#and tk willing to give up everything just so carlos wouldn't have to suffer too

[road1985birthdaybingo]

Title: The night took a wrong path

Summary: A nice Saturday evening, the first one Carlos and TK don't have to work and can be together. But TK knows something's wrong when Carlos has left the bar and doesn't answer his message.

Acknowledgement: Dear @lire-casander This work is also part yours. Thanks for being there and help. @morganaspendragonss Thansk for being my other beta and best supporter.

Notes: Be aware of the sort of selfharm, the angst and Hurt. This is a very heavy and difficult story with Carlos breaking down with a very heavy panic attack, hearing voices and everything.

I promise this story will have a happy ending.

If he asked him what had happened from the moment he met the two policemen until he crossed the door of his house, Carlos would say he didn't know. When those two guys had left him lying on the ground next to his car, he had stayed there, sitting down because his legs were nothing more than two bunches of huge flans that would not be able to keep him standing for a long time.

Nobody appeared around him, so he stayed there, hugging his body, his head buried between his legs and when he couldn't hold on any longer, he burst into tears.

The crying lasted a long time because he was afraid that someone would see him there, in that state, and ask him if he was well or what had happened. He did not want and could not give explanations.

More like an automaton than himself, he drove home. He was too nervous, but he was not aware of anything going on around him, so he simply followed his instinct that made him get home.

He was scared, scared to death, imagining what those guys could do to TK. He couldn't get it out of his head, he didn't care what they did to him, he was ready to fight, just like he had been in the alley Saturday night.

If TK hadn't shown up he surely would have ended up in the hospital with more broken bones than he could imagine but those two bastards wouldn't have gone down easy.

Everything was different now. Two homophobic racists, like the many he had met in his life, had turned into two hotheads capable of showing up at his house and doing something horrible to TK just for the sake of being with him.

It was no longer just about him, about his pride, about showing who he really was in front of those who were willing to hurt him to shut him up. Now it was about protecting TK, his father, his family. He was sure they would have no problem hurting any of the members of the 126th either if he tried to stand up to them.

As soon as he entered his apartment, that place he thought was safe for him and TK, his home was darkening in front of his eyes, it was becoming gray, dangerous, and the shadows of the two policemen watching him.

The shadows moved around him, they multiplied and he began to hear them. They whispered at his back, next to his ear and told him that they were watching him, that they were watching him all day, all the time.

"Tell someone about us and your boyfriend will pay for it."

"We know where you live."

"We know when your boyfriend will be home alone."

"Can you imagine what we would do to a face as pretty as his?"

"His face alone will be the first thing we touch."

Carlos let out a loud scream that the neighbors probably heard, but for the first time since they had lived there he didn't mind disturbing the neighbors. He covered his ears with his hands and bit his lip so as not to scream, and so that the pain and even the taste of his own blood would make the voices fade away.

It was hard to breathe, he knew well what a panic attack was because it was not the first one he suffered in his life and he needed to take off his jacket, most of his clothes because it was tight, it hurt and maybe that was what did not allow him to breathe.

He thought about preparing something to eat for TK when he arrived, but his hands were shaking, he thought about sitting in front of the TV but he was attacked with nerves, his whole body was shaking. He thought about sleeping... but sleep meant nightmares and the return of voices and shadows.

Finally he opted for a shower, that always made him feel good. Of course, the shower was good for a long day, for complicated days, for headaches, arguments at the police station, even after having had a little run-in with TK.

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