second son
It is a second son’s nature to covet, because he had been made to be a spare. But done properly, a second son can be molded, can be made useful. Scholar, warrior, priest, he may be any of these, so long as he carves a place for himself.
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Chapter 1: a chance untaken
As a second son, Aemond was made to be molded into whatever his family needed. The king had made it clear that he was not the defender his family needed or deserved. So now, he had a need to fill, a role to follow. That in itself could come as its own relief.
The voyage back from Driftmark was almost entirely silent. His mother did not allow him to ride Vhagar on his return, not to take to the skies alongside Sunfyre and Dreamfyre. Not when he swayed with every step, veering to his blind side whenever he is allowed to walk on his own. Not when he kept his face so still, fearful of moving the stitches that held it together, pain pulsing along the whole of the wound.
But watching the pair of them take off, a matched set, beautiful scales gleaming in the noonday sun, the future king and queen on their backs, without him, without him, it brought bile to his throat, mixed with that sickly sweet taste of milk of the poppy.
His mother kept him close, but he was more comfort to her than she to him, the child that stayed close to her. And she cannot help but pale at the sight of his eye.
The only thing that brought him comfort was that great shadow of Vhagar, looming over their ship. That pride, the new strength that came to him through the bond, is a greater balm than any the maesters might have provided.
They could not find a place for her in the Dragonpit, so they must allow her to fly free. The people of King’s Landing had grown used to feeling the coolness beneath a dragon’s wings, but as they rode back to the Red Keep, there were gasps of awe as his dragon swooped over them.
Vhagar had not been seen over the city since the days of his grandfather, and she had only grown larger since then.
Yes, he wanted to shout outside the window, she’s mine, she’s mine.
He’d paid the price for her, he should be able to revel in it, he thought, just as Vhagar lets out a most excellent scream above them.
His mother started at the sound, but, like the sight of his eye, she pretended to be unfazed. She had never grown used to dragons, for all that she had birthed them. Perhaps Vhagar would change her mind, when she saw her magnificence.
He lost sight of his dragon- his, his, his,- as they entered the walls, but he knew that she was out there, as sure as he knew his heart beat in his chest.
He spent that first night walking the halls of the Red Keep, walking the familiar place with hesitant steps. He must adjust to having one eye, or else he’d be truly useless. What good would having the strongest dragon in the world be if he could not navigate with her?
When the light of his lamp began to pale, he knew he’d been up all night. And his shoulder ached, from all the times he’d hit the walls.
There must be bags under his eyes, he thought, as he joined his family around the table. He is the second to arrive, Helaena already at the table. A spider crawled between her fingers, legs weaving through them, delicate as thread.
“Qēlossa ozūndesi,” she murmurs, face screwed up, half in concentration, half in pain. “A vow, a vow in darkness and light.” *The stars stand witness.
“What vow?” he whispers. The words in Valyrian, he knows what they mean, but it must be an idiom he does not understand. He boasts a better command of the language than all the realm, but it is not his mother tongue, it is the tongue of his father's family. Maybe if he saw it written out?
"It'll be mine, soon," She mumbled, as he traced the words as glyphs on the table, trying to jar his memory.
He reached out, stopping just short of her hand, just resting on the arm of her chair. It took her a moment, but she met him halfway, squeezing his fingers in her grip.
At the sight of Aegon, crashing into the room, her grip tightens, and she hurriedly coaxed the spider back in its box.
How she hated to coop up her precious creatures, but she grieved more at the thought of them, crushed beneath Aegon's cruel boots. She has had far too much experience in the matter.
Last to arrive is their father, along with their fussing mother. He visibly sighed with relief every time he sat down somewhere. The waxy strands of his hair, clinging to his scalp, would move limply around his head as he breathed, laboriously. A sore had begun to form on his face, and it was only a matter of time before it would break open.
It is a wonder that anyone at this table has any appetite at all, Aemond thought. A diseased father, and a maimed son.
Nevertheless, when food was brought to them, they began to eat, and he chewed gingerly with his right side. Across the table, the king had done the same, father and son, disgusting mirrors of each other.
A page marched in, breathless.
The king looked so tired, even glaring, when he asked: "Who are you to be interrupting our meal?"
"An urgent message from Dragonstone, Your Grace," The page burst out, gasping, handing over the missive.
"Dragonstone?" He perked up at that, of course he did, to hear from his beloved daughter. His hands shook as he opened it and read.
Aemond, before that moment, did not think anyone could grow this pale or this red, and never in such rapid succession.
The paper crumpled in the king's tightening fist, and he smashed it on the table.
Helaena's hand flew from Aemond's grip, covering her ears.
"Your Grace, what is it?" Mother cried out, leaping to her feet.
The king could only grit his teeth, whatever remained of them.
"My love?"
"Daemon and Rhaenyra have married," he spat out. "In a secret ceremony on Dragonstone."
Mother's hand flew to her mouth. The indecency of it must have shocked her immensely. Not a month having passed between the funerals of their spouses and already remarried?
Aemond saw it for the move that it was. Now that he had Vhagar, Rhaenyra must be trying to shore up allies, in the only way she knew how. And there was no denying Daemon- and Caraxes with him- would make for fearsome allies.
"Daemon, once again, defies and insults me," his father roars.
It was so rare, to see his father as king, to see him make true commands in wroth. Now Aemond had seen it twice in the span of a month.
"Send him a raven," he snarled at the page, pointing a shaking finger. "Tell him I do not want to see him. Tell him I am done with him!"
He wiped his brow, and once again his fist slammed on the table. Helaena could not take it any longer. Ears covered, she fled the room.
"Viserys, please, calm down," Mother cajoled, but the disbelief could not be fully hidden from her face. "Viserys, you will hurt yourself!"
"Poor Rhaenys," he moaned, "To see both her children disrespected in this way, to see them go unmourned."
He turned to Aegon.
"You!" He snarled, and as usual, Aegon pointed to himself.
"Me?"
"You will have your marriage and be done with it," He said, sweeping his hand. "I cannot bear any more fucking nonsense from this family."
"You may go, Aegon, Aemond," Mother said, eyes widened. Her plans have moved quicker than she expected. She had not even asked him about Aegon and Helaena yet. "Let me discuss this with your father."
Aemond made sure his feet were steady when he left the table, and went after Helaena. She must still be overwhelmed. And he had no desire to hear his mother propose that Aegon and Helaena be wed.
"Let me be done with wedding troubles!" The king's voice echoed down the hallway as he went.
It took time for him to find her. Maegor had made sure to make so many places to hide in his Red Keep. He was incredibly grateful for his late-night explorations, now.
But find her he did, tucked behind a tapestry, sprawled on her back. She so loved the feeling of cold stone against her. It’s blank, she would say.
“Don’t disturb it.” Her voice rang out, and he let the tapestry fall with a start.
“What?” He asked through the tapestry.
“There’s a spider there. Spinning a web. It’s working quite hard, please don’t ruin it.”
“Oh.” He sat on the floor beside her then. Well, he tried to, but he misjudged the distance to the ground, so it became a bending of the knee and then a short fall to the floor. The sting on his hands was becoming a familiar feeling.
He felt half a child, with his legs crossed and back to the wall, but he made sure his new blind side was to her so he could keep an eye on the rest of the room. Sir Criston always said that a warrior must be vigilant.
“I’m going to have to marry Aegon, won’t I.” She said it like a certainty.
“Father will want it done soon,” he said, “Mother will most likely ask about it after he calms down.”
“Oh.” To the uninitiated, she would sound serene, but the amount of hopelessness in that one syllable crushed him.
“Perhaps marriage will change him,” he said, but her hopelessness was reflected in his own voice. He began to anxiously tracing Valyrian glyphs against his knee. Qēlossa ozūndesi. Qēlossa ozūndesi. Qēlossa ozūndesi. He will figure it out.
“Ozdakogon kosti,” she said dreamily.
“Skoros?” *What?
“We could run away,” she repeated. “Ēdrurzi eman, sīr Vagar emā. Ozdakogon se dīnagon kosti, heksīr Jaehaerys Alisān.” *I have Dreamfyre, now you have Vhagar. We could run and get married, like Jaehaerys and Alysanne.
He imagined it, then. Being Helaena’s husband. Flying beside her. Placing a cloak of protection over her. Being the father of her children. Perform his duty. The most lovely duty he could have.
But he had never been one for fantasy. He was too much his mother’s son, and this duty would come at the expense of another, his duty to be an obedient son.
Their father’s wroth, a king’s wroth, would be turned on them, all too grateful to be away from his favored child. Turned perhaps towards their mother, for failing to control her children, as he failed to control his. But surely turned on them for their disobedience, most likely exiling them from court.
On his own, Helaena would never be treated as she deserved, as a princess of the blood. A moment of fantasy, and he would bring suffering to those he loved most?
And his mother had suffered for him. All the goodwill she had accrued, strived for, spent all in one night, for him. How could he repay her by running away?
“Our father would not allow it,” he said finally. “And a dragon slumbers in him still.”
“I see,” she said, and peeked at him from behind the tapestry. “We must do our duty then.”
Now he remembered what her words came from. The stars bear witness to a vow of darkness and light spoken through time. Valyrian poetry. Wedding vows.
He saw then that she had never thought that they could run away. She had seen it, just as she had seen the loss of his eye. But she had just wanted to say the words.
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