#and this experience has been showing me that they're spread out everywhere they feel like being for no reason

[front-facing-pokemon]

[animehouse-moe]

Chainsaw Man Chapter 141: Normal Life Plus

Phew, been a minute since I posted last. Been really sick which has sucked, but I'm not about to let it stop me from talking about the latest Chainsaw Man chapter, no sir. A chapter that largely reflects on Denji's life, how far he's come, what continues to tie him down, and where he wants to be. There's a lot to chat about in how Denji's daily life is displayed, and more than a few words to be had about the ending of the chapter.

Right away, Fujimoto starts with a mockery of Chainsaw Man. His branded foodstuffs depreciating in value, the posters plastered everywhere of him being replaced with (presumably) Asa. Right from the get go, they continue to break Denji down, to test his will. Even the excitement he gets from seeing a devil in front of him is taken away by devil hunters. Everything that he had as Chainsaw Man has been taking away from him so that Denji can have what he wants.

The following spread shows Denji's daily life, but something about it rings hollow. How he stares off into space, how so many of these moments are combinations of his experiences with Power, Aki, and even Makima. It is what Denji dreamed of, but even with it in his grasp, something doesn't feel right.

Denji even goes as far as to voice this unhappiness, to doubt what lays ahead in his future. Will he always be happy, can he guarantee that? Will his happiness grow as he does? It's something he's unsure of, and rather than Nayuta answering with something profound, she offers Denji exactly what he needs in that moment: the control devil.

No, not Makima, definitely Nayuta. What I mean is he needs someone to speak for him, to make those decisions that he wavers in. His fear of the future, the concern of his happiness, they're things that Denji has yet to come to terms with. Having them provided by Nayuta, having someone say "it'll be fine as long as I'm here" is what he desperately wants.

Anyways, this exchange of the weapon hybrids. Interestingly enough we've got the Spear and Whip hybrids here. Alongside Barem and Miri, this accounts for the original 4 hybrids that were previously under Makima's control. Reze, Quanxi, and even Katana Man are still undiscovered. There's the possibility that post-Makima they were swept up by Kishibe and are elsewhere in the world currently, but whatever the case it's clear that Barem is the de facto leader of these weapon hybrids.

Also, that last panel? They're at Family Burger, it's where Kobeni worked at the end of Part 1. Wouldn't it be crazy if she showed up in the next chapter?

Back on topic though, it's clear that the weapon devils are serving a very specific purpose in trying to get Chainsaw Man out into the open for some unspoken reason. I would assume it all has to do with his perception in society. This arc has been all about breaking Denji down, ripping Chainsaw Man away from him, removing his spotlight and relegating him to being "just a person". If they can force him back into the body of Chainsaw Man, and they can humiliate him in that form, they can essentially crush him underfoot and leave him as a weakling without any concern for his actions.

Regardless of intention though, this chapter really reaps a lot of what was sowed with Denji's character through the end of part 1. His pursuit of happiness, all that he had to discard to attain it, all that he lost with each step he took toward it. He's doing it all over again. He's surrendered part of himself, he's stuck in a life removed from Devils, removed from being the hero. He's living with the control devil, a threat to the world is ongoing, so on and so forth. Does it not at all sound familiar to Part 1? The whole idea is the reiteration of Denji as a character. Sure, he can't be reincarnated like a regular devil, but in spite of that, it still remains the word I would choose to use when explaining Denji's character arc here. He suffers, he struggles, he makes the same mistakes and pitfalls. But in the end, he'll discover himself once more and attain even greater heights. I'm really looking forward to seeing what happens with the next chapter, and finding out who we might end up meeting up with again finally.

[mittenskittensslay]

Hi!

I'm doing a project for school, and I need to have some stories from real people to back up my point. My topic is representation in media and how it affects mental health. I was wondering if you had any stories about a movie/show that has helped your mental health or educated you on something? I know media and representation have really helped me to figure myself out and made me feel seen, so I wanted to do this topic because of that. I really need more stories from real people, so I'm asking people online and hoping some of them reply lol. Thank you!

Wow, thanks for asking me! When is your project due? I don't know when it is but I hope I replied fast enough and I hope this helps you! :D

Well, for me personally, the way The Owl House handles neurodiversity, and LGBTQ2S+, and disability is an eye-opening experience because it was previously unseen to this extent! Notable examples are all how all the characters are shown as no less! They don't have to be "normal" or fit in! What is normal, anyway? They're celebrated and valued for being wholeheartedly, shamelessly, and unapologetically their amazing, authentic selves! No matter who you are, you're valid, there's no normal and it's not frowned upon! The manner in which they're portrayed, they're so well written and that has helped people understand that they're actually neurodiverse, or LGBTQ2S+, has helped them reach out to others and seek for help when needed, myself included!

Luz struggles to fit in on Earth and Eda as well as King, Hooty, and the Collector have a hard time belonging on the Boiling Isles. However, by being open and accepting, they realize that "us weirdos gotta stick together!" to quote the Owl Lady, which is one of the pivotal, if not the main message of this show which is "You gotta be your own witch!" Also how "magic (literally) comes from the heart" it's one of the endless reasons why I love the Owl House so much and my love for it will never die.

The Owl House has allowed me to embrace myself, love myself wholeheartedly and practice more self-care. It's helped me come out of my shell and make friends thanks to the treasure it is that we fans cherish and its beautiful fandom that lets us form profound bonds by sharing this deep love and creating our own fan arts and fan fics. Luz teaches us and helps us, reminds us to be even more vulnerable, and spread sunshine and joy, love, goodness and kindness everywhere we go, to go with all our heart wherever we go! I love myself for being autistic and a genderfluid aroace lesbian even more now thanks to them. This cartoon has even aided me in realzing my sexuality and neurodiversity.

Look, kid, everyone wants to believe they're "chosen". But if we all waited around for a prophecy to make us special, we'd die waiting. And that's why you need to choose yourself." - Eda Clawthorne

"You know, you can't hide from your fears forever, which is why you've gotta get the jump on them. Give 'em a whack right in the face." - Eda Clawthorne

Please, do yourself a favor. Never hide. I've been different than others around me all my life and will proudly continue to do so, wearing it as a badge of honor because if you don't then you insult yourself, you don't live with integrity. Easier said than done but you've got to because if you're not you, then who are you? Never let the haters get you down. I relate to Luz and the others as being a proud outsider who found friends and found family also! Imagine if Luz and the others conformed. I have always found it difficult to be who I am, it doesn't always come out but Luz is so inspiring she's so herself, unique, and spontaneous in everything, makes us accept ourselves and that way I have never been happier to be me, you feel connection to the characters: they represent you, they're others just like you: this is a part of you and I love every part of you. Break free from toxicity and recognize it. Being understood is one of the best feelings. Eda accepting her curse has allowed me to accept every part of myself. It show people that LGBTQ2S+ exists and there's no need to be afraid. Change your life, you're not a tree that's stuck, find your tribe. Keeping things in is self destructive. "Does it have to be perfect?" like the most powerful witch of the Boiling Isles says again. True friendship is also shown, being there for each other. This show also tells us that we make the labels for ourselves, we define. It's how you feel, not trying to fit in the mold, you don't need to meet every single thing on a checklist or match all criteria. The labels are what they are precisely because every beautiful individual adds their own meaning and flavor to it.

Basically, to sum it all up, it portrays neurodiverse and LGBTQ2S+ folks accurately and most importantly in a way that people can relate to and feel good about themselves. For example, for me personally, it helped me open up more, embracing and expressing my true and best self, every day we get better and better. We become more social and actually truly connect with others deeply due to our shared love for the owl house which is usually hard for me to do as a high-functioning, self-advocating, and self-diagnosed autistic (or Aspie, though I don't use this label now since its no longer in use). It shatters stigma and stereotypes. It's simply groundbreaking. With love, and support, found friends, and family both biological and found, you can thrive, not just survive, and be loved, and accepted for exactly who you are nothing lees you're just weird enough to be the awesome you that you are. These and countless others are the feel good messages of this show.

Of course this essay wouldn't be complete if I didn't mention Amity Blight! Almost everyone in the Owl House undergoes key character development and their life as they know it changes in the best possible way, no less than thanks to Luz Noceda, which is an astonishingly beautiful thing but I believe I can safely speak for many, if not all of us (also yours truly), when I say that Amity undergoes the most amazing and impressive character development I've ever seen so far! Goes without saying! She starts off being seen as a bully when in fact it is later revealed she never was. It's never taken for granted that Luz with the sunshine she is and spreads selflessly everywhere, helped Amity rediscover her true self. Amity understands and goes on a journey or self improvement. If that's not inspiring, then I don't know what it and I'm not exaggerating here! Amity does a lot of self work, recognised her mistakes and attempts to become a better friend to Luz pretty quickly.

Hm, I wonder if when Luz said, "I'm not a witch but I'm training hard to be one." and showed Amity the ball of light emerging from the light glyph, she was speaking to her essence and broke through/got through to her!

And then, when Amity said "remember to turn on the light" to Luz and saved her in WAD, she woke her up bc she reminded her that Luz is light, literally!

Luz helps Amity remember who she really is, to return to her true self, who she always has been deep down, not just sb trying to achieve ultimate status and Amity helps Luz remember that she's the light of everyone's life! To continue to be who they really are! They saw through each other! I think they also literally became each other - Amity became Luz's light and Luz was suffering with the same issues as Amity, thinking that she ruined everyone's lives which was definitely not true in both cases! Neither Luz nor Amity ruined everyone's lives, ofc! It was the complete opposite! And they did what one did for the other as I said above but reversed!

Bc Amity and Luz are essentially the same -both so positive, carefree (maybe not always but eventually and unafraid to be themselves), dorky, nerdy goofballs who are so kind and sweet and powerful and so much more and full of love! (But also different in their own unique way)!

Love and kindness always win in the end and we have them inside us! We are love and kindness themselves! We just need to give each other a chance!

Luz, Raine, Masha, The Collector, King, Papa Titan, Amity, Hunter, and basically everyone is probably on the spectrum so hats off to everyone and them. Eda helped me confirm my gayness, something I was already aware of before the Owl House. Same goes for the characters mentioned above: Luz as genderfluid; Raine, Masha and The Collector non-binary; Papa Titan as probably non-binary/agender genderfluid? (Feel free to correct me, sorry if I'm wrong)! Vee also (however, I don't think the creators have canonically confirmed whether she's/they're envy or demigirl or something similar but I'm assuming this headcanon respectfully and again, if I'm wrong, please feel free to correct me and educate me because I believe we're all always stil learning! However, again because people are allowed to be truly themselves - as it should be -and not marginalized and hiding for that, we can thrive. I understood that I can actually be attracted to women (I already knew that before, I believe I even had a type already, Eda basically confirmed that or the feelings around that time just happened to coincidentally appear and feel more real not because necessarily because of their frequency and intensity because you can still be attracted to someone even if the attraction isn't always there and strong (hence my aroace label) whether it's frequent and or not intense. Aroace folks can feel or not feel love and attraction and want or not want a relationship and sometimes I have felt not wanting that but it's always very brief, I do want love, I'm too much of a hopeless romantic at heart not too! I also already knew i was genderfluid. I'm a cis woman, I've always mainly identified as a woman but I'm more than just that "label": its doesn't define me fully. It's broad and vague so I feel it fluctuates. I can be and express myself as any gender: no gender, both genders - its never fixed. Before however I always knew I wasn't straight but I wasn't sure if i was LGBTQ2S+. I used to think I was demi sexual, panromantic but it's exactly why all kinds of representation is vital! It's ok to be a late bloomer but if this cartoon existed earlier it would have helped. Dana Terrace herself claimed to be a late bloomer also. Speaking of which, a huge thank you to her and her crew for creating the Owl House! They changed our lives forever in the best possible way! The connection and love between us fans, whether casual viewers or die hard fans will always be priceless: this show means everything to me and always will!

There's a lot more that can be covered but the essay would go on far too long and I don't know the word limit for your project but I hope this is enough!

This is an awesome post I found Life lessons from TOH

[1ns4n3j3st3rf0rlyf3]

Militant shelter programs are more evil than jail bc there is less routine and more consistency in abuse

Being in a homeless shelter is isolating, paranoia inducing and traumatizing. So is being in prison or jail. They are built in such similar ways that once you lose your connection to community and you have been in the system for long enough you rationalize being stuck in the system with its toxic codependency that makes people feel like they're doing something the right way. It's emotional Stockholm syndrome that makes people dependent on any kind of reward. Stockholm syndrome describes the psychological condition of a victim who identifies with and empathizes with their captor or abuser and their goals. Stockholm syndrome is rare; according to one FBI study, the condition occurs in about 8 percent of hostage victims.

https://www.britannica.com/science/Stockholm-syndrome

When community is existing outside of the shelters it is so much more preferred to the shelter. Streets over the system until the streets become unlivable bc of the profit based motives the system prioritizes.

It's a large scale propaganda that the shelter is a safe space to put the displaced peoples, so when people prefer to sleep on the street it makes jailing them justifiable to the wrong kinds of people. I think cops like spreading that nonsense to make it seem more humane that they lock up vast numbers of homeless for any possible infractions, real or imagined. They make it seem like they're doing the homeless guy a favor for "taking them off the streets".

Stanford prison experiments and their relation to system based community

Carried out August 15-21, 1971 in the basement of Jordan Hall, the Stanford Prison Experiment set out to examine the psychological effects of authority and powerlessness in a prison environment. The study, led by psychology professor Philip G. Zimbardo, recruited Stanford students using a local newspaper ad. Twenty-four students were carefully screened and randomly assigned into groups of prisoners and guards. The experiment, which was scheduled to last 1-2 weeks, ultimately had to be terminated on only the 6th day as the experiment escalated out of hand when the prisoners were forced to endure cruel and dehumanizing abuse at the hands of their peers. The experiment showed, in Dr. Zimbardo’s words, how “ordinary college students could do terrible things.”

https://exhibits.stanford.edu/spe

This study to me shows how silly it is to expect people who haven't been screened and trained effectively to effectively hold that much power over people. When people are given unnecessary and unreasonable amounts of power, that feeds a fragile ego and makes people act selfishly. The systems in place (ie: shelters, mental hospitals, care programs, anything medical, jail, etc) all share a very similar method of gatekeeping and toying with people for profit.

Gatekeeping theory is the connection between two inarguable facts: events occur everywhere all of the time and the news media cannot cover all of them. And so, when an event occurs, someone has to decide whether and how to pass the information to another person, such as a friend, an official, or even a journalist.

The gatekeeping of political messages is known as media gatekeeping (Shoemaker & Reese, 1996)—that is, “the process by which countless occurrences and ideas are reduced to the few messages we are offered in our news media” (Shoemaker & Vos, 2009, p. 75).

they make it hard for us to get what we need because of the lack of interconnectivity within the care routes and they want to keep the marginalized poor so we r easier to silence

Medical "gatekeeping was associated with better quality of care and appropriate referral for further hospital visits and investigation. However, one study reported unfavorable outcomes for patients with cancer under gatekeeping, and some concerns were raised about the accuracy of diagnoses made by gatekeepers. Gatekeeping resulted in fewer hospitalizations and use of specialist care, but inevitably was associated with more primary care visits. Patients were less satisfied with gatekeeping than direct-access systems." -- quote from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6478478/

This continued gatekeeping of medical care leads to the further marginalization of peoples who don't have access to direct access medical care and terminology. Getting help with disabilities is a very rare thing to happen unless you are not marginalized. So the 1% is again hoarding the care while the disenfranchised get stuck in the cycles of gatekeeping. The majority is left feeling isolated and without care.

Now they if they try to seek out care.

I think Stockholm syndrome is trained into people who fall into the system like Pavlov's dog. (Pavlov demonstrated salivation in dogs through a series of experiments where he paired the sound of a bell with the presentation of food. Over time, the dogs began to associate the bell with food and would start to salivate at the sound of the bell, even when no food was presented.) To me the pipeline is troubled teen, rehab, jail, shelter, jail cyclically.

troubled teen - mental health

"Ms. Ianelli is an activist and the author of a new memoir, “I See You, Survivor,” which details her ordeal. But she is far from alone. Hundreds of thousands of young Americans have endured similar harms or assaults in residential boot camps, wilderness therapy and Christian and therapeutic boarding schools, which claim to vanquish teen psychological problems like drug misuse, depression and defiant behavior. Among them is Paris Hilton, who first told her story in a 2020 documentary and is now lobbying for recently introduced legislation to stop the abuse.

These children’s programs act similarly to psychiatric hospitals in that they control residents’ custody and communication with the outside world, but they are typically not strictly regulated. Some states exempt programs that claim to be religion-based from standards enforced on other child-caring facilities, while some states have few, if any, regulations on these programs. Because more than a dozen states allow spanking and paddling in schools, corporal punishment that would be illegal in prisons occurs in many of these programs. Evidence suggests that the punitive “therapies” that these facilities use are unsafe and ineffective."

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/10/19/opinion/troubled-teens-industry-regulation.html

Children's autonomy is easier to steal with no reparations. Legally more excusable historically.

The Children's Rights Movement is a historical and modern movement committed to the acknowledgment, expansion, and/or regression of the rights of children around the world. This act laid several constitutional laws for the growth of a child's mental and physical health. 

https://www.childrensrights.org/

- [ ] Mental health - Rehabilitation

- [ ] Toxic punishment reward system based on shame and fear

- [ ] Rehabilitation - abuse

- [ ] Push and pull loves of drugs and connection

- [ ] Abuse - jail

- [ ] no tolerance for own emotion bc the childhood systems in place silenced ourselves

- [ ] Jail over the streets

- [ ] Community over isolation

- [ ] Food water shelter

- [ ] Not chemically dependent on substances (other than big Pharma)

Gatekeeping and Gerrymandering is a huge system in the bay area. the systems in place currently serve to protect the 1% instead of us and keep us cycled in trauma.

Gatekeeping theory is the connection between two inarguable facts: events occur everywhere all of the time and the news media cannot cover all of them. And so, when an event occurs, someone has to decide whether and how to pass the information to another person, such as a friend, an official, or even a journalist.

The gatekeeping of political messages is known as media gatekeeping (Shoemaker & Reese, 1996)—that is, “the process by which countless occurrences and ideas are reduced to the few messages we are offered in our news media” (Shoemaker & Vos, 2009, p. 75).

they make it hard for us to get what we need because of the lack of interconnectivity within the care routes and they keep the marginalized poor so we r silenced

Medical "gatekeeping was associated with better quality of care and appropriate referral for further hospital visits and investigation. However, one study reported unfavorable outcomes for patients with cancer under gatekeeping, and some concerns were raised about the accuracy of diagnoses made by gatekeepers. Gatekeeping resulted in fewer hospitalizations and use of specialist care, but inevitably was associated with more primary care visits. Patients were less satisfied with gatekeeping than direct-access systems." -- quote from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6478478/

This continued gatekeeping of medical care leads to the further marginalization of peoples who don't have access to direct access medical care and terminology. Getting help with disabilities is a very rare thing to happen unless you are not marginalized. So the 1% is again hoarding the care while the disenfranchised get stuck in the cycles of gatekeeping. The majority is left feeling isolated and without care.

The majority people of the United States are not millionaires. According to the statistic below in 2020, the San Jose-Sunnyvale-Santa Clara metropolitan area in California had the highest share of millionaire households of any U.S. metropolitan area, with 13.6 percent of all households having at least one million U.S. dollars in investible assets. This is Bay Area culture. The poor stay poor and the rich stay rich.

https://www.statista.com/statistics/294941/largest-ratio-millionaire-households-per-capita-us/

This is where gerrymandering comes into play. To gerrymander is to manipulate the boundaries of an electoral constituency so as to favor one party or class.

Typical gerrymandering cases in the United States take the form of partisan gerrymandering, which is aimed at favoring one political party while weakening another; bipartisan gerrymandering, which is aimed at protecting incumbents by multiple political parties; and racial gerrymandering, which is aimed at maximizing or minimizing the impact of certain minority groups. 

https://www.sfchronicle.com/projects/2022/san-francisco-redistricting-final-map/

There is a clear decision to make the minority voting members of communities that are usually more marginalized by our country.

Again, https://www.sfchronicle.com/projects/2022/san-francisco-redistricting-final-map/ this link is crazy to see the intentional disparity

currently on social media especially there are polarizing AI bots that cause micro conflicts within the communities that should be fighting together

"A report we recently published through the Center for Business and Human Rights at New York University’s Stern School of Business sheds light on the relationship between tech platforms and the kind of extreme polarization that can lead to the erosion of democratic values and partisan violence. While Facebook, the largest social media platform, has gone out of its way to deny that it contributes to extreme divisiveness, a growing body of social science research, as well as Facebook’s own actions and leaked documents, indicate that an important relationship exists."

"In an article published in October 2020 in the journal Science, a group of 15 researchers summarized the scholarly consensus this way: 'in recent years, social media companies like Facebook and Twitter have played an influential role in political discourse, intensifying political sectarianism.'"

https://www.brookings.edu/articles/how-tech-platforms-fuel-u-s-political-polarization-and-what-government-can-do-about-it/

“Twitter has emerged as a key platform on which anyone with a smartphone can engage in political discourse,” observed Michelle Nguyen in her article entitled “Twitter’s Role in Politics” in The Northwestern Business Review (https://northwesternbusinessreview.org/twitters-role-in-politics-b3ed620465c9). She noted that a TV ad “can cost millions of dollars” but “a single post can reach the same number of people just as quickly for a tiny fraction of the cost.”

"Though this study was focused on Twitter activities of members of the 111th U.S. House of Representatives, we suggest that our findings have broader implications about the use of social media by political and administrative institutions. Results of our study are cautionary for governments and policymakers who use social media to collect and interpret the voices of citizens because the preferences of citizens expressed through social media may be directed more toward contentious political issues rather than toward solving challenging problems."

"The capacity of social media to personalize information appears to be contributing to greater levels of extremism, and online political polarization is increasing. Therefore, institutions and governmental entities must develop a process for gathering a wider range of opinions (and greater online participation) from the public and simultaneously discern which voices represent extremist views."

https://scholar.harvard.edu/sounman_hong/political-polarization-twitter-social-media-may-contribute-online-extremism

there are niche micro arguments between people that have the same wants with different language and that's where classism comes into play with our language and the gatekeeping of regular communication

This video shows parts of how language can lead to pipelining and polarization.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=baaMpTGC04U&ab_channel=Jubilee

What is the alt-right pipeline? 0n3ph Answered: it most often refers to a feature of the algorithm wherein maybe you start with a couple of sjw cringe compilations, then you get passed on to say Tim Pool or Jimmy Dore, and then on to maybe Sargon of Akkad or Steven Crowder, and eventually end up with neonazi content.

It means a series of stages presented to a viewer through the algorithm which slowly boiling-frog radicalises them into going full alt-right.

the ways that society is being polarized by trauma porn is making them feel like the largest public issues are what deserve the most importance but the issue is that we are moving away from collective action in places where our masses could actually do something good

[d3mond4yzz]

As a trans person who has undergone gender assignment surgery, I find it offensive that you're identifying as trans. You believe you identify as male but have countless pictures showing off your breasts and vagina and sexualising your female body. No hun, that's not being trans. Because if you really felt you were born into the wrong body you would not be showing it off. It would quite frankly disgust you. Stop referring to yourself as trans. It makes a mockery of the whole trans community who have suffered to be who they truly are.

I am truly shocked and disgusted upon recieving an ask like this. I have been trans for three fucking years. I think I know a thing or two about feeling uncomfortable in the body you're in to the point of actually wanting to chop your tits off. I have literally struggled to have any confidence in myself because of this. For three years, I have struggled with being trans and also transphobia, which I already experience every day, thank you very much. To read this coming from a trans person is what hurts the most. We as trans people are supposed to come together and help one another. The fact that you are so utterly uncomfortable with me not having the physical transitions of male genetals is truly sad. Your perception of what makes a trans person a trans person, is quite frankly, bullshit. Saying that a trans man is only a trans man once they have a penis and have had their chest surgically flattened is a sweeping statement. I can't utter the words for how ridiculous and biased you sound. Genitals don't make a trans person a trans person. Trans people are trans, it is an identity. It is not down to what's in your fucking pants. I would think that as a trans person, you would know that. Were you not in the body you didn't want when you discovered you were trans ? Do you seriously have such an ill conciounse of trans people that haven't transitioned ? Huh. Makes me think about why we are failed as a community, why people fail us. Because in order to fit the narrative of being trans, we must actually appear as the gender we want to be. Is that right ? Sounds like that's what you're trying to get across with your idealisation of transgender people not being transgender people if they don't have the physical aspects of a transgender person.

I deal with disphoria, should I mention. I deal with it, often. Just because I'm confident in my body, does not take away from the fact that I am disphoric.sometimes I don't like my boobs. I often wear oversized hoodies to cover them up. Sometimes, I'm fine with them, and I can ignore the fact that they're there and still, I'm trans. Having boobs and sometimes being okay with them does not make me a " fake " trans person. And, as you put it, " stop referring to yourself as trans ", that's the thing. I don't refer to myself as trans. I simply am trans. I am a trans male. My body is not my identity. You do not get to decide how I perceive my own body as a trans person. Who gives a shit, if I have a flat chest, or boobs, or a vagina, or a dick. It doesn't fucking matter ! What truly matters is that, no matter what you think, or what you believe, we are everywhere. Trans people with boobs are everywhere. Trans people that don't want to physically transition, are everywhere. And we are most certainly valid. And i know you don't think so. But you are one person. One single person out of 8 billion people on earth. And if nobody else should matter, why the fuck should you ? Nothing matters and nobody gives a shit, so, you may as well spend your time on this earth spreading love and positivity, rather than sending me stupid shit like this. I bid you good day. ❤️

[balillee]

tommy's character gets far too much shit.

hi tumblr. i'm gonna need a few bitches to spread this post everywhere, essentially because i want someone, or just tommy really, to see it. so if you really want, you can screenshot it and post it on twitter, reddit, link it everywhere - go absolutely buck wild. i know he reads the VODS comments a lot, but they're chock full of people just insulting him, his character, his writing and everything about his story in the dream smp simply because they don't understand it and because they refuse to acknowledge his character's perspective (mainly because they only care about the pig). reading that many critical comments on something you've created can only make you feel worse about it eventually, and in light of all the awful techno apologist takes on his character, i wanted to basically just word vomit about how wonderfully crafted c!tommy is, as well as compile some other tumblr posts about his character.

there is a massive fuckin community of people who enjoy the character of tommy, because the character is incredible. i myself have made post after post after post commenting on and analysing tommy's character because i find that there's so much to pick apart. but that enthusiasm for his character only seems to be found on tumblr. reddit and twitter seem to hate his character, the VODS seem to be filled with comments from people who only care about techno's perspective (and treat techno as a reliable narrator, which, is the furthest thing from the truth - that guy lies through his teeth all the time), and the smp wiki is a hellscape of godawful takes and mistruths, not even on just tommy's character.

c!tommy is brilliantly acted and brilliantly written, and almost everything he does is either justifiable or has been rectified or admitted as a mistake. you can clearly make connections as to where he got his conclusions from. you feel what his character experiences, as a member of the audience, vividly.

if you look in the more objective sense, c!tommy, and this is especially in the context of him being the youngest character, is a scapegoat. people claim he's awful and destructive when in reality he's a lot less destructive than most characters on the server. a moment that comes to mind is where he diverts schlatt and quackity's attention from pogtopia by breaking part of the flag in manberg, and then replacing it so as to buy tubbo some time - he literally monologues after it about how he doesn't want to destroy but instead rebuild, and how he feels as if nobody else seems to understand that.

his arc in season two was incredible. it was very character driven, and it gave a spotlight to his motivations. at the start we see him in new l'manberg, and he's enjoying his time there, he's skeptical of his friend's presidency, but his main goal is to get back the discs so that he can stop dream and eliminate that threat. he made one screw up that didn't even matter to george, and he paid for it tenfold, even after dream had spent a while with puffy griefing the server and framing it on tommy - what tommy and ranboo did was convinient. then, in exile, we see c!tommy straight up get abused. he's gaslit and conditioned into being c!dream's friend, and in his brain he teaches himself that those acts of abuse are moments of bonding, and it eventually brings him to the point of wanting to end his own life - he's been torn away from his friends and his support system, and nobody will visit him consistently anymore because they only showed him pity, and all he had left was dream, who had hurt him.

but he doesn't die there, because while he didn't understand the full gravity of it back then like he does now, he recognises that dying isn't an escape, and he can beat dream, even if he doesn't know how. so this is where he goes to techno's place, and here's where the fandom starts to misinterpret the situation wildly.

it's the problem similar to when your parents tell you that they're owed something back because you put a roof over their head, despite that being Not How It Works. techno took tommy in and severely mistreated him emotionally. sure, and i understand this, c!techno is a bad communicator who isn't really that empathetic to anyone who isn't phil or wilbur, but that doesn't excuse the blatant lying to c!tommy's face, the guilt tripping, the friendship buying and the degrading. the day before the festival, tommy finally does something violent in his interrogation of fundy, and only then does techno tell him,,,,

that tommy's not equal to him, that techno doesn't respect him all that much, and that they're not friends.

from techno's perspective, and at the time, this was viewed as a positive development in their relationship. oh, he's starting to warm up to tommy! this friendship could really blossom!

no. from a more objective standpoint, what techno has just said to tommy is : 'i respect you only a little bit more now, because while you're starting to act more like me, you're still annoying and a burden.'

and i haven't even touched on the whole 'erasing the words 'Destroy L'manberg' from techno's to-do list' thing, because that instantly refutes the point of 'techno was upfront with his intentions the whole time' - because he wasn't! he may have said it the first time, but you also know what else he did? he repeatedly told tommy that they'd 'air the details out later' whenever the discs were brought up, and from a tommy viewer's perspective at the time, it was framed as if techno was no longer going to do that.

and i also haven't dared touch the 'i would have fought them all for you', because that's major guilt tripping if ever i've seen it.

so, the day of the festival comes, and here's where c!techno and his apologists completely misread c!tommy's thought process, and why he makes the decision he does.

tommy instantly regrets valuing the discs over tubbo, and it's framed as the culmination of tommy having become all the people he said he would never want to be like. and what does he immediately do? he tells tubbo to give up the disc, and he sides with tubbo. he puts his value in his friends, and, by proxy, l'manberg. and when he betrays techno, he tells him 'i'm sorry'.

from a more objective standpoint, tommy's time with techno is him valuing the discs over almost anything else. so, in leaving techno to be with tubbo again, he is valuing people above the discs. so when, on doomsday, techno says his 'discs aren't people' line, what he doesn't realise is that he himself fueled tommy's valuing of discs above people when attempting to fuel tommy's vengeance against tubbo and l'manberg. techno doesn't realise that he was an unhealthy presence for tommy, and an even worse influence.

what techno also doesn't seem to understand is that tommy never hated tubbo or l'manberg - tommy recognises, now at least, that his exile wasn't a product of tubbo, but a product of dream's manipulation, likely in part because at the time, especially with dream lying about tommy blowing up the community house, tommy was the only one who could see it because he had experienced it firsthand. so when techno sides with dream, it's like kicking tommy in the teeth.

and i want to mention that betraying someone doesn't necessarily make the person who was betrayed good, or in the right, or even justified, because tommy was entirely justified to leave techno. you know who else was betrayed? schlatt. but i don't see many schlatt apologists around angry at quackity for joining the rebellion.

tommy stole the axe of peace? good. it was a moment of tommy defining his self-worth, instead of having it defined by others. gone is the age of c!techno belittling him and deciding how much c!tommy should be respected. NEXT!

here's a moment i wanted to talk about that will forever be funny to me.

'i am a person.'

techno's very famous line from doomsday. techno says to tommy that discs aren't people, and that tommy should value people, despite not understanding that by leaving techno, he did just that. and what does tommy say in return, which has been omitted from every c!tommy-critical analysis, and every animatic?

'yes you are, but so are we.'

an acknowledgement of techno's hurt, to which tommy has already apologised for. a statement that says 'your hurt does not excuse, nor justify, the hurt you have inflicted onto us.' an acknowledgement that tommy has already learnt the lesson techno seems to be trying to 'teach' him. but you can't teach him anything by destroying.

c!tommy has had almost everything he has ever owned or built either taken from him or destroyed. ranboo even points out that the only two things of tommy's left standing are his house and his hotel, and if i'm honest, his house is dissheveled. it's a labyrinth of terror due only to how many times it's been torn apart. l'manberg being blown up didn't teach anyone anything about anarchy, or about valuing people over possessions. logstedshire being blown up didn't teach tommy to be obedient.

i could honestly ramble for ages about how nuanced tommy's character is and how much depth and complexity there is to his character's process and his relationship with others, but more than that, c!tommy is forgiving. he invites almost everyone who hates him to the grand opening of his hotel - if that isn't an indicator that he just wants friends, and not to be treated like the embodiment of evil, then i don't know what is. he holds grudges, but he doesn't really actively hate anyone, other than c!dream. but, we'll let him. c!dream deserves nothing but to be pummeled into the floor.

tommy doesn't spoonfeed his character nuance, and he doesn't really spell it out for his audience. he'll mention things like trauma and triggers in passing, but a lot of analysis on his motivations has to be picked up from what is said in passing or from what can be seen in between the lines.

i'd be here for hours if i were to talk about everything i love about c!tommy, because honestly he's one of my favourite characters, and there are so many angles you can look at his character from in terms of his age, his relationships with others, his motivations, his personality, his character arcs etc etc. so instead of doing that, i'm going to compile some much more specific analysis posts below to skim through because they highlight so many good aspects of his character.

^^ A thread about the 'yes you are, but so are we' line.

^^ About how shit the VODS comments are.

^^ A comment on how c!Tommy is actually pretty peaceful, and is actually less destructive than most characters on the server.

^^ Possibly the best c!Tommy analysis thread I've ever seen in relation to his trauma, which gives multiple perspectives.

^^ About how c!Tommy is treated as a scapegoat, and how, from an objective standpoint, he is no more violent than any other character, it's just that the little violence that is committed is blown far out of proportion.

^^ Tumblr user flypaw being a bad bitch, as per usual.

^^ c!Tommy being incredibly intelligent, and talking about wanting to rebuild and not destroy. A very underrated monologue of his.

^^ Something short about c!Tommy and c!Wilbur's relationship in Pogtopia.

^^ Less about c!Tommy, more a meta on L'Manberg. Really interesting to think about.

^^ A take on Doomsday.

I'll add some more posts in a reblog in the notes, but if anyone's post(s) is on this and they want me to take it off, let me know and I'll do that for you! Feel free to add your own banger c!Tommy takes or ones that you've found.

[cockasinthebird]

This is… weird, humiliating, embarrassing, but also rather… thrilling? The hemline of the dress tickles where it reaches halfway down his thighs, the fabric stretches ever so slightly across his chest, and the slim straps actually makes his shoulders look both broader and soft at the same time.

He looks good, pretty even. Billy's gonna have a field day with this.

"I bet I can score from further away than you," was what Billy had boasted with during basketball practice.

And Steve couldn't resist even the slightest of chance that he would triumph over Billy's bloated ego.

Which is the unfortunate excuse for this situation.

"Can you even fit in it?" he shouts from the other side of the bathroom door.

"Yes, shut up, go away, just… give me a moment." Steve stands flustered in front of the mirror, staring at how wide his hips look in these horizontal stripes. The pink actually rather suits his pale skin, and with moles scattered across his body like stardust, he would even consider himself beautiful.

"Ha! I'm not going anywhere, so come on out and show me."

If Billy is standing out there with a camera ready, well, Steve can't make any promises that this airy little thing won't see blood.

He twists and turns in the mirror. A picture is out of the question, but wearing this dress again isn't. Even his ass looks bigger and more inviting, to a point where he's not too shy to admit he'd turn his head if someone walked by looking this appetizing.

Which only raises the question of what will Billy say? What will he think? What will he do?

They're not unfamiliar with each other's bodies by now, fooled around some, experimented like horny hormonal teens tend to do. Tested boundaries. And it wouldn't shock Steve now to find out that this was Billy's plan with the bet all along; to somehow get Steve into a dress and perhaps have his way with him in it.

"Fuck," Steve sighs at that thought, as it excites him perhaps a bit too much, and he'd rather not introduce Billy to this sight whilst sporting a boner.

"Come on, Stevie, you can't stay in there forever!"

Technically he's right, but theoretically? Steve's torn about whether or not to at least try and see if he can't wait out Billy's patience, which shouldn't be much longer now. At least the door is locked so Billy doesn't just burst in. Then he starts not knocking but beating the door till it shudders with the force of it.

"Okay okay! Just… promise you won't laugh!" Steve's voice wavers with the worry of being ridiculed. He should trust Billy, the two of them having been through what they have, but it's hard to trust anyone with the heartbreak he’s been through.

"I won't lie to you, pretty boy, I can make no such promise," Billy chuckles, and even with a door in the way Steve knows what that smug grin looks like.

Deep breath. Hands shaking with how hard his heart beats, sweaty palms as he reaches out for the door, unlocks it and…

Billy's sitting on Steve's bed, leaning back with his hands behind on the duvet for support. His leg is bouncing with impatience, and he opens his mouth, barely saying, "Finally, what took you so long-" before his eyes land on Steve.

Or rather, on Steve's legs. Staring hard at where the dress ends just mid-thigh, exposing far too much of his long legs, fleshy thighs, dark hair that grows everywhere. Slowly his gaze drifts up past Steve's accentuated hips, his waist, broad chest where hair spreads across his pecs, and the low cut of the sun dress that would expose plenty of cleavage if he had the breasts for it.

He gapes, speechless.

And it's weirdly… empowering. To know that nothing more than a dress is what gives Steve the ability to shut Billy up immediately. That some simple fabric and exposed flesh is enough to baffle men. Do all women feel this way when wearing dresses? It's almost addicting to be this… admired.

"Like what you see?" he manages without a single stutter, despite how fast his heart is pounding in his chest, so eager to hear what thoughts Billy might hold.

"Holy shit, Steve, I…" Billy hasn't blinked in almost a minute now.

"You, what?" It's Steve's turn to huff a light laugh at how dumbfounded the other seem to be.

His confidence is soaring, pulsing through his veins, perhaps even getting him more excited than thought. What elation to be felt in the potential of a dress.

"I thought it'd be funny to see you in a dress, but…" Billy stands up. "Babe…"

And he moves closer, finding actions more fitting than words, as he reaches out to run a heavy and burning hand down Steve's side, feeling the curve from his ribs, past his waist and down over his hip. All the way to the hemline, his fingers just barely grazing against the skin beneath, causing goosebumps to rise like ripples in water.

Steve can count on one hand how many times Billy has called him any form of babe, and he might have to start using two hands if the way Billy is humming in delight is anything to go off of.

Slowly the skirt gets lifted higher and higher as Billy's hand wanders, and he leans back just slightly to peek underneath the fabric and catch a glimpse of dark green briefs that couldn't possibly be in a starker contrast to the girly-style of the dress. But his eyes darken all the same as pupils blow up with lust.

He leans in, lips just ghosting across Steve's as he whispers, "You look stunning in this."

There's a hopeful rhythm to Steve's heartbeat just then. Of what exactly he's unsure of, but it blooms nevertheless.

"Yeah?" is the best he can breathlessly respond with - all the blood in his body quickly draining down south to throb with anticipation.

"Yeah," Billy chuckles, "Gorgeous. Pink really suits you like this."

While the confidence remains, Steve's head swims with euphoria of the attention as now two hands find their way to his hips. He waits with the patience of a saint for a kiss, when those lips never touch his, instead finding their way down his neck, urging forth a delightful moan.

"Ah, Billy…" he sighs with pleasure and tips his head to the side as to allow the other better access.

Kisses soft like summer rain skim down his heated, sensitive skin; every single little touch like flourishing ecstasy beneath the surface from the foreign gentleness.

The thing they do is usually so heated and rough and fast, leaving both of them sore and bruised but oh so satisfied, so the pacing of this is… new. Different. Better?

Hands continue to wander as they slip behind to softly massage Steve's ass, squeezing tenderly before pulling his cheeks apart to allow fingers between as deep as the fabric of his briefs will allow.

He lets himself be guided by the hips to his bed, backwards until he falls onto the mattress where his legs hit the edge, landing in such a manner that the dress exposes far more than what is decent, and the way he blushes is almost bashful.

Billy follows right along, landing on his knees by the edge of the bed as he kisses and nibbles the inside of a thigh, agonizingly slow till he's met with the leg of Steve's underwear, and the sight of just how affected Steve has become by Billy's own touch.

“So hard already for me, baby,” Billy practically purrs.

And the response from Steve comes in a manner of keening as Billy runs his hot, fat tongue along the clear outline of the brunette’s cock, from base to tip where he dares suck at the growing spot of pre-cum and he moans at the salty taste. There’s soon a hand in his curls, encouraging him to continue licking and sucking up and down Steve’s throbbing shaft.

“Wanna fuck you so bad in this dress, princess,” he says with a hand down to stroke himself through his jeans. “Give it to you gently… listen to the way you’ll be singing my name.”

“Billy…” Truth be told there’s nothing Steve wants more in this exact moment than for Billy to be with him like that. Soft and gentle and dear. “Please.”

The way Billy chuckles at that little plea vibrates through Steve’s entire being, and he moans louder at it, gripping a bit harder with that fistful of hair he’s got as he grinds against that spirited tongue that tortures him through cotton. And Billy doesn’t stop anytime soon; going up and down the length of Steve’s dick till the fabric is soaked and his thighs tremble at the edge of cumming all too soon.

Then there’s nothing but cold air against his trapped erection, and Steve’s quick to get up on his elbows to glare dissatisfied down at Billy, only to catch him taking off his white tee; pulling it over his head and exposing those glorious abs that guide the eye down, down, down to where his steely cock tents something vividly. Steve barely has time to think before tearing off his own briefs and runs a hand across his aching flesh with a sigh of relief.

“Hey now,” Billy coos and grabs Steve’s wrist. “Let me take care of you. You just lay down and enjoy.”

His tone is so soft the butterflies in Steve’s chest burst with unexpected joy at the thought of someone taking care of him. It’s dangerous for the two of them to be like this. At least for Steve. At least for his heart. When did someone last take care of him with such loving hand?

So with only slight worry what this might mean, he does as suggested and lays back down, bringing a pillow along to keep him elevated just enough to get a good look at everything.

Billy’s so used to where everything is here that he without asking finds the lube in the bedside drawer, and pops the cap open with a smile, pouring a generous amount out onto his fingers. Fingers that find their way to where Steve is most needy of all; between soft cheeks and-

“Oh,” he gasps as one finger gently enters him, diving deeper and deeper as Steve’s own fingers strangle the covers.

When a second digit joins the other his toes curl, mouth open wide to breathe just right, like he’s done so many times in the recent past.

“Doing so good for me, Stevie boy,” Billy murmurs between kisses to his thigh, eyes trained on where he slowly thrusts his two fingers in and out, muscles clenching with thirst.

“Please, Billy,” Steve whines, “M-more…”

“As you wish.”

A third finger stretches him till there’s that familiar, delicious burn, and Steve feels how his prick leaks onto his stomach with pre. Billy bites gently into one thigh and it sends sparks up the other’s spine.

“-Ah!” He fights the urge to writhe in pleasure, choking on it as he attempts to lay still and patient for the golden boy.

“You think you’re ready for me, pretty boy?”

“Yes, God, please, I need you so bad, Billy,” Steve mumbles near incoherently through the haze of lascivious intent. His whole body is on fire.

And there’s a dissatisfied sigh when Billy removes himself, no matter for how short a moment it truly is, it takes too long before he’s back.

Jeans become unbuttoned, revealing to Steve that the other guy has dared go commando today, almost as if he expected something from him. Something that he’s far more than willing to give. Eager, even, but don’t tell Billy that.

Don’t tell Billy how this is all Steve dreams of at night. Them. Together in bed, in the backseat of their cars, on the hood, the living room couch, the school showers, hell even the kitchen island. He can’t sleep without either having been fucked well and done, or having jerked off to the memories of it.

“You make such a pretty girl, Harrington,” Billy admits with a lick of his lips, looking like a dog with a bone.

“Really?” Steve agrees, but he still wants the praise.

“Really. Beautiful, even.” Billy kneels between Steve’s quivering thighs. He leans in so close Steve can smell the cigarettes on his breath, and he aches to taste it, too. “Will you be the Queen to my Kingdom?”

Those words hit like a hammer to the chest.

“Y-yes.” Steve can only hope it wasn’t rhetorical, that it might mean what he thinks- no, what he dreams it means.

“Yeah?” Billy starts pushing into Steve’s hole, agonizingly slow, dragging on the seconds till they last minutes with every inch.

“Yeah,” a most pathetic whine that runs long into a moan as Billy sinks deeper and deeper. “Oh fuck Billy.”

Strong, warm hands land on Steve’s hips, holding him in place as he meets with the base of Billy’s cock, and he gasps as the head rubs against that golden spot buried inside. He listens to how wonderfully Billy groans and grunts as he clenches around him, taking careful note of every single inch of hot flesh in him.

“You feel so good,” Billy’s almost breathless as he speaks. “So fucking fantastic, baby. No other hole in all of Hawkins fits me this well.”

Each word of praise is more magnificent than the other, and Steve’s heart soars in his chest, beating to the rhythm of “More, more, more.”

But all he can muster is his name, “Billy…”

“Every second I’m not inside of you is agony.” He’s saying exactly what Steve wants to hear. “Pussy ain’t got nothing on this peach of an ass.”

He pulls out, slow and tantalizing, before sliding in again at the same pace, then out.

“Tell me no one fucks you like I do.”

Happily. “No one fucks me like you do, King Billy.”

There’s a delighted grunt at that and a wide, self-satisfied smirk. “King Billy, I like hearing that from your pretty lips.”

The thrusts grow faster and Steve’s moans follow suit.

“Tell me this is my hole,” he demands.

“This is your hole,” Steve keens, and his heart beats like a drum as he dares try, “I’m yours.”

“Fuck right you are.” And finally there’s the kiss Steve’s been yearning for for too long now.

It’s… kind, almost… loving. His words are curses but his kiss is praise. Neither of them can formulate their thoughts past, “Shit,” and, “Fuck,” but it’s not needed, for there’s a union between them, a common understanding that this is special. Steve doesn’t care if Billy fucks girls as long as he only fucks him.

“So good,” Billy growls between kisses and moans. “Want me to touch you?”

“Please- ahh-”

His hand closes around Steve’s leaking dick and starts jerking him off to the same pace as he fucks him, but it’s too much of the goodness all at once.

“Yes, yes! Oh- haah- Billy.”

It all comes together beautifully as their bodies harmonize, moving as one to the rhythm of their astounding desire for the other, like a dance that they know every step to.

Steve has never had a more fulfilling orgasm than this one, eyes rolling back as he practically screams out Billy’s name, who laughs victoriously as he picks up the pace to fuck Steve thoroughly as he empties out onto the dress, untouched and lonesome, but every pound against his ass makes it last all that more longer.

Billy isn’t far behind himself, the tightness of the other’s body as he tenses every muscle he has helps a lot, but man if the sight of how he cums all over that pretty little dress isn’t the one thing that does him in. It comes out of him as more of a howl than anything as he gives the final fast thrusts that he can muster, going hard at it on Steve’s poor, overstimulated ass, till there’s no more commotion and he stills himself, pressing in as completely as he physically can.

Then in the silent aftermath he falls to the side, landing with his golden curls spread across a pillow next to Steve. For a moment there neither says a thing, till Billy huffs a laugh.

“Was that… the best sex we’ve ever had?”

“I… I think so,” Steve smiles broadly, breathless, blissful.

“... wanna see if we can do better?”

He turns to see how Billy grins from ear to ear in a most endearing way.

“Absolutely.”

[my-mt-heart]

Reading comprehension is a dying art form, apparently. Why is it so easy for people to misread or misinterpret plain English? Especially when they have the convenience of rereading it?

I had one Caryler tell me I had "flawed logic" for expressing my harmless disapproval of a Maggie/Negan spinoff. It doesn't mean I don't like them. Just that I'm not interested in seeing their story and dynamic beyond the main show. And I literally put at the beginning and end of my post how I won't be watching it and then they say to me "omg just don't watch. This fandom is so weird." Huh...? Did you not read my post?

How do you call it "flawed logic" when it is based on "preference"? It's like me saying I like strawberry ice cream over chocolate ice cream. Just because you think chocolate ice cream deserves a platform everywhere to spread its chocolate-ness, it doesn't mean I have "flawed logic" for preferring strawberry.

And as for them not visiting your blog, because they're offended, why would it bother them as being labeled something they aren't if they are anonymous?

I did genuinely laugh though at their "I am one of the 5 people who" are excited for the Maggie/Negan spinoff. There is something foot-in-mouth about it, that makes it hilarious.

Seriously, though, can the Caryl community have different views and not take offense? Maggie is definitely not on my list of favorite characters, but she never has been. And I love Maggie. There's something kind about her, even though she's been hardened by her experiences.

I read different posts from different Carylers who have very different views than myself. I do not take offense. Or if I do (I don't), I wouldn't take it out on them. People act like the ones who make these posts are personally targeting them and that isn't the case.

For the record, my-mt, I agree with your assessment of Maggie and Carol. I get what Anon is saying, also. Carol is clearly in need of a lot of love and that is woven into the way her character is written and where her journey is going. Maggie doesn't have the scruples with self-worth Carol has; she's been loved, by a father, a mother, a sister, a husband and her child. Maggie has alluded to her father multiple times, and even named her child after him. She clearly draws strength from him, whereas Carol's past aside from Ed is shrouded in mystery. She really is being held together by staples. To add to what you said to the Anon, I think if Carol and Maggie were the same across the board, then yeah, we could make the strong argument that there is a double standard. But they are two very different characters, even with Carol seemingly and apparently getting less of everything.

All that said, I prefer Carol to Maggie, but they are both two of the strongest women in TWD universe.

Yeah, maybe I should've bolded it, idk. It's whatever. Listen, not every character is going to appeal to every viewer and I understand that. Maggie's not on my top-five list either, but I want to be extra careful about how I conduct character analyses so as not to inadvertently spread baseless, potentially misogynistic venom around. I've gotten messages like that in the past not just about Maggie, but Michonne too, and I just wanted to try to get ahead of it this time. That's all lol I don't disagree with the points anons have been making, I just feel like the comparisons are being oversimplified. You explained it perfectly though. Ty <3

Also for the record, my problem with the spinoff has nothing to do with whether or not I like Maggie or Negan as characters. It's just the concept of them working together feels so inorganic and stale.

[loveofafangirl]

In the Quiet

[Laszlo Kreizler Masterlist]

Pairing: Laszlo Kreizler x Reader (no gender, race, or body type given)* *reader is an aristocrat who has aspirations of being an artist

Synopsis: You and Laszlo spend a quiet moment together while you reflect on how you met. *Fluff* Meet-Cute*

Word Count: ~1,250

A/N: This is my first time writing Laszlo. I hope you enjoy it!

Your fingers weave through his silky hair, his head resting in your lap as the two of you recline on a picnic blanket. The soft melody of the babbling brook beside you is amplified by the quiet stillness surrounding you. The warm breeze off of the water tousles your hair and tickles your features. The occasional bird chirps a melody just for the two of you.

You breathe easier away from the city. You know he does as well, even though he thrives in the unruly environment. He needs this break, away from the darkness and melancholy that he lets consume him. Here, he can find peace without distraction. Of course, it wasn't easy. Each small town had its own history, and with it, its own tragic stories to analyze.

Laszlo saw the potential for psychopathy everywhere. His mind raced with ideas of what might be, and more importantly, why. He had a thirst for knowledge and understanding, unlike anyone you had ever known—one that could not easily be quenched. There was always more: more to learn, more to observe, more to understand.

You found that Laszlo appreciated the subtle details often overlooked by others. You were the same in that way. It was what had brought you together—the details—just, not the same ones. Where he saw despair and pain, you saw the possibility of hope and promise.

"What do you see?" His confident voice questions behind you.

Your body tenses at the intrusion. You were so focused on your work you hadn't noticed his appearance.

"Sir?" Your gaze settles on the curious man, now standing beside you. You observe how his hands rest casually on his walking stick before him, but his focus is not on you, rather your subject.

"Please, pray tell me if you would, what is it that you observe." He gestures to the woman on the bench across the path that you had been drawing.

You run your charcoal-covered fingers nervously over the cloth you had beside you. His polished appearance reminded you how your current state reflected poorly on your status. It was why you had come to this park, away from the aristocracy uptown, away from those that told you art was a skill to possess but not suitable for more than a mere hobby to entertain and impress those of importance.

Your already straight spine lengthens as you attempt to reclaim your station. Your gaze shifts between the woman and your canvas. "I see loss."

"Very astute." He interrupts the rest of your thoughts. "I observe the same. I surmise the young woman has suffered a great deal. The loss of a child, perchance."

"A husband," you correct, quite confidently. The look on his face tells you he is not used to being challenged. You turn your drawing toward him, pointing out the simple metal ring the woman held in her hand. It was no longer visible at present, but you had captured it earlier as she turned it between her fingers.

"You have a tremendous eye for detail." He offers with a raise of his brow and a simple nod, impressed with your deduction. "May I?"

He takes the seat beside you, and you hand him your portrait. He carefully accepts it and studies it more closely. His gaze shifts between the drawing and the subject, "It is very good. Howbeit, might I still offer a suggestion?"

"If you wish." You nod anxiously, your fingers twisting the cloth in your hands. You knew accepting feedback from strangers was something you would have to learn to endure if you wanted to show your work at a gallery one day. You just hadn't expected it so soon.

He hands the portrait back to you. "The eyes—they're not quite correct."

The corners of your lip pull up, certain you had been careful in your interpretation. "They are," you insist. "Or, they will be."

His lips press together, and his head shifts to the sides in contemplation, not quite understanding your meaning.

"Life is filled with consequences: some good, many bad." You grab a stick of charcoal and continue sketching. You no longer felt unsettled by his presence; in fact, you felt a boost in your confidence. He seemed genuinely interested in how you perceived the world. You did not feel any judgment on his part for your enjoyment of this work. "This woman may have suffered, yet she presses on. She sits in the quiet here instead of satisfying her pain in weeping or, perhaps, indulging in less savory means. She has hope. I saw just a glimmer of it earlier as the scent of the blossoms in the breeze caught her attention, pulling her momentarily from the melancholy. Although finite, the spark will grow until she is whole. That is what I chose to capture."

"The loss of another—a paramour—is not so easily overcome." His voice is more distant now, heavier. You sense he speaks from experience.

"Nothing worthwhile is easy, good Sir. However, in time, perspectives can change as long as one holds onto hope."

"Perhaps."

The soft sounds of your charcoal etching across the canvas fill the comfortable quiet that settles between the two of you.

Your fingers brush the strands of chocolate hair off of his forehead, as you press your soft lips to his skin. You could never have imagined how that chance meeting would change your life. You chew your lower lip as you pull away.

His warm brown eyes meet yours. His mouth opens to speak but closes, leaving only a warm smile in reply to your touch.

You scratch lightly over his lush beard, savoring the coarse texture against the pads of your fingertips. Your own smile spreads as your gazes lock together.

This was good for him. He needed this break in the country as much as you did. It had become somewhat of a retreat for you. Your family was not thrilled with your choice of partner. Despite his status and education, as an Alienist, he was considered a less than ideal match. Your parents had even offered to support your wild pursuits to become an artist to dissuade your interest in him, but it was too late. Neither of you cared much what others thought about your pairing. The world was changing, and so were you. You and Laszlo would press forward carving a path that fit your ideals, not that of the masses.

The two of you needed each other more than you could have realized. You needed his understanding, disregard for conventions, and the way he challenged you in ways society could not. He needed your kindness, generosity, but most of all, light.

The details had brought you together, but it was in these quiet moments when the two of you could just be that your love blossomed. It was where your relationship developed and spoke louder than words ever could.

Laszlo captures your hand in his good one and brings it to his lips, brushing feathery kisses on your skin. Your eyes close, relishing his tender affection. It wasn't often you had him all to yourself, so you treasured moments like this.

Your free hand continues stroking gently through his hair, letting him rest in your care. The glow of the sun bathes you in its warmth as the gentle breeze wraps you in its comfort. You stay nestled together, just the two of you, in the quiet, letting your adoration speak for itself.

A/N#2: Thank you so much for reading! I'm not sure how often I will write Kreizler, but if you liked this and are interested in more, please like, comment, and/or reblog. I truly appreciate every interaction. Also, if you'd like to be tagged in future fics, let me know.

[lorkai]

🌺 Title: One More Life

🌺 Summary: There is no future without learning the mistakes of the past, but there is also no past without the hope of a better future. And to repair mistakes or to make things better, a child is dragged into a tragic history of coups d'état, deaths and re-concessions.

🌺 Words: 4096

🌺 Notes: Some may remember that I already posted this story here, but I decided to rewrite this chapter. Hope you like it.

🌺 Warnings: Mention of dismemberment, explicit death, gore. Please check the tags for more.

The closed clouds formed strange patterns over the faint sunlight that ended on the horizon, red and orange slowly disappearing, leaving behind a thin trail of snow. And despite the hours, the children ran over the lights of the lanterns that they carried in their small hands, without knowing what was close to happening. Their laughter would be remembered in young Morgana's mind for a long time. Everyone was happy, after all it was the Harvest Festival - affectionately nicknamed the Demon Race by the girl - it was the day when her Lord liked to send his little soldiers to face demons that he summoned to see how much they had evolved with their magic and spells, that always happened at the end of the night.

Morgana did not grow up in a good or happy place, but she had no choice but to follow what her Lord commanded. The organization he worked for was also not a good place if she remembered correctly, there were so many experiments going on, so much pain and cries of help echoing through those walls that would never come out of the young girl's head or anyone who heard them. It was terrifying.

And in the dark of the old empty hut, she sat. Chained at the ankles by a metal pillar. The dark did not frighten her any more than the task entrusted to her, hunting demons, killing them and bringing their hearts to her Lord. Morgana hated that time of year, hated the snow pulling her down and the cold so intense to freeze her bones, and on top of that she hated the magic that came out of her hands and the blood that spread through her fingers afterwards. She hated the throbbing of the organ in her hands and even more that sadistic smile on the face of the man who had taught her so much about magic. But she had no choice, not yet.

"Your folly is amazing, my dear." Said a well-known voice, making Morgana turn around. It took her eyes to get used to seeing something in the immense darkness that surrounded her, but when she finally found him she started to massage her temples in search of momentary relief. It was Toby, a small, transparent ghost who wore bloody rags of clothes that looked from the 1800s. He was, unfortunately, the girl's dead brother, now a ghost bound to accompany her.

"What would you have done?" She replied, showing her hands chained by heavy metal. She didn't want to have to deal with the ghost now.

"I sure as hell wouldn't be pretending to be a good girl, waiting for someone to give me an order. Morg, you must take the chance to escape. They plan to summon a strong demon this time... What was the name again? Diavovo? Dialovo?" Toby yelled, crossing his arms. He floated to the other end of the cell, tossing a thick, old black leather book from hand to hand. And contrary to his angry tone, the ghost seemed calm, stopping beside his sister to hand her the book. "Whatever! You know the Demon Race is the closest thing you have to an opportunity to escape."

"Patience, my dear. I can't rush the sand into the hourglass any more than it can." She said, mysterious. Her fingers traced the pattern of unfamiliar letters and she smiled, feeling the strong magic so familiar that emanated from that Grimoire. The book that belonged to each of her brothers was hers now and she asked that it be useful in her journey. "Can't run away now, brother. This isn't the time. Also, you know what B would say."

"I don't care what that traitor has to say to me! He wasn't there when you or our brothers begged for help, he isn't here now to save you." the ghost grunted grudgingly and crossed his arms over his chest, seeming to adopt a defensive posture. "I insist you use this to escape, there's a very useful spell here. Take a look."

Morgana looked. It was the old book that passed from sibling to sibling in her family, but she never read it and didn't even know her secrets. Its pages were old and fragile, yellowed, she analyzed the strange letters forming strange words – it was an unknown language that was written there, but little by little the words moved and began to form sentences that the girl knew and understood. Spells appeared over the pages and she let out a big sigh this time, one of relief. Toby moved closer to her. "There are some spells you won't understand, Lothos made sure the younger ones wouldn't understand. So I can translate what you don't understand." The ghostly fingers roamed the pages with great nostalgia as he read her the simplest spells, almost overjoyed that she couldn't read in the dark.

And she was looking at him even through the dim light from a lantern, but it pained her to nurture his hopes when she herself knew she might die at any moment. She wasn't going to run away from Cosmos, no, she was going to destroy them inside and save those who could be saved. The emotion she felt at the moment couldn't be explained, she was happy to have him around and hear his voice, but she didn't feel his touch, his heat. Anyway, that moment was almost enough to make her forget what was going to happen within the next few minutes. There was a noise that disconcerted her and made her close the book with a bang, she quickly stuffed it into the pocket of the dress she was wearing. And she waited.

She looked at the figure standing over the wooden door, the light shining over his head as he chuckled softly. Then she noticed that he was shaking the human head of a child much younger than she was, and his red eyes glowed with excitement, watching the blood trickle across the floor of the cell. "He deserved it, he was making so much noise when I whipped him. But I like to think of it as his good luck gift." He threw his head towards the girl, falling to her feet. The child's transparent eyes stared at her, hot blood running in abundance over her legs and onto the floor. A horrendous image. She tried to move away but the chains stopped her.

"Too bad. His voice was so beautiful when he screamed." He commented and removed a cork of keys from his pocket, walking very calmly towards his expressionless pupil. He seemed to root for her to cry, for her to scream so he could punish her, but that didn't happen. He released her from the chains slowly as the blood on his hands smeared her and made her shiver even more, he pulled back far enough so that she could get up and seemed to find the sounds of bones cracking amusing. "Project K is almost perfected, so no failures will be tolerated. Stay still."

Morgana pressed one hand against the other, bracing herself. He handed her a red pill and watched as she swallowed without question. The burning sensation that engulfed her body was almost unbearable, causing her to fall to her knees and bring her hand to her throat. And anger filled her as her lord laughed to the point of being in tears. The pill he handed her must have been an improved version of the drug they were creating, she felt like she was being ripped from the inside out and blood leaked from her mouth as her vision glowed. Everything about her body ached, Toby and His lord went out and into focus. His voices mingled in her head as she vomited more blood.

"There, there." Her lord pulled her to her feet, using a spell to stop the bleeding. He patted her head lovingly as he smiled and she leaned closer to the contact, albeit involuntarily. His gestures didn't match what he was saying at all, but it took her a few more moments to process that. "It's going to be alright honey so don't let us down. I know you can do it, now go." He gently guided her out of the hut and closed the door slowly. A barrier was erected as soon as the girl was thrown out, to protect him. And she heard him laugh. Maybe he imagined all the bodies he would have on his worktable in the morning. Perhaps he had imagined a morbid joke. She didn't want to know.

"Are you okay?" Toby questioned. "Do you feel pain anywhere?"

"I am fine, brother." She analyzed the landscape around them. Shady trees, whose roots were hidden by snow, rose so high that their leaves and branches almost completely obscured the dim moonlight. This was a perfect place for demons to come to hide waiting for a meal, a subtle black trail of sulfur could be discerned through the tree branches. The smell also did not hide that there were demons there. She looked up at her brother, stifling a moan of pain as she smiled so as not to worry him. "Where are we going?"

"Demons everywhere. Three of them are northwest, seventy meters and they're strong. But there are two weaker ones you can kill easily, ten meters away. This way." Toby pointed, starting to follow a narrow path between some crooked trees, destroyed by the force of some demon. He heard Morgana walking behind him and her teeth gnashed so hard that he felt sorry for her, he couldn't feel the cold or heat anymore due to his condition, but he remembered now that she wasn't so lucky. The fine clothes she wore couldn't protect her from the incessant cold, that was a punishment and even she knew it. She had failed in her last mission, so it made sense to let her suffer her own luck. He knew she wouldn't survive like this and they had little time for it. Unfortunately she couldn't use any fire-based spells either because the scent would alert the demons.

Toby stopped his sister with a wave of his hand, gesturing to the pockets of her dress. "I almost forgot, but there's a spell in the Grimoire you can use to keep yourself warm. Let me show you."

"You know the cold can't kill me, even if it hurts" She warned him, giving a half laugh that was followed by several sneezes. Toby frowned as if he didn't quite believe his sister, signaling to himself as if he was setting an example. "Right, but that won't happen, brother."

"Enough stubbornness and give me the Grimoire. We have to be quick." Morgana let out a huff of indignation as she pulled the book out of her pockets and opened it, after glancing from side to side to make sure no one else was there. She created a sphere of light and illuminated the pages while a short wave of wind caused by the ghost opened the right page. He whispered the spell to her once, twice. Then she chanted it aloud and felt something warm run through her body, strengthening her. "Back to the subject... Use the Grimoire." He muttered looking directly at the book in her hands, with puppy eyes.

Morgana was preparing to give him an answer not as kind and patient as the others, but she was silent. She hid behind a tree when she heard a thin scream very close by. It had started. Really started. Limb by limb and the sound of flesh being ripped off was heard through the forest loud and clear, she covered her mouth with her hand so that no sound escaped her and signaled for the ghost to see what was happening.

"Looks like we found them, yay." Toby muttered grudgingly, his fingers making hollow sounds against the trees he touched. The feeling of running or fighting was never higher than when he approached some supernatural being, not that the ghost had seen more than other ghosts and lost souls, but he knew a thing or two. Finally he went to his sister, almost exasperated. "If you insist on following your role, the audience awaits your show, little star. They say they want to see his heart."

"If you insist." The girl whispered something in a low tone with her hands clasped together as if to pray and from the center of her hands flaming chains ripped the skin until they huddled together, moving of their own accord. Morgana was smiling. And she moved faster than Toby's eyes could see, like furious lightning. Toby ran to accompany her, without worry. He had seen a lot of that happen over the years. And it came as no surprise to him when he saw Morgana manipulating the chains and lifting the demon's body by one, two, three, four meters from the ground, hearing him scream when his arms and legs were broken, twisted at odd angles. Bones exposed on his skin. Black blood trickled over the snow as he screamed profanities.

"I really didn't want to do this." A deep, husky voice came from the girl's lips as she laughed, enjoying the smell of burning flesh. The chains slowly burned the entire demon's body, to the point that she would have ripped his heart out of his chest before he died. "But the grains of sand can only fall into the hourglass when it is time for them to fall."

"You are the disgusting witch that everyone talks about!" The demon screamed, blood dripping from his mouth. He struggled against the chains, but the more he struggled and screamed, the more the chains tightened.

"The only one but I think you don't like me that much, too bad." Morgana made a single movement that threw the demon on the ground and she approached him, pulling a red blade from her pocket that she would use to kill him. The demon tried to fight the chains, struggling, forcing its wings to work to get him out of there. But the girl kicked him in the face and commanded the chains to hold him more tightly. Toby flinched when he heard the sound of more bones being broken. "You had to be a low level one, it smells like sulfur. Shame on you, someone of your level would never be able to kill me." And then she sank the blade into the demon's chest. More blood flowed as she stabbed again and again, feeling it tremble beneath her small body, laughing when she saw life abandon the weak entity.

Toby yelled after her that he was dead, but she only stopped stabbing him when he was reduced to an unrecognizable mass of flesh. The white dress she wore was black, filled with demonic blood. She looked down at her hands with something akin to curiosity, then she looked down at the body and for a moment she couldn't make out anything that had happened there. "Fuck, this shit is scary every time. Morg, you...?"

"I'm fine, silly." She returned the chains back into her hands as she grunted in pain, the next moment her palms were intact as if they had never been injured. She got up quickly, muttering aggressively that she would have to find another demon now that she couldn't take the one she'd just killed, so she stepped away from the dead body and looked around. The sun wasn't even close to rising yet and she had plenty of time, but she also knew that failing couldn't be an option. Not this time. She has seen what happened to those who failed and it was something much worse than what happened to that demon at her feet. There were so many limbs and guts out of a body while her lord was using poisons and having fun, she didn't even need an anatomy book to tell the difference between a lung and a tibia. She wouldn't be next - between failing here and being next, she could freeze to death.

"You went into a trance again." Toby sighed, if he was alive he would probably be shaking. "Are you wondering about your next target?" Morgana nodded.

"Far away. About forty meters. But they are powerful." Toby tried to concentrate to find out something else, but he didn't have much to feel. They were powerful entities without a doubt, if they were strong to face the girl or not he did not know and did not want to know, he wanted her to run away. But there was only a little he could force her to do. The ghost watched as she seemed to consider whether she was going after them or not, but stopped walking before she could state her thoughts. There was a dismembered body in front of them. The head was tied to a tree as if it were a sinister pinata, a wide smile from cheek to cheek still frozen on the face. Blood dripping still. It was recent. She gasped and tried to walk away, but she felt something hot and hard on her feet that made her stop. Something that the faint light of the moon illuminated very well, she stepped on top of the corpse's guts.

"All this for what, I wonder sometimes. So many dead children, so many tormented spirits. If the fate had been different they could have been happy away from this misery." Toby whispered so quietly that even a breeze made more noise. He tried to pull her away, despite being cruelly reminded that he couldn't touch her. He was just a lost voice over others inside his own sister's head, so he did what he could. He caught her eye and pointed to a safe place.

"Because they are all too cowardly to fight for what they want, so they train us and use us," Morgana shivered with rage when tears came to her eyes, her fist closed on the blade that was just used in the poor devil's murder. "We are weapons in a war that we do not even know when it will happen. But it will be all right because I will destroy Cosmos and free all who still live, even if I die trying, I will drag those motherfuckers to hell with me!"

"Oh, now you're talking like yourself, good little girl." She felt the speck of happiness in the ghost's voice, even with all the sarcasm he dripped from each syllable. "Morgana, the girl who wanted to save the witches. Sounds like a good title for a biography." Toby continued to tease.

"I won't save them, wizards, humans, they both always think they're above everyone else. I'm just going to free them and then go home. Or what's left of our house. They can handle their problems on their own." Morgana sighed, crouching for a moment in the mud to undo an exploding trap. She eyed the device curiously before standing up and following the ghost further into the forest. The trees gave way to a brighter place, a snowy field opened up for them. A frozen river was mere steps ahead, their reflection was reflected under the stars and moon. There, the girl almost looked livid. A confirmation that her dead brother really was by her side - not that she didn't know it, but she thought she was crazy after everything she'd been through there.

"What are you going to do?" Toby asked, floating around her. She shrugged with a cynical laugh.

"I have all the information to destroy them, but I need time and resources," She explained taking a big breath to try to warm up, but she failed and she shivered. "We will complete this ridiculous task and we will go back to the base."

"Or you can open a..." Toby tried to dissuade her like an annoying good brother, but he stopped in mid-sentence and turned with confusion hovering over his face. And for the first time he was serious. If he could go pale with fear, he would surely be now. Although he was tired of running around, protecting the girl, he knew that every year was the same thing. But as he said hours earlier, her lord had summoned stronger demons this year. And the ghost felt three of them behind them at that moment. The same ones he didn't know if his sister would be able to defeat.

He pointed out to Morgana that she should start walking slowly and quietly to get as far away from the hiding demons as possible. Stumbling and almost slipping, Toby pushed his human and hoped that no one would appear. To his displeasure, Morgana started sneezing and coughing up blood again, he felt her magic get out of control and he cursed himself for letting her drink that strange pill the old man had given her. A lot of things could go wrong, but he really hoped nothing would happen now. The bushes moved and branches broke, and when Toby looked around there were three demons staring at Morgana with a desire to take her soul. The young girl was on the verge of a breakdown and he knew that her magic would be as unstable as every other time that she drank that pill.

"Can i do this?" He heard his sister swear in pain. "Do it, brother."

 He looked at her before taking possession of her body as he had already done before. The cold she felt, he felt. The feelings and thoughts she had were his now. And with that, he moved his hands very quickly when he realized that the demons were approaching and surrounding them quickly. A great barrier separated them and prevented them from attacking it. It was weak and so he started running while he still had time, looking for a place he could use to keep his sister's body warm and safe until he thought of something.

"Bloody hell, what a shit situation, Morg!" Toby grunted, but now in a hoarse and dragged tone. He did not know how long he looked for shelter or how much time he spent running, but he knew that the presences were approaching again and this time much more aggressive. He heard the murmurs of disdain and sarcasm, and he feared for his sister's life. He saw the horns slowly came out of their heads, small and sharp, twisted to the sides and long black wings with emaciated feathers punctuating out of their backs.

'We are going to die!', Toby thought, no longer able to continue. 'This is all B's fault!'

"Look, Apoliom, Belial! Such a brilliant soul. Will you want to?" One of the demons commented to his friends in a tone of immense mockery, lifting the girl by her white hair and smiling when she struggled to get out of his grip. Unsuccessfully. Toby tried to use the chains, but the most that came out of the palms of Morgana's hands was smoke. And it made the demons laugh hysterically.

"If you're going to eat her soul, do it soon. We have to go back sooner or we are going to have problems." Apoliom murmured with great disinterest in the situation, but he wanted to know how someone so young had a soul as brilliant as those. "We're already full." Belial shrugged. "Hurry up!"

The demon's face seemed to melt like candle wax, revealing a hideous face of muscle, and his eyes went the blackest shade Toby had ever seen. He leaned forward, encouraged by the other two friends who had already satisfied their hunger, he opened his mouth ready to suck Morgana's soul, and if Toby still had one, his too.

But a very bright light suddenly blinded all the demons. It was hot. Intense. Angry and calm in the same proportion. There were screams of pain and curses thrown at random, but the light just kept expanding and expanding. And a flood of warm feelings went through the ghost's chest and he knew that this sensation reached Morgana somewhere in her tired mind, he felt that she fell into a deep sleep, warmed by that light. Her body finally fell, but not in the snow. In a pair of firm and gentle arms that lifted the small body. The demons were forgotten, expelled, although not even Toby was able to remain lucid for a long time, visibly affected by using possession for so long.

"The only survivor, we are going to take her with us, Barbatos."

[yamithediaperdork]

Just a pup (inuyasha)

Kagome smirked as she looked out the window of her bedroom, watching as Inuyasha popped out of the well looking excited and blushing. It was the second Friday of the month, which per the agreement the two of them agreed on, meant it was Inuyasha's punishment night.

Many of their friends, and well, ANYONE who knew Inuyasha would of been shocked to learn that the bad ass demon slayer was a natural submissive, who got his rocks off being ordered around and teased by people weaker then him, and more to the point, being spanked like a naughty little boy. Lord knows Kagome had been shocked when he confess (Well shocked and amused) and she had agreed to humor the silly pup and spend the second and fourth Friday of every month making him a little bitch, the First and third were romantic date nights.

With date nights in the past (it was just easier to get a seat at a inn then a fancy restaurant in the present) and punishment nights in the present (So no one heard Inuyasha yowling for mercy, They timed it for when Kagome's mom and grandpa would take Souta out to a movie) it was working out to a point, though Inuyasha had started to phone in his half of the deal to Kagome's annoyance.

'Well after tonight he'll know what to expect if he can't measure up~' She thought with a evil little giggle, then went down to meet him at the door.

Inuyasha couldn't help but grin like a fucking school girl as Kagome answered the door, giggling softly. He didn't quite understand why he wanted to be dominated when he hated being hurt (a big part in picking Kagome to punish him, At her hardest she barely hurt his behind, though he played it up like she was killing him) But he knew he was at his hardest when she abused him.

"About time Pup. Your five minutes late." Kagome said, sneering at him and making his cock twitch in his pants.

He knew of course he was on time, it was all part of the role play.

"I'm sorry Miss Kagome, I couldn't help it." Inuyasha mewed, looking down at the floor, his ears drooping, and trying not to grin.

"Oh you'll be sorry alright~" She said and grabbed him by the collar and lead the way to her room. "Though I have a surprise for you my dirty little pup."

"O-Oh?" Inuyasha asked, though he was distracted by a scent in the air as they got to the second story of the house. it was familiar but there's no way it could be what he was thinking it was.

"A yup~ I've noticed that despite all the wailing and whining you do, I'm not really hurting your cute little butt." Kagome said, opening the door to her room.

And sitting on her bed, holding the fire harden wooden paddle with holes drilled into it to cut down on air resistance, was Koga.

"So I asked Koga to help me give you the punishment you sooo seem to need and want. Your welcome." Kagome giggled as Inuyasha froze, blushing and then snarling.

"Now now Pup, none of that!" Koga ordered. "We both know a fight between us would be a draw, but think of how much everyone back home would loooove to hear about what a little fucking wimp you are, that you beg to be spanked and stepped." Koga said, smirking and wagging a finger.

The thought of all of his other friends and well, everyone that they both knew knowing what a little bitch he was took the fight out of Inuyasha, even as his cock twitched and throbbed and tented out his pants, a small damp spot appeared from pre.

"I..but..Kagommmme! the deal wa-" Inuyasha turned his attention to his mistress/girlfriend, but was cut off.

"The deal was I dominate your subby bitch ass and get romantic dates in exchange. do you recall what our 'date' was Pup?" Kagome asked, frowning and shaking her head, and trying not to laugh at how hard Inuyasha was despite looking so mad and scared.

"W-We had a picnic by the lake an-"

"And you spent half of it whining about me not bringing any ramen cups and the other half chasing fish in the water because you didn't like the pasta dish I made for you." Kagome said, glaring.

"O-Oh uh..I'm sorry?" Inuyasha said/asked and poked his index fingers together.

"Like I said before, you WILL be. Koga here knows how to treat bad little pups like you and has lots of fun ideas planned out, and all he wants in return is a little loving." Kagome coo'ed.

"Y-Your not gonna.. with him..are you?" Inuyasha whined, but his cock was leaking big time now.

"Of course I am..Maybe He'll last longer then 30 seconds..Of course if you're THAT against me getting fucked by a real man, someone who doesn't need to be scolded like a naughty little boy..you could always ride Koga." Kagome giggled. "Lords knows you love it when I finger you."

"Heh, Hey I'm a open guy, as long as i get to fuck a nice tight hole i'm game." Koga laughed.

"but..but.." Inuyasha mewed.

"That's right, in your butt..or you mouth. actually yeah, Your gonna wanna suck it first." Koga said, chuckling and gesturing Inuyasha over with a finger. "Now enough of this huffing and puffing and whining, the longer you put this off, the more likely it is more people are gonna find out what a subby little bitch you are."

Inuyasha knew he should just storm out. or at least try and fuck Koga's shit up, even though the wolf demon was right that they were basically equals and would only in a draw. there was a lot of should of's.. but in the end Inuyasha's body betrayed him and he hooked his thumbs in the waistline of his pants and dropped, them, then walked over and knelled in front of Koga, who chuckled and patted his head.

"Good puppy."

Koga found himself a little jealous as he looked down at Inuyasha. just wasn't fair that a total bitch like him could have such a huge piece of fuck meat, 9 1/2 inches when Koga was only a 'mere' 7, though Koga's was thicker.

"Since you went and wasted time with all your whining and bitch, I think you owe me a little something to make up for wasting my time." Koga said, press his bare foot on the tip of Inuyasha's cock, not hard enough to hurt but the puppy let out a whimper even as his cock leaked on Koga's foot.

"Y-Yes Sir. I'm sorry sir." Inuyasha mewed softly.

"The bottom of my feet are dirty from walking to the well and coming though JUST to humor you, so I think they deserve a little tongue bath, don't you?" Koga asked, shifting his weight around on his foot and then switching up, Inuyasha's cock juice coating his soles.

"Heh, Really? I don't usually make him do THAT." Kagome giggled, sitting back and enjoying the show.

"Well I dare say he enjoys the idea." Koga chuckled, raising a foot for her to see the pre all over it,then held it in front of Inuyasha's face. "I'm waiting~"

He was actually testing to see how far he could push the little bitch, and if Inuyasha had outright refused well he'd just make up for it with the paddling. Instead though Inuyasha's cute pink tongue darted out, taking quick fast licks on the sole of of his foot.

"Pfttttt Bwhahahaha!" Kagome laughed. "No way!"

"Heh, good boy Inuyasha, however I want long heel to toe licks. so you get the full experience." Koga instructed.

"Y-Yes sir. Sorry." Inuyasha whined, closing his eyes and leaning in.

"Ah ah ah, and eyes open and looking at me while you do it. I know this is your first time worshiping a alpha males feet so I'm be nice, but we DO have to nip bad habits in the bud~" Koga chuckled.

The half demon nodded and locked eyes with Koga, as much as he could as he slurped and licked away on foot, only closing them when hitting super foul tasting spots on Koga's foot. when the first one was clean, Koga simply offered up the other one and made small talk with Kagome while Inuyasha worked, as if he was just a object.

when it was all over Koga held his feet up, using Inuyasha's shoulders to do see and had Kagome inspect them.

"Hmm yup, they're spotless. Good to know I have a good widdle foot licker I can count on to take care of my feet every night. you wouldn't believe how dirty and smelly they get walking everywhere." Kagome said and Inuyasha whimpered.

"Oh, you don't like that idea pup?" Koga asked, smirking. "It's ok if you only like to worship men's feet. I always figured you played for both teams."

"N-No! I'll lick Kagome's feet!" Inuyasha protested.

"Awww! that's so cute! you think you had a choice!" Kagome squealed and with Koga's feet down she was gonna give him a hug and a kiss, then pulled back and held her nose. "Yuck! foot breath!"

"Yeahhh you're gonna wanna keep lots of mints around if you wanna kiss him after he's been cleaning your feet." Koga laughed as Inuyasha squirmed. "That or just don't kiss him anymore."

"Hmm I'll have to think about that."

"I..but.." Inuyasha whined, turning back and forth looking at both of them.

"Pup, stop fussing and get over my lap, it's time for your reward for being SUCH a good little foot bitch." Koga said, patting his lap.

"...Yes sir." Was all the defeated by his own perverted desires half demon could say, and he got over Koga's lap.

Laying over Koga's lap Inuyasha could feel just how 'excited' this turn of events was making the wolf demon, Koga's manhood was poking him in the tummy.

'a manhood that'll end up in me..or Kagome..All because I couldn't be a good boyfriend.' Inuyasha thought.

He'd never pictured being spanked by anther man, or having to clean someones feet and yet here he was and the most damnable thing of it all was his hard-on wouldn't go away!

his leaking manhood was dangling as Koga kept his legs spread but Inuyasha was fairly certain he was gonna be cumming ropes before long.

'Maybe once I nut I'll be able to clearly..' He thought, then Koga's voice drew his attention.

"Now Inuyasha, as I understand it, Kagome spanks you for 10 minutes., a time length I'm willing to match but I will let you end it early if it's too much for you. All you have to do is say 'Daddy pwease stop!' However if you do that, Or if you wet yourself or cum, you're little bitch ass will be going in diapers for the rest of the night." Koga said and nodded to Kagome who tugged out a pack of thick, nursery print diapers and smirked.

"...What?!" Inuyasha yelped trying to get out of Koga's lap and being held in place with ease, his own submissive nature keeping him for going all out to break free.

"I didn't stutter. But hey, it's ALL you, all you have to do is keep your bladder and cock under control, and take my paddling like a good boy! You can do that can't you?" Koga challenged.

"Yes!" Inuyasha huffed while thinking 'No!'

"of course even if you pee or nut, the spanking will go on till the time limit is up, but every 'accident' means one diaper.. Hope you're not big on repeat performances because I WILL put your butt in that whoooole pack if you 'earn' it." Koga chuckled.

"Is it weird I'm finding the idea of him in huggies while we fuck hawt?" Kagome asked, biting her lip.

"Not at all, we all have our kinks!" Koga said cheerfully and tapped the paddle lightly on Inuyasha's butt. "Right pup?"

"Yes daddy!" Inuyasha said then covered his mouth as Kagome and Koga laughed.

Watching her boyfriend/bitch quiver over Koga's lap, Kagome had no doubt that Inuyasha was gonna be in at least 3 diapers, the little bitch liked to edge himself for at least 3 hours a day on the week when he'd be getting spanked.

'Hell, forget three, I might have to go out and get anther pack of diapers!' Kagome thought, her folds getting damp as she pictured Inuyasha in a massive diaperzilla hugging a teddy bear and watching her get fucked. 'Huh..Kink unlocked.' She mused.

She was drawn out of her little fantasy as the first swat stuck and she could almost feel the force of the blow herself and winced.

the effect on Inuyasha's was almost cartoonish, his semi bubble butt seemed to deform around the force of the paddle as Inuyasha's mouth dropped open and his eyes went wide.

Before he could even begin wailing (which followed quickly enough) Koga stuck anther 3 blows on the pup's backside, quickly turning it bright red and then the howling and sobbing came.

'Damn, 4 blows in about ten seconds..Inuyasha's not gonna be able to sit for a week!'

As blows 5 6 7 and 8 hit Inuyasha was a blubbering mess and couldn't even talk right as a massive cum shot hit the floor.

"Wow that didn't take long." Koga teased. "Kagome could you be a dear and keep count, I don't think our little puppy is gonna be able to."

"of course~" Kagome cooed, and ripped open the package of diapers, taking one out and setting it on the desk next to her, then she winked at Inuyasha. "I think you might wanna toss in the towel pup.. It hasn't even been a minute yet."

"I-I'll never gi- AH FUCK!" Inuyasha had been in the middle of declaring his iron will, how he'd never give up when the paddle started to come down on his red cheek and reduce him back to sobbing and crying, kicking his legs and pounding his fists but there was no way out for him.

Kagome gave up trying to count the blows and just watched Inuyasha's useless big cock swing back and forth and seeing it twitch and tremble at the 2 minute mark got ready to pull out a second diaper, and wasn't disappointed when he indeed fired off again.

"Wow Inuyasha, you much REALLY like being Koga's bitch! Normally you only cum ONCE for me!" Kagome teased. "Or was it worshiping his feet first just primed you up?" She snickered.

Inuyasha couldn't even try and reply, at least with words, but but his body did and Kagome pulled out a third diaper.

Koga had to give Inuyasha credit, the mutt had lasted five minutes so far, which was four more then Koga had counted on. Of course he wasn't going all out either as he wanted Inuyasha able to walk. The pup was up to 6 diapers, and Koga was glad Kagome had insisted on putting down a puppy housebreaking pad since only five of the diapers were from cum shots.

Inuyasha had stopped fighting and was just taking the blows now, and if Koga didn't know any better the half demon seemed to be raising his buns up to meet the paddle.

"C-Come On.. That all you g-got?" Inuyasha said, sniffling and giving a impish grin as he looked over his shoulder.

'Ohhh he's adapted to the pain.. heh..and thinks he's got my number.. adorable.'

"Actually I've been holding back..Trying to be nice. but since you want full force." Koga said,Smiling like he was offering Inuyasha a treat for being a good boy and trying not to laugh at the look of terror on Inuyasha's face.

"Y-Your bluffing!" Inuyasha squealed.

"Heh, I dunno pup, I think he has been, since he'd have to make this last 10 whole minutes." Kagome chimed in, a hand down the front of her panties. "But go ahead, flip that coin. I'm loving the show."

Koga raised his arm up and got ready to deliver a full on blow to Inuyasha's red and bruised back side when Inuyasha screamed, wet himself and JUST before the paddle could hit..

"Daddy pwease stop!" Came out of his mouth.

The paddle stopped though the force from it made the pup's red bubble butt ripple and Koga chuckled as Kagome huffed.

"Boooo!" She whined.

"Now now Kagome, a deal's a deal. Inuyasha, go and stand with your nose in the corner while we clean up and get your DIAPERS ready." Koga said, tugging Inuyasha up in his lap and trying not to melt as the sniffling and sobbing pup hugging him and nodded.. giving Koga a kiss on the cheek before going to the corner.

'If I didn't know any better I'd say someones getting a crush on me.' Koga thought, then him and Kagome started to take care of the clean up.

Nose in the corner and his butt on fire, Inuyasha fought the urge to rub his cheeks since good boys took their lickings. he was confused as to why he had smooched Koga and tried to just play it off as caught up in the mood though as he waited for the ok to come out of the corner he caught himself almost sucking on his thumb three times.

Between the claw on his thumb and how sharp his fangs were he knew THAT wouldn't end well and just shifted from foot to foot.

"Don't tell me you need to use the potty before we diaper you up little guy? You already did two super piddles!" Kagome asked, clearly mistaking his fidgeting for a potty dance.

"N-No Sowwy.." Inuyasha called.

"Well if you wanna try and uh-oh before you go back in diapers, let us know." Koga said.

"Oh? your gonna be that nice?" Kagome asked.

"..Do you really want your room to smell like a poopie diaper?" Koga pointed out

"..Touche...Inuyasha go sit on the potty and try and boom boom!" Kagome ordered, a little too fast.

Inuyasha didn't really feel the need to go, but knew better then to argue and walked by, seeing them laying out the seven diapers and cutting slits in the front and back.

5 minutes later, after giving it a honest try and just pooting on the bowl, Inuyasha walked back in and looked at the massive diaper they had put together for him, apparently taking the time to glue the diapers together to make sure they wouldn't sag.

"Ready to go back into huggies pup?" Koga asked, smiling and grinning, kneeling by the diapers.

Kagome meanwhile was Naked and on the bed, tapping her fingers on the bed frame impatient to get her fun for the night.

"Do I really have a choice?" Inuyasha asked, poking his index fingers together.

it was odd, he was still aroused but for some reason, his wonderful piece of fuck meat was drooping now between his legs.

"heh, not really." Koga said.

"So hurry up! Someone us wanna get laid tonight!" Kagome whined, then glared as Inuyasha blew a raspberry at her. "Koga, spank him again."

"Wait what!?" Inuyasha yelped, and his hands went to his poor bruised backside.

"I don't think I'll have time to spank him and fuck you Kagome." Koga said, sweat dropping.

"finnne just hurry upppp!"She whined.

"Sheesh, are you sure she doesn't need a diaper too daddy?" Inuyasha asked, grinning impishly as he walked over and plopped down on the diapers, feeling like he'd sat on a thick pillow and stirring up some baby powder.

"Hey!" Kagome huffed, blushing.

"heh, Inuyasha, be good. Kagome, settle down." Koga said, shaking his head a little and then quickly got Inuyasha tapped up nice and snug in the diapers and kissed his forehead.

He also reached and grabbed a stuffed dog he'd taken from Souta's room and gave it to Inuyasha to hug and cuddle, then stood up and started to strip.

"Alright Inuyasha, I want you to pay attention and watch how a MAN fucks a woman. you might ONE day be able to please a lady, though I think it's more likely your sex life if gonna be getting spanked and diapered from now on." Koga said, and winked. "and from the look's of things, you don't mind."

Inuyasha went to argue that and then looked down, realizing he'd gotten hard from the mental image of never getting pussy again.

He could of said it was the attention, he could of claimed it was because he knew he was about to get a show..but what Inuyasha did instead was hug the stuffie to his chest and nod.

"Yes daddy."

Somehow seeing her boyfriend reduced to a oversized baby had Kagome hotter then she'd ever been, and as long as he didn't fill the back of the diapers she could see A LOT fun in the future with him in diapers and being cucked.

Of course the fact that Koga was thicker then Inuyasha and would hopefully last longer might of had something to do with it.

Laying on her back and spreading her legs, she looked up at Koga with loving eyed and coo'ed out a plea. "Take me~" feeling like this was some sort of romantic novel...and only to have Koga show apparently all demons could be stupid as he got a confused look on his face.

"Uh..But I thought you wanted to fuck..where am I taking you?" he asked.

"..Demon's..Just stick it in me already." She muttered, face palming.

"Humans.." he muttered and then thrusted into her in one fast motion and grinned as she barked.

As Koga went to work and Kagome found herself unable to speak, she did have enough brain power as she was fucked into bliss think about how many, just maybe.. she shouldn't of assumed she could handle a thicker cock with ease.

Half a hour later and Kagome was left a quivering mess on her bed, drooling and eyes glazed over. Koga had given up trying to keep track of the orgasms she'd had compared to his but knew in the long run of things he was technicality the loser of the night, trailing behind Inuyasha and Kagome with a mere 3.

Licking her clean to improve her chances of not getting knocked up (He wasn't one of those prunes who couldn't handle their own flavor) he covered her up and opened a window to help get the sex smell out of the room, then looked over at Inuyasha.

the half demon had conked out early on in the love making, after squirting in his diapers and the stuffie was thankfully out of his grip even if it was damp with drool from Inuyasha making out with it.

'Now what do I do with him?' Koga thought, rubbing his chin, though his still ready for action cock had a answer even as he got dressed.

He had a inkling that it would be nothing but a headache for Kagome and the pup if he left him here like this, curled up on the floor in his diapers.

'I suppose it's my fatherly 'duty' to just take him with me.' Koga thought, smirking as he slowly scooped up the half demon.

There was no shortage of fun he could have with something like this back home, and heck, wasn't he always getting pestered to settle down and raise a cub of his own?

Two birds one stone.

He thought about leaving a note to explain to Kagome that he was taking Inuyasha with him, but then recalled that the chances of her being able to read wolf tribe were slim to none and besides, she was a clever girl.

Slipping out the window as a car was pulling in the driveway, Koga vanished into well with Inuyasha, musing how he had showed up to be a bull, and left a daddy.

The end

[muellercorn]

Happy International Women's Day! These are women involved in theatre that I believe have paved the future for female artists. I think it would be apt for you to read their names and stories and then let me know women who inspire you in the theatre world and how you think they're shaping the future. Reblog if you see your inspirations and share their stories.

1. Jennifer Kirby. We may only be 3 months into 2019, but I'm ready to call Jennifer Kirby woman of the year. At age 30, I'd already consider her a veteran of the RSC, a company where she has portrayed so many Shakespearean females with a new found voice and personality. She first appeared on our screens in Call The Midwife in 2016 as Nurse Valerie Dyer. From the start Val has faced some of the most brutal storylines, most involving the rights of women and the working class, and been an absolute inspiration due to her brave and loving personality. However over the last 8 weeks she has been the pioneer character of the most powerful women's rights stories I've seen in entertainment ever. If it hadn't been for Kirby's authentic, sensitive performance and her deep understanding of the human condition from women who've walked different lives from her own, this storyline would not have had the impact that it has. She never complains about a hard storyline either, when interviewers ask how difficult scenes were, her response is always one of gratitude enthusiasm and excitement for the changes it could bring about in society. I believe this will be the start of more powerful storylines for women in the media and moreover I know her performance has had a real life effect on society, changing and developing people's opinions and giving them fresh eyes to see other people's experiences through with sympathy and care.

2. Jessie Mueller. During her Broadway career this far, Mueller has portrayed some of the most complex women with such heart and integrity. She has proven endlessly that vulnerability and strength can coexist. In 2016 Jessie won the Lilly Award (awards for females making a difference in society) for best actress following her run as Jenna in Waitress. A not was left in the theatre's lobby saying that Jessie's heartfelt performance helped a woman decide to leave the abusive relationship she was in. Additionally Jessie has done countless benefits for charities benefiting women, is an activist for equal rights and a dedicated educator. Jessie has defied type casting and shown us all that we are not defined by anything but our hearts and work ethic.

3. Ruthie Ann Miles. Strength, power, inspiration - Ruthie is the true embodiment of all these things. Moreover she spreads happiness and joy, ever since I watched her win her Tony I just felt this overwhelming sense of happiness. This woman spreads light everywhere she goes and never fails to make me brim with happiness and smiles. In today's world we need a light and Ruthie truly is that light.

4. Marianne Elliott. To me, Marianne Elliott is the best theatre director of our times. Directing is a profession that is predominantly male dominated and I believe that Elliott will be one of the key figures in changing that. Her love for her work is evident in the current revival of Company a true highlight of the theatre scene in recent years. Her integrity, leadership skills and incredible visions have led to a groundbreaking piece of theatre for women.

5. Rosalie Craig. Her incredible portrayal of the 'new' Bobbie in the 2018 Company Revival has given an in depth, layered portrayal of a woman who is unapologetic for her decisions and personal internal debates. Craig brings so much to this role that you don't see Bobbie as promiscuous like expected but rather as someone simply living life making her own calls and it's absolutely refreshing and unique to see. Furthermore her talent is so stellar that it is guaranteed to inspire a generation of young performers.

6. Katrina Lenk. Resilience strikes me when I think of Katrina Lenk. Her break came in her 40s, prior to this she was relatively unknown in the mainstream theatre world however she never stopped working. Women are ingrained to believe their value decreases as they age, especially in the arts, however Katrina has proven that this is not true. We gain experience, life lessons, emotional qualities, skills and ethics that helps us grow as people and performers. When I think of Katrina Lenk I think of someone so driven by love rather than fame. Additionally, through the characters she portrayed, Katrina has given a voice to so many women who's stories would typically go untold.

7. Jessie Nelson. A valued part of the first all female Broadway creative team for Waitress, Nelson wrote the book for the musical and in doing so helped create a masterpiece and a true gift for all women who feel their story doesn't matter. She comprehensively understands what it means to be female, the importance of female friendship and the responsibility that came with writing a script like this. Thanks to Nelson we have a musical that honours our stories and inspires us to go out and speak of our own experiences. She helped create the living proof that female stories sell and I'm sure we will see many more following in its footsteps.

8. Paula Vogel. Scriptwriter, Vogel, first came to my intention when I first watched Indecent on Broadway HD. The main two things that hit me regarding women's rights upon watching the play, was the portrayal of sexuality between Dina and Ruth outside of the internal play 'God of Vengeance', this relationship is powerful and much more emotionally based than trying to portray lesbian relationships as sexual items for men's pleasure as many arts still find acceptable. Additionally at the start of the play when describing the casting type of each troupe member, Vogel avoids attaching gender to the description starting the tone with the message they desire to continue with, equality for all.

9. Eva Noblezada. I will never forget Noblezada's performance as Kim, I remember being truly in awe and inspired. Then when learning how young she was I was admired at her dedication to travel thousands of miles from home at such a young age in true dedication to telling a story she believes in. Miss Saigon has a story line so beautifully reflective of the maternal side of women and Noblezada's performance portrayed this beautifully showing the true fierce strength that women posses.

10. Hailey Kilgore. A Tony award nomination at age 19! That is more than enough to inspire. Additionally the profound and positive outlook Kilgore has about the world is beyond beautiful and heartwarming.

11. Patti Murin. I admire anyone who speaks out about mental illness and Murin does so so candidly that it is unbelievably inspirational. It's a daunting thing to do because mental illness can be mistaken for being 'overly emotional' or 'unreliable' and I commend Murin for speaking out anyway knowing what she is risking because it will remind an entire generation who struggle with their mental health not to give up because of it. Despite her struggles Murin's work is incredibly joyful and can brighten up any day.

12. Sara Bareilles. Always dedicated to writing her truth, Bareilles has never cabed into the pressure of writing a traditional love song at times when it didn't feel authentic to her. Being motivated to make art rather than money, Sara Bareilles has written so many anthems for women reminding them to feel and fight. Furthermore she's proved that you don't have to write songs about men to sell music, authenticity leads to success.

13. Adrienne Warren. This woman is a force. She is currently giving everything she's got to bring the empowering story of Tina Turner to life 8 times a week in the west end. She is the driving force of a vital story for women in society and she treats it with the importance and passion it deserves. Furthermore her social media is dedicated to educating people about equality for all in society.

14. Marin Mazzie. In September 2018 Marin lost her battle to Ovarain cancer but her legacy will pass from generation to the next. Her dedication to what she loved during her battle is the epitome of female strength, additionally she committed time to activism and raising awareness of ovarian cancer. To me 'Back to Before' - Ragtime is the ultimate theatre anthem for women's rights and Marin's recording and perspective is so moving and empowering that it has the ability to motivate anyone who listens to change the world.

15. Bernadette Peters. A true theatre icon Peters has wrestled with all the names in the book, the classic term 'Diva' that was constantly thrown around when a woman was so powerful and successful in their field that people didn't know how to react. I don't think anything will stop this woman..... I mean did you see the press ups on The View, in high heels and a dress! Icon! Furthermore this was the week before her 70th birthday. I don't think Peters will ever age in spirit or appearance but she embraces her age regardless, the host with held her name but Peters made it clear that she feels age shouldn't be hidden from as our value does not decrease in anyway. Her work in theatre and charity should be inspirational to all.

16. Lindsay Mendez. Firstly I admire any women dedicated to educating and teaching, like Lindsay is. I could say a lot about Lindsay, but I feel she says it best herself. She is true to her identity, body positive and wants to represent everyday people through her art, as we all should if we consider art as a mirror to society.

“When I moved to New York, I was told to change my last name from Mendez to Matthews, or I wouldn’t work. I’m so proud to be part of a community that celebrates diversity and individuality … Be your true self and the world will take note.”

"When you hear you’re going to audition for “Dogfight,” the show about bringing ugly women to parties, you’re like, ‘Oh, great, thank you.’ But that’s also our dream as actors, to play someone else and give someone else a voice. I love this character so much."

17. Cobie Smulders. Whilst filming HIMYM Cobie was privately battling Ovarian Cancer, she beat it and later went on to defy odds by having her own children. Her dedication to her art during this time is a testimony to her strength and will. Furthermore during her time on the show Cobie brought to life incredibly moving stories specific to women in society giving them a voice. She has since gone on to have a successful career in film and theatre and has a large voice in social activism. Her accounts about her battle with ovarian cancer will help to give so much support to women going through similar difficult times and hopefully raise awareness in others so they're able to detect this illness in early stages.

18. Ella Fitzgerald. To me Ella is the American song book, she is the voice of all the Gershwin, Porter, Berlin musicals that came to follow. She gave a voice to a minority and inspired so many people. She continues to inspire people when ever you listen to recordings of her and feel the raw emotion. The modern musical stands on Ella's shoulders.

19. Audra McDonald. SIX TONY AWARDS. She's defied every odd and stereotype by purely working hard and being a truly good person. She's inspired many people and shown us all that anything is possible when you're prepared to prove people wrong. Furthermore she always takes time to thank and honour those who came before her, the people who's shoulders she stands on and that to me is what female empowerment is more than anything else.

20. Judy Garland. My personal inspiration and to be honest I struggle to articulate how she inspires me as it's more of an emotion than a string of thoughts. I just believe Garland strove for love, kindness and friendship over anything. I also believe her work is a sign of hope, no matter how she was treated she never gave in, she didn't stop doing what she loved because of the way she was treated she kept going. It's debatable if that's the right decision, but it doesn't matter as it was a strong decision and it was Judy's. I respect her an unbelievable amount for her voice, her heart and her perspective on the world. Imagine what would be if that sweet girl hadn't sang 'Over The Rainbow' all those years ago, and imagine even more what could have been if we saw Garland for the layered, complex human being she was rather than sweet and cheery Dorothy Gale. Personally whenever I get the chance to perform I always think of Garland before I step on stage, I thank her for her sacrifices to the art because it wouldn't be what it is today if it weren't for her, I don't think there will ever be a star as bright again. It's also to remember that whilst addiction and mental illness don't descriminate, Judy wouldn't have faced many of the issues she did if she wasn't a woman.

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else."

The perspective we all should have had:

"I've always taken 'The Wizard of Oz' very seriously, you know. I believe in the idea of the rainbow. And I've spent my entire life trying to get over it."

I hope to hear of those who inspire you and I hope we all continue to inspire and empower each other. Alicia x

[sol-the-builder]

Talk of Cruelty

(Her) why are people so Cruel?

(Him) cruelty begets more cruelty, I blame Religion and kings personally because it made the idea of intolerance and who is better than another, so it made conflict and then because they could do it to strangers of a different style of person they grew used to it and it spread everywhere.

(Her) Do you think there is a balance? Between good and bad in the world?Or do you think the scales are uneven?

(Him) Honestly:

No, there will never be balance.

Yet there is the idea of Yin and Yang, darkness is the light and light in the darkness. So there will always be both, but as humans we are imperfect creatures we don't know balance.

(Her) Yin Yang.

Ah.

If I believe in the no balance, I'd never have faith in anything anymore.

Everytime I see,read,witness,experience something really shitty and unfair happening I try to calm myself by thinking there's something equally good happening somewhere else and this is all a pattern I don't get.

(Him) I never said the balance was in favor of the bad. Nor did I ever mean to make it seem like there isn't a way they dance in fairness.

Think of a seesaw, you know the playground toy that tips one way or another on a fulcrum, it's a fulcrum right?

(Her) I do believe it is a fulcrum. And yes, the seesaw example makes a lot of sense.

You're 17. What ruined you?

(Him) Ruined? Elaborate please, I don't understand.

(Her) Maybe that is a strong word. But what I mean is for you to talk the way you do about the things you do, something has to have happened to you to make you this way at the age of 17.

(Him) I've lived, I've been raped, I've been burned by cigarettes, I've been beaten bloody, I just see life as it is, still the poet in me trusts that the world can heal. A lot of things have happened.

(Her) None of that has happened to me. How fucked up is it that I still feel fucked up?

It's refreshing to know that there are people who still believe irrespective of all the shit that has happened to them.

(Him) Irrespective? No, I just forgave, I can't forget it. And everyone has tortures they have lived and without walking in another's shoes, they don't know their pain isn't as much. My cousin has had it worse, I won't tell what because they don't do the sharing of their soul but I was there next to them as it happened, only some of it.

(Her) Forgiving takes time and courage. I'm still working on it.

I know pain can't and shouldn't be compared but sometimes it can be. I mean my pain and misery has been probably 14% of yours and I still feel like shit and knowing that makes me feel more like shit. And this reasoning is wrong and I know that but it's still fucked up.

(Him) Having been through what I have, I've learned to hate myself before I loved myself, I understand why you feel like crap, but once you learn what it is, and learn from it, there is no more reason to feel like that, you are no longer ignorant.

(Her) I'm not ignorant I think I live too much in the past and the pain keeps amplifying and the only solution to that is to have more relations and activities in the present but I can't step out of my house and make a single friend.

(Him) You made a friend right here, and that's why I write of the now, the here to escape my mind.

(Her) Do you mean you?

(Him) Yes I mean me, hahaha, don't worry, I mean when I open up and talk like this with someone, they're close, you don't talk feelings with just a random stranger, you talk about their views on politics. An acquaintance you'd talk about how they feel. Someone closer you'd ask about things that touch your soul.

(Her) That's so true. These aren't the normal conversation norms.

I only confirmed because if I'm being completely honest sometimes I feel like you don't really have a positive view of me? I don't know how to explain and I know it's probably irrational.

(Him) Oh I get it, yes, I seem a bit cold and negative sometimes, it's something that broke me up as I said before, but to show friends I'm still friends I try to make sexual jokes to A. Show we're relaxed enough to talk about that. B. Try to assure myself that those things are really okay. C. Because if I don't I come off a bit too cold.

(Her) I'm waiting for one.

(Him) Well I'm scared about doing it to you and they just slip in. *That's what she said* I guess that's an example.

(Her) Don't be scared. If you believe we are friends just be yourself and say random stuff and the most silly things and the most important ones?

I take that word and relation pretty seriously. Also most times I don't really get sexual jokes. Stupid stupid stupid me.

(Him) Well if you want I can drop an innuendo in ur endo. Goodness I just said that.

(Her) Haha, that wasn't too bad.

(Him) I do my best. But that wasn't it, there's a timing to it. Kinda like Nooky itself you know?

(Her) Haha, now I know, I had to look up the word 'nooky'

(Him) oh you get it?

(Her) I like talking to you but sometimes I feel like I don't know how far I can go? That's why I brought it up. Now I do.

(Him) Yeah? Well I say Nooky because I don't want to seem crass. But literally anything.