; the younger man sighing as he shakes his head. “Honestly? I have no fucking clue.” Buck’s honest, it’s clear that he’s tired of struggling with whatever is going on in that big old head of his. “I… I’ve tried! But I can’t sleep because every single night is filled with fucking nightmares, Chim.” Chimney nods his head to show that he is listening, wants Buck to see that he can talk and someone will take in what he is saying.

“What about? It might help to talk about them.” He offers, being the ear for Buck to rant in if that’s what he needs to feel better. Buck smiles softly as he leans back against the wall, letting his head fall back against it as he takes a deep breath. “Losing everyone.”

That throws Chimney into complete silence, and he isn’t ashamed to admit that the tone in Buck’s voice breaks his heart right in two. Because he sounds so lost and so small, and in that moment all Chimney wants to do is wrap him up and make sure that nothing can ever hurt him. “Sometimes, it’s Bobby being sick. Or you’re stabbing. Or the rebar incident.” Whispers Buck, not looking at Chimney when he speaks now, head tipped back against the wall and eyes shut when he speaks. “Or… Or it’s Eddie stuck under the ground, a-and I can’t save him.” When Buck mentions Eddie, Chimney doesn’t seem fazed or even mention how Buck’s voice cracks.

He watches as Buck instead turns his head to look at his boyfriend asleep on the other bunk, and it’s obvious that he’s taking in the fact that Eddie is still breathing and beside him. “Chris gets taken away from me in those, and… and I can’t lose you guys.” Buck pauses as he looks back at his friend. “Or when Doug took Maddie, that fear that she’s going to die is constantly replaying in my head.”

Chimney now finally understands what has been troubling his friend, that he’s being drowned by the memories of almost losing those that he loved. Briefly, Chimney wonders if that is something that should have been obvious to the team from the start. Chimney is quiet for a moment as he leans forward, placing a hand on Buck’s knee and looking his friend in the eyes with an encouraging smile. “Hey, you’re not going to lose any of us. You’re not going to be alone.” The tone that Chimney uses is confident when he speaks, because he knows that everyone here would never leave each other if they could help it.

“You can’t promise that, though!” Harshly whispered Buck and Chimney can see that it isn’t anger that he’s speaking with, it’s fear and desperation that causes his eyes to fill with tears. And Chimney remains silent as he thinks about what to say to Buck’s outburst, because he can’t promise that with the job that they have and the dangers that come hand in hand with it.

“Look, it’s fine. Forget I said anything.” Buck quickly brushes off when Chimney remains silent, knowing that the older man doesn’t know what he can say right now. Pushing himself up, Buck gets up from the bunk with the intention to do something else to distract his own mind. “Buck, wait. Talk to me, man. You can’t keep burying this hoping it will go away.” Chimney pleads, not wanting Buck to bury an issue like this and pretends that something is eating him alive; his friend is in mental pain and he doesn’t know what he can do to help right now. “Chim, don’t. I’m fine, I’m always fucking fine.” Once again, Chimney can’t sense nor hear any anger when he speaks despite sounding like it’s there, and that is enough to make his heart clench to painfully in his chest.

He can only sit there, watching Buck walk away from him with a sad and worried expression.

MADDIE

“Oh Ev…” Maddie voice is so quiet when he walks into her living room, finding her little brother asleep on the couch, wrapped so tightly under blankets she gave him. She notes that he doesn’t look peaceful either, his face scrunched up as he pants out roughly, hands tightly gripping the blanket as he makes a something akin to a whimper of fear. Quickly, she moves over and kneels beside the couch as he places a hand on her little brother’s shoulder, waking him up from whatever nightmare he finds himself trapped in.

“Hey, Buck. You gotta wake up, buddy.” She instructs softly, shaking the younger man’s shoulders with a frown of her own; hearing Buck mumble something out but not being able to understand what he’s saying. He sounds scared though, so scared that it breaks Maddie’s chest to hear such a tone come from someone who everyone sees as so strong. And he is, oh god is he so strong and brave, but he’s also human. “Come on, you’re okay. You gotta wake up, Buck.” She insists, shaking Buck’s shoulder just that little bit harder when he doesn’t respond to anything that she tells him. Maddie doesn’t want to scare him into waking up, not when he was already trapped in a nightmare that seemed to be doing that just fine on its own.

With a gasp, Maddie watches as Buck bolts up right with drastic breaths and eyes wildly looking around his surroundings. “Hey, hey, hey. You’re okay, you’re with me. You’re okay.” She sooths, moving forward and cupping either side of Buck’s face with hands so gentle, Buck’s eyes snapping to his sister’s face. “I though… I-“ Maddie is never going to hear whatever Buck was going to say, but he cuts himself off with the shake of his head as he puts a hand against his chest, taking deep and calming breaths to sooth his racing heart.

“Sorry, I’m good.” Buck quickly brushes off, sending his sister a shaky smile as he moves away from her touch and swings his legs over the edge of the couch, laughing at himself pathetically. Maddie shakes her head, having no idea why her little brother would apologize for having a nightmare; that’s not something that he needs to be sorry about. “Hey, don’t apologise, Buck. Are you okay, that seemed pretty bad?” Notes Maddie, brows pinches together as she pushes herself up from the ground and takes a seat beside her brother.

“Hey, I didn’t wake up screaming, so that’s pretty tame.” Buck says it as a joke to lighten the mood, but instead Maddie just cocks her head when he looks at him for a moment. “Wake up screaming?” She questions, and Buck can’t help but groan for making her more worried than what she already was. “Does that happen often, Buck?” Shaking his head, Buck pushes himself up from the couch and makes his way into the kitchen to get a glass of water, already prepared for Maddie to follow him with questions and concerns she won’t let go of. “Evan, talk to me.” Maddie begs when she does, in fact, follow her brother into the kitchen; not wanting to let this conversation die just yet.

“Mads, I’m fine. Just drop it, please.” Buck’s voice is pleading, begging, for her to just drop the subject but he’s known Maddie his whole life and knows how stubborn she can be. He inwardly snorts, that’s the one trait that she ever got from their father. “No, I’m not gonna drop it, Evan. I’ve watched for weeks as something has bothered you, I can’t keep letting you pretend that nothing is wrong.” She shoots back, and Buck sighs as he places the glass back onto the bench and leans forward, taking a moment to just breath. “I’m here, okay? And I’m not leaving, Evan. So talk to me.”

“But you’re not always gonna be here, Maddie!” Buck isn’t entirely sure what he means when he yells those words, turning around to face Maddie who looks shocked and taken aback. “I-I’m not leaving, Evan. I’m not leaving you again.” She promises, and Buck just shakes his head quickly as he reaches up to run a hand through his hair, scratching at the back of his head for a moment. “You can’t promise that, though! You can’t promise that you’re always gonna be here!” Maddie is silent for a moment, knowing that Buck is talking about when they were growing up and left for college, or when she left after meeting Doug; there’s more to what he’s saying.

“So what is the point of any of you saying that you’ll always be here when the reality is you can’t promise that?” Maddie can see the tears trailing down her brother’s face, that he angrily scrubs away with a scoff. “I am so sick of fucking crying!” He hisses to himself, beyond worked up and stressed about whatever has been bothering him for the last few weeks.

“And I am sick of not sleeping because every time I close my eyes, I’m losing you or someone from the team. Or Eddie and Chris. I am so fucking sick that I can’t just ‘get over it’” When Buck utters those last three words, Maddie notes the use of quotation marks with a frown; it’s obvious that they have another meaning to Buck when he says them. “Evan, how long has this been going on?” Maddie questions, tears burning in her own eyes at the thought of her brother suffering so terribly alone. “Why haven’t you told anyone?” Maddie jumps onto the next question when Buck just shrugs when his arms crossed over his chest, leaning back against the kitchen sink.

“Because, Maddie, I’m getting over it my own way, I’m fine.” He says once again, wondering how many times he’s said that in the past few weeks; and he’s wondering why he can’t force himself to believe it yet.

“You’re not dealing with it, though. And you don’t need to deal with it on your own.” Maddie’s voice is soft when she speaks again, and Buck doesn’t even respond to what he had said. “You’re hoping that if you keep saying you’re okay then it’ll come true.”

“Look I gotta go.” That is how that Maddie knows she’s hit the nail on the head, because Buck just does what he can to get out of the conversation; running away from his own problems so they won’t hurt him. And it causes her to sigh, because when Buck doesn’t think she’s knows she’s hit a dead end and Buck isn’t going to open up any more; despite how much she wishes that he would. “Just…” Maddie allows herself to pauses, because no matter what she says next Buck isn’t going to admit anything else, he’s done with this conversation. “Just drive safely, and text me when you get home.”

Buck nods his head as he grabs his jacket from where it was sitting on the kitchen island and his shoes before he allows Maddie to pull him into a tight hug, allowing her to hold him for a few moments longer than normal. “I love you, Evan.” She says gently in his ear, pulling away and taking a moment to place a hand on the side of his face; smiling so sadly up at her brother. “Love you, too.” Buck says back, and then Maddie can only watch as her brother walks out the door; a frown on her face the entire time that she watches him go.

EDDIE

Riddled with sleep, Eddie reaches out to pull Buck’s body closer to his own only for his hands to be met with the cold sheet on the mattress, lacking a certain someone. Opening his eyes tiredly, Edie looks over to see that Buck’s side of the bed is empty and has been for a while, causing the older male to frown in confusion. Groaning as he rolled over, and he looks at the clock that reads three in the morning, far too early for anyone to be up yet. Sighing, Eddie pushes himself up from the bed and begins his trek down the hall, searching for his boyfriend.

The first place that Eddie thinks to check is the living room, having found Buck there a handful of times in the past when the younger male wasn’t able to sleep; watching whatever was on to distract himself. But when he reaches the room, he’s greeted with the darkness and quietness that shows it’s empty, not even able to make out Buck asleep on the couch. It’s obvious he’s in here and for a moment Eddie frowns, he had really expected his boyfriend to be in here watching television. Biting into his lip, Eddie makes his way into the kitchen in hopes that his boyfriend would be in there, only to be once again proven wrong by no sign of Buck.

For a moment, Eddie stands in the dark kitchen confused because he doesn’t have that many options left as to where Buck could be; and he can’t help but be worried.

The firefighter is about to make his way back into the bedroom so he could retrieve his phone and call his boyfriend, only for something to catch his eyes when he begins to walk. He looks over to the direction of the front door and sees it slightly open, the outdoor light flicked on, and he makes his way towards the direction with a frown.

Opening the door, he sees that Buck is sitting on the steps with a jacket wrapped tightly around his body, hands wrapped around a mug of coffee as he takes calming deep breaths. “Buck? What are you doing out here, baby?” He questions as he moves to sit down on the steps beside his boyfriend and wraps arm around the younger man’s shoulder to bring him closer to his chest. Buck doesn’t hesitate to lean his head on Eddie’s shoulder and close his eyes, soaking in the comforting that his partner brings him.

“Woke up an hour ago, couldn’t get back to sleep.” Simply explains Buck, and Eddie can hear the tiredness that drags down Buck’s voice, can hear the roughness in it. “Nightmare?” The older man questions with a light tone, soaking in the cool night air as he holds his loved one close to his body; everything around them is calm and quiet.

“Mhm.” Is the only confirmation that Buck gives Eddie, the way his response sounded was clear that he didn’t want to talk about his nightmare, and Eddie wasn’t going to pressure him into talking if he didn’t wish to. So he allows them to just sit there in silence, knowing that if Buck wants to talk about his nightmare than his boyfriend was here to listen to him. But Eddie was going to allow his partner to deal with this at his own pace right now, the most he can do and is just be by his side to comfort him.

“Come on, sweetheart. Let’s head back to bed.” Eddie voices up a few minutes later, looking down and pressing a soft kiss to Buck’s head and waiting for his boyfriend to nod in response. “Okay.” Is the worded answer he gets, but neither of them move for a short moment. Finally, Eddie is the first to move and pulls Buck to his feet by his hands. Eddie smiles when he pulls Buck’s body against his own, pressing a kiss to his boyfriend’s lips when the younger man wraps one arm around his neck and the other gripping the front of his shirt.

Eventually the two make their way into the house, Eddie keeping Buck’s hand tightly within his own as he takes a second to close and lock the front door before they make their way down into the bedroom. On the way, Eddie looks back when he feels how Buck pauses in front of Christopher’s door, biting into his lower lip before sighing and shaking his head to himself. He’s about to walk forward toward their bedroom when Eddie stops him, sending his boyfriend a knowing look as stopping him from walking away. “You wanna check on Chris?” Buck only hesitates for a moment, biting into his lower lip before he nods his head and smiles at his boyfriend gratefully.

Eddie had guessed when Buck had stopped in front of Christopher’s door that his boyfriend must have had a nightmare about the Tsunami, and he knew that checking on the young boy would help Buck a lot. Eddie can’t even count the number of times he’s found Buck in Christopher’s room, just making sure that the kid was really here after having a nightmare about the Tsunami; it would always help to just make sure that Christopher really was here and safe. “Alright, we can do that.” Eddie says, quietly opening the door and allowing Buck to poke his head into the room.

The reaction is instant, Eddie watches as Buck’s body seems to melt as the stress and worry leaves his body at the sight of Christopher sleeping soundly, and safe, in his bed. “Come on, you need to get some sleep, love.” Eddie’s voice is filled with nothing but love and patient as he directs the younger man out of the room, Buck following his boyfriend after him without a word.

Eddie lays down first, allowing Buck to take his time as he crawls into the bed; taking his place curled up against the short of the two men. Eddie lets Buck rest his head against his chest, using the hand of the arm holding Buck to run fingers through his hair, his other hand rubbing up and down Buck’s arm.

“I’m sick of not being able to sleep, Eds.” Buck suddenly speaks up, and all Eddie can do is holding him just that little bit tighter and closer. “I know, love. I know.” Whispers the older man, because this was a conversation that needed to be have tomorrow, when both of them were more aware and awake. “For now, just close your eyes and listen to my breathing, okay?” Eddie instructs, feeling the younger man nod his head against his chest when the other man moved to lie on his back. “Match my breathing, close your eyes and take some deep breaths.” Eddie’s voice is extremely soothing, and Buck allows himself to close his eyes as he does as is asked of him; taking deep breaths that matches Eddie’s own.

It takes a while for Buck to be soothed off to sleep, but Eddie doesn’t fall asleep until he feels Buck’s breathing even out and his body sags against him.

While Eddie wishes that he could have spoken to Buck about everything that’s been going on but he knows that Buck needs all the sleep he can get. So for now, he forgets about everything that he wants to talk about and allows himself to follow his boyfriend to sleep.

EVERYONE

Athena had been expecting something like this to happen sooner or later, because every time that she saw Buck she could see that the young man was one step closer to just breaking down. And even though the woman had expected it to happen, it doesn’t mean that it didn’t break her heart when she watches Buck sob onto the decking of her backyard.

The day had started off so nicely, the team being invited over to the Nash-Grant household for a bi-weekly dinner; and everything had been wonderful. And Athena can’t be sure what had started it, or why it was even a conversation. But they were talking about their near death experiences, the entire time Buck had been silent and seemed to have zoned out while everyone jokes and laughed about it. That had been followed by Buck excusing himself as tears slid down his cheeks, only making it to the decking before he had burst into a fit of sobs.

Everyone seemed to freeze in shock and surprise while Bobby and Eddie moved quickly, the duo running to either side of Buck’s side when the younger man collapsed to his knees as he sobbed. “Hey, shh, shh. Just breath, love. You’re okay.” Eddie whispers, allowing the firefighter to fall against his chest as he wrapped his arms tightly around his boyfriend. “I-I can’t lose you guys! I can’t!” Hen moved forward as Buck spoke, eyes filled with compassion and sadness as she sat in front of the fallen man, taking one of his hands tightly into his own, not saying anything but allowing the man to know that she was here for him.

“We’re all right here, Buckaroo.” Chimney explained as he also moved closer, sitting between Hen and Bobby and placing a hand on Buck’s shoulder, whose crying hasn’t eased up. “We’re here, buddy. We’re still here, we’re with you.” Chimney says again, thinking back to the conversation that he had with Buck and everything the younger man had admitted, his heart breaking when he thinks about how long this has been weighing Buck down.

“We can’t promise to always be safe, not with our job.” Bobby begins, and places a hand on the back of Buck’s head that coax’s the younger male to look to him with red rimmed eyes. “But we can promise that we’ll always fight to back to this family, come back to you, kiddo.” Smiles Bobby so lovingly, and Buck sniffs as he takes Bobby’s hand that was on his head into his own hand, not moving from where he was leaning against Eddie. Maddie walks over now, tears sliding down her face as she sits behind her brother and presses a kiss to the back of his head.

“You’re not alone, Evan. Not anymore, you’re here with family.” She whispers, Buck’s crying still having not eased up despite him nodding his head at the words she had uttered. “I-I know, it’s just… You guys are all I have, I can’t lose you.” Buck finally admits everything; explain what had been weighing him down. “And every time I close my eyes, all I can think about is how close I’ve come to losing each of you. It fucking terrifies me.” He sobbed, Eddie holding him closer and rubbing a soothing hand across his back and he pressed a kiss to the top of his boyfriend’s head.

“Kiddo, how would you feel about going back to therapy? Meeting with someone else?” Bobby questioned, asking that last bit after seeing that small bit of panic in the younger man’s eyes when he looked up at him. “We can chose the therapist together, but I think seeing someone about this would really benefit you, son.” The Captain’s voice is filled with understanding when he speaks, and his eyes hold nothing but concern and love for the man sitting in front of him.

“I might know just the person for you, Buckaroo. They’re wonderful and might be the best fit for you.” Athena said suddenly, walking over and standing behind her husband; smiling down so encouragingly when Buck looks up at her. After a moment of silence, and briefly looking at his boyfriend who just smiles so softly and patiently, he nods his head as he looks back up at the older woman. “Y-Yeah, okay. Yeah.” He whispers, releasing a breath he didn’t realise he was holding as he allows his body to sag back against Eddie; drained and tired.

“But right now, you and Eddie are going to go into the spare bedroom, and you’re going to get some rest.” Athena says, everyone stepping back when Eddie helps Buck climb to his feet; holding him close still. He only lets go of the man that he loves when Athena steps forward and bring the younger man into her arms, holding him so tightly as if letting go would mean him disappearing. “You’re running on fumes, and you need rest. So go, we’ll wake you both up when dinner is ready.” Bobby added on, placing a hand on Buck’s shoulder when Athena pulls away from the hug.

“T-Thanks, guys. I’m sorry for how I’ve been acting.” He utters, feeling a little guilty about how worried all of them have been about his wellbeing lately, but it does make him feel so loved that they cared so much about him. “Hey, don’t apologise for this, okay? You’re allowed to have feelings, you’re human. And you’ve been through a lot.” Hen says seriously, smiling at her best friend as she pulls him into a hug of her own. “You’re feelings are completely valid, Buckaroo.”

Eddie, who had been watching with a smile, can easily see that Buck is feeling a little overwhelmed with everything that had happened so he excuses them and says that they’re going to go take up that offer to get some sleep; he can see Buck badly needs it. Leading a tired and sluggish Buck into the house, Eddie holds his hand so tightly as they make their way into the said spare bedroom.

“I would be so lost without you guys; I love you all so much.” Buck whispers despite only talking to Eddie now, who sits him down on the edge of the bed and begins kicking off his own shoes and jacket while Buck does the same. “And therapy might be the best idea; I’m just worried about it.” And Eddie understands why Buck is worried, and everything he is scared about is completely justified and valid; and Eddie isn’t ashamed to admit that he would be the same as Buck.

“I know, love. But if Athena trusts this person, then I’m assuming they’re a safe bet. What happened with her won’t happen again, sweetheart.” Eddie feels like he can promise this, especially if Athena had been the one who was going to give them the name of someone that she trusted; especially after the event with Buck’s previous therapist taking advantage of him. “And we’re here for you, because we love and support you.”

And for the first time in so long when Buck smiles up at his boyfriend it’s genuine and real, even though it’s something small and tired. But it’s real and that is enough to make Eddie feel as though everything is going to be okay soon. Not now, maybe not within the next year, but things will be okay.

#anonymous #prompt fill #buddie fic #evan buckley #eddie diaz #bobby nash #athena grant #hen wilson #howie han #maddie buckley #buck x eddie #i am so tired now #but i hope this is ok #hurt/comfort #angst with a happy ending

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mbeebowriting · 5 years

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draco malfoy x reader

warnings: none other than a kinda ooc draco!

word count: 1.8k

notes: okay this is very specific and super self indulgent but also really sweet and cute so!!! enjoy!!! (also this is unedited bc im too antsy and excited to post it

the past 2 weeks had overwhelmed you. tests, papers, concerts, forced social gatherings- your energy had just run out. you still had another week to go before any kind of break though- so the timing of your burnout was less than ideal. at this point, you barely had enough energy to talk to your friends, so when draco malfoy tapped on your shoulder during class, you whirled around, ready to fight. what you weren’t expecting was his question.

“can you help me with this?” you blinked in surprise. she you had short conversations before class, but it still shocked you a little bit.

“yeah, sure. i’ll show you.” you walked him through the spell a few times, until he was able to execute it well enough to pass.

“great, thank you!” he said with a smile. his politeness threw you off, and all you could do was smile and turn back around. what you didn’t see was how his smile fell after that.

the next day, for whatever reason, he sat next to you, but you were still feeling equally as drained as the day before. at the end of class he stopped you from leaving with yet again, a small conversation.

“do you think we could meet out of class to work on these charms? you seem to really understand it and i could use some help.”

“im sorry draco- my schedule is completely packed until our break.” you replied with a sad smile. “i’ve actually got another performance tonight for the staff dinner.”

“hm. what about after that? we could grab some dinner and study.” you were taken aback again. why was he being so nice to you? you couldn’t turn him down after he’s showing you kindness you’ve never seen before. plus, he was really cute, you’ve always kind of had a thing for him.

“alright, how about 8 o’clock in the great hall?”

“great, it’s a date.” he said with a wink before leaving the class- leaving you flustered and unsure of what just happened.

after you had finished your performance, you made your way to the great hall, spotting draco on the way. you chatted idly while grabbing some food and a table. draco sat to your right and your textbooks piled up to your left. once you began studying, you felt the weight of the day hit you, and you ended up zoning out and staring at your textbook. you laid your head in your hand and decided to close your eyes for just one minute. unsurprisingly, you fell asleep. when you woke up, you and draco were the only ones in the room.

“good morning.” draco said. it was at this point that you realized the position you were in, in your sleep, you had shifted so that your head was resting on his shoulder. you immediately lifted your head up and avoided eye contact with him.

“what time is it?”

“11:30-ish.”

“you let me sleep that long?’ you exclaimed.

“you just seemed so tired and like you needed a break. and plus…” he trailed off. “nevermind.”

“no no, wait. plus what?” he became visibly flustered.

“nothing, there is no plus!”

“tell me what the plus is or i’ll ditch you and hang out with potter instead.” his eyes widened- did that actually make him mad?

“fine. i was just going to say you looked cute on my shoulder like that.” now it was your turn to be flustered. suddenly your textbook was incredibly interesting. you could feel him smirking beside you, but couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. he leaned into to your ear and sent chills down your spine as he spoke. “but to be fair, you look cute all the time.” you covered your face with your hands to hide your blush. he went to pull your hands away, and chuckled as you swatted them away. “hey, you asked for this! why are you so embarrassed anyway, i’m just stating facts.” you sighed in response, but couldn’t hold back a smile.

“i need to go draco, i have another concert tomorrow and i need to be at my best.” your smile fell.

“alright. i hope it goes well.” you gave him a sad smile and couldn’t stop the tears from pricking at your eyes. “hey woah, what’s going on? are you okay?”

“yeah.” you said shakily and unconvincingly, to which he gave you a look. “i’m just exhausted and… i really wish my family could be here for this concert.” you were so focused on talking without crying your barely noticed draco’s hand holding your own. “everyone else’s families come for this concert, it’s our last one, but my parents decided… they would rather visit my sisters than me. i just wish someone would come support me at this last concert.” one tear was set free as you blinked. it rolled down your cheek and dropped onto draco’s hand. he was clearly caught off guard by your sudden change in emotion, but his voice was steady when he spoke.

“what time is it?”

“no, draco-”

“and where?”

“draco you don’t have to come out of pity, it’s okay. this is how it’s always been, i’m used to it. i stopped looking for familiar faces in the audience years ago.”

“what? that’s not okay! when and where is it. i’ll be there.” you studied his eyes before answering.

“it’s here, after they serve dinner.”

“i’ll be there.”

“...why?” “because you deserve to have someone in the audience-”

“no, why are you being so nice to me? this feels so… out of character for you.” his eyes darted around the room, looking anywhere but your own.

“i- you just haven’t done anything wrong for me to… uhh…” he struggled to find the word. “tease you for.” you couldn’t help but feel disappointed at his response.

“well, thank you for that i guess. but we should really get going. it’s late.” he agreed with you, so you packed up all your things and went your separate ways.

“(y/n)!” your roommate shouted as you walked in. “where on GOD have you been? don’t you have a concert tomorrow and classes all morning?” you flopped down on your bed.

“yeah, since when do you track my schedule?”

“you were complaining about it in charms.”

“fair enough, that does sound like me. but why are you so worried about this suddenly?”

“hmm, not worried, just curious.” she said, sitting next to you on your bed. “i happened to walk by the great hall just an hour ago,” your eyes went wide. “and saw you with none other than the prince of slytherin himself: draco malfoy.”

“don’t jump to conclusions, we were just studying.”

“for god’s sake (y/n), you were asleep on his shoulder! did he ever say it was a date? i bet he did.”

“well yeah, but i thought he was just teasing. he does that.” she gave you the same look that draco had given you earlier. “okay and he also called me cute and is coming to my concert tomorrow but don’t read into that, he probably wasn’t serious!”

“guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”

“what?”

“well if he has a thing for you too, he’ll be at the concert.”

“too? excuse you?”

“i love you to death (y/n) but you’re a terrible liar, and you’re not very subtle.”

the day’s classes had flown by- it was concert time. you arrived early, helping set up the chairs and music, and once you had settled into your spot and people had filled in, you couldn’t believe what you saw. what seemed like the entirety of the slytherin house was packed into the front section, with one familiar asshole front and center. he caught your eye and sent you a smile. you couldn’t even think of what to do back, you were too shook.

the concert itself went by quickly. you played beautifully, and all of your emotions poured through your instrument. by the end, you were shaky, emotional, and nervous to see draco after. you didn’t have much time to compose yourself however, as he was the first person you saw as you walked off stage. before you could say anything, he wrapped you in a hug (but quickly pulled away once he realized people were staring).

“you did incredible!”

“thank you- how did you… why are there… what?” you could barely get a sentence out.

“i just asked some people to come and support you, you deserve a big cheering section.”

“draco, i…” suddenly you were aware of everyone standing around you two. “can we maybe go somewhere a little quieter?” he nodded and pulled you through the crowd, out the door, and down the hallway into the courtyard. he sat down on a bench and motioned for you to sit next to him, which you gladly did. you took a deep breath before speaking, trying to kill your nerves that arose with the thought of sharing your feelings with him. you were so in your head, you barely processed what he said when he spoke.

“you really did well up there today. and you look stunning too, by the way.” again, no thoughts heady empty, you could not think of a response for the life of you. he chuckled. “i’m sure you’ve figured it out by now, i’m not just nice to you because you ‘done nothing wrong’ or whatever i said yesterday.” he stared at you, waiting for a response, but all you could do was smile and let your palms sweat. “are you really gonna make me say it? it’s because i like you (y/n).” the final twist of the knife. there were simultaneously one million and absolutely no thoughts swimming around your head, but when you didn’t respond he started to lean away and looked hurt.

“wait no- i’m sorry! this is just a lot all at once! i like you too draco.” you rushed out. he returned to your side, eyebrows raised.

“yeah?”

“yeah. you must have charmed me or something, because i really do. somehow.”

“hey! first of all, rude. second of all, i’m terrible at charms. you know that.” you two joked back and forth until the moon shone brightly up above. after you both agreed it was time to head back to your respective dorms, a nervous silence fell.

“sooo…” you drawled on. “good night i guess?”

��good night to you too.” silence again. “do you have time for another study date tomorrow? i spent most of our last one being nervous and trying not to wake you up.”

“yeah! i’m free tomorrow night if you want?”

“alright, it’s a date.” he said for leaning down to kiss you, and walking away. leaving you flustered and unsure of what just happened for the second time that week.

#harry potter #draco malfoy #draco malfoy imagine #draco x reader #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy fluff #draco fanfiction #draco imagine #harry potter imagine #hp imagine #am i missing tags? idk im terrible at tags lol

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asinglebraincell · 4 years

Text

Bella And The Great Goodbye

Okay ya’ll i’ve written the first part to this absolutely heartbreaking fic that’s been bouncing around in my head. This is my first fan fic i’ve ever written and i’m not that strong of a writer so bare with me! It is NOT a happy story.

Major TW warning. S*icide, D*pr*ssion, Intr*sive thoughts. It’s a long one. Third person narrative because that felt natural for me.

I maintain that this fic is less about Jacob and Bella and more about Bella herself. I didn’t want to involve the tribe anymore than I HAD to so they’re barely mentioned. I think that EdBella are the end game that makes sense bc they’re just as awful to those around them and deserve each other.

I’ve placed it two years after her 18th birthday. Her and Jake are in a relationship but it’s not going well. Bella has her own apartment in Forks, goes to the community college near there and works at the Newton’s store. We pick up after one of Jacob and Bella’s fights. I hope you enjoy it and if you read it and hate it please let me know. If this triggers you in anyway and need to talk, please reach out. I’ve taken quite a lot of Bella’s depression from my own.

I hope you enjoy!

What rotten luck, Jacob thought as his VW rabbit stopped dead in the middle of the road. This day just gets better and better. First I spend hours fighting with Bella and now my car dies?

Jacob had been having a very unpleasant day. He kept his anger under control with Bella earlier. It was hard but he knew that he couldn’t lose control around her. So he fought to keep the anger from exploding out of him. He felt even angrier now. And since no one was around he could blow off some steam at least.

He jumped out of his car after putting it in neutral and began pushing the rust bucket to the side of the road. He engaged the e-brake after putting it into park, just in case. It wouldn’t hurt him too bad if the car started rolling but he couldn’t bear the thought of his baby getting hurt. He popped the hood and began trying to figure out what was wrong now. He couldn’t afford a new part so hopefully, it wasn’t something major.

He had just begun his diagnostics when he heard someone clear their throat.

He wasn’t paying attention to who it was, just that they were human. He had noticed the sound of the engine that pulled up in front of him but he wasn’t paying attention. He turned around and didn’t have to look down to find their eyes. The slight but well-muscled woman grinned at him. She had a round face with high wide cheekbones. She had freckles lightly covering her nose and cheeks, they weren’t super noticeable as her skin was as dark as his own and they were just a shade or two lighter. She had her wildly curly black hair pulled back into a bun with a cotton strip. She smelled like car grease and sandalwood. As he met her gaze, he felt something.

Like the whole world had a big red curtain in front of it and it was suddenly ripped away. The strings that held him where he was suddenly shifted like he was a puppet or something. He felt the pull this stranger had on the strings. Not that she was controlling him, but that she was helping him move. Holding his hand almost to help guide him through life. The fact that she was a stranger made Jacob feel uneasy. His wolf told him that this stranger was the only person in the world he could ever want or need. The strings that tied him to the pack shifted too. They used to be the strongest bond he had. Not anymore. Suddenly, he would fight his pack family for this woman.

He knew from Sam’s internal thoughts about Emily that he had imprinted on this poor unsuspecting woman. Oh crap! He thought ruefully.

“ Uh Oh! Looks like your wabbit needs a carrot!” The woman said, “I’m Cass. Do you need a hand?”

“ I think she’s a lost cause for right now. Thanks, though.” He said with a returning smile. Jake was never really formal but he reached his hand out to shake hers, “I’m Jacob.”

“I can take a look if you’d like. I’m sort of an amateur VW mechanic.”

“By all means. I’m not sure what you’d find. I rebuilt her myself so it’s not up to original manufacturer quality.” He said apologetically while he stepping out of her way. She just laughed. What a laugh Jacob thought. And then he mentally kicked himself for being weird.

“Then I’m sure I’ll probably find a lot wrong.” She said as she looked under the hood.

Just as Jacob had said she couldn’t track down the issue from a glance but offered to drive him wherever he needed to go. They spent the short car ride to Jacob’s house chatting about cars. She gave him a card of a guy she knew with a tow truck. She had written her phone number on the back of the card in case they needed to swap parts sometime soon.

When he was sure she was out of sight, he phased. Desperate to figure out what the hell to do.

Bella knew something was wrong. She could feel it. Jacob was slipping away from her and she couldn’t stop it. They’d be on the rocks lately and she knew it was her fault. Jacob had left in such a fuss that she wasn’t sure where they stood. The hole in her chest felt bigger, threatening to give way at any moment.

He was sure that she was overreacting, as usual. But that didn’t do anything to calm her down. Just made her mad. She had spent the last few hours replaying their argument. He had been getting tired of her insecurities. And there were a lot. She felt guilty because she knew Jake deserved better. And that he needed to walk away. But he wouldn’t give up on her. And she needed him more than she admitted. He filled the hole in her chest for a while. It wasn’t a perfect fit and things slipped through often but she felt more whole than she ever had without Jake. She had once told him that she wasn’t a car he could just fix-up. He seemed to beg to differ.

When it seemed late enough that he wouldn’t call, she went to bed. Slipping on a t-shirt he left on the back of the small chair in her apartment’s living room. It made her feel a little better. Like the Jake she loved was there. Not the Jake she had forced him to be. She tried not to cry but it was hard.

She felt a little bit worse for wear the next day. Jake still hadn’t called her. She wouldn’t call him first, she was hurt by him being so quick to dismiss her feelings. Her worry over losing him turned to anger at herself. She was pushing him too hard. She knew she was. But she didn’t know how to stop it. She felt desperate to fix it all. She didn’t have work today so she had time to focus on her pain and let it simmer for a while.

At around 2:30 in the afternoon, she heard a knock on the door. Knowing it was Jake by the type of knock. They had made a system for which knock he would use so she would know who it was. She had a bout of paranoia when she first moved into this apartment.

She was still in bed and hadn’t bothered to lock the front door last night. Even if Jake didn’t have a key, he could’ve gotten in.

She heard his footsteps get louder as he walked down the hallway to her little bedroom. She covered her head with the blanket. Childishly to not see his face.

“Bells? Come out from under there.” Jake said with a tone she hadn’t ever heard him use before. It was so..formal. It made her shudder as she thought about who that tone reminded her of.

She peeked out from her cocoon at him. He was standing next to her bed, jacket still on. That was a bad sign. He wasn’t planning on staying long. She had to fight the urge to hide further under the covers. This was the bad feeling she’d had yesterday. Her instincts for pain and heartbreak had warned her.

She sat up and didn’t look at him. Choosing to try to find patterns in the quilt she had gotten from Renee last Christmas.

“I need to talk to you.” He said. That formal tone was still there, but there was sadness now.

“Go ahead.” She said just above a whisper. The pain coated her throat and it came out rougher than she intended. He sat next to her on the bed then and hugged her.

“So….you know that miserable and crazy way Sam and Emily got together?” He said with a lot more sadness and anger bleeding through the calm and formal façade. Bella’s stomach dropped. She knew exactly what he was getting at. Imprinting wasn’t something to be ignored. It was too powerful. She suddenly felt a lot of..pain for Leah that she hadn’t before. She knew the story. Sam and Leah were high school sweethearts until her cousin Emily came to visit.

She felt the hole break wide open. She fought hard against the overwhelming pain. Tears welled up in her eyes but she held them back. Because she knew. It wasn’t his fault he had found his person. It’s not his fault that he was just another person to leave her.

“Bella listen to me, please. This doesn’t mean I’m going to just leave and never come back. I’ll still be here for you. I just…nothing makes any sense right now. I don’t know how to explain.” He hurried through the words to comfort her.

“She’s the one for you…I understand. It’s not your fault. Just hurts that I’m not the one. I’m…happy for you.” The tears threatened again and she won against them again. If this was her goodbye to her second love, she would make sure he could go be happy without a fight. They’d done enough fighting.

“It hurts me too. I don’t want to have to do this. I don’t want to hurt you like this. I know you need me. I love you, Bells. I do.” Jacob said quietly as tears rolled down his face.

“S’not the same, though, Jake. I know. The pack explained it pretty well. And I know you won’t just leave my life entirely. You’re still my best friend no matter what.” She said with her zombie Bella tone. She hadn’t had to use the false inflection in over a year. Thanks to Jacob.

He kissed her softly. His and her tears made the kiss wet. It was like the tears were dissolving her tie to him in this way. When he pulled away she could see the pain this had caused him too. She reached out to put her hand on his face.

“Don’t worry about me, Jake. Just be happy. It’ll make me happy to see it. I know I haven’t been making you happy for a long time.” She said sternly

“Bella, that’s not true. I’ve been happy with you. Being your boyfriend was every teenage boy’s dream.” She cringed, knowing it was a lie. It was most definitely not a dream.

“Is that all you needed to talk about?” She said ignoring his attempt to make her feel better.

“I don’t suppose you’d wanna know about her, huh?” He said as he stood up.

“I need time, Jake.” She said with pain marking her entire body. She couldn’t hide it anymore. She had given him up without a fight. She could wallow in her pain now.

He left without another word. She thought it was because he knew she needed time alone. It still hurt him to leave her hurting like that. But he was the one doing the hurting.

Bella seemed to lose track of the days after that. Just barely registering anything that was happening. She had been going through the motions of work and school. Her college workload was light and she only met once a month in person at the tiny community college in Forks. She stopped registering the passage of time again. Just like when…she couldn’t allow herself to think about them. She would surely just end it all then if she did.

Bella had gotten better at hiding her pain. She didn’t want to be the cause of any worry. She was tired of being around anyone. But she put on the almost perfect façade of a happier Bella for Charlie and Jacob.Their friendship was hard at first. Jacob was constantly with Cass and he didn’t want to flaunt this in her face. But they found a healthier rhythm and she even met Cass a few times.

It made Bella happy to see Jake happy. Cass was the perfect person for him. She was an amateur mechanic like he was. She was warm and friendly and made Bella comfortable to be around. Like she had found another human sun. They fit together so much more than he and Bella had. He looked so happy that it hadn’t hurt Bella as much anymore. They drifted more and more as he spent more and more time with Cassie. Bella found it hard to be nice to either of them as time went on. She started getting angrier with their constant optimism. She started declining their invitations places so she wouldn’t have to deal with this newfound aggression towards them. She was just bitter that they were able to be with their soulmate, at least that’s what she told herself.

One day after work as she was driving home, she found herself just driving aimlessly at first. Until she found herself at the spot she and Jake went cliff diving at early on in their relationship. She shivered as she remembered the first few months with Jake. The happiest she had felt in a while. She didn’t get out, though the urge to cliff jump was strong. The adrenaline rush was something she became more addicted too as their relationship blossomed and her depression manifested in ugly ways. Jacob had put a stop to the more death-defying stuns she tried to pull. She got hurt too easily and he persuaded her to try other things that were just as fun.

She turned back down the narrow road to the main highway and drove home. She couldn’t allow herself to remember the happier times because she knew that there wouldn’t be any more for her.

She had resigned herself to being alone and barely human again. She didn’t live with Charlie anymore and only saw him now and then. She hadn’t remembered the last time she spoke with her mother. She didn’t care that she couldn’t remember. Renee was happy with Phil that’s all that mattered. She didn’t have to pretend to be anything at home. She could scream, she could cry, she could die and no one would know for a while. Her neighbors had gotten used to her nightmares.

Die. A small voice broke through to the forefront of Bella’s mind. The small voice turned louder as she got closer to her little apartment. It seemed like it was screaming at her as she walked through her door.

This was new. She didn’t have intrusive thoughts before. Maybe it was a sign. She had finally snapped.

She took three long looks around the small living room. There wasn’t anything left. Nothing keeping her here. She didn’t want anything anymore. She couldn’t even bring herself to read anymore. Her books sat in piles around the wood bookcase in her living room collecting dust. Her favorite stories couldn’t take her away anymore. She couldn’t bury herself in the worlds she had once reached out to for comfort in her young life.

The agony of living and being constantly reminded that she wasn’t good enough to be in anyone’s life was too much. She couldn’t find her place anywhere. It used to not bother her but as she got older, she realized the reason she couldn’t find her place. It was her fault. No one wanted to put up with her. Destiny made up a very convenient excuse for Jacob to cut his losses and leave her. The family she had once hoped to belong to decided she wasn’t worth risking their existence for. Her mother had never really wanted a child. Bella had just tied her down for all those years. Charlie had his own happy enough life without her.

Everyone was better off without her.

Bella found herself two days later on her small tattered couch. Her apartment was packed in boxes. She had four sheets of paper on the coffee table in front of her. The sobs started again. She hadn’t fully stopped crying in the past few days. Hoping that she would cry it all out. But she couldn’t find an end. She wanted it to all end. To never wake up again. To have some relief from the knowledge that no one wanted her. No one ever would want her. She wrote letters to Charlie, Renee, and Jacob before she turned to the last piece of paper. She let herself feel again. Releasing all of the pain she had kept locked away. The family she wanted to join came to the forefront of that pain. Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Carlisle, Esme, Alice…Edward. The family she lost because none of them wanted her. Their names burned in her brain. She didn’t need to write one to each of them. Just one of them. The one she wished she could’ve been good enough for the most.

She didn’t think about whether or not Alice would be watching. She didn’t think it would be very likely. Bella had more than enough close calls with death in the past two years. And Alice never came back. She didn’t care about her. Just like everyone else.

Her hand shook as she penned everything she had wanted to say to her lost love. Her anger at him, her hopes for him, her love for him. Still, after all this time and even with the distraction of Jacob, he was the only true love she had felt. The only place she felt at home. When she was done writing she placed the letters in separate envelopes, leaving them on the coffee table. She had her truck and motorcycle keys laid out on the table neatly next to the letters. She stared at the table for a long while. Thinking the same question over and over again. Was it selfish of her to take herself out of this life? No, she had caused enough stress and heartache for those that she loved. She thought over all of the people she loved, leaving Edward for last. Savoring the pain it gave her.

The light from outside was fading and Bella felt a peace she hadn’t felt in two years. Almost as if he was there with her giving her the strength she needed to follow through. She sat on the floor of her bathroom in the doorway, holding the tool she would use to end her pain. It was probably one of the more slow deaths but it was the one she knew would work.

She hadn’t realized that she was slipping away until she heard the front door open.

“Bella!” A high shrill voice like an angel called out to her. Alice.

#bellaandthegreatgoodbye #new moon #bella swan #jacob black #alice cullen #twilight fanfiction

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flockofdoves · 5 years

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gotta sleep but seriously considering if i should quit this job everyones nice and its only been 2.5 weeks but god my chronic pain and fatigue has been flaring up so much worse between how dramatically different my hours are each day so i never can get adequate sleep and then being on my feet doing physical labor 4-9 hours almost every day and the customers (that much is unavoidable but in combo tho..) i’m been constantly in so much pain and at first i was just like ‘oh its bc im out of shape my muscles are just growing’ but i cant eat or sleep properly on this schedule its constantly rushing you to do something and it makes me so upset because i think i could do fine if i just had like. a fucking chair or could mix up what i do so its not hust constant pressure on my right arm (esp since im short i slice at an awkward angle our tables are taller than im used to slicing on) and if having us understaffed constantly wasnt a well known business strategy bc keeping us high strung and overstaffed and getting out late constantly is more profitable than having adequate staffing and getting out on time without mistakes. and i like that they pay us every week but hate only getting a schedule for the next week like not even 2 weeks even though we have to notify them of absences 15+ days ahead so idk what im doing sunday til thursday evening and ig thats making me more depressed than it normally would because ive finally been hanging out with friends in chicago and then my cousin is visiting who i havent seen in 12 years but i havent had the time to do anything with anyone. mostly though im just in so much physical pain and am constantly sleep deprived and that actually resulted in me bumping a car today (no damage fortunately but i almost had a panic attack in the middle of my street it was so embarrassing i was just parking and had to call my mom to come doen bc i didnt know how insurance stuff worked and so many people saw it)

and i feel so dumb for it ive only worked on shift 11 days so far and have been hired for a little less than a month and all my coworkers are so nice and id feel guilty to leave them when even with me theyre so clearly understaffed even though thats not my fault but god idk how im gonna sustain this. i dont know how to compromise my health and my tendency to flake out when things are hard but here i genuinely think this is too much i just at least want a job i can sit at... maybe even ideally one with more regular hours or schedules with 2 weeks notice instead of one.. but god even that is so hard to find like intellectually its not surprising i know how capitalism works and the reserve army of labor and all but god idk. i guess i keep having hope it might be Somewhat okay for me but its really just so hard no matter what. i dont know how to balance being kind to myself and my body with also freling stupid about claiming i “cant” do it when i know people who are similarly chronically ill who dont have petty bourgeois family who still largely financially support them and so cant quit jobs that are slowly destroying them like this. like of course none of use should have to deal with this but its so scary what does it mean to me to confront that ive seen statistics that 50% of people with both fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome are unemployed. i wouldnt think it of anyone else but im so useless as a leech on my loved ones and havent even been involved with organizing this past month either

anyways. if anyone knows jobs where you can

sit

not do too much repetitive body motions ideally

will allow me to fit 9 hours of sleep into my schedule each day

i dont need a college degree

have a semi regular or reliable schedule to plan around

i know thats asking a lot out of an “entry level” job rven with my 2 years experience in food service/ordering inventory/catering/marketing/etc from my coop but id love ideas lol. or just general advice i hate this shit so much

#cpost

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catboythanatos · 6 years

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hello i am HERE for cecilos week... ive had a helluva day so everyone say thank you last week me for writing most of this bc i could not have written anything today omg. im SO excited to do this prompt week and to see all of the great content everyone’s gonna make!!!!

Day 1: Fashion/Science!

Cecil Palmer was … an interesting character. Carlos had only been in Night Vale for about a week now, and he was avoiding the radio host like the plague. The embarrassment and surprise of hearing his name on the radio so much had scared him away, and while he was a little intrigued, he would just rather avoid that problem entirely until Cecil inevitably forgot about him and moved on.

He had only formally met Cecil once, and he had been in the middle of some ... very important science at the time. Carlos would probably describe Cecil as a man who was not tall nor short, not thin nor fat, but that's about as far as he could go, since he did not make eye contact once during their entire encounter, out of the nervousness of never knowing which eye to look at, which was heightened by the fact that Cecil seemed to have three.

The day of that encounter, he was teased by all of his coworkers when they heard about it on the radio, and he had not gone back to the radio station since.

But of course, you can only successfully avoid someone for so long…

Out at the Ralph's buying groceries, something caught Carlos’ eye. It wasn't polite or proper to stare, so Carlos refrained, but he glanced down the aisle a few times to catch glimpses.

The person was facing away from Carlos and into the aisle. The outfit they were wearing was eye-catching in almost every way imaginable. Their shirt, a red crop-top, had long, semi-transparent bell sleeves that stretched down almost to the floor, and their pants were a shiny metallic silver. From these two things alone, Carlos was given the impression of some sort of avant garde fashionista, but then there was more. To top the whole outfit off, they were wearing lime green crocs. Now, Carlos didn't know enough about fashion to really make any assumptions, but it certainly caught his eye, to say the least.

The person turned, and he quickly turned back at the macaroni and cheese on the shelf in front of him so he wouldn't be caught looking. He didn't realize that the person was walking towards him until he heard:

“Carlos! Hey!”

Carlos looked up, and was surprised as he met Cecil's eyes.

“O-oh,” he said. “Hi.”

“You shop here? Wow, that's so crazy, right?”

Carlos ignored the fact that this was the only grocery store in Night Vale, and the fact that Cecil was being awkward. He found himself staring at Cecil's exposed midriff.

“Carlos?”

“Uhm. Yeah.”

“How are you settling in?” Cecil shifted his weight from one foot to the other, and his wispy sleeves swayed across the floor.

“Fine,” said Carlos. “Um… It’s good. Everything is… good. You know, science… and whatnot.”

“I'm glad to hear it. Anyway, I, um, should finish on with my grocery shop here, and leave you to yours.”

Carlos nodded, turning to the mac n’ cheese again, wishing he was wearing a lighter jacket. It was hot in the Ralph's today.

“I do need some macaroni, though.”

Cecil reached for a box at the same time as Carlos did, and their fingers brushed up against each other. They each pulled away, laughing awkwardly.

“I’m sorry--”

“I--”

“No, you go ahead.”

Carlos didn't move. He looked from Cecil's hand, up to his face. His breath caught in his throat.

“Sure,” he choked finally, grabbing the box off the shelf without looking and dropping it into his cart. “Thanks.”

---

After that second encounter, Carlos was only more determined to avoid Cecil. Well, truthfully, he wanted to spend more time with him, but he was getting feelings he didn't know how to react to and thought it would be easier to pretend that he didn't exist. Of course, listening to Cecil detail their interaction over the radio certainly didn't help.

He was lucky to have been in the car, by himself at the time of hearing the broadcast, because his fellow scientists would definitely have teased him, both for the way he acted and the way Cecil talked about him.

The next time Carlos saw Cecil, he was wearing a polka-dotted button-up tucked into a high-waisted skirt, and the fuzziest looking jacket Carlos had ever seen. He wore round, purple sunglasses, which had a third lense that covered his forehead. Previously, Carlos had been sure that the eye on Cecil's head was just a tattoo or something, but this was mildly disturbing evidence to the contrary. Or he was just very committed to the aesthetic, which did not seem unlikely, given the rest of his outfit choices.

“Hi, Carlos!”

“Cecil, hi!”

Despite not wanting eye contact before, Carlos felt mildly intimidated suddenly that he wasn't able to see Cecil's eyes. It made him feel vulnerable, for some reason. It was Cecil's outfit in general that probably intimidated him, though.

Carlos looked down to the sand-strewn pavement beneath their feet. Cecil wore knee-high black boots with a heel too high for Carlos to even imagine walking in. It definitely made him appear tall, which normally, he was not.

“How's … science? Have you found anything particularly scientific recently?”

Carlos took a small breath and allowed himself to detach from the situation. Science was something he could always talk about, no matter the circumstance or situation.

“Lots of things,” said Carlos. “...Almost everything, actually. Your town is… incredible.”

Cecil laughed, and Carlos looked up to see him blushing, and also sweating. A lot.

Carlos was sweating too. He wasn't sure if it was for the same reason.

“Everything here is… strange,” Carlos continued. “And beautiful.”

Cecil’s breath audibly caught in his throat. Carlos realized what he had done a little bit too late to stop it.

“What kinds of things?”

Carlos was glad that he couldn't see Cecil's eyes at that moment, because he would definitely not have been able to handle the eye contact.

“E-everything.” He faltered. “Science things, I mean. Like, um, the materials. And the sunsets being out of time. And loud? The sunsets are also loud.”

“They can be quite loud,” Cecil agreed. “The materials, though. You mean the materials you found in my studio?”

Carlos blanched. There hadn't really been any materials. He had been there to meet Cecil that day, and he had gotten flustered and grasped at straws for an excuse. “Um… Yes…?”

“Did you learn anything new about them?”

Carlos shook his head. “N...no.”

Cecil scratched an itch on his leg, and his hand left an imprint on his velvet skirt. Carlos stared at it. “No…” he repeated absentmindedly. “I'll, um, I'll tell you if I find anything new,” he said, promptly fleeing.

Carlos wasn't sure if it was him, or Cecil, or what, but something about Cecil was overwhelming in an unprecedented way. He would never judge someone on what they wore, or their appearance, but something about Cecil and his outfits were just… distracting. He considered himself too busy with work to unpack the reasons and feelings behind that for a long time. An entire year, actually. Apart from chance encounters here and there, he would not see Cecil without strictly and explicitly stating scientific reasons. Not that he didn't appreciate Cecil's affections… he just didn't know how to deal with them. Luckily, that only lasted a year, and it only took one near death experience to open up his eyes.

On their first date, Carlos selected one of his most stylish lab coats, in an attempt to impress Cecil with his fashion sense. Cecil had looked so dashing in his tunic and furry pants.

Carlos later learned that avant garde high fashion was not exactly Cecil's grand inspiration. He was a lot lazier with how he dressed than Carlos had imagined. Sometimes he would even sleep in one of his over-the-top outfits and wear it again the next day. He did consider himself ‘spared from the sphere’ (a notion which terrified Carlos greatly) but he wore mostly whatever he found comfortable and suiting for the day. He didn't even own a mirror, which initially struck Carlos as peculiar. This wasn't to say that he put no effort in, of course not -- he definitely went over the top for aesthetic purposes frequently. But he didn't own a mirror. He just sort of looked down at his outfit and decided, ‘sure, this works.’ Or maybe he didn't even look at all. It fascinated Carlos -- who typically spent a lot of time fussing with his hair and clothing in the mirror every morning. Many things about Cecil fascinated Carlos. But his fashion sense… Carlos had different feelings towards it than just fascination.

Night Vale was incredibly scientifically fascinating, but Carlos’ interest in their fashion wasn't really scientific. It was one part awe and two parts envy. Carlos envied Cecil. He tended to dress in ‘scientific casual’, as he called it, but he had more of an affinity for fashion than he let on…. But he had never been able to express himself that way in the outside world. He already got made fun of enough for having pierced ears… he wouldn’t dare venture into clothing items considered ‘feminine’ by the world. In Night Vale, though… no one judged. Everyone was accepting. It still took him quite a while to build up the courage, to stop hiding behind the comfort of his jeans and flannel shirts and lab coats, but he eventually brought it up to Cecil, a few weeks into their relationship. Cecil was understanding, and more than happy to help.

The first time he went clothes shopping with Cecil, Carlos almost started crying right in the middle of the store. Crop tops, skirts, sequins, glitter, tights, stilettos -- anything you could dream of -- and it was all unisex. There were dresses made for men and dresses made for women. He could wear whatever the hell he wanted and nobody would question him. No one would shout expletives at him in the streets, no one would misgender him, he had no family here to judge him... Cecil, despite his total sense of normalcy with all of this, seemed to understand perfectly. He threaded his fingers through Carlos' at his side, and softly asked: “Anything you wanna try on?”

Carlos’ eyes gleamed. “So many things.”

---

When he walked into the lab for the first time in a dress, he was greeted with the first catcall he had heard in quite a while.

Carlos felt a little embarrassed, but he didnt feel threatened by wolf whistles coming from his coworkers.

“Damn, boss!”

He laughed. “Got it, Nils, I’m hot. But I'm here to do my job -- be professional. I'm also,” he said pointedly, snatching his lab coat and goggles off the desk, “taken.”

Nilanjana whooped. Another scientist rolled his eyes. “Trust me, we all listen to the radio. We know.”

Carlos didn't know what to say, so he just winked at them, giving a little twirl of his dress. Nilanjana shot him a smile. “On a serious note, though,” she whispered, “I'm glad to see you embracing Night Vale fashion. It suits you.”

Carlos looked down at the dress, grinning. He thought so too.

#cecilosweek2019 #cecilos #cecil palmer #carlos the scientist #wtnv #my writing #this is me channeling my love for awkward carlos having a crush on cecil #and also my love for cecil's weird outfit choices #i didnt know where to go w this and then i rememberd at some point carlos is described wearing a #'tight black dress' and i was like OWO #<3 i dont have tomorrow's all written yet but hmm we'll see if i can throw something together in time

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lunarthedragon · 6 years

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Hey (; A request for a short story with Mama Inko and BigBro Aizawa bc its totally necesary and we need more of it. Zuzu can be thete too to make him eveb more flustered, ofc. KILL ME WITH FLUFFFF *leaves a lot of cookies as payment* U rock Luniv :3c

Read on Ao3: here

Aizawa was good at keeping injuriesto a minimum. He was stealthy and silent, able to take down villains within afew seconds before anything could get too bad, but sometimes they got thebetter of him. Sometimes they were more vicious or capable than the undergroundhero had previously thought, or sometimes they just got a good couple hits inby chance.

Like tonight… He was lucky. Thevillain hadn’t done too much damage to require a trip to the hospital, and theywere still defeated and put into police custody, but Aizawa knew he lookedawful. He felt awful.

His entire back felt like one giantbruise from being thrown off a roof and cuts covered his arms and legs, theworst of which being one on his left calf. His face probably was a mess of purpleskin and he knew he had some swelling because his right eye’s vision wasgetting thinner and blurrier at the edges. He could feel his heart beat throughhis whole body, a painful, echoing pulse.

When he had finally managed to gethome after his patrol he was met with a bit of a conundrum. In the past, when avillain got the better of him, he would collapse in his apartment, uncaringwhere, and pass out. He knew he needed to dress his wounds, he knew he shouldtake painkillers and eat something and sleep somewhere more comfortable thanthe floor or the couch, but these thoughts rarely mattered in the moment. Sure,he would know logically he should do these things, but it always felt more likea distant voice, a forgotten memory, telling him to do so and he would end upjust falling asleep anyway, body more convincing than the mind.

But nowadays things were different.Nowadays he didn’t have to only rely on himself until Hizashi or Nemuriappeared during the day to finally get him moving and working on tending to hiswounds. Nowadays he wasn’t alone anymore.

Which is how he finds himselfsitting in the Midoriya apartment at four in the morning, head lowered inexhaustion, Inko quietly fretting over him. He felt bad for waking her up. Shemay not have work tomorrow, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t want to rest, andAizawa hated that he was taking that away from her.

“I am sorry for this,Midoriya-san,” he says, his voice raspy, when Inko returns with a washcloth.The woman doesn’t hesitate as she pulls a chair forward and begins to wipe offsome of the grime from the man’s face.

“I don’t want any apologies,” shesays quietly. They didn’t really need to be quiet, Izuku wasn’t there, he wassleeping over at his explosive friend’s house… The literally explosive one, notthe explosively loud, redheaded one. But the atmosphere was such that speakingtoo loudly seemed inappropriate. “I want you to come to me when you need me.”

Aizawa’s expression doesn’t change,it hardly can with how much his face hurts, and he watches his neighbor quietly.Her touch is gentle and patient, cleaning up wounds with as little pain aspossible. He hardly even flinches, and the silence makes him drowsy despite theache.

He felt bad for waking up Inko, buthe also felt grateful. He knew he could trust her, knew she would always bethere to help. He didn’t know what he had done in his life to deserve theMidoriyas, but he didn’t think he could ever give them up. He had never had afamily like this before. Hizashi and Nemuri were close, but Inko and Izuku weresomething else entirely.

“Thank you,” he says quietly asInko begins to patch him up, wrapping up his arms and legs. He has to take offhis shirt and scarf and roll up his pants legs, but none of it feels awkward.Little made Aizawa feel awkward anyway, but Inko just was able to let out acalming aura with everything she did, so long as she wasn’t worrying up a storm.

“Of course,” the woman says,pausing just long enough so she can catch Aizawa’s eye and smile at him. “It’sa mother’s job to look after her boys.”

Aizawa lets out a long sigh, headlowering. “I’m never going to live that down, am I?” he questions roughly andInko quickly fetches him a glass of water, which feels like heaven on histhroat. It hadn’t been all that long ago that he’d accidentally called Inko“mom,” and no one had forgotten it. Izuku had even begun calling him“Aizawa-nii” regularly, which he still wasn’t sure how how he felt about that.

“I truly am honored,” Inko saysquietly, turning back to her work, a small smile on her face, and Aizawa goesback to watching her. “You’re a wonderful young man,” she explains, using herquirk to float over another roll of gauze for his leg. “You’re strong, devoted,brave, and you look after Izuku, too. You have… terrible self care habits,” herface twists a little and Aizawa smirks at her irritation. “I want to help youovercome them. I want to see you succeed and do well and behealthy. I want my home to be a place you feel safe.”

One of Inko’s hands falls ontoAizawa’s knee, making him look up at her again. He was beginning to fade, hisbody relaxing and his nerves calming, sleep scratching at his eyelids.

“I do not know what your family waslike growing up,” the woman says and distant, empty memories flash in his headof coming back to his family’s apartment and not seeing it as a home, just aplace to sleep. Of being alone for hours and hours on end after school. Ofhaving all his needs met, save for parents that actually cared about him orwhat he was doing. “But I would like to think you’re part of our family now.”

Inko stands – she’s just about donewith the wounds now – and Aizawa turns his tired eyes up at her. “You don’thave to see me as your mother, but know that I have no issue with it, and that itwould make me proud to call you my son,” she smiles a bit brighter, “And Izukulooks up to you more than you realize. You make an excellent older brother.”Aizawa snorts, lowering his head and shaking out some of his hair.

“Never really wanted a littlesibling,” he half jokes, his voice distant, uncertain how else he is supposedto respond, and Inko hums, helping adjust his hair some for him.

“Most kids don’t, but you get oneanyway,” she whispers and suddenly there’s a pressure on the top of Aizawa’s head,an alien feeling yet somehow he still recognizes it and his eyes widen inshock. Inko presses a kiss to the crown of his head, like a mother to herchild’s, then leans away and smiles down at his dumbfounded expression. “Sleephere tonight. Izuku’s bed is empty and it will be better than that couch ofyours,” she says, nodding towards her son’s empty room, then pats down Aizawa’shair one more time. “And no matter what you decide to call us… Know that welove you, Shouta,” she nods to him, meaningful and loving, then turns and headsto clean up everything she had pulled out to tend to his wounds.

He watches her silently, his eyeswide, or as wide as they can be with one of them swollen, and when shedisappears into the kitchen, cupboards opening and closing, he shifts and facesforward once more. His elbows rest on his knees and his head hangs, shouldersslouched and back curled. Truly, meaningfully kind words were difficult for himto swallow sometimes. He could deal with shallow ones, or playful ones, therewere logical responses to all of those, but this? This was not familiar groundfor him.

Despite the uncertainty, however,he felt… good. Loved. Like part of a family he hadn’t realized he’d beenmissing.

He smiles to himself, gathering uphis shirt and capture weapon, and very carefully stands. He was exhausted and,with the help of his neighbor and a safe place to rest, he was sure he would begetting some good sleep this time around.

Before he heads towards Izuku’sempty room to pass out, he tilts his head back towards where he still hearsInko rummaging around, and speaks softly so only he can hear it. He would sayit out loud to her honestly one day, just not today.

“Thank you, mom.”

#IIOHAH #bnha #aizawa shouta #inko midoriya

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heyitslapis · 6 years

Text

Ok let's see... its been about 3 weeks since i posted last, give or take a few days. And I'll just say its been an interesting and exhausting few weeks.

Still trying to completely get over my dumbf*ck feelings for Alex. I'm not really doing a super great job at that, and still get random depressive moments that last a varying amount of time, but usually i just push my pity party to the side after about 2 minutes.

On the 3rd of June, Alex went up to see part of her family and join them on a cruise to Columbia. She said wont be back until maybe the 3rd or 4th of July at the earliest. I kinda miss her, but I feel like spending a month physically apart from her will do me some good. Her and i still snap back and fourth to save our streak and to day good morning. Whenever she cant find wifi, she turns on her dad's personal hotspot so she can send me at least one snap to keep our streak rolling (we are the longest streak we have with anyone on our snapchats, and it stands currently at 261 days.) The day after she left the streak sorta died for the day, but she was able to save it cause she was in a different time zone.

Since she's been gone, we've hired several new people at work, many if which being new hosts (thank God tbh, cause this means after theyre all done training and get a couple weeks to get used to everything i can train as a server and hopefully make a little more money). One of them is Giovanni's sister (Gio is a guy that works there. Mostly does dish, sometimes hosts.) And apparently she likes me? About a week before she started they came in to eat with their mom and after they left Gio was like "Dude, i think my sister likes you."

Hey, some random girl actually has a crush on me for the first time in my life? That's cool! Right? It would be, if she weren't 17. If i were still 18 or 19, i wouldnt really care. But now that im 20, even though we only have a 2 year and almost 6 month age difference, i still feel like its weird. I feel like im in a whole new age threshold now that ive hit that 2 decade mark, and she just seems to me like a kid. Anyway, Sammy (thats her) is bi with a preference for girls. She's very forward about asking the girls at work about their sexuality (she'll be mid convo and just be like "wait; you straight?") She makes a hobby of flirting with the straight girls, because as she says it, she can easily flirt with straight girls bc she knows she wont have a chance. As soon as she knows theyre bi or gay, she cant even really talk to them. Sammy flirts with me in excess, has asked me 3 times if im straight, or if im sure that i am (homegirl has only been here like two weeks), and the reason why is because she would happily let me break her heart, and has said thats its too bad im not gay bc if i was she would let me crush her. Also has told me that i remind her of her ex girlfriend, and when i said idk if thats supposed to be a compliment or not, she said "well i really liked her, so..." Oh and btw all 3 times shes asked, I've told her im straight (yknow, bc im not out to the irl general public) and I'll just say that having to lie outloud about my sexuality does not feel that great. Thats not something ive ever had to verbally do before, and now i understand. Tbh i dont really lie, or at least i very rarely do, bc i dont like it, and i want to be seen as trustworthy. i have told my share of lies in my day, but i feel like that was in the top 3 worst lies ive ever told. Simply because i know thats not who i am, yet im saying it anyway.

Besides that, in these last couple weeks ive:

Gotten my computer hacked and almost got scamed out of the piddly $120 dollars total that is in my bank account for me to try to live off of until next Fridays paycheck, and almost got my brother's bank account hacked (looong f*ckin story. Short version, im a gotdang fool, and people are absolute bastards), so now i cant use my computer until i get it looked at, which means no art (sucks bc i wanted to draw myself a bi pride icon)

Put in 103 hours at work in the last 2 weeks

Had our only available car break down twice

Got about half of our kitchen painted. Still need to find time to finish it

Purchased tickets for a convention, and bought almost everything i need to finish my cosplay.

Have a sore in the back of my mouth thats been plaguing me for over a week (finally starting to heal. Its been hurting to do so much as talk, much less eat or drink)

Had to deal with everyone's attitudes at work (some sh*ts going on with the moon and everyones been a pissy ass lately, and im so over it)

The pain in the ass girl at work that we've been trying to get rid of for over a year called in and quit 15 minutes before her literal last shift (Father's day) and our proprietary manager told her "its bullshit that you just found out that your other job scheduled you to work today 15 minutes before you had to come here" and "dont try to come back to this store again". Im ecstatic about it tbqh and feel a small sense of victory about the whole thing.

One of my favorite gays from work had his last shift Saturday night and im still sad about it.

It may not seem like much but its just all around every other day something else small happened to add to the weird and crazy smorgasbord that is my life.

Also bless Sammy bc yesterday was Father's Day, and because of that, i was in the building of my work at 9:45am, started working to get set up at 10, opened around 10:50, and didnt stop until about 8:50pm, 10 minutes before we closed. Our proprietary manager bought us tons of pizza and snacks in the middle of our shift so that we could all take turns having a 10 minute breather, but other than that it was non-stop work and dedication to the customer. At 9:50am my brother went to the Duncan Donuts down the road from us to get the handful of morning people either coffee or bagels or whatever they asked for. I told my brother to get me the english muffin with egg and cheese, and if they had the option, to add sausage to it. Also to tell Sammy i said hi (because she works at that Duncan also, and was there yesterday morning). My brother comes back with breakfast, hands me my food and said that Sammy made it especially for me. (At that time i was also in a bad mood bc i was tired from working four open doubles in a row, and was stressed, so that really lifted my spirits a bit. The food, and the thought that someone made it especially for me.) And i'll just say she just earned my love for the next week at least.

Anyway i think thats all for now loves. I dont have a very eventful life, but i sure do have a busy one.

#my life #avatarkorvira speaks #poor sammy thinks im quote ''really cute'' and ''f*cking adorable'' and im kinda glad she thinks im straight #like her second night training with me she asked how old i was and when i said 20 she said ''damn''#then later when i asked her age (even though i alreadu knew she was 17) she refused to tell me specifically #like shed tell anyone else (including my sister) but not me #and you see at work with certain people ill be like playfully flirty with them just as one of the many ways i show friendliness #like i do it to alex and heather and marissa and molly and several others. but theyre all adults #i know for a fact sammy is a minor. so i told her im not gonna make crude or flirty jokes with her and she doesnt like that #also i just realized that i only joke flirt with girls at work #mostly thats just because im more comfortable with the gals. that and every guy there is either annoying or nasty #and i wouldnt be able to interact with them that way without them making it really gross or thinking im actually hitting on them #and if i ever truely hitting on any of the guys at work someone smack me in the back of the head bc ew #alex #sammy

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wanna1things · 7 years

Text

Soulmate!Kang Daniel

i want daniel to be MY soulmate i LOVE him with all of my heart <3

Genre;; fluff and a whole ass soulmates au;; i might do this sort of au for every member,, like a different soulmate au for each one but?? Idk also university!au

Warnings;; nothing really

Pairing;; Kang Daniel x reader

Requested;; nope another thing kind of from my backlog kinda

Soulmate AU Type;; You dream some of the treasured memories of your soulmate up until when you touch for the first time. The soulmate’s face is censored in the dreams, but their name isn’t.

Summary;; You’ve been searching for your soulmate for longer than you can remember. All you know about him is that he loves dancing and... jelly bears…? That is until you dream of your own university… and your own room...

Style;; bullet point

Word Count;; 1595

Also in this series;; Woojin | Jihoon | Jinyoung | Minhyun

THIS au has been in my brain for the longest time and Daniel fits the storyline the best so enjoy!! its kind of short for this kind of au but it’s because its quite fast paced once you get past the initial bit lol

the first time you had one of the so-called ‘soulmate dreams’ you knew straight away what it was

your parents had told you about it frequently and how they started having their dreams when they were around 4

you were a bit of a late bloomer

it was the week after your 12th birthday, and by that point all of your friends had had some dreams, and some had even met their soulmate

but you’d never had anything, which made everyone worried that you were a loveless - a person without a soulmate

you and your parents were so pleased when your first dream finally happened lol

but your dream was a little different than other people’s

mainly because whoever your soulmate was…

they were performing?? on a stage??

most people had normal dreams, like a first day of school, making friends, getting a good grade on a test, doing a nice piece of work something like that

this sort of thing was rare, especially as a first dream

at first you thought like wow okay guess my soulmate is a celebrity i guess that's cool

and you knew his name, kang euigeon, because they announced it before he performed lol

I mean that was until he changed it to daniel

all the dreams seemed to be related to performing and dancing and stuff, but there were also some;; sad dreams

there was one dream that really stood out, and it appeared to be him meeting his best friend

it started off with him being bullied for looking ‘different’, when the person who became his best friend stepped in and shut them all up

it was a sweet memory but it made you worried because ?? my soulmate is being bullied?? gotta help!!!

it continued on like this for ages, with odd treasured memories popping up every couple of months

one that you found hilarious was his best friend buying him a massive jelly bear for his 16th birthday

when i say massive i mean massive like it was the size of the table

it was gone in 0.5 seconds (realistically it took him and his friends more like 30 minutes)

you often felt sad as your friends were finding and meeting their soulmates, or gradually finding out more about them

but the places you saw in the memories never seemed like they were anywhere near you

in fact you couldn’t even work out if he was even in the same country as you

your friends kept encouraging you to go on holidays, just in case you’d bump into him somewhere there but,, nothing seemed to work?

it was like you were cursed to never meet him which would suck

and you’d heard the stories of people like that, who ended up forming ‘fake’ relationships with people without soulmates and then every night dreaming of their soulmate again

sounded like a depressing life

and a life that seemed to be coming ever closer

in an attempt to salvage what may be the only hope in your life, you poured yourself into your studies

and by poured i mean hello 24/7 365 honor roll student

you managed to score a place in one of the top universities in the country to study international relations with a minor in dance

mainly because you love it, but also because you feel like…. It might bring you closer to your soulmate, you can’t really explain why lol

but on the night after you go and visit the university you have a dream that almost scares the living daylights out of you

it started off with him boarding a plane on his own and coming to what seemed to be your country but then it skipped time a bit

and he was at the university you were set to attend, at the same open day as you

you began to think back about who you saw today, was he one of them? you had no idea

you pushed it to the back of your mind as you prepared for the start of the semester

you’d decided to live off campus with a couple of your friends and some friends of friends

there was mention of the last room being advertised online because they couldn’t find anybody to take the spot but you didn’t really take notice

when it came to moving in day, you spent so much time saying goodbye to your various friends (and their soulmates) and of course your family

you ended up not actually getting there to move in until 4

when you got there you greeted what seemed to be all of your flatmates for the year and they seemed really nice but the numbers didn’t add up

there was an extra room next to yours?

when you looked inside, someone had unpacked in there already and their stuff was strewn all over the floor (someone’s messy)

so you decided to ask your roommate about;;; whose room is it

‘the room next to yours? it’s daniel’s! he’s a business major with a minor in dance like you so you might see him around!! he’s out tonight though,, i think his friends are over or something’

your heart almost skipped a beat when you heard daniels name

but then you quickly realised that yeah,, that’s actually a super common name what are the chances

that was until you dreamed your own flat that night

and the room next door to you

IT WAS SO HARD TO NOT FREAK OUT THE NEXT DAY

especially when you saw someone you didn’t recognise in the kitchen the next day

by someone i mean you’re pretty sure it was daniel

I mean you took one look at him, realised that it wasn’t one of your flatmates that you’d met (so it basically had to be daniel) theN YOU REALISED OKAY YEAH YOU HAVE AN ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS SOULMATE

and he was cooking pancakes shirtless uMDJSHSF

it’s just…

you weren’t expecting to THEN see him in literally the first class you ever had at uni

he smiled brightly at you and waved you over to the seat next to him, quickly introducing himself

‘hello y/n!! i’m kang daniel and i’m your roommate that you didn’t meet yesterday! sorry i was out it’s just that i had to see some friends and that but the others told me who you were and that lol’;; i heard you’re a dance minor too so i guess we’ll be seeing a lot of each other

yeah you tuned out for half of that because fhsdfghf not only is he the most beautiful human but he also has the most ADORABLE SMILE

you shift a bit away from him in your seat because okay you’ve heard stories about what happens when you touch your soulmate for the first time and you do NOT want this happening in the middle of when you’re meant to have a lecture

your friends had told you that basically the part of your body which touches glows bright white and you have like a quick 1 minute recap of all of the dreams

yeah not ideal for a lecture

but daniel, being daniel, does not know this because a) too hyped about meeting his soulmate finally and b) does he look like the type to know what’s going to happen? No

your heart drops when he taps your shoulder to ask you for a pencil sharpener right when the lecturer says ‘this is something you need to remember - it’s important!’

REALLY DANIEL GREAT JOB

as your shoulder begins to glow softly, you look up at him and roll your eyes as he looks at you in complete shock

yep he has no idea whats going on

before you know it the dream recaps started and you’re watching him eat the damn jelly bear again

but what your friends never told you is the dream finishes with an image of your first kiss together

UHHHHH when you saw yourself and daniel in a beautiful garden, sharing a soft kiss, you FREAKED THE HELL OUT

but daniel being daniel knew exactly what to go

cue being dragged out of the lecture theatre by daniel, protesting wildly as your lecturer looks at you two comPLETELY BEWILDERED

he leads you to the gardens nearby the university campus and sits down on a bench by the roses, motioning for you to sit next to him

its silent for a bit until out of nowhere he’s like

‘god that was a long time coming’

you can’t help but laugh because ;; yeah it really did take a lONG TIME

its silent again but… its not awkward

it feels like you two have known each other since forever and tbh you are just basking in each other’s presence

suddenly daniel stands up and plucks a rose from the bush behind him

thank god theres no thorns lol

you’re about to protest about how you’re pretty sure you cant go around picking flowers like that before he kneels down in front of you

and you’re a little shook o

‘y/n!! i’m so glad we met today!! i have been trying to find you ever since i had that first dream!! i hope we can make some precious memories together now!!’

he holds out the rose for you to take it so of course you do

he stands up quickly and presses his lips against yours in a soft kiss

and you swear from that moment onwards

you know for a fact that everything will be okay, because you have him

the end is cheesy bc i didn’t know how to end it lmao anyway;;; yeah i uh;;; hope this wasn’t terrible to read lol;; ok im off to bed goodnightt

#kang daniel #daniel #kang euigeon #wanna one #wannaone #wanna one imagines #wannaone imagines #wannable #soulmate au #au #university au

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fmdtaeyongarchive · 7 years

Text

↬ i beg you, don't be disappointed with the man i've become.

date: december 5, 2017 (d-7 to album release)

location: knight’s dorm

word count: 1,705

summary: honestly idek. ash hates himself. he’s doing great emotionally.

notes: depression tw. mentions of alcohol abuse. mentions of weight loss and vaguely(?) suicidal thoughts tw. i lost the original version of this para back in october so i finally rewrote it and gave it a makeover to be relevant now.

“I wish my family and friends, they stay healthy I wish that love was a currency and the whole world was wealthy I found myself late night wishing on a star Everyday I wish I'd never broken a heart.”

when his manager said ash’s new schedule would be a lot busier than it had originally been, he hadn’t been kidding. for the past month and a half, it’s been the same. ash spends all day in the studio recording either for his album, or a portal single, or one of knight’s albums, and then he has concept meetings for music videos and photo shoots and stages, and they’re all pointless because they rarely consider his input anyway. there are days ash leaves with a success to his record for expressing his own vision, but they’re rare and he wonders how he can feel so stifled when the music on the album itself is so intrinsically his work, from his lyrics to his music to his voice.

today is a good day, at least. recording for his album is long done and the meetings are only about promotion concepts now. nothing today directly contradicts his own vision, so he celebrates the small victory in his mind as he leaves the bc building.

as decent as his day has been, when he gets back to the knight dorm for the day, he wants to be alone, so when his phone starts to vibrate on his bedside table, he plans to ignore it. when he looks down and sees a face time request from ‘mom’, though, he has no choice but to pick it up. there hasn’t been a time since he debuted that he got to talk to his parents enough and it’s been even worse lately with his busy schedule.

“mom?”

his mother’s face appears on the screen and she looks just like she always does, somehow both put-together like the magazine editor she is and as relaxed as the free spirit he knows her to be. “ashton! i’m glad i caught you. you’re not busy now, are you?”

“no, mom,” ash answers, angling the camera to show her where he is before bringing it back to his face. “i’m just at the dorm. i’m not doing anything.” he’s unable to keep himself from smiling at seeing his mom’s face and hearing her voice. he sees her disappear off-screen for a few seconds before his dad joins her in the frame.

“son!” his dad bellows with a wide grin, before it falters with what ash reads as concern."you look like you’ve lost weight. you’re losing those signature kwon cheeks that made your mother fall for me.” ash sees his mom roll her eyes and the homesickness hits him all at once. “your mom and i have been watching your award shows performances and you’re getting really thin. they better not be starving you over there.”

“all i do is eat, dad. you know me.”

“are you sure? you’re starting to look as thin as you did last year, kid. you lost a lot of weight back then.”

the mention of the previous year makes ash shift on his bed. as open as his relationship with his parents is, he’s never found it in him to tell them more than the basics of what had happened last year. they didn’t even know he’d been put on antidepressants and gone through endless sessions with his therapist. they didn’t know he’d lost all of his passion and desire to exist like air knocked out of his lungs after a blow to the stomach. he knows it’s not a big deal and it’s not really a secret and they’d be supportive and want him to be healthy, but he doesn’t want to worry them. they’re too far away to do anything and it’s not their problem.

his mom seems to notice his sudden discomfort and traces the path of the conversation away from his dad’s train of thought.

“do you think you’ll be able to come home for your birthday and christmas this year?” she asks.

“mom... i...” he doesn’t know why he’s hesitating. she has to know the answer. he knows her, which means he knows she only asked out of the tiny shred of hope that it would be different this year. “my album’s coming out and i’ll be promoting over christmas.” his voice takes on a melancholy tone. “i really wish i could, but you know i don’t get a say in it.” he has no control over the circumstances, but guilt begins to bubble in his chest anyway.

“we’ll send your gift in the mail, then,” his mom says with a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. ash knows his parents miss seeing him. likewise, he misses them more than he could ever convey to them. he misses home. no matter how long he lives in seoul or how many friends he makes there, it will never be his home.

“so, ash..,” his dad speaks up with a more awkward tone after a few seconds of silence in which the guilt only continues to eat away at ash. “you know we don’t usually read all the rumors about you, but we saw they’ve been popping up again an awful lot.” it’s a topic ash has dreaded having to discuss with his parents. “you’re doing okay, right, ash? you’re so young, kid, and we know you have a different kind of pressure on your shoulders than most kids your age do, but we don’t want you to let all of that get to you,” his dad says and ash barely holds back a bitter laugh. can they really not tell that it got to him a long, long time ago? “we know who you are, son, and it’s not any of the hate you get. you have a lot of love to give and you’ve always had a kind heart. we’ve never questioned that.” the words should reassure ash, but there’s something about them that makes him feel like there’s a but coming.

and it does come.

“but you’re not... drinking too much, are you?” of course they’ve seen the video from back in tokyo. if they keep tabs on him, they were bound to. he just hopes they haven’t read the comments. ash deserves all of the harsh words he gets, but they don’t deserve to have to read them. they don’t deserve to realize that despite all of their best efforts, their son has turned out to be someone so unlikable and flawed beyond repair.

“i’m an adult. i can drink,” he says with as much conviction as he can muster. there’s nothing wrong with him having a drink, but that doesn’t keep him from feeling guilty every time he resorts to getting so drunk that he can finally feel something close to numbness. it isn’t fair for him to be numb when so many others have suffered because of him. the poison eating away at his soul is his punishment and yet he’s so weak, he tries evade it. the guilt he’d felt earlier from not being able to visit home for the holidays has spread to his whole body now.

he can’t look into the screen of his phone anymore and a silence hangs in the air of his room. in the quiet, the urge to drown himself in the calming sea of liquor creeps up on him again and, god, does he hate himself for it. he wonders if instead of his punishment being his own pain, it’s his inability to disappear into thin air. the only way he could possibly hope to atone for his mistakes is to let everyone live their lives free of him before he can do something else to hurt them.

his parents deserve to have a good person for a son, but he doesn’t know how to apologize for the fault of his existence.

instead, he clears his throat and blinks back tears threatening to wet his face. “um, hey, guys.” his voice nearly cracks, just like he can feel his composure doing. “i know i said i wasn’t busy, but i forgot to do something important before i came home. i actually have to go, sorry. it’s a..,” he wavers, “a work thing.”

ash can see the disappointment in his parents’ faces and although he knows it isn’t directed at him, he thinks it should be.

“okay, well, i love you, ashton,” his mom says first. her sadness at their short conversation weighs heavy on his heart.

his dad adds, “yeah, we love you. stay healthy, okay, son?”

ash nods wordlessly, fighting back the urge to tell them he doesn’t deserve their love. he knows they’d argue to the contrary because they’re good and loving people. much more so than he’s ever deserved. “i love you guys. talk to you soon.” his response is quiet and he gives them a forced smile before ending the call and tossing his phone to the foot of his bed.

the tears come as soon as there’s no one to see them, but ash fights hopelessly to hold them back. they feel like stinging acid running down his cheeks. they’re tears he shouldn’t be shedding. what has he done to earn the right to be sad? so many have it worse than him, yet he has the audacity to cry. tears have always come too easily to him because of his selfish need to release his own pain.

he rubs the soft fabric of his sweater over the damp skin under his eyes as he reaches over to turn off the lamp on his bedside table. he feels the darkness blanket the room and then slowly creep into his heart as he rests the side of his head against his pillow and curls up into himself. a puddle of dampness from his tears forms on the pillowcase, but he doesn’t notice. he tries to fight back all of his thoughts, to let his mind go blank of any intrusion without the aid of liquor. it’s not as easy, but nothing ever is for him lately.

he doesn’t remember falling asleep, but eventually he gives in to the thoughts prodding at his mind and, exhausted by his own crying, drifts off into a dreamless sleep with only the hope that it will all be better when he wakes up. that he will be better when he wakes up.

#&& when you're screaming but they only hear you whisper | self para #&& bring color to my skies | character development #no way i'm going to get all the self-paras i want to write done before....... something

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gryffvndors · 7 years

Text

uncommon alliances: part two

summary: intimacy isn’t really draco’s strong spot, but that doesn’t stop him from trying. you decide you don’t want a pygmy puff anymore, so you go in search of a new owner for puff.

word count: ~3800

a/n: YALL I DID IT I GOT IT OUT OMG now to get out all the requests i have..... hmm........ we’ll work on it. please enjoy this i worked hard and i will work hard fulfilling you guys’ ideas! and i need to repost catch me if u can bc i deleted it oops anyway enjoy and wish me luck on these terrible cramps i have hoenestly (ha get it) i feel like dying bye

part zero part one

Puff, stationed on your shoulder, squeaks into your ear just as you feel yourself drifting off.

“Good fucking Merlin-!” You jump nearly a foot in the air, hand flying to your heart. You whip your head around to glare at the bright blue ball that’s currently digging its nails into your skin, its noises softer. You let your anger bubble in your stomach for a moment. After that moment is over, you take a couple breaths to calm yourself down, then reach over and wrap your fingers around the pygmy puff. You get off the sofa in the Gryffindor common room, the one you were trying to nap in, and, as you attempt to pry your shoulder free from the clutches of the small, round beast that’s trying to dig its way into your body, push the portrait open and step out onto the staircase.

Ginny mentioned earlier she’d be somewhere downstairs trying to “prepare for her O.W.L.s”. You roll your eyes as you descend the stairs - by “prepare for her O.W.L.s”, you know she meant she’s going to hide somewhere and snog Harry for a couple hours. You don’t mind that; Harry knows of the wrath he will face from not only you, but the entire Weasley family, if he breaks her heart. Including her, you think - Ginny isn’t going to let anybody hurt her without consequence. That’s why she’s your favorite sister.

While you don’t want to walk in on a sister/best friend snogging session, desperate times call for desperate measures. This creature won’t let go - you don’t want to spell it off, just in case it accidentally… dies, or something, and you’re, okay, a little scared to get bit. By a pygmy puff. Some Gryffindor you are.

You go in search of the usual snogging places all Hogwarts students know about - a few broom closets, a couple abandoned/deserted hallways, some dusty corners. While you manage to find one snogging couple, it isn’t Ginny and Harry. You retreat from the corner, cheeks burning, muttering apologies to Dean and Seamus.

Dean and Seamus. You didn’t see that coming.

Hermione, apparently, did; you bump into her at the end of the hall. She’s carrying a rather large load of books, and seems to be headed towards the library. You raise a hand in greeting, a smile spreading across your lips.

“Hermione!” You cheer, rushing forwards. Hermione turns and nods in your direction. “Did you know Dean and Seamus are a thing? I’m looking for Harry and Ginny and I caught them snogging in the Transfiguration Hallway Corner!”

Hermione snorts, continuing on her way. You jog to keep pace. She’s travelling awfully quickly, especially for somebody with so many heavy books. “Yes, I knew about that. Anybody with any sort of observational skills would know that.”

You shrug. “I didn’t.”

“I said somebody with observational skills. Why do you have your pygmy puff on your shoulder? Ron told me yesterday that you’re embarrassed to be seen with it.”

You nod quickly. “I am. That’s why I’m looking for Harry and Ginny - well, just Ginny, really, but I wager I’ll get the package deal. This thing won’t unlatch itself from my shoulder! I’m scared it’s going to bite me, ‘Mione,” you whine, grabbing her arm and pulling her to a stop. “Please help me. It woke me up from my nap.”

Hermione, rolling her eyes, shifts the pile of books to one arm. Using the other one, she fishes her wand out of her bag and wingardium leviosas the pile in the air. Once the books are floating, she uses the hand not controlling the magic to stroke the pygmy puff softly on its back. You exhale in relief as the claws extract, allowing you to pluck it off of your shoulder.

“Thank you, Hermione, I don’t know what I would do without you - well, I reckon I’d probably have a dead pygmy puff, so it’s rather good that I’ve come across you, isn’t it-”

“God!” Exclaims Hermione. “A dead pygmy puff? You would’ve killed him?”

“No! Well, not on purpose. I probably would’ve tried spelling him off. Ah, I’ll let you go, you seem in a rush. I have another nap to take - and a pygmy puff to sell,” you glare reproachfully at the squeaking thing in your hand. Hermione takes the pile from the air and returns her wand to her bag. She brushes away a stray curl from her forehead, smiling. It’s more of a tired smile than anything, though on Hermione, it isn’t a bad thing. It’s normal for her; she’s always tired.

“Do be careful…”

You wave her off. “I’m always careful, ‘Mione. Alright, goodbye-”

You spin on your heels, rushing off in the other direction. You feel her gaze trained on your back as you flee - she’s probably worrying about the state of the pygmy puff. Well, she doesn’t have to.

You turn the corner, heading back up to the common room. There’s a couple hours until dinner left, and it’s a Saturday - the rain outside closed up the Hogsmeade trip, and while you were a little disappointed, you were also relieved by the catch-up of sleep you could get.

As you’re about to round another corner, somebody else decides to turn just as you approach it. They’re going a bit faster than you - everyone is so urgent today, you think with a frown. What’s the rush? You rushed to get away from Hermione, but only because you wanted her to continue with her day. If you hadn’t’ve left, she would’ve worried over you and the pygmy puff and insisted on going up to the common room with you, or maybe help sell the oversized, squeaking, furry blueberry you’re clutching.

You glance up to see who you nearly ran into. At the sight of Draco Malfoy’s face, yours breaks into a grin. You force down the flippant feeling you get in your stomach. “Draco Malfoy! What a pleasant surprise!”

Draco eyes you. Or, really, he eyes your hand. You eye it, too. For a minute, the two of you just stand there, staring at Puff. When the awkwardness finally surrounds you, you say, “This is my pygmy puff.”

“Really? I thought it was an owl.”

“His name is Puff,” you ignore his biting sarcasm. “Would you like him?”

“What?” Draco scowls, crossing his arms. “No, I don’t want him. Why would anybody want that?”

Puff squeaks sadly. You think it’s sad, at least. You aren’t very intuitive when it comes to pygmy puffs. Still, you glare up at the Slytherin. “Look, you hurt his feelings. Apologize.”

“Weasley, you’re just as deranged as your entire family if you think I am going to apologize to a pygmy puff,” he pauses. “Did you say its name is… ‘Puff’?”

“Yes, Harry named him because Ginny wouldn’t let him name hers. It’s what friends do.” In a moment of haughty pettiness, you say, “Though, you wouldn’t know about what friends do, would you, Draco?”

Draco stares at you. You stare back. For a second, you think he’s going to pin you against the wall and snog (or maybe punch) you - it’s happened before; the two of you have snogged a few times (if every chance you get is a few) after the initial Hogsmeade kiss - but then he rolls his eyes and glances back at the pygmy puff.

“Of course Potter would name it something as stupid as ‘Puff’,” Draco spits. “And I do have friends. They happen to be your friends as well. I don’t think you realize exactly how aggravating that fact is.”

You smile innocently. “I’m so glad we have mutual friends, Draco. Now, are you going to take Puff, or am I going to have to go common room to common room and put on a big sales pitch?”

“Why are you selling it-”

“Him.”

“-anyway?” He shoots you something that resembles irritation and dismissal.

You shrug, “I don’t want him.” He waits for you to continue. You groan before adding, “Also, I’m scared he’s going to bite me.”

Draco lets out a snort. “You, the mighty Gryffindor, are scared of a pygmy puff? It’s blue. It resembles a blueberry, or a - a vibrant, miniature Quaffle.”

“That’s what I said when I first got it!” You perk up.

Draco doesn’t seem very pleased to hear that. He groans. “I do not know why I am doing this, but give me the bloody pygmy puff. I will give it to Blaise, or… something,” he sighs. As you pass him the critter, he grabs your wrist instead and pulls you closer, just close enough to bridge the gap between your bodies. It’s a short kiss, but it feels nice anyway. Your stomach does backflips at the contact. When it’s over, Draco, refusing to look at you again, snatches the animal and continues onward, looking quizzically at it as he walks. You watch him leave, a lazy, satisfied smile on your face. Just before he’s about to turn, you call, “Thank you, Draco! I appreciate it!”

Draco grunts, and then he’s gone.

Relieved and unburdened, you retreat back to the common room and settle back in on the sofa. Without the indignant sounds of the small, breathing Quaffle, accompanied by the familiar crackling of the fire in the fireplace and aroma of burning wood, you fall asleep easily.

You’re woken up by someone furiously shaking the sofa. Shrieking, you whip your wand out and point it to your right. You open your eyes and look in the direction it’s pointing. There isn’t anybody there. You glance in the opposite direction. Ginny and Ron stand behind the back of the sofa, brows raised. You aim your wand at them. “Back away slowly,” you instruct, “and no harm will come to you.”

Ginny plucks the wand from your fingers and tosses it across the room. You scowl and cross your arms.

“You’re no fun.”

“I’m plenty fun,” she dismisses you with a wave of her hand. “Anyway, come on - it’s dinner time. Hermione told us you’d be up here sleeping. She was right,” Ginny sends you a pointed look. You send one right back. “How do you sleep so much? You sleep more than Ron.” Your sister ignores your brother’s slightly insulted look and motions for you to get up.

You roll off the couch and pick up your wand before following them out of the common room. “I like sleeping the way Ron likes eating,” you explain. Ginny nods knowingly.

“We are Weasleys. When we like to do something, we do it in extreme.”

Ron mutters something under his breath, then throws his hands in the air. “Why am I always the one forced out of conversations? I want to be included!”

You consider it before saying, “Say something worthwhile.” You grin at Ginny as she sniggers into her hand. “I’m only joking, Ron. We’ll include you in our conversations if it really twists your knickers. Ginny and Ronald,” you flash him a smirk, “have you heard from Charlie that they’ve discovered a new species of dragon?”

Ron avoids your gaze and seems to find the ground interesting as you guys walk. Ginny exclaims, “Yeah! It’s in America, right? They haven’t named it yet, but it lives in the Appalachian Mountains. Ron, do you know anything about it?”

“I… haven’t been talking to Charlie lately,” he mumbles. “So no.”

“And that’s why you’re never in our conversations. Do your homework, Ron.” You enter the Great Hall, heading towards the Gryffindor table in large strides. Draco intercepts you at the last second. You notice a pout on his lips because, damn it, that’s where your eyes automatically go. It doesn’t look much different from his usual frown to most people, but you’re only a little embarrassed to admit you know his face well enough to be able to tell the difference. The pout is missing the jutting out of his jaw that his frown gets. His brow is creased a bit more, eyes full of indignance. You forget your current company and sigh, running a hand through your hair.

“And how may I be of assistance to you, Malfoy?” You inquire sarcastically.

Draco ignores your siblings who - in their right mind, of course, seeing as how you’re the one acting oddly in their eyes - send filthy looks his way. Ginny hisses in your ear, “Let’s go.” Ron only glares so hard, you think he might pop a vein or something.

“I need to talk to you. Away from your… companions.”

“Oh, bugger off, Malfoy,” Ron snaps. You note how his hands ball into a fist. Past Draco, you catch Hermione and Harry staring worriedly in your direction. With a slight shake of your head, Harry - who was getting ready to rise and come to your aid - relaxes ever so slightly. Ron continues with, “Whatever you need to say to her, you can say it in front of us. Her family.”

Ginny folds her arms across her chest and tilts her chin up. You glance between them, almost amused, before inclining your head in a nod.

“Thanks, guys, I appreciate your concern. Really, I do, but I need to speak with Malfoy alone. It’s for Alchemy.”

“Since when have you taken Alchemy? And since when have you been friends with Malfoy?!” Ron scoffs.

“Uh, I’ve taken Alchemy since the beginning of the year? Where have you been? And we’re not friends, we’re partnered for a big end of term project. I’ll be right back, Ronald, I’m not going to die.”

“It’s Malfoy, you don’t know that!”

“Weasel,” Malfoy deadpans, “I’ve no desire to murder your sister. To be frank with you, she isn’t worth the Azkaban time. Anyway, I’ve got more important things to do. Like discuss a very important project that is ninety percent of our grade, so if you will excuse me-” he grabs your wrist and pulls you along with him. You flash a thumbs-up to your gobsmacked siblings and stumble over your feet in his haste.

Once you’re a good deal away from the Great Hall and in one of those “snogging corners” as Ginny so eloquently calls them, he pushes you against the wall and uses the corner to its full potential. You let him, relieved. As you snog him, your mind drifts to the scene you’d walked in on earlier in a different “snogging corner”. You begin to snicker and push him away, covering your eyes with one hand and grabbing his own with your other. “Earlier, when I gave you Puff - where is he, anyway? Wait, don’t answer that quite yet, I want to tell you this first - earlier when we were talking, I don’t think I mentioned what I saw earlier. It’s so crazy, I honest to Merlin never thought I’d catch it happening. I mean, Ginny has made an offhand comment about it, but I always thought she was being a prat because Dean’s her ex. I never expected it to be real. Yeah, they’re best friends, but I always thought that was the extent of their relationship - did you? I mean, I’m well aware that you’re not a Gryffindor and therefore, you’re not friendly with them - I think you rather dislike them, actually - but still, you could not have seen this coming. Did you?”

Draco blinks at you oddly. “You stopped snogging me so you could ramble on about Ginny Weasley and Dean Thomas’ past relationship.”

“What? No.” It dawns on you that you probably didn’t actually get to the point, and that it - the point, that is - was lost in your babbling. “Oh, oh. Okay. No, I walked in on Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan snogging. Hermione said she knew they were a thing, but she’s a lot more observant than I am.” As an afterthought, you add, “I guess Ginny is, too.”

Draco snorts. “I think a troll is more observant than you.”

The sentence takes you back to first year. You scoff and mutter under your breath, “You’d be surprised…”

He ignores that and says, “You take after your brother in that. Yes, I noticed Thomas and Finnigan - not that I ever cared,” he sniffs. “Anyway, onto subjects that actually matter, I did not just pull you away from Potter and his minions-”

“Uh, you mean my friends? And family?”

“...Yes, them. However you label them. There is a reason for this other than snogging-”

“Are you sure? You seemed a bit excited,” you smirk, standing on your toes. “Are you harboring feelings for me, Draco? How sweet. You fancy a blood traitor like me.”

“I… okay, number one, stop interrupting me. I do not speak because I like hearing my own voice, I speak because I need to say something. Two, I am not… harboring feelings for you,” he shifts his weight, uneasy. It takes him a second before he continues with, “Three, even if I was, it wouldn’t matter because your friends despise me. I believe we have had this conversation before, actually - we are getting off track.”

“No, I like where this is going,” you beam. He wrenches his hand away from yours. “Aw, look, you’re getting all ‘I am a strong Slytherin with no feelings’ and withdrawing into your shell. How cute.”

“I’m not,” he mutters, scowling.

“Mmm. So what is the reason for pulling me away from Potter and his minions, Draco?”

“I…” Draco fishes something out of his pocket and thrusts it to you. “Here. This is for you.”

He looks away, flushing, as you reach out to unclench his fingers. Sitting in the palm of his hand is something silver. You pick it up and realize that it is a bracelet - a thin one, with little charms on it. There’s a bird; a lion; what looks to be a bat - the Quidditch kind, seeing as how you’re a Beater for Gryffindor; a star; and a heart.

You stare at it longer than you probably should without saying a word.

Draco peeks at you, then huffs. “Don’t just stare at it,” he says. “Say something.”

You look at him, grinning. “Are you insecure?”

“No!”

“You sound insecure,” you wrap your arms around him abruptly. His body tenses up before relaxing into the hug. “Thank you, Draco. It’s really pretty.”

“Mm. The lion is for Gryffindor, because you’re an irritating Gryffindor. The bat is because you’re a Beater. The bird is because, well… I like birds,” he glares at you when you chuckle. “I didn’t know what else to get, so I got a star. So, there. That’s, uh, payment. For the Puff thing. You said you wanted to sell it. Him,” he corrects himself.

You poke at the heart. “And what’s this for, Draaaaco?”

Draco flushes darker. “I… you’re not a moron like your brother,” he says crossly. “Stop playing dumb.”

“I just want to hear you say it!”

“Fine. Merlin, you’re obnoxious. I… suppose I fancy you. For lack of a better term. And person,” he licks his lips. “Because I’m only with you because there isn’t anybody else in this stupid school. Not because of who you are, or anything.”

You roll your eyes. “I’m perfect, and you know it,” you smirk and stand on your toes again. “You can stop guarding your feelings, Draco, I’m not going to hurt them. Thank you for the bracelet, though - it’s very pretty. Did you get it in Hogsmeade?”

He nods. “I ordered it a couple weeks ago. I was going to give it to you today, but-”

“The trip was cancelled,” you finish. “Right. Well, I suppose I fancy you, too.”

“I did not pull you away from your insufferable friends to talk about feelings-”

You hold your hands up in surrender. “I know, I know! I’m just saying! I really like you!” You hold out the bracelet. “Will you help me put this on before I return to my insufferable friends?”

He nods and unclasps it. As he wraps the silver chain around your wrist, you’re hit with a sudden wave of emotion. The position that you’re in feels strangely intimate. He peeks at your face and reads it like a book. “Merlin, are you going to cry?”

“I’m not going to cry,” you protest, but sniff. “I just think it’s so sweet that you bought me this bracelet, and that you have feelings for me, and that you customized these charms and it’s really intimate and caring and I wish that you weren’t such an asshole to my friends and family becausethey’llneverapproveofyou-”

He finishes putting the bracelet on you and frowns. “I’ll have these… feelings talks of yours if you want, but not here. I just wanted to give you the bracelet and snog you for a little bit. Can we postpone the conversation we’re about to get into?”

You laugh, nodding, and raise your wrist to admire the jewelry. “Yeah, yeah. Of course we can. Thank you again, Draco. I really like it.”

“Good. We should be getting back; I know you have that ruddy Weasley appetite that makes you eat a meal every two hours or so.”

You roll your eyes, but find that you can’t disagree. “Before we go back, can we snog some more?”

“Only if you walk in the Great Hall five minutes after I walk in-”

You cut him off by bringing his face down to meet yours. You don’t really care about staggered entrances.

A few days later, you find him in the library, a book on potions open and ignored. Draco is playing around with Puff - he’s stroking his fur, feeding him little bits of apple, and laughing. You watch the scene unfold for a good three minutes before marching over and planting your hands on your hips.

“I’ve caught you in the act, Draco.”

He jumps and hides the pygmy puff. When he sees that it’s just you, Draco snorts and brandishes him again. “I actually like him,” he admits.

“I thought you were going to give him to Blaise or something?”

“That was before I actually got to know him! I can’t give him away now, we’re friends.”

You roll your eyes, facepalming. “Merlin, you sound like my sister. Why do you like him, anyway? He’s small and loud and annoying-”

Draco stares at you for a second. When he realizes you’re not kidding, he thrusts his hand out, palm-up, with Puff balancing on top of it. “Because he’s soft,” he says like it’s obvious. “Have you never felt him before?”

“Trust me, I’ve felt him many times. He was actually attached to my body once.”

“...What?”

You sigh and sit down across from Draco. “Nevermind,” you breathe, and rest your head on your hands. You spend the rest of your free period watching Draco and Puff together, and playing with the little charms on your silver bracelet.

#draco malfoy #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy fanfic #draco malfoy one shot #harry potter fanfic #draco malfoy imagine #my writing #liquidmusing #writing #uncommon alliances #uncommon alliances: part two #yay!!!! i got it out #and i hope its okay #pls tell me its okay and not terribly out of character #......#im insecure #mine

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