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daegalfangirl · 3 years

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└> SUMMARY; based off of the song "bye my first" by nct dream, love is a little hard.

└> GENRE; angst angst angst kind of a teensy bit of fluff??? unrequited love (on both ends) bffs to strangers to friends

└> WORD COUNT; 2.4k+

└> PAIRING; donghyuck/jeno x fem!reader

└> WARNINGS; they grow up like super fast, i think theres cussing i cant remember, donghyuck has like a weird obsessive moment (but it goes away)

└> TAGLIST; @woofie-nctzen-fanarts-320 @skrtbeepbeep @tarolovebot @sunshinedhyuck @haechanswhore (BYEE OMG IM SO SORRY I FORGOT TO ADD YOU TO THE INITIAL TAGLIST 😭😭😭)

└> A/N; the angsty ass heartbreak yet the closure at the end is so UGHHHHHH i wrote this all in an hour and a half and tbh for the time spent on it im extremely satisfied. prolly my fav fic so far (mostly cus im an angst lover) but i really hope y'all like it as much as i did! also i've been super super busy this week i only got the chance to proofread once so i'm very very very sorry for the errors. i also rushed putting this together (bc again im really busy rn) so i apologize if there's anything odd. if there's an error that sticks out obnoxiously to you feel free to tell me!

part of the feelings on shuffle. collab!

ılı.lıllılıı.ıllı

↳ currently playing ;;

Bye My First... - NCT DREAM

0:56 ——•———————— 3:26

↺ << ll >> ⋮≡

ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ: ————•

Love, I only have you

When I said I'd risk my life

To prove you were my last love

That was yesterday (Woo!)

Your sobs loudly spread through the playground, as the other kids ignore your pain. There was always some crying kid at the playground everyday. Ignoring the pain of a peer was an odd normalization, but it existed at your school. No one seemed to care about your injury.

But he did.

Lee Donghyuck. He was quite popular among your peers due to his extroverted personality. He was the last person you'd expect to see when you opened your eyes.

At first you were in disbelief and thought you misunderstood because of your blurry vision from the overflowing tears.

But it was real.

"Hey, don't cry." He urged, not knowing what to do. He himself didn't know why he was here either, he'd always ignore people when they cried. It's not because he wanted to, but because he didn't know what to do.

Though, when he saw you, he felt the urge to protect you.

That was the first step into something dangerous between the two of you.

To this day you're still not sure whether you regret it or not.

It was clumsy first love

Always by your side, next to you

I followed you around everywhere, I might as well stick to you

I thought everything would work out if we did it all together

"Haechan!" You yelled while running next to your best friend. It was the last day of elementary school, and you wanted to spend the whole day with your best friend (and crush), Lee Donghyuck.

You'd miss him over the summer, he always brightened your day. He felt the same way as well, both of you clinging to each other the whole day.

"You know... It's a different school and stuff. We won't forget about each other Hyuckie, right?" You asked, twiddling with your fingers in worry. "Of course not, we'll always be best friends Y/n." He said as the both of you hugged each other, not wanting to let go.

You'd never let go of him, or so you thought.

Oh, how much simpler it was to be young and careless.

"We have new neighbors Y/n, and they have a son your age. I know you've been missing Donghyuck, so why don't you try to make a new friend?" Your mother urged, saddened by your unhappy state ever since the summer started.

"But mommy... no one will ever replace Donghyuck." You said tearing up. You had really grown a connection with your “best friend”, and it was quite noticeable.

God, were you a sensitive child.

"I'm not telling you to replace him baby, just make a new friend!" She tried once again, hoping you'd follow through with her request.

You mumbled a small fine before going back to your room to put on some shoes. You washed away all your worries, wanting to experience some happiness over the summer.

You opened the door and walked out. You twiddled with your fingers in nervousness, that being one of your most annoying habits. You walked out, and as soon as you went out your eyes met familiar ones.

Haechan?

Haechan!

The both of you ran towards each other, falling on the grass with your bodies attached in a comforting hug. You both laughed and brushed off the grass from your clothes.

"Why are you here Haechan??" You asked, completely confused. How did he know where you lived?? Isn't that a little cree-

"I moved here! I didn't even know you lived here Y/n, but I'm happy." He says clapping his hands, excited for what the summer brings between the two of you.

A summer full of Haechan was exactly what you wanted! You were glad to have your best friend live next door, as it opened more doors for your friendship.

Although, a summer full of Donghyuck was not what you needed for the future.

Those were the days of youth, it was like a movie

The anxiety that's been closely followed by love

I thought I grew up

What do I do?

All those times were memories

It all passed by

6th grade. In 5th grade you were at the top of the chain at the school. Now you begin once again at the bottom. You're finally growing up, something you didn't expect to hit so soon.

Growing up? You're so funny Y/n.

You and Haechan didn't have any classes together, only sharing the same homeroom. It was a bit disheartening, but you knew you guys would still be glued together.

Yeah, you sure knew...

"Y/n, guess what?" Donghyuck said as he ran up to you, clearly in a bright mood. You were happy to see him happy, expecting some great news. You nodded at him and smiled.

"I have a girlfriend!"

The words you've dreaded and hoped to never come out of his mouth.

It was going to happen, was it not? But why so soon....

He was your best friend. Stop overstepping your boundaries Y/n, know your place. You're being selfish, you scolded yourself mentally.

Be happy for him, his happiness is yours.

You nodded and smiled at him, not knowing what else to say. "Do you wanna meet her?" He asked, wanting his best friend and girlfriend to get along. "Sure!" You said, getting up.

"She's in our homeroom, over here!" He said dragging you by your hand. "Hey, Luna, this is my best friend Y/n." Donghyuck said introducing the both of you to each other.

You could detect her scowl from a mile away, her eyes glaring at you and Haechan’s intertwined hands. You looked back at Haechan, clearly oblivious to her reaction.

Couldn't he date someone nicer? It could've been so much easier for you.

They'll break up after a couple weeks, middle school relationships never last.

Their relationship definitely lasted longer than it should have.

Baby (Baby)

I'm really gonna go crazy (Crazy)

Because I fell for you

And all I knew was straight ahead

Donghyuck didn't know what to do.

"Stop being friends with her." The words rang in his head constantly, as he weighed out his options. He couldn't do this to her, not Luna, she was his first girlfriend. He wanted to her to be his first and last

God, what a fucking mistake on his end.

"We can't be friends anymore." Donghyuck said, not bothering to make eye contact with you. Your heart shattered with his words. Why? Why would he do this?

You knew exactly why.

Donghyuck and Luna have been dating on and off since 6th grade, it's now 9th grade. There was always one common subject in their arguments that led to breakups.

You.

You should've known sooner, but it's still a major letdown. You didn't know whether to be disappointed in yourself or Donghyuck. "Okay." You sighed, holding your tears.

"Huh? Really?" Donghyuck said, finally turning to make eye contact with you. Your eyes were never something he could decipher, maybe that's why he was so attracted to you-

-as a friend of course.

Your eyes looked dull, but he couldn't tell what you were feeling in the moment. "It was expected of you, Haechan. You've been avoiding me recently, and it doesn't take a genius to know why." You explained.

"I know you'll be fine. You were turning away from me to hang out with those basketball boys anyways, not that I dislike them." You answered before walking away.

He didn't deserve to see your tears. You're a strong girl, are you not?

You didn't want to hear what he had to say, you didn't even want to hear an apology. You knew Haechan, correction, Donghyuck pitied you in this moment.

You don't need his pity. If he really cared he wouldn't have done this.

All these years so in love with a boy that never cared to love you back, so it felt.

Yeah, now you know how heartbreak feels like.

It's whatever, so so

I guess this is it

I wanted to do better

I still don't know

I've only went this far

(Love is a little hard)

You never opened your curtains. Not once, never again. Your window pointed straight to Donghyuck's room, and you didn't need to be constantly reminded.

You remember when you made the mistake of opening your curtains, you saw Luna in his room, giggling. As soon as she saw you, her laughs amplified.

It was sad. You knew what she was trying to do, yet it still worked.

She knew how to remind you that you've lost, and you let her step on top of you. She won, that's all that mattered in her eyes.

It was all a major reality check, because Donghyuck didn't care. He never did. He never cared about you, not since day 1.

He saved you from that playground, only from mere infatuation. You weren't a fool, you noticed it. He never cared about you, he was just interested in the idea of having a friend like you.

What a piece of shit.

Never, never again.

Donghyuck felt like absolute shit. He had never seen or heard of you after that. Of course he noticed how your curtains were always closed, how could he not?

He asked the Neo basketball team for advice, not knowing what to do. He missed your friendship, he missed you.

How could he have been so inconsiderate?

He remembers how the Neo basketball team looked at him when he explained the story, criticizing him. Taeyong had to be the one to tell everyone to stop, but he shouldn't have.

He knew he deserved it.

He laid on his bed that night. Body facing the window, the one which you shared many memories communicating.

 That night he cried.

For the first time in his life, Lee Donghyuck cried for you.

That's right, I'm so so

Maybe I'm young-minded

I didn't want to be caught

A secret only I know

I'll bury it here

(Love is a little hard)

Donghyuck was popular, he'd been popular his whole life. Not only that, he was commonly crushed around campus. Too bad though, because everyone knew he was Luna's boyfriend.

He knew that everyone viewed him in his relationship as Luna's boyfriend.

Duh, obviously. They were dating. But why did Donghyuck hate the label so much?

The answer was obvious, but he’d never accept the truth. It's far too late.

Today was another realization for Donghyuck. He walked into the library, or almost did. He stopped once he heard Luna's voice. He hoisted the door to the library slightly open so that he could hear what was being said.

"Awe, all alone now aren't you? No Donghyuck to stay by your lonely side? Not anymore.” Luna said, taunting you.

Haechan didn't have to think twice to know who Luna was talking to.

You hummed softly, giving her minimal attention. Luna was unhappy by your response, or lack thereof. "No reaction? Someone’s being a little bold." Luna scowled.

You once again failed to give her any attention. Haechan noticed how the situation was escalating and took the risk of being seen by one of you.

He had to see what was going on, and he decided to peep his head through the door to look at the scene.

You had been intentionally ignoring Luna everytime she tried insulting you, because you knew she always wanted a reaction from you. It reassured her, a win in her eyes.

Luna had enough with you. She had quite the short temper, which wasn't much of a secret to the school. Haechan had never seen her try to get violent, not until now.

She raised her hand, now milliseconds away from slapping you.

That memory will forever be ingrained in his mind, the moment he realized he didn't protect you. He hurt you, he witnessed someone he (thought he) loved try to do the same.

He felt pathetic as he walked away from the library, not bothering to intervene. He decided to keep it to himself, a rather painful secret.

Why did things have to get so complicated?

Ooh, I know as much as everyone else

Now, I'm not

Young anymore

I told you to trust me

Endless love

Someone in your heart

Don't get carried away

It's eventually stop

Junior year. Oh how time passes by so quickly.

Haechan didn't expect to walk into his class on the first day to see you and Jeno laughing. One of his own best friends, how could Jeno do this to him?

All he saw was red. He was lucky that Jaemin stopped him before he did anything he’d regret.

"I'm so fucking tired of this Donghyuck." Jaemin said, clearly about to burst. "Grow the fuck up. She's not yours, she never was. You treated her like shit and now you're angry someone's making her happy again? I don’t wanna get involved in something that has nothing to do with me, but I knew if I didn't pull you back you would've hurt my best friend. I’m not letting that happen, not in my eyes again.."

Jaemin was so right, Haechan couldn't even correct him. It was the truth.

That day, he broke up with Luna.

It's time he starts a new beginning, but he couldn't let go of you, not just yet.

He wanted you back in his life again.

You said I was the only one in the world

But let go of my hand

And I stupidly held onto those days

I truly knew nothing

Such a pure first and last

It all passed by

It was official, the day he had always dreaded. You were officially star basketball player Lee Jeno's girlfriend.

Donghyuck knocked at your door, expecting your mother to open the door. Of course things didn't go according to plan, because Lee fucking Jeno opened the door.

"Huh? Donghyuck? Why are you here." Jeno asked, confused.

You were in the kitchen and as soon as you heard his name you got up in confusion and walked to the door.

It had been so long, too long since the two of you had spoken to one another. "Why are you here, Donghyuck?" You asked in confusion. He could see the way your eyes dulled when you looked at him, and it hurt so much. He deserved it though, he really did. "Let's talk, in private." He said, not wanting to confront you in front of Jeno.

"Okay." You said as Jeno walked back in, you following him outside.

Baby (Baby)

My heart has changed (Heart)

If I don't say something

You'll never notice

"What did you need?" You asked Donghyuck uninterestedly, but still not as bothered as you'd expected. Neither of you felt as if you were prepared for this moment, the closure.

This was the end. The end of you and Donghyuck’s chapter of failed romance.

"I want to try again-" Before silence could pass after his words you laughed loudly. He would've enjoyed the giggle if it was in any other context.

"Now? After how many years? Donghyuck, I don't know what makes you think I'm so easy to get but it's honestly really weird. I thought you'd be happy for me, no?" You asked, utterly confused yet amused.

You sighed, finally deciding to take this seriously. Both of you needed this closure. "Donghyuck I'm thankful for everything, you were my first love. For 7 years I was head over heels for you, but I was too optimistic when it came to my trust in you. I think it's time we both let go and just settle down as friends. I'm sorry it had to be this way, but what's done is done. I'm happy, and I don't want to hurt mine and Jeno's feelings just for your own satisfaction. I love you so much, but I know you can find someone so much better. Please move on, because I have and I don't want to see you in pain. Maybe if things were different we could've been together, maybe if you didn't break my heart.”

Those were the words he needed. It's time.

It's time to let go.

The both of you cried in each other's arms, it was a goodbye to the past and a hello to your present.

"Thank you for everything." You said in a broken voice as Haechan nodded, not wanting to speak knowing his voice would break.

The pain the both of you suffered was immeasurable, but it's what brings you to beautiful moments like these.

Now you're both finally growing up.

So yeah, maybe love is a little hard.

“we’re always learning as we grow. even though we all have our painful experiences, but they shape us into who we are now. so thank you, thank you for shaping me into who i am. i will truly love you till the end. thank you for being my first love, for teaching me to let go.

from your forever best friend, y/n.”

kvydence, 2021 ❣︎

162 notes · View notes

s-nnyd · 7 years

Note

hey. all of the qs from the ask meme that apply to you. have fun

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

oh boy well with my dad most certainly not theres a lot situations where its been made obvious that im not the son he wanted but he’ll still use me as an example to show to my lil bro and also like theres a lot of cockiness too and with my mom i love her and i know she loves and supports me but a lot of that is because im her daughter and id say id have a decent relationship with my mom and i do love her

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

lmao it was you

03: Do you regret anything?

oooooooooooooooooo boi man i been thinking and like ive thought about if ive regretted ever being friends with angie and id like to say that i dont cause shes done a lot and shes given a lot to me whether it be good or bad and ive grown a lot from it and i think that if i completely erased that then i wouldnt be able to work through the things i have and like in other aspects i regret not saying “i think youre cute” to movie girl and knott’s info boy like my goodness they were both so damn cute and i really shoulda said something

04: Are you insecure?

hell yeah i am

05: What is your relationship status?

single right now and i do want to eventually date someone and have that sort of closeness and that sort of relationship where i can feel at peace and rely on someone but i honest to goodness don’t think there’s anyone for me just yet and i don’t think im in a place really to be dating anyone cause i need to resolve things before i try to start something new

06: How do you want to die?

oh man duuude okay so when we read granny weatherall i legit like had a breakdown and i started panicking cause i started thinking about death all of a sudden and like there are situations where ive considered suicide and all but like there are also the times where it feels like its looming over me so much and like i get so so scared like im scared to walk down the pier at the beach at night because it so dark and the point where you look out onto the horizon and the horizon no longer exists and and its just a void and its so dark and like i think thats how i wanna die just im walking out on the pier at midnight and just im swallowed up because i think in the last moments i think i should just confront it

07: What did you last eat?

i had these hawaiian shortbread cookies that are so dang good like mmmmmmmmmmmm

08: Played any sports?

man i used to do tennis and swimming and i would love to go back to it

09: Do you bite your nails?

nah

10: When was your last physical fight?

like one where someone was genuinely hurt? like an hour ago and it was with the ground cause i got flung off my skateboard but for real i think my last physical fight was like kinder

11: Do you like someone?

skdjashjdkashd i doooo and i should noottttt and theres a lot of things i already know that its kinda like the crush is coming from the fact that there was a lot of support and general niceness and a whooollle lot of other reasons why i should not and im looking forward to the day when this goes away

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

my goodness i have and i died

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

hmm i do but i forgot who it was

14: Do you miss someone?

yeah i kinda miss my old self but for real i really miss my cousin lynnette like i havent seen her for like two years and i really needa hang out with her eventually

15: Have any pets?

dang i wish

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

at the moment? p distressed and very in my own head like i really need a break from a lot of other things but i also need a break from myself oh! ill show you my art project that were doing later when i finish it cause like we ended up havign to do an extreme emotion self portrait of how we feel at this point in time and like its hilarious cause ppl pass by it and theyre like “dude are you okay like just looking at that makes me feel bad”

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

dkjasdh i have not but i lowkey wanna just cause

18: Are you scared of spiders?

uH YEAh

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

i would i would and if it was to relive a memory definitely if it was to redo something over differently most definitely if it was to reexperience something wihtout changing something then uh no

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

hhhhhhh oh my goodness lowkey embarrassed to say it cause weve talked about places to snog a while ago and like the last time i did was like in the bushes in the sculpture garden

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

maybe working on the death of a salesman project maybe just getting some rest im really not sure im literally living day to day at this point

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

pfft man i do not wanna have any kids like at all

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

i got two but theyve closed up already since i dont use em

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

art, a bit of dabbling in math, and then also psych like i lvoed the fuck outta that class

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

oh yeah definitely and i think about her a lot i definitely miss meleana and sometimes ill go out and theres a souvenir shop and ill look at the best friend necklaces cause she always got one for us and like i have a box just full of all the halved best friend necklaces and i wonder a lot what would have happened had we still kept contact she was a big gateway to a lot of things in my life

26: What are you craving right now?

mmm some damn relief but for real tho i want someone to run their hands through my hair and pet it and all like any of the daydreams i have are usually centered around my new haircut

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

i? dont? think? so? theres like only one of two people i know of who like ever liked me and that was jolin (the other one is this sophomore from my art class last year)

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

lol no

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

wish i could even get a date

30: What’s irritating you right now?

well i brought up the other ones in our chat and those are the main ones currently so

31: Does somebody love you?

yeah and i think in a lot of situations whether theyre friends or fam im being put on the weird pedestal

32: What is your favourite color?

OH OH OH ITS CERULEAN BLUE LIKE I KNOW ITS REAL SPECIFIC BUT LIKE THAT THAT BLUE IS SO GOOD LIKE EVERY TIME I SEE IT IN PUBLIC MY CHEST SWELLS UP AND MY LUNGS FEEL SO COLD AND THE AIR FEELS REALLY NICE AND LIKE MAN I LOVE THAT BLUE

33: Do you have trust issues?

lol yeah and in the process ive lied a lot and ive gotten so good at lying that sometimes i forget i am lying and the lines between whats truth or not get all blurry (i legit did not mean for that to come off as tumblr-esque as it did)

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

it was me just kinda floating in random space and then i was in a white room with no walls no doors no windows and i just walked around in this open blank space

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

hhhh mrs quiggle

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

sometimes i think i do

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

forgive

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

haH hAH HAH haaa.......no

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

uh i believe 13 oh wait no scratch that i was like 8

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

i needed to get the laundry so...

51: Favourite food?

prolly ramen oh or loco moco cause its so good

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

mmm i think id say i do

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

i was working on my entry for the lawyer firm art contest

54: Is cheating ever okay?

hell no

55: Are you mean?

i think so cruel even just cause i know so much and i think people who know and understand and think so much are in general dangerous cause they calculate their actions and sometimes that scares me cause i cant tell if im doing it on purpose or not but just in general yeah im mean like too many shits are just not given

56: How many people have you fist fought?

like? uh? i think maybe two and both times were when i was like 8 or 9

57: Do you believe in true love?

mmm i do i do and i think a lot of that true love stems from a relationship based on communication, honesty, trust, and a really good friendship as a foundation

58: Favourite weather?

oooOOOOOO okay so do you remember that one time it was raining hard as fuck like sophomore year like i know its real vague but it was legit pouring and like it was actually so bad that everyone adn i mean everyone went into the library to get some form of shelter and there were people who were soaked to the bone and peoples umbrellas were getting broken cause it was so cold rainy and windy like that that kinda weather is my fave

59: Do you like the snow?

uh i think i do?

60: Do you wanna get married?

hell yeah

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

mmmm i get a lil weird on that but i think some of my favorite ones are like being called “love” like “whats going on love” or “you look good today love” like mmm i eat that shit up

62: What makes you happy?

man legend of zelda is makign me so damn happy rn like it legit means so damn much to me adn like theres so much i lvoe about it and i just lvoe talking about it and anything about it in general and like also skateboarding has been making me real happy lately like ive never loved getting hurt more and like that sounds really bad and like my left knee’s nerves are totally shot cause i fell straight on it and messed it up cause i was skating but like theres just soemthing about feeling more within my own body because im gettin some form of physical activity adn im getting hurt adn its like its a reality in its own way and like i really love it and i super love when i get to cruise like it feels so damn esp with my hair now and also what makes me happy is the ppl i find cute every now and then like its genuinely such a nice experience and oh oh i just wanted to talk about it jsut cause but like whenever i get a crush i get real excited and real happy cause like i love getting them gifts and seeing the surprise and the happiness on their faces cause its like oh you thought of me and oh its somehting i really love and like it makes them happy for that glimpse of a moment and like i love talking to them and like when they tell me about things they like or their passionate about its so nice to hear cause its like yes yes yes i support you and i love you i love seeing you happy and like just seeing your brightens my day and like even if i do confess and i do get rejected ive been mroe than lucky cause its like the people i have confessed to have been so gentle with the rejection and so kind with it and its like oh no!! like yes im sad that we couldnt be more but like thank you!!! thank you so much for letting me love you adn letting me give you so much thank you for brightening my days up and lettign me see your smiles and hear your laughs like thank you so much im so glad i could crush on you and like thats another thing that makes me happy and like theres probably a lot more that i could talk about but i think ill leave at that for now

63: Would you change your name?

i been actually thinking about it for a while adn in the times that i have considered it i usually use a game with the customizable name to try it out and like at some point i used Elle and then i tried Lynn and like i dunno im really not too sure and maybe if other names come in the future ill test those out cause truly it doesnt feel like my name is my own

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

mm yeah id think so cause theres stuff we were supposed to talk about that we didnt and uhh yeah

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

say “thanks im really flattered but i really dont think im in a place right now where i should get into a relationship”

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

lmao no

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

uhh the guy at the receptionist desk when i went in to submit my entry for the art contest

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

lol if what we talked about wasnt deep and it wasnt you then itd be mrs quiggle

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

fuck yeah

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

i dont think so like i wouldnt even die for myself

#thanks jae #this really was a good breather and it made a lot of things feel better #sickinthesoul

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skittles-pixie · 7 years

Text

85 statements

R U L E S : you must answer these eighty five statements and tag twenty people

I was tagged by the always wonderful @essentiallychaotic

I would like to tag: dude idk if I know 20 people to tag but ill try... if I tag you and you don't want me to please tell me @iridescentautistic @mybloodyplacemats @wanderer-and-muse @standswithpotatos @alaskanomad @melodychanges @happydance416 uuuuuuh idk that's 7? lol @everyone that works right?

Part 1: the last:

drink: Twist up its a lemon lime soda... idk I asked my boy for a drink and that's what he brought me

phone call: My mother she woke me up two days ago

text message: to me- my mother.... from me- my coworker

song you listened to: Brittany spears toxic started playing on the radio when I got home from work

time you cried: Last night... combination of hormones and touchy feely movie... hormones suck...

Part 2: Ever:

dated someone twice: uh ive been on more than one date with my boy... otherwise my dating history is a little unclear... several guys who acted like we were dating and then refused to actually call it a date... so yeah idk...

kissed someone and regretted it: ooooooooh yeah..... alcohol is bad for you kids......

been cheated on: nope... ive only been in the one relationship and I have a very loyal boy

lost someone special: yes... both in passing away and by loosing touch....

been depressed: been? as in passed tense... lol try still depressed... ive learned how to handle it though, and it helps to have an outlet that's not controlled by my mother, and people who care about me. and to not be told how terrible I am every 5 minutes.

gotten drunk and thrown up: I had a crazy 21st birthday.... after that I try not to get that drunk... but it happens on occasion... lol

Part 3: Favourite colours: ALL OF THEM!!! I really like colors.. though green, blue, and blood red are prolly my top colors...

Part 4: In the last year have you:

made new friends: yes.... more like my boy made friends and introduced me, but yeah I always meet new people

fallen out of love: Naw I love my boy too much

laughed until you cried: yeeeeah.... I laugh a lot lol....

found out someone was talking about you: yeah apparently people talk about me a lot “oh yeah I know who you are” is a phrase I hear a lot when meeting people... also I guess my boy talks about me? but from what I hear people usually say good things

met someone who changed you: yeah ive spent some time getting to know myself better

found out who your friends are: yeah.... and in the process ive lost almost all of them, but I'm done trying too hard to get people to like me. I want to be invited out not just kinda sorta included but only if somebody else takes me. So yeah... long story short I found out that my friends are simply not....lol... I do still have the good ones though....

kissed someone on your facebook list: don't have facebook.... if I did it would prolly be yes though lol....

Part 5: General:

how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: yeah still don't have facebook

do you have any pets: Theyre not really mine, but I live with 2 doggos

do you want to change your name: when I was little I wanted to change my name... I wanted something more pretty like rose or diamond.... but now I'm pretty happy with my name... would only change my last name if the occasion called for it....

what did you do for your last birthday: If I remember right I went to my physics class and then chilled in the empty cabin.... my boys aunt and uncle were visiting from Germany and got me a cake and a couple of presents... but on the actual day of my birthday I was pretty much alone... but birthdays are gross anyway

what time did you wake up: 1 pm lol... I'm too much of a night owl

what were you doing at midnight last night: I was finishing my movie and playing with my phone... I wanted to snap about how the sunlight in Alaska makes fireworks a bummer for the 4th, but I was too lazy lol

name something you can’t wait for: not having schoolwork.... I'm so glad to be done.....

when was the last time you saw your mom: may when she came up for my graduation... it wasn't too bad... she only put me down once....

what are you listening to right now: bobs burgers.... my boys watching it

have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yes.... I have a friend named tom.... we don't talk very often... but hes still my friend....

something that is getting on your nerves: my one coworker.... he pisses me off...

most visited website: tumblr.... or Netflix....

hair colour: blonde... which is kinda an ombre cause I dye it lighter and then let it grow out and then repeat so its always lightest on the bottem lol... though I'm trying to let it grow out for a bit...

do you have a crush on someone: my booooooooooooy (please read that in a super cheasy sappy sarcastic tone)

what do you like about yourself: that's a tough question... lol... But I like my ability to be stubborn... It helps me work hard to get what I want and be a better person.... and I get to prove people wrong which is great because so many people have told me that I would never really succeed because the odds were too stacked against me...

piercings: don't have any... have considered earings.. but nah....

blood type: yeah... no idea

nickname: cece ce Cebu skittles pixie.....

relationship status: dating and hopeful for the future cause this is a very good one...

zodiac: leo

pronouns: She/Her

favourite tv show: Gilmore Girls, buffy, charmed, x files.... idk I watch a lot of shows...

tattoos: I absolutely love them... but my fear of needles and my indecisiveness mean that I don't have any nor any plans to get one... but I love henna...

right or left handed: right handed when it comes to writing... but ambidextrous for just about anything else...

piercing: no.

sport: uuuuh I don't follow any major teams or anything... but I'm always down to watch baseball, basketball, hockey, or soccer... ill gladly play any sport but I'm sorely out of shape lol and I don't always know all the rules... football still confuses me...

vacation: everywhere lol.... but right now Germany, Ireland, las vagas, japan, or just taking time off to travel around Europe in general, are all at the top of my list.....

pair of trainers: ????? idk????

Part 6: more general :

eating: Most food is good... I will prolly die if you ever feed me spicy food tho

. drinking: water, iced tea, hot tea, coffee, some soda but not very much or very often, milk, alcohol...

I’m about to: prolly go to bed so I don't die working the morning shift tomorrow

waiting for: it to be dark at night again lol...

want: my degree, a job that utilizes that degree, my own place.

get married: one day. ive got some time before anything happens... but I found my person....

career: Chemistry.... in Alaska.... man I'm still piecing that one together.... but environmental chemistry is super cool... and id love to work with the Alaskan environment, to keep it safe and clean and to better understand how it works

hugs or kisses: both... but mainly hugs... I'm a very touch oriented person....

lips or eyes: lips... idk why cause I love eyes too... but I'm fascinated with how peoples lips look.... like I never understood those superhero masks that just cover their eyes because I always recognize people by their lips and how they talk

shorter or taller: taller....... when I'm around tall people I feel smaller and that makes me happy... plus like.. they can reach the shit that I cant lol...

older or younger: I'm sooo old...... not really but sometimes I feel like it so idk lol

nice arms or nice stomach: arms... always.... especially shoulders...

hook up or relationship: uh before my current relationship I was totally all for either though I focused mainly on hook ups... but now I'm content with the relationship thing....

troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker... definitely... but usually its a good thing.... I never much cared for rules...

kissed a stranger: oh yeah... many times...

drank hard liquor: yup... do it a lot... but life in Alaska....

lost glasses or contact lenses: forgot where I put them a few times... but always found them... break glasses a lot tho....

turned someone down: yeeeeah... guys usually don't respond well... I know... big surprise...

sex on the first date: yup... i love sex....

broken someone’s heart: yeah.... it was terrifying... i vaguely knew him through mutual friends and similar activities... he asked to be my valentine when id told him that id never had one before ... valentines was about two weeks away... we saw each other for like a week... he had my entire future planned out for me... and i couldn't get passed the fact that he was 14 years older than me.... when i told him things weren't gonna work he broke down bawling.... and our mutual friends told me how bad he was after the conversation....

had your heart broken: yeah... and then toyed with... it was fuuuuuun.......

been arrested: no I'm an good kid who can do nothing wrong... and anytime ive done anything illegal i was always with people who took all the attention off of me....

cried when someone died: yeah... ive known too many people that have died....

fallen for a friend: yup... it didn't work out

Part 7: do you believe in:

yourself: Its a work in progress lol.

miracles: yes. This world is not always as terrible as the people who inhabit it...

love at first sight: you know... i never used to believe in it... but then i met my boy and i swear to god it was like i saw the puzzle pieces of my life fall into place around me... we were pretty drunk but to this day i still cant explain why i had such a strong urge to meet this man. why i insisted that he had to play pool with us... we already had more than enough people to play... but he had to be there with us.... and from that moment on my life has just gotten better and better....

Santa Claus: I guess... more like i believe that once upon a time he exsisted....

kiss on the first date: yes... again I'm a very touch oriented person....

angels: I think theres a lot of things out there that we do not understand and we are not ment to... so yeah i think angels exist...

Part 8: Other:

current best friend’s name:

Mckenzi is my go to... but Daniel is also my best friend.... I have a few others too like maddi... but if i named everyone then id be naming like all my friends and that would make me sad because I'm too social to have such a small social group lol....

eye colour: blue....

Favourite movie: depends on my mood... but i can never really pick a favorite...

#personal #tagged #oh god this is long #lol #enjoy #long post

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