#and this pattern help keeps the character intro songs consistent!!!!

[chasing-posts]

Just finished Cats 2019... it was mostly bad. But I could almost see what they were going for. Because there are concepts and ideas where ALMOST works, but there are things that keep messing it up for one reason or another.

For instance I'll list some things I liked that work as a movie.

I like the idea of Macavity going around and kidnapping cats who sang in order to make himself the next Jellical choice by default. It's different than the play but in a good way, and is actually a good idea for a movie where rescuing the cats is part of the end goal. His intro is also pretty good, with him jumping on the sign and turning it into his wanted photo. The shot of him there along with his line and how he says it are good build up to him being a credible threat. (Pity they don't deliver)

Two numbers that really work in the movie and stand alone are the Rum Tum Tugger's number, and Skimbleshanks. Skimbleshanks was the BeST song in the movie and honestly, I would love to see Jason Derulo get to play Tugger on stage some time. I think he would do a really good job in the roll if given the chance.

I like Demeter taking on a more protector roll. In the play she's more skittish, but the movie gives her quite the defensive personality, where she almost acts like defender of the tribe, instead of that roll given to Munkustrap. It's different, but it's good different.

I like the Mungojerry and Rumpleteezer song. It's a lot slower, and has a bit more of a villianous vibe, but it's a lot of fun to watch. And it sort of fits their new rolls in the movie.

And that's it... how unfortunate.

Sadly the story falls flat and because it's less about "Cats" and more about Victoria. They gave her the roll of main character, when they really shouldn't. Victoria is a lovely cat in the play and her white fur stands out in a sea of colours and patterns that all the other cats have, but making her an audience insurgent waa a bad call because in this movie, she actually lacks a consistent character.

Sometimes she's confused and doesn't know what's going on, and other times she's on the same wavelength as everyone else. She also gets a weird amount of attention from...everyone. which at times almost makes it seem like the world is revolving around her, rather than her being a part of the world. We never learn why she wants to help Grizabella so much, and at the beginning, she was being side eyed and almost rejected, but then in just a few signs "Munkustrap" is worried about her and Mistoffelees because they disappeared, when all the cats scattered at the same time as she did!

There were also scenes that did not work for the movie, like the "Naming of Cats." In the show, it works because it's a part of the world building as well as an introduction to a lot of the cats who will not be getting musical numbers about themselves, but are still valuable members. Such as Alonzo, Demeter, Bombalurina, and Munkustrap. These cats never get their own songs, so it's important to drop the names here. As well as get into the psyche/ beliefs of a Jellical Cat and what their names means to them. (Its also creepy and cool!)

But the movie makes this seem like it might introduce a character arc for Victoria. When Demeter says "Victoria? That can't be your only name..." implying that Victoria was just a name that humans who abandoned her gave her, and so it's a name that will drag her down. So while she is exploring the life of a Jellical over the night, it might lead to her discovering who she truly is, and as such, discover her true name.

But...none of that happens. They don't even introduce a VERY important character in that number. Munkustrap! Without this name drop, he becomes a nameless character! Which is a really weird choice since he's Victoria's sort of mentor figure, as well as a pseudo leader until Old Deuteronomy arrives. Unless you saw the play, I'm sure most people would just call him "that grey cat who sure was in a lot of scenes."

(How can you go through a whole musical and introduce a main character, AND FORGET TO NAME THEM!!!)

And there's just a lot of inconsistencies with the music and the character actions. Songs will say and action or describe a character, and the cats will wither be doing said action, making it redundant, or they'll look completely opposite of how they were described. (Cough cough, Macavity).

There's just a lot of problems with the music, and effects that causes problems for the dancing.There is obviously a lot of thought, effort and practice into the dance of this movie, and sometimes, it looks lovely.... for moments at a time. But something always comes along to ruin it. Whether a sequence be interrupted to make poorly timed, unfunny jokes, the music becoming distracting due to a bad performance or choice or choice, or most often, the CGI getting in the way!

The CGI is atrocious and I hate the cardboard cut out effect it has on almost everyone's face at one point or another. But what I hate more is the fact that all the CGI covers up the dancing! There's so much caked on to cover the people or to make them jump/ move awkwardly, that it stops being a spectacle like it should be and instead covers up all the hard work the dancers originally put into the project to begin with. I can not for the life of me not understand why they would do this! They could could have used costumes, than CGI'd in a tail or moving ears. But instead what we got was somewhere between awkward and horrific in a lot of places!

In the end, this movie was a mess! And I've already thought of a few ways to improve the movie that I'll share later. But yeah this was... not good.

Also too many of the cats were straight! Where the f*ck is bisexual legend The Rum Tum Tugger. Gay AF Mistoffelees, queer/ poly everyone! The only poly ship we got in the movie was Victoria/Rumpleteezer/ Mungojerry, and they demonized it by the twins leaving her to die via dog for no reason. And the we only got a bit of queer subtext between Munkustrap and Skimbleshanks, and a touch of Mistoffelees/ Munkustrap in the Mistoffelees...."Number."

Which by the way, how DARE they mess up the Mistoffelees number so much. Not only did they kill all momentum repeated by his CONSTANT failure, not ONLY did they remove his signature dancing, not ONLY did they remove the amazing vocals (which by the way, Rum Tum Tugger should be saranating!!! (But he did do a little but of extra leg work in the final attempt to bring back Old Deuteronomy. I heard you sing Jason. You're vocals were amazing. Way to sneak that In)) but the song no longer works plot wise! Due to it's length and how many failed attempts there were, Old Deuteronomy would have drowned in the ocean by the time Mistoffelees was done singing. Growltiger/ Macavity were immediately trying to murder her after they brought her to the ship. And it should not take that long to push an old, senile cat off the plank, when you already got her lined up and a stick ready. It was a poor decision that should have been avoided.

But yeah I'm done for now. I'll offer my thoughts on how to fix/ improve the movie later. Because this movie can be fixed, it just needs some serious leg work and script editing.

[buckevantommy]

'(Un)Happiest Season' review

Simply put, it wasn't enjoyable as a romance or a comedy or a Christmas flick. It failed on many fronts, but this reviewer from Salon.com puts the thing into words for Happiest Season's main failings: 

What's bad: There were two main criticisms of "Happiest Season." The first being: Can't LGBTQ audiences have a holiday movie where the main plot isn't about mining the anxiety and trauma associated with coming out, being closeted and casual homophobia? Then there's the fact that Harper really is just kind of the worst. After pushing Abby back in the closet, Harper ditches her in a town where she doesn't know anyone to go drink with her ex-boyfriend until two in the morning, then proceeds to call Abby "suffocating" when called on it. It's a pattern of s**ty behavior that is pervasive and present throughout the movie, so her redemption arc doesn't feel super genuine. 

Why can't we have main queer characters in Christmas movies without their presence being all about their queerness? We want fluffy festiveness, dammit! They could've made Harper less selfish and more attentive while still playing into the *I'm not out yet Because Reasons so we need to hide our gay relationship* trope, but they didn't. Who knows why, but what a waste. 🎄👩‍❤️‍👩☃️

^ Look at that trailer and tell me you don't expect Misunderstandings with fun and tropey antics + Domestic Christmas Shenanigans + Comfort for Hurt! You will be sorely disappointed. 😞 

NOTE: The flick does have a few good moments. And it's probably worth the watch just to see what's missing/mishandled when it comes to queer characters and queer romances in mainstream movies. 

But it's not really fun or funny or heart-warming - where are the snowball fights? Insightful conversations? Christmas elements like eggnog/spiced wine, candycanes, mistletoe? Where are the many colourful side characters and the hungover brunches? We get one scene of ice-skating for a few minutes and it's wasted on sibling rivalry bs rather than, say.. Abby and Harper skating together but not being aloud to touch—omg the tension!! 😍 

There's just not enough comfort for the hurt Abby (Kstew) goes through; the film wholly lacks those warm-n-fuzzy Christmas vibes; there's just way more wrong with it than is right with it - which sucks, because this had the potential to be such a great movie if only Harper was written as less ignorant/selfish and we'd gotten more enjoyable family interactions and more festive fun - like a celebration in town. Instead we get a few limited shots of the adorable town, a crappy bar, and an OTT fancy Christmas party for performative rich white folk on a career path for power and "perfection" (ie. wholesome family values). 

The story they went with was definitely better suited for a dramatic film, so in a romcom setting it really didn't work. Plus the side-characters were flat; we needed more depth from the supporting characters, more meaningful interactions. 

^ Look at those intro credits!! Look at all the domestic happy moments and tell me you don't want to see a movie filled with such fluffy festive goodness!! Well, if you don't want to see such moments, don't worry because you won't. I naturally thought we were going to get this kind of romantic-and-non-romantic happiness dispersed throughout the entire film, but no. Not a one. There's 5 minutes of Happy Couple at the start, and that's it 📸☹️ (unless you count a photo collage of the happy ending and year that follows stuffed into the end credits). 

BTW: That intro song is the most Christmasy song in the whole movie. The soundtrack features modern pop songs which 1) don't help set the festive vibe and 2) are really fucking annoying; the song choices are grating, not pleasant, not enjoyable, and they overpower the scenes with a whole lotta noise. I really wish we'd gotten more tunes like the one above. 🎶 

About the image below—Abby is actually miserable the entire time, getting worse by the day, barely a smile seen on her.. while Harper is the one schmoozing her family and contacts with teeth bared, so.. this image isn't what you'll get, just fyi:

(also: the only POC actors they had were the perfectionist-stone-faced-bitch's husband and his girlfriend - wife + hubby being secretly separated.) 

The things that the Salon reviewer liked are the same things I did (see below), but imho even those elements weren't enough to save this film from being: 

an infuriating 102 minute-comedy of errors buoyed by a healthy dose of gaslighting 

More cons of the flick are pointed out by denofgeek.com: 

Some of its issues come from the structure of the film, which shoehorns very real queer struggles into wacky rom-com tropes too fluffy to contain the stakes at hand. Meanwhile the choice to have one half of the lead couple be so aggressively and repeatedly cruel—while her high school ex Riley, played by the ever-perfect Aubrey Plaza was standing right there having all the chemistry in the world with the other romantic lead—was a fatal one.

It really was a dramatic plot idea crammed into a fluffy narrative. You can see the conflicting genres fighting to stay alive and they both die a slow, agonisingly dull death throughout the film. The whole *Abby being converted to loving Christmas by Harper inviting her to spend the holidays with her family* thing, only to have Harper force their relationship + Abby into the closet. Straight conversion much? I'm 100% sick of heteronormative bs in my queer Christmas films. 

For the most part, when you're not feeling for Abby's harsh treatment by her would-be fiance and everyone but Riley ignoring her completely, you will be bored af from the lack of festive cheer - not just twinkle lights and boisterous seasonal music, but those good ol' homey family Christmas vibes. With the Harper house + family members, everything's a performance, so that lack of sincerity and warmth makes for a depressing viewing experience: 

^ Jane (one of Harper's 2 sisters) is the only character allowed to be consistently genuine in the narrative (aside from John, but he's restricted mostly to phonecalls, and Riley - but even she's keeping Harper's secrets). Jane is the only character who is naturally vibrant and reminds us of some of the reasons we get excited about Christmas movies: to feel joy and to enjoy the company around us during the holiday season! 🎄☃️🥳 But rather than give us a fun day out with Jane + Abby, we get Abby + the second sister (i don't even remember her name, just BitchFace) which leads to more bad treatment of Abby - this time by two spoiled af no-smile rich kids. *le sigh* Jane carries the spark of honest joy for the entire Harper clan and that is TOO MUCH to expect of one character, let alone a side-character. 😪 

There are so many ways the story could've been tweaked to make more sense and be somewhat enjoyable, including: 

The orphan!Abby thing is just bad. Rather than give Abby a voice, chances to let her personality shine, almost everyone interacts with her to merely briefly express their condolences for her long-dead parents 🙄 

Abby is a pet-minder, ie. she's an animal lover, yet at no point do we see her interact with animals! Not a dog or cat or hamster, no reindeer at the petting zoo, nothing. 🐕🐈🦎🦜🐠

Riley + Abby getting together (even just a kiss) 👄 

Abby + Harper separating so Harper can get her shit together - and then we get several flashforward shots of them separately living their lives (Harper especially), and then meeting back up again - maybe the next holiday season, after some much-needed time apart 🏃‍♀️🤸‍♀️ 

side characters who engage with Abby in a sincere, meaningful way instead of ignoring her (again, we got Riley, but she was outside of the family dynamic) 😊 

MORE FESTIVE CHEER! where were all the staple Christmassy passtimes, the smile-inducing season-specific experiences??? 🎉 

More from denofgeek: 

Where the script gets into trouble is that it doesn’t distinguish between Harper being closeted and her poor treatment of Abby. The two are separate issues and treating them as one does no favors to Harper, nor others struggling with the closet. As Dan Levy’s beautiful monologue late in the movie alludes to, the closet is a safety mechanism—but it’s not a free pass to treat people like garbage. [...] 😟🏳️‍🌈

Even a brief conversation teasing out that being in the closet doesn’t justify how Harper acted, and that plenty of people in the closet don’t treat others like trash, would have been important. Instead once Harper is out (which the movie takes pains to make clear only happened because Harper’s sister Sloane outed her), and a gesture so small it could never credibly be called grand is made, all bad behavior is washed away. [...] 😤🙅‍♀️ 

The jarring underlying issue is that 'Happiest Season' attempts to apply the standard rom-com and made-for-TV-holiday-movie tropes to queer life. So Abby having to go back into the closet isn’t framed as a painful regression or being forced to deny an essential part of herself, but rather a fun twist, in the vein of “but the guy she insulted on the plane is the owner of the ornament factory she has to impress to win the Christmas contest!”🚪😒 

All of Harper’s behavior adds up to making her feel like something the audience wants Abby to be free of, not someone Abby should be fighting for. Once Riley tells Abby about Harper’s cruelty in high school, where Harper outed Riley and mocked her rather than standing up for her or finding an excuse that protected them both, it becomes incredibly difficult to root for the lead couple to get back together, or for Harper at all. 👏💃 

With this information, Harper’s other transgressions go from frustrating to part of a larger pattern. Sadly, it’s a pattern Harper repeats when her sister outs her and she throws Abby under the (lesbian) bus. 🤬 

FAVE THINGS: 

all interactions between John (Dan Levy) + Abby (he's witty, honest, and 100% the most entertaining element of the entire film; i wish we'd gotten more of him) 😆 

Riley (Aubrey Plaza, Harper's ex) + Abby's scenes together because CHEMISTRY, both between the characters and the actors 👩‍❤️‍👩

Notable between Abby + Riley scenes include 3 instances of Riley comforting Abby's hurt: outside at the fancy party (Abby feeling excluded/ignored/not worth anyone's time due to the way they treat her even though they don't know she's gay), at a gay bar in town (sandwiched by scenes where Abby's made to feel like crap by Harper), and at the fancy home Christmas party where Riley gets Abby something stronger to drink after hearing Abby was going to propose to Harper (but it's been a helluva shitty week and those plans are dead) 👭 

Every scene with Riley was blessed relief from the hurt and discomfort and boredom of the rest of the time with Harper's family. 🤩 

Sister Jane, for being a genuinely fun character 🤗 who was written starkly different to her family and treated somewhat like an outcast 

Aubrey + Kstew killin it in various pantsuits 👀 

In contrast, Riley connects Abby to queerness, bringing her to an LGBTQ bar to decompress and enjoy a Christmas-themed drag performance. It’s the most relaxed and comfortable Abby is on screen since the opening scenes, a chance to glimpse Abby’s authentic self before Harper summons her back to heterosexuality, and where she once again ignores and disappoints her. Riley actually talks to Abby at the various holiday parties whereas Harper keeps leaving her to please her family, especially her father. It’s not hard for the natural chemistry between Plaza and Stewart to take over

I wouldn't watch this film again. For a hopeful Christmasy love story I'd just watch all Abby + Riley's scenes: 

In closing, here's a batshit article title from observer.com that just makes you go, huh? 🧐:

‘Happiest Season’ Isn’t Happy, But That Doesn’t Make It a Bad Rom-Com

Um.. yes, yes it does. 

Rom-Coms are supposed to be fun, light-hearted stories about love even when the plot deals with lying - The Proposal, Sweet Home Alabama - so a movie that leaves you hurting more than comforted in sympathy with one of the main characters because the (apparent) love of their life is treating them like shit, then it doesn't deserve to be in the genre of Rom-Com. 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨💞🎬

In summary, Abby and Harper got 5 minutes of happiness in the beginning, and an eventual happy ending after a super rocky middle. The journey was painful and unenjoyable, and it made their happy ending unbelievable and, for Harper, undeserved because of her behaviour through 90% of the story. 

In short: it was not, in fact, the happiest season. 😕👎

[skimaskkass]

Pre - Jeri (album review) (breakbit music/ROFLTRAX classics #1) (re-formated)

https://jeri.bandcamp.com/album/pre A long time ago (2014ish) I slightly helped or maybe tried to help a label called Breakbit Music. I am no Breakbit Music master but maybe I will be one day. In the meantime I can reminisce about albums that are dear (or not) to my life as a music fan and other things. One of these albums is Pre by Jeri. I had heard someone I’m in contact with make a track similar to one of the tracks on this album, though not exactly. I wondered if she knew this album and she didn’t. I mention this because I am very proud of her because this album is not just dear to my heart but makes me realize more than 99% of music I listen to how special life and musical ability is.

The opening “Seq1″  is musical chaos to me. But it is not nonsense. It sounds like nothing else I’ve ever heard. I’ve heard some orangy (an alias Jeri had used earlier) tracks before and maybe this is a distillation of that. Jeri was a king of sampling and using them at the right moments. Every time that “woo!” plays you don’t know what to do and when it jumps out of the middle of a spaced out bar. It gets sandwiched by FM sounding percussion arpeggios with even more staccato drums and snares that without intentionally listening for a pattern doesn’t seem like there is one. It’s such a free track that somehow has order sonically is face melting. Musicians should take note how to create textures with the same sounds by placing them at different spaces like they are in this track. But remember this is just the intro. The next track “Toxic People” has this Nintendo 64 sounding echoing guitar over this seasick portable game system synth. It draws you in and the drums come in. The hi-hats sound like they could be on a high quality Amon Tobin track in their modulating pitches. The drums once again phase through different pitches, sounding irregular, FM sounding. Then this really low fidelity, reamped industrial drumming runs into the mix and the song’s baseline comes in (but it’s the kind of overwhelming thing that you hear in dubstep or grime tracks that just bubbles and soaks the mix (which is also somehow trombone that seems to have the suggestion of higher frequencies which maybe is why it coats the ears in ear candy)). The drums have sped up and become isolated. It sounds like industrial influenced ‘post-techno’ or something along those lines. Before you can make that thought the drums are run through a flanger. There’s a proper bassline that comes in that would fit a Nintendo 64 game (I will bring it up a lot). It’s wild. There’s reverb slowly being filled in the mix from the seasick synth. There’s some ring-mod sounding vocal cries and the track ends. “*SHOT*”: is playing and brace yourself for a lot of notes on this track. There is this percussive kind of 8-bit/bit crushed melody that sounds has the effect of dramatic fast horror movie-like piano playing. This track also has a sea sick synth. It sounds like howling ghosts now. The bass drums come in and are replaced with a bassline and then there is a ghost acid bassline and these ghost drums that are going at a fast tempo (ghost in this instance meaning low volume). It is at this point of the album where I say if you’ve ever been a fan of madness combat’s music. Listen to this album. It’s just bassline and the drums with some cuts of high pitched spooky sounds. There are these portamento woodblock sounds in the fast drums that might have echoing delay and/or vocoder on them but regardless they are an excellent detail. The 8-bit/bit crushed sound gets panned around and sounds ring modulated now. Every loop there are two slight notes that adds to the techno spinning inferno music, yeah it is quite tribal at this point. At 1:25 a great transition sound and more vocode-y drums and then this melody that I can’t describe the sound of. It’s like a synth lunatic singing as this synth squeal keeps pitching down. The piano stuff I was suggesting now completely reveals itself at a nickelodeon-fast speed...The track just keeps changing and changing and changing a bunch of distorted sounds come in over it and the after the bass kicks up and the sounds are being swiss-cheesed by distortion. The song falls into a loop where the drums change into that fm squeak and a formant camera-shutter with light melodies taken from sounds from before and it goes back to the consistent sound it started with. Except I notice a high pitched sound in the background now. The bassline bumps back and the percussion ghosts play in the background over a synth hi hat. The track ends. “Computer”: IDM crackling drums and deep town ball bounces over quiet strings. Insane synth 1 and 2 start descending both. Then gabber kicks and noise snare that are quiet play a hell-decent march over fm pads and synths that make creature-screams. Crackle and ball bounces come back and the synths. And back to the gabber hell-on-display.“Synop”: starts with a synthesized brass sound. A quiet high pitched pinging over absolutely beautiful resonant filter sweeping snares and expected character rich kicks. Then a really long melody starts playing that sounds like it’s for a Nintendo 64 game for robots. Then this high pitched club music melody comes in that I absolutely love. And a wandering synth robot starts to sing. It sounds like abstract vocoded vocals and high pitched hotel service bell sounds. There’s a high pitched sine wave sound that tells the robot to stop. Sometimes there’s some distortion in the robot’s singing. The music stops to focus on this part. It’s tremolo and then has a finish. There’s a lot relistening this track deserves. “Kesanspor”: starts with a formant synth for alien salsa over two notes of synth strings and a winding sound that’s revving up. Then a distorted roar. This complicated pad sound that sounds like 50 laser sounds suggesting a choir and an electronic church refrain synth ‘yeah’ are added.  A strange orchestral hit is added to the dead space between string sounds. This arcade sound that is loud but distant plays. There’s some hi-hats that come by to say hello. “Opalei”: Drums start: Kick drums that don’t sound like any kick drums I’ve ever heard personally. Noise snare and a synth-y but somehow metallic sound that’s almost a ‘hyuck’. At 0:05-00:6 there is a stutter in the drums that you gotta love the glitchiness of which is in the loop. Reverb-spaced out (a processed square-wave?) synth that suggests a string section come out. There’s harmonies of this sound and a pianoish, watery synth melody dripping nice through the mix. The melody loops and the drums switch up and then the melody goes to church organ mode and also formant squeals I’ve never heard before except maybe in a Rustie track. You now notice the side-chaining bass drum that is humble but starts rocking out to the magic. This is what bedroom producer synth-rock heaven sounds like. The synths go all filtery and flittery between high and mid tones. They start to take on a liquid quality as time slips. The string section comes back with a variation on the original melody, listen to that detail at the end of the sequence. It is a beautiful gated sound. Then a strange sound sneaks in that sounds like sitar and there are strumming sounds. “M0d”: A murderous string sound and a mid-range fm synth that’s like an electric guitar riff from DOOM over a kind of timpani drum beat. You’re getting ready to murder people to this song as wood block and congas add a playful touch to the track. There’s a slight high pitched triangle (the percussion instrument) sound there. Bursts of echo-y wavy synths start to add the melody to the track. The drums are now rock drums. There’s a turntablism sound at the end of the sequence. There is a slight variation to the sequence then a major one where it scales back and adds beautiful conga sounds and blatant triangle sounding noises with dynamic sound effect rustling noises. There is a cute synth doing a little boat toy whistle (it has an almost old video game / emulating-that-sound quality) after the echo-y wavy synths get more animated, excited and dramatic. I start to notice the bottle whistle sound. This sound starts to pan through the mix when more dramatic sounds are stripped back. Then the song switches up. The synth bludgeons that were echo-y and wavy go transform into searing hot jabs. N64-sounding acid bassline comes in. The bottle whistle transforms into an ore of noise. “Smoke Gogol”: Drums pan left and right. Acid like you’ve never heard it. Melodramatic portamento synths like cartoon character swoons. A sound like someone tapping on a stage mic to test it. Phone/Ringtone sounding synths and snares pan. It gets replaced with a resampled crossfaded type sound bobbing up and down from a low tone. The drums stand out more and variations abound including the phone sound pitched down. I noticed a synth pad that was behind the portamento synths when they came back. The structure is like poetry. First it goes A B A B then C D C D and loops back again. “Thez”: It sounds like a re-amped chop of When The Levee Breaks. Re-amped to make it sound just so beautiful. There’s that odd resampled sounding synth sound that seems to be speaking and singing to us. But that’s because there is a vocal sample in the background that’s grunting in an alien language. The synth goes up and now it really is singing. There is that constant note hammering way in the background that I love to hear in things in popular music. It gets isolated and moves up and down the scale with the drums. And then a N64 guitar comes in and acid nudges panned past you like you were driving past them. The guitar goes full wonky then the resampled sounding synth comes back. It is so unique. The resampled sound isolates and I notice the string sound that has been in the background maybe awhile. And in that isolating the sound shows you how wild it is. The track regains some layers and fades out like a dying candle. “Porta”: It sounds like a fm synth became a sad siren coming to retrieve a body. The snares are like snipps. The base drum sounds like a heavy object dropping on a metal plate. There’s another guitar-y sound. The track sounds like 5th gen video game music for a bad dream. There’s formant synths that harmonize with the siren. There’s a descending sound at the end you can hear at 1:30. It sounds like percussion of some kind. “Holtz IV”: Acid bassline that has an emulated sound quality to it which makes me think of it in a 5th gen gaming console. It’s on it’s own. Then this reggae melody string instrument comes in. More re-amped drums. More video-gamey sounds, this time an organ replaces the reggae melody. The organ comes back sounding more epic, perhaps it’s been layered multiple times. You gotta love it when it stutters. This is building up to the best part of the album for me. It’s not the medieval video game melody that comes in or the marching band beat that comes after it. Or the sick bass drum that comes in the second medieval melody starts. The drums flit around shortly as tastefully as any track of druqks. The glassy synth comes in (triangle wave I believe). And it’s one final surprise. There’s a bouncy club bass drum, I suppose it’s an 808. The squelching organ comes in to dance with the glassy arpeggio. Reverb at the end of the track. I didn’t know Jeri. We never talked. I knew a fair amount of the people on Breakbit Music though. He did a live set during the record label’s virtual music festival, ‘Bit Mania’. A pioneering thing for the early 2010s for sure. I remember the label’s founder mrSimon saying when the song Toxic People played something along the lines: “This is [jeri]? This sounds too good to be him”. Just a joke and Jeri said something in response. I know that being in that chatroom together was a privilege even though I never reached out to him like a fair amount of the people on the label. I didn’t really listen to the other albums under the name Jeri or too much of the Orangy stuff (which was too good to listen to imo). When I saw the cover for Pre I was entranced. It is beautiful and the album is... I view the outstanding musical genius of this album as a distant goal of what I want or imagine others to achieve as an artist. Anyone who can approach this kind of music should feel wonderful at their ability. People who know Jeri or are fans of him know that he passed away in 2014. I know his music will live on because of its power. But only if the effort is made to share it with the world.

[acesotonic]

acesotonic reviews | Logic: “Confessions of a Dangerous Mind”

hello everyone! welcome to the first album review on this blog. i have always been reviewing music from all walks of culture, languages and ‘genres’ on my instagram, but i figured putting it on an actual blog would be way neater. and because my opinion is so important, it’s more accessible in this format. so without further ado, enjoy!

Logic’s latest 16-track release, “Confessions of a Dangerous Mind”, had me feeling all sorts of emotions; and not all of them for the better. Some tracks were so good on their own, and some tracks made me question, “Why is this here?”. 16 tracks is long. Especially when Logic himself kept emphasising how any upcoming album would be his last... then proceeds to release another album. That makes the 16 tracks seem way longer than it should.

We begin with the first song that takes the name of the album title. The instrumental begins with a pleasant melody, and reminds you that this is indeed a Logic project. When he begins to rap, his flow is calm and emotional which grounds the listeners into this track at its most foundational level. He gets sentimental and sensitive about the album’s main themes, success and its demons that haunt the mind. But the snare comes off at some points as disruptive; an odd alien semi-grunge hit. The chorus gets lyrically cheesy (which will pop up again later), especially when Logic starts to sing (this too). I would think it was a decent start to the album, but more weak than it was strong.

The next track Homicide, a pre-release featuring Eminem, remains my favourite off of this album. Logic’s rap is rapid-fire, his lyrics are hilarious and his rhyme is impeccable. He switches into characters with his voice, which makes the song prominent. The hook is playing its role as a hook, and transitions into Eminem’s verse cooly. The older rapper’s flow felt fresh, a mix of modern styles but still very much nostalgic sounding with old school sandwich-rhyme schemes. The ending is still odd to me - funny - but does not reduce the quality of the track in any way. Eminem’s feature was a good one, fully fleshed out and utilised. An addictive track indeed. A total repeat.

Unfortunately, Wannabe and clickbait take the album to a downturn when it was just starting to climb. Wannabe feels out of place and almost lacked in the content it intended to have. Similarly, clickbait suffers from cohesive and juicy lyrics. Some bars that had references were fun, but that was only 2 or 4. There’s a cheesiness that is starting to pop up in these weaker tracks, either through Logic’s serious attempts at vocalising melodies or other ways.

The next piece Mama/Show Love that features YBN Cordae does not veer off from passable. The saving grace of this track’s first portion was YBN’s rap - with great content and rhyme. When the beat switches to the Show Love section, Logic’s rap feels more magnetic compared to the Mama section. This makes me feel as if the first half of this piece was not necessary. The melody of the instrumental felt a bit cheesy compared to the previous sounds as well.

It is at this point listening to Out of Sight that I realised I was getting bored. “ALrEaDy?!”. Yes. And I don’t like that. The instrumental does not have anything special to it, almost too consistent with no risk (which is contrary to the album’s themes). There is no strong hook and leads me to question the purpose of the track in this record. The next song Pardon My Ego is slightly better with some unique sampling in the beginning. Logic’s flow and some of the funny lyrics make the track’s safety net. But again, the instrumental sounds repetitive after awhile. There is no lasting impact on my ears and mind.

I started to get excited again for the next track COMMANDO, but only because it features G-Eazy. Many have said that his rap has no personality, but many have also said that he has a distinct voice and accent. I believe in the latter. The instrumental starts to sound more trendy, which I thought made sense since it featured a new generation rapper. G-Eazy had the more interesting flow compared to Logic; fast, rhyme-filled, funny and had cool switch-ups. However... it was too short. Logic’s powerless segment in the beginning made up the bulk of the track, which made COMMANDO almost forgettable.

The next song Icy also has a feature, by Gucci Mane. Logic in the beginning hook uses a high-pitched voice that comes off as comedic, but his carefree and funny lyrics make up for it ever so slightly. Gucci’s segment has a mediocre delivery, but some creative lyrics. Again, it is a very short feature which could’ve expanded to make the song more entertaining. The hook starts to get a little annoying towards the end of the song, though the overall instrumental is quite cool. In the following track Still Ballin featuring Wiz Khalifa, the roles are reversed. Logic’s flow was straightforward with clean lyrics, while Wiz’s bars were basic and fundamentally useless to the song’s theme of hustling. This is when I rather the feature not be... well... featured. Though the song speaks of something important in the life of a reckless artist, the hook comes off as lazy and does not make the song important to the album lineup.

The following track Cocaine again gets me questioning the purpose of it in the record. The instrumental is your typical arpeggio piano-based hip hop beat which is nothing I’ve not heard before. Nevertheless, Logic’s lyrics in the second half of the song get very personal and emotional. It delves into the reality that drugs and poison in music sell better than real and traumatic stories. The 808s laid out across the track becomes progressively crazy and is the most distinct aspect of the instrumental. These 2 things have made Cocaine a tolerable piece.

At the 12th track Limitless, the album almost becomes irredeemable. The record could have stopped at 10 or 11 tracks... and when the 12th one is not of high quality, a listener’s stamina drops. This track is sonically boring, and Logic’s sudden singing comes off as out of tune to my ears. The hook was bland with a repetition of “you the man”, and the existence of this whole song in the album is vague. Although, the album starts to pick up a little bit in Keanu Reeves. Logic’s flow is not stellar, he sounds bored sometimes, and the flute sound in the instrumental feels random. The piece may seem forgettable, but some of the self-referential lyrics are entertaining enough for me to keep listening. Also, the second half of the song is where his flow picks up and reminds me again of Logic’s true potential.

With 4 tracks left, Don’t Be Afraid To Be Different features Will Smith who takes a very short first verse that is lyrically featureless. The chorus has a weird-sounding synth that does nothing to amp up the track’s quality. It is also so loud during Logic’s verse that I can barely be immersed in his part. The hook is overly repetitive and does not help to make the track cohesive, like it is one whole element. But what makes this track decent is the instrumental in general, with a slight callback to It Takes Two by Rob Base and DJ EZ Rock; with the rugged-sounding shakers and drum pattern. Will’s flow, while plain, was cute and nostalgic with references to his Bel Air days. It kept a part of the album a bit more interesting and colourful, to reflect the album art minimally.

As the record comes to an end, it hits hard and suddenly gives us pretty amazing final pieces. BOBBY features sampling with an attention-grabbing intro and background ad-libs chanting “Bobby!”. Logic’s lyrics are raunchy and whimsical, showing off his confidence and presenting himself as an original entity. He gets very personal about his cultural identity as well, but masks it with the funky beat that gives listeners a slightly uneasy feeling being able to access his “dangerous mind”. I do wish the drums went back to a consistent 4/4 beat after awhile and stopped going into half-time, because I was yearning for more speed in this up-beat sampling. Featuring his father’s lament about how great his son is is a sweet touch, and makes the song even more personal and unique. It adds more character to the record, even though at an arrangement stand-point, BOBBY feels oddly placed.

Finally, we reach Lost In Translation. It begins with a wistful 2000s R&B vibe with electric piano and a bit of organ rotations in the background. The bass is soulful. The drum set is muted and very much old school, taking you way back to the times of Ashanti and Ja Rule. Then almost 50 seconds into the track, the beat switches up. It still retains the soul and blues elements in the bass and electric piano. The drums, however, have become more hip hop and so is the drum pattern. I guess it is to keep the track melded into the mainly hip hop album... but I wouldn’t mind a full-on cool R&B-reminiscent outro. And then, the beat switches up for a second time. The bass has become much stronger, and electric piano melodies are funkier. Logic’s flow is so good, with catchy rhyme schemes and edgy references to Hannibal Lecter’s passion for human flesh. His rap is on-going and fresh. Suddenly though, a Japanese narrator starts to speak. I have not found an accurate translation of her segment but one thing’s for sure, she says “Rattpack, motherf***er”. The general gist of her part translates to “Thank you very much for your help” (Logic_301). This could be referring to how this album grapples with themes that may seem distant and unaccessible to most of Logic’s listeners, but uniting them all as music-lovers at the echo of his label. But why Japanese? The purpose is still unknown - at least to me. Some have argued that this is cultural appropriation, but I will leave this to Logic himself to explain. Overall though, an entertaining track with a pleasant and atmospheric finish.

Conclusion

“Confessions of a Dangerous Mind” sinks deeper into an abyss of half-starred quality at almost every track. While very few from the many 16 selections of songs stand out to be great, like Homicide and BOBBY, majority of the album barely skims the surface of “passable”. We expected to see a raw and unedited form of Logic on this record. Instead, it came off as unsealed and unready to be released into the wild. The good songs are very strong, while the weak songs are absolutely underwhelming.

4.75/10

[moistwithgender]

(Overdue) Media round-up (January 2019)

Feb’s almost over and I was gonna write about what I’ve processed when I realized I only posted about the anime I watched, I think? So this is a catch-up post for manga and games, before the end of this month in a few days. If you want to read the January anime round-up, it’s in my “curry watches anime” tag.

Games:

Puresabe’s 2019 New Year Rockman Hack (NES): Puresabe does one of these every year and they are always pretty hard! But I think the last few years have been much more balanced than their older projects. They are always just boss fights, but with complex patterns and sometimes multiple phases. Being just a boss fight (or two) means they are super short, but you will spend most of your time learning them. Also there are no checkpoints, so every death means you’re back to phase one. It’s very fun when it’s a good hack, and this was a good hack. I had a very rough start to the year and considered giving up, but went back and beat it, for good fortune in the new year. (Beaten 1/2/19)

The 2nd Super Robot Wars (NES): I decided 2019 would be the year I got into SRW, and so I started here, because the first game actually has no hard plot. I enjoyed it to a point, but the difficulty climbs to an absurd degree, and I wish I’d cut my losses and just youtubed it. The game allows you to save at any time during a turn, and resetting the console means it recycles the RNG and you can get different luck. This is...required. Most of the way into the game, I was having to reset twenty times in a row per unit action, just to make sure I could survive an enemy attack, or successfully hit an enemy. The funniest thing is that when I finally beat this, I almost immediately started up one of the later games, so clearly the kernel of value was visible to me through all that bullshit. (Beaten 1/13/19)

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate: World of Light (Switch): I had been chomping at the bit for what felt like forever just to play this mode of this game, and not only was it good, it surpassed my expectations multiple times. This mode has a lot of twists for something that mostly implies narrative, or otherwise ignores it. I’m the rare person who mostly plays Smash Bros solo because I have NO FRIENDS, and this was worth the price of admission for me. I don’t consider Smash Ultimate itself beaten yet because I haven’t beaten Classic Mode on 9.9 difficulty yet. I have finished with 9.8, like, four times. Please kill me. (Beaten 1/18/19)

PaRappa the Rapper (PSP): While taking care of my cat, I found an opportunity to actually use my PSP for the first time since...2008 or 09? When I bought it secondhand? Jesus. Anyway, it turns out that PaRappa actually has absurd input detection and an equally hard to parse system for what counts as “freestyling”, which ultimately results in a final stage where you’re...required to play notes that are completely unrelated to what it says to do on-screen? I still beat the game (in a single sitting, too. it’s short), but I was pretty frustrated. Greenblat’s aesthetic is iconic, and the songs are very fun to listen to (this game has maybe the only potty humor I actually enjoyed), but the game part is actually the problem. (Beaten 1/25/19)

Patapon (PSP): I played PaRappa spontaneously, but I’ve actually meant to play the Patapon series for quite a while. This is less a song-performing rhythm game and more of an action/strategy type of rhythm game where you consistently keep a beat to keep morale up. It’s pretty good, but missions can be 3-6 minutes of consecutively hitting four notes and then waiting four notes, and while that itself sounds doable, I am just terrible at rhythm and messed up a lot of good opportunities. The difficulty curve in this is high in the beginning, lowers over time, before hitting a huge spike and then being a cakewalk for the last four or so missions. There’s also a lot of grinding, which means this rhythm game came out to almost a 16 hour run. A bit tiring. Not sure when I’ll jump on Patapon 2, but I hope it’s easier to play, since my impetus for picking up the series was the intro FMV for the third game. (Beaten 1/30/19)

Games beaten in January: 5 Games beaten in 2019 thus far: 5

Manga:

Getter Robo Vol 2 (Finished): I didn’t feel like plowing through 51 episodes of the old 70s anime, so I decided to just read the much shorter, and somewhat unrelated manga. In the show, the heroes are what they are, heroes. Likable mains for kids to watch on Saturday mornings. In the manga, as per Go Nagai’s influence (and the main author, Ken Ishikawa, who I LOVE and who was Nagai’s assistant), the heroes are violent asshole moron sociopath terrorists who gradually become more unhinged as they are exposed to the very radiation that powers the machine they use to fight dinosaurs (though said gradual descent is more of a thing in the later manga/OVAs). Also, the villains are dinosaurs. Turns out they had the original ancient civilization and Getter Rays chased them into the Earth’s core and they want to planet back. That’s Getter Robo! It’s very good.

Getter Robo G Vol 1-3 (Finished): This is kind of more of the same as the first, and again, I didn’t want to watch the 39 episodes, I wanted the primer so I could play SRW. As I’ve approached the later games, it turns out they prefer to take influence from the shows, not the manga. Oops! Whatever. In this sequel, it turns out the Dinosaur Empire was a pawn or something to It Was Aliens, the Hyakki Empire, and it’s...more of the same. In both the GR and GR G mangas, I found the occasional chapter with wildly different art, and I figured that those were Ishikawa’s gorgeous art, and the majority was Nagai’s. But, I’m not sure, and I wonder if those were revised or extra chapters done years later. Idk. Anyway, they are both very fun reads, even if they serve more as primers of the lore.

Shin Getter Robo Vol 1-2 (Finished): HERE’s where things start to get really good, and surreal, and bleak. This manga is not adapting a tv series (though later OVAs would reference it. This manga is actually I think where a lot of the inspiration for Gurren Lagann came from, and if you like that series, you should read this to see the connection. I can’t really explain without spoiling either (though if in 2019 you don’t know what happens in Gurren, you are super lucky and need to go watch it all asap). NOTE, this takes place after the 7 volume Getter Robo Go manga, which has a show but I think is unrelated, but more importantly is probably the BEST Getter Robo series. I read that before knowing a thing about Getter and still loved it (though I think having context will really benefit it). GR Go is the biggest justification for getting into the series. If any friends of mine want to look into this series, I’ll actually help give them a guide. Interestingly, the most modern Getter series (of which the most recent was in 2004 (please come back)) all take reference from the darker mangas, not the old 70s show.

Mazinger Z Vol 1-5 (Finished): I think Go Nagai’s works are weird, melodramatic, gross, and just kinda badly drawn. They are great experiences, if you go in with a grain of salt and also avoid the *most* transgressive ones. Don’t google Iron Virgin Jun. Just. Don’t do it. Devilman is probably his best work, but Mazinger Z is another series with a much more famous long-running 70s cartoon (92 episodes!!!) and burned itself into the nostalgia of Japan. Whereas Devilman eventually becomes traumatizing, Mazinger Z is pretty laid back and goofy, while also being Nagai’s brand of The Most Dramatic Thing Ever. If you follow me, you might’ve seen me post pages in my manga tag. It’s a LOT. Though, actually, I don’t think this manga is all that great. It can be *really* funny, but I don’t even remember if the series actually ends. If you read one or two volumes and want to put it down, I think you’re safe to. You got most of the lore. The biggest events seem to take place in later series that I haven’t delved into yet.

UFO Robo Grendizer Vol 1 (Finished): I actually haven’t been able to find anywhere to read Great Mazinger, the sequel series, so I skipped to Grendizer, which is the second sequel. It’s pretty unrelated continuity-wise, so it’s easy to pick up. This is only one volume and yeah they really just want you to watch the 74 episode show, but I’m good. Still, this is a fun book, and Nagai throws in his batshit ideas. The main character is an alien prince whose tragic backstory is literally that the villain kidnapped his younger siblings and all the country’s children and just! Dropped them all from the sky to their death in the middle of the city! And they don’t censor it! GO NAGAI! I really need to read the autobio manga Gekiman because of what snippets I’ve seen, Nagai is actually a super mild-mannered dude who doesn’t really get where his ideas cross lines. If you want to say “oh that’s just wacky Japan”, it’s really not, he was public enemy #1 with parents all over the country for a long time.

Super Robot Retsuden Vol 1 (Finished): This is a single volume crossover of Nagai super robot IPs including Mazinger Z, Getter Robo, Great Mazinger, Grendizer, and Steel Jeeg (a guy who’s more Ultraman-adjacent than super robot), and there’s no real plot beyond “oh no new bad guy! buy the toys, kids!” It’s throwaway, and I mostly read it to see who Jeeg is without getting into his own series. Also, it was drawn by Ishikawa, so I felt a bit obligated. His art is just so pretty.

Lucifer and the Biscuit Hammer Vol 1 (and maybe 2?): Satoshi Mizukami is a godly storyteller who uses the language of shonen to tell deeply mature and introspective stories for adults and if you follow my posts you might remember me gushing about Spirit Circle and Planet With. I actually haven’t touched this series since February started but I need to get back in because the first two volumes out of ten are amazing (warning, though: there’s a pet death and it’s real sudden and was hard for me to handle). Please read Mizukami’s works.

Manga volumes read in January: 14-15 Manga volumes read in 2019 thus far: 14-15

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Okay that’s everything. I wrote a lot more than I expected to. If you read all that, thanks. If you are interested in any of the things I wrote about, great! If you decide to play through SRW2, don’t, stop, don’t do that. In a few days I’ll be writing about a much better SRW game.

[inmomni]

No. 14b

I. Intro/Premise:

Hi, my name is Inmo, i am a senior biological studies major at Biola University. I’ve grown up in the church all my life, and I am currently a frustrated, working past it, christian who doesn’t work as advertised.  

This became clear to me after my youth group’s 2015 winter retreat that i got “saved” for like, the third time that my best friend and i had an interesting conversation about our sin. I remember we were on a night hike with a few other of my church friends when i suddenly started to get a strong urge for a cigarette.  I hadn’t had one since the start of the winter retreat, which was about two weeks ago then and a long time for me.  It brought up this kind of frustration in me.  Not because the craving was getting worse, but because i had just been “saved,” again. See in my mind, if you were with Jesus, you should be the farthest away from sin because of this new found love that you have for Jesus now; so in turn, that would make you naturally hate sin, ya know? Sharing the comment with my church friend, it sparked some talk about the fallenness of man and how we innately fall away from God, you know the gist, and we went on for about an hour when pent up with frustration about how i still want sin after all that God had shown me, after knowing what He did for me, after experiencing how much He loves me,

I said, “I wish God could just make us love him so much right now that we would never dare to sin again.”  

II. Idealistic Picture vs: Reality

Idealistic: [See], I thought I knew what a christian should look like. I’ve been to church all my life, so that being said, I think I have a pretty good idea of what an idealized modern day non-Jesus Christian would be like:

Prays for at least 30 mins a day, an hour if it didn’t cry at all to “push through and seek the Lord”….Or an hour if you did cry cause, you cried and you had a moment with Jesus.  

Reads the word every day without fail, even if you don’t have time for it cause you’re too busy serving, you get it in somehow by listening to an ESV ebook bible or through your 2min New Morning Mercies.

Just exudes Jesus everywhere they go, like to the point where you feel so sinful if you’re around them, but somehow they’re so humble that it doesn’t even cross your mind.

Raises their hands every single worship song at some point in the chorus and definitely the verses cause no one raises their hands for those

Every single conversation they have in passing turns into some life changing prophetic revelation for both parties involved

The list can go on.

Past Reality:

As you can see, I think a lot, my mind is always racing, and in science and especially in theology i really like to understand things and how they work, I need sequential process.  So if I don’t understand something, I will just sit there until I get it to take an action on it. I need to know what to do, I need direction, and I need it NOW. So in grappling with my newfound faith during my early high school years, my sinfulness, how to pray, what to think during worship, how to know if I’m being genuine, what I need to be feeling when I encounter God, and i started picking away at my own faith with my doubt.  And with doubt, I froze, because I didn’t understand it, and because I didn’t understand it I would question if I was a christian at all because I didn’t act the way I thought i was supposed to.  I didn’t reach out to leadership, I didn’t ask my pastor or small group leader any questions I had, how to walk in the faith, I simply took what I saw, held up myself against that standard, and graded myself accordingly.  And because I wasn’t doing well with the Lord, all other areas of my life would suffer, my overall mood, my motivation, my assurance in God and his character; nothing was stable. So I started to seek refuge from my reality in things like video games, anime, kdramas, sleeping, and slowly that evolved into trying weed for the first time, and then turning that into an everyday thing, with a daily goal of escaping reality and forgetting how terrible of a person I am. I was open to having fun, cause my life didn’t offer much as it was, and because all of this relied on how i felt, it wouldn’t be like this all the time, maybe just months at a time, sandwiched by seasons of “doing alright”, or a year on, and a year completely clean because God did graciously meet me in those moments, but nothing really changed, even if it was a year away, it doesn’t change the fact that I failed.

There emerged a very cyclic pattern starting since senior year of high school:

Summer is so good, it’s great, restful, had a bunch of fun, ready to get back to work

Fall initially is really good, meeting up with friends, keeping up with academics, motivated, I’m doing okay with God, reading here and there, not consistently, but reading at least, not doing bad things and such… then it starts to drop off around late October. I start getting less motivated, missing more classes, sleeping in more, trying to escape reality more.

Winter is super bad, just bummy lazy disgusting, right up until finals week approaches from where I jump up out of bed and turn into a study machine.

This carries on past spring and then probably into summer again. Then it repeats.

Recent past reality: 

This cycle got worse every single year, until last year, my junior year, when I failed 3 classes second semester.

It was my junior year, and I’m a bio major.  I’m trying to become a doctor, but now I’m not even sure of that anymore.  

Present Reality:

If I’m honest today… I’m a slob, my sleeping schedule is a mess, I’m not even properly eating and what the heck is up with that. I don’t go to the gym anymore. I’m not loving on the people that are close to me well at all. I feel so selfish and twisted. I think myself into a pit, dramatically breaking apart my own self confidence and credibility to myself.

It’s easy for me to think: “God, I feel like such a failure. I’ve tried so hard, my bootstraps ripping into the palms of my hand, to be a Christian, to stay in the faith, but it’s too hard. I don’t get it, and i don’t understand it. If i did, then maybe i wouldn’t be like this.  If i was a christian, I wouldn’t be doing X, Y, and Z or i would have fixed this part of myself ages ago.  I should have had a consistent routine with God by now, talking with him, I should be the ideal christian by now.”  IF I had truly been a christian up til now, holy, I’ve lived 21 years exposed to the gospel, and I don’t know how to do this thing. I should just give up.” I couldn’t even trust myself, the feelings and emotions I had, my all my actions can be accompanied by an army of voices questioning my intentions for everything.  Everything was falling apart, my future, my faith, my academics, nothing was solid, nothing was stable, the way I am right now, I can’t even pick myself up again. I can’t do this.

III. Realization & God-centered Reality

But that’s when it became clear to me.  If you’ve noticed by now, I’ve used the word “I” so many times up til this point. God just started highlighting all of the I’s I used, and he started replacing them with His name.  and it all started to click.  Maybe the reason I failed all these times was to bring me to a place where I could say, with my heart inside out, “God help me please, I don’t know what to do.”  I tried to do things my own way for 3 almost 4 years now and i failed every single time, maybe it’s time to look towards God and not myself.  

God reminded me of a passage in Numbers 21:6-9 where it talks about God sending fiery serpents to the people of Israel.  In short, God sent fiery serpents to the people of israel because of their disobedience, killed a lot of people, then told Moses to construct a bronze snake so that people could look at it and live.  Notice God didn’t say be healed from their afflictions.  He just said that they would live, like NIRV even says that they “remained alive”.  So what are the takeaways here for me? As you live your life, with or without God, you’re going to get bit, like 100%, when God said he sent serpents that killed many, I’m sure it wasn’t just a heist size group of snakes that ravaged the entire population, but a disgusting amount of serpents.  You can try to fend for yourself, or you can look up at God and get through this thing with him.  

The amazing thing is, that when I look to him, I see the moments where God affirmed me in my spiritual growth, all in retrospect of course.

I remember a time at Chick-fil-a with the same Caleb after serving at VBS where one of these moments happened. We had just finished up a day where the theme was the good news.

I started asking him about what he thought of the entire day that we just ran through. He responded with a “It was kinda weird”, not really a straight answer, but to see more what I’m thinking.  I started explaining how they didn’t do the gospel justice, how this wasn’t something that was deserving of being rushed or just gotten over with, especially if it is for these kids.  At one point, some guy paraphrased the gospel to,

“uhh we sinned, Jesus died on the cross for them, and, oh shoot were out of time, can the crew leaders explain the rest on the way to the next station” Everything was so rushed, paraphrased, cut off, I understand we were pressed for time the entire program, but dang did this topic deserve more respect.

I was getting really emotional, and tears started running down my eyes at which point caleb asked me why I was crying.  I didn’t understand his question, until i remembered that all the conversations we had and all the things he’s seen me do don’t point to an impassioned college student upset because his church’s VBS didn’t do the gospel enough justice when presenting it to 5-10 year olds.  That was when I realized God has taught me the weight of his gospel

There were other instances like this:

When i first got to Biola, and I hated it, but God told me through the` song i hated the most during high school  (Christ is Enough) that though i may think that i failed because nothing went to plan, its all according to his. He’s bringing me to a place where I can say Christ is all I need, and he placed that desire in my heart.

Placing me in Torrey, a great books program at Biola,  so that I would have a deeper knowledge of the word and how to converse with people, to have that show up at a party filled with a bunch of non-christians who were talking philosophy of a higher being and of a purpose in life

Seeing that through every cycle of highs and lows, regardless of how low that low was, I still came back to a place where God met me.

IV Conclusion:

To be honest, I still don’t fully know what I’m doing.  I’m trying to read more.  Pray more, I don’t know what it looks like to do what I said just now, or what that actually looks like.  But regardless of what I know, or what I understand, God is doing things behind the scenes for my good.  That there is no other reason, there can’t be any other explanation than the grace that God gives me and sustains me with.  In this most darkest season of my life, I have never understood more clearly what it means to work out your faith with fear and trembling, to know that I am a christian despite all my crap, and that despite how hard I may want to leave, not even I can pluck myself out of God’s hand, because of the way He’s been teaching and shaping my heart. He’s locked me in.  Once you know, you know, with this sort of thing if you know, if you’ve seen or tasted just a fraction of his grace, you cannot go back. Grace prepares the heart for salvation, it is grace that one receives salvation, and it is through grace that salvation is sustained and sanctification is occurring.  I don’t know how I got here and how to get to where I need to be, but I just know that God’s got this.  

So I’m just going to take that and run.

[fantasticedifice]

Eight months into this year, and I’ve finally gotten around to building a journal. Luckily I only hold grudges against other people, otherwise I’d be quietly seething to myself about myself.

Journals are toted as being stellar for progression assurance; They show you where you’d been and let you track your path to where you want to go, and habits breed compliance. It’s straight-forward thinking, but my brain struggles to shimmy up and over the first few obstacle-strewn days with any new behaviour pattern. See also: this blog, which was intended to be a fortnightly thing. Regardless of the number of plates I’ve got spinning, I want to get better at spinning them so hopefully this physical, personal record will help with that. On with the show!

Fan-made art of Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure is consistently ranked among the top 5 greatest manga/anime franchises of all time, and has enjoyed mainstream success across Japan for over twenty years. The reason? It’s bizarre, naturally, but it’s creator (Hirohiko Araki) has infused Jojo with dozens of contemporary western references, naming dozens of characters after musicians and songs popular in the west at the time of production. Whilst we may think Japanophilia is in vogue in some circles here today, there is a reason the phrase ‘Big in Japan’ was coined; Japan had a thing for our rockstars, and Araki played off of this with wildly successful results.

What that produces, especially from the second season onwards, is a Japanese interpretation of perceived western characteristics and culture, foregrounded against a backdrop of vampires, magical breathing techniques and ethereal spirit-warriors with otherworldly powers (time control? we got it. really fast fencing? We got that in spades. The ability to pull people into a videogame and if you die in the game you die for real?… Probably too much of that, to be honest)

My point is, Jojo is a phenomenon, with an art style that begs for iteration, as we see above. The progression from Muscle boy to Slender boy is also mildly interesting:

Joseph Joestar, season 2

Josuke Higashikata, season 5

I’m a fan. You should watch it.

Find it here.

    Touch typing

I recently humbled myself when googling something on a close friend’s PC using only my two index fingers. The look he gave me was a confluence of amusement and concern; I, like the rest of the west, spend the majority of my time with a keyboard within inches of my mitts, yet I’ve lost the ability to touch type since we were taught it at school. I suppose a combination of poor adoption in the first instance and a path-of-least-resistance style reversion due to laziness has brought me back to typing the way my mom does.

Nevertheless, i realise that to be a better person, i need to patch all weaknesses, not just the ones i can brag about fixing later. So, if you (or a friend, if you want to be coy about it) need similar training advice for those disobedient digits, this site seems to be the easiest to pick up and use, which is what we want when learning or relearning stuff.

Nootropics

Tim Ferriss is my hero. If you know me, you know that. He has the discipline I wish I had, the resources I would dearly love to spend and the drive to pursue things because they fascinate him that I believe I share. The first point is why he’s such a big deal for me, though.

His determination has led to uncommon results, and his documentation of those results (ask me if you want to borrow his books that can also be used as cinder blocks, such is their size) is truly inspiring to me. While I still flounder at the very, very basic dietary advice he gives (doritos and monster do not feature, so what am I to do, really.) His fitness advice, both in terms of personal mental fitness and overall physical fitness 

is based on his experiences and discussions with those who would know, but what is most valuable to me are the resources he throws out there in the course of his studies. During his study into cognitive enhancement, mostly for language acquisition and memory improvement, Tim delved into nootropics – drugs that improve cognitive function. Naturally this sparked my interest since it seemed like the best and least taxing way to build a better self. Sadly it’s not that simple, but it is fascinating. There’s dozens of sites that go over individuals’ experiences with nootropic ‘stacks’ – groups of drugs that, taken together, act synergistically and affect cognition far more effectively than when taken in isolation. Check out this forum for a rabbit hole of science, placebos, illegality and extreme caffeine consumption. It’s a riot.

Who’s that Genre?

  Honestly, if anyone can help me with the categorization of this. sick. beat. then I’d be very grateful. I’m thinking of petitioning Jacob to make this the new podcast intro music, it’s that chill.

I’m taking this boat in a whole new direction from next week, things will be more concise and pithy and, importantly, more valuable as self improvement/autodidact fodder. (I’ll probably keep the music/artwork sections though. Gotta justify that Arts degree somehow)

Until then.

Jozef

  Sailor Boys and Drug Stacks Eight months into this year, and I've finally gotten around to building a journal. Luckily I only hold grudges against other people, otherwise I'd be quietly seething to myself about myself.

[zodiacaerobics-blog]

DJMcTom - Zodiac Aerobics

Finding Rap Songs

Understanding how to write rap music requires an comprehension of the fundamentals. Each rap song has a beat, hook, and verses, but there are several additional factors relevant to writing a rap tune. Each tune, whether it's rap, hip hop, R&B, or another genre, has a base style or pattern that's common to every tune belonging to that genre.

The first basic element to remember while seeking to learn how to compose a rap song is the beat. Every rap has a beat. It may vary according to the kind of tune the artist would like to create, and it may be exhausting accordingly. Not many raps are mad and full of violent beats and loud hooks; you will find rap tunes that are composed to electronic dance beats along with many others that are joyful rather than filled with harsh words and lyrics. Virtually every rap song has three basic components - the hook or chorus, intro, and verses. It's these three components that need to remember when learning how to compose a rap song.

There are different ways regarding how a rap song may begin. Generally when functioning on the best way to write a rap tune, writers attempt to experiment with different beginnings to determine that will suit the song the best. Raps usually start with a worthy piece that is followed using a verse or 2. However, based on the rap artist, the song may start right with all the hook which then contributes to the character, which can be followed by the first verse. Based on the kind of song the artist is hoping to compose, the number of poetry and arrangement of these parts fluctuates.

Typically, most rap songs consist of three, 16-bar verses, but a few songs have four poetry and 32 bars each. It depends on the lyrics and beat of this rap. The verse is the part that has the true lyrics or rap or vocals. This is the part which includes the majority of the lyrics as well as in which the meaning of the tune is portrayed to the viewer. Normally, the several verses from the song have the exact same length, but that is not a necessity. The length of verses might be different if the beats of the song varies.

Writing a rap song demands an comprehension of the essentials of rap song composing. The core requirements of composing rap include of first lyrics, understanding of rhyming approaches, and developing a strong back beat and hook that maintains the attention of listeners. Rap is composed of both rhymed couplets, which are usually set into a bass drum and beat. Possessing a great rhyming technique and flow is crucial to writing a rap tune.

Lyrically, the first step to writing a rap song is to choose a fantastic topic. The subject serves as the fundamental subject of the rap song. It might be about pain, love, joy, greed, racism, justice, partying, or just about anything.

The beat is essential to writing a rap song. Most lyricists write their lyrics into the beat, but others write the lyrics first and then create the instrumental track. A good bass beat can actually break or make a rap tune. A musician can produce a fantastic bass beat using an electronic drum loop or bass guitar. It is this bass beat that drives the entire rap track and the lyrical flow. The rapper should keep up with the bass beat.

A catchy hook is crucial to form the chorus of the rap tune. Lyrics should be composed in concert with all the bass beat and the selected rhyming scheme. Lyrics are regarded as the core strength of a rap. Lyrics are the distinguishing characteristic of rap, making distinct rap songs stand apart from others, even those that have the identical instrumental beat.

After composing the lyrics, writing a rap tune demands proper structuring. This involves interspersing the poetry together using the chorus and incorporating appropriate bridges or breakdowns to add thickness to the song structure. Lyrics are listed over the bass beat, verses, chorus, and bridge. The accession of punch lines may be used to bring an additional level for your rap lyrics, providing amusement and comedy. Drum fills like additional beats of bass and melody lines can also be inserted to the rap to add greater depth.

To write good rap tunes, you will have to personalize your rap lyrics and listen to and examine famous rap artists and music tunes. A perfect Mix of rhyme scheme, punch lines, word play, melody, and catchy bass beats, is going to lead to a popular rap song. Many rappers work and collaborate with different rappers to write a final draft rap tune.

Composing a rap tune, can be achieved by following some basic writing measures of construction and pattern. Rap as a genre might appear limited by a predefined set of beats and verses, but there is much more that goes into a rap tune than those few elements. Each rap song has components which are common to all tunes, irrespective of the artist or genre. For example, every rap has a whip, hook, chorus, and verses; it is the arrangement of these components that differs from song to song and artist to artist.

Ordinarily, when writing a rap song, the artist will start with working on the beat before composing the lyrics and vocal tracks. This is because once the instrumental beat is completed, it's usually simpler to write lyrics to the beat that than simply writing the lyrics first and then attempting to develop a beat that will go with the lyrics. Many raps include a drum track and bass line which plays along with the beat. Not many instrumental parts are needed because the principal portion of a rap is your vocal track, especially the hook or chorus that plays on repeat between the different verses.

Nowadays, however, rap tunes are becoming more experimental and collaborative, and many artists collaborate with other rappers during the process of writing a rap song. This leads to a final product that's a blend of two distinct rap styles which should complement one another. In addition, it forms a fresh style and creates the song writing process more manageable and intriguing as each artist has a unique musical perspective.

Sometimes along with the drum tracks and bass lines, a rap song samples loops of tracks by other artists, not necessarily belonging to the rap genre. Such samples coating over the first instrumental tracks to bring another dimension to the song. This brings about a combination of two distinct genres that collaborate for writing a rap tune that has all the components of a classic rap, with the beat, hook, and poetry as well as a looped sample track that adds a new layer into the rap song.

Composing a rap tune demands practice and editing. In all probability, your first draft will be fair at best. That is nice and is to be expected. Just rewrite, reorganize, and rework it until you attain the desirable effect. You can also hire a rap writer and editor to help turn your rough draft into a finished song.

It is possible to compose your own rap song if you have a couple skills needed to be able to do so. The most important skill that you will require is a great creativity or thought process. Other abilities include being able to concentrate, Rap Songs understanding about rap songs and using a great format. First, having an imagination is important when it comes time to write your own rap song because you'll want to come up with some hot rap lyrics which people will want to obey.

There are several rap songs out on the market today and it is tough at times to come up with something that's distinctive and fresh. You particularly need rap lyrics that will stand out from the remainder. For this, you want to use your creativity. You do not wish to decide on the normal rap lyrics that everybody else is using. The more creative and unique your rap lyrics are, the better chance your rap song will have of making it on the peak of the music charts. This also involves a good thought procedure.

Next, when you write your own rap tune, you will need to consider your lyrics and write them in a format that will be easy for you to follow. There are many ways that you can create a format though, the best approach is just to just write out every phase of the song based on the order that each stage will look. Starting with the name, you would write your own rap song from begin to finish as though it were an essay. This includes your chorus and verses. Write each step as you come to it so that you are not overwhelmed.

You should be Knowledgeable about the hottest rap tunes in The audio industry and the artists that created them. This will allow you to know what songs have been effective and which ones have not. Break apart the very popular tunes and think about what has made them hot then, use your knowledge to write your own rap tune which will top the charts.

Even those rappers who pride themselves on writing their own rap songs, occasionally collaborate with other writers. Whether that means bouncing ideas off one another or using a rapper compose a verse or even the whole song, there's not anything wrong with collaboration. Many rappers even use ghostwriters to write entire records, but the ghostwriters are not recognized and the rapper performs with the rap.

Are you interested in learning how to write a rap song? Well if so this guide needs to be able to give you a hand and have you composing rap songs in no time flat. As a hip-hop manufacturer I am very familiar with the process of composing rap songs. Because I believe that I have some advice that others will greatly benefit from I chose to discuss it with anyone who was ready to learn. In this article I will go over some fairly easy steps that will assist anybody who's seriously interested in figuring out how to write a rap tune.

You must bear in mind that there are several ways which you can go about studying this procedure. What I am about to share with you are the steps that I currently use to make rap songs. Take advantage of these measures how you need or follow these steps to a tee. It is completely up to you.

Receive a Topic - Get a idea about what your song will be about. Sometimes the mood that you're in will give you a few really fantastic topic ideas. As an instance if you're feeling happy and in a party mood you may want to write a tune along those lines. Perhaps you are having a bad moment. This can also give you a slew of suggestions for your rap song. If you allow your mood ascertain your song topic it would be only a matter of time until you have a set topic to write about.

Brain Storm - This is an essential part if not the most important part of learning how to compose a rap song. Brain storming is a great way to get the creative juices flowing. I sometimes sit in my chair for 30-45 minutes before I even pick up a pen. Just let ideas flow before you start actually writing anything.

Think Of A Title - Today is a fantastic time to consider a name for your tune. Now this doesn't mean that you can not change the name later. Selecting a name will provide you somewhat of a starting point for writing your tune.

Write The Chorus/Hook - I personally like to write the chorus of this tune before I begin writing the verses. I do so because it really helps me to determine what the lyrics will be. If you're writing to some beat a good idea is to really feel out the beat and write your hook to really fit the beat you're using. You ought to be aware that in most case the hook is what makes or breaks a song, so take your time when making yours.

Compose Your Verses - When it comes to writing a rap song I usually recommend writing 2-3 verses, rather 3. If you are going to utilize 2 poems they should be somewhat longer then each of your 3 chords will generally be. A verse usually consists of 16 bars (a pair of rhyming sentences = I pub). When writing your verses make certain that you're composing them to really fit your chorus. Your fundamental rap song arrangement usually goes intro, verse, hook, verse, hook, verse and hook. Of course you can change this structure for your liking. Just make sure it sounds great and not to out the normal.

Twist Up It - Now that your tune is totally composed you need to go over it. You really want to ensure that your lyrics make since and that your hook is perfect for the song. Do not hesitate heading over your song several times before you really promote it or record it yourself. Learning how to write a rap tune does not need to be difficult and hopefully this article hopefully demonstrates that.

[shhoatuva]

The Past, The Present, and Future: The Sound of Nayvadius Wilburn’s Declining Mental State

In a 2011 interview with an Atlanta radio station, rapper Nayvadius “Future” Wilburn was offered a career-defining question by the personality sitting across from him. “When it comes to you, as Future,” radio host B-High began. “What is it you want to bring to the Atlanta music scene that we haven’t already seen before?” The question came in lieu of the fact that despite having a chart-topping single in his writing and feature on rapper YC’s “Racks,” and releasing two mixtapes in the months prior to the interview, Future hadn’t yet completely distinguished himself from Atlanta artists who had the flame of their early careers smothered. “Stadium music, music with melody, something with a whole different feel.” Future replied after a short pause. “I just go off the vibes, it just has to grow with me.”

The idealism of his musical aesthetic being attached with growth as an individual soon set a precedent on the sonic and lyrical trajectory of Nayvadius Wilburn’s music. Life experience served as the most influential aspect of Future’s discography, and negative or positive “vibes” best serve as an indicator for his work’s persona. Future’s music would gradually depart from the utopic “stadium music” aesthetic and seep into a sound that was much more based around raw emotion, not necessarily a sound that was supposed to invoke emotion from a listener, but a sound that was much more telling of Future’s emotional state at the time of a song’s recording. Future’s sudden departure from an artist that meshed elements of cheery pop songs with trap music mirrored his departure from happiness. The subject matter and aesthetic in Future’s projects from 2011 until the present demonstrate the impact of his sudden rise to fame, the onset of a traumatic criminal history, the status of relationships with various women and his children, and the detrimental effects of copious drug usage.

Soon after the release of the mixtape consistently referred to in the interview between Future and B-High, “Dirty Sprite,” Future went on to release a mixtape titled “True Story.” The mixtape would include several of his more notable hits, like “Magic,” “Ain’t No Way Around It,” and “Tony Montana.” Lyrically, the songs are all predicated around a repeating chant based on the title of the song, making use of “economic” verbiage within a limited amount of beat. (Caramanica) This economic usage of lyrics would ensure the probability that these songs would become popular as a result of their simplicity and memorable world structure. With the exception of the choral arrangement on the intro to the mixtape, Future sings the choruses with assistance of a, while still minimal, noticeable dosage of autotune. Autotune had been proven throughout the past decade as an ingredient that could help distinguish one’s music from others, if used correctly. Future’s usage of auto tune throughout his early career took on an innocent appearance, as his voice was mastered a pitch above normal, assuming a lighthearted, radio friendly presence not completely parallel to the subject manner within the mixtapes. Future’s intent to solely separate himself from other rappers, as opposed to complete vulnerability through production and lyricism demonstrated a mental condition that wasn’t plagued by external issues. In comparison to later works, his voice was objectively less garbled, more upbeat, and characterized by the intermittent addition of a singing tone.

Production on Future’s first three mixtapes, including the two that preceded “True Story,” titled “Dirty Sprite” and “1000,” was much far less abrasive than much of the mixtapes circulating around the hip-hop scene, and even farther less abrasive than the mixtapes being released in Atlanta. Tity Boy’s (2Chainz) “Codeine Cowboy,” Alley Boy’s “Definition of F**k S**t,” and Waka Flocka and French Montana’s “Lock Out” were three Atlanta-based mixtapes defined by their abundant usage of 808s and subwoofer-shaking bass. (Richards) Throughout the years 2011 and 2012, Future’s mixtapes made usage of the crooning synthesizers and horns of producers like Mike Will Made-It, Will A Fool, and Zaytoven. The lack of abrasive, harsh production that typically defined Atlanta hip-hop artists during Future’s early career demonstrated a stark contrast between him and other artists. Future’s early work did not include darker, depressive subject matter like his later work. The hybrid formulation of a pop aesthetic with the “trap” lyrical themes would lead to a rapid rise of success for Nayvadius. The first three mixtapes would aid Future in reeling in a major label offer from Epic Records, and much commercial success.

The advent of newfound fame and fortune meshed with upgraded production value on his next project, titled “Streetz Calling.” The first track on the mixtape, “Made Myself a Boss,” used production from Zaytoven that maintained a bubbly and light-hearted tone. Much like the rest of the mixtape, the song uses celebratory anecdotes to remark at the success of his previous projects. “I paid my grandma’s rent/and got my little sister a house,” he urges. “I keep a pocket full of money every time I step out.” While his previous mixtapes fondly reminisced on his days of drug dealing, or combined elements of pop songs with Atlanta trap music, “Streetz Calling” would represent the merriest of work Future would release in the period from 2011 to 2015. The most observable example of this phenomenon would come on the third track of “Streetz Calling,” titled “Same Damn Time.” In a testament to his happiness, Future experimented with a slight departure from the formula that made him so popular: a chorus where his voice was not mastered to a higher pitch. Instead, he barks at the listener in an exaggerated version of his already grizzly voice: “I wear Gucci, I wear Bally, at the same damn time/Selling white, selling mid, at the same damn time.” Much like the subject matter where Future’s song character is that of a drug dealer that buys too much designer clothing, and sells too many drugs, Future was experiencing the byproduct of too much early success. The same departure was observable through the instrumentalism of “Same Damn Time,” which used a drum pattern and bass that typically would be considered too egregious for his earlier work. Future’s dialogue with the listener would assume its most celebratory form in this late 2011 period.

Future grew up in the Kirkwood backstreets of Metro Atlanta, an area that was especially hard hit by the crack epidemic of the 1980s. Many of his aunts and uncles were affected by an addiction to crack cocaine. At the age of seven, Wilburn saw the murder rate in his hometown practically double over a summer. Years later, he was shot in the hand while attempting to sell drugs to make ends meet. (Winegarten) The gradual traumatic effects of this upbringing would creep onto his next project, “Astronaut Status.” Despite attempts to continue to continue the formulaic pop-structure that made him so popular, the influence of a criminal history and traumatic upbringing would influence Future’s sound from 2012 onwards. In a 2012 interview with Rolling Stone, Future stated: “When I was in the streets, I ain’t never think about that, man, f**k tomorrow, n***a, let’s do this s**t today,” he says. “I’m a f****g rock star, dogg. I’m enjoying this s**t, I ain’t trying to remember yesterday.” (Winegarten) His attempt to abandon his history would cause the traumatic sound to be repressed, and only become relatively minimally apparent on “Astronaut Status” in comparison to his later works. While some songs abided by many of the same themes as his earlier work, the lyrical content on “Deeper than the Ocean” and “Itching” represented two notable examples Future’s failure to completely repress the demons of his past. On “Deeper than the Ocean,” Future recites: “My n***a set my n***a up/this game is full of madness,” in memoriam of his status as a dealer in the drug “game.” “Sometimes I want to get inside my Escalade and crash it/my pain is running deeper than the ocean.” The inclusion of suicidal ideations on the song as a result of the stresses of drug dealing was a telling indicator of Future mental state. On “Itching”, Future compares a side-effect of crack withdrawal, itching, to his pursuit of money: “My fingers, they itching, they itching for that paper” he chants. The production on the song is muted, composed of a single lead synth and hi-hat pattern provided by producer Mike Will Made-It. Future’s willingness to draw from his murky past while simultaneously attempting to repress it marked a turning point in his mental state, and therefore the sound of his music.

In January 2013, rumors began circulating that Future was dating artist Ciara. During this time, Future released “FBG: The Movie” in preparation for a then unnamed upcoming album. The mixtape would see a return to the song structure that marked many of his successful early singles, like “B***hes Love Me.” On the song, Future was on chorus duty, reprising his familiar auto tune pitch to talk about the benefits of his sexual prowess, marijuana, and strong alcohol. The coincidence between this return to the pop structure and his relationship with Ciara was evident throughout the entire work. On “Fo Real,” he referred to Ciara: “I met that girl and had to spoil her, cause that girl’s so loyal/I met her when she was a dime and turned her into a quarter.” The note Future sung the lyrics in is higher than the rest of the song. Where the instrumental mostly occupies the tuning note of “B,” Future sings the lines referring to Ciara in a “C to C Sharp” scale, demonstrating his happiness about being with her.

Future’s 2014 album “Honest” would serve as the denouement as the story between Ciara and Future. On the album, tracks “I Won,” “I Be U,” and “I’ll Be Yours” serve as straightforward love songs in reference to Ciara. Future and Ciara were engaged just months earlier, in October 2013. A month before the album’s release, in March 2014, he announced that the two were expecting a baby boy. (MTV News) The restabilization of his mental condition in light of his love for Ciara was directly reflected in the subject manner on “Honest.” The three tracks feature Future singing the entire time, going into great detail about his habit of spoiling Ciara, and the continued commitment to a relationship with her. Future’s vocals were mastered at a high volume, giving the listener an “honest” exposition to Future’s psyche. Unlike previous projects, Future did not make mumbling or garbled language a deliberate part of the odes to Ciara. Instead, clear, elaborate language made up the bulk of the lyrics, marking a departure from the catchiness of his earlier works. Drug innuendos comprised less of all three songs in comparison to the songs on mix tapes past, instead focusing on the characterization of love. Future penned and sung the chorus to a song titled “Loveeee Song,” a song featured on Rihanna’s album, “Unapologetic.” The song paid homage to aforementioned characterization.

In August 2014, just three months after the birth of their son, Ciara and Future broke up. The effect on his music that this had was near immediate. He released three mix tapes within a four-month period from October 2014 to January 2015, titled “Monster,” “Beast Mode,” and “56 Nights.” At this point in his career, Future highlighted his problems via sound with false braggadocio, references to drug usage, and a darker production style. Whereas Honest ended with a glossy testament to love, titled “I’ll Be Yours,” Monster began with a cacophonous Metro Boomin-produced song titled “Radical.” The track begins with a pitched-down sample of an aboriginal didgeridoo, soon followed by the lowest pitched version of Future vocals ever observed in his career. Future’s exposition of anger, pain, and hurt in the months that followed the breakup with his ex-fiancée is apparent in the chant throughout the introductory verse. “Fuck all your attitude, fuck all your gratitude” he begins. In his early work, references to drug usage was only referred to metaphorically or in the pursuit of wordplay, while on the trilogy of mixtapes he released in 2014 and 2015, he goes into explicit detail. “It don’t fuck with my conscience/I’ll serve my auntie that raw,” he recites in a trance-like manner on song “Monster.” The same cocaine addicted auntie that he characterized in an early work and interviews with sympathy is now viewed with hatred, a hatred that runs so deep that he’s willing to sell her crack himself. On the three mixtapes, Future lashes out at the listener (saying that he’ll take their girlfriend on multiple tracks), Ciara, and most apparent, at himself.

Monster served as an initial response to the recent breakup, and track “Throw Away” was the most explicit of those responses. Future creates an interesting narrative as the song only makes reference to stark nihilism, where women only serve as sources of sexual favors, and are as easy to throw away as a “pistol.” Halfway through the song, the beat changes to one much more mellow. “Deep down, I believe you know a monster too.” Future’s bipolar behavior goes from one of hatred to understanding, recalling the multiple times that he did cheat and potentially be the cause of the relationship between him and Ciara ending. “Go on, f**k that n***a, and get it over with,” he instructs her. He wants Ciara to get sex out of her system if that’s what it will take for her to get even with him cheating on her. The song ricochets between a variety of emotions, self-loathing, manipulative, angry, compassionate: an ideal characterization of Future’s deteriorating and nigh-schizophrenic psyche. Future’s vocal volume changes after the beat switch, extenuating upon an impression of a schizophrenic “monster” with no control of his emotions.

The mix tape concludes with “Codeine Crazy,” an ode to his usage of promethazine codeine as a coping mechanism for both the custody loss of his son and his ex-fiancée. The track serves as the most self-aware of Future’s explanations about his depression: “I’m going crazy about it/I’m going codeine crazy/That’s how I’m living it/I’m feeling lovely.” he begins the song. Later, he confesses that “I’m an addict, and I can’t even hide it.” Future comes to a conclusive realization by the end of the mix tape, finding solace in abandoning his mainstream sound and lifestyle in lieu of one that includes a variety of women, drugs, and more visceral musical elements. It is in these factors where Future finds himself most comfortable. The confident nature of his lyrical presentation, ability to switch flows in an effort to garner unique performance, and newfound love for an Atlanta trap style that he attempted to stray away from all demonstrate this phenomenon.

“I can’t change, I was God given/they tried to make me a pop star, and they made a monster.” Future raps on his July 2015 album, “Dirty Sprite 2.” In the months that followed the release of Honest and the breakup with Ciara, Future utilized a grittier sound that marked a complete departure from his pop-friendly works throughout late 2013 and 2014. As opposed to the mixed array of producers used on previous projects, “Dirty Sprite 2,” Future completely depends on the work of young Atlanta producers Metro Boomin, the “808 Mafia” Collective, and Zaytoven. (Epic Records) The album was recorded in Atlanta, produced by producers residing in Atlanta, and mastered in Atlanta, lending credence to Future’s willingness to return to his original sound. Future’s willingness to work with these young producers also cultivated a transformative phase in his sound, considering louder percussions than any of his previous works characterize the beats used on Dirty Sprite 2.

In the investigation of Future’s transformation as an artist in regards to the state of his psyche, it can be noted that there is a methodology to which he abided. In 2011, he stated himself that he wanted to create melodic “stadium music.” In doing so, he subscribed to lyrical content and production styles that were similar to that of most pop songs. The inclusion of his previous life as a drug dealer soon began to reveal underlying thoughts within his subconscious to a small degree within his early mixtapes. However, his relationship with Ciara served as a reason to extend upon this “stadium music” style, beginning to edge into the R&B genre in terms of subject matter. With the abrupt end to their relationship, Future attached that style of “pop” music as a byproduct of his relationship with her. In an attempt to invalidate his failed relationship, Future’s late 2014 and early 2015 discography is marked by a complete reversal on “pop” themes, instead doubling-down on the “monstrous” side of his personality in order to continue his career.

Written by George Adeosun

Photos: Mr. Porter

Citations:

Caramanica, Jon. “Intricacy And Economy.” Village Voice. Village Voice, 11 Jan. 2005. Web. 7 Dec. 2015.

Gale, Alex. “The 25 Best Mixtapes of 2011.” Complex. N.p., 25 Dec. 2011. Web. 8 Dec. 2015.

Weingarten, Christopher. “Future: How Hip-Hop’s Paranoid Android Became a Robocroon Superstar.”Rolling Stone. N.p., 15 Apr. 2014. Web. 8 Dec. 2015.

Staff, MTV. “Future and Ciara Get Engaged.” MTV. N.p., 28 Oct. 2013. Web. 7 Dec. 2015.