#and to be fair it isn't hard to project complex trauma on him. He is already plenty traumatized as is

[planetaryaether]

I swear I have the capacity to be normal about things. with that being said I have many thoughtsTM about today's JF2 episode (#29).

Duncan volunteering to send his black lotus to Rythian as well is something that can be so personal. To over analyze it, although he says it is in case "the first one gets lost" they have no reason to think that items wouldn't get to their destined locations, so the choice reads much more as a gesture of friendship. After the events of Flux Buddies (no spoilers) Duncan has had to learn to face the consequences of his own actions in a way that he simply had not during Blackrock - which at the end of the day was the thing that drove a wedge between him and Rythian.

By not being able to accept that his actions led to genuine harm (intended or not) to those he called his friends signaled to Rythian that he cannot trust others/especially Duncan again. This perceived threat of future betrayal combined with Rythian thinking that Zoey had joined forces with Duncan and the nuke reveal all served to retraumatize Rythian, placing a wedge in their relationship that has not been able to be addressed due to the end of Season 2 and Rythian deciding to give up on any relationship (friend or enemy) with Duncan ('the opposite of love is not hatred, it is indifference' etc etc).

So Rythian choosing to send this task to the JF2 crew, almost certainly knowing that Duncan is among them, shows that Rythian has been able to grow since we have last seen him. He has been able to finally process, at least to a degree, what he has been through and perhaps is able to understand why Duncan acted the way that he did - that he never meant to cause harm but was terrified for his own safety both in the old and tekket worlds.

Duncan being the one, in episode 28, to want to listen to the message (as well as including the purple flag 'for Rythian') shows how much he has also changed. That he also understands, at least to a degree, where Rythian was coming from and why he did what he did AND that he doesn't hold that against him. All of this happening independently from each other until now. Rythian made the first move at reconciliation with entrusting Duncan (and the others of course) with a task that was important to him (but at the same time it is a task with a low level of responsibility so that if Duncan did not want to accept this peace offering of sorts, no harm would come to Rythian/Zoey). And Duncan, by sending his black lotus after barry has already sent one, is a clear acceptance of that gesture. More than that, it is returning a peace offering of his own. (and to REALLY over analyze, sending flowers is a sign of an apology with black/dark lotus flowers in multiple cultures representing rebirth).

Even if we never get anything else Blackrock related (which I am of course not counting on getting anything more), this serves as a wonderful epilogue to their dynamic, especially with some of the main themes of Blackrock being about the cycle of violence and the question of 'can you heal from your traumas before they destroy what you care about most?' (mostly focusing on platonic/romantic relationships) with the answer being that 'your actions will change the relationship from what it otherwise would have been, but if and only if both parties want to heal the relationship and put in the necessary time and effort to do so, then the relationship can survive'. And here we are getting a sign that both of them are willing to do something to salvage their friendship. It will never be what it was in the Old World, but the friendship is not gone, it just has a new starting point.

[fangswbenefits]

Hi, guys!

To be fair, I do think I really need to improve writing Astarion when vulnerable. It's not that easy for me, and I think it's the weakest part of this story. I try my best to make it sound like him, but it's really hard.

But the thing about my story is that it tackles unromanced spawn Astarion.

It's not always easy to deal with trauma. Healing isn't necessarily going from point A to point B in a straight line. Sometimes, there are shortcuts, sometimes there is a point C somewhere. Maybe there's all sorts of crazy loops. Some people never heal.

Writing for Astarion is difficult in general because he is such a complex character and getting his voice juat right can be tricky, so I apologise if it's messy at times. I am trying my best to keep it consistent 🙏🩷

With all of this being said, The Arrangement is my passion project right now. I really fell in love with the story. Maybe it sounds strange since I'm the writer, but sometimes we don't feel the passion for what we write, but I do feel it for this story. So if you want to tag along and enjoy this character study with me.... 🥹🙏

[zo1nkss]

@jeffsatyr you're so right, and acrually I'm kind of DYING to talk about it lately because I've seen some really good mentions of said trauma re: how it impacts his responses to Willy and I think some of them bear repeating.

Because the sentiment I see most often from people who are in either camp of "Babe is going to cheat" or "Babe won't cheat, but he's not trying hard enough to prove it" is that he isn't reacting by physically forcing Willy to move or leave. But I think we need to take a step back from our expectations and emotional projections for a moment and really think about what Babe went through in season 1.

His best friend spent ten years manipulating his very image of himself. So much of what he thought and believed about himself and the world around him was intentionally shaped by someone else, by force. This man was able to lay a hand on Babe and influence him to think, say, do, or experience anything he wanted -- up to and including full-body paralysis. And said best friend used this power to take advantage of him in one of the most horrifying and life-altering ways he could have. He was only so incredibly lucky Way didn't succeed because Charlie was smart, and had the forethought to act quickly.

Someone pointed out - forgive me I don't have the will to go looking for the url at the moment but if you recognize yourself give a hollar - that it wouldn't be far-fetched to assume that Babe probably doesn't want a lot of people touching him period after something like that. I really loved that take, and maybe it's more complex snd nuanced than that. But at the end of the day, throughout his entire life touch has been a significant orcestrator of pain and manipulation against Babe. Even before Way ever came into his life. From abuse at the hands of Tony, to complete and utter helplessness because of Way, being touched has not always brought positive experiences for him.

I think it's entirely fair for us to cut him a bit of slack regarding Willy, considering this is yet another man he's not interested feeling completely entitled to his body. To touch and cozy up to him without consent, to inflict his sexual desires on him against his will. We, the audience - who has enough pieces of the puzzle to understand his motivations - can surely imagine how triggering that must feel after everything Way put him through. The instinct to run or hide must be so strong, and he has to fight it every time Willy harasses him yet again. One of those times, he was literally trapped in a hospital bed - which must have felt a hell of a lot like being trapped in his own body. The fact that he has the strength and will to stand his ground whatsoever is frankly impressive and worth appreciating. This poor man is only trying the best he can with the tools he has at his disposal.

I have to feed my cat. I probably have more I could say but at this point I feel like I'm just rambling. Idk. Something, something, please give victims the space to be imperfect.

I've been on my "Babe Defense Squad" bullshit for the whole week atp but I wanna take a minute and earnestly talk about Babe's flaws in a way thats not borderline homophobic or outright victim blaming, because I see WAY too much of that in this fandom. I wanna talk about it because I actually love that he's an imperfect, flawed human being with significant trauma that informs so much of his daily life.

1. Terrible Communication

Let's be real okay. Babe is NOT good at talking about his feelings. He's emotionally constipated and has almost no patience for serious conversation. Instead he jumps to conclusions and makes snap decisions based on Vibes, and it has classically Not Worked Out for him. He's just lucky Charlie is stubborn and refuses to let him get away that easily, because Babe's #1 coping slill is aggressively pushing people away.

I was actually surprised and highly impressed to see how much he had improved on that in s2. Even when he wasn't admitting the whole truth to Charlie, he wasn't quite as resistent or bothered by the questions as he would have been in s1. He just genuinely doesn't see Willy as someone who matters whatsoever so he doesn't see a reason to bring it up to Charlie, even when prompted.

Still needs work because he definitely should have been honest about that because the secrecy is what's going to sow doubt in Charlie's heart, but ik Babe's heart is in a good place he just needs to be more honest.

2. Self-absorbed

Let's be really real for a moment. I don't think any of us liked hearing him joke about leaving Charlie for Willy. Many of us know and understand he was just trying to get a rise out of him, because he likes when Charlie is possessive. This is now a well-known fact among Babe fans. But it still hurts knowing Charlie is genuinely insecure about Babe finding someone more interesting, even if we and Babe all know that's never going to happen. It sucks that he wasn't able to recognize the hurt in Charlie's eyes because it was kind of obvious to me.

But that just speaks to his lack of awareness of other people's feelings and needs. Because the moment Charlie admitted how insecure he was feeling, Babe entirely changed his tune. No more joking about that, and he sincerely assured him that no one would ever compare to how much Babe loves him. It's not that he doesn't care, he's just fucking clueless and a little bit of a stupid horndog.

Admittedly, I think a part of that is insecurities Babe is afraid to admit to, as well. I think part of why he loves when Charlie is posessive is because he feels the distance in their relationship and he just wants proof that Charlie still wants him, still loves him, and would still fight to defend their relationship.

I think they're both struggling with the way things are between them and they both have unique ways of showing it. Babe riles Charlie up because it reminds him that Charlie is still invested in him, and isn't going to disappesr even if they don't spend as much time together now. Meanwhile Charlie just wants to be told he matters and holds value in Babe's life, and no matter how little or much they see of each other Babe will never stray or find solace in another man.

Different love languages, they just need to find a healthy balance that works for them both.

3. Over-confident

I think he very easily forgets that Charlie is just a guy who showed up and found himself in an extreme bout of luck. He wasn't confident and sure of himself when they met, he was simply determined. But that determination can easily be mistaken for self-confidence because he wore it with pride. Babe is a little too confident that the people around him know how he feels without having to express himself. He thinks they can read his mind a little bit and that his actions don't speak louder than his words.

And yes his actions have largely said "I only have eyes for Charlie", but Charlie hasn't been present to witness any of that. He's getting bits and pieces of the story as Babe chooses to reveal them, and it's left him with a lot of uncertainty and insecurity about Babe's true feelings. But thats mostly just because Babe feels confident that he's been clear about his feelings, when really he just hasn't.

He puts too much faith in his own capabilities as well. Thats part of why Willy has been able to outdo him so easily. He refuses to entertain the possibility of failure, and blames outside circumstances rather than addressing his own short-comings. That attitude is present in his relationship, but to a much lesser degree.

4. Extremly dismissive

If a problem effects him directly, he doesn't see it as a problem but an inconvenience. He doesn't address the Willy situation head-on because he just sees him as an annoying fan (until he starts to suspect him working for Tony). He doesn't take the time to study his lost race to find out what he did wrong because he thinks of it as a fluke. I feel like that in particular is going to come back to bite him and it's not going to be pleasent for him.

He sees his relationship strain with Charlie as a mild misunderstanding that can largely be ignored until it blows up in his face, and we all know it's going to do exactly that.

He just doesn't take things as seriously as he should, and it keeps leading to all these small hiccups that are going to become bigger speed-bumps the more he pushes them aside.

All this to say,

Babe is in for a rude awakening in the coming episodes. I love him but he is in desperate need of a little perspective, and I think facing the reality that Charlie is willing to walk away if Babe doesn't treat him with the care and respect he deserves is going to shift his priorities significantly. I honestly can't wait for him to have that fact kind of dropped on him because he really needs to understand that he can't just take Charlie for granted. Unless he shows him how much he means to him, things sre just going to continue getting more turbulent between them.

And I know he's capable of realizing this and letting his actions speak for him for once. I'm honestly excited for the upcoming breakup plot, because Charlie got his rude awakening that he can't just lie and hide everything in s1 and now it's Babe's turn. I'm excited for how much he's going to drop the macho act and actually stand by his man. I know Charlie is his whole world and I know he won't just let him walk away that easily.

The character growth that's already happened since s1 is impressive. I have faith Babe will do what's right by Charlie in the end.

Anyway if you made it this far, thanks for reading my errent rambling about blorbo. Stick around for more mildly unhinged character analysis.

[bonefall]

bonefall it's 2am but I'm having Thoughts about your shadowsight post.

"fully thunderclan-blooded since his father is bumblestripe . . . raised in shadowclan with his moms after dove realized bumble wouldn't leave her alone"

i don't know if you've mentioned this in a post already and i'm too new but i'm begging you to spill the Relationship Drama (tm) and the Trauma (tm)

I welcome all newbies, I am always willing to Spill the Dramatic Beans

So this time around, Dovewing is legitimately caught between these two options. Bumblestripe isn't obviously awful from the beginning-- for a while, she does very much love and appreciate him.

Bumblestripe has an emotional complex; he's always felt like he isn't very important to his family, so he tries to fill that emptiness with Dovewing. He wants to be attached to her hip, is always thinking of her, goes out of his way to give her attention...

But the problem with Bumblestripe is that if he doesn't feel like you're reciprocating, GOD he is miserable. He wants her to give more than she can possibly give and his plays for attention can get exhausting; it's a massive contrast to how self-assured and independent Tigerheart is.

So let's cut to the time just after the Great Battle.

Dovewing is losing her powers, and with it... goes her hearing. Suddenly she has the whole Clan's pity. The same people who shoved her at every problem, even though she cried and tried to tell them she had limits, are now the same people trying to tell her what her NEW limits are.

Yeah so what, she's hard-of-hearing now-- it's not like ANYONE ELSE listens in this goddamn Clan what's the big fucking deal

(maybe that's not fair to cats like Cinderheart, Briarlight, and Poppyfrost... but when you're mad that gets lost really easily.)

She's a-little-more-than-friends with Bumblestripe, but not officially dating. He makes her feel valuable and important, but at the same time, he's often just as suffocating as everyone else in ThunderClan. He's there for her to help her lipread, happily throws himself into learning Clan Glyphs, and uses battle-tail signs in regular conversation... but god forbid she just wants to go for a walk. Or go help Aunt Poppyfrost in the garden. Or start moving on with her life!

No one ever seems to ask Dovewing what SHE wants. What SHE feels comfortable doing. And it doesn't help that Bumblestripe is not patient when she goes against something he's planned, or she just wants alone time.

And meanwhile she is, of course, still seeing Tigerheart frequently. She is refreshingly uninterested in what Dovewing can't do. With the limited time they have together, it's all about what they DO have. The sights, the smells, their old inside jokes (Dovewing is ranting one day and Tigerheart puts her paw on her mouth, steps back, and does a backflip. Dovewing makes a joke about how she can't just backflip every time she wants to say 'don't worry'. Tigerheart grins and backflips again.)

It feels good. It feels right. Dovewing wants a fresh start to her life, and she wants to stop being ThunderClan's 'pity project'. She's getting a reputation in ThunderClan of being snappy and sensitive, making people trust her even less to do her own thing, she can barely look at her dad and uncle without being reminded of the Dark Forest Battle and the Prophecy...

The events of AVoS are no help to her feelings of discontent. ShadowClan falls apart as the Kin swallows it whole, Tigerheart needs her more than ever, she's caught between her family and clanmates or leaping headlong into a new life. But what of the danger? Does she know Tigerheart well enough to make that leap? What if her new life is the same as this one, but without anyone she knows and loves?

Meanwhile, Bumblestripe was there with her in this emotional time.

Aaaaand she ended up pregnant, and somehow, THAT was what made her snap. Bumblestripe would NEVER just let her raise her kits alone in ThunderClan, he would demand to be their father, she had no idea how her Clanmates would react, if they would try to infringe on her parenting the way they do with everything else, and at the same time, they weren't Tigerheart's! How could she know if she would take her in, especially into SkyClan, a Clan she's ALSO an outsider in???

So she SKEDADDLED. Got OUT of there. Packed her little kitty bags and beat it. If it sucks hit da bricks. Tigerheart followed... and the rest is history. The two moms came home with new friends, ready to hit the reset button on ShadowClan.

Minor setback where Tigerheart died and her dad plunged into the sacred Moonpool and drowned himself several times so his daughter could resurrect as Heartstar, of course. Small bump in the road. It's fine. She's ok now

[i-love-hobbies]

Eda and Lilith similarities

1. Both got roasted by Luz

"Cards the paper rectangles that old people think are fun!"

"The real mystery is how Lilith can be both so smart and yet so wrong at the same time. Academics am I right?"

2. Both are hard-working, powerful and physically strong

3. Both care a lot for people that are close to them

4. Both don't respect each others opinion

5. Both cope with childish behaviour, recklessness and apple blood

Differences

1. Being adult figures in children's lifes

Eda is an only parent of someone from another species and a temporary guardian to someone from another dimension, which in her world means their future is questionable and one has food allergies. She isn't a perfect one and is not nice towards kids that don't live in her house.

Lilith is an almost child murderer and is jealous of a sixteen year old. She trauma projected on her nephew. But she also saved King's life twice and Luz's ones.

2. Powers

As a wild witch the owl lady learned in every way, even from school by sneaking in classes. My guess is that this made learning extremely fun for her. This made it possible for her to continue to learn even as an adult.

She also learns through experimentation which means before she learned the basics, she almost got herself killed a lot of times. I'm assuming that she survived thanks to Lilith.

As a cult member, she is someone who never questioned authority, this comes from the fact that she was neglected as a child and needed validation.

At first this helped, cause both she and Eda are alive. But the school in the boiling isles took away her curiosity and joining the coven didn't help.

I believe both sisters had the same amount of talent and hunger for power but the enjoyment was the deciding factor. And this factor was a big one.

3. Showing care

Thanks to running away from the system, the criminal made an emotionally supportive system around her.

She is very mature. The show hasn't yet explained where she learned all this. Best guess for now is Raine, but were both of them that smart at such a young age.

She is selfless, but she also knows how not to be self-sacrificing. That's pretty rare, though to be fair it's not the perfect balance.

There are a lot of mistakes she has made though, but I think all of them can be fixed if she learns to open up, cause her other mistakes always happen when she's too scared or is trying to feel more.

The cop is easily in the top two most immature people in the show. (Fighting for the first spot with Hunter.)

I guess thirty years of isolation with someone, that used the fact that his system had influenced her to be very vulnerable to manipulation, does stuff to a person.

She's either self-sacrificing or ruining someone else's life, usually both. Considering her main motivation is caring, this is painful to watch.

The most mature we've seen her so far, obviously it's after she left the coven, was her acknowledgment of Hooty's efforts and more impressively her not using the fact she's better at glyphs than Eda to make fun of her.

Problem is she overworked herself while having a new curse.

Then s2ep4 happened and she trauma projected on a child, I'm expecting she's nowhere close to realising that was a bad idea.

She also left Hooty after telling him "Are you my mother, cause that's an awful lot of judgement?" without apologizing.

Luckily she's writing supportive letters, so it didn't hit him that much.

Her decision to leave had me facepalm. She just left a person, that has been dealing with the complexities of her being in the coven for thirty years and is easily the only thing that kept her sane and her new friend for someone that for one day acknowledged her existence.

Plus by the way they talked about the father he hasn't visited her at all.

We've already seen the negative effects from this choice on Eda and Hooty, can't wait for hers.

I refuse to believe that this is gonna end well, cause it's possible but it's gonna be luck. And the lesson from this will be "Parents with good intentions change in a day." And trust me when I tell you that is far from the truth.

My parents have been changing, but so freaking slowly it hurts. Fairly they were more flawed and now a bit better than Gwen but still the change has been taking place my whole childhood and until now I've either been refused help or gotten stuck with a bad mental health professional.

Only now am I getting actual help. I'm expecting a speed run after sixteen years of unintentional parental abuse but it's not gonna happen in a day and it's foolish to believe so.

Also we didn't see her watching King's video on her sister's account. Which has to mean something. Why did they show everyone but her?

4. Respecting others

Eda was the favourite child or at the very least she got a lot of attention for being younger. Also I refuse to believe that her parents did anything about her "breaking the classroom" behaviour.

But she respects a lot of people's opinions. Whether it's a bard with stage fright, a child from unknown species or a teen from another dimension. She's gotten close to all three of them. And they have all shaped her point of view (except for Raine but fairly enough we know nothing about their relationship with her).

So what about her complete "I don't care about Lilith's point of view."

Well it's not just her. It's a huge hatred towards "Belos is a saint." She grew up in this system, she had this opinion at one point herself. She isn't hearing anything new from her.

She doesn't have a right to laugh at her but she has a right to refuse to talk about it with someone that refuses to go beyond "It's just the right thing."

Talking about that, it took Eda almost dieing for this stubbornness to shake. No one could tell her Belos is wrong.

On top of that she lived (and "lives" but that's kinda debatable) with huge amounts of fear from both Belos and thanks to his gaslighting, Eda and was working a job that asked of her to be a workoholic.

This makes her emotionally exhausted which makes it hard for her to question stuff. How do you do that when you can barely think?

Eda worked on her laughing in the beginning of season 2 but I'm not sure how she'll act now. Because after Raine seemingly died, she acted awful towards Hunter. She needs ways of handling her trauma outside of making fun of people.

Lilith did too. Firstly, she commited treason and she was also quite open to King being the king of demons.

Now, it was idiotic to believe in it. She's shaking between Belos is always right and wild magic is always right. She needs middle ground.

What's funny is Eda has found the middle ground that works for herself. She's reading books from the local library and is known for being a wild witch.

Because she's scared of hurting others she isolated herself and that gave the wrong impression to the fandom.

She's the one that believes in the healing and potions covens, not her mom.

5. Recklessness

Eda has a one-sided grudge against a twelve year old. I will never shut up about this.

When she was young she broke everything in sight. But now at the very least she's not breaking her own house.

I think it's a bit better.

For before I think it was ignorance, because she was a child. But now it's her coping. She knows better than this.

Everything the ex coven head does is without thinking, even Eda's rescue.

She can't go beyond "Well she is my sister and we had a good past with each other."

"And how can you prove that she hasn't changed?"

"Well, she saved my life and I actually played a game with her."

If she can say the last sentence, ignore me but I don't know if she can.

Honestly I just wanted to compare the good and bad, but I ended up saying Lilith didn't have a life. And honestly she didn't. She wasn't a positive in anyone's life including her own. She was doing her best to become a robot. She doesn't have opinions or ideas of her own that she respects.

Eda said the words "It's my power, kid and before you showed I spend my whole life wasting it." Eda wasted her powers by isolating herself from people, but she didn't waste her mind. Lilith wasted both.

Her importance in Eda's childhood is the only positive, because she didn't respect herself. Her thirty years in the coven was straight up waste. Nothing positive to both her and others happened, after an action of hers in that period and that's just sad.

It's not too late for her obviously. It's never too late for people that want to change. She was already living. She had a new friend. She was restoring her relationship with Eda. She was begining to have her own opinions... AND THEN SHE JUST LEFT.

I know this is good writing, because everyone goes through their ups and downs. Plus Lilith's biggest fears recently came to life.

[whumpsday]

I'm going to throw my own analysis in the ring here. Apologies ahead of time if this steps on any toes, as with all analysis the thoughts shared here reflect more on me than the original work. Insert your post on forgiveness here.

I read Kane as disabled and fundamentally failed by his society, who sees that he's effectively missing a hand and decided that's all the reason they need to lock him out of sight.

Does that excuse his actions? No. Goodness knows Bellamy has been waving the "happier better life here" flag where Kane could see it.

He chose, time and again, to hurt Jim. That's on his head.

And he was punished for it.

My particular take on the whole thing is that the Hunters (and thereby us) were the crucible that knocked all the slag out of Kane that was weighing him down. Purifying him in a sense. He is smart enough to learn his lesson and do better. Anton can't claim that. I highly doubt the rest of his family can either.

At the end of the day the story strikes me as one of metamorphosis, at least for Kane. Starting out as a shitty person, who goes through a hell only he would survive, and is lucky enough to be able to reform himself on the otherside.

As for Jim and Liz, their story is more complex. For them the situation really is thorny, but they also have a plethora of good options.

Killing Kane is a good option. Technically it would even be a mercy. Jim just can't bring himself to do it. Which, fair.

To my mind, letting Kane redeem himself is the harder but "holier" option if that makes any sense.

this is a very interesting analysis!

one point i want touch on is the reading of kane as disabled. this isn't quite analogous. kane's in a very peculiar situation. lack of persuasion is looked down on with intense scrutiny within vampire nobility, but you'd be hard-pressed to find a regular everyday vampire who would care. kane was born into a very insular community with very skewed values.

@whumpshaped and i have actually discussed an AU where kane is human, and the parallel we drew there was kane being born into a cult that stigmatizes left-handedness: most of the world won't care, but particular communities REALLY will. unlike ableism, which is pretty pervasive throughout larger society.

the concept of kane's traumatic experiences "purifying him in a sense" is a tricky one. there's some nasty implications that can be drawn from that. but in a way, i do think it speaks to real life. i would draw on my own personal experiences for this. i have posted about my own trauma here, just linking that so i don't have to re-explain it. prior to my own dismal experience, i was far less understanding about the horrors of the american mental health system. i would tell people who were acting like dicks to "go to therapy". i once called 911 on a suicidal friend. i thought my grandfather (who went through something very similar to what i did) was koo-koo because of his intense paranoia of doctors.

after what i went through, i completely get it. i'm the same way, now. always afraid. never trusting healthcare professionals, ESPECIALLY mental health ones. i get it. and i've projected a lot of that "suddenly getting it" feeling into kane, obviously. for all the horrors, i personally feel that i am a better, more compassionate person now than i was before i got ptsd. so that's where that comes from.

jim and liz's situation is really thorny. for jim, once i decided to go with a whumper-turned-whumpee angle on it, i'd decided jim's story would be a metaphor for "learning to live with your trauma". anyone who has trauma needs to learn how to live with it, how to function despite it. it's something i've been trying really hard to do myself. in jim's case, it's literal. kane is his trauma, living in his house, in his basement, and if he can't bring himself to kill him, he has to learn to live with that.

[kendraeagerstarborn]

The U S Governments definition of sexual assault & article from Self.com “ What Is Sexual Assault (and what Isn’t), According to The Law” by Korin Miller & links to 2 Teen Vogue articles with excerpt from 1- “What to Do Immediately After A Sexual Attack”

This post includes

1-How the GOVERNMENT DEFINES WHAT IS AND ISNT CONSENT LEGALLY from the New York State Sexual Violence Prevention Program website

(Along with my notes on the changes that need to be made to it so that all survivors can successfully prosecute their attackers as well as the legal loopholes to be wary of)

AND

2-Self.com’s 11/3/17 article “ What Is Sexual Assault (and what Isn’t), According to The Law” by Korin Miller

(This story helps explain the various state by state definitions of sexual assault and why it varies as well as how pop culture can influence or bias the court rulings of jurors in rape cases)

AND

3-Teen Vogue Article Links for

“SELF CARE TIPS FOR SEXUAL ASSAULT SURVIVORS”

&

“What to Do Immediately After A Sexual Attack” with partial excerpt

https://www.self.com/story/sexual-assault-definition =>Link for following article

Culture November 3, 2017Korin Miller

What Is Sexual Assault (and What Isn't), According to the Law

What actually constitutes sexual assault is not always clear.

Adrian Samson / Getty ImagesSexual assault and harassment have been in the news a lot lately, largely due to allegations against Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein, as well as those that have been raised

against House of Cards actor Kevin Spacey.

First, a recap: On Oct. 5, The New York Times published an investigative report detailing a number of sexual harassment allegations women have made about Weinstein over the past three decades. In the weeks that followed, even more women came forward to share their own experiences with sexual assault and harassment. These allegations often had nothing to do with Weinstein; instead, women were sharing their stories using the hashtag #MeToo to show just how many people have been impacted by sexual assault and harassment.

Then, on Oct. 30, BuzzFeed reported that actor Anthony Rapp alleged that Spacey had made an unwanted sexual advance toward him in 1986. Rapp was 14 at the time, and Spacey was 26. Spacey issued an apology on Oct. 31, writing, "I honestly do not remember the encounter; it would have been over 30 years ago. But if I did behave then as he describes, I owe him the sincerest apology for what would have been deeply inappropriate drunken behavior, and I am sorry for the feelings he describes having carried with him all these years." In the same apology, Spacey made a public statement about his sexual orientation for the first time. The actor said he's had relationships with both men and women and now lives as a gay man. Some criticizedSpacey for including this in his apology, noting that it may conflate homosexuality with pedophilia in a way that is inappropriate, unfair, and harmful to the LGBTQ community.

This increasing public conversation surrounding sexual assault and harassment is an important step toward addressing a prevalent and dangerous societal issue. But the definition of sexual assault according to the law isn’t always clear. Here, we breakdown what legally constitutes sexual assault, harassment, and more. What does “sexual assault” actuallymean?

It’s actually harder to define than you’d think. According to the United States Department of Justice, sexual assault is “any type of sexual contact or behavior that occurs without the explicit consent of the recipient.” Sexual assault is basically an umbrella term that includes sexual activities such as rape, fondling, and attempted rape

However, the legal definition varies depending on which state you’re in, and can even be different depending on where you were when the assault happened, Emily Austin, director of advocacy services for California Coalition Against Sexual Assault, tells SELF. For example, she says, sexual assault on college campuses in California means a sex act that occurred without affirmative consent (which is described as active, voluntary participation), while California criminal law defines rape as nonconsensual sexual intercourse, and other laws govern different forms of sexual assault beyond intercourse. “It’s complex,” she admits.

The definitions can vary because of the way in which our laws are made, explains Rebecca O'Connor, vice president of public policy at the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN), the largest anti-sexual assault organization in the U.S. “On the state

level, because nothing is simple, the states have sovereignty over laws, and different legislatures and jurors have crafted different definitions of specific behaviors,” she tells SELF. Some states explicitly define rape or sexual assault and others may not, but fold that behavior under different terminology. “It runs the gamut,” she says, adding that states typically create these definitions with guidance from the Department of Justice. However, the details are crafted on a state level, often based on local cases that set a precedent for how sexual assault is phrased and determined.

Generally, sexual assault falls into one of three categories.Jennifer Gentile Long, the chief executive officer of AEquitas: The Prosecutors' Resource on Violence Against Women, a global project she co-founded in April 2009, tells SELF those include:

Penetration crimes Of a body part by another body part (i.e., penal penetration of mouth, anus, vagina) Of a body part by an object

Contact with genitalia, breast, buttocks, or other intimate body parts

Exposure of genitalia, breast, buttocks or other intimate body parts

According to Austin, sexual harassment can include sexual assault (such as rape and/or grabbing), but it’s also broader. Sexual harassment “includes creating a hostile environment, pervasive jokes/comments, looks, and body language that makes an individual feel harassed,” she says. But, again, the exact definition can vary by state.

As for “locker room talk,” experts say it's not usually a crime, but it can feed into a

culture of sexual harassment. “From a prosecution perspective, we are always thinking about how sexuality and sexual violence portrayed in media, music, film, video games, and culture, impacts the way jurors and criminal justice professionals evaluate evidence in a case and render just and fair decisions without bringing in misinformation and bias,” Long says. The more pervasive "locker room talk," the more likely people may be biased into thinking a crime like sexual harassment is normal and OK.O’Connor agrees, noting that it’s not a crime but still carries a lot of weight. “Any language or phrase that condones sexual violence is dangerous because it attempts to

brush away allegations of criminal behavior,” she says. O’Connor says sexual assault and

harassment is “woefully underreported” and “locker room talk” marginalizes victims.

(O’Connor also notes that RAINN’s hotline has had a 33 percent increase in sessions since Trump’s 2005 comments surfaced.)

However, in some situations, “locker room talk” could actually be seen as a form of sexual harassment, Austin says. She cites inappropriate jokes or pinup pictures in the

workforce as potentially creating a hostile work environment, which could fall under the umbrella of sexual harassment.

What should you do if you know or suspect that you’ve been a victim of sexual harassment or assault?

Austin recommends finding a sexual violence advocate near you, like a rape crisis center.

“Most sexual assault advocates have a certain level of privileged communication—they

can keep the conversation confidential, even against a subpoena,” she says. “This allows a survivor to really explore their options.” They can also set up evidence collection (like a rape kit) and contact law enforcement, if needed and you want to pursue your legal options. And, if you’re not exactly sure what to call the sexual violence you were the victim of, a counselor can help. Austin says this is a good option if the idea of going directly to the authorities is intimidating to you.

However, Long says you shouldn’t be afraid to report a crime. “I would encourage people

who have been the victim of rape and/or sexual assault to come forward and report the crime, and to expect to be treated with respect and dignity,” she says. “Regardless of whether one is willing or able to engage with the criminal justice system, I encourage each survivor to seek medical attention as well as support through a rape crisis center or a trauma-informed therapist.”

And, above all, O’Connor says it’s important to keep this in mind: “Know that it’s not OK, and it’s not the victim’s fault—ever.”

If you have been the victim of sexual assault, you can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800-656-4673 or chat online at online.rainn.org.

& Check Out these Important Reads via LINKS BELOW

1) ᒪIᑎK TO TEEᑎ ᐯOGᑌE ᗩᖇTIᑕᒪE -“SELF CARE TIPS FOR SEXUAL ASSAULT SURVIVORS” ↣ https://www.teenvogue.com/story/self-care-tips-for-sexual-assault-survivors

& 2) ✵✱.ⒺⓍⒸⒺⓇⓅⓉ ⒻⓇⓄⓜ❊✫✽

https://www.teenvogue.com/story/sexual-assault-help

✪”WHAT TO DO IMMEDIATELY AFTER A SEXUAL ATTACK”

↦ "...In the immediate aftermath of a sexual assault, it can be hard know what to do or what to think. Before you do anything else, it’s important to make sure that you’re safe: “If you are still in immediate danger, call 911,” Katherine Hull Fliflet, vice president of communications at the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network, tells Teen Vogue. If your attacker is still nearby, it’s important to get yourself to a safe place, preferably with a close friend or relative.

It’s also important to get one thing straight about what just happened: “Know that it was not your fault,” Fiflet says. Whatever you do next is up to you — it’s your body, your life, your mental health and well-being, and only you know what’s best for you. But if you do choose to seek assistance after sexual assault, there are many people who want to help you. Here’s what to expect, step by step, if you do choose to seek help.

If you want to reach out for help immediately after an assault, you want to reach out for help immediately after an assault, a good first action is to call the National Sexual Assault hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673), where you can talk to a trained professional from a local sexual assault service provider. The hotline provides “24/7, judgment-free, and confidential help that can direct you to the nearest health center that cares for rape victims, or that handles sexual assault forensic exams,” Fliflet explains. Not comfortable speaking over the phone?

You can also access trained professionals online, which mirrors the help you’d receive via telephone.

The hotline platforms used by RAINN do not transcribe conversations or capture the IP address of those seeking help, so you can be sure your chat is 100% anonymous.

If you want to seek medical help after an assault, a local sexual assault service provider can assist you in finding the right kind of care, tell you what local hospitals treat rape survivors, and even accompany you to a medical center if you wish...”

See rest of article @ teen vogue (link above)