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anna-pixie · 4 years

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//I do actually!! I was wondering if you wouldn't mind doing a Prince Nuada x chubby shy/social anxiety/insecure reader? Maybe he notices her because she is mostly on her own? A little romantic or fluffy, some comfort in his own blunt way? :) I've been feeling down lately and Nuada (even though he's "evil") is my favorite character!! Plus he's cute so that is a bonus. Lol. If not I can pick someone else instead of him. :)

finally got this done, i’m sorry it took so long - i struggled to write for this character for some reason. probably just because i’m unfamiliar with him. i hope i did him justice, but if i didn’t please let me know, i’d love to try again! (i hope the end isn’t too dark, i know you wanted fluff!)

request: Prince Nuada x chubby shy/social anxiety/insecure reader? Maybe he notices her because she is mostly on her own? A little romantic or fluffy, some comfort in his own blunt way? :)

pairings: prince nuada x reader

warnings: violence, death, bullying.

Your leg bounces as you take a seat on the back row, chewing on your nails as you focus on trying not to breathe too loudly. Someone turns, their eyes passing over you as they look for someone entering the room. Your brain tells you that they’re looking at you. Oh, God. Do you have something on your face? You think that person is friends with Ryan anyway. Speaking of the devil, he strides into the room without a care, a smirk spreading across his face when he sees you sitting on your lonesome.

He stops next to your seat for a moment, flicking your pen onto the floor as he pretends to be apologetic.

“Oh, silly me!” He exclaims dramatically, and you hear a few giggles around the room, “I’m ever so sorry, fatso. Oops! I mean, Y/N.” He grins at you, baring his slightly yellow teeth as you look at the ground, begging yourself not to cry again.

You thought you’d be safe from childish bullies by now, I mean, you’re in your last year of university Goddammit. But no, Ryan torments you relentlessly day in and day out. You already have enough anxiety, this was just the cherry on top.

You let out a small sigh as your lecturer enters the hall using the door at the front of the room. He is followed by a few students, each wheeling in a podium with a glass case atop. You feel yourself getting excited, your professor has managed to rent a few artifacts to enrich your lecture today, you can’t wait.

Ancient culture has always been your calling. From a young age, you were completely fascinated by it. It’s like your safety blanket, your comfort for when the world gets too harsh for you. You don’t even feel like you’re doing a degree on it, it feels like you’re learning for fun.

20 minutes later, you stop taking notes to shake your hand out, it gets terribly achy when you write for too long. You listen to your professor talk about the royal crown of something or other, when he is interrupted by the lights suddenly flickering, before going out altogether.

Your breathing speeds up and you try desperately to get it under control, your eyes widening in fright when you see the man striding into the room. Is it a man? If he is, he must be the strangest looking man you’ve ever seen. You realise he is speaking, but you can’t hear what he is saying, your mind is too loud. You’re screaming in your head, but you can only manage to choke on your quick breaths out loud. You see your classmates panicking, screaming, running to the back of the room.

You don’t move, you can’t. You’re paralysed. You don’t even move as the white haired man kills your professor with his giant staff. You don’t move when you hear the thunderous footsteps behind you. You don’t move when a giant metal fist slams down beside you, tables and chairs breaking and wood chips flying all over the place. Some slice your skin, but you don’t notice.

You only move when you feel warmth under your chin. A hand, you think. Your head is tilted up and you lock eyes with the creature that killed your professor. Skin as pale as the paper in your discarded notebook, lips as black as your hair. Your eyes trace the light scarring on his face, and only then do you register that his lips are moving.

“You didn’t run, foolish girl.” His voice is low, unexpectedly posh, and dare you say - comforting?

“I-I didn’t run.” You repeat. Your brain is taking a while to catch up with the events at hand. This happens every time you have a minor panic attack.

“I should kill you.”

“Oh.” Is your only response. Very good.

“You’re shaking like a leaf.” His hand travels to your hand, sliding down before resting on your upper arm. You cringe as he squeezes slightly. Is he going to comment on your weight as well?

“I’m sorry. I-I couldn’t move. I… they probably wouldn’t have let me leave anyway.” You don’t even expect your words, and neither does this strange person whose face resembles Munch’s ‘Scream’.

“Excuse me?”

“Nevermind, I’m sorry. I-.” You stop talking. You realise that you’re probably going to die, why bother talking and just embarrassing yourself more?

He points his bloody staff towards the door that the rest of the class had escaped through, “The ones who fled, they tormented you?”

He is oddly perceptive, and although you had just witnessed him kill someone, you can’t help but find his concern comforting.

“Yes.” There’s no point lying, not now.

“Why?” You giggle sardonically, as if it’s not obvious. You wave your hands, gesturing to your body.

“Please, elaborate.”

“Me. I’m asking for it, can’t you see? I’m fat!” You’re crying now. Isn’t that strange, you’re crying at this rather than the thought of your impending death at the hands of a weirdly attractive madman.

“Your tormentors are nothing but cowards. Action should be taken with reason behind it. Do you think I would kill if not to achieve a goal?” You shake your head, too nervous to disagree with him, “Human bodies. They’re easily destructible. But they’re different. I’ve seen many humans in my time, no two with the same body. Being larger isn’t something that should be frowned upon. Look at my friend here.” You turn to the large blue monster guarding the doorway, “He’s absolutely hideous, to the people who ran away from him. An ugly monster, they say. To me he is precious. Everything that repulses them makes him special to me. Looks change, bodies change. Look at you. You’re beautiful.” A tear slides down your face as the pale man finishes speaking.

“Wow. I… I don’t know what to say.”

“Stop crying.” He snaps, causing you to flinch suddenly, “Humans.” He tuts, shaking his head.

“Thank you…”

“Nuada.”

“Thank you, Nuada.”

He tilts your chin up once more, this time with the sharp end of his staff.

“You’re not like them.” That’s the last thing he says to you before he leaves, taking an artefact with him as he goes. You listen to the thunderous sounds of that things footsteps retreating as you sit silently. What had just happened?

Everything went back to normal pretty quickly. You assume Nuada has forgotten about you. Of course he has, why would he bother remembering someone like you?

Ryan’s tormenting only got worse, it’s clear he is suffering some severe issues ever since the ordeal and he seems to be taking it out on you.

You accept that this will never change, until one day it does.

You get home to a parcel on your doorstep. You don’t know what you’re expecting, it’s so beautifully wrapped, with a gold wax seal and everything. You shut your front door with your shoulder, unwrapping the parcel as you go. It’s strangely heavy. You peek inside once you open it, furrowing your brows as you see a large sheet with some beautifully written words on:

‘THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS TO COWARDS’

You pull the paper out, screaming at the top of your lungs and dropping the box when you see what is inside. The box hits the floor and falls over, the object rolling onto the floor.

Ryan’s head.

Just his head.

You should be horrified, you know. However, you can’t help the smile that creeps onto your face. Nuada sure has unorthodox methods of comforting someone.

#prince nuada #nuada x reader

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natakari-tash · 4 years

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More lies, more projecting..

Anons by their side, wow, doesn't sound familiar at all.

December 2019 has been a long time ago, I've been in the twitter GC when the "confrontation" happened. Been confused by the way it all exploded, I remember that clearly. This group chat has always been and meant to be a safe space, to vent, to discuss fandom things, talk about the show too. When misunderstandings happened they were either cleared up in chat or in messages or just given time to cool off. People clash sooner or later, you can't agree with everyone on everything, nothing wrong about that. No one is, will be nor was blamed for leaving the chat, even less for taking a break from the fandom. Also need to add that all fans are equal regardless the followers or whatever reason someone finds to assign as "qualifying" to be better than others. So, a group chat of fans that are friends, new people added here and there, new friendships made, fallouts happen here and there, friends talk again, life continues.

Except... This was never a problem to these two. Tink and Saz. They saw and seem to still see it the same way (if not worse) as back then. That Min is the problem. Guilty of always speaking condescendingly to other fans according to both, considering Tink an "idiot" which was pulled out of thin air (again, I happened to open the chat on those messages, closed it as I thought it has been cleared up to an extent).

How did Saz reply to my message where I reached out to her? "I'm sorry you feel that way"

See? No remorse. Claimed she wasn't uncomfortable with the whole gc but uncomfortable and scared of Min. Sell that bs to someone else.

According to Saz, the whole chat was okay with Min's horrible behavior that no one dared to speak about nor put a stop to it which had to be changed. When no one bit her bait she was clearly free to claim we're all horrible people that gang up on others and attack them relentlessly whenever they think differently. She's still saying it. Wow, standing up to hurting people, to lies, to other obvious bs makes you an awful person. Guess I shouldn't report anyone who attacks shippers solely for the ship and not behavior.

How dare friends vent for the past pain some fans inflicted on them and keep it contained in *gasp* a group chat that isn't public and everyone is free to be themselves?! The woooorst.

Okay, back to those memories.. Soon enough Saz was yet again defending Tink, claiming Min didn't stop but supposedly made subposts or sth and even threatened and blackmailed her.

Uh, wtf?? Way to twist words, wow, taking everything someone posts as personal. So healthy...

I've left them alone, so did my friends from chat and outside it. It's always the two that mention us in some way, add a lie etc. They do it in cycles they keep accusing us of.

Turn off that projector already, you two, move on, stop being vengeful spirits, c'monnn.

I'm not sure what happened before and what after, me messaging Saz or her messaging people from the chat she supposedly considered friends like Tink supposedly did too, I am sure that Saz went around trying to pull people with her and stand up to the massive threat that she clearly still sees Min as. I never messaged Tink. None of the people that have been contacted from the chat that have known Min for longer than me and also irl, none have agreed with Saz. What's even worse, Saz fed all that to another friend that I didn't see as being played by her, used this friend at the confrontation. That it indeed took me long to see.

At a point the two admitted that why they joined the chat for over a year, planning to leave it soon, that they regretted thinking it was a good idea, then both acted like that didn't happen- never said that, that no one saw that. Suuuure.

Hey, people have memory not just eyes. Your bs is not any less bs, Tink, Saz. Think we'll just ignore what we know know and ignore your maskless faces? Nah. Nice try.

Filp and flop, bitter then not and not then bitter again, contradicting selves again and again, taking every swing our way as an opportunity to add to it...

Like I mentioned already, it's cyclic. Feeling attacked so they let it out, then silence from them about it, bam, silence, more lies, silence, more slander, silence, new name for the horrible gc, silence and without doubt there's been bad mouthing in the months I moved on and didn't even remotely think of either of them.

When I expressed doubt to Saz about her words she took it as intimidation tactics, that this is what she gets or daring to disagree with Min and trying to call out Min. Her words. That I'm blind if I can't see the problem with Min, also that I'm bullying her.

Hello? Irony anyone? Self-awareness?? No one's home. Naturally. She's the frigging blind one. When it's more than one person that tells you you're wrong maybe take a step back and consider seeing where you're wrong and work on it. Saz and Tink have been around Min for less than others within the chat if I'm correct. Hell, I didn't know Min for as long as Chriss, Shea, Dot, Hikari, Sam and many others, yet still enough to see how Min is. A person, that like everyone can mess up, fight, apologize, stand up to inaccuracies, to bs and other things while doing their thing, living their life, having their views...

Saz and Shea talked, anyone that knows anything about Shea knows that she won't just nod to bs and . She knows how people can get, knows how to handle them, had a job like that. She can go from zero to murder cop if necessary. Being Min's partner she looked into the situation and guess what? The whole thing has been taken out of proportions, there was no condescending tone, and also no innocents she said. I'll never forget that. No innocents. No one was innocent. There have been mistakes made my Min, being condescending WASN'T one of them.

Yes, I've accused Saz of being okay with Yeshim because Drula is all buddy with Yeshim who Saz was (is?) friendly with, true, had to see the reaction. Did I believe that? Nope. That reaction along with the previous messaging told me enough on its own. Wasn't seeing her as a friend when I first messaged her already yet still being open to hear her side but nothing more cause it was clear to me she won't change her mind any soon nor will apologize to everyone she hurt. Her reply showed me she didn't and doesn't care about anyone in the chat but her and Tink.

I'll say it no matter how many times it needs to be said. If one of my friends does sth wrong and I see it I'll most likely contact them, reach out to them, tell them they did sth wrong, do it within a chat as it happens if needed.

My point? I don't manipulate the people I consider as friends.

And once again.. Not only I'd notice the superiority in tone if there was any, I'd frigging mention it and talk about it. Most likely in DMs.

It looked like a misunderstanding at first, handled poorly, it uncovered a whole mountain of yikes in the end, kept getting worse since then. I think Saz never truly saw anyone in chat as her friends, she wouldn't accuse us that fast and keeping it up so long if she did. Acting like we betrayed her not the other way around.

Now the cult thing, Polol Discord server, Min being the cult leader.. Saz is lying again. Tink too. Notice the pattern?

Min being guilty of sth. Them not able to see what's right infront of their noses. People supposedly fearing Min and afraid to disagree. Min being a mighty fearful cult leader for having certain knowledge & being specialized in their fields. Uh, not happening. Obsessed much?

Ask anyone in the server, I'm waiting.

Stop projecting your issues on people, Saz and Tink. Not anyone's fault around here you feel inferior, feel the need to save people from others, feeling threatened without being threatened, playing victim for who knows how long so far, assigning power and clout where it's not in play at all. Therapy is nothing shameful, moving on is necessary. Please.

#hop off already #life is meant to be lived #move tf on already #tink #saz

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journeysintowebcomics · 6 years

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Worm Liveblog #84

UPDATE 84: Cornered

Last time Skitter had managed to take the very injured Glory Girl to Panacea, who managed to heal her, but needs more care. She walked away with her injured sister. Now what shall be done about the Slaughterhouse Nine? Let’s continue.

So they had deduced he’s likely to be at one of the Endbringer shelters. Which one, though? There must be one nearby, I suppose they can narrow down the list to those that are in the direction those two were seen running to, but no guarantees they’re over there. The Undersiders have the advantage of numbers, but dividing by teams may be a bad idea because they may not be able to keep Jack and Bonesaw busy. All in all...everyone staying together and checking concrete shelters may be the best thing to do.

They currently have two places where they think those two may have gone to: one underneath the central library, and one near the place where Scion fought Leviathan – the one Skitter went in and fought Leviathan to protect civilians.

“If I had a preference, I’d rather we check the library first. Bad associations with the other spot.”

Tattletale turned her head at that. “I thought you’d be proud.”

I shook my head.

It has been a long while since I even thought of those times. A very, very long time, so the details are kind of fuzzy. That said, I remember she almost died. That can’t have been a good time. Also, civilians died, and if there’s one thing Skitter excels at, it’s at blaming herself. Those two reasons can’t be filling that area with good memories at all.

Apparently it’s exclusively because of her failure at saving everyone who was there, her own extensive injuries have nothing to do with the bad associations. Knowing Worm and Mr. Wildbow, they’re at the shelter with the bad memories. Watch it happen, I’m already calling it.

“I dunno. I think of what happened back then, and I get this ugly feeling in my gut, like I did something wrong, or I didn’t try as hard as I could have because there was someone in that shelter who I sort of hate. Hated? I’m not sure if I should use past tense.”

“One of your bullies?” She asked.

I just spent a couple minutes trying to remember which one of the bullies was in there. I thought it was Emma. She then clarified it was a teacher, and I remembered, it was the Disney Channel teacher. Gladly, that was his name. The first two or three chapters of the first arc are so far away now, they almost seem like parts of a different story. Who’d have thought at this point Worm would be so different?

She can’t feel proud of her behavior back then, even if it was the first time she did anything that could be called heroic. To think Skitter could have died at that point...what an ending to her story that would have been.

It’s almost time to go seek Jack and Bonesaw, and before that, they ask Grue if he’s okay, because, you know, he’s going to fight two incredibly lethal people, one of them being the girl that stapled him against a wall and disemboweled him. Anyone would be reluctant to go fight, but he doesn’t seem to be reluctant, he’s...he doesn’t know what he is, and he doesn’t want everyone to keep asking him.

The current plan is that there won’t be much of a plan. It won’t be too complicated, all they’ll do is attack with Sundancer, Ballistic and the bugs. Sundancer’s sun will be lethal while inside a shelter, that’s for sure. That’d be the best strategy possible...supposing they’re there. After the decoys Bonesaw made in the last arc, I’m not trusting any apparent death. Funny how things go, first I wasn’t trusting their death unless I read about their dead bodies from Skitter’s point of view, and now I’m not even trusting that.

“The two shelters are close to one another,” Tattletale said. “But I’m still a little worried they’ll leave one location while we’re checking out the other. I almost want to split up.”

“Is that worth the risk of having half our group caught off guard by the Nine before the other half can arrive?” I asked.

Thank you, Skitter, that’s precisely what I had thought! It’s just too risky. As you can see, there’s a looooot of leeway for the villains to escape and get away – something I’m pretty sure will happen. They’ll get away and reunite with the rest of the Slaughterhouse Nine, and then...a fight! I think! Maybe alongside all the heroes that are left!

Needless to say, failure will be bad, because that’ll just paint a bigger target on their backs, and the Slaughterhouse Nine will attack relentlessly and try to destroy them. Guess we know what’s happening during the next few arcs!

Saddle up! Onto battle! Everyone rides the dogs and Skitter gets on the beetle—oh what fresh hell is this.

“What if I scouted the library, while you guys checked out the other site? I can fly, it’s faster for me to get there.”

No. No no no. Nononono. Vetoed. Very vetoed. Extra-vetoed. Skitter, you don’t get to make this suggestion after you fight back against splitting the group. Splitting the group half and half to go check both places at once was a bad idea, splitting the group like eight-to-one is even worse. You better not!

Thankfully, nobody is enthused at all about Skitter’s plan, no matter how much she says she can sense him from a distance, and attack without exposing herself. Tattletale rightfully points out Jack is a long-range combatant. Just because of that, I’m convinced Skitter won’t be nearly as sneaky as she thinks she’ll be.

“But I have the ability to find him,” I pointed out. “Before he finds me. Amy gave me bugs that increase my range. I’ll be taking on some risk, but it means we’re able to check both locations at the same time and keep an eye out for the Nine. It’s the best way to strike the balance we need.”

Let’s suppose she manages to find them without being sensed or anything. I’m convinced Jack would know, and would get away. He’s not stupid, he knows what Skitter can do, and the moment he has a reason to think a bug is on him or is tracking him, he and Bonesaw will be gone. No, this can’t work. I have a lot of faith on Skitter, but I also have a lot of faith on Jack’s cleverness.

Offensively, you guys will have the Travelers and Bitch. I’ll have my bugs.

Despite her track record, that doesn’t sound nearly as impressive as she thinks it does.

“Bonesaw countered your bugs last time around,” Tattletale pointed out.

I nodded. “I have a few things in mind.”

Honestly, I’d feel so much better about this plan if she explained those things she has in mind. Otherwise I think it’s extremely risky and won’t work. Grue also expresses displeasure, Skitter tells him to give a better suggestion.

“We all go to the library’s shelter, then we all go to the shelter Leviathan attacked,” he said. “Safer, smarter.”

Yeah! That’s right! Say it again, Grue! That’s the way!

“If you’re worried about me being defenseless,” I suggested, “Regent could come with me.”

Somehow Skitter managed to hit a plan that sounds even worse! No, thank you. If anything happens to Regent, he may lose control of Shatterbird, and that’s the last thing anyone needs right now. Jack being a long-range attacker ruins a lot of plans, really. I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t hesitate to slash Shatterbird as soon as he saw her, anyway.

Tattletale looked back at the others, then back at me. “Go.”

I looked at Grue.

Tattletale pointed. “Go! Stay in contact!”

I turned and lifted off.

Oh man. She’s going. Curses! It has been so long since the last time I disagreed strongly with the characters’ decisions, yet here we are now. All I can hope right now is that the worst-case scenarios won’t happen.

On the way to the library shelter, Skitter thinks about how it feels to fly on this beetle. It’s not like her swarm at all, it’s like having a prosthetic limb. A prosthetic limb that flies, buzzes and also is a bug as wide as you. Somehow, the comparison is kind of accurate – it’s something you have to learn how to move properly, despite having an idea how it’s supposed to go. Matter of practice!

The relay bugs Panacea made for her aren’t going to last long, so Skitter tries to use them now, creating enough space between herself and the library there’s a chance Jack really won’t be able to kill her. I sure hope so!

Checking the shelter reveals...they’re not there. It’s closed. Okay then, that settles it. Nice. Before she can leave, something happens, and I’m glad about it because I really was wondering what was up with the Siberian! She’s here, still running away from Legend!

Had to be Siberian. If the general shape of the large object she was holding was any indication, she still held the truck.

And she’s still holding her real body! It’s kind of funny, the mental image of this fearsome, naked woman with black and white stripes, running around as fast as possible and holding a truck like it’s the most precious thing in the world. This is better than she attacking anyone, so by all means, keep doing that. It’s a really good thing Legend is following her, the moment she’s able to leave her real body in a safe place is the moment things get awry.

Something about what Legend was doing seemed odd. He wasn’t firing constantly. Rather, his shots seemed to be strategically placed. He ripped apart the side of a building a moment before Siberian landed there, then tore through the five or six floors beneath her so she had nowhere to go except straight down. The instant she stepped free of the building’s ground floor, he tore into the ground with a series of laser blasts that expanded outward, thinning as they went. It created a bowl-shaped indent, with rubble covering the storm drains that had been exposed by the lasers.

Given how hitting the Siberian with lasers would do absolutely nothing, and she’s extending the invincibility to the truck, there’s no point in firing constantly. Doing strategic shots to direct her to places, or corner her somewhere, would be a better choice. From what I read here it seems Legend is trying to lead her somewhere, no doubt to a place from where she wouldn’t be able to get through without some big risk. Kind of dangerous because if she’s cornered, then she may...I don’t know, try to run over Legend. It wouldn’t do much because I think he’s almost invincible too, but it’d still be a last-ditch move.

Ah, there’s Skitter acknowledging hitting the Siberian would be pointless.

He was conserving his strength. As much as both he and Siberian were powerhouses with more offensive capability than ninety-nine percent of people on the planet, this was a strategic battle. It was easily possible he was planning to keep this up for hours, harrying her, keeping her from getting her feet under her.

Personally, I think he’s trying to keep her running and fleeing until the other heroes come. It’ll be better to attack and apprehend – or even kill, if they feel like it – the Siberian’s real body if there are several heroes doing it. Heroes from the Protectorate, preferably. Until then, Legend can lead her around all he wants.

I felt like I was still missing something. Why was Legend fighting here, of all places? Whatever else was going on, they were causing pretty horrific property damage, and it had to be hard to fight Siberian in a place with this many high-rises. She could disappear into building interiors, and even if he lowered the height he was flying at, Legend was probably having to penetrate three or four stories of building to get to her.

I don’t think that’s his choice. I think that’s the Siberian’s choice. Despite his efforts, there’s no guarantee he’ll be successful in making her go whereever he wants. She’s bound to try to get away, and she sure won’t care about horrific property damage, and if he intends to catch her, then he can’t be deterred by horrific property damage either. That said, I’ll mourn the loss of the library if they get closer to it. Libraries are hallowed grounds, in my opinion.

I think Skitter forgot what she came here for. Let Legend deal with this, she and the rest of her friends have other things to worry about. She can trust Legend knows what he’s doing.

She fell into a trench as Legend leveled another series of blasts at her, and the movement of the truck coupled with Siberian’s power and its rough texture murdered a solid ninety-percent of the bugs I’d used. The remainder made their way deeper inside.

The bugs could scent something they registered as food. A heavy smell, fetid, like garbage. It was rank in there. They crawled through the air conditioning vents and into the truck’s interior.

The driver’s seat was empty. I sent the bugs into the back. Nothing.

Oh. Okay, then. Good thing Skitter stayed and meddled with this. That’s definitely something Legend should hear about. In that case, where could the Siberian’s real body be? With Jack and Bonesaw, perhaps? Did the three find each other and now are huddled in the shelter that has bad associations in Skitter’s memories? Better tell her teammates, which she does.

Someone’s sealed over this door with a heavy pad of metal, because Leviathan or someone tore it down. My gut’s telling me the Nine didn’t gather inside and weld it shut behind them, but I can’t ignore the possibility that Bonesaw’s spiders did it. One in twenty chance, I’d guess? We’ll know in about thirty seconds, after Sundancer burns through.

Doesn’t sound likely. Hm. If they’re not there either then...where could they have gone? Did they run away, far away, without getting anywhere? If that’s what happened, it’ll be really difficult to find them, even with Tattletale. There must be something I’m missing, because it’d feel strange they’d just run and do nothing else. Dang it, what am I not seeing...

Skitter keeps thinking something’s off with how Legend is dealing with the Siberian. I’m not sure if she’s right or not, but I guess if she feels something’s so off it’s necessary to ask for Tattletale’s counsel, then it may be true. Maybe. It depends on how correct Mr. Wildbow wants her protagonist to be. I’ll remember this.

“Legend’s holding back. Conserving his strength. I get that he’s trying to win a fight of attrition, but as far as I can tell, he hasn’t changed his tactics or the pacing of his attacks much since I informed him that the creator isn’t in the truck.”

“He’s buying time for something? Someone? Maybe Scion is headed this way? No. Don’t get that vibe. Hmm,” Tattletale mused.

Looks like she and I agree Legend’s buying time. I still think it’s so other Protectorate members arrive and help him deal with that incredibly powerful villain.

Once they manage to open the Bad Memories shelter, they find they’re not there. Your lucky day is today, Skitter, no bad memories! Then maybe they are at the library shelter? Tattletale and Skitter seem to think that’s a possibility, and Tattletale says they’re on her way, to perform hacking onto the vault door of that shelter, and go inside. You know, since Bonesaw has those spiders of hers, I would be surprised if she didn’t put a couple as sentries, so they know when someone approaches the vault door. The moment they step into the library they’ll know they’re here, I think. But hey, they can’t ignore this. Better get in.

“Legend does. We’re on our way. See you in a few.”

...are they planning to convince Legend to blow apart the shelter door? Okay then! Goodbye subtlety!

I drew more words in the air with my bugs, near Legend.

‘FOUND THE 9. UNDERGROUND SHELTER.’

As an afterthought, I added:

‘MAYBE CIVILIANS INSIDE.’

Way to make it sound like a certainty. True, Legend wouldn’t have helped if it had been merely a possibility, but if they’re not there, then Legend’s not helping the Undersiders ever again. Better hope they really are there.

Legend did read the message, and although he’s still chasing the Siberian, he’s directing her towards Skitter’s way. The Siberian abandons any pretense of using a decoy, she throws the truck onto Legend. I suppose that does mean the real body is in that shelter! Is she playing along and returning to the library so she can defend the real body and her two teammates? I think that’s what’s going on.

Once Legend gets to the place, he wastes no time, he obliterates the vault door, and it topples down. So how’s it going? Are they here? Are theeeeey?

First he fires a few hundreds of lasers around, some of them hitting Skitter. They’re warm and didn’t really do any damage to her. Perhaps they were meant to feel around, so he knows if they’re inside? Hm...Skitter’s bugs go to find out by herself anyway.

I could count a number of people, young and old. The mosquitoes in my swarm could scent blood. Twenty or so people were inside the shelter, standing there. There was metal on their bodies, like backpacks or prosthetic body parts, but they didn’t seem to be hurt.

There were three more inside, but I wasn’t feeling so generous as to call them ‘people’. They stood apart: two men and a preadolescent girl.

Oh, wow, they really are here! Skitter’s meager reputation with Legend is safe for now. I hope there wasn’t a swarm into that shelter, or else the Slaughterhouse Nine member will find out what’s going on – although I think the Siberian knows now Skitter is here.

Also, it’s the real body. If they didn’t know before about him, then they do now.

Since there are civilians, will Legend continue the PR custom of being the squeaky clean hero he’s supposed to be? If so, he can’t go and crush the Slaughterhouse Nine in front of them – even if he could. Hm. Maybe he should forgo that temporarily. Not that he has time to go crush anyone. The Siberian has him very busy.

No time to wait for the rest of the teams to arrive, Skitter decides to get into action. She gathers her primary swarm, including insects covered with good ol’ capsaicin, aiming for the eyes of her targets.

Jack reacted, as did the man, but Bonesaw was unfazed. I saw Siberian flicker. Legend noticed as well. He snapped his eyes to me, and then the shelter.

The creator needs to concentrate?

Guess he does. Also, kind of surprised Jack reacted. Not surprised Bonesaw didn’t, she must have turned off the pain, like she said she could do, but looks like neither Jack nor the Siberian’s real body have that ability.

Since she’s going against three ruthless killers, she doesn’t hold back, all of her insects try everything they can. Biting, pinching, everything, for maximum pain. Bonesaw is the only one calm and collected, but Skitter’s using silk strands to jam the prosthetic arms Mannequin gave her, Jack cutting them haphazardly, enough for her to move and make the anti-bug smoke.

Seeing that, Skitter used her bugs to relay tissues on fire towards the smoke. She’s trying to set it on fire! But it’s not flammable.

It had been too much to hope for, that the smoke was flammable. Even if the smoke had exploded in the mildest possible way, it would have at least given me a countermeasure.

...hm. I don’t know how large these shelters are, but I suppose they’re sizable enough. Still, smoke exploding, like she wanted? It could have hurt civilians. The heated air could have been enough to burn them! So that was a bit reckless, and I’m glad it failed. Creative, but reckless. At least now she know this won’t be an option.

Deciding not to put herself at risk, Skitter turns away from the area. Good, good. Now to leave Legend to do his thing. He dives into the shelter, Legend using lasers to try to hinder her way, barely deterring her. Once he gets in there, he fires lasers at the Slaughterhouse Nine, gets mobbed by civilians when he tries to get them out--

He grabbed one of the civilians that were standing dumbly in the shelter, only to get mobbed. She latched onto him, and the others did the same, trying to drag him down. My bugs felt a flash of heat as he used his laser to blast at them and free himself.

For a moment I thought he had blasted the civilians with lasers! I was about to comment this wasn’t going to help the PR at all. But no, he speared through the library, and flies out of there, presumably with all those civilians clinging to him. The urgency of his flight clues Skitter something’s going on, so she flies high too, and calls Tattletale to tell her to seek refuge.

The stealth bomber streaked across the sky, just as it had before. Its payload this time was smaller, barely visible.

Ah, maybe that’s what he was stalling for. He may have been looking for civilians, keeping the Siberian in one area, making sure nobody innocent would be on the way when those bombs were thrown. Are those Bakuda’s bombs?

They were! All kinds of dangerous effects are happening in there! Boy I hope it’s worth it and that it gets at least one of the Slaughterhouse Nine, or otherwise they wasted quite the weapon. The Siberian must have protected Jack and Bonesaw, yeah? Of those three, the guy that’s the Siberian’s real body is the one I expect to die.

While everything is exploding in chaos, Skitter approaches Legend, who actually thanks her. Skitter’s reputation has improved a little! So glad about that!

“Crawler and Mannequin observed to be in the blast site.”

Oh! Really? Okay, I imagine Mannequin may have been destroyed by the bombs, but I’m not convinced Crawler died. That guy has endured a lot before! If he was caught in the explosions, I hope it was by a bomb that stops time. That seems like the best way to affect him.

Clockblocker’s the one who made sure Mannequin would stay in the area – not through making him invincible via time powers, I hope – and Piggot convinced Crawler to stick around in the blast zone.

“She had Weld pass on a message, telling Crawler what we had planned. He was so tickled at the idea that we would be able to hurt him that he stayed where he was while the teams made their retreat.”

That’s impressive thinking. Piggot is competent! But if Crawler survives--

“If he survives-”

“He didn’t.”

Oh. Okay. Crawler died. And if he died, Mannequin must have died too. Mannequin I’m not too surprised, but Crawler? I thought it’d be more difficult than this. He died offscreen, pretty much. Kind of anticlimactic, for someone like him. Oh well. He’s dead and that’s what matters. No more Crawler!

Turns out he did blast the civilians away, and they’re most likely dead, which is a mercy, because Bonesaw was controlling them like puppets, in agonizing pain and completely aware they were being controlled. Bonesaw’s racking quite the impressive kill count in Brockton Bay, I think she’s the one who has been responsible for most civilian deaths, one way or another.

Legend and Skitter actually manage to talk in a civil manner, like they’re not on opposite sides of the parahuman spectrum. They observe the destruction, Skitter wondering if the city can resist everything that’s happening.

“Can Brockton Bay take this? It feels like it was on the verge of collapse already. Add this mess, the firebombing… can we really come back from it?”

Yes, it will! Because if it didn’t, then we wouldn’t have a setting for Worm, and this story can’t take place in the empty ruins of a city or in a black void. It’ll be fiiiine. Sooner or later. As long as there are no more bombings or mass destruction.

As expected, the three survived. The Siberian’s projection protected them. Oh well. It was worth a try. From where they are, they can’t see Legend or Skitter, chance Legend uses to fire and fry them – or at least the Siberian’s real body. Despite the distance, Legend can see tattoos on the back of the Siberian’s real hands.

The backs of his hands, perhaps you can make out the tattoos? A cauldron on the left hand, a swan on the right.

I’m not sure of the significance of the swan, but is Cauldron tacky enough to make their people have tattoos of cauldrons? It’s known he’s involved in some manner with Cauldron, yeah, but still...!

“A scholar.”

A scholar from Cauldron? Perhaps a scientist that worked there and developed a formula that gave him the Siberian’s powers? Hm.

The teams are on their way, both Legend’s hero friends and Skitter’s villainous friends. Skitter intended to inform them of these developments, but Legend says they have to back off, because it’s time for the worst case scenario.

“We’re winning,” I said, incredulous. “You guys took out two of them, we’ve got them on the defensive-”

“Exactly,” he interrupted me. “We’re winning. And we’ve broken enough of Jack’s rules for his ‘game’. Now I fear we’re about to see whatever ‘punishment’ it was that Bonesaw prepared for us.”

Oh.

Well, he’s right. There are five Slaughterhouse Nine members left alive: Jack, Bonesaw, the Siberian, Shatterbird, and Cherish. Of these, only the first three are alive and intact. From eight they went down to three. Jack may like playing around and all, but they’re getting their collective asses kicked. Time to counter and see if he can turn the tables around?

But that’s for next time.

Next time: in seven updates

#worm #worm liveblog #webserial #webserial liveblog #liveblog

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sunyoonandstars · 7 years

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BTS Scenario 1.3.: Them being too busy with work to make time for you (while you are having a hard time)

I know, I’m probably a little late to this. But I just stumbled upon the whole ‘Kick J-Hope out’-issue that arose back in 2014 and couldn’t believe what I read. The hateful comments so-called fans left, including a hashtag demanding of BTS to kick out J-Hope (among other members such as Jin and Jimin) for being ‘fat’, ‘ugly’, ‘lacking talent’ and whatnot literally made me cry. Not only because I couldn’t stand the thought of our sunshine being hurt and discouraged like that, but because I was once again shocked that actual humans could do something like that to one another, bullying an innocent person they don’t even know, cowardly hiding behind their laptop screens, having no idea how big of an impact their cruel words could and would have on the other persons mind and life …

Things like that have to stop!!!

And - at least I believe that to be true - Hoseok is deep down a very insecure person, who is always trying to do his best, to improve for the sake of himself, the fans and the members, and always be the hope and the bright sunshine, everyone needs him to be, sometimes probably putting on an act and forcing himself to smile even though he is having a hard time himself. And I know from experience that the tough / sunshine act can be incredibly strenuous, so I deeply respect him for his strength and attitude. J-Hope doesn’t deserve such hatred. Nobody does.

So, to give our sunshine and his stans the love they so much deserve, here comes a scenario for you! Enjoy! Fighting!

(By the way, I previously posted a similar scenario for Jin and Suga, check them out if you like!)

The Scenario

They’re busy with work, and don’t seem to be able to make time for you, so you keep dropping by. Because you also have a very demanding schedule and only ever get a few days off a week / month, so you desperately want to spend your valuable free time spend with your love …

angst, fluff, hurt/comfort

3. J-Hope / Hoseok

Officially starting to date and commit to Hoseok was the best decision of your life. Or so you thought at first. Of course, he was one of the most caring, endearing, positive, sweet and strong people you knew, and he tried his best to shower you in affection and make you smile whenever he got the chance. But lately, those chances seemed to make themselves scarce, and increasingly so. Hoseok had received thousands upon thousands of mean and hurtful comments on social media throughout the last months after falling on stage at a performance on live TV and practically ruining the show, at least in the eyes of countless so-called ‚fans‘. Though the members had handled the situation with grace and tried to shrug it off jokingly later on in an interview, Hoseok took the criticism and hate he received pretty hard and has been practicing relentlessly ever since. You couldn’t take them anymore, those disrespectful people trampling about on his heart, the hundreds mean comments and memes roaming around the worldwide web, solely created in order to make fun of your love, calling him a a club-footed horse, to name only one of the offending nicknames heartless haters had assigned to him. They had no idea what they were doing to him, and it broke your heart to see your hopeful sunshine so distraught and discouraged. You tried your best to support him in any way possible, but couldn’t help but feel helpless, watching him dance to exhaustion each and every day. Whenever he thought you or the members didn’t look, you could witness his precious smile fade and fall. Something you could under no circumstances allow to happen, just standing idly by. So you dropped by the studio every day after university without exception, even if you were sick or tired, bringing by healthy snacks and bandages for Hoseoks maltreated limbs, trying to get him to eat and take a short break now and then. He mostly refused. „No, thanks, honey. I know you mean well, but I have to get this right, I have to improve, to become the dancer and artist my fans deserve. And that won’t happen by taking breaks.“ You knew, disagreeing with him on this wouldn’t lead anywhere, so you merely ruffled his sweaty hair, giving him an encouraging smile. „Alright. Fighting!“, you cheered him on, making a cute gesture, actually managing to educe a loving smile from him before he turned the music back on and concentrating on practicing the choreography again, you watching him all the while, seated in one corner of the dance room, amazed at his beautiful body and what it was capable of. Hours went by and you finally decided to turn in for the night, almost having fallen asleep on the studio floor. Hoseok didn’t even notice you leaving, still completely absorbed by his dancing, even though it was already long past midnight. Already at the door, you looked back at him one last time, tears starting to fill up your eyes, desperately hoping he would at least get some sleep tonight. You left the food you had brought on the threshold, a sticky note attached to it, saying:

I love you, Hobi! Don’t overwork yourself! Your life & body are very precious to me! Remember to EAT & SLEEP! Your body needs fuel! You won’t make any of your fans happy by dying of exhaustion… -.- - Much love, your biggest fan! Don’t ever forget how amazing you are

You had ended it with a number of hearts you had quickly scribbled onto the pastel pink paper. As you turned to go you wished your little message would make Hoseok smile before going to a hopefully peaceful sleep. On your way home you fell asleep in the bus, incredibly tired after a long and strenuous day at the university and library, having spent your last remaining energy on supporting Hoseok. The bus driver woke you politely when you had reached the final stop, informing you that there would be no more buses departing from this stop tonight. Confused and still half asleep you blinked against the bright streetlights, now out in the cold, some place you’d never been before, not being able to recognize anything in your surroundings, having no idea how you would get home from here. You tried to make out a close by street sign in order to pinpoint your location, however it was far too dark and you weren’t able to spot one, so you decided to wander around the deserted streets. You took out your phone, planning on using a navigation app to find your way home somehow, only to discover that your battery was running dangerously low. „Shit!“, you cursed, your voice echoing unnaturally loud in the dark of the night. You felt a shiver run down your spine, not only because of the cold but rather because you can’t help but picture horrible scenarios of danger and violence, a mysterious stranger creeping up to you in the darkness, not a soul around to come to your rescue, however loud you would scream for help. No, this was not some thriller. You were just an ordinary girl, walking through an ordinary street on an ordinary Friday night. Nothing would happen to you, of that you were sure. You just had to keep on walking at your regular hurried pace, not letting strangers see how desperately lost you really were, fighting back the tears of anger, fear and fatigue. Angry. Yes, you were angry. At yourself, for being so stupid. How could you have fallen asleep in a freaking night bus!? You were better than that! Stronger than that! After all, your strength and positivity were two of the things Hoseok loved most about you, and you had to stay strong, no matter what, not only for yourself but for him, too, in his time of hardship. Only now you realized how big a toll Hoseoks situation had taken on you, as well, to which extent you had neglected your own health and happiness over the last few months to be there for him, and how much energy it had cost you. And suddenly, you just couldn’t carry on anymore. Couldn’t be strong anymore. Having wandered around this strange and desolated part of town for over an hour already, you ultimately broke down, plummeting to the pavement, grateful for the stinging pain in your knees, which finally allowed your tears to fall. For countless minutes you just sat there in the middle of the street, weeping freely, shaking in the cold breeze. Only your phone vibrating in the pocket of your sheer jacket brought you back to your senses. When you took it out, the screen showed Hoseoks face, flashing the sweet smile you loved so much, brightly gleaming in the darkness. He was calling you, at half past two in the morning. You quickly looked up to the starless night sky, praying that nothing bad had happened to him. You cleared your throat, swallowing the remaining tears, so he wouldn’t hear them in your voice, before you eventually answered the call. „Y/n, where on earth are you?“ He sounded decidedly worried, his voice growing into a high pitch as he kept on speaking. „I came by your place after practice, hoping you were still awake, because I felt so bad about letting you leave like that. I found your note, so sweet, honey! But when I let myself in your flat was empty. It looked like you hadn’t been home tonight. Where are you?“ „Hobi, I’m lost! I fell asleep in the bus, they threw me out at the final stop and I don’t know where I am! I’ve never been to this part of town, and it’s so dark and cold. I have no idea how to get home!“ You couldn’t help it, contrary to your intention bursting into tears again at the sound of Hoseoks soft and familiar voice. „Please, honey, don’t cry! It’s gonna be okay!“ „I’m really scared, Hobi …“, you reluctantly admitted. „Of course, you are! Wandering around in the middle of the night all by yourself is incredibly dangerous! I can’t — My heart can’t take this! I don’t even dare to imagine what could happen to you!“ You could hear him inhaling deeply over the phone. „Now, do you have no idea at all where you are? What line was the bus you took?“ You closed your eyes, trying hard to remember. „It was definitely the blue line, that’s all I can recall…“ „Okay, y/n, just stay were you are and try to keep out of harms way! Avoid strangers and dark alleys! I’m coming for you! Do you hear me? I’m coming for you!“ „No, Hobi, you must be so tired. You have to get rest! You have a concert in a few days!“ Your phone beeped repeatedly, reminding you of its low state of battery charge. „What is that sound, honey?“ „It’s the battery. My phone is about to die. I —“ „Don’t worry, honey. Let’s just end the call now to save some battery. I’ll locate you through the app, try to keep your phone running for as long as possible! Disable any applications you don’t need at the moment. And remember, y/n, it’s gonna be okay. I’m coming for you, okay? I promise! I’m coming your you! See you soon!“ He hung up before you even got a chance to reply, and you instantly missed the sound of his voice, having allowed you to forget about the lonely cold and the frightening darkness for a few precious moments. You couldn’t help but feel proud of Hoseok for handling such a terrifying situation comparatively calmly, overcoming his fearful nature to venture into the night in order to come to your rescue, not even thinking for one second about himself. Promptly, you felt an intense warmth growing around your heart, being reminded of his love for you and the reason both of you kept fighting so hard for this relationship to work. After a few more minutes, your phone eventually died, leaving you cut off from Hoseok and the rest of the world. But knowing that he was coming for you and not doubting him for a second, you stood your ground with certainty, shivering in the cold, embracing yourself to preserve as much body heat as possible. Hobi is coming for me, you kept reminding yourself, having trouble staying awake by now. Hobi is coming for me, I just have to hold out for a few more minutes. A jolt went through your limbs, shaking you out of your sleep, as you felt your body being lifted up from the cold ground. „Shh, it’s okay, honey, I’m here now“, you heard an all too familiar voice whispering into your hair, leaving no time for you to panic. „Hobi“, you murmured, weak and still half asleep, your voice muffled by the soft fabric of his shirt. „You really came.“ „Of course, I came, y/n. I promised, don’t you remember?“ You could feel something heavy on your shoulders, and figured that he had wrapped you in his coat before he’d lifted you up to carry you in his slender but strong arms. But he must be so tired, you kept thinking to yourself, trying to free yourself from his embrace and get back to your feet. However, he didn’t let you, holding on to you tightly. „Hobi, please, put me down. I’m awake now, I can walk by myself. You must be exhausted after practicing yourself half to death, not having eaten all day. I can’t even bear the thought of robbing you of your last strength. I’m fine, really. Put me down.“ He paused, holding you away from his body in order to sneak a look at your face, smiling one of his bright, hopeful smiles. You couldn’t believe he still had the energy left to pull off one of those. This man was a marvel. „Y/n, I would do anything for you, you know that, right? And I realized that I didn’t appreciate the efforts you made over the past few months. I was so focused on my work, I didn’t even realize that you were the only thing that kept me going. Your smiles and your daily visits gave me the strength to go on. So, now, please let me repay you, hmm? Or I’ll tickle you senseless right here and now.“ You couldn’t help but laugh at the image. Yes, his tickles were indeed powerful. „Okay, if it makes you happy“, you agreed reluctantly, smiling up at him. „But don’t overdo it.“ „Don’t worry, the taxi is parked right around the corner.“ So you leaned back into him, burying your face in his chest, soaking up his comforting scent, until you put you in the back seat of the taxi, seating himself next to you, gesturing you to lean against him. Gladly you rested your head on his shoulder, gradually going back to sleep. You woke up in your shared bed to Hoseok kissing your cheek repeatedly. „Good morning, sleeping beauty“, he greeted you, as you slowly opened your eyes, extending one hand to ruffle his fuzzy bed hair, at which he smiled, turning his head to quickly for you to react, placing a soft kiss in the palm of your hand. „I tried to make breakfast“, he announced with pride, smiling widely. „However, I failed miserably. So I cheated and called Jin over to help me out.“ You couldn’t help but laugh at that, still sleepy, Hoseok joining you immediately. „So, come on, wakey wakey!“ You pulled a pillow over your head, not yet ready to leave the warm comfort of bed. „Don’t be a party pooper, y/n! Get up! It’s PANCAKE TIME!“, he declared, beginning to tickle you until you finally burst into laughter and fought back, the two of you now involved in a raging tickle war, until you rolled out of bed, falling to the ground and onto each other, laughing even harder. „Okay, okay! I give up! Bring on the pancakes!“, you sighed, still out of bed, raising your hands in playful resignation. Hoseok got up first and extended a helpful hand to you, effortlessly tasing you to your feet, capturing you in a tight hug. Suddenly, he let go of you, bringing some distance between the two of you so he could meet your gaze. The look in his eyes was caring and warm, his soft features caught in an affectionate smile. „What is it?“, you asked, feeling your cheeks blush. „I just love you so much, for everything you are and do for me. You can’t even imagine how much you mean to me. I have never met someone as warm and caring as you.“ „I have“, you replied. „You.“ „Aww, you’re too sweet to handle“, he giggles, blushing himself now. „But now, let’s have those pancakes. I even asked Jin to put in some chocolate chips.“ „Chocolate chip pancakes? They’re my favorite!“ „I know“, he replied, grinning happily, lifting you up on his hips to give you a piggyback ride to the kitchen, repeatedly spinning around on you way there, letting butterflies dance in your stomach and making you laugh out loud in excitement. When you reached your destination he carefully put you down, placing a breathless kiss on your lips. „This is so much fun, y/n. Everything is with you, really. I can’t believe I missed out on this, on you, because of some idiotic fan rant. I’m so glad and crazy grateful you went through this with me and never left my side. I won’t ever forget that. I love you, my hope.“

*************************

Hope you liked it and it did out Hope justice!

Thanks for reading! Take care! 💜

Here you can find my Masterlist if you feel like checking out more of my BTS fiction!

All GIFs used are NOT mine. Credit goes to the initial creators. Thank you for your hard work and dedication.

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lilbreck · 7 years

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AGoT Chapters 19 - 23

I know, it’s been a hot minute. But I’m reading again. Feel free to discuss anything with me if you agree or disagree, either way.

If you want to follow along, I'm tagging my ASoIaF reading as tonya rereads asoiaf.

Chapter 19: Jon II

I like how this establishes right away that Jon is excellent with a sword. I don’t remember if Jon keeps being this closed off an entitled or not. However, he seems to look down on everyone around him which might explain why they all quickly picked up on the “Lord Snow” bit and don’t hang out with him.

The more time he spent with them, the more Jon despised them.

Yeah, that feeling seems to be very much mutual here. However, I do like that we get another layer to it; that we see a hint that all this isolation and such is to cover how much he hates that no one told him what it would really be like and how abandoned he feels. Of course, would he have believed them? It’s hard to tell, though the fact that he quickly adapts to the truth that Tyrion gave him says he probably would.

Honestly… I kinda get why they have to almost brainwash people into abandoning all they knew before, but it seems so cruel and vicious. I have a lot of feelings on how Jon needed this experience, though. He needed to see that, though he was a bastard, he is spoiled and privileged. Everyone talk about how mean various characters must have been to Jon growing up, but he had it fucking easy for a bastard.

“They’re not my brothers,” Jon snapped. “They hate me because I’m better than they are.”

“No. They hate you because you act like you’re better than they are. They look at you and see a castle-bred bastard who thinks he’s a lordling.” The armorer leaned close. “You’re no lordling. Remember that. You’re a Snow, not a Stark. You’re a bastard and a bully.”

This right here. People talk about how [certain other Starks] are bullies, but Jon is a bully when he gets to the wall. He takes out all his anger, resentment, and frustration on those around him. As much as I detest bullies, I like this Jon better than the saint!Jon envisioned by some of fandom.

Also, as much as I detest Tyrion, I am grateful for the advise he gives Jon in this chapter. Also, I love that it’s not really the realization that he’s been a bully or Tyrion’s advise that changes how in interacts with the others on the Night Watch, it’s knowing Bran woke up. That really speaks, in my opinion, to the connection the Stark children share. Of course, you know, not everyone appreciates that people are laughing with Jon and not at him here, but… it is what it is.

Chapter 20: Eddard IV

Honestly, I find Ned’s chapters so fucking boring. This did jump out to me, though:

What was it that Jon had said when they found the pups in the snow? Your children were meant to have these pups, my lord. And he had killed Sansa’s, and for what? Was it guilt he was feeling? Or fear? If the gods had sent these wolves, what folly had he done?

Also, Ned and Cat trust Petyr way too much. Especially Cat with how he ambushed her when she landed and was all up in her business. Honestly, I have little patience with the older set in these books. Does it show? Of course, me saying that now could have everything to do with me knowing how it ends up for them. Knowing what’s coming is a pain in the ass sometimes.

“My lady,” he said, turning to Catelyn, “there is nothing more you can do here. I want you to return to Winterfell at once. If there was one assassin, there could be others. Whoever ordered Bran’s death will learn soon enough that the boy still lives.”

Right here and there, knowing what they knew, Ned should have sent the girls back with his wife. Full stop. I swear, I can find a way to blame at least half of this book’s foolishness on how Ned and Cat coddled and then failed to protect their children. It may not all be fair, but I can still find a way. And he’s even talking about preparing for war! He should have snuck those girls out and sent them off with their mother.

Chapter 21: Tyrion III

There’s really not a lot to say about this chapter. I like Tyrion better in this one, probably because he isn’t talking about wanting to burn his family alive and assuming Jon felt the same. I also like that we got a glimpse of Jon getting along better with some of the other brothers. They’re just all really fucked because people put their unwanted up on the wall and forget all about the place and people there. Poor fucking Mormont.

So far, I like Tyrion’s chapter’s slightly more than Ned’s, but that’s not really a high bar.

Chapter 22: Arya II

Arya’s breaking my heart here.

Arya hated it. She hated the sounds of their voices now, the way they laughed, the stories they told. They’d been her friends, she’d felt safe around them, but now she knew that was a lie. They’d let the queen kill Lady, that was horrible enough, but then the Hound found Mycah. Jeyne Poole had told Arya that he’d cut him up in so many pieces that they’d given him back to the butcher in a bag, and at first the poor man had thought it was a pig they’d slaughtered. And no one had raised a voice or drawn a blade or anything, not Harwin who always talked so bold, or Alyn who was going to be a knight, or Jory who was captain of the guard. Not even her father.

I think this really shows what the South has to teach Arya. She had been coddled up North. There was a level of justice there that didn’t exist elsewhere (though may have only really existed at Winterfell, it’s hard to tell). It’s why she felt free to attack Joffrey. He was in the wrong and, in her eyes, it didn’t matter that he was a prince. In the South, of course, only the royal family’s justice matters. It’s why no one raised a hand to stop Lady or Mycah’s death.

What I do notice in Arya here, that seems to be missing in her father, is the ability to see the fault in those she loves. Ned still can’t bring himself to believe that his friend isn’t the man he’d like to believe he is. Arya even says here that even her father didn’t bother to speak out against it. Though, I notice that she says it’s the queen that killed Lady. While, yes, Cersei is why Lady was killed, Arya doesn’t seem quite ready to admit that her father played his part in Lady’s death. I just wish she could realize that, yes she may have had a hand in the events that lead to Lady and Mycah’s death, that the fault ultimately lays at the feet of the royal family and Sandor.

It’s my belief that, by the end of the series, Arya won’t be queen of the 7k or North, as some believe, but that she will be the one who reforms the justice system. Takes it out of the sole hands of the ruler, maybe. She’s beginning to see here that people just go along with what the king says, no matter how cruel, and that the smallfolk suffer. Granted, I think she’s got a long way to go (she’ll take a detour into vengeance city, but she’ll head back to justice after), but you can see where the spark of what I believe her endgame is gets started.

Honestly, I think at least half the problems between Arya and Sansa (aside from just normal sister issues when the sisters are so different) are because of the damn Septa. And, yes, part of me rages that Ned and Cat are trying to force Arya into a role she doesn’t want.

“I do not mean to frighten you, but neither will I lie to you. We have come to a dark dangerous place, child. This is not Winterfell. We have enemies who mean us ill. We cannot fight a war among ourselves. This willfulness of yours, the running off, the angry words, the disobedience … at home, these were only the summer games of a child. Here and now, with winter soon upon us, that is a different matter. It is time to begin growing up.”

Hey, Ned? Couple things I want to talk about. First, this isn’t your only daughter, you really should be having this talk with both of them. Second, you should have had this fucking talk back before Robert and the Lannisters assholes showed up in Winterfell. You fell down on the job, and now your fuck ups have a damn body count. Also, it’s about damn time that you noticed your younger daughter was willful and would probably be more inclined to learn all the shit you have the Septa shoving down her throat if you also allowed her to learn to fight like you do in this chapter.

It was the third time he had called her “boy.” “I’m a girl,” Arya objected.

“Boy, girl,” Syrio Forel said. “You are a sword, that is all.”

I can’t tell if this (him repeatedly calling her a boy and then a sword) is just coincidence, or if it’s a bit of foreshadowing of what she’ll have to go through, how she’ll have to nearly lose her identity. If not, it’s a nice little bit. I wonder if it was Ned’s deliberate choice to get her a teacher to show her a form of fighting better suited to her size and probably over-all body strength? If so, he’s earned some points back from me.

Chapter 23: Daenerys III

You know, reading this… Drogo’s definitely in line for the Vlad treatment. I just find it kind of odd that GRRM would write him being so considerate and very aware of her consent and waiting for it on their wedding night, and yet this:

Yet every night, some time before the dawn, Drogo would come to her tent and wake her in the dark, to ride her as relentlessly as he rode his stallion. He always took her from behind, Dothraki fashion, for which Dany was grateful; that way her lord husband could not see the tears that wet her face, and she could use her pillow to muffle her cries of pain.

I’m sure at least half the pain is from her saddle sores, but the other half is probably from her fuckboi husband riding her like a horse. What was GRRM thinking? I suppose we’re supposed to take comfort in the fact that she eventually finds pleasure in the sex during their trip, but… no. I can’t take comfort in that. She’s 14, he’s 30. And not a slight 30 either. He’s a large and brutal 30 and she’s a slight and delicate 14. Yeah, I’m going to have to mentally age up these younger characters to get through this.

Yet when she slept that night, she dreamt the dragon dream again. Viserys was not in it this time. There was only her and the dragon. Its scales were black as night, wet and slick with blood. Her blood, Dany sensed. Its eyes were pools of molten magma, and when it opened its mouth, the flame came roaring out in a hot jet. She could hear it singing to her. She opened her arms to the fire, embraced it, let it swallow her whole, let it cleanse her and temper her and scour her clean. She could feel her flesh sear and blacken and slough away, could feel her blood boil and turn to steam, and yet there was no pain. She felt strong and new and fierce.

As much as I talked about Arya’s recent chapter showing where I thought she would end up, this dream right here pretty much spells it out. It shows her embracing what it means to be a dragon, being “purified” by it (pure doesn’t always mean good and kind) and then after that she heals rather quickly. The dragon egg that Drogon will probably hatch from (IIRC) is the one she reaches out to feel, and it’s Drogon (as a representation of herself, or as itself) that is in her dream. I think right from her third chapter we get a hint that she’s never going to be a queen in peace. She’ll have at least one opportunity, but she ends up turning away from it, and I think that will be her last opportunity. She’s going to go full dragon, and I can’t wait to read from her POV as she does. It won’t be pretty, but it’s bound to be interesting.

You know, I love that Daenerys took away the power her brother had over her. She saw him for what he was and, in part due to her new status but also, I believe, in part due to the dragon dream, was able to let go of her fear of him. I admit, I cheered. When Jorah backs her and tells her the straight truth that the people aren’t begging for their return and she listens and understands the truth of what he says, it almost makes you have hope for her. There are parts of her that could be a good queen who reigns in peace. Her story wouldn’t be an interesting struggle if there weren’t.

I do like how her healing, taking away her brother’s power over her, and taking control of her sex life all tie in together. She’s taking control, and I do think it has a lot to do with embracing the dragon dream, even though she may not realize what the means. I was wrong before, she doesn’t turn 14 until the end of this chapter. And she’s pregnant. I can’t help but think what would have been if Robert hadn’t tried to have her killed. Would she have lived her life out with Drogo and however many children they had, and would the eggs have gone unhatched?

#asoiaf #asoiaf:agot #tonya reads books #tonya rereads asoiaf #questionable parenting skills in asoiaf

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dasspacegoat · 7 years

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It’s nights like these when I need to be reminded of who I am and where I came from. Somewhere inside of me, there’s hope, like a child whose bully decided to play with them one day. He went to school on the next day, waiting for him to approach, for them to play together.. again. But he never came back to play. The truth is, we never played well together, and it’s not my fault.

From the very beginning, he tells me, “all of my exes are crazy”. I remember my first reaction was to want to hear both sides. Every story has two sides.. and I decided to ignore my better judgment and trust him regardless of this clear indication of someone who is unable to see the plank in their eye. I remember finding his overgenralization and avoidance endearing of all things! I saw the he was playing victim and was asking for my sympathy and I chose to give it to him, hoping that in time, he would grow and learn to give an honest assessment of his past and take ownership for his shortcomings. I actually believed that if I loved him enough, he would see how much better he could be, and that was my mistake. I chose to ignore the value of putting effort into real-time communication, authenticity, and self evaluation, as well as partner evaluation, to see if there is compatibility beyond his physical attraction to me and my desire to love broken people. I ignored this warning sign and set myself up for more “crazy” in the end.

I viewed his insecurity about me hanging out with my friends as endearing as well. I actually found it flattering to think that someone wanted me all to themselves so much that they couldn’t contain their fears in the presence of my friends. I made a point to let him know when I hung out with my friends until I felt like he understood my routine and socialization schedule.. big mistake. After being accused of cheating for half of the relationship, I wish he had the mental capacity to comprehend that if I was going to cheat, I wouldn’t tell him who I’m with.

Kind of like how he didn’t tell me who he was with all those times he was “working late” but was actually picking up one of his old flings. I’d expect anyone I’m dating to comprehend this dynamic and I hold myself personally responsible for not sticking to my principles and ending it as soon as his IQ became apparent.

RED FLAG: I of all people should not have ignored the age gap. He was the youngest person I’d ever been with and every girl he had been with was younger than him. A chunk of his friends turned out to still be in high school, including the fling he snuck around to spend time with. Again, I chose to view this all as endearing and warned him to be careful because of statutory rape laws.

The reality: this was a red sign that we were at conflicting stages in our lives and our maturity levels. If he can connect with a girl in high school, how the fuck could I expect him to connect with me? I expect equal caliber or better.

And then there was the sex. Never in my life have I met someone who made nearly as big of a deal about it. From the very beginning, he got upset with me for calling it “fucking” and wanted to make it clear to me that we were “making love”. We had been hanging out for only two weeks when he decides to pop the “what are we?” question, during sex. It was like he wanted to build our relationship on sex. I can’t count how many times he came over or had me come over just to “make love” and then leave.

He also had a thing for squirting and talked down to me for not being able to do it like his exes. He implied several times that my orgasms were weak and sure enough, he slowly started spending more time going home early to masturbate and less time actually hanging out with me. Not to mention he was so secretive about porn and masturbation. I offered to watch porn with him so many times and he would try to kink shame me and tell me that nobody watches porn with their significant other. He got his friends to support him by twisting the story to say that I wasn’t okay with him watching it in the first place. I was definitely the one in the relationship that was more sex positive and he fought me as if I wasn’t. It was maddening.

I’m so much more accepting and open than he ever was, I can’t imagine what he could have been trying to hide from me.

Everything was my fault, nothing was his fault. He was always right and I was always wrong. There was the sex stuff. If the sex wasn’t great one time, my fault. If I couldn’t get wet, my fault. Nevermind more foreplay, changing positions, or taking breaks. Nope, my fault. He never had these problems with his ex and definitely wouldn’t have these problems if he just masturbated. I’m a worthless bitch. Traffic’s bad? He’d yell at me. I was worthless, as were my opinions. I suggest don’t push your transmission so hard, it’s getting enough wear and tear with two delivery jobs. He’d tell me I was an idiot who didn’t know how to drive and continued to drive his little stock 4banger like it’s a racecar and sure enough, his transmission craps out. All my fault for not being able to tell that that’s what was happening by the sounds his car was making.

Whether it was a big thing or a little thing, my fault, I was wrong.

One of the first things that caught my attention about him was his apparent interest in reading research journals. After dating him for a little while, I realized he’d just read all this ridiculous shit online and got all these crazy and incorrect ideas from it. I’d disagree with one of his statements and not only was I wrong but oooooooh would that set him off, which brings us to…

The temper! Holy shit. The littlest things set him off. And I mean SET HIM OFF. I remember walking into a restaurant once and it was pretty crowded. We were meeting with some friends later and running short on time. There were no seats and a 45 minute wait. I suggested waiting until a couple people left, going somewhere else to eat, or just waiting to eat afterwards and maybe grabbing a snack to tide us over while we were with his friends. Oh boy was I wrong and those were stupid ideas. He paced around the bar, infuriated, swearing and shouting, looking for empty seats. I was mortified. He grabbed my arm and we left. All over not being able to grab some food before hanging out with friends who would probably like to go eat later anyway. Even smaller things set him off, like dropping a fucking potato chip on the floor would be followed by him throwing a tantrum and shouting. I’m pretty sure I lost some of my hearing from his road rage. He’d get so mad over the littlest things and if something big happened….fuck.

Needless to say, his anger made it impossible for him to be there for me when I went through some shit. To put it plainly, he yelled at me while I was in the hospital because I called him out on sneaking around with his old fling while I was away. He denied all of it, screamed at me until I was shaking and in tears, and then hung up. Oh and this was on Christmas Eve. I’d like to point out that I later found out that she was with him that night and that they had made plans for her to spend the night in our apartment.

He took jokes too far. Again, this was one of those constant things. It’s one thing to tease people about things, but there are just lines you don’t cross unless you’re being abusive. I understood his insecurity so well because I was insecure too (my own fault), but he’d tease me about stuff relentlessly and would get to saying actual mean things instead of funny, teasing things. I have a great sense of humor and can take a joke. Though insecure, I have a thick skin. I speak fluent sarcasm and smart-assery. He took it like 50 times too far, daily. That and shit talking strangers. He went as far as to imply that I enjoyed the sexual abuse I endured as a child, in front of his family and a bunch of people at a bar. It wasn’t that he lacked social filters, it was that he chose to ignore them because he found it funny. He’d openly admit he was mean, and said he enjoyed it.

I could never have a day to myself or with my friends without him holding it against me down the line. The first time I asked to have the day to myself, one of my male friends stopped by to pick up something. He never let me live that one down and swears that’s when things went downhill for us because I was “probably cheating.” I don’t recall a single time when I hung out with my friends without a negative repercussion. He made it very clear that he thought all of my friends were stupid, vapid and worthless, while obsessed about his look and being overly-concerned about how I felt about the looks of other people, including my friends. Go figure, these are the same friends he desperately tried to pick up, using the same lines he used on me about going on an adventure and building a sheet fort.

Spoiler Alert: he doesn’t know how to build a sheet fort and would rather have sex, complain about your body and either spew bullshit that he read online or talk shit about other people.

Something important to talk about? Text only. Yeah. And it wasn’t because he expressed himself better via writing than orally. No, he just didn’t want to see me cry or be upset by something he’d say. It was so he didn’t have to deal with any consequences. Thankfully and regrettably I had my family and friends around to pick up the pieces after our conversations. Some things are better said in person, but he never had the decency to do this. I at first assumed that he just felt more comfortable talking this way because he was a bit of an introvert. So when I needed to tell him about my pregnancy via text… shit, that was the wrong thing to do because “why the fuck would you tell me something like this over text???” Yeah, double standards.

This motherfucker had god-awful communication skills.

I had a hard time understanding the way he complimented me. He spent the first 4 months complimenting me non-stop. I appreciated it but at the same time, none of the compliments actually fit me as a person. It was almost as if he was just reading a script of things you could say to flatter a girl but not a particular individual. He ultimately tried using those same compliments to woo my friends. I felt so bad for being suspicious of his authenticity but now I know my instincts were right.

I could think of a thousand more red flags but this is long enough. A lot of them are huge in retrospect but at the time, they were so subtle and happened so slowly. They were little things that piled up. These sorts of little things could have been cleared up with communication, which he sorely lacked. I asked him why he invited his fling to spend the night when I was in hospice and he took offense and said I was accusing him of stuff. A normal person would say “I’m not ready to share that information with you because I’m afraid that you won’t allow me to see her again or other xyz reason. I’ll check back in with you in 1-2 months when I’ve found the best way to communicate this to you.” Not him, no honesty or accountability, providing no way to successfully plan for the future, and no regard for my feelings or my well-being. It all seems so glaringly obvious now, but he was very manipulative and would have me question my feelings of uncertainty when things didn’t add up. He would rather I feel guilty and ashamed about my suspicions; doubting my instincts, than be forthcoming.

I am guilty of ignoring these signs and continuing to fight for him when he had checked out of the relationship long ago. I am responsible for the collateral damage to my ability to trust myself but I will no longer hate myself for trying because I fell in love with this boy who had yet to be at peace with his body, his mind, his weaknesses. I tried to build him, to find the parts of him that are missing in me. I ended up with a hole in my chest and a deeper understanding of my limits and who I am.

If being with someone leads you to disregard your feelings, ideas and experience.. disregard that person. Your instincts exist to protect you. Anyone who discredits them is an enemy.

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