#its okay i still appreciate all of you no matter what content you followed me for - i esp. appreciate all the friends ive made <:)

[youredreamingofroo]

everytime im like "man why tf do people even follow me" i remember that most of you are just here for my stupid ocs *flails hands around Roo and Leo too ig*, another chunk of you are here for my renders, and a few of you are either here because you like the shit i reblog or you followed me during the boopening

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Someone New 4

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include angst, pining, romcom tropes, and some darker elements later in the series. Some triggers may not be specifically tagged. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This fic will contain explicit content. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You’ve had a crush on your best friend for years, but you’re slapped in the face with reality when he takes things to the next level with his girlfriend.

Characters: Steve Rogers, Thor

Note: I got like insanely sick suddenly and I still feel off.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

“Sam, that paradise punch was a bad idea,” you groan as you struggle to get your bag out of the trunk of the taxi. 

“Whatever,” Sam slurs as he comes around, “I tipped the driver extra. Bud, you think you can get this out for the lady?” 

The driver is all to helpful as he comes around you take the handle from you and swiftly plants the bag on its wheels. It’s everything you have that isn’t bundled up into storage or sacrificed to the dumpster. You thank the man and swallow a belch. 

“Have a safe trip, miss,” the driver nods and turns to slap Sam’s arm, “and you, sir.” 

Sam salutes the man and pushes away from the cab, your carry-on slung from his shoulder. The two of you clumsily lift the bag over the curb. You look up at the airport as the roar of jet engines cuts through the dusky air. 

“I feel like I’m drunker,” Sam snickers. 

“Uh huh, me too,” you murmur. Two hours on his couch was barely enough. If anything, it’s just set your vision askew. “They’re not gonna let me board if – hiccup—I'm blasted.” 

“Don’t worry, we can get water,” he blathers and yanks your bag onto its wheels, “off to the land of vikings! Skol!” 

“Skol?” You follow him in a clamour. 

“It’s what they say, isn’t it?” He chuckles, “I saw it on a show or whatever.” 

“I... yeah, usually while they drink, not stumbling drunk,” you rebuff. 

“Sound pretty sober to me with all that whining,” he rebukes. 

“Whatever,” you roll your eyes and follow him through the automatic doors. 

He veers off and you follow him in confusion, glancing back at the check-in counter. He stops before a bright vending machine and feels around in his pocket. He taps his card and focuses intently on pressing the button. 

“Waterrrrr,” he drones and leans on the machine to reach through the slot. 

He hands it over and you unscrew the cap. You chug half the bottle and let out an obnoxious belch. You cover your mouth in embarrassment and offer him the rest. He finishes it off and you linger by the machine as you let the cool flow settle in. 

“Feel any better?” He asks. 

“A little. I’ll have a coffee on the plane.” 

“Nah, you should sleep.” 

“Maybe,” you take out your phone and tap the side button. Nothing. 

“Anything from Mr. Carter?” Sam asks. 

“No,” you black the screen and shrug. “Come on, I gotta check my bag.” 

“You should check that boy,” he blathers as he stands straight and once more yanks the bag after you, “tell him what’s what.” 

“Sam, he’s busy--” 

“He’s your best friend! At least, he likes to say so then do nothing.” 

“Quit,” you beg him, “this is hard enough.” 

“This is what you need--” 

“I know!” You throw your hands up and face him as you come up before the counter. “I know. Okay. I’m stupid and---” you shake your head and let the truth sink back into the depths of your soul. You face the clerk and sigh, “I’m sorry, I’m here to check my bag.” 

You pull out your wallet and slide your passport across the counter. You show your boarding pass and pay for the extra weight. Your bid a safe journey and carry on with only the smaller bag still on Sam’s shoulder. 

Wordlessly, you sit in a row of seats. You look up at the clock. You’ll have to go to the boarding area sooner than later. He won’t be able to come with you. 

“Sam, I’m sorry. I just... is it that obvious?” You croak. 

He puts his hand on your back and rubs it gently. It’s soothing. The tension trickles down your sides and seeps out. It feels good to admit it aloud yet mortifying just the same. 

“No, I just sense these things. I know Steve, I know you, and I know he doesn’t deserve you. Even as just friends.” 

“Ugh,” you put your head in your hands, “I am so stupid.” 

“No, you’re not. You’re human. It stinks. Our brains, our hearts, they aren’t logical, as much as we like to pretend,” he huffs, “trust me. We’ve all been there and if we haven’t, we’ll get our turn.” 

“Yeah, I guess,” you sit up as your eyes glisten, “I just... he said he’d be here. I thought I’d at least get that--” 

Your name echoes through the airy space and you wince. Right on cue, just before you can collapse completely. You turn as Steve rushes toward you. He wears jeans and grey sweatshirt. He remembered! 

You stand as Sam sighs. You smile, only halfway before you see the figure trailing behind him. Peggy looks less than excited to be there. Her sleepy lashes flutter as her wave hair is pinned back in a messy chignon, still elegant despite the carelessness. She wears a dark green trench over a silver satin nightie. She must’ve rushed out with him. 

“Hey,” Steve nears, “sorry I couldn’t make it for drinks, but I couldn’t miss take-off.” 

“Mmm, they don’t have any afternoon flights,” Peggy mutters. 

“They do but landing doesn’t line up with the train,” you shrug and glance at her briefly. Her glare darts back at you. You wonder if that work dinner was so impromptu after all. 

“Are you excited?” Steve drops into the seat next to you. 

“Uh, yeah, nervous,” you smile as the weight lightens from your chest. He came. Maybe Sam is wrong. Maybe friends isn’t that bad. 

“It’s going to be great. You have to send me updates, oh, and I’ll be sure to send you all the wedding news!” He grins, “I still can’t believe you’re going to be so far away.” 

“It’s a good opportunity,” Peggy intones as she sits on his other side, resting her hand on his forearm, “in her line of work, I’m sure they don’t come often.” 

You press your lips tight and look down, “yeah, not really.” 

“She can get out. Make new friends. Some girl friends, maybe,” Peggy remarks. 

“I’m sure she’ll make all the friends,” Sam interjects, “I hear there isn’t much sunlight over there, she’ll be a breath of fresh air for those grumpy vikings.” 

“Mm, yes,” Peggy grumbles as she trails her hand down to Steve’s. “Too bad you won’t make the engagement party.” 

“Or the wedding,” Steve adds. 

“Well, we’ve a full wedding party as it is,” she shrugs. “There’ll be lots of pictures.” 

“Right, yeah, I’m sorry to miss it all,” you frown. “I...” you sit back and nearly choke, “I’m gonna hit the bathroom.” 

You stand as Sam puffs out heavily and to your surprise, Peggy swiftly gets to her feet, suddenly very awake. Your soberness is setting in along with a pulsing headache. You really don’t want to deal with her. If you knew he’d bring her, you’d have told Steve to stay home. 

“I’ll come with you. I’m splitting at the seams,” she trills. 

“Alright,” you agree with a tint of uncertainty. 

She twirls and you walk parallel to her towards the bathroom signs. You chalk it up to the feminine habit. It isn’t unusual to visit the toilets in pairs, even without much kinship between you. It does however spoil your attempt at respite. You less so want to empty your bladder than clear your mind. 

You don’t say a word as you enter the bathroom. You go into a stall and she does the same. Your mind clogs your biology and you have to sit and focus before you can get a flow going. By the time you’re trickling into the bowl, she’s done. A toilet flushes and you hear her unlatch the door and approach the sinks. 

She’s in heels, even at this hour. The sink sprays out water and you listen to her hum as she washes her hands. You finish up and flush, coming out meekly to use the sink next to her. You focus on the simple task as she watches you in the mirror. 

Sensing her gaze, you look up and pull your hands out from under the censor-activated faucet. You meet her eyes and nearly wince at the steely intensity. You stand straight and move past her to retrieve some paper towel. 

“This is a wise decision,” she says, “well-needed.” 

You look at her again as you dry your hands, “thanks.” 

“Oh, I’m not congratulating you. About time you got some sense,” she sneers. 

You wince and crumple up the towel. You drop it in the bin and cross your arms, “okay, well...” 

“It’s better you’re not here for any of it. He doesn’t need the distraction.” 

You chew the inside of your lip as venom drips from her voice. You’re still slightly tipsy and too tired to process this. You have no response. 

“The distance will help you get over it. Finally,” she snips, “you know, I thought it was almost endearing at first then it just became pathetic.” 

You swallow. You’re humiliated that even she could see right through you. You can hardly blame her for her spite. After all, she’s his fiancée, not you. 

“He thinks it’s silly. He laughs.” 

You flinch then. Hard. Your chest rents and your stomach boils. 

“He knows. It’s obvious. I mean, it’s convenient, isn’t it? You’ll do anything for him and really it was rather helpful. Took a lot off my plate and his but it’s time for all of us to grow up. I will be his wife and he doesn’t need some girl to measure out his laundry detergent or remind him to eat.” 

You blink and look away. You cross your arms and push your shoulders up, “got it.” 

“So why don’t you go ahead and just put him on mute now?” 

“Peggy,” you whisper. 

“We’re getting married. You know you can’t stop it, that’s why you’re running away. So end it.” 

“You don’t have to be cruel,” you mutter. 

“I could be horrid. I could have been for all these years. I believe I’ve had remarkable restraint with you,” she points a manicured nail at you, “you should be thanking me for having the grace to do this in private.” 

Your lip trembles and your cheeks tug painfully. You nod and turn away, “don’t worry, Peg, you won’t hear from me. He won’t either.” You make your way to the door, “I wish you both the best.” 

“Mm, I pray you find some clarity and perhaps some maturity along the way,” she retorts as she follows you, heels clicking loudly across the tile, “perhaps you might find someone too. Someone you deserve.” 

Her last words sting. The derision is pungent enough to make your nose crinkle. Someone you deserve... because you could never ever be good enough for Steve Rogers. 

💟

You don’t look back as you go through the gate. You can’t. It’s too painful. The tears have receded but the pain is only deeper. Peggy’s words reverberate in your head, nipping at your ears as your nape burns hotter and hotter. 

She’s right. Sam too. This is overdue. It’s exactly what you need to do. You know it. It’s the reason you chose this. That moment when you were faced with being the eternal wobbly third wheel, you made up your mind. It’s over. That part of your life is behind you, but you don’t know that you’ll ever stop feeling this way. 

It’s hard to settle in your seat, even knowing you have ten hours of flying ahead of you. Disembarking alone will be another hour at least, then finding the train station, another few hours... It’s a lot of time to think and you just can’t stop. 

You don’t take the book out of your bag or touch the screen in front of you. Instead, you sit, slumped down in your seat, eyes drifting back and forth, as you wallow in your self-pity. You stay like that through the flight. You decline the mid-flight meal and the snack cart. You don’t even get up to use the bathroom. 

You close your eyes and float away into memory. You can feel the scene around you. You can smell the stale air freshener forgotten on the shelf above the desk and hear the muffled thrum of music through the walls. You sit on the bed, your textbook open in your lap and your laptop open by your leg. Steve’s on the other end, phone in hand, texting as his golden hair flops forward over his head. 

He’s younger. That rosiness still kisses his cheeks as subtle freckles speckle his pale skin. Yet he’s just a well-built as ever. Broad shoulders, chiseled jaw, long legs. He’s the very picture that should appear next to ‘hunk’ in the dictionary. Every girl’s dream. Your dream. 

“Huh,” he chuckles and drops his phone, “this girl in my history class wants to meet up.” 

Your heart plucks and you force a smile, “a girl? Meet up?” 

“Oh, yeah, she lets me copy off her pop quiz every lecture. Guess I kinda owe her.” 

“Wow,” you utter, the only noise you can eke out. Owes her? Funny, you did his laundry last week and helped him print out his term paper... what do you get? 

“Yeah, so uh, do you think you could send me a copy of your notes?” He pushes himself to the edge of the bed. “I probably won’t be back tonight.” 

“Right,” you nod and hide your embarrassment at the insinuation. 

“You can crash here if you wanna. Long way across campus at night,” he shrugs casually as he grabs his varsity jacket. 

“No, I’ll... I’ll just go now,” you get off the bed and close up your books. 

“Probably a good idea. Just in case she wants to come back here,” he chuckles, “see ya in poli sci?” 

“Sure,” you keep your chin down. “See ya.” 

Your eyelids lift as you come out of the dazed memory.  

New York is gone. Steve is gone. You’re all alone. You’ve left it all behind but that home was never a home. It was all a farce you built on a childish hope. You’re done lying to yourself. It was never going to be. You didn’t miss any chance at all. You just wasted your own time. 

You just languish there in the airplane seat. It’s still hard to believe it’s all real. It isn’t until the wheels bounce and hit the tarmac that it fully sinks in. 

You’re not doing that again. You’re better off alone. You have to be, right? You don’t really know. You don’t even know yourself. You just know the girl who only wanted to be what he needed. 

But what do you need? What do you want? Can you figure it out? Is there anything in this land for you that you couldn’t find in New York? 

At least you’ll have lots of time to figure that out. Intimate hours with yourself to dwell and cringe and regret. Time to think, time to move on, time to cut him out. 

As you join the line to have your Visa stamped, you pull out your phone and turn off airplane mode. You swipe through to Steve’s last message. It was weeks ago. That makes it easier to hit that button; ‘mute’. It’s a start. Maybe in a few weeks, you’ll be ready to hit ‘block’. 

[tojiscumdumpster]

⠀ ⠀⠀ "unwanted" MATRIMONY

⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀byakuya kuchiki.

✧ summary to preserve the existence of y/n's clan, she is forced to wed the twenty-eighth head of the kuchiki clan—byakuya kuchiki.

✧ content warnings reader is described as a black woman who uses she/her pronouns. clanhead!reader x captain!byakuya. bleach verse au (no manga spoilers) byakuya is a noble, so they'll both be speaking as such. lowkey giving royalty au vibes. told in first POV — reader's. tropes included: arranged marriage, childhood rivals to lovers. usage of c*nt, missionary position, fingering, nipple play, praise and breeding kink, primal play, terms of endearment — blossom, my love, etc. plot with smut, fluff, and a touch of angst if you squint hard enough. lengthy, but the build up is worth it and necessary!

✧ author's note i don't have much to say, but here's to adding more bleach men to my roster. i knew i wanted to write for byakuya because that's my baby daddy, and now i finally have this idea i hope you guys enjoy. support me by reblogging, liking, and commenting your thoughts. i would greatly appreciate it. ♡ MINORS AND BLANK/AGELESS BLOGS - DO NOT INTERACT.

 I must make my days do, lazing around in my private chambers as I am bound to a marriage I wanted no parts of. Especially not with Byakuya Kuchiki. 

 Lord Byakuya, as he prefers me to call him.

 Because I am the current and possibly the final head of the L /N Clan, I am forced to complete my duties as such. Those duties entailed me following through with my grandparents final wish: get married and keep our family name alive. 

 Which I have no issue with fulfilling. 

 My dreams are filled with having children with a man that loves me. To extend our family and grow old together where our souls will find each other in another life. 

 However, I hadn’t planned my marriage to be an arrangement that I wasn’t aware of because of an agreement our grandfathers had prior to me being born. 

 It’s shocking, honestly. More so, ludicrous for them to think this was okay. But I just couldn’t deny my grandfather. Not when his palm was in mine, lacking its warmth that’s usually there due to his near passing. 

 I remember tears staining my cheeks and a smile gracing his when he made his final request for me. 

 That was two years ago. Now, I am married. Have been for almost a year and every day I dread my decision. 

 How could I possibly wed a man as cold as Byakuya Kuchiki? We barely speak. We sleep in separate chambers. The most we see each other is during dinner because it would be ridiculous to have the servants prepare us food at different times. But even so, the silence and tension always remains deafening.

 And to make matters worse, we have yet to consummate our marriage. 

 This is something I cannot possibly do on my own. He may or may not be attracted to me, and I am convinced to assume the latter because he never utters a look in my direction. 

 It’s shameful how he treats me. The words he spoke to me the night of our ceremony is a constant memory I do my best to forget but cannot. 

 I’m officially married. Not the way I expected to be, but what other choice do I have? Grandfather has died and I made a promise to him to marry and bear children to keep the L /N Clan everlasting. Even if that meant being forced into marriage with my childhood rival. 

 As we sit side-by-side next to each other, bowing and thanking all of our guests for their blessings, I feel the coldness radiating off Byakuya. Of course, one of us has to be graceful and fake smiles while greeting everyone, so I am left to the task. 

 Byakuya? He doesn’t hide how dissatisfied he is with how this night is going. 

 To an extent, I understand. Forcing to wed after the loss of his wife, Hisana, is not ideal. Despite it being centuries since her soul has passed, I’m almost positive the heartbreak is still present. 

 Maybe tonight reminds him of her? 

 “Byakuya—what is the matter? Is everything alright?” I inquired. I turn to face him and await a response. 

 The squareness of his jawline catches my attention and I think how it was carved by the gods themselves. I’ve known Byakuya since we were both children, and seeing the fine man he has grown into today never ceases to amaze me. 

 His profile is… beautiful. I’m mesmerized by the softness of his pale complexion and how it contrasts with the darkness of his raven colored locks. 

 The further I stare at him, the more heat floods underneath my cheeks and my mouth watering at the sight of his beauty. 

 But when he finally speaks, all of the emotions I’ve felt have completely diminished. 

 “Do you feel no shame being forced into a marriage where your partner feels nothing for you?”

 Since then, I’ve kept my distance from him. I remember the pain that pinged my chest when processing the words that left his mouth. I remember rushing to my chambers after the ceremony and crying until it felt like a million shards of glass were piercing them. 

 Yes, I feel ashamed. But I never expected Byakuya to be so direct with me. He’s certainly not the young boy I remember growing up with. Where we would make everything into a competition. 

 Our swordsmanship. Our knowledge. Our abilities. Whatever can be turned into a challenge for us, Byakuya and I competed. 

 That led him to be a captain of the Gotei Thirteen and twenty-eighth head of the Kuchiki Clan. And me, the twenty-third head of my family. I initially wanted to enter the Shin’ō Academy along with Byakuya, but I chose to stay with my family and oversee our medicine and agriculture. 

 However, even when he entered the academy, he always made time to see me because we were friends before any juvenile competition we made. 

 So why can he not see his wrongdoings in our marriage? Could he at least try for the sake of me fulfilling my duties? 

 All that keeps me company are movements of the servants coming in and out of my chambers, along with the river that flows past my view. 

 As always, dinner is silent. 

 Byakuya has returned to the manor after attending his captain duties, and this is the only time of day where I see him. He is stripped from his formal wear and has been dressed in a simple dark blue yukata that has specks of cherry blossoms scattered across the garment. 

 If I didn’t loathe him so much, I could take my time appreciating how handsome he looks while being in the comfort of his manor. His locks are released from the kenseikan he wears that symbolizes his nobility as the head of the Kuchiki Clan. 

 I occasionally steal glances at him while he eats, and yes, while I do despise being in this forced marriage just as he does, I can’t help but be captivated by him.

 My lady parts wouldn’t allow me to deny the attraction. 

 As I watch my beloved husband, I think of all the sexual acts I would like for him to do to me. Please me in ways I could only imagine he can do. Make love to me and whisper in my ear how breathtaking I am.

 When I look at Byakuya, I think of all the times I’ve spent time with Lady Kyōraku and she tells me how madly in love she is with Captain Kyōraku. How well he treats her, and even with his demands in his new position, they spend much quality time together. 

 She even graced my ears with a few details about a picnic session they recently had where it led to activities that typically aren't done out in public.

 I wonder if my husband will ever be reckless enough to do an act as obscene as that. 

 Not likely. 

 I hate quiet, especially while we eat together. What is the purpose if no words will be spoken amongst each other? No eye contact. No going to bed together after we have finished. Why? 

 Why am I not able to be served dinner in my private chambers? Surely, I can make a request for this going forward. 

 Or… perhaps there is a different way for me to get him to speak. 

 I take a sip of my cremè sake before clearing my throat. “How did your day treat you, my lord?”

 “It was fine,” he responds, flatly. Should I be shocked that he didn’t lift his chin when speaking to me? 

 “There is something I would like to discuss with you.”

 “It can wait. I’m not up for discussion at the moment.” His dismissive tone has annoyance leaching onto my flesh, and I feel like I am on the verge of exploding.

 “Perhaps it cannot. I would like to discuss something with you, my husband.” The authority in my voice grabs his attention and finally, he looks up at me and catches my hardened gaze. 

 He deeply sighs, sitting down his bowl of rice and chopsticks. “What is it?”

 “Maybe we should… begin the process of annulment.”

 His face remains calm. Expressionless, like I always remembered. Does he care enough to show a reaction to me asking for a cancellation of our marriage? 

 This shouldn’t be a difficult decision for him, so why is he taking his time to respond? 

 The longer I wait, the more his lack of response bothers me. It’s not similar to before, where the quiet was filled by the sounds of us eating and the servants coming in to check on us.

 No, it’s the silence where if he does not speak, I will make the decision for him and walk out and permanently leave the manor.

 I think of all the conversations I’ve had with Lady Rukia, his younger sister. And Renji, his lieutenant, about how I should be patient with Byaykuya. That, eventually, he will come around and warm up to me being his wife. 

 But how long?

 How long would it take for us to share a chamber? For us to act like we’re in this agreement together? For him to look at me with the same attraction I have for him?

 How long? 

 It possibly couldn’t be more than a year. 

 This is not the Byakuya Kuchiki I grew up with. No, I wasn’t in his life those five years he was wedded to Hisana due to my own family issues. Maybe I could’ve been there for him and witnessed his change that caused him to be so apathetic. 

 However, this cold man that sits before me… I don’t know who he is.

 “Is there someone else you’re interested in?” He finally speaks, breaking me from my musings. 

 I draw my brows together, confused at his accusation. “Are you… insinuating that I am having an affair?”

 “We’ve been wedded for a year. No acts of intimacy have been done between us. Now suddenly you—”

 “Because of you!” My voice roars, interrupting whatever nonsense that he was about to spew. 

 I refuse to allow him to put the blame on me for the stillness in our marriage. I have tried, time after time, and all I am met with is a man that constantly rejects any type of advances I attempt to provide him.

 So, I continue. 

 “I have given you a year, Byakuya,” I begin, standing over him. He looks up at me and again, his expression remains undetectable. “The day of our ceremony, I have accepted that I will be your lady, and on that night, I was prepared for consummation. But what did you do instead? Humiliate me in front of all our guests with your trivial question!”

 My chest heaves an adrenaline I haven’t felt in a while. Maybe even never, however, leave it to Byakuya to rile me up this way. 

 “If you or anyone thinks I will bear children with a man that looks at me with utter disgust, then you all are sadly mistaken.” Are my last words to him before I rush out the supper room, tears threatening to fall, reminding me of the night we wedded. 

 I feel like such a fool. Disgrace descends upon me and my mind quickly goes to my grandfather and the words he spoke to me on his deathbed. Be strong, child, and fulfill your duties as the current head of the L /N Clan. Bear beautiful children with Young Byakuya and fall effortlessly in love. 

 Oh, grandfather. What am I to do? I can no longer stand to be in this marriage. Not like this. 

 Not with Byakuya. 

 By this time already, I had returned to my chambers and began preparing for bed. I allowed my emotions to get the best of me tonight, so some sleep will do me good. 

 But my suggestion of annulment will continue in the morning. 

 Just as I was moisturizing my body, a knock at the door interrupts my nightly routine and I immediately grow annoyed. 

 I know it isn’t one of the servants checking on me. They know when I don’t want to be bothered with. So that leaves the man that’s responsible for my current state of mind. 

 Ignore him, I say to myself. He’ll think I’m asleep and eventually leave. But no. He barges into my chambers, unannounced, and shuts the door behind him. 

 “Excuse me. I don’t recall giving you permission to en—”

 “Do you think this is easy for me?” He asks, paying no mind to my protests. “Being… married to you.”

 I turned my back to him and continued with the task I was doing before he interrupted. “Save me the boredom and keep it to yourself. No need to further remind—”

 “For a year… I have been… fighting these emotions. These… feelings that have been forming in my chest at the thought of you being my lady.” His admission shocks me… but I remain quiet and stare at him intently through my mirror and allow him to finish. “Do you wish to know how I feel about you, Lady Y/N?”

 My chest slowly heaves up and down and I hold eye contact with him. “How?” I breathed. 

 “You interfere with my routine. Daily… weekly… monthly. Just the thought of you has my mind spiraling.” He moves closer to me with every word he speaks. “A noble. A clan head such as myself, loses all sense of control with just a whiff of your scent. Your jasmine scent that drives me utterly insane. I simply cannot act with honor when I’m around you, so I purposely choose to ignore you.”

 “But… why?” I questioned. 

 “Because you are you, my lady. You may think I don’t keep my eyes on you, but I do. All day… every day. I… watch you sit by the river and simply smile at the sight of nature. From a distance, I hear how kind you are when you speak to others. It’s… enchanting.”

 I slowly release a breath and swallow a thick gulp. “So why is that you don’t speak to me? If I’m, as you stated, enchanting?”

 “Speaking is not what I wish to do with you when we are alone,” he admits. Arousal rushed between my legs at the true meaning of his statement. 

 “It is hard for me to believe that you have an attraction toward me, Lord Byakuya.” As if my words triggered him, he takes long strides to close the distance between us. 

 “Perhaps it’s because you do not look at me the way you look at others. I, too, should be questioning your attraction toward me.”

 I stand to meet with him, but fail miserably due his tall frame towering me. Still, I stand firm with my gaze. “Others such as who?”

 “Shūhei Hisagi,” he deadpans. 

 “You’re being ridicu—”

 “That smile… Your eyes… The look you give him… you have never looked at me that way before. He personally delivers the newsletter to our manor, which he doesn’t have to, but he does for you.”

 “Are you… jealous? Of the small interactions I have with Hisagi a few times throughout the week?”

 It is hard for me to believe that the honorable Byakuya Kuchiki himself is getting flared up over a platonic friendship between Hisagi and I. 

 Sure, there may be a chance he feels more for me than I know, judging by how his cheeks stain a light pink color when he delivers the newsletter. 

 But in no shape or form do I feel the same way, and I would never stoop as low as stepping out in my marriage. Even if my husband treats me like I am a fly on the wall. 

 Though, now, as he stands before me, slightly flustered, nostrils flaring, and a pinched expression—Byakuya is in fact—jealous. 

 I do not know how to feel about this, but I do know it is better than the distance I was getting before. 

 “Does this,” he grabs my hand to slip between us so I can feel his hardened erection, causing me to suck in a breath, “feel like I hold no attraction to you?”

 “Byakuya,” I barely said above a hushed tone. 

 He presses his forward against mine, whispering, “Everyday… I curse myself for these feelings I have for you, to the point where I attempt to avoid you yet fail horribly because I can’t help but watch you from afar.” His hand gently runs up and down my arm, and this bit of contact burns warmth to my flesh. 

 “I feel wrong. Felt, wrong for having such feelings for you, knowing my late Hisana has passed away. I thought my heart went along with her illness, however, you returned to my life unexpectedly.”

 I lick my lips before asking, “Are you saying you… love me, my lord?”

 “I desire you, my lady. Crave you in ways that make me want to act animalistic.” His lips ghost over mine before he falls to my neck and inhales heavily. “I’ve always wanted to know what it is like to have you on my tongue. To hear you beg for me to give you more than what I am giving.”

 “My lord… please.” 

 He shushes me. “Your beauty is beyond words. I have… never seen a rich, deep, golden brown complexion such as yours. You hold yourself with grace, but I know you’re a minx underneath these silk garments.”

 He begins trailing faint kisses along my flesh until meeting with my face once more. I stare at him and take advantage of his ash-colored hues that resemble the sky on a cloudy day. 

 I don’t recall ever being this close in proximity to Byakuya. I’m enthralled by the smoothness of his skin and the color of his lips that reminds me of a thousand cherry blossoms. 

 I want to kiss him. I, too, also want to know what it feels like to have the taste of him on my tongue. Just—

 “May I kiss you, Y/N?” The octave of his voice, slightly lower than usual, breathy with a touch of desperation… it does something to my core. 

 His cheeks flush red and my eyes widen at the sight of him. It feels like this is a fantasy, a moment I thought I would only see in my dreams. He is completely vulnerable, stipped down to where he forgets the formalities and calls my name. He is like this for me because of me. 

 When he is like this–I do not loathe him.

 “You may.”

 Byakuya gently presses his mouth against mine, our lips merely touching as if he is skeptical about what he is doing. He pulls back to look at me and I know desperation is shown on my face. And I know he feels the same.

 How he engulfs my arm with his hand, applying immense pressure to show his desire for me tells me so. 

 My breaths are staggered. I’m thinking, what will he do next? Will he turn around and return to his chambers, regretting this moment ever happened? No. He does not. 

 He caresses my nose with his, breathing me in before meeting with my lips once more. 

 This time, he cuffs my face and deepens our kiss. My hands latched  onto his wrist to hold him in place because I will not allow him to show any skepticism once again. 

 Byakuya takes his time exploring my mouth, but a touch of eagerness is shown when his tongue slips inside of me to get more. Heat hums throughout my body and I feel wetness pooling between my thighs due to the lack of under garments I am not wearing. 

 Is this what it feels like to kiss him? Is it normal for my limbs to grow weak? As if he read my thoughts, he sweeps me off the ground and wraps my legs around his waist. Our heads move side-to-side in unison while we devour each other’s grunts and moans. 

 We head in the direction to my futon and ever so lightly, he lays me down and pulls away from me. 

 “Strip for me.” His order is soft but filled with dominance I can’t be anything but submissive to. 

 I untie my silk robe, slowly until it falls off my shoulders and bares my body. His eyes… where I know Byakuya to be calm and collective during battle, right now a beast rages through him, and I am his prey that he is ready to feast on. 

 My legs spread, revealing my sex that is moist beyond measure. A growl forms in the pit of Byakuya’s stomach and it spreads chills down my spine.

 He palms my breasts while gazing at me and I shudder from his touch. I could believe that this is in fact a dream, but it is not. 

 No longer than a second later, and he pinches my nipple between his fingers. 

 “My lord,” I softly cried, arching my back. 

 “You are art, Y/N.”

 “Address me as your lady,” I demanded. 

 “Apologies, Lady Y/N.” He leans forward to press a quick kiss to my lips. “Is there anything else you would like for me to do?”

 “Strip for me as well,” I instructed, teasingly. 

 His yukata drapes low on his hips and I am met with his slender build. Squared shoulders. A trimmed waist. And an abdomen where I would enjoy rubbing my wetness along that leads to what will bring me pleasure tonight. 

 He stands to completely remove his garments and my mouth floods at the sight of him. His groin, hard and veiny, drips liquid that I’m yearning to taste. 

 Byakuya, as expected, is well trimmed, but leaves just enough hair, perfect to my liking. 

 He’s much larger than I imagined. A size I need time adjusting to, that’s for certain. 

 “Am I up to your liking?” He quips. 

 I hum, tugging my bottom lip between my teeth. “Perhaps.”

 The smallest chuckle, almost faint, escapes his mouth. “Perhaps…” He mocks, catching onto the lie that I uttered. 

  He kneels down before me and sucks my lower lip into his mouth while he widens my legs even further to bring pleasure to my cunt. Those slender fingers, so long and delicate, slip inside of me and I mewl at the slight intrusion. He massages my walls as if he is exploring, attempting to familiarize himself with how I pulsate around his fingers. 

 I break our kiss to moan his name, and my lord takes advantage of the opening to plunge his tongue in the back of my throat and sink deeper into my cunt. 

 I never expected Byakuya to be well equipped with his fingers this way. Those same fingers that are used for battle are currently being used to bring me to my release. 

 Soon, his lips find the valley of my breasts where he leaves bruises on my flesh with teeth. I whimper so pathetically, shocking myself at the sound that leaks from me. 

 He sucks on my nipples greedily, like a starved man that’s hungry for his lover, and this time, I let out a moan of his name. 

 “Byakuya…”

 He looks at me through his lashes and firmly grips my breast. “Remember, my lady. Address me as your lord.”

 “I am sorry, my lord. Please… I can no longer wait. I want to come.”

 “Where is that fire that was present earlier? Begging?” I clench around his fingers at the sound of him taunting me. 

 He flickers his digits quicker inside of me, pulling such obscene noises from my cunt that mingles with my moans and his praises in my chambers. 

 Byakuya, this time, does not kiss me. No, instead, he ogles me and gently holds my chin in place where I am forced to watch him deliver me a release I’ve been waiting a year for. 

 There was a time where I thought he didn’t have an ounce of attraction to me, and now here he is, pleasing me in a way I haven’t been before. 

 “Oh, Lord Byakuya… I… I’m about to come. I feel a release coming,” I purred. 

  “But I have barely touched you, blossom.”

 I latched onto his wrist and rolled my hips to meet his fingers thrusting inside of my cunt. “I—I know. I’ve been waiting for this… for so long.”

 “You’ve fantasized about me bringing you pleasure?” I nod, causing a small smirk to form on his lips. “Tell me more, Lady Y/N. What else do you want? Would you like my shaft inside your tight cunt?”

 “Yes.”

 “Tell you how breathtaking you look while being filled with me?”

 “Oh, yes. Yes, Lord Byakuya.”  

 The faintest, most gentle kiss is placed on the side of my mouth and I feel the tension at the bottom of my stomach unraveling.

 “Are you prepared to bear my children? To have my come flooding your cunt until it drips out?” He ghosts over my ear. “Will you take me?”

 “Bya… kuya…” My orgasm suddenly crept onto me and I’ve created a mess on his hand. 

 I throw my head back and moan to the gods above. I can’t stop shaking and he continues to pump his fingers inside of me. 

 For a year I thought this man loathed me, but tonight I am proved otherwise. 

 Lord Byakuya has described himself as a madman when he is around me, and it is shown when he doesn’t permit me the time to come down from my release before guiding his cock to my entrance. 

 I look between us, anticipating the moment he enters my body and wondering how I will take him. 

 He attempts to push himself inside, but is met with interference and clicks his tongue. Frustrated at the constriction of my cunt because his cock is aching to feel my walls. 

 “I see she is as stubborn as you are,” he taunts. 

 I slyly smirk at him. “Giving up—Ohh…”

 Byakuya does not allow me to finish my retort before giving me one long thrust between my folds to completely stuff me. My brows knits together at the slight intrusion and hint of pain that’s mended by my wetness. 

 I’m… stretched. How could he fit? He’s so… big. Large. I feel his veins pleasurably grazing me when he slowly begins to pull in and out. My cunt molds around his cock like he’s all she knows and I gasp with every movement. 

 My thighs are pushed back so he could see all of me, to see how I’m swallowing him whole. He swears underneath his breath and seeing Byakuya so vulnerable like this has me pulsating. 

 “You… are amazing, my lady. This cunt of yours… It's perfect,” he declares. “For a year you have been keeping this from me?”

 “More, my lord. Give me a bit more.”

 “So desperate for my come, are you?”

 I eagerly nod and grip his forearms to take his pounding. He wastes no time acquiescing to my request, increasing his thrusts to pull such lewd noises from me.

  I’m almost embarrassed by the loudness of my dripping sex. I’m practically making a mess on my futon and I’m mortified that the servants will need to replace my sheets. 

 Again, his mouth and hands are back on my breast, sucking and circling my nipples until they ache. Byakuya alternates between the two to show equal amounts of love and I have never felt so overwhelmed.

 He drives into me with so much passion while marking me with his teeth and alleviating the pain with his tongue. 

 “When I breed you, you will be completely mine, my love. You will be full of me, carrying my child,” he rasps, rutting into me with more force. “How many will you give me?”

 I gasped. “As many as you want, Lord Byakuya. Just please… make me come again. I feel it approaching.”

 “So come for me, blossom.”

 His thrusts are harsher than before. The head of his cock repeatedly presses my sweet spot and I feel the spark of electricity tingling in my lower back. My breasts are still occupied by his mouth, but they move obnoxiously with the rhythm of his poundings. 

 I cry his name, scream to my lord how wonderful this feels and tears prick the corner of my eyes. His free hand that was on my breast moves to thumb my clit to aid with my near release. 

 Byakuya moans soon joins mine to tell me how my cunt squeezes his cock, nearly strangling. And if it were to lose circulation, I would be the cause. But does he not feel how he throbs inside of me? 

 How he hopes to breed me so we will be bound for life? 

 “You asked me earlier… if I love you. Would you still like to know?”

 “Yes, Byakuya. Tell me… do you?”

 “I do,” he simply answers. “Since the day I saw you staring at the river and smiling at the water flowing. How could I not love you?” He brushes his lips across mine and lowers his voice. “How could I not love you after having you like this? Having your beautiful body, every dip and curve bare underneath me?”

 “Lord Byakuya… I’m coming.”

 “And you sound beautiful when my name drips from your lips. Continue calling me your lord until I have filled you with my come.”

 Over and over, he rocks into me at a frenzied pace, causing my orgasm to burst out of me. Tears stain my cheeks and arousal prickles my flesh from my overwhelming release. However, Byakuya does not let up until his thrusts are uncoordinated, indicating his own climax.

 Coming together as lovers for the first time after our ceremony has me seeing stars in my chambers. His load… it’s heavy. Hot and sticky. It mingles with my own come and creates a mess between us.

 Lord Byakuya, too, is a vocal lover. He comes down from his own release and whispers how ethereal I am. How he would never grow tired of pleasing me and filling my cunt. 

 But it’s the delicacy of him brushing my coils away from my face and placing soft kisses on my cheeks that causes my heart to skip a beat. 

 An hour has already passed, and we have been basking in each other’s presence. His embrace is comforting. It provides me with a warmth that was well needed to fill the coldness beside me when I slept alone at night for the past year. 

 “I’m sorry,” he says, breaking the silence. 

 I know the reason for his apology, but ask anyway. “For what, my lord?”

 “For the discomfort I have provided you since our engagement. You didn’t deserve that… Before anything, you were a dear childhood companion of mine and I treated you horribly.”

 His kind words move me. I place my palm against his cheek and look up at him. “We can discuss it some more later on. For now, I would like to enjoy your company. Is that okay?”

 He kisses the top of my head and pulls me further into his arms. “Of course, my lady… Of course.”

thank you for reading. reblogs, comments, and likes are well appreciated. if you enjoy my work, please be sure to check our my masterlist for more. ෆ

[deepestnightcolor]

PLEASE MORE OF SAM FLUFF PLS PLS PLS

ᴀ/ɴ: Thou ask and thou shall receive!~ Thank you so much for your request, love!

I hope this is okay, I've become quite rusty when it comes to fluff. I hope you enjoy! Also, to everyone suffering of pollen allergies - much strength to you. Blondie is suffering with you.

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: Sam (SDV) x GN!Reader

ᴡᴄ: 1373 words

ᴍᴅɴɪ ✧ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: None, just fluff!

☾ ꜰᴇᴇʟɪɴɢ ꜱᴘʀɪɴɢ ☽

The warming rays of the spring's sun tickled your nose the moment you stepped out of your farm house. Spring was about halfway over, but still in its complete beauty.

You looked at your fields with a content look in your eyes. The seeds you had spread over the tilled ground had stretched out their green leaves, some of them would soon be ready to harvest, would need nothing more but a bit more of the tender sun and the water that was coating their complex beauty from the sprinkler already running this morning.

Butterflies were dancing through the air that was drenched in the sweet aroma of nature coming to life and blooming in its bright, cheerful colors, breezes of gentle wind wafting the scent towards you coaxing you to step forward.

A glance to your right made you see that your cows and chickens had found their ways outside by now, hungry mouths and beaks tugging at stems of grass that carried a lush green colour. The bursts of rain that had fallen on the Valley the last few days had done nature a favor, you thought, a smile on your lips.

You picked up the bucket you had brought outside with you, making your way over to their pasture.

"Good morning, ladies," you called out, chuckling as a chorus of moos greeting you in return. Betty and Moonalisa looked great today, and it filled you with a sense of pride to know it was your care that made the bond between you so strong. Scratching the cows' heads, you chatted quietly to them. Told them what had happened to you yesterday. You had seen Sam, you told them. He had taken you out on a date, and you still felt the giddiness of the last night rush through your veins.

Even as you were milking them you chattered about the blond, the twitch of spotted ears giving you the feeling of being listened to by your friends. When the bucket was full, you gave each cow a small treat as you thanked them, bringing the bucket to the shed to fill it in the machine that would make it become cheese in a matter of hours.

It didn't take long for you to enter the coop, greeting Julie and Lana with the same excitement you had done with the cows. You ran your fingers through the soft feathers, listening to the cluckering as the two hens picked at the ground. "You are very pretty today," you told them with a nod, "did you do something with your feathers?"

Cluckering sounds answering you made you chuckle.

Once you had allowed Sam to follow your morning routine because he had woken up as early as you had, and your boyfriend had watched you with an amused smirk on his face. When you had asked him why he looked at you like that, all he gave you was the shrug of his shoulders.

"It's cute how you treat your animals. Makes me appreciate you more, y'know? Shows you care."

He had kissed your head and crouched down to tell one of your hens that her eyes were gorgeous, and the other that she walked with great grace. The compliments seemed so genuine, so warm, they didn't leave you a choice but to kiss Sam right then and there, because you knew you could trust him. Even with silly little things like talking to your animals in front of him.

"I'll check on you again tonight!" You called towards them, your hands filled with the two large eggs you had found in the coop. After putting them in their respective machines, you decided to make your way to town. You had some ggeodes you wanted Clint to break open, and maybe you could visit Sam with a pizza for lunch.

However, the sound of someone sneezing made you raise your brow. That had been a loud sneeze.

You pushed your hands in the pockets of your overall, holding onto the fabric as you tilted your head. Waited. Maybe it was one of your animals? You had heard Moonalisa sneeze once, it had been louder than you would have ever guessed. Or you had just-

ACHOO.

Okay, you had definitely not imagined that, but it hadn't come from behind you, either. With your face still scrunched up in confusion, you walked towards town, perhaps you would find the sneezer there?

But you didn't even have to go so far, because looking to your right, you saw a mess of blond hair and a familiar blue jacket.

Your boyfriend stood hunched over in the field of lowers near the bus stop. A small bouquet was already in his right hand, the other traced through the tender sea of pedals and leaves. "S-"

ACHOO.

The sneeze shook the man's whole body, making him groan out loud. "Fuckin' allergies," his voice grumbled, but it sounded strained. Probably from all the sneezing he had been suffering through.

"I like you, you flowery pieces of death, why can't you fuckin' like me back?"

"Maybe they don't like you plucking them?" You joked, making the blond twirl around to look at you.

His eyes were teary and red, his nose was red, and he seemed defeated. However, a smile spread on his face just a few seconds later.

"Can't be it, they try to kill me even if I don't pluck them," he laughed, leaning down and picking up another flower, tenderly adding it to the bouquet. You watched him, biting down on your lower lip. "Just out of curiosity, why are you in a field of things that kick off your allergy?"

Sam gave you a sheepish grin, mouth open to answer your very valid question, though the sneeze that tore through him was faster. A groan left his mouth as he grimaced, rubbing his eyes and then his nose, only to realize what he had just done. The pollen on his hand led to another sneezing fit. You reached out your hand and slowly pulled him away from the flowers, pulling out some tissues to dab at his teary eyes carefully.

"Because of the tradition," he answered when his breathing seemingly had steadied. "Tradition? What tradition?"

Again, your boyfriend carried this sheepish look on his face.

"That when you wanna date someone, you give them a bouquet."

You looked up at him, your eyebrow lifting in a slight arch. "But...we are dating, aren't we? 3rd of winter. That's when we got together."

Sam nodded and gave you another grin, this time, it was almost shy.

"But I didn't give you a bouquet." It wasn't an explanation. It was a matter of fact, at least that's how it sounded when he said it.

You couldn't help yourself, you never really could around Sam. Around him, your reactions were real. Raw. You laughed and gripped his face carefully, kissing the swollen nose just as gently as you did it affectionately.

"But Pierre sells them, Sam! You didn't have to trigger such a big allergic reaction for me," you whispered, and now it was Sam that rose his brow.

"Those are ugly ass flowers in that bouquet," he began, puffing out his chest, "and who the hell knows how long our dude Pierre has kept those flowers in a random ass drawer, keeping them alive with whatever witchery he has up that ugly sweater sleeve? Nope, no chance, my babe only gets the best- ACHOO."

Sam let out another groan, slowly holding the flowers towards you. "But..I'd be thankful if you took them off my hands...you know. I think you look prettier with them than I ever could, anyway."

You cooed as you looked at your beaten by allergies boyfriend, taking the bouquet and kissing his lips gently. "Yes, Sam," you whispered against them after a moment.

Sam, distracted by the affection inflicted on his lips, looked at you in confusion. "Yes what?"

You grinned, intertwined your fingers. "Yes, I accept the bouquet. Can't let my boyfriend die and then not accept the bouquet now, can I?"

Your boyfriend, now back on track, smiled, pressing a large hand to his chest. "That would have been more cruel than the pollen in spring."

[chellestrash]

Private Matters

Chapter IV (18+)

Cam Boy! Frank Castle x Female Reader

Story summary: After stumbling upon a cam website one night you quickly discover your favorite streamer. Unable to get the thoughts and images of him out of your mind you decide to become a supporter and the two of you grow closer to each other over time. Things get complicated when your close friend, neighbor and crush decides to express his feelings for you.

Chapter summary: Its finally the day. Your date with Frank is happening and you couldn't be happier. Everything is perfect...right? Well, everything except for a very small detail you can't get out of your head, and you're not sure how to tell him.

Chapter Warnings: Explicit language, explicit sexual content, swearing, alcohol, slight angst.

Word count: 4.1k

A/N: Thank you for all the support for this series i’m so so sorry it takes me so long to get the chapters out! I work, I’m busy i had a lot to do but it’s finally here! Chapter IV. I hope you’ll enjoy it, comments, reblogs and feedback are always so so appreciated, i love reading what you guys thing about it! Thank you @chelseasdagger for all the work and support!

Date with Frank.

That’s the first thing on your mind the moment you get out of bed that day and the main thing on your mind throughout the morning. It didn't really seem like one of those things you could shove to the back of your head and not think about it for the rest of the day. Whether you liked it or not, you kept coming back to the moment he asked you, and the moment you agreed. Your friend mentioned she couldn't possibly tell which one of you looked happier about it, and that little detail she was kind enough to point out, made your cheeks get warmer every time your brain reminded you about it.

“Stupid.”

You mumble out, catching yourself getting more excited about this than you'd like to admit.

“Morning.”

You send a quick text to Frank and the reply comes in almost instantly.

“Hey! Today still happening?”

You catch yourself smiling at your phone and quickly clear your throat, attempting to shake off the excitement again.

“Yeah, haven't changed my mind since yesterday.”

“Okay, good, can stop worrying now.”

“Frank castle worried? About me?”

You chuckle at his short response.

“Shut up.”

“So you have anything going on today?”

He follows up before you can type out an answer.

“Oh, just this date later on, probably around 8? You don't know the guy, you wouldn't like him. His name is Frank?”

“...”

“Smartass.”

You feel the butterflies in your stomach as you picture his slightly annoyed expression, and then roll your eyes at your own feelings. Sitting here, smiling at the texts on your phone? Really?

“So 8?”

He asks, and you send another message confirming the hour.

“See you at 8 then?”

“See you at 8.”

You smile again before grabbing your cheeks to fight back the smile.

“Stop it!”

You fight with yourself for another moment before setting your phone down on the table and deciding to take care of everything that needs to get done, just so you wouldn’t have to think about other things during the date. A little favor for your future self.

***

The day goes by relatively quickly, and before you know it, it’s time to start getting ready. You pick an outfit—nothing too fancy but not too plain either, a nice pair of flattering pants and a slightly tight-fitting shirt. You’re only grabbing a couple beers, some drinks…with Frank…your Frank. The realization makes you feel gradually more tense as the time approaches 8pm. You feel thankful when your phone goes off and quickly check the text that just came through.

“Leaving my place now.”

You read and chuckle at the thought of Frank, your next door neighbor, texting you the moment he leaves his flat to let you know he's on his way…in the hall, to pick you up.

Seconds later, Frank knocks on your door and you quickly make your way over to let him in.

“You got my text?”

He asks, pointing at his phone, and you shake your head in disbelief.

“Yeah, thanks for letting me know so I'd have time to get ready.”

Frank smiles, and something in that smile makes your knees a little weaker. His outfit is similarly casual to yours, jeans and a shirt you haven't seen him in before. Did he buy it?

“Oh, you're so welcome.”

Frank's eyes glance over you as he looks you up and down, unable to stop himself.

"Shit."

He whispers and you frown.

"That bad, huh?"

"What?"

Frank asks, confused, almost worried.

"You said ‘Shit’."

"What? Oh! Shit no! No no, no no just- I-I you-"

He sighs, dropping his head low before glancing up at you.

"Listen, I just - think you look great...it slipped out."

"Mhm."

You nod with a smile, deciding to stop teasing that poor man, at least for now.

"So do you, Frank."

"Naaah, not next to you."

Shaking your head again, you grab your phone and quickly check yourself in the mirror one last time.

“You ready?”

Frank nods and takes a step to the side, getting out of your way to let you out of your apartment.

“Yes ma’am.”

**

It would be a lie if you told yourself you never wondered what a date with Frank would look like. You never really thought it would actually happen, but you did wonder, you couldn't help it. Whether you wanted to admit it or not, you've thought about him in that context. You had ideas, but you'd never think it would feel this…natural? Comfortable?

Frank seemed a bit nervous at first, just like he did a couple of days ago before actually asking you out, but that didn't bother you. You were nervous for a moment at first too, but quickly relaxed as the conversation flowed, the jokes landed and the music at the bar worked for both you and your date.

Frank was, actually, probably one of the best dates you've had in a while. Not sure why you'd expect anything different, you knew how good of a friend he was. The whole evening he looked after you, making sure you were safe and comfortable. His eyes never left you as he listened to your stories, answered your questions and laughed at your jokes.

The laugh reminded you of something, something or someone you couldn't really work out at that moment, but it sounded familiar. Not familiar in a way that you've heard Frank laugh before, of course you did, but…there was something more to that familiarity. Since you couldn't work it out, you decided to ignore it for the time being, focusing back on the man on the opposite side of the small bar table.

“You come here often, then?”

Frank speaks out a bit louder than usual, trying to talk over the live music, after looking around the interior of the place.

“Why? Wanna ask me out?”

You smirk, sucking the straw from your cocktail into your mouth. You watch his head drop with a loud laugh.

“Yeah, yeah, something like that.”

“Ahhh… I don't know if you're my type.”

“Oh really? What's your type, then?”

Frank looks up, waiting for you to keep talking.

“Oh you know, big guys, scary looking, assholes…you know what? That sounds a bit like you?”

He scoffs, looking off to the side, shaking his head before looking back at you.

“Really?”

You nod, a big smile still on your face.

“Yeah, but it's fine. Like I said, that's kinda my type.”

Frank smirks, rolling his eyes.

"Yeah? And how's that working out for you?"

Your mouth falls open and he laughs loudly, you follow soon after.

"Well...I’d say pretty damn well, managed to get you out."

"Oh, you got me out?"

"Mhm."

You continue to tease him.

"Oh, that's interesting, yeah, that's good to know."

"Yeah?"

You ask innocently, and Frank laughs quietly, the crinkles by his eyes so prominent when you make him smile. He raises his hand to order another beer for himself and a drink for you.

***

“So, what's your type?”

You ask when Frank gets back from the bar with drinks for both of you.

“My type?”

You nod quickly, curious.

“Don't really have one.”

You give him the look that can only mean a slightly disappointed “really?” and he quickly continues.

“Why'd you wanna know? Wanna ask me out?”

He plays your card, and you feel your whole face lighting up.

“I don't knoooow, maybe? So, will you tell me?”

Frank takes a drink from the beer bottle and for a second you get lost in the way his lips wrap around the rim, his Adam’s apple moving with every sip, and you have to stop your thoughts from taking you somewhere else. He frowns, knowing you well enough to assume you wouldn't just give up on the question.

“Right, tell you what.”

He starts, scrunching up his nose before he bites into his lip. He spins you around, so you face the dart board on a wall on the other side of the bar.

“You win that, you get an answer “

You think about the offer and look back at him over your shoulder.

“Bit of a shitty move since I already told you mine.”

He scoffs, shaking his head with a big smile, before giving you another moment to decide.

“What if I lose?”

You ask and he shrugs.

“You buy the next beer.”

You pretend to ponder on the offer for another moment before nodding slowly.

“Deal.”

“Deal.”

***

At the end of the night, Frank offers you his jacket and you two make your way back to your building. Walking right by your side the entire time, Frank makes sure to keep your arms linked together. By doing this, he keeps you close, safe and warm the entire time. You think back to the many times you've walked this road on your own and feel thankful for having Frank by your side at this moment.

“Want me to walk you home?”

He asks when you stop by the door to his apartment out of habit.

“You mean to the other end of the hall?”

You point over your shoulder, and he tilts his head to the side with that goddamn smile. The smile that can make you so comfortable and so nervous at the same time, you feel insane sometimes.

“Yeah, okay, I could get jumped on my way there or something.”

You turn around and Frank follows, hands in his pockets, his shoulder touching yours as he walks by your side.

“Or trip.”

He points out, and you huff out a quiet laugh.

“I didn't drink THAT much.”

You lean on your door, resting your back against it and look up at the man in front of you.

“So.”

You nod towards your apartment.

“This is me.”

“Oh yeah?”

Franks inspects the door like he's seeing it for the first time.

“Mhm.”

You wait a moment, expecting him to start talking again. But Frank turns back to you, stepping forward, a bit closer now, looking down into your eyes. You feel your heart jump slightly, your pulse getting a little faster as your eyes drop to his lips before glancing back up into his gaze.

“Listen the-"

He starts, his brows furrowing as he tries to pick the right words.

“Was nice…the date, I mean I-you.”

He sighs. Looking off to the side, he shakes his head at his own words, before turning back to face you.

“You had fun?”

A simple question followed by a slight tilt of his head that makes him look probably the least intimidating you've ever seen him look. Almost like a puppy, trying to figure out the words spoken to them by their owner.

You nod, confirming your answer with a sly smirk.

“I meaaaan…could've been worse, you did good, Castle.”

“Yeah?”

Frank asks, and you catch him now glancing down at your lips.

“Mhm.”

You nod, it's gentle this time, and your lips part slightly as you decide to lean closer towards him.

“And you? Hmm?”

There's no real reason to ask now, not when you can clearly see the words fly over his head. A silent nod from him remains your only response as the distance between you two closes slowly.

“Mhm.”

He answers, and you chuckle, squinting your eyes as you lean your head to the side, now taking the lead in the conversation.

“Yeah?”

You nod, questioning him again, and Frank repeats your movements. His eyes are not leaving your lips; yours not living his, as you two move closer and closer together.

“So, do you-”

He starts, and you agree silently, your breathing speeding up as you feel your heart pounding harder in your chest now. Leaning back on the door, you hand the key over to Frank, and he unlocks it before pushing it open the moment you pull him into the kiss.

“Shit.”

Frank mumbles out your name, pulling you closer to him before kicking the door shut, his hand now resting on the side of your waist.

“You sure about this?”

“Frank, please?”

You mumble against him and feel his lips pressing against yours almost immediately. His hand rests on the side of your neck, his fingers brushing over the side of your jaw as he holds you close to him.

“Oh, shit”

He starts.

“Mmm.”

A quiet hum slips past your mouth as you feel his tongue pushing past your lips.

“Mmm, fuck-”

You whine despite your better judgment. Your hand drops between his legs and you rub over the bulge in his pants. Frank's hips push into your hand, and when you push your palm against him harder, his lips slip away from you. A loud grunt against the side of your neck.

“Shit, Sweetheart.”

The pet name almost makes you whine out loud, but you attempt to stop yourself as your thoughts conveniently send you back to one of the livestreams you've watched before.

Your eyes shoot open, and you shake yourself out of it, glancing down at Frank. His lips are still on your neck, making it easier to focus on him again.

You cup his face to tilt him up and Frank stands up, straighter in front of you now. Pulling you closer to him again, his lips find yours, and you two stumble towards the couch in the middle of your living room. Frank hooks one arm around your waist, his forearm and palm pushing against your back, before lifting you up.

You gasp, holding onto him as he sets you down on the couch. You lay on your back, your heart speeding up and your breathing shortening as you watched him unbuckle his belt. Your legs push together while your brain once again reminds you of a similar scene from one of the livestreams. You fight the urge to close your eyes and focus on the thought and, instead, reach out to gesture for Frank to come closer.

“Come here.”

You whisper under your breath, and Frank lets you pull him closer. Leaning over you, he spreads your legs open, pushing his thighs between yours before his hand holds your face again and the kisses resume.

Pushing back the guilt slowly rising inside you, you focus on the buttons of Frank's shirt, pushing your legs together slightly as you feel the weight of him grinding against you.

His hands slip under your shirt and you lift your arms up, allowing him to slip the fabric up and off of your chest. After tossing the shirt onto the floor, Frank quickly gets rid of his as well. His eyes jump around your face, and you fight the urge to avoid eye contact for a while before finally looking away.

“You okay?”

He sounds concerned, and his question makes you feel even worse. You can't explain it, not now, not here. You're not even completely sure if you'd be able to explain this properly if he wasn't kneeling between your legs with his cock hard against his pants, panting loudly as he waits for your answer.

You nod quickly, giving him a not-so-convincing smile, before scolding yourself in your own head.

“Yeah, yeah.”

You buck your hips up slightly, and Frank watches you move underneath him. The smile is gone now, so you assume he suspects something. With his hand brushing up and down the side of your body, fingers drawing on top of your ribs, he leans over you, his lips right on your neck again. You tilt your head off to the side, inviting him to deepen the kiss, and he follows. Attempting to help yourself focus on what's happening, you cup his face in your palm and tilt it up, kissing him fast and hard, hoping it'll help.

Why couldn't you just focus on this? Why did he have to somehow remind you of those moments you've seen before? Why couldn't you just stop your brain from making you think about the guy from the website? You weren't sure, but you knew you wanted this now, here, and with Frank. You did it; you've been wanting to for a while now, but somehow something didn't feel right. The guilt you felt about letting your mind slip to another guy while Frank was right here with you didn't allow you to focus on this moment, on what was happening, on what was in front of you, and on him.

You still wanted this; you felt good, you wanted Frank, but with your thoughts racing through your mind faster and faster, you felt your body gradually shutting off.

“Frank?”

You pull away quickly. His lips move down to your neck and he hums against your skin. You tilt your head back and whine quietly at the feeling before the guilt hits you again.

“Frank, stop just-”

You start again, this time pushing on his shoulder slightly to get his attention, and he pulls away immediately. Raising his hands in the air with an apologetic expression and worried glance, he stops everything he was doing.

“You okay?”

The softness of his voice makes the guilt skyrocket, and you feel the need to apologize.

“I'm sorry-”

“Hey, no, no, don't you-”

Frank sits up on the couch, moving away from you in order to give you as much space as you need in case he did something wrong, overstepped a boundary, or hurt you.

“Did I-”

You don't give him a chance to finish the question, not being able to think about him blaming himself for this.

“No! No, no, Frank, oh my god, no it-”

Hiding your face in your hands, you attempt to calm yourself down. The whole situation feels so ridiculous that you don't even know how to begin to explain it to him.

“God no, Frank, it's only my fault.”

“No, sweetheart, don't-hey, listen to me if I-”

That goddamn pet name. He swallows hard, and you watch his eyes flutter across your face.

“I-I-I hurt you.”

“No, Frank.”

“In any way.”

He continues, speaking over you.

“If I did, you just tell me, okay? Just, just tell me, so I know what I did and what-”

"No, it's me! It's me, Frank, I-"

He looks up, letting you talk this time. You speak loudly, thinking through the words you're about to say in an attempt to explain this ridiculous situation and the heavy, guilty feeling now stuck right in the middle of your chest.

“There's a guy.”

You swallow hard, knowing how dumb that sounds considering what the “guy” does.

“I talk to... sometimes I...I don't know why this is so stupid.”

“A guy?”

Frank repeats your words. He doesn't sound angry; he doesn't really sound like anything if you think about it.

"Yeah, I don't even know him like that, I mean, I do, but I…”

“From the bar?”

He attempts to guess, and it catches you slightly off guard.

“What? No, oh MY god, NO?”

You give him a disgusted look, shaking your head, and he scoffs quietly. The atmosphere seems to be loosening slightly.

“You think of me that bad, Castle?”

You joke, and he just shakes his head softly.

“So…”

You proceed with your explanation.

“A guy I talk to sometimes and we…”

You look at Frank, hoping he'd understand whatever broken-up sentences you manage to throw at him, even though it seems nearly impossible.

“Hook up?”

He guesses again, wrong.

“...No!"

"Sweetheart, you gotta give me something."

"It's just like...phone, video stuff, I guess.”

You finally get it off your chest. Feeling fucking terrible about the whole thing, you stare down at your hands, picking at your fingers as you wait for him to say something, anything.

A scoff. A scoff and a loud giggle is what you get. Turning your face in his direction immediately, you find yourself unsure of what to say or how to comment on his reaction.

“Phone stuff? Jesus… Christ, you...had me thinking."

You can't believe him.

Your jaw drops at this man's audacity, and you have to stop yourself from commenting on it.

“What? I had you thinking, what?!”

“Thought it was something serious!”

He laughs, and so do you, still unable to believe him.

“You asshole!”

You push him, and he leans to the side slightly before moving back closer to you.

“Oh my god.”

You cup your face in your hands and take a second to question all your previous life choices that somehow lead you to this very moment.

“You probably think I'm fucking crazy.”

You finally speak up, turning your face slightly to watch him.

“Nah.”

Frank shakes his head before turning to face you.

“I think it's sweet.”

You can't stop the smile. The corners of your lips rise as the overwhelming tension and anxiety leave your body, and you both sit in silence for another moment.

“Sorry I fucked this up.”

You speak quietly after a moment of silence. A deep sigh follows as you rethink what you just said, feeling the guilt take over your mind again.

Frank frowns, his eyebrows pull together as he silently disagrees with your words.

“Fucked what up?”

“The day? The evening? The date?”

“You didn't fuck up more than me. Late, spilled the beer, lost at the goddamn darts.”

You cover your mouth, but the quiet chuckle slips past your fingers at the situation from only a couple of hours ago. Frank quickly turns to face you, his finger pointing right at you in a threatening way.

“Don't.”

He whispers, and you lift your hands above your head, attempting to prove your innocence.

“We won't talk about that.”

He mumbles under his breath, frown still on his face, and you nod with a smile.

“I promise.”

The tone of your voice makes the corner of his lip lift slightly before he turns to face you again. His features are softer now, there's no sarcasm or irony, just Frank. He sighs quietly, and so do you.

“You should rest.”

He speaks quietly. It's not a whisper, but it feels like one, quiet and gentle, comforting, and you watch as he stands up, leaving you alone on your couch. You second guess your choice to tell him all of this one more time, longing for him to stay a little longer before quickly pushing yourself off the couch and following him to the door. Frank zips up his pants, buttons his shirt and steps out into the corridor. You stay hidden behind the door since you chose not to cover yourself with your pants after you two stopped making out. Everything indicated that he's leaving, he's out of your apartment now, the date is over, this didn't work out and yet…the conversation continues.

You stand in the doorway, your quiet words fill the corridor with the floor both you and Frank live on, but they're not loud enough for anyone to understand them clearly. Not loud enough for anyone to interrupt. The conversion quickly turns into short chuckles and gentle laughs and when Frank glances up at you with that one smile, you feel yourself breaking apart.

“You want to…stay over for a bit longer, actually?”

You ask, and he shakes his head with a quiet scoff.

“I don't know, you got beer?”

“Wine.”

He nods.

“What kind?”

“Rosé.”

You answer, fighting back a little smile as he pretends to be impressed.

“Oh, shit! Hardcore stuff.”

You shake your head, visibly offended, and pull the door open some more, inviting him back inside.

“At least if we get hammered, I don't have to walk far.”

He points out, and you roll your eyes jokingly, your body relaxing as you sigh deeply, relieved.

You spend the next couple of hours on your couch with Frank. It's not awkward, it's not upsetting, it's not…disappointing and somehow neither of you mention or even think about what happened in the same spot not even hours ago. With a decent amount of alcohol in your body, the tiredness slowly begins to take over. You lean into Frank, resting your head on his shoulder, and he doesn't protest. He even sits up slightly and wraps his arm around your waist in an attempt to make you more comfortable. With the heat of his body right beside you, you let your eyes fall shut, unable to fight the tiredness any longer.

“You wanna…try the date thing again some other time?”

Exhausted from the anxiety, adrenaline and alcohol, you snuggle up into him and without the energy to accidentally mess this up, you answer with exactly how you honestly feel. You whisper out a quiet- “Mhm. I’d like that.”.

“Yeah?”

Frank slowly rubs your shoulder with his palm.

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

Frank feels his muscles relax under the weight of your body. Leaning down, he presses a gentle kiss to the top of your head before whispering -“Goodnight, sweetheart.”

taglist 

@chelseasdagger @lorilane33 @dreadfulxives18 @5thelement @desert-fern

@joybabyjune @ohgodthebogisback 

@barnesbabee @babeincolor @liadamerondjarin @therashslingingslasher @lostfleur

[sweetrevxnge]

Like Phantoms, Forever

Chapter Twenty | Across the Stars

Pairing: Ben Solo x Reader

Summary: Your destiny had never been clear to you, only becoming so when it led you to leaving behind the life you knew to train with the galaxy's sole Jedi Master, Luke Skywalker. His Jedi Academy became your new home, bringing with it the promise of someday becoming a Jedi Knight. While navigating the ways of the Force, an inexplicable connection forms between you and a fellow student—the heir to the legendary Skywalker bloodline, Ben Solo. Together, the two of you must face your destinies and forge the path to your true selves.

What to expect: fluff, violence, sexual content, general angst, mentions/descriptions of injury and death

Additional info: this story is set in 28 ABY, six years prior to the events of TFA

*concurrently being published on AO3 and Wattpad as well!

Masterlist

Spotify Playlist

Word count: 6.4k

Chapter-specific CW: NSFW, descriptions of drowning

A/N: yes, I took 6 months to update this. no, I don't have any good excuses. but if you're still here reading along, know that I appreciate you so, so much and am trying my best to write more often :') ALSO... since starting this story, Lucasfilm has officially stated that Luke's academy is located on Ossus, so I'm going to edit the story to match that!

───────── ⋆ ☆ ⋆ ─────────

“Geegee, set course for Ilum.”

Ben’s voice echoed through the steel ship as you watched the Academy fade into the distance, lost in the green expanse of Ossus. You stood at the back of the ship’s hull, choosing to watch your departure from a narrow viewport rather than the cockpit.

“Right away, Master Solo,” said the droid, joints squeaking as it tottered to the cockpit.

As the roar of the ship’s engines lowered to a hum, unease crept in. While the thought of venturing into the galaxy to find a kyber crystal once filled you with excitement, it now made your stomach churn. It’s going to be okay, you told yourself, trying to make it true.

Leaving the safety of the New Republic’s surveillance was hard enough on its own, let alone voyaging to a foreign ice planet in the Unknown Regions. It wasn’t all bad, though. Knowing that Geegee automatically transmitted a signal back to the Academy provided you some comfort.

Behind you, you could hear the clicks and whirs of the control panel as Ben prepared the hyperdrive. You turned around, finding him hunched over the panel, muttering something about the motivator. Despite his frustration, he carried an air of confidence as he worked. Shoulders relaxed, hair pushed back from his eyes. It was a stark contrast to the first time you had flown with him in the Grimtaash.

The memory flashed in your mind when your eyes landed on the co-pilot’s seat—the same seat that cradled your bruised, bleeding body the night you escaped Zeffo. Just the thought of it was enough to make you doubt this entire journey.

Ben sat down in his chair, letting out an accomplished sigh as he rested his hands on his knees. With the coordinates entered and the drone of the engines steadily growing louder, you knew what was coming next.

“Everything alright over there?”

Ben’s voice snapped you from your trance. You let out a sharp breath, unaware that you had been holding it for the duration of your reverie.

“Princess?” he said louder this time, craning his neck to meet your gaze.

Whether it was your unconvincing nod or your failure to meet his gaze after his question that gave your apprehension away, you weren’t sure. Regardless, in a matter of seconds, he had jumped out of his chair and come to stand in front of you, hands clasped over yours in a firm—yet comforting—grip.

“Talk to me, princess.”

It came in pieces. The pounding in your temples, followed by the pungent taste of blood coating your tongue. But the memories weren’t strictly physical. Defeat and desperation replaced your climbing anxiety, polluting your senses with the stench of utter fear. All from just looking at a piece of furniture.

Just before you could unravel, Ben’s grip on you tightened, pulling you from your thoughts. It wasn’t until your name spilled over his lips, drenched with concern, that you pulled your gaze away from the co-pilot’s seat. 

“I’m sorry, I can’t–”

“Stop it.”

You stiffened. “Stop what?”

“Saying sorry all the time,” he said with a tsk. “I’m going to start charging you five credits every time you do it.”

“Well, the joke’s on you then. I don’t have any credits,” you said dryly.

Ben cocked an eyebrow at you and, without him saying a single word, you gave in. Exhaling a long breath, your nerves settled.

“It’s just hard being in here again, even under the best circumstances.” Without realizing it, you found yourself squeezing his hands in return, holding onto him like a lifeline. “Not to mention what would happen if I were unable to find a kyber crystal. Master Skywalker would send me into exile and I would be forced to live a life veiled in shame and failure–”

“Okay, I get it,” he said, fighting back a laugh. “But that’s not going to happen. It’s going to be okay, I promise,” he said, releasing your hands as he sat down again. “Now, we need to make the jump to hyperspace, which is unfortunately something you need to be sitting for. It’ll just be a moment, okay?”

You nodded in understanding, moving to sit in the co-pilot’s chair. But before you could lower yourself into the seat, Ben’s hands locked onto your waist, spinning you around and pulling you to sit on his lap.

A gasp escaped your mouth, earning a deep, amused laugh from the pilot. You whipped your head around, shooting him a disapproving look.

“What? I didn’t specify where you had to sit,” he said, squeezing your hips lightly. His gentle touch eased your nerves, calming you in a matter of seconds.

“You’re an infuriating man, you know that?” you said with mock ridicule.

“So I’m told.” Dimples framed his smile, melting away any remaining concern. If you didn’t know any better, you’d almost believe that his charm was more effective than any sedative a medical droid could offer. Almost.

Ben leaned forward, toggling a few more switches on the control panel. The feeling of his lips grazing the shell of your ear pulled you from your thoughts.

“Will you do me the honor?” he asked, weaving his fingers with yours as he guided your hand to the slender chrome lever in the center of the dashboard. The hyperdrive.

“Are you sure I’m qualified?” you asked.

With a peck on the cheek, he replied, “Absolutely.”

Your heart slammed into your ribs, causing your hands to tremble as you grabbed the rod. It was natural to be nervous about flying—especially when you were in the pilot’s seat. But the big arms wrapped around your torso assured you that you were safe.

As you pulled back on the lever, the engines roared in crescendo, launching the ship into hyperspace. The momentum pinned you against Ben, forcing you to grab onto the armrests for support. In the blink of an eye, the stars surrounding you transformed into blinding streaks of light before morphing into the swirling blue blur of deep space. To say it was exhilarating would be an understatement.

“Look at you,” Ben cooed, planting another kiss on your shoulder. “Before you know it, you’ll be piloting this thing all by yourself.”

You scoffed. “I seriously doubt that. I can barely operate a landspeeder without endangering myself and others.”

“Well, there’s only one way to get better, and I assure you, I’m a much better teacher than my uncle is.” Ben lowered his seat to a more comfortable position, pulling you back with him until you were resting against his chest.

“Is that so?” You couldn’t control your wandering hands as they crawled up the pleats of his robes, peeling back the fabric along his chest and neck.

He clasped your hands in his, holding them in place. “I mean it. After everything that happened, I want you to be comfortable piloting if you need to.”

There it was again, that horrible cloud that hung over your head at the mere mention of Zeffo. As if sensing this, Ben sighed and brought your fingers to his lips.

His warm breath spreading over your skin and his big, brown eyes peering up at you softened your resolve, leaving you no choice but to agree. “Fine. I’ll think about it.”

“I think you’ll find that I can be quite persuasive,” he said as he kissed the tender pads of your fingers, slowly working his way from pinky to thumb. He lingered on the last digit, dragging it over his plush lips. “Want me to show you?”

You nodded, mind turning hazy as you watched his lips, keenly aware of his other hand creeping under your tunic.

“Ben, we really shouldn’t,” you said halfheartedly, trying and failing to pull your hands free.

“Why not?”

“Because…” You drew the word out, motioning with your eyes to the empty hull of the ship. “This ship isn’t exactly private.”

He followed your gaze. “I see. Here, allow me to fix that.”

Without taking his attention off you, Ben flicked a switch on the control panel, causing the sliding door of the cockpit to close, hissing as it sealed you in.

“Better?” he asked, slipping his other hand under your robes, leaving a trail of gooseflesh behind as he inched towards your bra.

You breathed a sigh of relief as you rolled your hips forward, pressing down on his growing desire. “Much.”

He sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth. “Now, we need to address a different issue. You’re wearing too many clothes.” His wandering hands stopped at the clasp of your bra, undoing it in one swift motion. “Let’s fix that.”

Raising your arms over your head, you let him peel away the heavy cloth, kicking off your boots as he did the same with his robes. Arousal burned through you as you undressed in the small space, cursing the confines of the cockpit. Still in his uniform pants, Ben pulled you onto his lap again, eyes raking over your newly exposed skin like it was the first time he’d seen it.

All that remained now was your underwear, the only barrier between you and the rough cloth of his pants as you straddled his hips. “Why do I always end up more naked than you?”

“Shh…” A smirk ghosted his lips as strong hands moved to grab fistfuls of your ass, squeezing with a bruising force. “We wouldn’t want anyone overhearing us, would we?”

The heat simmering low in your belly quickly transformed into a wild flame, demanding attention. Lacing your fingers through his hair, you kissed down the curve of his neck, running along the taut muscles until you reached his collarbone.

“I can’t make any promises,” you said, teeth grazing his skin.

A low moan rumbled in his chest, vibrating on your lips. “Fuck,” he said under his breath, snaking a hand up your spine and doing the same to your hair. Tugging your head back, he leaned in close to your ear and whispered, “Then I’ll have to find another way to keep you quiet.”

With that, his grip loosened, fingers moving to trace over your jaw until his thumb slid over your bottom lip. “Open,” he ordered, trailing kisses down your chest, coming dangerously close to your breasts.

You obeyed, squirming in his lap from the anticipation, seeking any relief for the ache growing between your legs. As you parted your lips, he pushed his thumb into your mouth.

“Good. Now, suck.”

Head spinning with arousal, you swirled your tongue over his digit, earning a groan of approval from him. You stifled a gasp as he took a nipple into his mouth, alternating between sucking and rolling his tongue over it. Beneath you, you could feel his cock stiffening, causing your arousal to burn hotter.

Wanting to encourage this, you sucked harder, allowing your moans to rumble around his thumb. When his cock twitched against you, you beamed with pride.

A moment later, he released your nipple with a pop, free hand fumbling with the waistband of his pants. “I need to fuck you,” he said, practically begging as he worked his pants down.

Every nerve in your body was alight, needy for attention. He pulled his thumb away, watching in awe as a string of saliva fell from your lips before running it over the head of his cock. Pupils blown with lust, he wasted no time, dragging your underwear to the side and spreading your desire around your entrance.

With a grunt, he paused, searching your eyes. “Is this okay?”

“Yes,” you said breathlessly, aligning yourself with him. “Please.”

You both let out a sigh as he pushed into you, lips clashing together. Before long, you relaxed around him, sinking your hips lower, relishing how he stretched you. He moved slowly at first, giving you control as he closed his eyes and tipped his head back against the headrest. Dark locks of hair fanned over his face, clinging to the beads of sweat forming on his skin.

True to his word, he kept quiet, concealing his groans of pleasure as heavy breaths. The same couldn’t be said for you, who was letting out wanton moans with every thrust. It wasn’t for a lack of trying, though. The desire coursing through you had addled your mind, leaving you unable to control yourself.

A particularly loud gasp caught Ben’s attention, causing him to slow his movements. “Careful, princess.”

Nails digging into the armrests, you held back another moan. “Sorry—I just can’t—help it.”

“I know you can’t.” The corners of his lips twitched and before you knew it, his thumb was seeking entrance to your mouth again. “Now, be a good girl for me and stay quiet.”

Running your tongue over his thumb, you welcomed him in again, heat rushing to your core as you sucked. Ben’s breaths grew erratic as he continued to fuck into you, eyes trained on your lips. He effectively silenced you, but the few moans that managed to escape were now muffled by his thumb instead.

“That’s my girl,” he said, sliding his finger free and dropping it to your aching clit. “I think you deserve a reward.”

“Don’t tease, Ben,” you whimpered, eyes fluttering shut as he slowly applied pressure.

“Didn’t plan on it,” he said, drawing tight circles around your bud. 

The sensation was enough to drive you insane, hips rolling involuntarily against his hand, demanding more. Insatiable as ever, you pleaded for him to go faster, earning his cooperation.

“Fuck—baby—you look so good riding me.” His words were broken by quick breaths, evidence of his mounting pleasure. Your thighs burned from straddling his, trembling as your own pleasure threatened to wash over you. Every second you spent teetering on the edge felt torturous, stretching for eternity.

Desperate for release, you rolled your hips harder, forcing more pressure from Ben’s hand. A string of expletives fell from your lips as your resolve shattered, allowing the ecstasy bubbling beneath the surface to flood in. You bit down on the back of your hand, lost in the waves of euphoria that rippled through your body, your cunt pulsing around his cock.

With one last thrust, Ben gripped you tight, pulling you against his chest and burying his face into your neck. He littered your skin with sloppy kisses as he regained his composure, slowly leaning back into the seat.

“I wish we could stay like this forever,” you whispered, resting your forehead against his as your fingers traced over his rattling chest.

He let out a long sigh through his nose before agreeing. “Me too.”

Time passed like the stars swirling around you, and before long, the Grimtaash snapped out of hyperspace, revealing the ice planet of Ilum before you.

With a striking, silvery atmosphere, and patches of white storms riddling its surface, Ilum was truly a sight to behold. Unlike Dantooine and Ossus, there was no distinction between the terrains, only a vast, pale landscape.

“You weren’t lying about the snow,” you said, standing from your seat to get a better look.

“That’s what the coats are for,” Ben replied with a wink before calling back to the hull of the ship. “Geegee, prepare the landing sequence.”

The two of you had traded your robes for thermals and jackets in anticipation of landing, but despite the layers, a chill traveled down your spine. If you didn’t know any better, you would’ve thought it was from the planet’s atmosphere radiating through the ship, but you knew what caused it. The prospect of adventure, traversing the unknown with the person you love by your side.

The realization felt like a blow to your chest, upsetting your balance as you reclaimed your seat. A string of beeps behind you pulled you from your thoughts. Master Skywalker’s astromech had come out of rest mode, now serving as a well-timed distraction.

Ben laughed under his breath. “No, Artoo. Your wheels will freeze to the ground if you go with us.”

The droid fired back, warbling as he rocked side to side on his wheels in defiance.

“You know I’m right! We can’t just sit around all day waiting for you to defrost.”

Another rebuttal from the droid, one that made Ben’s mouth fall open. “Just… stay on the ship, okay?”

R2-D2 concluded his argument with another string of beeps before spinning his head and body around and leaving the cockpit.

The low hum of machinery permeated the silence as you sat back in your seat, arms crossed over your chest. You would’ve given anything to know what R2-D2 had said to get under Ben’s skin the way he did.

Ahead, the Grimtaash entered the planet’s atmosphere, causing the ship to lurch as it sliced through the storm clouds. The floor beneath you no longer felt solid as the turbulence rattled the ship like a leaf in the wind, dread stirring in your stomach.

“Hold on tight—it’s going to be a rough landing,” Ben said, hunched over the control panel as he completed the landing sequence.

“Yeah, I gathered that!”

With knuckles blanched around the armrests, you squeezed your eyes shut and waited for the chaos to settle. When the ship finally touched the ground, you relaxed, letting out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

Running a hand through his glossy black hair, Ben smiled at you. “Welcome to Ilum.”

All the furs and thermals in the galaxy couldn’t have prepared you for the cold of Ilum. It was visceral, threatening to turn every drop of blood in your body into crimson ice. White flurries engulfed you, blinding you to your surroundings. If it weren’t for his hand clutching yours, you’d hardly be able to make out where Ben stood.

“Lovely weather this time of year, isn’t it?” he joked, voice raised over the howling wind.

You opened your mouth to respond but stopped when the chill spread through your teeth, prompting you to pull one of your many layers over your nose for coverage. “I didn’t think it was possible to be this cold.”

Shielding the snow from his eyes, he leaned in closer. “Once we get inside the caves, it won’t be so bad.”

From the depths of his coat pockets, he retrieved a small cylindrical device, struggling to activate it from the confines of his leather gloves. Finally, a blue digital map appeared in the center, displaying a system of caves and tunnels northeast of where you’d landed.

“There,” he said, his breaths strained from the weather. “The closest entrance is less than a kilometer away. Follow me.”

Wordlessly, you did as you were told, careful to step in Ben’s footprints to avoid sinking through the snow. The two of you were uncharacteristically quiet as you trekked through the tundra. You daydreamed about beams of sunlight, steaming cups of caf, and hot showers—just to name a few. More than just a coping mechanism for the intense cold, it also served as a distraction from the task awaiting you.

A natural opening in the crag served as your respite from the elements, inviting you to explore the labyrinth within. Despite being encased in frost and ice, the alcove felt warm, if only from the vapor of your breaths.

“So, where do we go from here?” you asked, voice hoarse from the wind.

“That’s kind of the problem,” Ben said, peeling off his wind-beaten jacket. “The Empire gutted this place, making it unstable in some areas. For now, we’ll follow the charted tunnels.”

“Why am I not surprised to hear that?” you grumbled, doing the same with your coat. It came as no surprise to learn that the Empire plundered the Jedi’s sacred planet, destroying the ancient temple housed in its caves as they did. Twisting the knife in the Jedi Order’s back.

“It’s what they did best. But that’s why we’re here,” he said, a smile tugging at his rosy lips. “To rebuild.”

To defend, you thought. Your heart sank at the idea of your efforts being in vain. What good would a fledgling Jedi Order be against a rising empire? If the old Order crumbled at the height of its power, Master Skywalker’s Order didn’t stand a chance.

You cleared your throat, pushing your thoughts aside and refocusing on the task at hand. “Right. Well, then. Where should we start?” you asked, glancing at the glowing holomap in his palm.

“That’s not my decision to make.” His eyes twinkled from the blue light of the map as he placed it in your hand.

As much as you wanted to reject it, you didn’t. He was right, after all. This was your journey; he was just here as support.

“Fine,” you said with a sigh. “But I don’t want to hear any complaints if we get lost.”

He smiled down at you. “Sure thing, princess.”

You nodded, holding his gaze for a moment longer. It was impossible to ignore his frostbitten beauty. Tendrils of hair clung to his forehead, the result of melted frost and sweat. The cold highlighted his sharp features more than ever, coloring his cheeks and nose in a peachy hue. Under different circumstances, you’d be happy to help him warm up.

Heat rushed to your face as you refocused on the holomap. Now was not the time—and most certainly not the place.

You examined the details of the holomap, trying to make sense of the labyrinth of grainy blue pathways. The crack you’d slipped through was just one of many that led to the caverns within, like veins tracing back to a heart. From what you could tell, the path you were on eventually let out into a central chamber, which then branched out into a handful of different tunnels. It was as good a starting point as any, and with a deep breath, you set out.

Ben followed behind you as you navigated the tunnel, with only the occasional drop of water breaking the comfortable silence. Stalactites adorned the ceiling, each bearing a unique state of damage. Every inch of the slate walls shimmered with ice crystals, reflecting in all directions as the blue glow of the holomap passed by. Slivers of clouded sunlight squeezed through cracks in the cavern’s walls, illuminating your footpath.

“What was your first time here like?” you asked over your shoulder, studying the mining scars etched into the walls for any sign of kyber.

“Loud,” he said, sighing. “I mean, just imagine a dozen teenagers running around a place like this. It’s a miracle we didn’t drive Master Skywalker insane.”

You couldn’t help but smile at the image he painted. He, Tai, Hennix, and to your surprise, Voe came to mind, a decade younger than they were now, squealing as their feet slid across the patches of ice. And Master Skywalker, futilely trying to reign them in.

“Maybe that’s why he wasn’t keen on coming back,” you said with a scoff.

He chuckled. “Maybe.”

A beat passed before you asked, “How long did it take you to find your crystal?”

Another sigh. “I’ll tell you once you find yours.”

Where you had hoped his answer would provide you with some comfort, you were only left with doubt. What if you couldn’t find one today? Or tomorrow? Or at all?

“Of course you will,” you muttered, watching your position on the holomap as it gently pulsed, showing that you were approaching the end of the tunnel.

The cave ahead was larger than you’d expected. With a ceiling that blended with the hanging darkness, you would’ve thought you’d stumbled upon a rune crafted by ancient men. But the crags and formations embedded in the walls proved otherwise. Water trickled freely down the jagged mineral, echoing throughout the room and filling the space with a fresh fragrance—rather than that of stale air.

Veins of opaque, white crystal ran through the stone walls, and for a moment, you wondered if this was it. There was only one way to find out.

Carefully, you approached a thread, setting the holomap down on a patch of ice. With trembling hands, you peeled a glove off and brushed the surface. The cavern immediately siphoned the warmth from your fingers, turning them numb before you could determine if the ore was made of kyber.

Finally, you conceded. “I don’t feel anything,” you grumbled, working your hand back into the glove.

Ben came to stand behind you, chest pressed flush against your back as his hands slid down your hips. “That’s okay. It’s just quartzite ore.” His breath fanned over your ear. “You’re not the first person to mistake it for kyber, and you won’t be the last, either.”

You spun around, still locked in his embrace. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

He smiled. “We’ve been looking for all of twenty minutes. Don’t give up yet, princess.”

Despite everything—the weight of the unknown, the frost forming within your lungs, the lingering doubts you held about leaving the protection of the Academy—you found yourself savoring this moment. Deep in the heart of Ilum’s caves, wrapped in Ben Solo’s arms, you were content.

The vision of Coruscant appeared in your mind. Of you and him on the balcony overlooking the crowded hyperlanes of the planet home to so much life that it had become life itself. A place where anyone could blend in. Or disappear.

You blinked, wiping away the dream. “What if I never find one?”

Ben raised an eyebrow. “I’d say that’s pretty unlikely. The Empire took what they could, but that doesn’t mean that they were thorough.”

“No. I mean…” You dropped your gaze, holding his hands on your waist. “What if we left now? Before I find a crystal, and before you undergo the Jedi Trials.”

At that, his face fell. “This is your fear talking. You’re not thinking rationally.”

“No, just… listen to me.” You guided yours and his hands over your heart, acutely aware of its relentless pace. “Is this our destiny? To steal moments under the cover of darkness? Away from the eyes of the galaxy?”

Ben was silent for a long moment, his honey eyes searching yours, full of conflict. “What if it is?”

Your breaths mingled, dancing to the tune of your heartbeats. His words told a different story than his heart—the heart you shared.

“I know you don’t believe that,” you said, running a thumb over his rosy cheeks. “So, what’s stopping you?”

He untangled himself from your grasp, raking his fingers through his hair as he paced the room. “I can’t just leave. The galaxy is on the brink of another war—the same war my family dedicated their lives to ending. I’ve spent the last thirteen years working to become a Jedi Knight, to protect the people of the galaxy from conflicts like this.” He pinched the bridge of his aquiline nose, shaking his head lightly. “I’ve come too close to throw it all away now.”

He was right. The galaxy was in jeopardy, its future dependent on the New Republic’s ability to snuff out a fire before it became an inferno. War was likely, and when it came, you both needed to be there to serve the light. To serve justice.

You realized then just how polarized the two of you were. Ben, the son of a Skywalker, burdened with the weight of a legacy imposed upon him from birth. Hailing from a family that ensured he would follow the Jedi path, just as his uncle and grandfather had.

And you, the daughter of a traitor. With no one left to turn to. Whose family legacy was that of deceit and treason.

It was unfair to ask this of him; you knew that. But in the same breath, you couldn’t imagine continuing to live like this.

Before you could apologize, Ben’s hands seized your face, his lips crashing against yours. His kiss felt like a flame breathing oxygen, burning hot and powerful, rendering you senseless.

“But I can’t lose you, either,” he said, resting his forehead on yours. “You are the stars in my sky. Without you, I’d be lost in the dark.”

Your heart skipped at his confession, and yet, words eluded you. The three you’d long wanted to give voice to felt too constrictive. What you shared with him went beyond anything under the definition of love alone. It was so much more than that—a connection that tied you to one another. The Force itself granted you this insight when it bridged your minds, creating the bond you shared. To call it love would be a disservice.

“Then come with me,” you whispered, pulling away to look at him. “It doesn’t have to be today. Just someday. Tomorrow holds endless possibilities for us.”

He pursed his lips as he let out a long breath, leaving you in agonizing suspense as he prepared his answer. “Okay.”

Elated, you reached to cup his face, eager to return the kiss he’d given you moments ago. Except his hands stopped you before you could.

“But only after you’ve finished your training,” he added, hands gliding down your arms. “And when the galaxy doesn’t need our help.”

It was a fair compromise to make—no different from you asking him to leave his life behind. Most of all, it was a compromise you could live with. 

“Promise?” you asked, looking up at him through your lashes.

“I promise.” He breathed the words rather than whispered them, stoking the fire in your chest. Before you could, he closed the distance and kissed you again, more gently this time—perhaps than ever before. It was the manifestation of his word, and yours in return.

When he eventually pulled away, the ghost of his touch lingered, burning through your very soul. A vortex threatened to consume you, chipping away at your rationality, seeking to swallow you whole. But now was not the time. In this moment, you knew what you needed to do, and even if it required the strength of all the stars in the galaxy, you would do it.

You cleared your throat as you reached for the holomap, forcing yourself to be interested in anything other than tearing Ben’s clothes off. “It looks like this path here branches out into three smaller ones.” Using the dial on the base of the map, you magnified the projected image, looking to Ben for reassurance. “We’ll follow it through.”

He nodded. “Lead the way, captain.”

The two of you continued down the cavern’s narrow and winding passages for hours, only stopping when an unexpected gleam of light caught your eye. Out of the twelve times you’d hoped to find kyber, eight were quartzite, with the other four being shards of scrap metal left behind from the Empire’s demolitions. Each disappointment chipped away at your morale, feeding into your belief that you were unworthy of being a Jedi.

Ben must have recognized this as he suggested stopping for a break, digging through his pack for an energy ration. You came to stand beside him, dragging your feet across the ground as if they had turned into blocks of ice.

“Here,” he said, offering you the ration he’d fished out. “You need to eat. This will tie you over until we can get back to the ship.”

“At this rate, that could be days from now.” Your fingers had lost all dexterity as you tried to unwrap the ration, mouth beginning to water at the thought of food. “I just want to go home.”

As you took the first bite, your vision turned white, but only for a fraction of a second. It startled you, causing you to drop the chocolate-coated ration onto the icy floor.

“Hey! Careful with the Endorian cocoa. That stuff’s hard to come by nowadays,” Ben said as a deafening shriek pierced the silence of the caverns. 

You twisted your neck, trying to identify where it originated, heart hammering against your ribs as you lifted a trembling finger to your lips.

Ben grabbed the crook of your arm, turning you to face him. “What are you doing?” His tone was stern, seemingly unfazed by the cry that still echoed through the caves.

You wrested your arm free, lowering your voice to below than a whisper. “Are you deaf? That noise—the scream. We’re not alone.”

“I didn’t hear anything.” His dark eyes were wide, suspicious. “And we are alone. If we weren’t, the holomap would pick up their heat signatures, too.”

You lowered your eyes to the map, finding only yours and Ben’s forms in shades of red and yellow. But before you could consider any logical explanations for the sound, another cry rang through the tunnel, this time coming from the unexplored end of the path. Shrouded in darkness, the path beckoned you, drawing you closer like a magnet. The voice was deep and distorted, yet familiar. You closed off your other senses, focusing only on the voice as it came to clarity. Someone—or something—was calling for you.

“Come to me…” it said, nearly clear enough to be mistaken for another person in the room. “My love.”

Your breath hitched and tears welled in your eyes, rolling down your cold cheeks and onto the exposed fur of your jacket. It was a voice you wouldn’t soon forget.

“M-mom?” you asked, like a child searching for comfort in the night.

Ben stiffened at the word. “Princess, there’s no one else here.” From the volume of his voice, you could tell he was wary. He must have thought you were in a hallucinatory state, and truthfully, you couldn’t blame him.

“I know, but I can hear her calling for me,” you said, voice cracking as you stepped towards her voice. “I have to follow it.”

“No, you don’t.” He reached for you again, pressing the back of his hand to your forehead. “Are you sure you’re feeling okay? Maybe you caught something in the infirmary or–”

“I’m fine,” you snapped, pulling away. “I just… feel like this is something I need to do.”

“Well, you’re not going alone,” Ben insisted, trailing behind you. “I promised Master Skywalker that I would keep you safe, and I can’t do that if we’re separated.”

You ignored him, turning on your heels and reaching into the Force to guide you in the right direction.

Beyond the shadows was another frost-lined chamber, and as you entered, the world around you fell silent. No voices, no footsteps, no ambient drops of water. Only the sound of your breath.

Your boots squeaked on the icy ground as you shifted your weight, glancing back to find Ben. To your surprise—and horror—you found yourself entirely alone. Not only that, but the chamber itself had become something unrecognizable, with no exits and cramped walls.

Panic swelled in your chest and as it did, the ice beneath you gave way, plunging you into dark, freezing water.

You were numb in an instant. Struggling against the weight of your clothes and the fear consuming you, you tried to swim, limbs heavy as bricks as you willed them to move. Unable to process what had happened, your thoughts were overtaken by instinct.

Slowly, you pushed forward, following the only source of light spilling through the black water. With no end in sight, you wondered if you would even make it, lungs growing tight, burning more with each passing second.

The light was pure, preternaturally so, blinding you as you swam into its glow. You resisted the urge to draw a breath, knowing that doing so would only seal your fate. You couldn’t die like this, not now. Not after the promises you’d made in these caves.

As the light engulfed you, you thought of Ben. Where was he? Could he sense that you were on the verge of sinking into oblivion? Would he mourn you when he realized?

With that last question, you used what was left of your energy to call to the Force, pleading for its aid. It wasn’t long before its familiar warmth came to you, an invisible hand grabbing yours and guiding you to the surface. 

As you approached the rippling plane of water, you could hear your name being called, dampened by the roar of blood rushing in your ears. It came again, louder this time, synchronous with your hand breaking through the water.

Cool air kissed your skin, welcoming you back to life. You thrashed at the surface, coughing up the water you’d taken in when you fell, nearly heaving from the force of it. As you opened your burning eyes, you found that the hand holding yours wasn’t invisible at all, but tangible, as real as your own.

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” your mother said, lips unmoving as her words permeated the air. “You’re safe now.”

She looked ethereal, a backdrop of white light painting her like a vision of an angel. For a moment, you were sure that you’d arrived in the afterlife, reunited with your mother at long last. It wasn’t until her hand slipped away and yours hit the hard stone floor you realized you weren’t.

The brilliant light vanished along with her presence, leaving you blanketed in darkness. Desperate to escape the freezing water, you clawed at the jagged stone of the opening, mustering the strength to prop yourself up on your elbows. Your nails dug into your palms as you pushed yourself out of the water, crawling only a few inches before falling onto your back, muscles screaming. The layers of wet clothing clung to your skin, sending a violent chill through your bones, but you didn’t care. All you could focus on was your breathing, the sweet sting of air filling your lungs.

The Force lingered around you as you lay there, fists slowly unfurling as the adrenaline waned. As your fingers relaxed, something rolled out of your palm, hitting the wet stone with a soft clink.

Your eyes shot open at the sound. Scrambling to sit up, you searched for the object in the dim light, but it didn’t take you long.

Beside you was a glowing crystal, pulsing with a heartbeat of its own and humming a soft melody attuned to your ears. You blinked in disbelief as you reached for it, tears blurring your vision.

A blue heart of kyber, calling to you.

[shaisuki]

Bet you’re tired of hearing about people contacting you for the hate from that awful and annoying anon you received I just want to give my two cents on the situation if that’s okay.. I don’t know why people have to harass people for what they like to write about. As long as its not anything hateful directed at anyone than it should be fine! Plus chubby/fat/obese/thick people exist and there’s absolutely no reason why anyone should be bigoted towards someone. Also newsflash to the annoying idiot, if you go on someone else’s blog and see content you don’t like just ignore it. Why bother interacting with it especially in such an annoying matter that wastes everyone else’s time and energy and it makes you look like a fool. You’re not welcome here and this space isn’t for you. If you want skinny content go look for it somewhere else since this is for all the lovely thickies and chunkies who also deserve to be loved and respected for who they are. We already get told time and time again that we’re ugly, lazy, stupid, not enough, etc. because we’re a certain size, but we’re not going to let annoying people bring us down just because we also want to be represented. We’re still human and you have no idea what someone is going through. Not victimizing myself or other chubby people but we all come from different walks of life and we’re just as important to society as skinny or average sized people are. It’s fine to have your own body preferences and opinions about health/weight but if you’re going to be hateful and dumb, keep them to yourself. All I really got to say next is keep doing you. You’re very talented at what you doing and you’re fulfilling a niche/genre that a lot of people really appreciate. Plus I hope you’ve been getting a ton of more followers after all of this since the attention from the hate brought me over and you just gained a new follower! 💜 thank you annoying ass anon because your hate-spewed message just introduced me to an awesome new blog! 😈

i am tired as i am enjoying to piss them fatphobics and i stand with you nonnie. these skinny bitches can't accept the fact that fat people are getting recognized and being seen in a new light where fatness is not a bad thing and is a natural order of what a human should be. they harass writers who writes for fat people to validate the their sorry selves and that is very low for them. they just can't be happy and accept the fact that the world doesn't only revolve around them.

and i thank you for sharing this with me nonnie. i love you and take care of yourself.

[tarotbydelilah444]

🌹✨Will You & Your Person Reconcile ?

Happy Venus Day 🌹! I want to say thank you all for all the love you guys have shown me and my page. I am super grateful to each and every one of you and I am glad that my readings are resonating with all of you. This pac reading is a special one for all my followers as a token of my appreciation, so I hope you enjoy. Make sure to follow my Instagram because I am posting content and information on how to book with me, if you are interested in a personal reading, as always, sending you love & light 🤍✨ - Delilah pile one • 🌹

crystal | rose quartz • unconditional love & compassion

the real reason for the breakup | king of swords •  the tower 

Okay, so I am picking up that maybe communication was an issue in the connection. You and your person may have had lots of arguments throughout your relationship, and communication really sucked between the two of you. It got to a point where the two of you began to stop expressing how you truly felt to each other to avoid confrontation. You two seem like you couldn’t agree on simple things and it would lead into explosive arguments and harsh words being exchanged to each other. Lots of miscommunication, petty arguments, and drama caused the ending of this connection. Jealously and trust issues could have also contributed to the ending of this relationship.Both of you may have thought the other was being unfaithful.

how does your person feel about you currently | five of swords • queen of swords • retreat

Your person spends most of their time in their head thinking about the arguments that were exchanged between you and them in the past . This person feels like you had a huge ego and you always had to be right no matter what the cost. They also view you as very cold and cutthroat. This person is still upset or holds alot of resentment towards you about the outcome of this situation, but they feel like it was the best decision for them to walk away from you and that the connection run its course. Your person may have some unspoken words that they may say to you in the future when there is less tension between the both of you, but for the time being, they have decided to keep their distance and move on from you and the situation.

their perspective on the breakup| page of swords • it is safe for you to love 

They felt like you were very immature or you didn’t take things seriously when it came to the connection. They feel like you played a lot of games and you did petty things out of spite whenever you would get upset with them or just to get a reaction out of them. They feel like you were very reckless with your words and this caused this person to resent you for the hurt you caused them. They feel like your actions are defense mechanisms to avoid being hurt or being taken for granted, and this person tried to make you see that they were different from your past relationships, but they were unsuccessful to help you look pass your traumas.

how do you feel about your person currently |  five of pentacles • the judgement • honeymoon 

Some of you are focusing on self love before returning back to this person. So for most of you, I see that you want to reconcile with your person. The universe taught you a lesson for the part you played in your connection, and this required you to learn some harsh lessons and to take a deep look at yourself in the mirror to confront yourself and your mistakes. You had to go through these lessons to see your mistakes and I believe that you have learned those lessons to humble yourself and now you are hoping that your person can forgive you for things that transpired in the past between the two of you, and they will be open to the chance of getting back together. Even if you two don’t reconcile, i see you wanting to make peace with them and resolves any issues that still exists between the both of you, so you can move forward.

your perspective of the breakup | eight of swords • separation 

From your perspective, you and this person broke up due to many insecurities. I think those insecurities lie within you when it came to the connection ( let’s be real for a moment). You had a lot of fears going into your connection which didn’t allow you to fully give your person a chance, due to being scared to trust and be vulnerable with your person, so alot of the things you did in your connection triggered trauma responses out of you that originated in your past relationship. You self-sabotaged your connection and created a distance between you and your person because you may have felt unworthy of love for so long that when you got into this connection with your recent ex, you expected this person to act like people from your past.

will the two of you reconcile | two of swords • ace of wands • getting to know each other

It is up to the two of you. I feel like there is a chance for reconciliation, if both people get onto the same page. Hesitation and fear is holding both of you back from allowing this connection to come back together. One of you needs to make the first move, if you really want this connection back, so stop waiting for the other person to reach out and make a move. There is a chance for a reconciliation to happen, but it requires you two to open up to each other and make your intentions clear. You and this person are being encouraged to take it slow and get to know each other again.

random messages • eighth house placements/synastry, popularity, energy vampire, Asia, divine masculine, divine feminine, big decisions, mistress, “I am grateful for your presence in my life,” trust issues, family issues,  blockages, solar plexus chakra, braids/locs, muscular body type, 555, summer, tall, December, green eyes, “ don’t run from me,” Scorpio, Taurus, Capricorn, Gemini, Libra, Aquarius, Virgo, Cancer, and Pisces, well endowed, experienced, sex toys, & oral

Channeled Songs • 🌹 Don’t Matter To Me • Drake ft Michael Jackson Vanish • Giveon

pile two • 🖤

crystal | larimar • renewed outlook • harmony

the real reason for the breakup | six of wands • ten of pentacles 

I think the two of you had conflicting values coming into the connection. The two of you could have two totally different personalities and views of the world. I think you or this person enjoys their independence and doesn’t like to be tied down nor smothered. The other person values security and stability. I see that you or this person could be use to causal relationships, while the other is more into relationships that has longevity and that are more serious. The reason for the breakup is because someone did not want a serious connection or wasn’t open to the idea of being in highly committed relationship and the other person wanted a serious connection with the other.  how do they feel about you currently | king of cups • ten of wands • past life relationship  This person feels like you are their soulmate, or they have a strong connection and attraction to you that is hard to deny. This person likes you very much and they still care for you, even after the breakup. Their feelings are still strong for you and they are grateful for your presence in their life. They feel like no one could ever take your place in their heart because they feel like their heart belongs to you. This person refuses to move on or accept that this connection is truly over for good, they are still holding out hope that you and them will reunite one day. This person is still hurt and they carry the pain of losing this connection and you. This person could possibly blame themselves for the reason for why the connection ended, even if they weren’t at fault.

their perspective of the breakup | four of cups • religious factors 

This person could feel like you were bored with them or you weren’t really that into them and invested into the relationship. They knew that you two had differences, but they were willing to still work on the connection with you and understand your and their differences for the sake of the connection. They feel like no matter what they did to make this connection work, they just couldn’t make you fully happy or give you what you really desired. They feel like you weren’t grateful for the connection or didn’t recognize their efforts. 

how do you feel about this person currently | • seven of pentacles • page of wands • make the effort 

you seem more willing to put the work or make the effort when it comes to this connection than you were in the past.  You may have some hesitation or you may be uncertain about your feelings about your person, but I see you are still open to reconciling with your person, if the opportunity presents itself. I think you want to take your time to get to know the person and explore your feelings with them because they are relatively new and fresh. I see that you find this person extremely attractive and amusing.

your perspective for why the connection ended | five of cups • finances & career 

I think you were grieving about something from your past, or this relationship may have triggered painful memories from your past in you, take it if it resonates. I think you were to focus on the cons of this connection rather than focus on the pros of what this connection could have offered you. For some, you could have been juggling your person and another person, who could’ve be a fire sign. You may have decided to leave your person and indulge in a fantasy with this fire sign masculine and you got feed a fantasy by this person and quickly realize the grass was not in fact greener on the other side, now you may feel regret for not fully appreciating your person and the connection that they once offered you. 

will you and this person reconcile | four of swords •  two of cups • heart to heart conversations

there is a chance for you and this person to reconcile, but give this person and yourself time before you two come together. There is still healing on your & their side that needs to be done before you two can reconcile. It’s important that you two be honest and upfront about your feelings for one another for this connection to fully blossom into something special. It’s important to rebuild trust within this connection and make sure that there is an equal give and take in this connection for it to work.  random messages • “I am grateful for your presence in my life, painful memories, sex-work, funny, 777, next month, September, December, invitation, different lifestyles, sponsorships, powerful, 12th house synastry, 11th house, friendships, community, wishes, June, tattoos, new job on the way, creativity, powerful, rewards from the universe, braids/locs, natural hair, new love alert, blocked communication, cut them off, Aquarius, Taurus, Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces, Capricorn, Virgo, simp for you, “you rock my world,” they imagine how good you taste

Channeled Song • 🖤 Missed You • The Weeknd

As You Are • The Weeknd

pile three • ♥️

crystal | pink tourmaline • healing & serenity

the real reason for the breakup | queen of cups (rx) • four of wands

You or your person was holding back their feelings out of insecurity or fear of being vulnerable and rejected. The fear was all in someone’s head causing them to be delusional when it came to this connection and sabotaging the connection. I feel like this pile should read pile one because they had a similar message and struggled with the same issue. This was a stable and secure relationship with a soulmate  or someone you share a past life connection with, but someone’s fears and self-sabotage ruined this great connection you had with this person. You & your person came into each other’s life to help each other heal these issues and were given the chance to experience a meaningful romance of a lifetime, but in the end, you or this person allowed all your doubts, fears, anxieties, and traumas to take control of the relationship and it resulted in the end of this connection.

how do they feel about you right now | the star • three of wands • soulmate 

This person believes that you are their soulmate. They feel such a familiarity when it comes to you and the connection and they feel like you are their other half that they have been waiting for their whole life. You still hold a special place in this person’s heart no matter what has transpired in the connection. They find you to be very beautiful and you are their ultimate dream girl, the only girl they have eyes for. This person is very hopeful when it comes to a reconciliation and they are waiting for when you two will be able to see each other again and reconnect because they miss and love you so fucking much that their heart & soul cries that they aren’t near you at the moment. They hope that you are healing and growing since the last time they saw or spoke to you. Your person knows that you two will find your way back to each other when the time is right, so far now, they are choosing to stay optimistic and focus on their own path. 

their perspective of the breakup | ace of pentacles • trust 

This person may have felt like you didn’t fully trust them even when what they offered you was solid and secure. They feel like their intentions were good and clear, but it wasn’t enough to convince you that you could trust them and take a real chance on the connection. This person wishes that you had more faith in them and in the connection because they believe or at least still believe that this connection could stand the test of time and really bloom into something authentic and beautiful, if you would give this connection a real shot. This person also feels like this was a connection divinely created by the divine for the both of you to explore and allow everything to fall together in due time. This person feels like they invested a lot of time and effort into this connection and they wish you would have done the same.

how do you feel about your person currently | ten of swords • five of pentacles • engagement 

You are expecting the worst and looking at this situation from a pessimistic point of view. You feel the connection is over or that you fucked up so badly that you believe that there is no point of return, but I think that is just your self-doubt and fears getting the best of you and convincing you that this connection is not salvageable or there no chance in hell that you and your person will be able to start over & reconcile. I think you are still processing the pain and you are feeling remorseful for your past actions towards your person and the part you played in sabotaging your relationship. You are so deep in your feelings and focus on negativity that you don’t see that you have a chance to heal and fix your connection with your person, but it will require you to do the work and redeem yourself to be worthy of being given a second chance. You have all the tools in front of you to get out of this lack mindset or woe is me attitude, the time to start is now!

your perspective of the breakup | three of pentacles • new love 

You may feel like there was a lack of effort and trust in the past on your end. You can acknowledge how you weren’t showing up for your partner as you should in the past. You didn’t put in as much work and effort in the relationship, and you later realized after the connection your mistakes and how you can grow from them instead of repeating the same mistakes in the relationship. 

will you two reconcile | the judgment • seven of swords • retreat 

Yes, the both of you have a chance to reconcile the connection, but it will require your both to forgive yourselves, the mistakes done in the past, and forgive each other, if the both of you want this relationship to move forward. It will also be wise for the both of you to be honest and open when it comes to your feelings with one another in the near future, so no more hidden feelings and emotions from each other out of fear or insecurity. You both need to be fully invested into this connection for it to work out, so make sure there is an equal give and take on your and your person’s end to avoid the same issues that you guys dealt with in the past.  Honor and accept that both of you are very different from one another, but still make the effort and give your relationship a fighting chance. Also, keep your relationship private, there is no need for you to involve outside influences in your relationship. Trust each other & the divine to guide and protect this connection.

random messages • May, April, July, September, 111, confident, anxiety & doubts, entrepreneur, London, “ I know that I hurt you,” financially secure, invitation, finances improving, blocked communication, darker complexion, third eye chakra, summer, blue eyes, brown/black hair, stop looking, divine masculine, talking shit/messy, “ I love you,” “ I miss you,” I want to cuddle with you, Capricorn, Scorpio, Aquarius, Virgo, & Taurus, they want you to spend the night, backshots, your moans/groans turn them on, & up against the wall

Channeled Songs • ♥️ Soon As I Get Home • Faith Evans Out of Time • The Weeknd

[nomsfaultau]

(Potentially) Daily ask №

PS. Potentially cause I probably won't stick to it

So, I was sitting on a lesson and then I realised that you allowed me to send you asks so I wrote out whatever questions came to my mind about Fault.

Wilbur edition!

His legs rearrange to be the highest individual in the room, yes? Is the hair or hats included in that? What if I wear an absurdly tall hat? Will he be taller than it or than my actual height?

He controls darkness or is darkness what I got out from your shitposts. What if I shine a really bright light on him. Okay but what if I go brighter. Or even brighter.

Do only his legs rearrange themselves to be taller? Does his torso stay the same? Does he occasionally look like a beginner artist who hasn't gotten the hand of proportions yet drew him?

If there's an illusion but he doesn't know it is one, will he be taller than it?

You said that he controls the darkness and all things that crawl in it. Moles technically crawl in the darkness. Can he control them? Mole pet when?

Would he and Nico di Angelo from Percy Jackson and the Olympus get along?

I've noticed that he doesn't get as much content as the other blorbos? Is there a reason?

The "Foreign no matter where he goes" post made me sad. The guy deserves a home even if his literal being won't allow it apparently. Can I hug him and how likely am I to die if I do that? Spontaneously hugging and asking first both possibilities included pls ^^

Okay that's all beeyeee

I am enthused to answer any questions and absolutely no pressure at all to ask them!

It goes to biological height not clothing, so a hat or stilts wouldn’t change his assorted height. Although doesn’t tend to count hair. It typically works mostly on humanoids who have matter but he can will it work on say The Blade, who at some point jokes that Wilbur’s height does not take into account his crown of bone-antler things. At which point yes it does screw you and it always has, mildly rewriting everyone’s memory of how tall Wilbur is. It’s a very mild and mostly useless form of magically controlled information.

He has a void on the left side of his face where shadowy eldritch monstrosities come out of. Wilbur can’t entirely control them especially when scared, but can give orders that may be followed or bargains that have to be followed but cost him something. They deffo get worse at night, and you’re on the money! The voidlings despise concentrated light. They do fine in normal light conditions, but flashlights and spotlights they don’t appreciate and will avoid, usually by fleeing into Wilbur’s face or risk dissolving. Wilbur himself is not harmed since he’s made out of flesh and bone (and arguably accurate organ arrangements). Hence the Foundation trapping it in very bright light 24/7. Godflame, which is what Philza is made of, is so anathema to the void that if it intersects with void shadow they both annihilate one another bc it’s a universal paradox to be in one place. Wilbur despises flashbangs in particular, but also doesn’t like complete darkness bc it can’t trust the void completely.

His proportions do not change at all! Which can look very silly. This is roughly its proportions when taller than The Blade.

(From casefiles again)

4. The height thing is not very controlled by him and would not work on an illusion. At which point Wilbur would like deduce the creature before him isn’t made out of matter.

5. It has some degree of control over shall we say capital Darkness that specifically comes from the void in his head and that are still connected by shadowy tethers to the void. Wilbur could potentially try to?? Manipulate the mole??? It would difficult as they don’t have a very robust language system but they are eusocial so I assume they have some level of communication. Since Wilbur can speak all languages it could potentially have rudimentary communication with the mole..? Honestly he’s more likely to eat it than keep it as a pet alas. He’s rather pragmatic, and feeding something that serves no purpose doesn’t make sense to a guy who’s spent most of his life on the verge of starving. Uh. Tommy excluded of course. 6. Well they’re both certainly edgy shadow guys for sure. Wilbur at least wouldn’t be racist to him once he realizes Nico is only half human. Potentially bonding over wrestling with powers, and not feeling like they fit in anywhere. Wilbur would probably think him stupid and gullible for falling for Minos’ manipulations tho, and wouldn’t cut him any slack for being young. 7. My focus on each of them sorta shifts around. I’m a bit on the Tubbo area atm though it’s about to transition to be more The Blade heavy. The first arc of section 2 was rather more Wilbur centric, with him on his own trying to defend the ‘kids’ and making some bad decisions in the process via deals with the devil. There’s lots of fun to be had with it in the future, particularly in section ~4 but also five main characters is a bit of a juggle sometimes. And also while SCP Wilbur feels distinct to me from the actual guy, it’s still sometimes hard to work with him because of his progenitor since I want the character to be fully unbiased when I’m writing it. 8. Part of Wilbur’s arc is to stop pretending it prefers life on the run and really does want a home. Not that living in a society is really possible, but it’s not called found family for nothing! It’ll have to be something made. And Wilbur is of a personal philosophy where he doesn’t kill anyone unless he thinks they’re about to kill him. Very golden rule, if often very vicious bc it doesn’t control the void completely. So, you’re very unlikely to die from a hug! If given a spontaneous embrace it’d probably be a little startled, but try to keep it brief since it doesn’t pass for human under close inspection and would prefer to avoid anything that could mean the Foundation finding it. If asked, he’ll probably calculate the risk of discovery versus social friction leading to greater attention, and accept the hug for appeasement. Since Wilbur really mostly hugs Phil, he’d likely find it surprisingly cold, and be perhaps too affectionate since he doesn’t know the typical level of affection for an embrace between strangers. It would probably be trying to gauge what gambit is being used by you, since it isn’t familiar/trustful of kindness from strangers. Suave and flippant on the surface, but mentally running around in circles trying to figure out what your angle is. Wilbur likes to pretend he’s always on top of things, but a combination of poor memory and lack of socialization mean he’s usually scrambling to figure out what’s happening lmao.

[milklattecat]

I'm making this post to hopefully spread more information on Tumblr (because I see a lot more on Twitter/X) about the ongoing genocide of the Palestine people so please don't just look at the art take the time to read through the articles and directly go to the threads/posts I'll be linking. If you can't donate, then share, reblog, and do your daily click. If you want to repost my art on another app, go ahead, but I would appreciate a link back here so other people can still get to the threads and information. Also, including a thread about the KOSA act that's trying to be passed in the US; supporting Palestine or anything, for that matter, will become near impossible if we don't take it seriously.

I wanted to add so much more, but I reached the link limit, at least for the fancy ones(?) and I don't know if people would be comfortable clinking on links with no context. I'm not good at writing, which is why I try to stick to reblogging and sharing information that other people can actually explain to you, unlike me. Now, if you want to learn anything in more depth or hear what's happening from actual Palestinian people, do your own research, follow reporters from Palestine that are currently risking their lives to get news out to the world, look at the content Israeli posts they don't hide their crimes. If you're willing check out my Twitter/X, I've only been reblogging information about the genocide, places, and people currently going through the same situations. I'm so very thankful to you, and I apologize for the lengthy post; there was a lot that needed to be shared, and I hope it can continue to be spread around so nobody can claim ignorance in the future. This is a terrible part of our history happening right now, and whether you were on the right side or not, you can't claim you didn't know. Ah, one more thing spreading the happy moments is also okay. In fact, please remember to do so because it really helps humanize Palestine and its people.

[butcharium]

hi im gonna call myself R for the sake of being anon!

and so, i’m R. i’m 16. and i realized really recently im a butch (or baby butch, if thats the right term??) ive been finding comfort in many butches blogs and ive been able to see myself in so many of these posts, but you and cowboyjen68 have especially stood out to me. you both have created such immensely safe spaces for people of all ages and identities within the lesbian community and i just want to say im really grateful. i know not all your reposts and content is geared towards minors necessarily so i try to avoid the stuff that isnt for my agegroup, but with all the butch positivity and posts about finding love for yourself as a butch and just. being who you are. its so beautiful. im so appreciative for people like you. thank you for doing what you do and thank you for being so open about being butch.

- R. he/him.

this is an incredibly sweet message to recieve thank you so much and i am so happy you're on a journey of self descovery and that you're finding some spaces which speaks to you and it is such an honour to be one of them and also to be mentioned in the same breath as @cowboyjen68!

Especially since you're just 16 I want to say that even though finding yourself in the term butch (or other) can be really helpful, it is still not a stand in for things like self acceptance, self confidence, and the likes. Identity is a life long project, and "finding your ture self" is a concept too abstract and theoretical to properly engage with I find. If you focus on being grounded in yourself, becoming properly comfortable in your own skin, building self confidence (but be careful with "fake it till you make it"), being genuine in your being and interests and traits. All of these will help you immensealy, both with your own hapiness and satisfaction, and with how you move through the world, especially as a butch. Your skin won't necessarily become thicker by it, but it will become more repellant, and the opinions of others matter less when you stand grounded in yourself. I have myself also found that when people can sense that I am confident and grounded in my masculinity they give me less shit for it also.

Also while this is a personal blog it is in the end a very curated one. I made it after lurking around butch blogs on here, where i saw a lot of explicit sexual content or similar, which is good and okay but not necessarily what I was looking for or found most interesting. Sometimes you have to make yourself what you want to see, and I don't think I put things on my blog which is more mature than what you can see in galleries or museums, or what at least I myself was exposed to by school. I cannot speak for the ops of all the posts I reblog of course, but even if it isn't specifically geared towards minors per se I am not uncomfortable with you following or interacting with this blog.

I want to finish off by saying that when I was young and less confident and less happy with my masculinity and non conformity (and homosexuality but that one sat deep to realise) one of the things which kept me going was the knowledge that if I endured and kept honest and visible and open with who and how I am, this difficult path might be just a bit easier for the next to follow (and somewhere along the road I found my confidence!)

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Dirty Work 43

Joyous Walpurgisnacht: Part I

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as bullying, familial discord/abuse, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You start a new gig and find one of your clients to be hard to please.

Characters: Loki

Note: Here we go!

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

As you stand from the table, your name draws your attention from your plate. Mr. Laufeyson mirrors you as he peers over at his mother. You notices how his fingers twiddle by his side. 

“You’ll come get ready with us, dear,” Frigga says, “Trina is coming to do our hair an makeup. Be sure to grab your dress.”

“Oh, uh…” you look at Laufeyson and he shrugs with one shoulder. “Okay.”

“Don’t worry about my brother,” Hela snorts, “I’m certain he’ll be torturing himself over the proper shade of white; shall I go for the ivory or the pearl?”

“Quiet,” Laufeyson sneers under his breath before he turns to you, “go on then,” he looks at his watch, “we all have much to do.”

He strides past you and you watch after him. He’s still upset. It’s your fault. You’ve been errant in your duties. You will make it up to him. At Walpurgisnacht, you won’t dare leave his side.

“Come,” Frigga beckons to you, “Hel, you too.��

“Yes, mother,” she drones and rounds the table.

You follow them to the door, only noticing as you approach that Thor’s done the same. He keeps a step back as he waves within, “after you, lady.”

“Er, thanks,” you eke out and step in ahead of him.

He’s quick to tail you, his fingers sending a shiver through you as he touches the back of your arm, “happy birthday, little one. How old are you now?” He asks.

You wince and hug yourself, keeping your chin down as he matches your pace. Frigga reaches to flick a strand of Hela’s black hair as she gabs on about it. You chew your lip and crane to look over your shoulder. You don’t see Odin, he must’ve stuck behind to chat with the staff.

“Thirty-two,” you answer as you face straight.

“Mmm, not too old,” his hand brushes across your back, “you look much younger.”

“Thank you, uh,” you stutter as his touch ventures further, tickling the top of your ass. Your panic swells and you bat him away, “I… have to go.”

You don’t know how to make him stop, but you can control yourself. You rush ahead to catch up to Frigga. As you come up at her side, Thor’s low rocky chuckle rolls through the air. You don’t look back as your blood runs cold. You don’t know why he won’t leave you alone.

“Ah, dear, I think we could put some flowers in your hair,” Frigga remarks as she waves you ahead of her up the stairs, “to go with that pretty dress of yours.”

“Sure,” you agree.

“She’ll look like a bride,” Hela scoffs, “perhaps just some diamonds around her neck–”

“Pearls,” Frigga argues.

“Pearls? She’s not an old lady yet,”

“Eh? Pearls are nice,” Frigga counters.

“Perhaps for you,” Hela rebuffs, “babe,” Hela swoops around her mother and drapes her arm over your shoulders as you turn down the hall, “what do you prefer?”

You blink, finding it hard to breathe through the tension. You don’t dare pick a side.

“I like the dress on its own,” you say.

“Ah, yes, she’s right, it is so nice, it would be ruined with too much,” Frigga hums, “how about just the petals,” she reaches to touch your hair, “a small accent but not garish.”

“Mm, yes, like a little fairy,” Hela muses as she retracts her arm, “I’m afraid I’m going for more of a witchy vibe.”

“Oh dear,” Frigga mutters, “Hel.”

“A good witch, mother, never fear.”

✨

You look in the mirror, swept away by your own reflection. The small white flowers in your hair are placed so delicately and just so, matching with those on the dress in their fluttery display. You skin seems to glow from the precise application of makeup, your lashes are long and curved but not too heavy. Your lips are painted a natural hue with a glossy finish and a touch of blush lends colour to your cheeks. It feels like a lot but looks like less.

The dress is just as wonderful as you remember. The outer layer decorated in carefully cut flowers over the simple dress of white beneath. The skirt flows to your lower calves, ending just above the straps of your heels, a bow on the back of each. You blink and tilt your head at your reflection, is it really you looking back?

“Absolutely gorgeous,” Hela growls as she steps up behind you, “uh, so darling.”

“You look amazing, dear,” Frigga calls over.

You turn to watch the older woman pin on large dangling earrings. She wears a white dress hemmed below her knees with large fanned bell sleeves. Her necklace is strung with pearls that get large towards the centre and her silver and gold hair is spun into loose waves pushed back behind an elaborate headband with golden points.

Hela is dressed much less elegantly. Her jumpsuit is taut to her figure, the neckline cute so deep you wonder how it stays up. She wears a sort of cowl, sparkling with diamond as it goes from chin to shoulders, a larger gem dangling down her cleavage.

“Well, I think we’re almost there,” Frigga announces breezily, “come, come.”

She ushers you and Hela from the room into the hall. The house is buzzing with activity. As you come downstairs, you’re lost amid the flurry. The kitchen is bustling with furor and workers flit around like bees in a hive. You stay close to the other women as they walk unfettered through the rush.

You come out to the veranda, clutching the sides of your skirt as you watch your feet, careful not to trip on your heels. In the sunlight, Frigga sighs, and calls to someone. You look up and follow her down the steps. 

The lush green flat of the yard is entirely changed. A white floral arch, white cloth draping over the roofs of newly erected tents, tables in similarly silky ivory, petals scattered all around as stems are capped with full blooms atop posts, in plinthed vases, and around tables. A stage stands, blocking out much of the garden, a bar along an edge of the expanse with several workers behind it arranging glasses and bottles.

“Yvonne,” Frigga trills again, “come, come, we should like some photos.”

A woman in a white suit approaches with a large camera in hand. She is tall with full hips emphasized by the cut of her clothing. Her strawberry blond hair is twisted into a high bun with two pin straight pieces framing her face.

“Hello, Von,” Hela purrs at her familiarly. The women glance at each other and an eyebrow twitches. They know each other. Everyone does but you.

“This is our photographer,” Frigga introduces you to Yvonne, “she’ll be taking pictures so don’t mind if you see a flash or two through the night.” She turns back to the strawberry blonde, “hm, where are the men? They must be here…”

You fold your hands and sway back and forth. Surely you won’t be included. This is for the family. You’ll just stand to the side.

“Ah, Odin!” Frigga throws her hands up, greeting her husband as he approaches in a white pressed shirt beneath a matching stiff vest and white slacks. He wears a golden chain around his collar and cufflinks at his wrists. His shoes also bear golden buckles. “There you are. Where are your sons?”

“So quick to disown them,” Odin kids, “they were…” he looks back.

Thor clamours down from the veranda, combing out his long blond hair which he’s let loose from its usual bun. The waves fall to his shoulders, just along his open collar, unbuttoned to boast the thick muscles of his chest. He beams in white just like everyone else. A gold medallion hangs from his neck and his fingers are stacked with rings.

Loki follows last, shoulders high, hands staunchly tucked into his pockets. He looks at the sky as he appears in his simple attire. White shirt, white tie, white slacks cute perfectly to his sleek figure. White loafers with plain silver buckles. His black hair is swept back, the front pieces drawn back into a clip behind his head as the tails curl out behind his ears.

As he takes the same path as his father and brother, his eyes search and find you. His irises flicker and his brows arch. You avert your gaze and look at the grass, fidgeting as you wait awkwardly to the side. Frigga preens at each son and tells them how handsome they look.

“Alright, alright, we’ll get a few photos before the guests arrive,” she claps her hands.

There’s movement along the edge of your vision. You keep your head down as Frigga orders her family around. You flinch as she grabs your wrist suddenly and pulls your hands apart.

“Right here, dear,” she guides you next to Odin before she stands at his other side. “Okay, everyone, no scowling.”

You look up, wide eyed and the camera flashes. You bat your lashes and put on a smile as Odin bends his arm behind you, resting his hand on your lower back. The gesture calms you as the photographer counts down.

You stand frozen as the camera shutters, wondering why you’re there. What will they do with the photos when you are irrelevant? Finally, you’re allowed to disperse as Frigga struts over to Yvonne to have a look at the photos.

You turn nearly collide with Mr. Laufeyson before you can even think to look for him. You back up as he stares at you. He raises a hand as if to touch your arm then thinks better of it. He clear his throat and tugs on his skinny tie.

“That is a beautiful dress,” he remarks, “very on theme.”

“Thank you, Mr. Laufeyson,” you sniff and rub your palms together.

“Stay close,” he says tersely, clearing his throat, “or…” you hear his tone soften, “I might lose you in the flowers.”

His lips curve, just a little. Is he joking? You’re not sure.

“Come,” he jabs his fingers through the air, “let us get a drink before it is too busy.”

“Yes, Mr. Laufeyson.”

You walk beside him and he sighs. No, you’re not sure he was being funny. He’s still unhappy.

As you reach the bar, he greets the workers in white behind it. He orders whiskey on ice, then turns to you. For a moment, you’re taken back to the night you found him with the same drink… that was the first, maybe the only time, you saw him so human.

“What would you like?” He asks.

“Um, I don’t… know,” you murmur.

“Our cocktails,” a worker points to the standing list of drinks. You lean in and read each. 

“Oh, uh, could I get the lavender lemonade, please?”

“Yes, miss,” the worker replies and sets to mixing the drink. Laufeyson takes his and holds it tight.

“Lokiiiii,” a familiar brogue rumbles through the air.

You turn to face Bragi as he approaches. A pocket watch swings from his vest, though he wears no shirt beneath it. You greet him with a tight-lipped smile.

“And his lady,” he smirks at you, “you haven’t seen Fossegrim, have you?”

“You brought that creature?”

“Ah, he tagged along. He chased off a chickadee and I’ve not seen him since. Never to worry,” he snaps his fingers, "I'm all set up.” He nods towards the stage, “and look at you too, pretty in white.” He looks at you pointedly, “I must say, you look like a goddess. I was also let in on a secret,” he declares, “it is your birthday. Happy birthday, did you have a favourite song? I might fit it into my set.”

“Um…” you think. “I don’t…” you look over as Mr. Laufeyson reaches back to take another glass from the bar and offers you the purple drink. You take it with a meek nod before facing Bragi again, “there was this song… from a movie… Breakfast at Tiffany’s. She sings it on the balcony but I can’t remember how it goes.”

“Oh, yes, I know the one. Beloved Hepburn, what a treat she was,” he purrs, “I think I can figure out the chords.”

“You don’t have to…” you shrug.

“I want to,” he insists, “oh and watch for dark shadows, Fossegrim will surely return once he smells food.”

“Sure,” you agree and squeeze the glass tight. Laufeyson just hums in his throat.

“Anyhow, I need water,” he sidles past you, “happy Walpurgisnacht!”

You return the sentiment before you step away. You peer around, uncertain what to do next. Your heels sink into the grass and you pull them out, teetering. Laufeyson glances over at you.

“Shall we sit?” He asks.

“Erm, okay.”

He waves you ahead of him and you weave over to one of the tables. You sit and put your glass down without tasting it. He sips his own as he lowers himself. He’s tense, setting it down with a heavy clunk.

You look around and see new faces arriving. It’s beginning. Your stomach churns as each guest appears. It really is a big deal.

“You are nervous,” Laufeyson intones, bringing you back to the table.

“A little.”

“Mm,” he pokes his tongue in his cheek, “well, then, even more reason to stay by my side. I’ve navigated these waters all my life, I can stave off the sharks.”

“Yes, Mr. Laufeyson.”

His lips slant and he spreads his hand over his chest before dragging it down, “and…” his throat bobs, “happy birthday, if I forgot to say.”

“Um, thank you,” you squeak, “it isn’t a very big deal.”

He inhales, “it isn’t? By your choice or… his?”

You shrug, “I never made it one. Really, just another year.”

“Certainly, time does keep on now matter what,” he mulls.

You’re quiet. You take the drink and look at it. It’s a lovely colour. You take a sip; it’s tangy but nice, a little kick under the citrus notes. Your cheeks pinch as you put it back down.

“Too strong?” he asks.

“No, it’s good,” you assure him, careful not to drip any on your dress.

He taps his fingers on the tabletop, “I must say, you do look rather… rather nice.”

“Oh, yes, um, Trina, your mother’s friend…” you utter, “she did it.”

You look at him, finding his eyes rapt upon you. His gaze almost takes your breath away. He reaches to touch your hand, leaning in just a little. His eyes flick past you suddenly and he stops, his hand lightly over your as he sits frozen.

You turn to peek over your shoulder. You hear Thor’s thundering voice as he greets someone. A perfect swoop of dark hair bounces before him and he embraces the tall, slender woman. You know, even without seeing her face, who it is. Sif.

You bring your other hand over Laufeyson’s and press it down firmly as you face him, “are you alright?”

His eyes skitter back to you and he slips his hand free. You deflate as he instead takes his glass and slurps with a scowl. Walpurgisnacht will not be a new beginning, only a reminder of old wounds.

[chubbydino]

I stumbled upon fool’s gold when I was looking up brocedes fic (yes in 2024 i know) and omg was I drawn you with your amazing writing. On my way to order your novel!

I wanted to know if you had any tips for new writers trying to plan their novel, keeping track of storylines and ways for improve their writing?

thank you! i really appreciate it.

my advice under the cut

for commercial novels, i'm definitely not the one to ask, as i'm still very much a newbie when it comes to self-publishing. i will say commercial fiction and fanfiction are completely different beasts. if you're a new writer, i would try fanfiction first to see where you stand, so to speak. commercial novels are very hard to sell without a fanbase unless you really know what you're doing, and even after publishing (almost) 3 books in a year, i still barely know what i'm doing.

fanfic lets you write what you want, and you can tell almost immediately if its resonating or not because the readers are already there. word gets around quick in fanfic spaces. if it doesn't do well, you have to figure out why. my older fics have terrible grammar and punctuation mistakes that would never fly in a real novel. sometimes i made up for it with a good enough story that people could ignore those things (Horsepower, for example lol) but it wasn't until i really started focusing on learning that it started coming together. i still have problems with commas and semicolons LOL. once you get that down and pair it with a good story, the magic happens!

i will say that finishing what you start is absolutely necessary. i used to get stuck at 30k words. now i can write that in 2 weeks or less. it's important as a writer that you deliver on your promises to finish what you start. for fanfic it's more okay to abandon something, but you will burn fans. i have 3 fics i'll never finish, 2 no one really read in the first place but 1 was on track to be my most popular fic ever and i just...didn't write anymore because of life. nowadays i'll shorten the story and finish it before abandoning it.

yes, fanfic is about having fun etc, but i take it seriously, especially when people are depending on me to create for them. while you don't make money on fanfic, you get what every business pays a shit ton of money to have: people engaged in your content/you. the readers here on tumblr, ao3, and in the discord server make writing fun for me. i'm very lucky that many of those people have also followed me into novel writing by joining my patreon and buying my books as well. if i only finished half of the books i started, i doubt those people would stick around, no matter how much they like my writing haha. i don't write for myself, i write to share stories with those fans.

as for planning, i'm also not really the person to ask haha. for fool's gold i just scribbled down sparknotes of race weekends and wove the plot into them. my best fics maybe had an ending in mind early on (HLS) or a premise i wanted to explore (for PAPM, a amnesia fic where the MC never gets his memories back but there's still a story). a lot of it is intuitive, but i'm still learning. for my professional writing i loosely go off the 3-Act breakdown and Save The Cat! but i only started doing that in the past year or so.

In fic writing, you're forced to work with what you've already written and make it work. In professional writing, you better be ready to hack it to pieces and rewrite the whole thing (Redline lol) to make it better, and people will still not like it. like, people are mad at me for how i ended Short Shift because they think I'm going to tropify it lol.

i see all my stories as movies in my head, so i rarely have to dig into my notes to see what actually happened because i "saw" it happen. idk how to explain it. for FG i wrote most of it without flipping back through. i do forget stuff, but for fanfic it's usually fine. for professional writing, i have beta readers checking that everything makes sense.

in short, just write. soooo many people i know want to write a book and then spend months planning, planning, planning, and never write it. my first attempt at a novel is 85k words and took over a year to write and will never see the light of day. meanwhile wheelspin is 106k words and i wrote it in 3ish months.

there are a lot of shitty books out there making careers for people. as long as you have a good story and a good editor (or knwo how ot edit yourself), you can do a lot and learn as you go. but just keep in mind that self-publishing is like 40% writing and 60% business. i spent 6 months taking free classes on self publishing before Redline debuted just to be able to do the basics. it's a steep learning curve, but worth it when you can hold your own book in your hands. :)

[yzeltia]

Year of the Drake: Breakfast at Tataru's

July: Coffee Shop AU Characters: U'rahn Nuhn, @driftward 's Nyx Blackmoon, and face claims by U'khuba Tia, @erickgage 's Erick Gage, and @saesama 's Kylnt Blackmoon Rating: T for NUHN Notes: CW Fade to Black Sex, Storytale based on the movie based on the book "Breakfast at Tiffany's" by Truman Capote Special Thanks: To @driftward for indulging U'rahn's love for Nyx and the wonderful additions at the climax of the story through to the ending. Thank you thank you thank you.

U'rahn sighed as he gazed up into the vast cloudless starlit sky of the Sagoli, relaxing the best he could in the springs. Coming home had seldom been for pleasure anymore. Everyone wanted to get down to business, or at least for him to. Yet it hadn't come to be yet, and the poor Nuhn did not have the courage to ask, and assumed it would happen all on its own. A Perfect moment just for them.

Ears folding, he dipped into the springs, just about to his nose so that he could breathe while he sulked until his cones flitted back up at the sound of water sloshing very delicately toward him. A familiar pair of mismatched eyes gazed down at him, studying as always.

"The huntresses requested that I come join you."

U'rahn shifted to sit cross legged in the shallow pool, "Yeah? Guess they finally got tired of gossiping about me then?"

"They were offering unsolicited instructions on how to win your affection. I told them that it was improbable that I had not already succeeded in that endeavor; however, they persisted to advise me otherwise."

"Sorry about them…they're…kind of a lot lately. Though that's my fault. I'm not doing my duty by them and they're getting understandably impatient. I made a deal with them, and I guess it's not happening at the speed they think it should. I guess, under all my bravado and herrro talk there are still some things that are hard to do."

"The huntresses of the Drake are wise enough to know what you are and are not capable of. They would not make a request that you would fail at."

U'rahn flushed and looked back up at the stars. "Yeah…maybe…But sometimes I dunno. I think I can hype myself to others when maybe I'm not the greatest but just kind of okay…"

The Nuhn felt Nyx's eyes on him, inspecting him as he'd grown accustomed to. He tried to relax a little more, letting his tail lax enough to float up to the water's surface.

"Rahn. Tell me a storytale."

"Huh?"

"Your emotional state improves when you are telling stories."

"Oh. I guess I do feel a little better when I do. Let me think…I suppose there's…."

"All of Ul'dah was still. Shopkeepers for the Ruby Road Exchange hadn't yet rose to set up their dappled stalls nor change over the displays in their windows for those fortunate to have real estate. None of this mattered to H'ollie Nuhn. He was content to lazily drift along the front of Tataru & Co.'s elaborate display, breakfast in hand and wearing last night clothes, marveling at the wide selection of jewels. 

He gave the tip of his ears little rub as he fancied himself in one of the diamond studs, letting his watch slide down a bit. Noting the time, he hurried away back toward his apartment. Having forgotten his key, he buzzed the landlord.

"Ollie! There you are! You ran off without a word!"

H'ollie jumped a bit as he turned, finding a well dressed Miqo'te woman at the end of his stoop. She brushed her braids from her face before following up the stoop. His button pressing became frantic.

"Ah. I'm sorry Miss A'mhitra. It was just getting late y'know. Early dragoon gets the wyrm and all that!"

"I just assumed I'd be getting more of your company tonight. I did spend and awful lot of money on you this evening didn't I."

"Most appreciated for sure! But the night has come and gone," buzzing the doorbell faster, yelping as the door gave out. He hurried up the stairs, followed by the other Miqo'te.

"I gave you 50 Gil for the arcade and you were just gone!"

"OI! OLLIE," boomed a voice from above.

"Really Miss A'mhitra, I must say good night!"

"H'OLLIE NUHN!"

"Ah. Hey hey Lady Gothyawn! I lost my key! Thanks for buzzing me in," the Miqo'te called up, looking toward the top of the stairs to find a cross looking Roegadyn woman staring at him.

"That was two swiven' weeks ago! Thal's Balls! Find your key or have another made," she yelled.

"Yes ma'am! I will try. I'll just end up losing it though" he let out with a gulp before moving to try and push into his apartment.

"Oh Ollie. You know I fancy you," A'mhitra continued following him.

"And I fancy you too, but I really need to sleep," he let out before closing the door  on her so that he could go sink into bed.

The morning hours came and went, the apartment quiet save for those coming and going for work. The sun high, a buzz sounded out, breaking up the stillness that had come with H'ollie's prompt slumber. The rancor made him stir then fumble toward his call box.

"...Hullo…," he yawned.

"Hello. I am a new resident," a monotone, but charming voice called through.

"Kay."

Without hesitation, H'ollie buzzed the stranger into the building, peeping out as the figure headed upstairs toward his apartment. A dashing miqo’te-looking person arrived at his door, staring pointedly at him as he leaned in the doorway in just boxers, t-shirt, and eye-mask set up upon his head. 

“I would like to borrow your tomestone,” the figure stranger requested.

“...o’kay,” H’ollie yawned, sidestepping to let the other in to his mess of an apartment.

The stranger looked around for a moment, “This is a small, yet, stimulating dwelling. Did you just move in yourself?”

“Mmm? No…about a year,” the Seeker responded, shuffling around to get into his fridge for a bottle of milk.

The stranger looked around for a moment then found the Nuhn’s tomestone sitting on top of his gym bag. As they reached, a small coeurl jumped down from a shelf onto their shoulder. Carefully, they moved the creature onto the floor.

“Apologies. I did not mean to disturb your pet.”

“He’ll be okay. Right Coeurl? Poor slob without a proper name. It wouldn’t be right for me to give him one, y;know. He’ll just have to wait until he belongs to somebody. He kinda just walked up to me one day when I was fishin’ in the creek after one of my salmon. He’s independent and so am I. I don’t want to own anything until I’m somewhere I feel I belong…Not sure where that is, but I know what it’d be like. It’s like..uh…Tataru’s.”

“Tataru’s? Tataru Taru’s Boutique?”

“Yeah yeah! I love that place. I go there when I’m kinda feeling out of sorts. Like when I feel somethin’ bad' is gonna happen but you don’t know what so you’re kinda afraid?”

“I am unsure of the feeling you are describing.”

“Huh…Well, when I do feel like that the only thing that does me any good is take a walk down to Tataru’s. I feel better right away. The splendour of it all. Nothin’ bad could happen to you there. Not with attendants in their nice clothes, the smell of silver, and those eft wallets…Oh hey hey. You wanted to use my tomestone didn’t you?”

“Correct. I was supposed to meet someone at ten bells. It is ten o’clock Thursday morning, is it not? I just arrived on a caravan traveling from Ala Mhigo,” they answered, starting to dial.

“Thursday! Oh heck,” the Nuhn yelped, rushing around suddenly to find his pants, “I’m terribly late. I hate Thursdays!”

The stranger let him rummage about while waiting for the line to be picked up, “Good Morning. Is I-Khuba there? He has? Understood. No message is required.”

Hanging up the tomestone, they looked up to find H’ollie spraying himself with cologne.

“Might I inquire as to why you hate Thursdays?”

“Well, nothin’ really. I just always forget what day it is when it rolls around. Usually I power through Wednesday cause when mornin’ rolls around I gotta be there during visitors’ hours.”

“Are you visiting someone in the hospital?”

“No no. The cellars.”

“The cellars?”

“Yeah. And I gotta look my best cause it’s the special kind of prisoners. For soft crimes, y’know. Money ones.”

“May I inquire who you might be visiting?”

H’ollie started to fuss with his hair in a mirror as his tail flipped about, “Well, I dunno if I should say, but they never told me it was a secret so if you can cross your heart and kiss your tail.”

The stranger stared at the Nuhn who simply looked back with a shrug, “Have you heard of Erick Popoto?”

“The gangster.”

“Not proven. Sure he messed up his income taxes a little, but those papers are really hard to figure out. He’s actually a really cool guy. I wouldn’t say he’s a friend though beforehand. I only met him when he got to prison, but he’s the coolest and I look up to him now. I’d probably go see him even if I didn’t get paid to.”

The stranger stiffened a bit, watching H’ollie struggle to tug his slacks up over his thighs, “He pays you?”

“Ah, well maybe not him. His lawyer, or researcher. I dunno, she’s smart and wears glasses. A few months ago she sent me a bird asking me to meet her for lunch and asked if I’d like to cheer up a lonely guy for a hundred gil a week. I told her she was mistaken and must have got the wrong Nuhn and the pay wasn’t much. I can get chocobo fair and 50 gil for the arcade from a nice girl that wants to hang on my arm for the evenin’.”

I guess he saw me at the Quicksand once though and I made an impression with my charm or standing up to some Flames. Said he saw a down right herrro in me and wanted to hear my tale.”

“I do not believe just anyone can visit the prison…”

“Nope. But I’m supposed to be a long lost nephew though. I’m a good half foot taller than most Seekers so they don’t question it too much. How do I look,” the Nuhn asked, giving a little pose.

“Adequate.”

“Thanks,” H’ollie answered, wandering toward his door to leave, his new friend in tow.

“You have provided me with enrichment during my wait. Should you need assistance in the future I shall be located upstairs.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Your transaction with Erick Popoto sounds unlawful. You should reevaluate before it causes you trouble.”

“Trouble? I only go to give him the weather,” H’ollie assured the stranger, stopping at his mailbox to spray himself down with more cologne.

“There are sufficient resources in the prisons for him to retrieve that information without a visitor. What manner of weather does this man wish to be informed about?”

“Well, strange ones to be sure. Snow in the Sagoli, drought in Limsa. Things like that. Don’t worry though, I can watch out for myself. I always have! Hey Hey! Chocobo here,” the Nuhn explained before calling out for a taxiing bird.

“Understood.”

As a carriage pulled up, a Miqo’te stepped out, carrying a lamp and wallpaper rolls under his arms.

“Nyaul. Apologies for my tardiness. Were you locked out? I meant to send a bird with a key,” the dark-haired Miqo’te asked, pushing up his glasses.

“Greeting I-Khuba. I got in by buzzing my new neighbor-”

“H’ollie “Golightly” Nuhn,” the other Seeker introduced, holding his hand out to the newcomer despite the occupied hands, “How do you do?”

“How do you do,” I’khuba answered, attention immediately flicking back to Nyaul, “You look well. I hope the trip was not too much for you.”

“It was adequate.”

“Were you able to get into the apartment?”

“No.”

“I see. I took the liberty of having the finest decorator in Eorzea come in and fix it up for you. I think you’ll find it to your liking. If not, I’ll call the Au Ra back and have him tear it all out and start over,” I’khuba continued, starting up the steps of the building.

“Ah, well. See you around,” H’ollie called out before taking over the carriage for himself.”

I’khuba let himself in then led Nyual upstairs to tier apartment, fully decorated in late allagan decor to suit the tastes of its occupant. Immediately he sat down the paper and lamp before looking back as his companion brought in their luggage.

“I’ll help,” the man said, going to retrieve a bag, struggling with it far more than Nyaul had done.

Once on the bed, I’khuba busied himself unpacking the other, moving back and forth into the closet while Nyaul got themselves comfortable.

“You do not need to redistribute my belongings.”

“I enjoy taking care of you. I’ve already hung some dresses delivered for you. Did you see your desk?”

Nyaul turned then found an ornate quill sticking out of a well and parchment sitting in a Hingashi-patterned box. I’khuba moved to it, tracing his fingers over a page, “Fresh linen paper and the finest bamboo box from across the sea. They say B’asho Nuhn used the same box to pen his haiku.”

“This excessive opulence will be adequate to continue my writing.”

“Have I displeased you? Is this too much?”

“You have not.”

“Good. I’ll expect your manuscript soon then. I’ve invested a lot in your talents, and I believe you can bring in a large return rather than having you scrape by elsewhere unable to pursue your passions. I shall keep you enriched.”

Nyaul studied the man as he looked out the window, “What will be your return?”

“Satisfaction. Pride.”

“Is that all?”

“Perrrhaps not,” he answered, moving into steal a kiss.

“Rahn, your tail,” Nyx interrupted.

U’rahn blinked then looked back, finding himself angrily thrashing his tail about in the springs. “Ah, sorry. Just don’t like the idea of…Well, er…Nevermind. He’s just not my favorite character. Anyroad…”

Music blared from H’ollie’s room as his landlord screamed obscenities from above between the crashing of his things. From his bathroom, he locked the door then quickly scrambled through a window just in a pair of slacks while a huntress mewled at him from beyond the door. Looking upward, he scaled the fire escape, finding himself watching as I’khuba retired his tie then made his exit from Nyaul’s bedroom. Swallowing, he waited a moment then gave a little rap on the window seal before flopping into the floor.

“Intruder,” Nyaul said, sitting upright in their bed and fixing their eyes on H’ollie as they bunched up their sheets against their chest. 

“Ah! It’s me! H’ollie! We met this morning. If you’re worried about your friend, he just left. I wouldn’t normally just come in like this, but I did knock and I’ve got this huntress downstairs that’s being pretty insistent we…y’know…But I’m not really ready for that sort of thing. I’m sure she’ll give up though in a minute and I can head back down.”

“It is customary to get to know one’s neighbours and you are distressed. You may remain. How was your visit to the prison?”

“Went off without a hitch,” H’ollie sang, ears fluttering.

“What was the weather?”

“Gales over The Black Shroud or somethin,” he yawned, moving to sit on the edge of his host’s bed, “You’re really sweet and all. You remind me of someone from my tribe, Nangho. May I call you Nangho?”

“Sure.”

“When we were young and the weather turned, the huntresses would round us all up and have us camp out together on the floor of the sturdiest house. Nangho would be the only one who’d cuddle up with me. I was always kinda tall so I used a lot of blanket. She didn’t mind though,” he continued, tilting his head at a pouch of gil on the bedside table.

“That’s a big pouch. Your friend is really generous.”

“Please remove yourself from my bed,” Nyaul warned.

“Hey hey! I didn’t mean to offend,” he started before taking note of the other huddled in just their blankets, “Oh-oh! I-I didn’t realize. I-I’m sorry.”

He swallowed then went to move, only to have his tail seized by Nyaul.

“You may stay. Your words did not imply what I thought. Would you care for a drink,” they asked, moving to get up.

“I-I can get it. You stay” H’ollie offered,  bright red and standing to move over to the drink cart to pour them two glasses of a sweet smelling amaretto before returning.

“I guess I seem pretty brazen. I don’t mean to be. It’s the Nuhn in me.”

“You are indeed brazen.”

“Well, everyone says so too. I don’t mind it too much though. It’s kinda useful sometimes. Say, what do you do?”

“I write.”

“You do?”

“Yes.”

“Huh. I kinda pictured a writer as someone much older. Grey hair and all that. Have you been published?”

Nyaul motioned toward the desk. H’ollie reached out to grab the book then flipped it about in his hand. “ ‘Nine Poems’ by Nyaul Whitesun. Poems?”

“Nine of them,”

“Tell me one.”

“They’re not the kind of poems to tell.”

“Oh. Are they those dirty ones?”

“No. Angry. Sensitive. Intense. Promising.”

“Promising?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll have to try and read it then.”

Silence crept up between them as H’ollie laid back next to Nyaul, arms going behind his head as he cracked the book and squinted at the poems inside.

“I have an inquiry as well. You said before your huntresses give you 50 gil for the arcade?”

“Yeah!”

“You must be well off.”

“Nah. I’m terrible at saving…Gosh, you remind me so much of Nangho,” he started, looking to the other.

“I haven’t seen her for a long time. She went off to fight in the resistance as a mercenary when she came to the age of majority. She was a great hunter. I’m gonna make a lot of money though so she can come back home and not have to be in the war. Gosh…is that the time?”

H’ollie yawned then stretched his arms, settling down in the bed, Nyaul slipping against his chest from the gravity of it all.

“Is it okay if I rest my eyes for a minute,” he asked, “We’re friends now after all. Just good friends. You should just go ahead and call me Ollie.”

“Acknowledged.”

He dozed for a moment, but H’ollie was quick to start stirring, muttering Nangho’s name in his sleep. A tear escaped the corner of his eye, catching Nyaul’s attention. Reaching up, they brushed it from his cheek.

“Why are you crying?”

H’ollie jerked up as he was touched, ears folded back. He broke from the other, moving toward the window, shaking and looking cross. “I-If we’re gonna be pals, you shouldn’t snoop!”

With that, he let himself out onto the firescape, then hurried down to his apartment below, leaving Nyaul to finally rest in peace. 

A few days passed as Nyaul settled in. H'ollie had made himself scarce. Just as they started to think the Nuhn was finished with them, a letter came: an invitation for drinks and an apology for running off so abruptly the other morning. Drinks though, seemed to entail half of Ul'dah sandwiched into the tiny messy apartment.

The party raged, and Nyaul kept to the wall, enriched by the wild drunken menagerie of everyone from members of the sultanate to seedy peddlers that they'd seen making deals in the alleyways of the Ruby Road. And then there was H'ollie. Handsome and charming whose words people hung on despite not really saying much of anything at all. For Nyaul, it was his constant change in expression that kept their focus. He was more emotive than most. Nyaul liked that. 

H’ollie eventually spotting Nyaul made himself available to them, cuddling up close as people danced wildly, “Nangho! Are you enjoying yourself?”

“I am being enriched; however, I am uncertain as to why so many people are here.”

“I dunno. I kinda sent out invitations everywhere on a whim! How else would a Nuhn meet a bunch of new people?”

“Understood.”

“Yeah. Don’t leave though. I’d love to talk more. And- Ah! Thyka! Is that you!? Get over here you scamp!”

H’ollie moved from Nyaul, heading toward another Seeker as he entered, putting the other under his arm to ruffle his hair.

Nyaul resumed sticking to the wall, occasionally picking up a passing drink to sample while watching H’ollie wander about. Soon, a man approached them, golden hair and sunglasses. 

“So you’re the writer, eh Nangho?”

“Apparently.”

H’ollie passing smiled then wrapped an arm around Nangho’s waist, “Apparently? They’ve written nine of the most marvelous haiku. They’re published and everything!”

“Thank you, Ollie,” Nyaul said, scruffing Coeurl and putting him on the bookshelf before he could be stepped on. “Right then, so you are a writer. I must check out your book sometime. Who does your books?”

“This is Ricky Popoto. The guy I told you about,” H’ollie whispered before perking up, “He takes care of all my finances. I’m just no good with saving like I told you.”

“I can keep my own ledgers. Thank you,” Nyaul declined.

“Yeah Yeah. They’ve got a fancy writing desk upstairs and everything. Writing, Math. Nangho can do it all,” H’ollie boosted proudly.

“Ah. Well, a shame. If you ever want to make some investments though, I’ve got the eye for it. And have someone send me your book. Maybe some literature will awaken something in me,” he chuckled before being pulled away.

“Ah! Mr. Popoto! What’s the weather!?”

“Snow flurries in the Sagoli kid!”

“Right. How strange though. I bet there’s not been snow down there since the last calamity. Still, all that swagger. Don’t you think he’s cool?”

“He is a mobster. Some people would define that as being cool.”

“Yeah. If you and I ever get married, promise me you’ll let him give the groom away. Oh, ah, here! I got you this enchanted ink, for your writing,” he started, fishing out the vial from his pocket and handing it to the writer. 

Nyaul ignored the statement but gratefully accepted the gift before watching the blond man take his leave, “Ricky Popoto was sentenced to twenty-years to life.”

“Yeah, well. I don’t imagine we’ll be getting married before then, do you?”

“No. Our net worth would not be conducive to a union.”

H’ollie sighed. “That’s right. We’re both kinda reaching for the sky. I guess, it’s nice we can go a bit of the way together though, right,” he asked, cheeks a little red as he swayed his tail close to theirs without quite touching

“Two parallel lines that never meet.”

‘Yeah,” H’ollie agreed, “That’s exactly what we are.”

Nyaul looked to the Nuhn then quietly tangled their tail with his as he continued, “I’ve never been a parallel line before…except maybe with Nangho.”

H’ollie offered a smile then jumped as his door slammed open, Lady Gothyawn entering with a spear. “ENOUGH WITH THE NOISE. EVERYONE OUT OR YOU’LL BE SKEWERED AND TOSSED SO DEEP IN THE SWIVEN’ DUNGEONS ARCHAEOLOGISTS WON’T FIND YOUR SWIVEN’ BONES ‘TIL THE NEXT CALAMITY!”

Everyone panicked and then fled the apartment building, leaving H’ollie to get scolded by the landlady and Nyaul to return to their apartment upstairs. A few more days passed. Nyaul had engrossed themselves in their writing, churning out pages of haiku, some making it into their draft box, others into the bin beside them. As they finished their final poem, a voice wafted in through the window. 

Following, Nyaul looked out, smiling with their eyes as they looked down to spot H’ollie resting against his window ledge in just his boxershorts, towel around his neck and guitar in his arms. 

“That was pleasing,” Nyaul called out.

“Thank you,” H’ollie called out.

Nyaul went to say more, interrupted  as a knock sounded at their door. Shutting their window, they went to the door then found I’khuba looking rather cross. He stormed in, going to the window then looking out through the blinds.

“Are you well,” he asked.

“Yes. There is something troubling you.”

“It might be nothing. I just want to see if he’s still there.”

“Who?”

“A man. An older Seeker.  I saw him on the street yesterday afternoon but didn’t think too much of it; however, he was out there again watching up here.”

“Are they pursuing you?”

“I’m unsure. I don’t think my huntresses have found out about you.”

“I will eliminate the target.”

“Nyaul, you don’t have to-,” I’khuba started, but the writer was gone. 

Out on the street, Nyaul saw the older Miqo’te in question then began to pursue him, winding around the streets. The watcher seemed to stay in mostly populated areas, eventually stopping at the Quicksand, grabbing himself a drink. Eyes narrowed, Nyaul decided to be diplomatic and sit with him.

“What are your intentions with I-Khuba?”

“Parrrdon miss?”

“You have been following my benefactor. Cease or you will be stopped by force.”

“I don’t know an I’khuba. I’m just lookin’ for a frrriend.”

The man reached into his pocket then laid out an old piece of parchment, pointing to a sketch of himself, H’ollie, and an older female Seeker.

“That’s me. That’s him. And that’s his first betrothed, L’nangho.”

Nyaul picked up the picture, studying it for a moment before setting it back down.

“You’re…Ollie’s father?”

“Ollie? Is that what he’s callin’ himself? His name is L’rahn Tia, supposed to be Nuhn. He needs to be back home. His gal L’nangho will be returnin’ and then it’ll be time for him to start makin’ more children for the trrribe and take care of the ones that he’s already supposed to be watchin’ over.”

Nyaul sat silently, studying the man for a long time.

“I mean to say that I’m gettin’ on in yearrrs. He’s not had his first sirin’ yet. Waiting for that someone special or whatever he’s got in his head. He’s an exceptional herrro you see. Knew his own mind and went off to make a name for himself so that way he could fall in love and go at it the proper way. Brrroke our hearts when he left us.”

“What about L-nangho?”

“Got taken up with some mercs to help the resistance in Ala Mhigo. Contract will be done in a couple of months and then she’ll be on her way back home. They need to get together and do what needs to be done for the tribe. I figured you could take me to see him being neighbors and all. I’ve seen him talkin’ to you on the street and all.”

“Understood.”

Getting up, Nyaul escorted the man back to the apartments then upstairs, giving H’ollie’s door a small knock only to have the door open instantly, the Nuhn dressed in his finest.

“Hey hey! I was just on my way out. I should have been in the town by now. We can have drinks tomorrow night, okay?”

“Understood, L’rhan.”

H’ollie stumbled back then clutched his arm. “Did…Did she tell you that? Nangho!? Nangho,” he called out, looking out excitedly only to freeze as he saw his father.

“Oh. L’odh,” he started before giving his dad a hug.

“C’mon son. We need to talk.”

Nyaul watched a moment before the two went into the apartment before wandering back upstairs where I’khuba waited, swirling a glass of whiskey.

“Did you take care of him?”

“No. He was not a target. The father of my neighbor.”

“That took you an hour?”

“Yes.”

“Right then,” I’khuba sighed before setting his drink down to stand and embrace the writer.

The night passed. I’khuba left them as usual, returning to read through their drafts to make sure the diction was just right. By morning, a rainstorm had started to wash through, pelting their window rhythmically, so much so they almost missed the knocking at their door.

Answering, they found H’ollie standing in their raincoat, hair matted  around his face.

“Hey…hey,” he started, cheerfulness gone from his voice, “Good, I thought you might have gone out.”

“What is your inquiry? Are you unwell?”

“No no. I’m not. Just, Nangho, will you help me?”

“If I am able.”

“Good. I want you to follow me to the stables…to see off my pops.”

“Understood,” the writer answered, putting on a raincoat and following the other out the door.

As they exited, H’ollie opened his umbrella and sighed, “I know it’s early, but he thinks I’m going back with him. I need support. I don’t think I can say no by myself.”

“This is none of my business,” Nyaul answerd, though they continued to follow.

“You don’t need to say anything. I just…want you there.”

“Understood.”

The two soon arrived at the stables, L’odh saddling up two ‘bos for their departure.

“Ah. Your frrriend is seein’ you off. That’s nice.”

“Please, pops. I’m not goin’ with you.”

“Now Rahn.”

“Please understand. I know you love me and want me to do what you want. But I’m just kind of a wild thing right now. I gotta make sure whoever is my first sire is the one I want to be with forever. You had that with mom. I want that too. I gotta become a herrro and find the one right for me.”

“Now son, yourrr place is with us!”

“I can’t come back.”

L’odh watched the other for a time then sighed and shook his head, looking to Nyaul

“You keep an eye on him. I’ll..I’ll write to L’nangho and tell her how you’re fairrrin’ and where to find you.”

With that, the Nuhn hopped up on chocobo then started to trot off, looking back only once before setting off full speed.

“Y’know Nangho…the terrible thing. I am still L’Rahn…deep down. Just his boy saying he’s gonna be a herrro and marry a princess.”

With that they made their way back to their apartment and parted. Their visits became more frequent, H’ollie popping up now and then with some spirits on their fire escape to give Nyaul a break from writing now and then. Months went by, their friendship grew, and the writer managed to get their manuscript out until receiving notice their work had been properly published. 

With the news, Nyaul took the ornate box of poetry down to H’ollie’s apartment, letting themselves in and finding him on the ground doing push ups. Carefully, they set the box aside then pushed the letter under his nose.

“Wow Wow! You did it Nangho,” he panted, rolling over onto his back with a loud plop, “Congrats!”

“Yes. I thought I should bring you the manuscript. You served as inspiration.”

“Me? Wow. I’m uh, honored. Though, what does your decorator friend think about that?”

“I have not mentioned the subject matter to him.”

“Huh. Well. I think I’ve got a bottle of champagne in the ice box.”

“I’ve not had champagne for breakfast before.”

“Really? Never? Well! It’ll be a first,” he started before lighting up, ears perking, “I have an idea! To celebrate your publication, we’ll spend the whole day doing things we’ve never done before! I mean, I can’t really think of anything I’ve never done but I’m sure we can find something!”

After sharing a glass of champagne, the two set off into the morning, stopping by a coffee stall for a proper breakfast to carry along with them. Together, they found themselves in front of Tataru’s, H’ollie’s eyes wide upon the brass door.

“Don’t you love it,” H’ollie asked, tail flipping about.

“Love what?”

“Tataru’s. I do. And not just the neat jewellery,” he said, “though the silver necklaces are cool.”

Nyaul nodded then moved H’ollie so he stood before a window, making his reflection look like he had one of the display pieces on, “What do you think?”

“Hmm, a bit too tacky this one. Maybe something less…throat covery?”

“I have never been inside,” Nyaul commented, “Why don’t we go inside? I will buy you something.”

H’ollie lit up, entering behind the other into the ornate halls of the textile giant’s store. “A present? Really?”

“Yes. You bought me that enchanted ink some time ago. I used it to pen my drafts.”

“Well, alright. It’s pretty expensive though.”

“I’ve got my commission check and…10 gil.”

“No no! You can’t cash your check.”

“Understood.”

“Still, I dunno what we’ll find here for 10 gil.”

He offered his arm to Nyaul, smiling before walking them through the beautiful displays. “Don’t you love it here? Nothing bad could happen in a place like this…unless you cross the proprietress.”

Nyaul looked around for danger, then nodded, sensing no immediate threats. Finding a young woman in a brown poncho attending some jewellery, they wandered over to meet with her.

“May I help you?”

“Yes. I was looking for a present for this herrro,” Nyaul answered.

H’ollie grinned widly as the sales woman gave him a smile.

“Certainly. Did you have something special in mind?”

“Yes. Silver. For less than ten gil. Nothing tacky.”

“My. We are to the point it seems. With that price point, that limits our selection for you to more or less novelty items. Perhaps this silver tomestone stylus,” the woman offered, pulling out a small silver pen, “Seven gil.”

“The price is correct; however, I was looking for something sentimental. What do you think Ollie?”

“Ah, I never can find my tomestone. I’d probably lose that too.”

Nyaul shook their head then pushed the pen back toward the saleswoman. “It seems we might be unable to make a purchase,” they started before noticing a small sign on the desk, “Do you offer engraving services as it says?”

“Yes, though, you’d need something to engrave.”

Nyaul nodded, then slipped a silver cuff from her wrist, “This was not purchased at Tataru’s. Could you engrave this and have it fitted for his wrist?”

“That wouldn’t be beneath you would it,” H’ollie asked, worried, “We didn’t even buy it here.” “Not at all. Here at Tataru’s we are very understanding. If you would provide your initials, we can have it ready for you by the morning.”

“See Nangho, this place is the best,” H’ollie purred, ears fluttering.

Nyaul nodded, then handed over the silver bangle and the ten gil.

A receipt issued, the two sauntered out happily then wandered through the streets together talking happily until they circled the city once before the Nuhn’s feet started to get tired. Nyaul wishing to remedy the issue, pulled them into the library and into the reference room so they could sit down for a moment until he was ready to get back up on his feet.

“Huh…what’s with all the drawers? Are the books in them? They must be small.”

“Each of the drawers are filled with cards that have a book or author.”

“Cool cool,” the Nuhn hummed, fingers trailing over some of the letters until finding a W.

Eagerly, H’ollie started to go through the drawer until pulling out one and holding it up, “Whitesun, Nyaul. “Nine Poems”! Does this mean they have it?”

Nyaul stood then took the card before leading H’ollie to the front desk and handing it over to a librarian at the front desk.

“That’s ‘Nine Poems’ by Nyaul Whitesun! Do you have it,” H’ollie asked eagerly.

The librarian hushed him before turning and wandering away for a moment, returning later with the small book of poetry.

“Did you ever read it,” he asked the stranger.

“No.”

“Well you should. They wrote it,” he said, gesturing to Nyaul.

The librarian looked on unimpressed, making H’ollie scowl.

“She doesn’t believe me. Show her your adventurer plate! Honest. They are really the author!”

“Would you lower your voice,” the woman demanded.

“You should autograph it for them. It’ll make it unique and valuable,” H’ollie hummed, reaching over to grab a quill and ink.

“Sir! I insist-”

“What should I write,” Nyaul asked, taking the quill.

“Somethin’ sentimental?”

“What are you doing!? Stop it! You’re defacing public property,” the librarian shrieked, Nyaul scribbling ‘Somethin’ sentimental. N.W’ in the book before shutting it and letting H’ollie push it back to the librarian.

“If that’s the way you feel then we’ll get out of here. This place isn’t half as welcoming as Tataru’s!”

With that the two ran off together, back out into the street before wandering toward their home. As they moved along, H’ollie’s tail swished alongside of Nyaul’s, never quite touching until he suddenly flicked it upward and paused.

“You know. I can think of another thing we’ve never done…,” he started, face a bit red.

Nyaul turned then found themself in the Nuhn’s arms. Eyes closing, H’ollie leaned in then kissed the writer softly, before kissing them again, and again until lost in each other’s embrace.

The next morning, Nyaul woke up alone. They quickly sat upright then looked around before getting up to dress and head down to wake up H’ollie, to find that they were not there. As they wandered room to room, a small meow broke out and alerted them to a small stalker that had followed them around.

“Good morning Coeurl. Is the master of the house home?”

Coeurl meowed, rubbing between Nyaul’s legs.

“Understood. I shall provide you with some food,” the writer answered, going to the kitchen to lay out a small plate of fish from the fridge, “When our herrro returns, please tell him that I came by.”

Leaving the pet to snack, Nyaul exited the apartment then noticed I’khuba letting themselves into the foyer below. Retreating into H’ollie’s apartment, they made evasive manoeuvres out the window then upstairs to their apartment to greet the other as he entered the room.

“I was ringing for you.”

“Apologies. I was not expecting you,” Nyaul greeted with a small bow.

“It doesn’t matter. You’re quirky. I love that about you,” I’khuba answered moving in to kiss Nyaul.

The writer rebuffed him, shaking their head. “We need to talk.”

The Tia recoiled, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, “All right, if this is going to be a serious conversation we should sit.”

The man moved toward the other’s desk, taking a seat then crossing his leg, staring the other down as he glowered.

“I can’t say I hadn’t expected this conversation to happen. Well, who is he?”

“He has nothing to do with it. This is between you and me.”

“Then it is far more serious than I expected.”

“You are a respectable man. I wish to end this respectably.”

“End it,” I’khuba asked, “And here I didn’t think you were capable of falling in love. It’s completely out of character. Did you find yourself a mercenary? A flame? No, you’d want someone more interesting than that. Someone with money to indulge your flavour of the month then?”

“No. He is a dreamer who does his best. Someone I enjoy helping.”

“Alright. Well, I’ll tell you what. I am a very respectable man,” he huffed, pulling out his wallet to pull out some bills noting the stare from the writer, “Don’t study me. You’ve seen me shell out gil plenty of times. You’re entitled to a vacation after a year or so with me. A thousand gil. Take it.”

“No,” Nyaul answered, “I have no need of your money. I shall remove myself at your convenience. When you find yourself a new writer, find one in my size. You won’t have to let the dresses out.”

With that, the writer abandoned their patron and exited the building, wandering the street for the moment before heading to Tataru’s to pick up the bangle, ensuring the H’O N  was inscribed correctly on it before returning the apartments to find H’ollie curled up in a chair with a stack of books about the Sagoli around him.

H’ollie looked up, eyes bright before lowering them soberly and returning his attention to the page, “What do you want?”

“I want to talk to you.”

“I’m busy…”

“What are you doing?”

“Reading.”

Nyaul stood still, simply observing H’ollie read until he looked back up next, “I wish to take you out of here. I want to talk to you.”

“You gotta go…and leave me alone.”

“No. I am in love with you,” Nyaul stated plainly.

H’ollie’s ears perked slightly, but were not allowed to flit all the way up before moving to get his things and try to leave.

“Where are you going?”

“To the arcade.”

Nyaul turned, taking the other by the end of the tufts of his tail, standing still as the Nuhn tried walking away in place.

“Please…you gotta let me go Nangho…”

“I am not Nangho. I have never been Nangho. I am Nyaul Whitesun and I love you.”

“You have to…”

“I wish to settle this. Let’s start at the beginning. Why are you reading about Old Sharlayan?”

“I’m…I’m gonna go to my sire and take my place as the Nuhn of my tribe. I thought I should learn more about the hunting grounds.”

“Unacceptable.”

“You gotta let me go…”

“I will not let you abandon your dream.”

“What? Because yesterday you think you…you own me or something?”

“Yes. I am responsible for you.”

“That’s what everyone thinks…but everyone is wrong…,” H’ollie huffed, not meeting her gaze.

“I am not everyone. I am not to be conflated with your huntresses.”

H’ollie folded his ears then shook his head.

“I see. Understood. If that is your assessment then you are in need of this,” Nyaul said, placing 50 gil in the other’s head, “For the arcade.”

With that, the writer left the room, leaving H’ollie to stand in silence. Nyaul didn’t hear from the other for a week, nor cared to go in search anymore. They took their time packing their things, separating their own things from what I’khuba had provided. As they finished, a rancorous occurred below, but for once, they had no intention of intervening, that is until there was a rap at the door.

Answering it, Nyaul found a small huntress nervously looking back down toward the apartment below. “Please. You are Nyaul, correct?”

“Correct.”

“Please, I need your help. H’ollie…he’s…” they started before flinching as the sound of glass shattering echoed through the hall.

“Are you injured?”

“No, but I’m scared for Ollie,” the woman answered.

Nyaul nodded then hurried downstairs, finding H’ollie wailing and surrounded by broken glass. Carefully, the other walked through the room and pulled him into her embrace. “You must go to your bed.”

“O-Okay…” he sniffled before being lifted easily and moved to the bedroom.

Nyaul tucked him in, helping him out of his day clothes before wrapping him in his blanket. Returning to the living room, they found the huntress sweeping some of the glass.

“What happened,” the writer asked directly.

“A bird came and he lost it. He started to cry then destroyed everything in sight. Let’s see…here. This is the letter,” the young woman explained, bending down to pick up the paper and hand it over.

Nyaul looked down at the writing, examining the broken Ala Mhigan seal then the contents which they read aloud,  “To whom it may concern. L’nangho Behn lost her life in a reconnaissance mission against the Garlean nation. We have buried her with honours and will send personal belongings to the address provided at the penning of her contract. The nation of Ala Mhigo is forever indebted to you and yours for the sacrifice made to restore our home.”

“Oh no! Nangho,” the young woman gasped, covering her mouth then sitting.

“He loved her…very much,” Nyaul stated, handing back the letter.

“Yes, the best of friends. Thick as thieves. I thought he might have fancied her, but he was always very respectful, unlike other Tia.”

“Understood. I will not be a sufficient source of comfort for this situation. There is an arcade near your territory? Correct?”

“The Golden Saucer itself,” the woman assured them.

“Good. That will enrich him. I-”

As Nyaul went to wish them well, the front door flew off the hinges behind them.

“IN THERE OFFICERS. HE SHOULD BE IN THERE,” the landlady bellowed, pointing her spear toward the bedroom door as Flames followed in behind her.

“What is going on,” Nyaul asked calmly, looking to the one who looked most in charge.

“Ask your boss.”

“I have no boss.”

“Ricky Popoto.”

Thrown in to some clothes, H’ollie was carried out, struggling in confusion as he looked back to Nyaul in distress. “F-Feed Coeurl,” he managed to get out before being properly apprehended.

The writer followed the troop as they hauled the Miqo’te off, leaving Coeurl with H’ollie’s visitor. Arriving at the Immortal Flames’s headquarters, Nyaul waited for them to finish interrogating the Nuhn, warily watching as reporters started to file in. After a few hours, the Flames eventually let H’ollie free, the Miqo’te looking rather bewildered.

“I-I don’t understand what everyone wants from me?”

“Why did you visit Popoto,” a reporter called out.

“I just gave Big Bro Ricky the weather report. I dunno anything about paintings or sculptures or other acquisitions. He’s just a really cool guy that I liked to hang out with!” Nyual quickly interjected, getting in the lawyer’s way, “Please stop talking Ollie. Let the lawyer take care of that.”

“Lawyer? I need one of those? I told them I didn’t.”

Nyaul stared blankly, causing H’ollie to swallow, picking up on the annoyance from the neutral expression. Together they left and hurried back to his apartment. “Please, do not talk to the press. Miss, take care of him.”

With that, the writer departed, leaving to go settle themself in at their new place. Days passed, the papers going wild about the Ricky Popoto story. H’ollie seemed to do as they were told, staying out of the limelight for once. As things started to calm down, Nyaul thought it a good time to check on the other, catching the young woman they’d met before leaving with a suitcase as they walked up to the apartment.

“Hello Miss. Are you and Ollie leaving?”

“No. Just me. After all this, we think it’s best for him to stay away for a time. Just until things settle down for him.”

“Unacceptable.”

“Pardon?”

“Ollie gave up on his dream to return to do his duty. His naivety got him into trouble, yes; however, that is not an acceptable reason to turn your backs on him.”

“I’m sorry. It’s just what the huntresses decided. Could you help him get settled in at his new place though? I think he’ll need a friendly face.”

With that, the young woman left Nyual to go inside and upstairs to check on H’ollie, finding him humming away as he packed up his things. Hearing the writer’s approach, he perked his ears then turned with his usual smile.

“Nyaul! It’s good to see you.”

“I find it pleasant to see you too…And you as well Coeurl,” the writer answered, lowering to pick up the small beastkin and hold it while it squirmed, “I shall escort you to your new residence.”

“Coeurl! There you are,” H’ollie breathed out, slinging his pack over his shoulder before taking the pet from them, “Poor no-named slob. Anyroad, did you see an airship pass?”

Nyaul looked around then found it on the counter, waving it at him, “We can exchange it for the cancellation cost. Or sell it at the Quicksand.”

“Sell it? Are you kidding? What time is it?”

“Ten bells.”

“Good, let’s get downstairs and call over a carriage.”

“You cannot do that…”

“Why not?”

“You will be violating your bail. You will be apprehended at the gate and imprisoned with your friend.,” they answered, getting into the carriage behind H’ollie as he gave directions.

“That’s silly. I didn’t do anything. And come tomorrow, I’ll be the proper Nuhn of my tribe.”

“You will not.”

“Why’s that?”

“Your friend said they told you to stay away.”

“Nonsense. I'm the Nuhn! I have a duty to fulfil.”

Nyaul stared quietly.

“What? I’m not actually wanted or anything. They just want me to say what I know about Ricky on the stand, no one wants to put me in jail. And the huntresses have been clawing at me since I became the age of majority and made a name for myself in hunting circles. Anyway, this town’s finished for me so I should get out anyway. I can go camp somewhere in the sands until they call for me or something.”

Nyaul listened, then finally spoke. “Ollie. I am in love with you.”

“So what?”

“So plenty. I love you. You belong to me.”

“People don’t belong to people. You just wanna put me in a cage or somethin’, just like Coeurl here. Both of us are just no-named slobs who don’t belong to anyone. Driver! Stop here.”

“Why are we stopping,” Nyaul asked, watching H’ollie open the door to let Coeurl out.

“It’s a nice little alley for him. He’s a tough guy. Plenty of cans and rats and coeurl friends for him out there. Go on, scram!”

Coeurl blinked then looked up at his former friend.

“I said beat it,” he huffed, getting out of the carriage to scare him off.

Nyaul exited the vehicle, watching Coeurl scamper away down the alley. H’ollie huffed then moved to get back into his seat.

“Are you coming?”

“No.”

“All right then, you can take off too,” he huffed.

Nyaul seized the door, not letting it close as H’ollie went to slam it.

“You know what your problem is, Ollie. You keep calling yourself a Nuhn, and a herrro. But you are a chicken, you’ve got - you’ve got no guts. Uhm.. You’re afraid to. Afraid to…”

“Rahn,” said Nyx.

U’rahn had gotten excited, his tail thrashing once more, starting to slip over his own words. He stopped, looking over at the other.

“The heroine has become rather more impassioned than you have portrayed her thus far, and you are agitated. Your storytales are often a mix of stories you know, but also the people that you know. Nyaul is clearly meant to be similar to myself.”

“What? Nah, nah, it’s just a storytale! The names are just coincidences! And I’m fine.” protested U’rahn, fidgeting.

“If that is true, I will believe you,” said Nyx.

U’rahn fidgeted some more. “I really am fine. And maybe I’m bad with makin’ up names,” he said.

“Indeed. I know you have asked me not to interrupt your storytales, but I feel in this case, I can perhaps assist. If you will allow me.”

“Wh-what? I, uhm, I don’t know about that…”

Nyx reached up, and gently touched a hand to the base of one of his cones, their hand somehow cool and calming.

“Your words have reminded me of something similar that was said to me once. I believe I can provide a sample from that experience that may help you preserve your message as well as enhance your characterisation thus far.”

“W-well… alright.”

Nyx nodded, and her voice began to take on subtle inflections that they normally did not exhibit as they spoke.

“Do you know what your problem is? I’m going to tell you. In a way that you’ll understand, so make sure you’re listening. You act like a person. But you are an empty thing. No drive. No guts. You avoid doing anything you cannot predict the outcome of. Too bad. So come at me, empty doll. I will show you the future you don’t exist in.”

“Hey what where’d that come from?”

“It is something someone once said to me. It is closer to how I might express the sentiments you are struggling with in this passage now. However, if I told the story, I would diverge. Then it would not be your storytale. It would be mine. You are good at adaptation, however.”

“Whoa whoa whoa,” said U’rahn, starting to get up. “Someone said that to you? I’ll - I’ll kick their tail, that’s what I’ll do!”

“That is unnecessary. I shall find her myself one day.”

Rahn stood in the water, the light of the stars flickering around him in the waves of his agitation. After a moment, he sat back down again, causing more ripples to flow away from him.

“I - I don’t always know how you feel or think, but this time… this time I think I know what you’re tryin’ to say.”

“Are you comfortable continuing your story?”

“...yeah. Yeah. Let me just - let me just get back into it. I think - I think I’m goin’ to say it how I wanted to though.”

“As you see best. Proceed.”

Rahn took a deep breath, and picked up the tale again.

“You know what your problem is, Ollie. You keep calling yourself a Nuhn, and a herrro. But you are a chicken, you’ve got no guts. You are afraid to stick out your tail and say “Life is a fact. People do fall in love, people do belong to each other because that’s the only chance anybody has for real happiness.’ You are terrified that you will not be able to live up to the standards of those mantles. And it’s not standards set by your tribe or your father. You’ve made a cage, and it’s wherever you roam. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running to yourself.”

H’ollie looked up wide-eyed, on the breech of tears.

U’rahn paused to look over at Nyx. When Nyx nodded, he took a deep breath, and continued.

“Here. I collected this for you a few months ago. I do not want it anymore,” Nyaul stated, tossing a Tataru’s box onto his lap before wandering off into the alley to look for Coeurl themselves.

The Nuhn sat there stunned for a moment then opened the box, finding the bracelet with his initials on it. Sniffling, he tore out of the carriage just as thunder clapped out above. Rain soon poured down upon him as he ran into the alley after Nyaul.

“We gotta find Coeurl! Coeurl! COEURL! Come out,” he cried, “We have to get him. I thought…I thought he was just a passing buddy, but I was wrong…we belong to each other. He’s my Coeurl! Coeurl! Coeurl!”

Nyaul watched as H’ollie frantically ran about until hearing Coeurl’s meow. Quickly, the Nuhn scooped him up and held him close, putting him in his shirt to get him out of the rain before wandering back over to Nyaul. They stared at one another for a moment before embracing, sheltering Coeurl before starting to kiss in the alley as rain poured about them. 

“Your heroine remained more impassioned towards the end,” Nyx commented.

“Nyx…”

“I enjoyed this storytale despite it. I hope I helped you find the voice you needed.”

“Nyx!”

They turned as U’rahn’s voice echoed against the rocks, watching him tremble as he reached out to take their hand. “I belong to you…yeah?”

“No. I recall what it was like to be owned. I preferred it when I became tolerated. And I recall what it is like to be tolerated. I prefer it when I am accepted. However, I am fond of you in the manner in which you are trying to imply. You have accepted me. I in turn accept you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

Quietly, U’rahn looked up into the sky while Nyx studied his face, the Nuhn’s gaze soft, eyes slightly puffy, perhaps moved by his own story, or the insecurities he had failed to be subtle about expressing throughout. 

“Rahn. Your storytale has inspired an idea. It is not only myself who should have new experiences through our relationship. We should do something you’ve never done before tonight.”

U’rahn blinked, attention returning to Nyx as they moved closer. Before he could ask, he felt her lips against his, and her hand slide up his thigh. His ears perked high, then lowered softly as he moved to hold her.

Under the moonlight and in the springs of his beloved home. With the one he’d come to love the most. U’rahn finally lived up to his destined name.

[forkanna]

WARNING: NSFW. Punzelsanna content (Elsa/Anna/Jennifer Punzel).

NOTE: Wow, did not intend to post this almost exactly one month after the last chapter. But hey, that's kinda fun! I hope you all enjoy Anna's birthday celebration (which, also very coincidentally, happened right after my own). See you with another chapter very soon!

[AO3 LINK]

John did make the time to stop by the following week. Anna had been out with Punz, but she heard all about it when she got home. That really was the best news she could have expected. She found herself smiling the whole while they were having that conversation, even if it felt a little too early for celebration. But it was a step in the right direction.

Wendy didn't come around until after Christmas break was over and done with. Anna and Punz were already back in classes, and she only heard through a call from her dad that Wendy had stopped by to mend fences, and been highly distressed that she had missed her chance…

Since Elsa was already gone. Just as she had promised, once the holiday was over with, she hopped into the time machine and fast-forwarded another month. Again, from her father, Anna heard that Doc Pabbie had rigged up her phone so that the call would originate from somewhere overseas - a simple matter for anyone who'd heard of a VPN before, much less an actual scientist - and Elsa talked to her eldest daughter that way. Then checked in with John, as well. Then… gone again.

It was sad that Anna didn't get to see her during that visit, but it couldn't be helped. Her mother seemed determined to hold herself to that self-imposed policy that she and Anna had to eventually be closer in age if she was going to let herself enjoy their relationship. So when month after month slipped by, she wasn't surprised not to really hear from her mother.

Until the middle of March. Anna's nineteenth birthday.

Through pure chance, it fell on a Saturday, so she and Punz spent the day together, able to freely ignore the demands of classes. They had planned to see a movie and go out to dinner. And it was nice, it was, but on the drive home Anna couldn't help the little bead of sadness that kept pestering the back of her mind.

It felt… weird, not seeing Elsa on this particular date. Or hearing from her. And while she absolutely appreciated Jennifer and everything they did that day – everything that she had done to make her birthday special, like the incredible girlfriend she was – it was still depressing not to hear from her mother at all, and it weighed on her.

Clearly Punz knew. Anna tried not to drag her down, because she didn't want Punz to think she didn't love spending time with her, but she could still tell when Anna wasn't feeling completely okay. Maybe she had known that if Elsa didn't contact her then Anna would feel down, because when they got back to the dorm, there was a surprise waiting that Anna never would have guessed.

Or rather, wouldn't have guessed all of it. She had hoped – and to a certain degree, expected – they would have the traditional birthday sex at some point in the day. The thought that Punz would take it further than she ever had before didn't even cross Anna's mind. Punz was gorgeous and sweet and so, so receptive. Not passive, just… reactionary.

So when she pushed Anna onto the bed, moving to sit astride her as she pulled her shirt off, it was the most heavenly surprise.

"You're mine tonight," she said, leaning forward to capture Anna's lips in a possessive display of power. The quick view Anna had of the extra-lacy bra was enough to get her heart pumping. Any remaining thoughts of Elsa temporarily slipped beneath the waves of her own arousal.

"What does that mean?" she found herself whispering a short time later, as her own body was shucked of its trappings. "Do you… want me to call you 'master' or something?"

Punz flashed her a dark smile. One Anna could tell was completely pretend, but she appreciated all the same; this girl didn't have a sinister bone in her whole body. "Hmm, I like the sound of that. What about 'Miss Punzel'?"

Though privately, Anna felt weird about that because she used to call Jennifer's mother that sometimes, but she more often called her "Mrs. P" so it wasn't as odd as it could have been. So she simply nodded and whispered, "Miss Punzel, you're trying to seduce me."

"Oh, so now I'm your mom and you're me, huh?" Then she wrinkled her nose briefly. "Wait… that doesn't work, because your mom seduced you, not me. Nevermind, my Graduate metaphor totally fell apart."

"It's okay," Anna laughed. Privately, she thought Punz was a failure as a Dom, but she didn't want her to be a Dom. She wanted to be with her girlfriend - even if that meant playing their roles a little longer, just for fun. So she cleared her throat and started over: "Miss Punzel… what are you going to do to my body?"

Jennifer bit her lip for a long moment, eyes sweeping up and down her half-stripped form. "Mmm… anything I want. And there are a lot of things, little Anna."

"Little?!"

The outburst, minor though it was, allowed Anna to see a glimpse beyond the dominant act Punz was putting on; it made her shirk back, just a little; made her eyes slip from where they looked into Anna's. Made her look…

Scared. That really shouldn't have been a surprise to Anna at all. This was so far from the realm that they usually explored – or rather, the realm that Jennifer usually took charge of. If there was any roleplaying to be done, Anna orchestrated the entire affair. Punz was doing this purely to make her happy. Stepping beyond the bounds of her own comfort zone to do something she knew Anna enjoyed.

Anna had to kiss her for that. Then she had to divest Punz of the rest of her clothing just so she could look at her. Of course, it was the lacy red bra that held her attention the most, but she did make sure to appreciate the matching pair of panties that clothed Punz's glorious behind.

It was then that she remembered that Punz was supposed to be in control; how easily she handed it over! As fun as it would be to turn the tables, it was also glaringly obvious that her girlfriend had a plan; so, leaning forward and letting her hands caress the skin of Jennifer's thighs, Anna whispered, "Tell me what you want, Miss Punzel."

The small whimper Punz let out was delicious, but she was quick to regain control. "On the bed. Naked. Now. Right now." Okay, perhaps not as in control as she intended, but that was okay. This was new to the both of them.

But just as Anna was removing her shirt, there came an unwelcome interruption from the door. The worst part wasn't that someone was trying to get in; it was that they were succeeding. At the first thump, Anna had dreaded a stranger either calling out "Sorry!" or someone knocking and asking if they were in. Unfortunately, instead they heard the sound of a key scraping in a lock.

"Shit!" Punz whispered frantically. "The RA!"

At least it wasn't the RA, or anyone else on staff. In the darkened room, they could make out a blonde head peeking through the door, joy dancing in her eyes. Once the door swung a little wider, the eyes turned from amused to shocked.

"OH! O-Oh my GOD!"

"Elsa!" Anna hissed under her breath, trying to pull the sheet over hers and Punz's bodies and failing completely; it was pinned down by her own weight. "What are- did you- maybe KNOCK or something?!"

"Sorry!" she hissed, edging into the room and closing the door behind her. "Girls, I'm very sorry, I didn't- the lights were out, I thought I could surprise you before you got back from… well, from wherever you were!"

"Well consider me surprised!" Anna called out. There was still anger and disbelief in her tone, but that wasn't the only thing; once Anna had stopped trying to cover herself, it was easy to see how pleased she was. Her mother hadn't forgotten her birthday, after all.

"I'll come back in… in an hour?" she asked. It was too dark to make out her expression. Punz just sat atop Anna awkwardly – at least she wasn't facing the door. But even after offering, Elsa made no move to leave. Punz twisted her head a little, just to observe the older woman. Elsa's gaze was glued to Anna – in fact, Punz was certain that if she hadn't been there, Elsa would have stalked forward and done… well, exactly what she had been trying to do.

Hand shaking and voice trembling, she reached out to gently palm one of Anna's breasts. "If that's what Anna wants." God her voice sounded so frail, and it was nearly drowned out by Anna's gasp.

"I really am sorry," Elsa breathed, reaching over to set a couple of things on one of their desks. In the darkness, it was hard to tell what they were. "You can get on with whatever you were doing before, and I'll… catch you another time. Happy birthday, Anna."

The fact that Anna was about to let her go, without chasing after her for once, seemed to light a fire under Punz. Elsa had actually turned the doorknob and pulled it already when she squeaked, "Wait!"

"Hm?"

"Wait, Mrs… Elsa. I, um, I wanted to ask… to ask, um, what are you here for? Just like, because I know you didn't… that this wasn't on purpose, so what were you…"

After a few seconds when there had been no interruption of the sentence, she shrugged and whispered, "You're right, I wasn't trying to... interrput. I was just going to surprise Anna, but I think you have that covered!"

"She does," Anna said in deference to Punz. "But I mean, thank you. Seriously! It's just… y-yeah, we were in the middle of something."

"Of course! I completely understand."

"But you can come back in… an hour or two, and we can go out for ice cream or something like that. Right, Punz?"

But a very thoughtful look was on Punz's face. Not that Anna could see much in the darkness, but she had a feeling Punz was still blushing, and could almost feel her breath coming faster in some kind of panic. It worried her, until she whispered, "Yeah. I mean, you could stay now, too, if you wanted. Anna definitely wants you here, I think."

"No, no, I wouldn't want you two to stop for my sake," Elsa tried to laugh it off. She had stopped moving towards the door though – an invitation for Punz to continue, perhaps, or an indication that she didn't really want to leave, either. Maybe both.

"Who says we have to stop?" Punz shot back. Anna could hear the defensiveness lacing her tone, as much as it was shaking from anxiety, but she was more distracted by the words. And her own arousal. If Punz meant what Anna thought she meant, then…

Swallowing, Anna lifted herself up onto her elbows. She was still naked from the waist up, and the knowledge that both people in the room were aware of that fact… well, it certainly wasn't making her arousal fade.

"Wait, Jen," Anna began. "Do you mean like– we keep going? With Elsa still there?!"

Truth be told, it was something she hadn't considered. This was already weird enough – no need to make it weirder by inviting her girlfriend to have to confront it face-to-face. There was so much 'nope' already for any typical person to handle. But then, if Punz was offering – was okay with doing what she suggested, and Elsa okay with it, as well, then Anna saw no reason to argue. The longer she thought about it, the more appealing it was. But could either of them really be okay with that?

The best part was that even though she had asked a question, Punz didn't feel the need to verbally respond. She knew Anna's body – knew all its little signs and indications. So when she placed her hand on Anna's chest, gently rubbing circles against a pert nipple, it was more than enough of an answer.

Anna groaned and Elsa murmured a heated, "Oh goodness," and stumbled over to the unused bed on the other side of the room, sitting down heavily. As if she had sea legs.

"What's the matter?" Punz said, still sounding somehow both petulant and taunting. "You can't act like you've never seen her like this before."

"It's not that," Elsa assured her in a raspy voice. "Well… it'll sound silly to admit that I felt a little weak in the knees. I really should get up and shut the door, though…"

A thrill of dread shot through Anna's stomach. The door was still very slightly open; just a crack, so anyone walking past wouldn't see much. But they might hear something. After a split second's indecision, she scrambled out of the bed and shot toward it, practically slamming it shut.

"That's one solution," Elsa chuckled, a little amazed at the situation they found themselves in. Anna could relate.

"Good. Now, um… where were we?"

Punz stood from the bed. "I'll make this really easy for you, Anna." For a moment, she was afraid that her girlfriend would move to the door and leave, and that would be that. A horrible conversation to have the next day that would involve a lot of regrets and maybe some shouting.

But instead, she moved to the bed where Elsa sat and plopped down right next to her. Even in the low light, it was easy to see how much she was shaking as she looped her hand around Elsa's waist – prompting the elder woman to let out a quiet yip of pure surprise – then patted her own lap with the other.

"Come get your present, Anna."

The tremble was evident in her voice, too, but it seemed she genuinely wanted to go through with this. After all, she had always thought Jennifer was one of the bravest people she knew - and not because she was never scared. But because she could always push through that fear when it was important. Anna's eyes flickered over to Elsa, who was sitting stock-still as though any motion would send Punz scurrying for the hills.

"Well? Come on, Birthday Girl, it's not gonna wait around forever."

Smirking to herself, Anna finally began moving forward. Punz wasn't very convincing, but it wasn't like she didn't want whatever was going to happen. Her two favourite women were offering her a dream situation; she had to at least see if it would lead anywhere. Straddling Punz's lap, though, she had a brief moment of doubt.

"Wait, was my present this? Or was it… y'know, you?"

As soon as she asked, though, it became obvious that it had been a very stupid question. Punz froze, and her face darkened; this did not seem like a good blush, though. It didn't take a genius to figure out why Punz suddenly seemed so unsure of herself. Anna wasn't sure how to break the spell she cast, but it seemed she didn't have to.

Or rather, she could rely on someone else. Elsa, having been silently watching them for the past few minutes, made a very slow, deliberate motion as she moved her arm around Punz's side. It came to rest between her shoulders and her waist, but the real surprise was the tender, if platonic, peck she placed on Punz's forehead. Here was Mrs McFly, housewife and mother.

"Well, go on. Give her this present you keep talking about." And there was the hint of Elsa, the closeted teenage lesbian with the raging hormones to rival literally anyone of the 80s, who had grown into a cunning cougar over the course of thirty years. The woman Anna loved more than her own mother.

"Jeepers," was all Punz could make herself breathe. Instantly, Elsa withdrew her hand, but a moment later there was a quiet giggle. "S-sorry. I really don't know… I mean, I've barely done this stuff with Anna, let alone…"

"Can't handle the challenge?" Elsa prodded her very gently. Her coy smile made it clear – at least, to Anna – that she was only teasing. Her hand didn't return, and she didn't make any more advances toward the other college girl in the room.

But that wasn't how Punz perceived it. She took the smirk at face value, and frowned over at Elsa for a moment before snapping, "Hey, I might not have a half-century of experience like some old ladies…"

She couldn't help herself. Anna let out a cajoling "ooooooh" in Elsa's direction. Even though she wanted this, and wanted her mother to feel comfortable, she knew that Punz had more rights that night. Also, as the more nervous of the two, she needed the support - and she could show that by dishing it out at her mom.

"Hah!" Elsa burst out, finding it funny instead of insulting. "Didn't anyone ever teach you to respect your elders?"

"Well, you're definitely an elder." However, the banter was enabling Punz to loop her arms a little tighter around Anna. To find her confidence again. "What was it like before cars were invented?"

"Says the girl who isn't old enough to use one," Elsa fired back, still smirking as she let her hand drift down to rest on Anna's rear. It made the redhead let out a shaky sigh, appreciating their touches both independently and as a combined unit.

If Punz had been about to retort that she was, indeed, old enough to drive, it seemed to die on her tongue as Anna's pelvis tilted forward. Her chest was right there, in all its pert and uncovered glory. But she also didn't seem to know exactly what she wanted to do – if she did, then she lacked the courage. Here she was, sat in her underwear with her girlfriend atop her lap, and said girlfriend's mother sitting next to her. It was like a scene from an amateur porno - one that could never come true.

But Anna kept looking at her, all warmed up and clearly eager to get started. It was too late to back out now. Hands sliding up, they cupped Anna's breasts; small globes that fit perfectly in her palms. Anna sighed once more, leaning her head back as her right hand came to rest on Punz's. Her other hand travelled south to meet Elsa's, and she rolled her hips again.

It was, in part, an act. Even with the extra thrill of another person, there was no way she was that sensitive. But it was distracting, and before she knew it, Jennifer was kissing Anna's throat, licking and leaving little red marks. Anna let out a low hum at the sensation.

Fingertips dug into Anna's rear in reaction to the touch. So far, Elsa had mostly been egging the two of them on, but she was also being quite bold simply by not having left when the decision was put to her. Punz even moreso, since she was less experienced and already wasn't quite as comfortable with Anna's other relationship. Understandable as that was. It was interesting to see how they each handled being in this situation with the other present.

By the time she heard a shaky sigh from Punz, she was already practically aching with need from the kisses and light fondling, the other hand clutching down below. When she pulled back to shoot a questioning glance down, her girlfriend looked a little shy.

"Elsa's getting f-fresh," she whispered.

"I was not," Elsa said immediately, frowning over at her.

"You were heading for my ass!"

"No, I was petting your back! I promise you that I wasn't going any further downward than I had." But after a few seconds of stony, red-faced silence from Jennifer, she added, "Do you want me to demonstrate what that would feel like to prove it?"

"NO! No, just… ugh, I'm so bad at this… why can't I relax and just… let things happen? I know in my brain that it's alright for us to both 'play' with Anna together, but like… I still wanna punch you."

At that last word, Anna blinked in shock. "Punz!" But she also inexplicably felt her pulse increase. The idea of either of them fighting for her, claiming her as their own, was both alarming… and a slight turn-on. Not only that, but the fact that Punz had been so brazen with how she felt, that was a good thing – at least to Anna. Even in her arousal-addled mind, she could see that Punz was perhaps not seeing Elsa as "Mrs McFly" nearly as much as she used to.

But the fighting words really weren't getting anyone anywhere, least of all Anna. "Okay, you two," she breathed. The words were directed at both Elsa and Punz, but her gaze was fixed squarely on her girlfriend. She needed the most encouragement, after all. "There's a half-naked, entirely revved-up college girl sitting on your lap. And she really wants to be touched. And unless one of you starts, I suppose she'll just have to take over herself. Which would be a shame, really, because there's two equally gorgeous ladies who are allegedly trying to give her some birthday sex."

As she finished, Anna made sure to smile at Punz. She and Elsa had already played this particular game – the one of give and take – but Punz had yet to gain experience with it. She was as unsure as Elsa was - though in the latter's case, it was because this was so new and she was trying to be respectful of Punz's wishes.

But at the same time, Anna had been serious with her words. When Jennifer still hesitated, she sucked her bottom lip into her mouth at the same moment her hand snaked down. With the way she was straddling Punz, it couldn't have been more obvious what she was doing.

So it ended up that both Punz and Anna said "Oh!" at the same moment. It sounded a bit different, but the feeling expressed was parallel. Anna rocked her hips into her fingers as Punz was startled into silence, watching with wide eyes as her girlfriend began to work on her body.

"You're going to let her get away with that?" Elsa whispered. Cajoling, prompting. It didn't take much longer for Punz to begin kissing down her chest again, for now content to simply assist her girlfriend rather than taking over.

Meanwhile, it seemed Elsa had another tactic in mind to move things along. Her nails raked down Anna's back, causing her to hiss through her teeth and arch her back forward. Suddenly, Jennifer found herself with a mouthful, though she quickly adapted and began to lap and nibble at the erect teat between her lips.

"There we go," Elsa sighed, clearly a little affected by what she was watching but still not quite joining in. Not fully. "I'm sure she's been wanting that for a while now."

Jennifer didn't rise to the challenging words. Just the challenge itself, the needs of her girlfriend that she was determined to sate.

Anna was beyond happy; she felt like crying because it was more than she had ever dared ask for, even in the back of her darkest fantasies. A few times, she had thought about something like this, then reprimanded herself for being "gross"… and here it was coming true. They were both helping her get off at the same time; her heart was overflowing.

That alone meant that it really didn't take long for Anna to reach her finish. One of her fastest, too – though that wasn't including the foreplay, which took a little longer than usual. The sensation of Elsa's fingers scratching into her back and Punz kissing and sucking at her front worked in tandem to set her nerves alight. The final touch was her own fingers, going exactly where she needed them. Where she knew they would have the most influence.

Neither Punz nor Elsa quite knew what to do when she was finished – that much was obvious. Punz kept kissing, though there was no urgency that often came with her either attempting to sate herself or to encourage Anna to go again. And Elsa seemed not to want to give up her small grip on Anna. Of course, it couldn't last. With gentle motions, Anna removed her hand, wiping it on her stomach while her clean one came to cup Punz's cheeks and bring her face up so she could look into her eyes. And…

This kiss felt different, and Anna couldn't quite place why. True, even for her it was a little weird having Elsa right next to them as they made out; Punz probably felt similarly. Anna watched Elsa from the corner of her eye, and wasn't ashamed to admit – at least to herself, privately – that the brief look of want that passed her mother's face was hot.

After all, Elsa had obviously snuck in with her own plans in mind. Now they would just have to be fantasies.

Too soon, Punz had broken the kiss. She let out a little giggle when Anna whined and pressed her head forward, but didn't give in to Anna's wish for another.

"I need a shower," she announced, eyes flicking to Elsa for the briefest of moments before she was staring somewhere between Anna's ear and her chin. "You have some um, catching up to do."

"Maybe we could all shower," Anna purred with wiggling eyebrows. But all she got was a shove, so she popped up from Punz's lap to let her collect some clothes.

"I'll be right back. Have fun!" She looked a little sad, even though she was smiling. Then she was gone.

"I am so sorry," Elsa began immediately, before Anna could even turn around to look at her properly. "Honestly, I saw the lights off, and I didn't think… well, I should have knocked, at least."

"Maybe, yeah. Still… wow, that just happened."

Her mother chuckled a little and stood to cross the room, flicking on the overhead light. "It did. Not something I expected to have enjoyed tonight…"

And to Anna's surprise, it really seemed like it wasn't. Now, she could see that the desk had an expertly-wrapped gift and a chocolate cake in a plastic domed container. Simple, actual birthday trappings. There also seemed to be a plastic grocery bag full of assorted other things.

"You… were you gonna throw me a surprise party?"

"Not much of a party with just the two of us, possibly three. But just a little pleasant shock to your system, yes." Her hand came to rest on the cake. "We could still light candles and let you blow them out, if you like…?"

"Sure," Anna giggled, actually pleased. For some reason, it was nice to see some evidence that Elsa still remembered she was a person and not just a potential future wife, after all the time-hopping.

It was decided – mutually and silently – that they would wait for Punz before doing the cake-thing. But that didn't stop Anna from digging into the grocery bag or unwrapping her present. Inside the box, Elsa had placed another box – and inside that box was a photoframe, and in the frame was a picture Anna hadn't even been aware existed. Tori, in 1985, on stage at the Enchantment Under the Sea dance. Given her smile and the energy, it was likely when she was playing Bananarama.

"Where-?"

"They put it in the paper the next day. It was really no hassle to travel back and get them to develop another picture for me- or rather, for you."

Anna's fingers trailed over the glass. She looked ridiculous in those clothes, red hair wild; you would have to know it was her not to assume it was a lookalike. But that was the girl Elsa had fallen in love with. That was the beautiful part. "Thank you," she whispered earnestly. "It's… gnarly."

The corner of Elsa's mouth twisted in a smile. "Happy birthday, Anna."

Gently moving to place the picture on her desk, Anna was distracted by the grocery bag. "What have we here?" she asked, more to herself than Elsa.

Party hats and poppers filled its contents, and those terrible little party horns that unravelled as you blew into them. It entertained the both of them for a good ten minutes, and broke some of the tension of the previous moment. At least, until the RA did actually show up and chastised them for being too loud. She looked at Elsa a little longer than necessary, but Anna had a suspicion that it was more because she was unfamiliar than her age. The treatments from the future really had done wonders.

By that stage, a good half hour had passed, and Punz still had not returned. Her showers normally didn't take that long. "She's probably just run into a friend. Always the extrovert, that Jennifer Punzel!" Anna said. Elsa just looked at her. Sighing, Anna slumped. "Yeah, you're right. This is Punz we're talking about…"

"But it's alright. I get you to myself for a little while longer; I don't hate that."

Grinning, Anna kissed her on the cheek, and they snuggled for a moment. But nothing more came of it. She felt a little guilty for having reached her own heights without doing the same for her mother, but Elsa didn't seem particularly wound up. Just glad to spend time with her.

Eventually, Punz did return, looking pink and freshly scrubbed. When they asked what took so long, she cleared her throat and tried to be evasive.

"Oh hey, a cake!" she cried out. "Looks good, too… and the candles look ready to go."

"Did you get off in there?"

Punz didn't answer. Elsa glanced at Anna's amused face, then back to Punz. Finally, she shrugged and said, "It's not like we don't all do it. You had a very good reason to on this occasion, I might add."

"I did," she sighed weakly, glancing at Anna – who had long ago pulled on an oversized tee. "Sorry… y-yeah, I needed to blow off a little steam in there."

"You really could have told me to get lost, though. That way, Anna could have returned the favour instead of you having to run off – or you could have done it with me here, anyway. You're together and have every right-"

"In front of you? N-nah… I'm not ready for… well, for that kinda stuff." By now, she was beet red, but she did keep glancing at Elsa's patient smile. Anna felt her eyes narrowing in suspicion, but she also knew intellectually that she just wasn't used to doing anything "bad" in front of someone she still saw as a parental figure.

And besides, it wasn't like she had any right to be jealous, particularly not of a perceived attraction between Punz and Elsa. One she was probably imagining anyway.

"C'mere," Anna offered, brushing away that silly thought. It was still her birthday for another few hours, and that wasn't nearly enough time to waste any on stupid notions of jealousy.

Punz didn't move forward, though. Anna saw her glance at her own bed, biting her lip, and she knew precisely what was going through her girlfriend's head at this given moment. This called for something bigger.

"Jen… please?" Holding her arms out, Anna tried not to let her bottom lip wobble too much. Didn't want any overkill, after all.

But it had the unintended side effect of making Elsa sit up, ensuring there was an appropriate distance between herself and Anna when she said, "Perhaps I should be going…"

"Don't!" Punz piped up. Only after she said it did she seem to realise what she was saying, and she glanced down toward the floor. "Well… you did come to help Anna celebrate her birthday, and I know you kinda did that part, but like…"

Elsa's smile was definitely of a motherly type. "Very sweet of you to offer, but I can tell what kind of evening you two intended to have. And I've intruded on it enough - even though it's been… interesting."

Anna looked between them for a moment. Elsa wasn't leaving very fast; she seemed to be waiting for Punz to speak. For her part, she seemed to be indecisive; probably because she felt asking Elsa to stay was the right thing to do, but she wasn't used to arguing with "adults".

"You get in bed," she told Jennifer as she stood up. "I'll just be a sec." Then she took Elsa's elbow and steered her toward the door.

"You don't have to throw me out," Elsa giggled. "I have two perfectly good legs."

"They are perfect legs," Anna conceded, and her mother's head dipped in very slight chagrin at the unexpected compliment. Her voice dropped to a whisper. "I know it's my birthday, but, um… can we do something nice for Jen?"

"Hm? I mean, if it's what we just did for you, I don't think she's interested in that from my direction."

Waving a hand, she hissed, "Not that! But what if we get her some of that cake and cuddle her? I want her to feel loved; not in the sexy way, just like, that we both really care about her and she's not just the third wheel when you and me are together."

Thoughts were clearly flying back and forth behind her mother's blue eyes. "You really don't think she'd be uncomfortable?" Anna shook her head, and Elsa shrugged one shoulder. "We can try it. I'll feel a little strange about cuddling her, myself, but I think I can fake that I'm not better than she can. And… well, I do really want to make it up to the both of you."

Anna bit her bottom lip. She didn't want Elsa to have to fake it. But maybe that was what they needed right now: a chance to get used to this changing dynamic. When this whole thing began, it wouldn't have been a radical assumption to think that neither Punz nor Elsa expected their own relationship to change this much. In fact, Anna was fairly certain Punz thought they would get along less, if only because, well… her first reaction to the news was to throw up. And now she was actively giving them space.

What did she do to deserve such a wonderful girlfriend?

That question that filled her mind as she walked back over to Punz. She did as she had been told, but she still seemed unsure; she was sitting cross-legged, curling herself up just enough to seem smaller than usual. Like she was the one trying not to intrude. Anna's heart went out to her. She was so good. Nevermind what Anna did to deserve Punz: she didn't. But for whatever reason, Punz had chosen her, and Anna needed to live up to that.

She would do her damndest to try, at any rate.

"Okay, here's what we're going to do," Anna announced, clapping her hands together once. "We're gonna sit on that bed and watch a movie and eat cake, and you're gonna let us cuddle the shit out of you, okay?"

Her words were fierce, and her tone even moreso. Punz kind of looked like she had been warped into an alternate dimension where everyone had horse-heads. "What?"

"You heard me." When Anna noticed Elsa was already opening up the cake pan, lighting the candles, she let out a self-conscious little laugh. "Oh, we don't still need to do that."

"Of course we do, and I think Jennifer would agree. Right?"

After only a slight hesitation, Punz swallowed hard and nodded. "Y-yeah. It's the only part of this crazy birthday that still looks normal. We have to, Anna - you deserve a real cake and all!"

So Anna let them sing "Happy Birthday" to her, and she made a big deal out of conducting their performance until they all started laughing. Then she blew out her candles and they cut the cake into slices, Elsa insisting that the other two start the cuddling while she served them. The mom coming out in her again. Soon enough, they were all half-lying against the headboard and watching an old classic that Anna had selected.

"Truly one of the greats," Elsa muttered around her bite of cake as the words "The Goonies" appeared on the black screen. "Turn it up."

Punz did, too nervous to eat quite yet. "Um… is it okay to say that I've never seen this?"

"What?!" Anna burst out in so much surprise that her bite fell back into her bowl. "How have we been going out this long and I'm just learning about this now?!"

"Manners, Anna," Elsa chastised as Punz gave a sheepish shrug. Anna rolled her eyes and picked up the piece of cake.

"Lucky we're fixing that, then. This is a classic. And it has the Chinese kid from Indiana Jones – and Josh Brolin way before he was cool, Samwise before he hit the Shire!"

"Just let her watch the movie."

Punz shot Elsa a grateful smile. Then she took a small bite of her cake and settled in against her girlfriend to watch the movie. To Anna, she looked a lot more comfortable than she would have expected. But that was good. It was more than that, really: it was nice.

And it only got nicer. They finished their cake and got cleaned up. Anna ducked out for a "super duper really quick shower," and when she got back, Elsa and Punz were in almost the same position that they had been in when she left. There was a little more distance between them versus with Anna, but honestly, it was hardly noticeable. When Anna returned to her seat, all clean and cool, Punz even moved closer to Elsa to give her room.

Even more wild, they stayed that way. Punz may have curled up against Anna more closely, but Elsa curled up against Punz - and she didn't seem to mind. Even if nothing particularly risque happened at all, it was so heartening to see them growing that comfortable with each other. Maybe this really was going to work out.

For Anna, there was only one disappointment: when the movie ended, and Elsa made to get up.

"Wh- where are you going? Don't- don't you wanna stay here tonight?" Anna asked. Punz looked between the both of them, obviously halfway asleep already. She was awake enough to catch the small look Elsa gave her, and awake enough to do something about it. Putting her hand on the older woman's, she stared at them for a second.

"If-if you wanna stay, that's fine. Don't think you're not allowed… okay?"

"You're a sweetheart, Jennifer. But I really didn't intend on staying the night anyway. You're both tired and there isn't a lot of room." She leaned forward, across Punz, to kiss Anna's cheek and then her lips. "But I hope you had a wonderful birthday, my darling." She kissed Anna once more, and when she drew back, they both noticed something odd.

Punz was staring at them. Well, more precisely, she was staring at Elsa.

"Punz…?"

"Huh?"

"Did you, uh… were you staring at her b-"

"Would you like a kiss, sweetheart?" Elsa to the rescue with her blunt words and soft tone. At least it kept Punz from having to admit that she was checking out her girlfriend's mother's cleavage - even if Anna wasn't entirely sure tha twas the case. Immediately, Punz's face began to darken, and she looked away.

"N-n-nah, that'd be weird for you, probably. I m-mean, you're Anna's mom and her, uh, other girlfriend? Or whatever you would call that. A-and you and I… we're not…" But it seemed the more she stumbled over her words, the more she was making it sound like she really was interested in getting some variety of affection from the older woman. Whether or not that was truly the case, she clamped her lips shut.

So Elsa kissed her cheek. It was still a lot more affectionate than either girl expected, but the lessened level of intimacy compared to Anna's kiss seemed to set Punz at ease a little. She let out a slight sigh, eyes closing until the lips left her face.

"We both care very deeply for Anna," she told her gently as she patted her forearm before standing up. "Which means we should care for each other, as well. I already did before this whole craziness, because I could tell you're a sweet person who deserves her affections. Though I know it's difficult to navigate… well, whatever this has turned into. Doesn't mean I'm not willing to try."

Punz looked like she was going to blush until she melted, so Anna quipped, "I'm pretty lucky to have such hot sisterwives."

"And don't you forget it," Elsa told her in a slightly sharper tone, though she was smiling. They both shared a laugh as she put her shoes back on and gathered her purse. "Happy birthday. And when Jennifer comes back to reality, tell her I said 'goodnight' for me?"

"Uh-huh," Punz just managed to mutter. Anna rolled her eyes.

Once they were alone, she finally did seem to come back to herself. As they turned off the TV and finished getting ready for bed, she asked her, "Punz?"

"What?"

"Are you starting to crush on Elsa?"

"N-no!" she hissed in alarm. "I mean… okay, so she's really hot, and I do like her, but it's not the way I feel about you. Just that… I dunno, I didn't expect any of this, and it's all… hinky."

Sighing, she abandoned her own bed to crawl into Anna's and get it warm for the both of them. They did sleep separately most of the time because the beds were too small to truly accommodate two people, especially with the way they both tended to sprawl out during sleep. However, sometimes creature comfort was more important.

"But I mean, I definitely would rather your mom give me a little cheek-peck than deal with like, jealous fighting or whatever."

"That makes it sound like the lesser of two bad options," Anna pointed out, sliding in next to her girlfriend. Punz didn't say anything at first; only wrapped her arms around Anna and snuggled in.

When she did finally speak, it was to apologise. "Sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" Anna asked. There was a laugh in her tone and she lifted a hand to run through Punz's hair. "What's going on? Between this and the Halloween party…" When all she got was a shrug, she pressed on. "Please talk to me…"

Letting out a sigh, Punz pushed her face in closer. "I'm just sorry. I'm probably making this harder for you and Elsa than it has to be."

"What? If anything, you're making it easier! Why would you think that?"

"I just feel like I… get in the way sometimes. So I try to give you space but that always backfires…"

Wrapping her arms and legs as tightly around Punz as she could, she whispered into her hair, "Shhhhh. You are never in the way. Never, you hear me? Just… I mean, I appreciate you giving Elsa and me some alone time, just like I appreciate Elsa ducking out to give us some. But that doesn't mean you're 'in the way'."

"Okay," she finally sighed, even if she was still quite tense. "I'm… I know, and I know you mean that. Just feels that way sometimes, anyway. It's dumb."

"It is dumb. But I get how you feel that way. Even if I hope you can start to feel that we both care about you. It's not like, just me tolerating you, and Elsa wants you gone. She loves you, too - even if it's not like the way I love you."

Snuggling in closer, Jennifer whispered, "I'm just not used to having a mom care about me. On top of her looking more like your big sister now. Like, it's a good feeling; a weird one, but a good one. I just have to get used to it, I guess. This whole thing. But I think… if you're sure you want me around…"

"Double-sure. Triple!" They both giggled a little. "I mean it."

"Okay. I trust you, Anna."

And those were the last whispered words either of them breathed before drifting away to the realm of sleep.

~ o ~

But the notion that Jennifer would always feel a little left out until they did something about it stayed with Anna as she returned to her daily routine. After a few weeks, she began to jot down ideas. It wasn't easy, but the next couple of times Elsa popped her head into Anna's life, she cornered her so they could plot for the future — hard as it was to resist engaging in other activities.

Eventually, summer break came around, and they spent the first couple of weeks doing the beach-themed vacation they had planned on. After that, the initial strategy was to go back to campus and work to help offset costs.

And they did, for a bit. Until one weekend in July…

To Be Continued…

[casspurrjoybell-29]

Healing Ties - Chapter 43 - Part 1

*Warning Adult Content*

The creature took a swipe at Kit but its paw went straight through them.

In the moment of confusion that followed, Cookie leapt out from the trees and took on a low, threatening stance, chittering angrily as she faced off against the creature.

As scary as Cookie looked, she was soft and defenseless.

Fanner cringed at the thought of what that creature's claws could do to her vulnerable body.

"Stop it," Kit shouted and it took Fanner a moment to realise why it had sounded so odd.

He had heard the words inside his head, not out loud.

"They're not human. Stop."

"They look human," the creature growled.

"So do I and you just put a paw through me, so maybe think on that one for a second."

"We're not," Fanner insisted.

He exchanged a look with Duran and, in unison, they threw up balls of mage-light.

There was a pitter of paws and Yore came running up, still in wolf form.

He took in the scene and then strode forward, putting himself between the creature and the mages.

As the creature's fury began to deflate, it started to seem a lot less monstrous.

There was uncertainty, even worry, on its face.

"Well... what are you then?"

"Mages," Fanner answered.

"I... Oh," the creature said, its shoulders sagging. "I am so sorry. Are you okay?"

"I'll let you know when the adrenaline wears off," Duran grumbled.

Fanner moved closer as Yore started to shift.

He didn't know what he'd do if anything actually threatened him but it was a vulnerable moment so it only seemed right to protect him.

Once Yore was standing on two feet, Kit shot him a shrug.

"Guess I didn't keep that promise about you not seeing me again for very long."

"I don't know what just happened here but I'm guessing I should be grateful you didn't," Yore said.

"What did happen here?"

"I heard there were humans and I wanted to kill some humans," the creature murmured.

"But they weren't humans, I guess."

Cookie had lost interest in being threatening by now and was busying herself with picking berries by the fistful and shovelling them into her mouth.

"And now you're looking at him and you're thinking that he also now looks like a human," Kit said to the creature.

"I'm revoking your human killing privileges, Harrison."

"How did you know my name?" the creature, Harrison, asked.

"I know a lot of things," Kit said. "I know you've done a very bad thing and sorry isn't going to be good enough."

"But..." Harrison objected.

"Well, what do you want?"

"There are thousands of humans. Killing a few won't do anyone any good. The humans want to kill these mages. Your job is now to make sure that doesn't happen. That's helpful."

"Your protection on our way to the spire would be appreciated," Yore said.

"I'm recovering from a serious injury and my friends here aren't fighters. Besides, if you want to contribute to fighting back the humans, you're far better off joining in on an organised effort back at the spire."

"I don't know if I'm very good at being organised," Harrison said.

"But I will go with you and kill any humans we see."

"No," Kit said.

"You'll defend them from any humans, or anything else for that matter, that attacks them. Some of their friends are human, and they won't like it much if you kill them."

Harrison's furry face scrunched up.

"Who has humans for friends?"

"You're smarter than this, you're just scared to be because it means changing the way you think. You say that shit out loud but in your head you're thinking about your parents. About how they were created after two humans got into a fight with a bear and everyone lost. When you were little and they told you about all the memories they had of being human, it never crossed your mind to think that those humans that ultimately became a part of your parents had been evil."

Harrison dropped his head and frowned at the ground.

"I don't like you being in my head."

"Well, I'm in there whether you like it or not. I'm not looking to dig into things that are none of my business but you did just try to kill my friends."

"But I'm sorry and I said I'd help now, didn't I?"

Fanner went to check on Duran, running his hands over his chest and down his back to feel for damage.

He was a little bruised from getting slammed against the tree but nothing more serious than that.

"I just want to make sure you understand before I step away," Kit said.

"And I see that you do. Well enough, anyway."

"Wait," Fanner said.

"You're leaving again?"

"I'm..." Kit held their hands out. "Fanner, I'm really not here."

"I know, but... well, I don't really know but um. Can't you stay and talk for a while? I don't mind that you can only talk to us by... I don't know. Being in our heads somehow? It doesn't matter. I'm not scared of you anymore and I want you to stay."

"I'm here. Whether you can see me or not, I'm here."

"But... can't we talk?" Kit sighed.

"Harrison. Walk down the stream until you find a knife and a dead rabbit. Bring them back."

Harrison frowned.

"You don't want me listening?"

"I'm projecting myself into four people's minds right now. That's exhausting. I can drop that down to three if you leave. Go find the things and don't rush getting back."

"Okay. I'll find the things and I won't kill any humans."

"Thank you," Kit said as Harrison loped off down the bank.

"So you're... Kit?" Duran reached out a tentative finger towards Kit's elbow, then pulled his hand back when it went straight through.

"Sort of," Kit said.

"They only answer questions vaguely," Fanner said.

"Hmm. And yet Yore still figured us out."

Fanner turned his head to Yore, surprised.

"You did?"

"Yeah," Kit said. "And now he has this moral crisis where he doesn't know if the right thing is to tell you everything he knows or respect my privacy and it's getting kind of annoying, so I suppose I'll solve the dilemma for him and just tell you myself."

"Sorry," Yore said. "I didn't mean to take that decision away from you."

Kit dismissed the apology with a wave of his hand.

"It's my fault. I said more than I needed to and you figured it out. Maybe I wanted someone to. I don't know. It's amazing how long you can spend deep inside your own head and still not really understand yourself."

"Figured what out?" Fanner asked.

"Figured out that I'm Cookie."

"You're..." Fanner looked between Cookie, who was still stuffing her face with berries and Kit.

"What?"

"It's... complicated. It actually, genuinely is. Even just saying that I'm Cookie is a huge oversimplification and not really all that accurate. I could try to explain it and I think Yore would get it but I don't think the two of you understand how these things work well enough for it to really make sense to you. So... how about I show you instead?"

"Show us?"

"Yes. If you all lay down and close your eyes, I can show you what happened. Like a dream."

"I don't know..." Yore said. "That doesn't feel very safe out here."

"I've got eyes all around here. I'll know if anything is coming. Trust me."

"I trust you," Fanner said, then turned to Yore.

"Yore...?"

Yore inclined his head.

"Okay. I trust you as well, Kit."

They lay down on the ground, side by side, with Fanner in the middle.

Fanner reached out and took Duran's hand and then tapped his fingertips against the back of Yore's until he took Fanner's hand as well.