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selfcallednowhere · 5 years

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March 3, 2018 San Francisco, CA

This was my second time being at the Fillmore, after an Apollo 18 show a couple of years ago. It's a really awesome venue! I just love all things historic, and it really is just a cool venue even aside from that--I especially love the beautiful chandeliers (so does Flans, but I'll get to that).

So I was hoping they were actually gonna change the setlist this time after having the exact same one the previous two nights, and there are few songs that could've made me more excited than what they opened with: "Everything Right is Wrong Again"!!! Seeing the songs I have lyric tattoos from is always so intense for me. I've seen the other one, "Ana Ng," quite a few times, but this was only the third time I'd seen this one, and it was a majorly big deal. So that was the show highlight right off the bat!

After the song was over Flans said it was a sold out show, and that selling it out had "changed our whole self-image" and now they were "strutting around all arrogant and sticking our fingers into other people's chests." Then he said they were playing two sets and he wanted us to hold our applause for the second set (he actually said "second show," but he clearly meant to say "second set") and "treat us like any other opener" and feel free to do things like catch up on our emails.

Then he asked John how his day was (I love that he usually asks him this, because I'm always curious). John said that he'd slept for most of it, and Flans said he had too but he'd been trying to keep it a secret. Then he said it was part of his "two-part program: sleep all day, then drink an insane amount of coffee."

Then they had some whole long conversation about this self-help guru I don't really know named Tony Robbins. Flans said he'd just watched some Netflix documentary about him, which he expected to be some sort of exposé but was actually "a Trojan horse for him." John said he makes you not believe in self-help and think "I'll help myself, thank you very much." Then he said that his act has gotten a lot more obscene and he's now saying things like "How do you fucking feel?" whereas before he was more "G-rated." Then Flans said he'll yell at someone who "looks like someone's grandmother 'What the fuck is wrong with you?'" John said we should watch this documentary, and Flans said we should set a timer and just watch it for ten minutes.

Then Flans said they were going to be playing "new songs, old songs, and songs we barely know how to play." People cheered, and he said, "Those are our favorites too." Then he said they have a new album and it's really good. John: "We were holding the vial of good and someone jostled our elbow." Then Flans said they're "chuffed" about how good it is.

After "I Left My Body" and "Damn Good Times" (both great as per usual), Flans said the previous song had featured "the psychedelic experience of Dan Miller," and that the Fillmore is "no stranger to endless guitar sounds." Then he said that he didn't have "enough weird guitar sounds" on the next song, and John said that "the stakes are higher" cos it's the Fillmore.

Next they played "Mrs. Bluebeard"--John did not break his sad little streak of screwing up the lyrics every single time I've seen it, siiiiiiiiigh.

After "Your Racist Friend," they played "I Palindrome I," which was another delightful surprise and show highlight for sure--I've only seen it a handful of times, and it's such a good song.

Then, John picked up the contra-alto clarinet.

JF: This is the contra-alto clarinet. The signal for political revolution! JL: Cells, awaken! JF: If not here, when? If not now, where? Maybe I'm harping on this too much. *long pause*

Then they played "All Time What." Afterwards, Flans said that Dan had provided "an adult portion of high notes" on that song.

At the Fillmore they have a person walking around carrying a tray over their head bringing people drinks so they don't have to leave their spot to go to the bar. So the girl who was doing it this time was walking up near the stage (she was nice, I chatted with her a bit at the second show) and Flans said, "It would be interesting if that person didn't work here. There's not enough mustache wax in the world to top that. Not enough top hats in the world to mustache wax that."

Then they played "Bangs" and "Hearing Aid." They're doing an interesting cacophony of sound at the end of the latter, and it's good with Curt's trumpet too. That song is one of the ones I rank lowest on Flood (I don't hate it or anything, just not particularly into it), but it's still been rather enjoyable live somehow (I've been having that experience with quite a few songs that are currently in the set, actually).

Then Flans said that he's seen some movie called Last Waltz (another pop culture reference that was entirely lost on me) like 14 times, so when they play here he imagines an announcer announcing Neil Diamond. Then he asked if they could turn the chandeliers on "at a low volume." Then he said that there was going to be a "Neil Diamond/Van Morrison cage match--only one pantsuit will survive." Then John said that they've played a bunch of shows here before but he can't remember the chandeliers ever being turned on before, and Flans said you have to play a sold-out show to make it happen. They were very pretty, once they were on!

Then they played "The Mesopotamians." I've been burned out on this song live for quite some time, just cos I've seen it a million times, so I was pleasantly surprised when I actually enjoyed it this time.

Next they did the back-to-back thing that I was loving so much at the other shows of "When the Lights Come On" followed by "Nothing's Gonna Change My Clothes." GOD, I cannot even handle how good it is seeing two songs as amazing as those two back-to-back like that.

After that, Flans was describing the chandeliers as jellyfish, which was really silly. He said he wished he'd taken some psychedelic drugs to appreciate them more.

JF: There's some commercial on cable TV for some memory tablet that says "Includes an active ingredient found in jellyfish." Because jellyfish remember everything. GUY IN AUDIENCE: IT'S THE STINGER! JF: Yeh, I guess if you're stung by a jellyfish you won't forget it. JL: And neither will the jellyfish. JF: There has to be a German word for that sort of dream logic...This next song features the whole band. JL: The word "features" is being taffy-pulled to mean "includes." JF: It includes an ingredient found in jellyfish.

The song was "This Microphone," which I have been enjoying live (though I think there are several other songs from the album that would be even more suited to a live setting which they haven't yet played for some reason). Afterwards, Flans said they should play it again because there had been some sort of sound coming off the amp during it (I didn't hear anything). He said it reminded him of playing at the 9:30 Club, "where the PA liked to jam with us." Then a couple of crew guys came out to set up new amps, and Flans seemed pretty upset by them having to do this in the middle of the show. He said that one of them was "on the lam from the FBI" and that the other (Jon Carter, one of the very few crew members I can recognize just because he's been working with them forever) is from Vermont and is "made of pure maple syrup."

Flans said they only had a couple more songs to get through before the break between sets. John suggested they take the break now cos of the technical difficulties, but Flans didn't want to for some reason.

To kill time they started talking about Tony Robbins again. Flans said, "He doesn't have an asterisk, but I think he's icing," and that "his head and body are huge. He's going to join the Marvel team." John said he would be saying "How do you fucking feel now?," and Flans said he would be saying "Admit it, Hulk, your mom never loved you!" Then they were asking if the amp was working now and were apparently told that it had been working for several minutes. John: "They're waiting for us!"

So then they played "Hey, Mr. DJ, I Thought You Said We Had a Deal," and as usual I was completely rocking out. And then they played "Birdhouse in Your Soul," and I was thinking that I didn't know if I could handle rocking out to that one when I'd already rocked out so hard to the previous one. But rock out I did!

The second set started the usual way: the "Last Wave" video, then the Quiet Storm section beginning with "Older." John was doing the amusing/creepy pointing as he sang it thing again.

Afterwards, Flans said this section of the show features electronic drums, trumpet, and his "haunted mic chip," followed by some silly sounds.

They played "I Like Fun," then Flans introduced "Tippecanoe and Tyler Too" in a way I haven't heard him do it before. He said that these are "contentious times, troubling times" and this next song is an election song from 1840 and is "mean-spirited and super-hostile," so we should take this as evidence that things being that way now isn't new and "things get better, then they get shittier again, but that doesn't mean it's over." I thought this was an interesting way of thinking of it, and I wonder if it was part of the motivation for them bringing the song into the set.

So they played the song, and then John introduced "James K. Polk" in the same way he has been (with some variation)--by saying that this song is from WAY IN THE FUTURE of 1844, where there are "flying driverless beards" and "electric buggy whips."

After they finished, they bowed, and when they stood all the way up again John said he should finish the bow by playing a flourish on his accordion. I know he was just being silly, but I actually thought that would be cool.

Then they were joking again about the "haunted mic stand." John: "When they got home they found that the mic stand was attached to the car handle somehow!"

Then Flans said their next song was going to be from 1848, and sang the silly "Zachary Taylor has a tail" song he made up the night before. Then he said their next song was from 1852, but neither of them could remember who was president then. Someone yelled that it was Pierce. Flans said he couldn't think of anything to make up about him, and John said he was one in a string of crappy presidents. Flans asked him how, and he said he did things that were contributing factors to the start of the Civil War (I was as always quite excited to hear him showing off his intellect). Then he said his son died in a train wreck so they weren't really allowed to make fun of him, which led to some silence and nervous laughter. Flans: "I think we should take a moment of silence for how badly we're managing this part of the show. It's gone completely off the rails." (Perhaps not the best choice of words in light of what was just said...)

Then they played MY THEME SONG, and it was incredibly special and moving and emotional for me just like every other time I've seen it.

After "Istanbul," Flans started introducing "Bills, Bills, Bills." Once again he was talking about "Tubthumping" first, and some people were cheering, presumably thinking they were going to play that one instead. "For those of you not applauding, don't worry, we're not going to play that song. Because it is a song that, once heard, cannot be unheard."

After "Particle Man" and "The Famous Polka," Flans introduced "Wicked Little Critta" by saying, "Though we're from New York City, we have deep origins in New England. Haunted, cranky, emotionally unavailable New England."

Afterwards, Flans said the next song features Dan on acoustic guitar. John: "It features the word 'feature' as well." Then Flans said Marty only plays kick drum for the whole song, and they tried to talk him into playing other things but he refused.

At some point the chandeliers had turned off, and Flans was saying he wanted them to come on again. People started chanting "Jellyfish! Jellyfish!" I saw Flans saying it too, but I didn't hear him say it at the beginning and I wasn't looking at him right then, so I'm not sure if he was actually the one who started it or if it just started spontaneously in the crowd and then he picked up on it. Then he said that whoever was in charge probably wasn't going to listen because "they might think the band Jellyfish is reuniting." Then: "It's clear someone is on their break." But then they did come on and everyone cheered.

After "Number Three" and "Answer," Flans introduced "Man, It's So Loud in Here" by saying that a few months ago they'd done a Mink Car show. "We played all the songs we know how to play. We left out the ones we don't know how to play, cos we thought that might be socially awkward."

Next was "Twisting" (rocked my face off, as always), and then it was time for band intros. Flans introduced Curt, Dan, and Danny, then he said, "Well, that just about does it!" John was really amused. But then of course he did actually introduce Marty after that, he was just pretending to have forgotten him to be funny.

They closed out the main set with "Doctor Worm," which was superfun as usual.

When they came back for the first encore, they had the house lights on.

JL: Now you know how it feels for us. JF: Confess! I want to do a special long-distance dedication to the guy flipping double birds. I know where you're coming from. I just keep it inside.

Then Flans was saying that in the dressing room they have a poster from some time the Black Crowes (man, this show was just full of pop culture references that went entirely over my head) played five nights in a row, which makes it seem like not such a big deal for them to do two.

The first encore was the same as the previous two nights: "Dead" followed by "Don't Let's Start." Even though it was no longer a surprise at this point, I was still ecstatic to see them playing two of my all-time favorite songs back-to-back.

When they were backstage again between the first encore and the second, I was trying to figure out what the second encore might be. At the previous two shows it was "Doctor Worm," but they'd already played that one so that couldn't be it this time. I decided that I'd love it if it was "No One Knows My Plan," cos I really wanted to conga again.

So they came back and Flans said, "We just have one more song. It's a dance party. We're done thinking, it's time to start dancing." And then they played "The Guitar," which yeh makes a great closer and normally I would've been perfectly contented with it, but since the idea had come into my head minutes before I'd just really had my heart set on "No One Knows My Plan," and Flans's "just one more song" absolutely ruled the possibility out.

But then! But then!! They surprised me by ACTUALLY PLAYING IT!!! I was SO EXCITED. Congaing during that song is seriously THE MOST FUN FUCKING THING EVER. The first two times I got to do it the people in front of me jumped out halfway through the song and I couldn't see where I could get in again, but this time I got to do it for the whole song, and it was so fun. Towards the end two parts of the line were passing by each other and we just all started high-fiving as we went by each other, and I was thinking that we knew how to have a real good time as opposed to all the people who were just standing around watching and MISSIN' OUT. A truly fantastic ending to a fantastic show!

The all-important JL wardrobe report: the same long-sleeved black shirt as the night before for the main set, but a black-and-white stripey t-shirt for the encores.

#tmbg #show reviews

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whattimeisitintokyo · 5 years

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Chapter 35: I Could Never Hate You (PART 1)

SIIIIIIIIIGH!..........

Once again work has sapped me of all of my energy and creativity and has made me a literal zombie. Twelve hour shifts will do that to you. The good news is in a few weeks my work will go back to eight hours shifts so maybe I wont be so drained. It may not seem like a big difference but let me assure you: Those four extra hours a day make all the difference in the world!

But until the new chapter is finished I figured I would post the first part of it. It’s not much, but it includes an old friend. Hopefully I’ll finish the chapter soon, but I can’t make any promises.

Chapter 35: I Could Never Hate You (PART 1)

“This now concludes your Limbo experience with your loved one in mortal peril. Welcome back to the Land of the Dead. Please remain seated until your assigned attendant can safely remove your Limbo Lenses and motion gloves.”

With a flick of his wrist old man Chicharrón flung away the prepared pamphlet of sayings, that he really should have memorized by now after all these years but refused to do it purely out of spite, onto his desk and with a grunt hopped off his chair and out of the office. Grumbling quietly to himself he made his way over to the little girl sitting on the oversized lounge chair with that stupid contraption wrapped around her head and gloves covering her hands. ‘Very advanced technology’ some of the higher ups had told him when the Limbo Lenses were first produced. ‘We can now make the transition from life to death much faster for those stuck in Limbo. And make it peaceful too’

Advanced? Pah. Nothing advanced about ugly purple oven mitts with a thousand wires coming out the ends and what looked like lit up aviator goggles with five-foot-long antennae wobbling back and forth. It was ridiculous looking and very complicated to start up and shut down. After performing quite a few Limbo runs with other skeletons Chich should have now been able to do it in his sleep without having to consult the manual every time. But he refused to learn it. Again, out of spite.

With a few knob twists and buttons pushed steam was let out of the goggles, letting Chich safely remove them from his client. The little girl blinked rapidly, letting her eyes adjust to the natural light, while he also slipped the gloves off her hands. She clenched her phalanges thoughtfully as she stared at them, as if coming down back from reality. They were not soft light anymore, but healthy white bones. With a sigh she looked up at Chich, and flinched back at his glare.

“What?”

“What were you told to do?” Chich asked with his arms crossed as he glared at her.

“Uh…”

With a huff he turned to stomp back into his office, grab something and came back in, waving a piece of paper. “Leticia Rivera. When you signed out the forms letting you progress into Limbo, you specifically checked the LIFE box. That is to say you were going to coax your father back into the Land of the Living so he can live out his happy little life. And what were the specifications of going the life route?”

“Um…”

“Vagueness. You were told to be as vague as possible. No clues about who you are, what you want, not even if you were male or female. Just a non-threatening, anonymous entity to lead Héctor Rivera back to life. And exactly what did you say to him?”

Leti looked down at her hands sheepishly, picking at a ridge in her knuckle joint, and softly mumbled, “Feel better Papá?”

“Papá! Exactamente!” Chich paced in front of Leti and continued to grumble. “If you had checked the DEATH box, you could have called him Papá, Papi, Papita, I don’t care. But you checked LIFE. Unless he has more dead kids that I’m not aware of he would have known it was you, and would have been pulled into the Land of the Dead, which means I’d have to refile the paperwork and probably get a citation for poor Limbo management skills again. Then I’d have to go to that stupid retraining seminar and-”

“What does it matter?”

A small, teary voice interrupted Chich’s little tirade. He turned sharply towards the girl to chastise her, but his brows shot up in alarm. Leti’s mouth was in a thin trembling line and her eyes were glossy with unshed tears as she hugged herself. The angry words that had been flowing freely out of his mouth before were now stuck in his throat as he watched the little girl slightly curl forward with a sniffle.

“He won’t remember anything that happens, right? It doesn’t matter what I said. I just wanted to… somehow show him that he was safe, that he shouldn’t be afraid. That I lo… love him so much.” And much to the old skeleton’s horror, Leti covered her face with her hands and started to cry like a child.

Because that’s what she was. Not some absent-minded simpleton who barely skimmed through the instruction manual and promptly forgot the rules.

She was a child, separated from her father, who just wanted to speak to him one last time.

Mierda.

As Leti continued to gently weep, Chich made a quick dash to his office and pulled out his metal lunch kit. Flipping it open he tossed aside the sandwich and pulled out a bottle of his favorite apple soda and a freshly baked concha wrapped in a napkin. His non-existent gut clenched at the thought of losing his dessert, but desperate times called for desperate measures. Making his way back to Leta, he loudly clunked the bottle on the table next to her. Startled, the little skeleton looked up and saw the snacks sitting next to her, then looked at Chich with confusion.

“Uh… p-please remain seated for at least ten minutes after the removal of your Limbo Lenses and gloves.” Chich stammered as he tried to come up with what he hoped was legit sounding instructions off the top of his head. “Transferring from light-ball to bone can lead to some troubling side effects, including dizziness, nausea, vomiting-”

“But skeletons can’t vom-”

“Ah you’d think that, si?” Chich chuckled nervously as he scratched the back of his neck. “W-well… That’s true for normal skeletons! But when you turn into a ball of light it uh-… messes with all the bone molecules and particles and monocles… that can cause physical ailments that mimic real life illnesses. Very scientific stuff, you wouldn’t understand. But anyway, to combat this, the Department of Family Reunions offers you these complimentary snacks to aid you in your recovery.”

Leti looked at the soda and pan dulce morosely for a bit and sniffled. “I don’t feel sick. I don’t need it.”

“I am not legally allowed to let you leave without eating something. Stupid rules, I know, but trust me it will make you feel better. Here, I’ll even open the bottle for you.”

Taking the bottle from the table he jammed the mouth of it into his eye socket and squinted down hard. With a jerk he popped the cap of the bottle off, letting it fall and clatter into his skull. As he handed the bottle back to Leti he tilted his head back and spit the cap into the air, catching it neatly between two fingers.

“Woah!” Leti exclaimed as she took the soda. “I didn’t know we could do that!”

Chich chuckled as he tossed the cap into the trash bin. “When you’ve been dead as long as me you learn to get creative with your bones. Helps pass the time. Now eat up.”

They sat there quietly for a few minutes while Leti slowly ate the concha. Her amazement at Chich’s trick faded quickly and her sadness returned, making each bite look painful as she swallowed. Chich twiddled his thumbs as he watched her, his jaw clenched tightly as he tried to find something else to say to make her feel better. As he racked his brain trying to think of something, Leti again spoke up.

“I’m sorry.”

Chich blinked at her in confusion. “Que?”

Leti mumbled around the lip of the bottle. “I’m sorry I broke the rules. I didn’t mean to get you in trouble.”

“Aw.” Chich pulled the green visor from the top of his head and rubbed awkwardly on his bald skull. “You didn’t get me in trouble, and you didn’t break the rules. Look chica: the thing about viejos like me is… We feel that we’ve earned the right to be cantankerous and ornery with people. So, if any little thing bugs us, we feel that its within our rights to blow it way out of proportion. But I shouldn’t have lost my temper at a kid. And for that I’m sorry.”

Leti nodded slowly at the apology, but still looked to down-hearted for Chich’s liking. With a smile he leaned over to her. “For the record I think you did a good thing.”

Leti looked up at him. “I did?”

“Si.” Chich crossed his arms and leant back in his chair. “Most kids would want to have their parents join them in death as soon as possible. But not you. And not because you don’t love your parents, it’s because that you do. You love them enough to let them live out their natural lives. When you checked the LIFE box I was very surprised and impressed. Shows that you’re very mature.”

Leti smiled faintly at the praise. “My little brother needs his Papá.”

Chich nodded sagely, then chuckled a little to himself. “Though you did beat your Papá up, so you’re not that mature.”

Leti scoffed at him and pouted. “I didn’t beat him up! I simply… knocked some sense into him. You don’t know what he’s like. He’s pretty dense! Do you know what happened on Dia de Muertos three years ago?”

They chatted for a few more minutes, laughing at stories while Leti finished eating and Chich finished the paperwork. Once Leti signed the last form she drained the apple soda to the last drop and handed Chich the bottle.

“Gracias for the snack, Señor Chicharrón. It did help after all. All of my… monocles are in perfect working order.” She said with a smirk as she formed a circle with her fingers and held it up to her eye.

Ah, she figured it out.

“Hmmph,” Chich grunted and snatched the bottle to toss it in the bin. “You’re pretty smart for a kid.”

Leti puffed out her chest. “Well, technically I am twenty years old.”

Chich sneered. “Oh ho ho! Such a wealth of wisdom you must have then.” With a final signature he put the last paper in the outgoing folder and closed it up. “Okay chica, you’re all finished. Want me to call your abuelos to let them know you’re done?”

“Nah, they already know I’m going to Shantytown afterwards.”

Chich’s eyebrows shot up again at that. “Shantytown?”

“Si!” Leti nodded happily. “I’ve gotta go tell Nieve all about what I saw and what I did. I just know she’ll be dying to know! Or- well- you know what I mean. Adios!” A spring back in her step she made her way out the door and down the hallway. Before Chich could settle back down he heard the screech of shoes on the linoleum floor and Leti was back in the doorway. “Oh! And you’ll let me know when Tio Nesto is here?”

Chich waved her off. “Once he’s in the ground we’ll let you know, don’t worry. Go on now.”

“Great! Gracias Señor Chicharrón!” With one last smile Leti dashed out the door, leaving Chich in the peace and quiet of his office.

“Weird kid.” Chich said with a shake of his head as he pulled a newspaper out of his desk. “Who in their right mind would want to go to Shantytown?” As he settled down for his afternoon break with his paper and his lunch- now sans dessert- Chich couldn’t help but smile.

Weird kid indeed.

But very sweet too.

#coco #coco fanfiction #somos familia #chicharron #chich is a big ol softy #aint he?

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quiescentgale · 6 years

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「 • Lights ❤ forging *ﾟ N є w *ﾟ beginning @secondchanceking •」

▹ ☆ Yami ☆ ◃

✣ 「ヴェン」 ❦❧ ─ This was... not exactly the situation Ventus had expected to find himself in, when he’d promised to come back and visit Yuugi and Yami... and well... trouble seemed to either attracted to HIM or his friend. In an arena... surrounded by fire and his legs are cuffed to some holding devices as his friend Yuugi... no wait it was Yami the other one who have taken control. yeah... having learnt it was two in one body... it have taken a while to get used to, but it didn’t bother Ventus because, he’d seen stranger things in life. But this takes the cake...

“Uh....y-you... mean me and...playing cards?”

Giving that ‘Are you crazy’ look? Great Kingdom Hearts, these people take card games way too serious. And using threats and flames thrower too?! It was not like he had a choice, here the blond was just for a visit, having just barely time of reprieve before his own war at home, to dragged into a battle that certainly was mean for his friend with the outrageous hair style. “Y-you’re kidding right? I... I DON’T EVEN KNOW THE FIRST THING ABOUT THIS GAME!!” He’d certainly watched his friend played on several occasions, knowing which cards he favored, but this was just... Ventus hoped to whatever higher beings up there, that these guys doesn’t know he didn’t have a dec---

“We know you have a deck, blondie.” Siiiiiiiiigh..... busted.

"It’s inevitable you can’t turn down a duel---” And Ventus only interrupts them, well they interrupted his thought first, “I don’t have this duel disk thingy----” Oh gods... the smiles on their face was sinister enough they got that out sorted too. The young Master only pouted at Yami, with a look that says, ‘that’s some super creepy enemy you have there, buddy,’ creepy stalkers. Yikes. the other man was in no different position from himself too, cuffed by the ankle by metal holdings. Forced into some sort of... ‘tag duel’ whatever that is.

#secondchanceking #quiescentgale #Master!Ventus #((using verse 2.5 Ven for this xD #and he's so not ready for this #Ven vc: you got creepy stalker I don't envy you ;T))#((need to figure out a tag for this))#[Swift Wind Follows; Spirit of the Puzzle; Yami Yuugi]

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vowel-in-thug · 7 years

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I love all of your fics. So I can't choose one. But because funny and humorous fics are rather rare in this fandom I chose "you are the queen and i am the wolf". I was laughing so hard while reading this. Thanks for your writing. Do you plan on writing another chapter of Smallpox verse?

siiiiiiiiigh, big dick silver fic. long may it reign!

and INDEED I AM writing another smallpox and, if i must admit, what i envision as the last one. it’s taking some time for me to get off my ass with it, though, so here’s a preview to motivate myself because i thrive on tumblr likes

Silver had only been running the Three Swallows Inn for a fortnight before he was able to corral Flint and Thomas into working their nights as unpaid labor. Technically, neither of them have to pay rent anymore, but Thomas still acted like he was back in shackles, leading to Silver doing something slightly degrading to get him to stop complaining. Which turned out to be for naught, because Thomas soon realized on his own that acting as a saloon host was actually, in fact, what he’d been training for his whole life, and a month later, half the people in town now mistook him for the Inn’s real owner.

“Yes, it was lovely having you!” Thomas only sticks his head outside the front door as he waves goodbye to their final customers of the night. A light snow had begun to fall, and he only has on his thinnest jacket. “Please, come again soon and regale us some more!”

Silver sits at his piano, trying to count the day’s tabs, but he glances up when Thomas shuts the door. Thomas’s ears are pink just from the brief moment outside, and a few flakes of snow pepper his shoulders. Flint, walking by with a handful of empty mugs, takes the opportunity now they’re finally alone for the night, to give Thomas a quick, thorough kiss.

Thomas looks no less pink when Flint walks away. He’s clenching and unclenching his formerly bad hand. It’s a recent habit, though it can’t close all the way and likely never will. He will, of course, always try.

“They’re a wonderfully musical people, aren’t they?” he asks, heading behind the bar. Flint has lined up the mugs on the counter to be wiped down.

“Who?” says Silver, going back to his figures.

“The Irish!” Thomas starts pouring the dregs of ale into a larger pitcher. “This may be controversial to say as an Englishman, but I’ve always been hugely fond of the Irish.”

“Careful,” says Flint drily, putting more mugs on the bar. “They might kick you out of England for saying something like that.” When he walks by the piano, he stops to press a long kiss into the top of Silver’s head. Silver thinks he’s trying not to distract him from counting, but if so, he utterly fails at doing so.

Silver needs to figure out how to properly turn a profit from this godforsaken place, so he can hire a real manager, and give them all back their evenings together.

“What was that song they were singing?” Thomas asks the room. “It was beautiful. Like, tra - la - loola - to - la - too - traaaa. I can’t remember.”

“Every Irish song sounds like that,” Silver mutters, frowning at his numbers. He needs to be stricter about collecting his tabs. It’s just hard to keep track, once the pub is full. Maybe stomping on someone’s head in the middle of the floor will encourage people to pay up on time. He’ll float the idea by Flint later.

“You are so unbelievably talented,” Flint says to Thomas as he grabs a broom, “at many different things. But when you sing, it makes me question if you’ve ever before used your lungs, or if in fact you have any, and there aren’t just potato sacks hanging in your chest instead. You’re lucky everyone in here was too soused to hear you when you joined in with the other men, or else we would have had a riot on our hands.”

Thomas scowls at him. For a man who wants to be taken more seriously, the expression makes him look about twelve-years old. “Excuse me. I’m not a singer, I’m a doctor.”

“A doctor’s apprentice,” Silver adds.

“And you’re the singer.” Thomas leans on the bar in a way that would be better appreciated if he were facing the other way. “Come on, then, Long. Give us a tune.”

Silver knows he’s been set up, but knowing doesn’t make it any less annoying. Domesticity has weakened him. “I’m busy.”

“Oh, but you have such a lovely voice,” Thomas says, bouncing on his toes. “Please, something to entertain us while we work. While we clean up your bar for no wages or thanks.” It’s an aristocratic type of argument: from flattery to a thinly-veiled threat without pausing to take a breath.

Without looking up from his ledger or lifting his quill, Silver sighs. And then he starts, “I came home on a Saturday night, as drunk as I could be, an’ there was a horse in the stable, where my horse ought to be.”

“Oh, no.” Silver can hear Thomas’s face fall. “Not that one.”

“So I says to me wife, the curse of my life,” Silver sings loudly, “‘Explain this thing to me, whose is that horse in the stable, where my horse ought to be?’"

“It’s horrible, it’s a horrible song, why do you always have to sing such horrible songs?”

“He does this every time,” Flint says. “Why do you keep acting surprised?”

“Oh, you’re drunk you fool, you silly old fool, you’re as drunk as a cunt can be. That’s not a horse in the stable, but a milk-cow you can see!”

“I thought eventually he’d run out of these bawdy things.”

Silver knows a million of these songs and more. He’ll never run out. “Well, I’ve traveled this wide world over, ten thousand miles or more, but a milk-cow with a saddle on, I never saw before!”

The door opens, and in comes a gust of cold wind, a light flurry of snow and leaves, and a person. Thomas hadn’t locked the door.

Silver stops singing. He says, looking up, “Sorry, mate, we’re closed —” He stops.

#silverflinthamilton #black sails fanfic #smallpox #I can’t remember why i decided silver was musical in this but there ya go #hey look it’s my suffering #olincino

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kneekeyta · 7 years

Text

So, idk I just wrote this quickly. It’s…melancholy..I guess, but with a hopeful ending. Also I didn’t want to make this super long so I left a lot of it up to your own imagination to fill in what happened, Its mentioned briefly and well, yeah. Some end notes also.

only tagging @mmfdfanfic cos I’m trash. lol. sorry xx

maybe, one day you’ll call me

He’s tucked away in a corner, listening to the steady pattering of rain against the window he’s sat by. It’s dimly lit inside, mostly due to the gloominess outside. The small bulbs that hang from the ceiling over each table were of low wattage, and of course the one hovering above the table he picked, was flickering in and out. He would have laughed had he found the energy as it seemed so fitting.

Fitting that he too was trying to stay alit, to not burn out, but figured it was only a matter of time until he’d burned out completely. And even if he did, when he did, he knew that sooner or later he’d spark again, at least he had hoped.

Everything sort of paused for a moment, he no longer heard the rain, or the soft bustling about of tea cups and kettles boiling. It all sounded muffled and distant and like it was actually him that paused and everything else around him kept going, kept living, and, well, that’s how he knew she was here. She always had the effect on him.

When the chair in front of him scrapped back, everything sped up again, the rain was pounding harder and it seemed a wind kicked up some. There were distant murmurs from the other patrons, and then finally a small, distant, “Hi, Finn.” She was right in front of him but she couldn’t have sounded further away.

That’s when he always knew, they could be sitting next to each other, but it’d feel like she was a million miles away and he hated missing her while sitting right next to her.

“Alright?” he mustered up after a moment.

“Yeah, you?”

He shrugged, whilst studying his folded hands. There was still some dry blood on his thumb from when he was biting it earlier that morning. An awful nervous habit he was never quite able to kick, it was a wonder how he had any nails at all if he’s honest.

“Thanks for coming,” she mumbles.

If he were to look up he knows her eyes would be big, almost wild looking, yet, sad and shiny and well, that was one of many reason he refused to look at her.

He shrugs in response, because he doesn’t have much else to say to her. Doesn’t know what else to say, because he feels like he’s said it all too many times over and he’s exhausted. He doesn’t want to fight anymore, doesn’t want to plead anymore, he just wants to leave. Because she can’t give him what he wants, which is a better reason, a different reason, like, I don’t love you anymore, something, anything other than the one he’s heard over and over again.

“I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to…to umm,” she trails off, and releases a long breath.

It has been a while, two months to be exact, and well, that’s the longest they’d ever gone without seeing each other since they’d gotten together, even from when they were just friends.

“Just..uh here,” she says.

He doesn’t look up but hears the small slide of a box across the table top and he know what it is. He’s desperate to reach out and push it back, it’s hers, he bought it for her. He doesn’t want it back, doesn’t need the reminder of it.

The silence draws on and he thinks about just getting up and leaving, if this was all she wanted, then it’s done and he can go. He did his part and he’d very just much like to go back home.

“Aren’t you going to take it?” she asks, almost impatient, yet desperate sounding.

He shakes his head.

“Can’t you talk to me? Or at least look at me?” she asks, there’s a tremble to her voice. It was always a weak spot for him. He hated to see her upset or worse be the cause of it, but it’s not his fault this time, he did all that he could, yet it wasn’t enough.

Swallowing the lump in his throat he says, “I don’t want it.”

“I can’t keep it, Finn.”

“Do what you want with it then, it’s yours.”

“Why won’t you look at me?” the desperation in her voice causes his fingers to twitch a little but he’s not going to budge, he refuses.

“Because,” he answers.

“Do you hate me that much?” her voice is so small yet he can hear the slight crackle, and knows she’s trying not to cry.

He wants to groan, to shout, to shake her and tell her No, I love you! I will always love you! But he can’t because no matter how many times he’s told her, has showed her, expressed in every possible way he could think of, it was still never enough. And it hurt that she never fully believed how much he loved her.

“No.” he settles on answering her.

“Then please look at me!” Her voice raises some, in desperation and he almost, almost looks up, but he knows better and resists.

“I’ve given you enough, Rae. I can’t give you anymore, or I’ll have nothing left.” He can feel the tears welling up, his eyes will start to burn soon if he’s not careful.

“What’d you mean?”

Even without looking at her he can tell the movements she’s making. Can tell that she slumped back, that she looks completely lost and confused by what he’s saying. In any other circumstance he would have found it adorable and would have kissed her and explained to her the plot of what she missed. She in turn would have elbowed him with a small blushing smile and murmured how he distracted her.

“Every time we fought and you left, you took a little more of my breaking heart with you. And I can’t, Rae, there’s not much of me left, and I just can’t give you another piece…I can’t give you what I still have.” He says, and is surprised he made it through the speech without his voice cracking, because it’s right on the edge.

“I’m sorry, I’m not stronger.”

He’s heard that sentence time and time again and well, it hurts him a little more each time. Because he knows she has trouble and has in the past and always will. He just thought they’d eventually get passed the stage of her wanting to break up with him because she thought she wasn’t good enough, yet here they are. So this time, when she broke it off, he didn’t stop her or plead with her until she would come home. He just…let her go, whilst he held on to a small sliver of hope. Stupid him.

He sighs, shaking his head slightly, “You need to find a new saying cos that one is getting old.”

Desperately he wants to look at her, but he doesn’t, “We both know you were always the stronger one, between us; out of all our friends even. I thought…I thought loving you was enough, but you need to learn to love yourself, Rae. And, I know, I know it so fucking hard, but you need to.”

“Was it so horrible being with me?” she asks carefully.

He shakes his head, “No. Never. Well, only when you were breaking up with me every other week.” he laughs humorlessly.

“As much as I love you and will always love you, I just…I don’t think it will ever be enough. Because I have feelings too, Rae, and every time you’d try to break up with me, and tell me to go off and fuck someone else, someone worth my time. It hurt because I felt like I wasn’t loving you correctly or that I had done something wrong.”

“You were and you didn’t. It was me. You didn’t…you never….” She rushed but trailed off.

“You were perfect,” she mumbled.

“There ain’t no such thing, but I did my best.”

“Is that…is that why you just let me go this time? Because you felt like you failed?”

“Part of it, but more than anything I wanted you for once, to be the one to fight for me, fight for us.”

“I want to be that person, too!” she says eagerly.

He nods, softly.

“I…I..um, I went to see someone… to talk to, again.” She murmurs.

“That’s good, Rae. Really good.”

There’s a long pause and he’s not sure what else she wants him to say, he feels like he’s said all he can.

“I don’t…I still…I love you, Finn.”

He takes a deep breath because he doesn’t want to cry, he sick of crying and he’s not even sure how his eye are still able to tear up.

“I love you, too.” He says.

He scoots his chair back and stands, when she says, “Can we ever be….anything, again?”

He’s unable to help the small smile that pulls to the right, he sighs, and picks up the small velvet box, he places in her upturned hand and says, “Maybe.”

He leaves pulling his hood up over his head once he’s outside, the rain simmered to a sprinkle and for the first time in a long time he feels like he can breathe a little easier.

She had a little fight in her.

---

four months later

He’s barely inside his flat and his phone is ringing, he groans because he wanted to just flop down and sleep forever, but he knows that it could be work and he should pick up.

“Hello..”’ he answers quickly.

“Finn..”

It’s Rae.

“Yeah…”

“So, I heard you like Reggae….”

The End.

Okay, so, yeah open ending. I mean, pretty positive I think.

Also, I just wanted to write something like this because, I’m a pretty self-deprecating person like 98% of the time and its super hard for me to accept compliments and positive emotions of all sorts from people. And often you’ll find that that’s why if you happen to send me a nice message and it takes a while for me to respond is because I get quite worked up over it, it just takes a while for me to process it and be accepting of things most days. BUT I’m working on it in therapy, learning to accept the ‘love’ I’m shown/given.

But back to why I wrote this I guess, it’s just because I know that these things aren’t just one way and that you can hurt people, especially the people you care about by not accepting these small praises. And that sometimes you have to love yourself enough to fight for what you want. and so yeah.

None of this probably makes sense. siiiiiiiiigh

ANYWAY I’m done rambling hahaha just ignore me!

I’m gonna go write something fluffy now! Byeeeeeeeee

#mmfd fanfic #mmfd fanfiction #mmfdfanfic #my mad fat diary fanfic #my mad fat diary fanfiction #yes I used a HS lyric as the titel #*title #hahaha #im so pathetic #haha #it seemed fitting

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